Somebody's Me {TABLE 12}
Summary: Brendon loves/likes Ryan, but Ryan's oblivious { table}
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sure
Ryan exited the stage breathlessly. The show had been a success, they usually are.
"You did great, Bren," Ryan said as he did after every show.
"Yea, you didn't fuck up too bad yourself," Brendon replied, grinning at Ryan as he mopped the sweat from his face.
"Showers, yea?" Ryan raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Brendon knew he was only kidding. He sighed and told himself to just tell Ryan.
"Hey, Ryan," Brendon called, but Ryan didn't hear him and kept on walking. Brendon's entire mood plummeted because he thought Ryan was ignoring him. Ryan had excellent hearing, after all.
"Brenny! Guess what!"
"What what what?!" Brendon replied instantly, dropping his sidekick on the couch to turn his attention to Ryan.
"Alex's coming to the next show," he grinned. Brendon's shoulders drooped & his smile faltered, but Ryan didn't notice.
"That's great," Brendon forced out, falling back into the couch and snagging up his phone.
"Why aren't you excited?!" Brendon looked up at Ryan with wide, curious eyes.
"He's your friend," Brendon said simply before turning his attention back to the side kick. He texted Pete, as he always did when Ryan didn't notice. Ryan didn't hear Brendon’s answer anyway. He had gone on to tell Jon and Spencer about their guest at the next stop.
"Somebody likes you," Brendon sang, hooking his arm around Ryan's neck and telling himself that he was not leaving this boys side until he told him.
"No shit?" Ryan slurred. Brendon shook his head, and then nodded because he wasn't sure how to answer that. "Who is it?"
Only Brendon, also as intoxicated as Ryan was at the moment, could understand drunk, slurry Ryan. "It's a secret," he stage-whispered.
"You tell me can-" Brendon shook his head, knowing, even in his confused state, that Ryan would likely not remember this tomorrow. "I'm going to find Alex. It's him, isn't it?" Ryan grinned and detached himself from Brendon.
"Ryan!" he called just as the boy bounced away. Of course, he didn't notice. Or he was ignoring Brendon. Again.
Brendon grabbed his phone from the fridge - it always seemed to end up there - and went to bed, texting Pete as he stumbled.
You've got to tell him, B.
I can't. You don't even know.Look what happened when I told Patrick.
That's different. Patrick loves you.Ryan loves you.
Bullshit.Tell him.
I've tried. He doesn't notice.Maybe you're not trying hard enough?
I can't do it.You could.
Good night, Pete.
Tonight, Brendon decides, he's completely ignoring Ryan; totally and fully not even going to talk to him after the show, not before it, and definitely not during it. Tonight is detox, or something. Brendon doesn't really know, but he does know he needs a bit of non-Ryan time.
The entire night Brendon ignores Ryan and Ryan doesn't fucking notice. He doesn't say a word when Brendon doesn't kiss him on stage, he didn't blink an eye when Brendon didn't reply to his after-show comment, and he sure as hell did not notice Brendon. He never noticed.
Didn't work.You didn't try hard enough.
It's not that mother fucking hard to ignore someone, Pete!
Quit, Bren. You're not mad at me.
You're plan didn't work.It was an idea, not a plan.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.You know what you need to do?
Just tell me. No guessing games right now.You need to lock him in the back room and just talk to him.
Sounds like a hostage situation.It could work.
Unless he doesn't notice.He wouldn't notice being locked in a room with you?
He doesn't notice me any other time.
Brendon's sort of going to take Pete's advice. He's going to make Ryan listen to him two times, actually; once to ask him to go eat with him and the second time whilst they're eating. He'll tell him the second time.
"Ryan!" Brendon shouts even though Ryan's sitting right across from him.
"Yea?
"Let's go get some dinner tonight."
"Okay?"
"Just me and you," Brendon clarifies. Jon's eyes shoot up in question. Spencer's high and hasn't noticed a thing.
Ryan hesitates, "Okay." Brendon nods more to himself than Ryan and sits back, telling Pete what just happened.
