The Dork Legacy 8.3
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
[ Older Dork Entries ]
Teenaged Date: Okay, NO, I do NOT want to see your boobies. But dude, we should totally see more of each other. BUT NOT LIKE THAT.
Uh, no offense, GlaDos, but that's not...uh...really likely.
Good witch anim > evil witch anim. Especially when it's, yanno, me.
Katu: You still love me, even though I married myself into my own legacy, right? ...Right?
Crowd: ....
XD
Katu: I don't think I like this anymore!
Sorry, dear. No C-sections in The Sims. Use them child-bearin' hips yo mamma gave ya.
Okay, so from the time these babies were born (like, a month ago, lol), I have been wondering HOW THE FUCK did they get those alien eyes.
Because, uh, THESE are Gizka's:
And since my self sim is CAS, she has no parents!
But then I figured it out. Gizka probably inherited LISTER'S eyes, and kept her PT's eyes as recessive. It was a massive revelation for me, about...oh, three minutes ago now? :P
And the twins are two girls: Dervish and Mesmer (why yes, those ARE Guild Wars classes).
So, I may have changed her LTW a little bit. She's frustratingly not attracted to a lot of people, and is apparently hard to get along with, so getting her dates was beginning to wear on me. So I changed her LTW to a similar one, but one that can be completed with a spouse!
Yes. You did have a baby. Maybe you want to...take care of it, or something? Just sayin'.
Good girl.
Katu: My husband is a good-for-nothing cheatyface. :[
Katu: I oughta shove this wand right up his -
OW.
And then? She did this autonomously. More than a little creepy, there, Katu.
Katu: Why, Molly Dolly, do you think we should brush your hair?
Katu: What's that, Molly Dolly? You want me to kill daddy? But, I don't even have a knife!
OKAY. PUT THE TOY DOWN.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Dork update to provide you with a strangely arousing video of Zachary Quinto covered in milk.
HARKER. DON'T PEE ON THE BABY.
Harker: Sorry. *mops*
Harker, it is not your night tonight. :(
You guys know what this means. However, all babby-producing heirs/spouses are accounted for, so who is the victim?
Alien Spaceship: IT'S GOOFY TIME.
Gizka: NO, DAD, NO!
That's a lot of awfully appropriate responses. No one's laughing! That's...weird.
Henry: Mom? Mom, are you there?
It's not a communication device, Henry.
Dieter: OMG GIANT FRISBEE ROO ROO ROO!
GlaDos: That infernal noise is grating on my sensitive hearing circuits.
Katu: The day needs my saving expertise! *heroic pose*
Alien Spaceship: TITS OR GTFO.
Gizka: *GTFOs*
Gizka: What the hell just happened to me?
Alien Spaceship: LOL B& BITCH. TRIPFAG!
4chan is an alien planet, guise. You always knew it.
Gizka: Fine. I hate you, too.
Alien Spaceship: ROFLCOPTER.
Gizka: Ow, my wrist really hurts.
You landed on the street with your face. Your wrist hurts?
Q: Yay! 4chan party spaceship!
Trenton: Boo, motherfucker!
And now begins a timeless tradition.
Primp.
And then again.
Whine about pissing yourself.
But check to make sure you're sexy despite it.
And then repeat.
And then, after about SEVEN OR EIGHT PRIMPING SESSIONS, I noticed that his hygiene was going up a little bit each time. YOU CANNOT PRIMP YOURSELF CLEAN, HENRY. D:
Henry: I'm damn sure gonna try, though. I think these flies match my hair really well.
Henry: Mmm, man, dinner was delicious.
Henry: Am I still pretty? Oh. Yeah. Awesome.
Townie Ghost: TAKE A GODDAMN SHOWER.
He did take a shower. You can tell, because GlaDos specifically came to THAT bathroom to prepare dinner. You are a sop, GlaDos.
Henry: That cheating bastard.
Kettle: WASSUP NIGGA?!
Mai, who I believe Harker knows from college (or somewhere), invites her out on a date! Sweet!
This is where they go. It's an awesome split-level cafe that I downloaded from MTS2.
Mai is super pretty! Of course, she is the female version of the face template based on Kilik from gen 2, so marrying in would be a leetle weird.
They both had wants to dine out, so...
Harker: Table for two, please.
Blond Suited Guy: I'm with her.
Harker: No he's not.
Harker: Wow, this lobster sounds really good.
Mai: I think I'm gonna get the chili.
Simple tastes, I guess.
