In the Rearview {TABLE 31}
Summary: { table} Jack's hurting himself and has to choose between Zack and the fans.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sure
Was making Zack happy better than keeping the fans and Alex happy?
Zack wasn't forcing Jack to eat and Jack noticed it. Even if the food wouldn't be there for long, he'd eat it if it made Zack happier.
Sighing softly, Jack stole a fry from Zack's plate & popped it in his mouth nonchalantly. Zack didn't react, so Jack repeated the actions. Steal, eat, watch. And again. Zack wasn't even looking at him. His eyes were locked on his own lap.
"Ducky, do you even know that I'm here?" Jack whispered in a needy voice, using a childhood nickname.
"Of course, I know you're here," he replied quietly.
"Do you care that I'm eating?" Jack asked in a quieter voice.
"Not particularly," Zack replied flatly. This surprised Jack. It felt like Zack had just punched him in the stomach.
"You don't," he deadpanned. Zack shook his head ever so slightly, a careless grimace crossing his lips. "W-why?" Jack asked cautiously. He didn't need to ask though. He knew why Zack didn't care. He knew that Zack knew.
"Maybe if I knew you weren't purging it all later I'd care," Zack said disappointedly. He stood up, practically brushing Jack off of him, and walked away silently. Jack felt like hell. He couldn't help his purging. If he wasn't super skinny the fans would hate him. Alex would hate him. He'd never hear the end of it. Jack loved how every fan girl, guy, or whatever mentioned how much they loved his skinny body. He loved hearing that he was hot, perfect, beautiful. It didn't count if it came from Zack. Of course, Zack thinks so. He loves Jack and Jack only wants the fan's approval. Rian pried himself off the couch and sat across from Jack. His encounter with Zack had been so quiet Rian hadn't heard.
"You guys okay?" Rian asked softly. Jack shrugged, pushing Zack's food away from him.
"Zack or the fans?" Jack asked seriously, setting intense eyes on his shorter friend. Rian shrugged in return
"Neither. . . both. Why am I choosing?" Jack shrugged again.
"Zack means the world to me. He knows that. You know that. He hates that I try to look good for the fans and I don't know what to do," Jack admitted.
"Then you, my friend, need to decide - Zack or the fans - not me," Rian said truthfully.
"Can't you decide for me?" Jack whined hopefully. Rian smiled and shook his head.
"Sorry, Jacky; This one's all you." Jack sighed as Rian got up and replaced himself in front of the TV. He knew who he'd pick any day.
"You know I'll pick Zack," he called over. Rian shrugged.
"You should tell Zack that, and then stop." Jack knew Rian was right. He'd pick Zack any and every day. He just didn't want that day to be today.
"I will. Tomorrow," Jack mumbled as he passed Rian on his way to the bathroom.
-!-
It's the next day and, as much as Jack doesn't want to, he's decided to quit. For Zack. He just has to tell him.
"Jack, just do it," Rian encouraged. Jack sighed and pulled out his phone. He sent Zack a message to meet him behind the bus; he wanted to talk.
"I guess I'll be going then," Jack muttered.
"Hey, you love Zack; more than fans, more than me. Tell him," Jack nodded solemnly and trudged off the bus and behind it. Zack was already there.
"So, I got your message," he muttered, toeing the ground with his sneaker. Jack took a deep, calming breath. He talks to Zack everyday but the emptiness of their conversations makes it feel like that haven't spoken face to face in ages.
"Zack, you know if anyone asked, I'd pick you. No matter who or what you were up against. I'd pick you," Jack said, hoping Zack did, in fact, know this. However, the surprised, loving look that his boyfriend held told him he didn't.
"Jack, I- I'd pick you too," he promised. Jack nodded softly. He knew Zack would choose him.
"I'll quit. If you'll be happy again, I'll quit." Zack nodded, a hopeful smile on his lips.
"T-thank you, Jack," Zack choked out. Jack couldn't stand it anymore. He rushed to Zack and wrapped an arm around the shorter boys neck.
"I-I love you, Zachary," He whispered in Zack's ear, sliding the other arm around his boyfriends waist. Zack gripped onto him tightly.
"I love you too, Jack," Zack breathed.
"Oops, sorry guys," Alex muttered, looking up from his phone. Zack pulled away slightly, looking up expectantly at Jack.
"A- Alex, wait," Jack called, keeping a tight arm around Zack's shoulders.
"What's up, Jacko?" Jack cringed at the name. He really hated it.
"I- I'm not anymore," he said bravely, then realized his sentence didn't make sense. "T-the purging. I q- quit," He stuttered. Alex nodded slowly, looking from Jack to Zack.
"Alright," he mumbled, walking off with all attention on the cellular device in hand.
"Thanks, Jack, again," Zack whispered. Jack smiled and pulled Zack towards him.
"You still have to make me eat," Jack said in a small voice.
"Always," Zack smiled against Jack's chest. Jack decided he didn't mind giving this up if Zack would be happy again. So, was making Zack happy better than keeping the fans and Alex happy? Yea, it really fucking was.