"I need a drink," Ryan sighs, taking a seat across from Brendon at the small table. Brendon doesn't say anything and lets Ryan order two glasses of wine. He, kind of, surprised this place has wine. It isn't exactly fancy or anything; just a simple diner.
Brendon watches Ryan unfold his napkin, lay out the silverware, and set the napkin in his lap. Ryan looks to Brendon, waiting for him to do the same. He does.
"So, what's this about?" Ryan asks.
"What?" Brendon had been focused on the way Ryan was tapping his fingers on the table.
"Dinner, just us, out of the blue; what's up?"
"I- Uh, I needed to talk to you." Only Ryan doesn't hear him because the waitress is back and all his attention is on her, ordering their food. According to Ryan, they're sharing a plate. Brendon doesn't argue; doesn't think he could, even if he wanted to. Ryan probably wouldn't even notice
"Wine's on the way," Ryan informed Brendon as the waitress sauntered away. Brendon nods a bit to show he heard him. "You okay?" Ryan asks. The way he asks sounds like he's doing so out of obligation or politeness, not because he's Brendon's best friend and Brendon hates it. He wants Ryan to care.
"No," he mumbles, but, of course, Ryan doesn't notice. He's looking around the restaurant. Brendon slides his phone out and commences typing away to Pete.
"You're texting?" Ryan asks a bit incredulously.
"Not anymore," Brendon mumbles, slipping his phone back into his pocket. Brendon's kind of close to tears now. Ryan doesn't notice when Brendon needs to talk to him, but when he changes his focus to something else for two minutes, he gets pissed off.
"I can't believe this," Ryan huffs, tossing his napkin on the table and standing, leaving the diner.
Brendon knows if he doesn't do it now he won't. Ever.
He gets up and runs outside after Ryan, calling his name.
Ryan turns and snaps, "What Brendon?!" Brendon stopped a few feet behind Ryan. He finally noticed. Brendon narrowed his eyes at this realization and rushed forward to stand right in front of the singer.
"I like you," he said harshly. "Can't you tell. . . Don't you see how much- Ryan?" Brendon's voice broke on his friends’ name. Ryan didn't say anything. He couldn't. "All that teasing and suggesting you do; it doesn't," Brendon paused to shove Ryan ineffectively, "fucking help!" Brendon shouted.
The tears welling in Brendon's eyes were all too obvious to Ryan. The way his cheeks flushed when he was angry, how his balled up fist clenched and unclenched, and the noise his foot made as he stamped it were all obvious to Ryan. Brendon's pride consumed him before Ryan could speak, if he was planning to at all. Brendon turned on his heel and walked away; head bent low, tears splashing to the ground, hands wrapped around his sides, and hair falling in his face.
Ryan watched him go.
Brendon had taken refuge in his bunk immediately and he had no plans to leave it until their next show, then he'd be right back here. He didn't know how long he planned to stay in the bunk. Forever, he supposed. Then, he decided he'd just stay until Ryan was gone, for good; or until he was over Ryan. He thinks the former will happen first, though, which means he'll be in that bunk a long time. Brendon thinks he could get Jon to bring him food and he always had his phone, so he could call when he needed anything. His phone could die though. The outlet with his charger required getting out of the bed. Brendon shut his phone off to save the battery. He was actually halfway to falling asleep when he felt someone crawl into the bunk, pressing up against his back. It was too skinny to be Jon or Spencer and too tall to be Pete. Deep down inside Brendon hoped it was Ryan, but a more defensive part of his mind told him that it was someone else, anyone else.
"I. . . am so sorry, Bren." It was, of course, Ryan. "I blew you off so many times and I- I shouldn't have. I was only doing it because. . . Because I felt the same way and I was- I guess I was afraid of it or. . Something. And I'm j- just so s- sorry, Bren." Brendon knew that Ryan was crying silent tears because Ryan's voice grew higher and his stuttering worsened.
Brendon sighed softly and wiggled a bit to roll over & face Ryan. "Stop apologizing. It's making me feel stupid," he mumbled.
Ryan chuckled and Brendon smiled as he felt Ryan's chest rumble.
"I love you, Bren," Ryan breath, his voice as hesitant and nervous as ever.