Mai: Hey, that guy over there looks familiar...
Mai: OH SHIT.
What? What?
Oh, it's Rimmer.
Master of the wit and the repartee
His command of space directives is uncanny
How come he's such a genius? Don't ask me
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer
He's also a fantastic swimmer
And if you play your cards right
Then he just might come round for dinner
Harker: You're right, this does look good, can I steal some?
Mai: Sure.
Harker: Want some lobster?
Mai: Yeah, I'll try some.
Mai: Mmmm! ^_^
OKAY CUTEST FACE EVER OR WHAT GUYS.
And nothing tops off a romantic date than lesbian musicless dancing in the rain.
Except for when LIGHTNING STRIKES AND EVERYONE DIES.
Harker: Oh, is it raining?
Back at home, I decided it was time to settle Harker down. So I checked her attractions. Mai wasn't even ON there. :*(
So we invited over the next best thing.
Despite her DateFace, she and Darrin got along swimmingly!
Oh, you assholes.
And, objective achieved!
He's a romance sim, but at least his LTW is non-obnoxious. :D
And after his makeover he becomes my favourite spouse of this generation. XD HIS NOSE. SO SEXY.
-.- Yes. You are. Thanks so much for that.
Darrin: Oh, Harker, your face is so -
Harker: Don't touch me.
It's okay, Darrin. It's just the pregnancy hormones.
Okay, let's get that LTW underway.
They're both pretty good at this.
Dieter disagrees, however. In his queue was "Howl At Singer". XD
CLASSY DUDES.
That's freaking weird. But not complaining.
This is around the time where Katu really started pissing me off. XD All she ever does is eat, sleep, ACR, rage, and this anim. CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN, BITCH.
And then, the unthinkable happened.
WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE AND GO GO GO!
Q: Ew, it stinks in there! I don't wanna go in!
*GLARE*
But oh-so-hilariously, she could NOT get PAST Gizka to beg for the girl's life. OMGWTFBBQ.
R.I.P. Gizka. I don't know what happened to you, but it appeared to have been bad. :(
And, since this IS a legacy after all, Harker decides at this moment to go into labour in THE SMALLEST ROOM IN THE HOUSE. A 1x2 ROOM. WTFFFF.
This is Paragon! He is, if you don't recall, the bastard child of one of her dates from last update.
Harker shows me how badass she is by throwing on some clothes, seconds post-birth, and rushing downstairs to put out the fire.
(Oh, and three guesses who started it. If you guess GlaDos, you are correct! Poor girl. All that woohoo must have shaken her nodes loose.)
She also proceeds to catch her leaping husband directly afterwards. Harker has got to be, like, the most badass woman in the world.
And I'm glad I've got ONE romance sim who acts like a romance sim (ie, being a better parent than a family sim).
Oh, and it's toddler time!
This is Dervish. Look closely, because she swaps hair with her sister, soon.
She's the cute one of the two.
Mesmer is...well, I can't say I didn't warn you.
Please, no more. Think of the children. The poor, deformed children.
Q is still managing to stave off the inevitable.
Hello, old friend.
Error Message: Hey dude. Just passing through, don't mind me.
Now this is Dervish.
And this is Mesmer. As you can see, just because there aren't a lot of pictures of them, doesn't mean they're neglected. XD
ROFL ROFL ROFL ILU MAXIS.
So, this picture was taken as I was redecorating the Dorks' new house. I tried moving them out of the lot that Laurie made me, and moving them back in...but all the glitches and crashing were still present. So, sadly admitting defeat, I moved them yet again, to another lot I built myself.
As, as with all new move-ins, the shit hits the fan.
Katu: Okay Mesmer, mommy's gonna put you down for a moment to slap a bitch.
Seriously, guys, can you just cool it? Even a little? For the kids?
Mesmer: Damn, mommy's pissed.
Henry: Hi, honey, how do you -
Katu: WHY CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?!
Henry: Whoa, whoa, what are you talking about?! It IS in my pants! wanna see?
Henry: You never let me have any fun. *pout*
GlaDos: Hah! Hahah! This is what I live for!
GlaDos: *vacuum cleaner off noise*
Sorry dear. It wasn't so bad when you were actually helpful. But I can't have you stranding babies outside and leaving food in the bathrooms and setting fires AND ruining Henry's relationships.
Katu: I'm pregnant and my husband keeps fucking a robot instead of me. Will you comfort me?
Townie: Whoa, crazy lady, back off! I have mace!
Katu: Well, that didn't go well.
