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The world keeps spinning....
T texted me last night. I am not quite sure what to think about that. I am confused. Really confused. His text was simple:
"I just wanted to say hi, See how you were doing. I didn't want things to end the way they did, but I guess that's what usually happens. You're an amazing person and deserve the best. You're smart, funny, a good mother ( Read more... ) -
The best and worst moment
Every day since Friday night, I have had the best moment (besides the sleeping hours which I wish I could stay in forever) quickly followed by the worst moment in a matter of seconds of each of other. These moments start each of my day and these moments are carried though the rest of my day like a weight that I can't get rid of. The moment ( Read more... ) -
A Haunting Journal Entry
I wrote this on Nov. 7th, 2009 at 7:09 PM here on this journal. (Friends only post). I was writing in response to a recent heartbreak.... This was in response to the last man I truly let in, let me know me in the same way I let T know me. This was also in a ironic way....a man who I flew thousands of miles to spend several days with in July ( Read more... ) -
A first of many...
Today is the first day I did not receive a good morning text from T since we began talking. Today is the first day that I did not share my activities for the day. Today is the first day that I did not hear I love you from him since he first said it. Today will be the first day since we began talking that I don't talk to him. That thought, that ( Read more... ) -
Little Bit Stronger
I'm not going to give him one second, one minute of my life any longer. I am done hoping he will change... I am getting a little bit stronger and I walked away last night and this time I am not looking back. I am done letting him drag my heart around.... I will be okay. It's been two years of this.... I've given Deacon two whole years of my time, ( Read more... ) -
Why do they do that?
So Deacon has acted like he hated me all summer when we communicated about the money he owes me. All of our texting has been about the money and nothing else. I was good with that. Like In the years Tom was silent, and in the months K was quiet I grew to accept that they both hated me and had moved on. I wasn't okay with it.... But I accepted it ( Read more... ) -
Work
Work is about to drive me insane. Love my job.... But geesh, one day of nothing happening would be a breath of fresh air for all of us. Down one team member who doesn't do anything... Leaves the rest of us scrambling. CINC supones coming in at 3 o'clock requesting records for court at 8am the next day leaves one rushing and staying at work till 7pm ( Read more... ) -
Work, Life and No time to play...
I love that I am back at the school that I love and I am happy there I really am.... I have moments though where I am overwhelmed by my job I suppose. I have so many hurting children, so many hurting families that I deal with every single day that sometimes it's hard to shut my mind off when I come home at night. My job keeps me so busy that ( Read more... ) -
Barely
No one understands that I'm barely functioning. No one understands that it hurts to try and function. I do what I have to, and I do what I can... I kept the house clean this week somehow. No one cares that I barely can function....