Incentivizing Kates

[katestine]

I'm still disgusted by that weekend at the end of January where I got nothing done, even though I was home for two days with nothing planned. It's not like I did anything fun either, just sat on my couch, playing with my iPod - I didn't even play video games! Mistress Mary Poppins says that maybe I just need some vegging, but I felt guilty the

Comments

[mrcairo]

I think the general concept of incentives works for you. If this implementation Isn't being quite right, then go back to what *did* bring you success in the past: Throw parties.

[katestine]

Eh, now that I've thrown one, I've figured out how I can just put everything that can't be seen by guests on my bed and borrow a coat rack and voila!

[arashinomoui]

I'd say credit yourself the full amount. I've been to enough friends' homes and dealt with my own to discover that no, laundry doesn't just "[have] to be done" in some special way that other household tasks don't just "[have] to be done". If the motivation of "it has to be done" was enough to motivate you, you'd be there already.

I'd say write down the rules that you can live with. And define, at whatever level of detail the states of "working" and "done".

[katestine]

There's only so many times I can buy new emergency underwear :-) But the Intarwebs seem to be telling me to give myself the credit, which is great bc I suspect seeing the new book every time I flip through the Kindle app will help with motivation.

[gmpe]

I think you've gotten caught up in the rules and that is hindering your ability to go do stuff. Ditch the rules. Rewrite the rules. Reinterpret the rules. Up to you. Status quo doesn't sound like it's quite there.

Also, I realized lately that my new definition of "being a grown up" is going and doing the things that need doing because they need doing and not begrudgingly. This does NOT mean I feel like a grown up each day all day. But it does help me get through cleaning the kitchen. This mindset may work better when there are actual kids in your midst who CAN'T be the grown up so it's more evident that someone needs to be.

Now I am off to be a kid for a while and veg because I can. Back to being a grown up later.

[katestine]

Well, I kinda like thinking about incentives, so it's sort of fun to me. I think I'm going to follow jadia's advice to just get started and give myself permission to change the rules later if it no longer works.

This second paragraph was so helpful, thank you. I worry often that my life is so disorganized without kids or a roommate, it's fabulous to hear that not everyone who has kids is a grown-up all day long every day. Bc, I don't think I could do that.

And it's interesting to think about how living with someone changes your preferences: when I lived with someone who was untidy, I was constantly cleaning (so I could pick on his bad habits without being hypocritical). um.

I'm glad you're getting an Unproductive Day.

[jadia]

Yeah, I think I wouldn't be as tidy at all without housemates. At least this way, all untidyness gets confined to my room, because I feel too bad about subjecting them to untidyness to mess up the common areas. If I were to not have housemates I'm sure that sometimes the whole house will be a pigsty and I will be very unhappy.

Maybe you could pretend that there are _always_ visitors coming and only mess up one part of your apartment (ie, your room). That might confine the problem?

[katestine]

I think the real issue is that I haven't lived in an environment where everything had its place since, er, maybe high school: if everything in my apt had a place where it was supposed to go and where it fit, I'd be tidy forever!

Part of this whole process is that I've noticed none of my siblings seem to mind when visitors drop by unexpectedly, so I'm trying to get everything to the aforementioned level of tidiness so I can be like that too.

[forestmaster]

Good point about fancy tea and relative cost. So... did you buy some fancy tea

[katestine]

I didn't buy the tea, bc I didn't feel like I "deserved" it. ugh.

I specifically want to reward effort, not outcome bc I've heard a lot about how this makes people happier. And getting tasks done is its own reward, just not a sufficient reward.

The outside accountability thing seems to help some people a lot, which is why I may start talking about this a lot more on lj :o)

I checked out flylady a few years ago when the Empress was enthusing about it. I found it doesn't work so well for me bc most of the things I'm failing to do are not cleaning, but tidying. I don't care if my sink is clean, I only use it for drying water bottles, whereas I do care intensely whether some perfidious creature has left a pile of climbing gear in the middle of my floor when I wasn't looking and always right before I have visitors.

I liked that principle - I think it was from flylady - of spending 15mins per room and moving on, except I only have four rooms. Hm, maybe four is enough.

[forestmaster]

Tidying is part of flylady, too. 15 minutes at a time... problem hotspots... having planned times for doing routine chores...

Could you coordinate a boring chore with something that would motivate you like listening to a book/podcast/music/lecture you like while you're doing it? I think you mentioned something about doing that while you run... Maybe you can't listen to a certain something unless you're tidying in the meantime?

Buy the tea and invite someone over to have a tea party with you at your recently tidied apartment?

Heh... buy it and send some my way and I'll send you some random tea, too. I bought some tea while on vacation last year at a grocery store... may not have been anything that fancy, but it was from brands that weren't carried locally and that was a fun post-vacation memory when I had some...

Anyway... keep blogging about it... sooner or later, hopefully you'll find something that works for you. I like jadia's comment below about letting the market determine the rate... hey, if it works to get you to do things

[katestine]

I usually listen to Tiesto's club mix podcasts while tidying: it's about the only thing that goes well with techno. Tidying unfortunately requires too many brain cells to listen to anything really great.

With Alice's Tea Cup around the corner from me, I never serve tea at my apt.

I would totally be up for a tea trade - except that I suck at mailing things. Funny enough, over the weekend, my mother bought me a fancy tea while we were at the health food store bc it was on sale - I've decided this totally doesn't count against my allowance - and it was terribly disappointing. Yes, the tea bag was nice, but I have way better green tea in my cupboard.

I think the new shiny system will work - the comments here helped me appropriately contextualize it and buy in to the system - I just need to make time for tidying.

[jadia]

When I started my now-defunct shiny system, it turned out I needed a nonlinear start to the shiny system to get me going. I actually gave myself shinies for a couple dumb things, which got me hooked into the system, and that's when it started working.

So yeah, I vote for full credit too. :-) I mean, clearly the system isn't actually motivating you, so you should up the shinies until it does. You've already decided that it's reasonable to spend the money, so that's not the issue. Then later when you don't need it as much you can reduce the shiny exchange rate again. Remember, let the market determine the fair rate! ;-)

[katestine]

aha! See, one thing I've worried about is the shiny system being too generous in the long run: 2 hours isn't =that= long and some of the tasks repeat (laundry, ugh) and then I'll have too many shinies and be unmotivated. I think I will give myself the full credit, buy one or two books, and be prepared to change the terms later on.

Well, part of the issue is that I don't think it's reasonable to buy books I can borrow from the library or tea that has extra marketing, except the amounts involved are so trivial, my brothers would make fun of me for even thinking twice about them.

Remember, let the market determine the fair rate! ;-)

OMG, you know exactly what to say to get me to do things. That's so scary.

[jadia]

This is because I am EVIL. And awesome. Yeah! :-)