--
Inspired somewhat by this
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sure
Was making Zack happy better than keeping the fans and Alex happy?
Zack wasn't forcing Jack to eat and Jack noticed it. Even if the food wouldn't be there for long, he'd eat it if it made Zack happier.
Sighing softly, Jack stole a fry from Zack's plate & popped it in his mouth nonchalantly. Zack didn't react, so Jack repeated the actions. Steal, eat, watch. And again. Zack wasn't even looking at him. His eyes were locked on his own lap.
"Ducky, do you even know that I'm here?" Jack whispered in a needy voice, using a childhood nickname.
"Of course, I know you're here," he replied quietly.
"Do you care that I'm eating?" Jack asked in a quieter voice.
"Not particularly," Zack replied flatly. This surprised Jack. It felt like Zack had just punched him in the stomach.
"You don't," he deadpanned. Zack shook his head ever so slightly, a careless grimace crossing his lips. "W-why?" Jack asked cautiously. He didn't need to ask though. He knew why Zack didn't care. He knew that Zack knew.
"Maybe if I knew you weren't purging it all later I'd care," Zack said disappointedly. He stood up, practically brushing Jack off of him, and walked away silently. Jack felt like hell. He couldn't help his purging. If he wasn't super skinny the fans would hate him. Alex would hate him. He'd never hear the end of it. Jack loved how every fan girl, guy, or whatever mentioned how much they loved his skinny body. He loved hearing that he was hot, perfect, beautiful. It didn't count if it came from Zack. Of course, Zack thinks so. He loves Jack and Jack only wants the fan's approval. Rian pried himself off the couch and sat across from Jack. His encounter with Zack had been so quiet Rian hadn't heard.
"You guys okay?" Rian asked softly. Jack shrugged, pushing Zack's food away from him.
"Zack or the fans?" Jack asked seriously, setting intense eyes on his shorter friend. Rian shrugged in return
"Neither. . . both. Why am I choosing?" Jack shrugged again.
"Zack means the world to me. He knows that. You know that. He hates that I try to look good for the fans and I don't know what to do," Jack admitted.
"Then you, my friend, need to decide - Zack or the fans - not me," Rian said truthfully.
"Can't you decide for me?" Jack whined hopefully. Rian smiled and shook his head.
"Sorry, Jacky; This one's all you." Jack sighed as Rian got up and replaced himself in front of the TV. He knew who he'd pick any day.
"You know I'll pick Zack," he called over. Rian shrugged.
"You should tell Zack that, and then stop." Jack knew Rian was right. He'd pick Zack any and every day. He just didn't want that day to be today.
"I will. Tomorrow," Jack mumbled as he passed Rian on his way to the bathroom.
-!-
It's the next day and, as much as Jack doesn't want to, he's decided to quit. For Zack. He just has to tell him.
"Jack, just do it," Rian encouraged. Jack sighed and pulled out his phone. He sent Zack a message to meet him behind the bus; he wanted to talk.
"I guess I'll be going then," Jack muttered.
"Hey, you love Zack; more than fans, more than me. Tell him," Jack nodded solemnly and trudged off the bus and behind it. Zack was already there.
"So, I got your message," he muttered, toeing the ground with his sneaker. Jack took a deep, calming breath. He talks to Zack everyday but the emptiness of their conversations makes it feel like that haven't spoken face to face in ages.
"Zack, you know if anyone asked, I'd pick you. No matter who or what you were up against. I'd pick you," Jack said, hoping Zack did, in fact, know this. However, the surprised, loving look that his boyfriend held told him he didn't.
"Jack, I- I'd pick you too," he promised. Jack nodded softly. He knew Zack would choose him.
"I'll quit. If you'll be happy again, I'll quit." Zack nodded, a hopeful smile on his lips.
"T-thank you, Jack," Zack choked out. Jack couldn't stand it anymore. He rushed to Zack and wrapped an arm around the shorter boys neck.
"I-I love you, Zachary," He whispered in Zack's ear, sliding the other arm around his boyfriends waist. Zack gripped onto him tightly.
"I love you too, Jack," Zack breathed.
"Oops, sorry guys," Alex muttered, looking up from his phone. Zack pulled away slightly, looking up expectantly at Jack.
"A- Alex, wait," Jack called, keeping a tight arm around Zack's shoulders.
"What's up, Jacko?" Jack cringed at the name. He really hated it.
"I- I'm not anymore," he said bravely, then realized his sentence didn't make sense. "T-the purging. I q- quit," He stuttered. Alex nodded slowly, looking from Jack to Zack.
"Alright," he mumbled, walking off with all attention on the cellular device in hand.
"Thanks, Jack, again," Zack whispered. Jack smiled and pulled Zack towards him.
"You still have to make me eat," Jack said in a small voice.
"Always," Zack smiled against Jack's chest. Jack decided he didn't mind giving this up if Zack would be happy again. So, was making Zack happy better than keeping the fans and Alex happy? Yea, it really fucking was.
--
Inspired somewhat by this