GEE. I WONDER WHY. MAYBE BECAUSE HE WAS JUST WALKING PAST YOUR HOUSE ON HIS WAY SOMEWHERE?!
Harker: Good God, am I pregnant?
Oh, I sure hope so! XD
Katu: NO ONE LOVES ME.
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, here's Harker's makeover:
I think this hair is freaking awesome on her. :D
Really, Farm Town? Really?
So, I don't have a cap of it...but the game crashed. Again.
This time, on loadup, Henry wisely goes for the right woman, sparing GlaDos deactivation.
Everyone gets settled in.
AND WTF WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! WHAT IS WITH MY GAME?!
Katu: My dog just died, and I really need a hug!
Townie: WTF NO.
KATU.
Wow, look, a Dork child in a high chair! We haven't seen that since the first generation!
Mesmer: GET ME OUT OF HERE, I'M NOT HUNGRY, I NEED A BATH.
GLADOS. >.>
Everybody's a critic.
OKAY WTF InTeen.
NO IT WASN'T. SHE'S NOT EVEN THAT TIRED.
BOOBSPLOSION.
Harker: omg that child is indecent!
Okay, yes, that's weird, but WHY IS HE NAKED ANYWAY?!
Careful there, Katu. Better not let your COMFORT get too low or you could ~lose the baby~.
Oh. So. Uh. I guess Mumbles died. He was surprisingly quiet about it.
Had enough potty training faces? TOO BAD.
Q: Betsy, you're my best friend.
Can it be? Is it...birthday time?!
WHY YES IT IS. XD WIN AFRO. Oh, and his name is Paragon, as I conviniently forgot to mention before (I think?).
I don't see a lot of his mom in him. But I am SO sad he got his father's lips and NOT the nose. I WANTED THE NOSE, DAMMIT.
GlaDos: I wish to embrace you!
Katu: Ew, no thanks, I don't want syphillus.
Come on, GlaDos. What did you think?
IT'S DIETER!
Dieter: Oh my GOD! There's SOMETHING ON MY BUTT! KILL IT KILL IT!
Dieter: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, FOUL THING!
Dieter: Wait...alive? I'm...I'm alive!
<3333333333
This shot is pointless, but pretty, well lit, and includes Q. Good enough for me.
It was really only a matter of time.
Katu: You know, I almost don't even care anymore.
Henry: WHOA, NOW DON'T OVERREACT TO THIS!
Katu: Overreact to what? I'm getting used to it.
Henry: You mean you're not...jealous anymore? *pout*
Katu: Well, maybe a little upset.
GlaDos: Oh, Test Subject Katu, you should have been there when he adjusted my primary grinding gears! It was marvelous!
GlaDos: I propose a peaceful solution. Let us embrace.
Katu: NUH UH.
Henry: Aww, come on, it'd be hot!
Meanwhile, on the peaceful side of the house...Zzort!
GlaDos: These fish remind me of Henry's sweet affair with me.
Katu: Infidel.
GlaDos: *vacuum off noise*
Sorry guys. GlaDos and I have an on-again, off-again relationship. *rimshot*
This had better be the last time.
Q: Wow! It's...it's a baby! I've just witness the miracle of life!
Dude, Q, you've witness the miracle of life more times than God.
This is Elementa, a girl with non-alien eyes. :)
Toddler spam time, you say? Very well:
Paragon: Oh, oh, what if these other two kids don't like me?
Paragon: Hey, like my drawing?
Dervish: Yeah, it's nice.
Paragon: Oh..."nice..." It's cuz I'm black, isn't it?
Why, who could this be? Could it be...POLONA GRABOWSKI?!
And here, drawn in red, was the CRAZY ASS WAY she took to get to the BACK PATIO THING DOOR. Eventually I blocked off the backyard entirely, and now people come to the front.
Henry: Hey Polona, long time, no see!
Polona: Sup! Yeah, it's been a while.
Bamf! And now you guys know the REAL reason I deactivated GlaDos. Can't have her messing this one up, too! XD
Oh, for crying out loud!
Eventually we got her made over and prettiful. XD
See? Hawt.
And apparently still carrying that torch!
Henry: Your boobs are really perky.
Polona: Yeah I know.
Obviously that was a very effective pickup line.
And her mothering tendencies are strong. We like this one.
Up next: What will the kids look like as children? What will happen to Katu? And, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?!
Also, sorry for the long wait. Have been doing other things. And I'm not sure when I'll get to the Potts update. But I figured something is better than nothing! XD