"I love you too, Ry," Brendon sighed, finally falling asleep.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sure
Ryan exited the stage breathlessly. The show had been a success, they usually are.
"You did great, Bren," Ryan said as he did after every show.
"Yea, you didn't fuck up too bad yourself," Brendon replied, grinning at Ryan as he mopped the sweat from his face.
"Showers, yea?" Ryan raised his eyebrows suggestively, but Brendon knew he was only kidding. He sighed and told himself to just tell Ryan.
"Hey, Ryan," Brendon called, but Ryan didn't hear him and kept on walking. Brendon's entire mood plummeted because he thought Ryan was ignoring him. Ryan had excellent hearing, after all.
"Brenny! Guess what!"
"What what what?!" Brendon replied instantly, dropping his sidekick on the couch to turn his attention to Ryan.
"Alex's coming to the next show," he grinned. Brendon's shoulders drooped & his smile faltered, but Ryan didn't notice.
"That's great," Brendon forced out, falling back into the couch and snagging up his phone.
"Why aren't you excited?!" Brendon looked up at Ryan with wide, curious eyes.
"He's your friend," Brendon said simply before turning his attention back to the side kick. He texted Pete, as he always did when Ryan didn't notice. Ryan didn't hear Brendon’s answer anyway. He had gone on to tell Jon and Spencer about their guest at the next stop.
"Somebody likes you," Brendon sang, hooking his arm around Ryan's neck and telling himself that he was not leaving this boys side until he told him.
"No shit?" Ryan slurred. Brendon shook his head, and then nodded because he wasn't sure how to answer that. "Who is it?"
Only Brendon, also as intoxicated as Ryan was at the moment, could understand drunk, slurry Ryan. "It's a secret," he stage-whispered.
"You tell me can-" Brendon shook his head, knowing, even in his confused state, that Ryan would likely not remember this tomorrow. "I'm going to find Alex. It's him, isn't it?" Ryan grinned and detached himself from Brendon.
"Ryan!" he called just as the boy bounced away. Of course, he didn't notice. Or he was ignoring Brendon. Again.
Brendon grabbed his phone from the fridge - it always seemed to end up there - and went to bed, texting Pete as he stumbled.
You've got to tell him, B.
I can't. You don't even know.Look what happened when I told Patrick.
That's different. Patrick loves you.Ryan loves you.
Bullshit.Tell him.
I've tried. He doesn't notice.Maybe you're not trying hard enough?
I can't do it.You could.
Good night, Pete.
Tonight, Brendon decides, he's completely ignoring Ryan; totally and fully not even going to talk to him after the show, not before it, and definitely not during it. Tonight is detox, or something. Brendon doesn't really know, but he does know he needs a bit of non-Ryan time.
The entire night Brendon ignores Ryan and Ryan doesn't fucking notice. He doesn't say a word when Brendon doesn't kiss him on stage, he didn't blink an eye when Brendon didn't reply to his after-show comment, and he sure as hell did not notice Brendon. He never noticed.
Didn't work.You didn't try hard enough.
It's not that mother fucking hard to ignore someone, Pete!
Quit, Bren. You're not mad at me.
You're plan didn't work.It was an idea, not a plan.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.You know what you need to do?
Just tell me. No guessing games right now.You need to lock him in the back room and just talk to him.
Sounds like a hostage situation.It could work.
Unless he doesn't notice.He wouldn't notice being locked in a room with you?
He doesn't notice me any other time.
Brendon's sort of going to take Pete's advice. He's going to make Ryan listen to him two times, actually; once to ask him to go eat with him and the second time whilst they're eating. He'll tell him the second time.
"Ryan!" Brendon shouts even though Ryan's sitting right across from him.
"Yea?
"Let's go get some dinner tonight."
"Okay?"
"Just me and you," Brendon clarifies. Jon's eyes shoot up in question. Spencer's high and hasn't noticed a thing.
Ryan hesitates, "Okay." Brendon nods more to himself than Ryan and sits back, telling Pete what just happened.
"I need a drink," Ryan sighs, taking a seat across from Brendon at the small table. Brendon doesn't say anything and lets Ryan order two glasses of wine. He, kind of, surprised this place has wine. It isn't exactly fancy or anything; just a simple diner.
