(Untitled)

[katzedecimal]

This is the third time that someone's mistaken me for a trans-woman.

I'm cis-female.

I really don't know how I should feel about this.

I know how I do feel; I just don't know how I should feel.

Comments

[jordan179]

What do you mean "cis-female?" Does it imply the same thing as, say "cisalpine" or "cislunar" (on the near side of)? Do people see you as looking too masculine?

[katzedecimal]

"Cis-" is a common term in the LGBT communities. In a gross nutshell, it means "not trans"; in a more accurate way, it means "gender of mind and soul align with gender of body" - but it does not, by extension, mean "conforms with socially imposed gender roles or definitions of 'masculinity' and 'femininity.' I am cis-female, meaning I was born female, have always identified as female, and am comfortable as a female human. I am not "feminine", in that I seldom wear skirts (prefer trousers) and seldom wear makeup. I do have long hair, but more for sensory reasons than for a desire to appear 'feminine.'

Yes, I feel that that is the underlying tone behind such comments - that I look like a man trying to be a woman, ultimately that I am an ugly woman. I feel that this is tremendously insulting both to me as a cis-woman, but also to trans-women, who can be very beautiful and certainly more 'feminine' than I. But on this particular occasion, I think the person may actually have been trying to compliment me on my passability, except

[happydog]

To my brain, I feel like wrong-headed compliments are worse than flat-out insults. They make me feel worse.