Brendon watches Ryan unfold his napkin, lay out the silverware, and set the napkin in his lap. Ryan looks to Brendon, waiting for him to do the same. He does.
"So, what's this about?" Ryan asks.
"What?" Brendon had been focused on the way Ryan was tapping his fingers on the table.
"Dinner, just us, out of the blue; what's up?"
"I- Uh, I needed to talk to you." Only Ryan doesn't hear him because the waitress is back and all his attention is on her, ordering their food. According to Ryan, they're sharing a plate. Brendon doesn't argue; doesn't think he could, even if he wanted to. Ryan probably wouldn't even notice
"Wine's on the way," Ryan informed Brendon as the waitress sauntered away. Brendon nods a bit to show he heard him. "You okay?" Ryan asks. The way he asks sounds like he's doing so out of obligation or politeness, not because he's Brendon's best friend and Brendon hates it. He wants Ryan to care.
"No," he mumbles, but, of course, Ryan doesn't notice. He's looking around the restaurant. Brendon slides his phone out and commences typing away to Pete.
"You're texting?" Ryan asks a bit incredulously.
"Not anymore," Brendon mumbles, slipping his phone back into his pocket. Brendon's kind of close to tears now. Ryan doesn't notice when Brendon needs to talk to him, but when he changes his focus to something else for two minutes, he gets pissed off.
"I can't believe this," Ryan huffs, tossing his napkin on the table and standing, leaving the diner.
Brendon knows if he doesn't do it now he won't. Ever.
He gets up and runs outside after Ryan, calling his name.
Ryan turns and snaps, "What Brendon?!" Brendon stopped a few feet behind Ryan. He finally noticed. Brendon narrowed his eyes at this realization and rushed forward to stand right in front of the singer.
"I like you," he said harshly. "Can't you tell. . . Don't you see how much- Ryan?" Brendon's voice broke on his friends’ name. Ryan didn't say anything. He couldn't. "All that teasing and suggesting you do; it doesn't," Brendon paused to shove Ryan ineffectively, "fucking help!" Brendon shouted.
The tears welling in Brendon's eyes were all too obvious to Ryan. The way his cheeks flushed when he was angry, how his balled up fist clenched and unclenched, and the noise his foot made as he stamped it were all obvious to Ryan. Brendon's pride consumed him before Ryan could speak, if he was planning to at all. Brendon turned on his heel and walked away; head bent low, tears splashing to the ground, hands wrapped around his sides, and hair falling in his face.
Ryan watched him go.
Brendon had taken refuge in his bunk immediately and he had no plans to leave it until their next show, then he'd be right back here. He didn't know how long he planned to stay in the bunk. Forever, he supposed. Then, he decided he'd just stay until Ryan was gone, for good; or until he was over Ryan. He thinks the former will happen first, though, which means he'll be in that bunk a long time. Brendon thinks he could get Jon to bring him food and he always had his phone, so he could call when he needed anything. His phone could die though. The outlet with his charger required getting out of the bed. Brendon shut his phone off to save the battery. He was actually halfway to falling asleep when he felt someone crawl into the bunk, pressing up against his back. It was too skinny to be Jon or Spencer and too tall to be Pete. Deep down inside Brendon hoped it was Ryan, but a more defensive part of his mind told him that it was someone else, anyone else.
"I. . . am so sorry, Bren." It was, of course, Ryan. "I blew you off so many times and I- I shouldn't have. I was only doing it because. . . Because I felt the same way and I was- I guess I was afraid of it or. . Something. And I'm j- just so s- sorry, Bren." Brendon knew that Ryan was crying silent tears because Ryan's voice grew higher and his stuttering worsened.
Brendon sighed softly and wiggled a bit to roll over & face Ryan. "Stop apologizing. It's making me feel stupid," he mumbled.
Ryan chuckled and Brendon smiled as he felt Ryan's chest rumble.
"I love you, Bren," Ryan breath, his voice as hesitant and nervous as ever.
"I love you too, Ry," Brendon sighed, finally falling asleep.