you can't take the sky from me, eleven
Title: you can't take the sky from me (11/?)
Author: andromeda3116/cupid-painted-blind
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble from Firefly/A:tLA; in this chapter, we have hints as to Jayne/Toph, Suki/Kaylee, Zuko/Sokka if you want to see it, Zuko/Katara
Summary: The Gaang find themselves in an unfamiliar world with unfamiliar technology, and must rely on the only kindness they can find. Unfortunately, kindness appears to be an endangered species in this 'Verse. x-over with Firefly/Serenity, post-movie, Wash lives!
Chapter Summary: In with Zuko and Sokka learn what a Companion actually does, Sokka is high on caffeine, Jayne and Toph are drunk, and Mal wants to commit mass murder.
A/N: This is a shameless breather chapter. To be honest, I wanted it to be more serious than it turned out, but I was in the mood to write humor and things will get dark enough later on that I don't mind having a purely comedic chapter. Also, I'm sorry this took so long! I, um, got distracted. (Also, not that it's especially difficult, but a point to whoever gets the Water of Life thing.)
one... nine. ten. eleven. twelve.
episode three
into the black
chapter two:
(terrifying space monkeys)
Inara stared blankly at the two men standing awkwardly in her shuttle, trying to comprehend what Sokka was saying. It had something to do with leather and sewing and Katara, but she honestly couldn't make any sense of his desperate mumbling.
"I'm... confused," she started uncertainly. "You want me to... teach you how to sew?"
"Leather," Sokka replied. "Sew leather."
"Oh," she said, and then shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't. I don't... sew." It was the truth -- she was a performer and a Companion, not a seamstress, and although she was reasonably certain that, if forced to do so, she could probably mend a hole in a robe or something to that effect, she had never actually picked up a needle and thread. It just wasn't what Companions did. The Guild employed seamstresses and tailors to do that sort of work, the same way they employed maids and cooks to do all the menial work that went along with the Companion lifestyle.
"But you're a -- a woman," Sokka spluttered, and then winced as Zuko glared at him. "I mean, you're so... womanly and, and... what do you mean, you can't sew?" he whimpered.
She suppressed a laugh at his expense. "It's not something I ever learned to do, I'm afraid."
"Well, what do you do?" Sokka cried desperately, and she bit back the urge to give him a really nasty reply. He was stressed out because of Suki's injury, and no one was overly excited at the prospect of stopping on St. Albans, nor about spending the next three weeks or so floating out in space without anyone or anything around. He wasn't intentionally being a... well, being more like Mal than anyone really ought to be.
"I'm a Companion, Sokka, not a tailor."
"What's a Companion, then?" he replied, shoulders slumping.
"It's all right," Zuko said, cutting into the conversation. "I'm sure someone knows how. Do you know anyone who might, Lady Inara?" he asked, as though determined to make up for Sokka's disrespect by being extra-respectful.
"Try asking River," she offered. "She might know, and if she doesn't, then I think Wash does."
"No," Sokka said abruptly, "this is a real question. What is a Companion?"
Zuko blinked at him several times in quick succession. "I think Sokka needs some sleep," he said pointedly. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Lady Inara. Come on, let's go find River," he added through clenched teeth, grabbing Sokka by the arm and trying to drag him out of the shuttle.
"I really want to -- "
"Shut up."
"It's very similar to a Geisha," Inara said, sighing.
"What's a Geisha?" Sokka whispered to Zuko, who looked like he was deeply considering beating his head against a wall in frustration. Inara decided that now might be a good time for a pot of tea, so she took Zuko and Sokka by the shoulders and led them to the bench, preparing the pot -- green tea of some sort would be ideal, since both she and Zuko could probably use something calming.
"Geisha are performers," she explained, measuring out a spoonful of tea leaves. "The word geisha means artist, in fact. My job is to act as a... well, a companion to men. I entertain, I attend public functions, I often act as a kind of therapist," she added, with a little smile. "However, the life of a Geisha in ancient times was marked by strict ritual, whereas a Companion's life is more fluid." She set the wire basket into the pot to steep, and folded her hands. "Does that make sense?"
"You're a..." Sokka started, strangely confused. She wondered if he had slept at any point in the past few days (doubtful). "You get paid to hang out with men?"
"More or less," she replied, and Zuko was overcome with a sudden coughing fit. She sighed; she should have expected at least one of them to read between the lines there, and with Sokka manic from apparent sleep deprivation, it fell to Zuko to pick up on the subtleties. Although she had a feeling that Zuko had already guessed at the nature of her work.
"You okay, there, buddy?" Sokka asked, pounding Zuko on the back several times (to which he received a glare that Mal would have been proud of), and then looked at her, eyes wide. Sleep deprivation, she thought, or he had found Kaylee's secret stash of alcohol. Or possibly both. "That's so crazy. Why would men pay you to just hang out with them? Don't they have friends of their own?"
She laughed. "Oh, usually. But as a Companion, I'm trained to understand high society and all of its rules and nuances," she replied, smiling. "To an unmarried, well-to-do man, it's often far easier -- and better for his standing -- to hire a Companion to accompany him than worry about finding, say, a date to a ball."
"So you just, like, go and dance with men at balls? That's the weirdest..." he trailed off, finally seeming to get it. "Oh. I." She could actually see Zuko mentally urging him to stop talking. "Wait, do you also have se -- "
"I think the tea is ready," Zuko said suddenly, cutting Sokka's question off and checking the teapot. "Yes, look, it's just right. We should have tea and then go talk to River. That sounds like a good plan. Doesn't it sound like a good plan, Sokka?"
She covered her mouth with one hand and snickered softly. Zuko had a tendency to be overly formal and stiff around her (and, she had noticed, everyone else), but when he was less concerned with what everyone else thought and was just being himself, he was endearingly awkward and adorable, like Wash when he was nervous. "The answer is yes, Sokka, sex is a part of my job," she answered, more to watch Zuko blush than to clear up Sokka's questions.
Sokka's jaw hung open blankly, and Zuko now seemed incapable of meeting her eyes (and was, she noted, turning a magnificent shade of red). She calmly poured the tea into three separate cups and handing them out. Zuko muttered a thank you but Sokka didn't seem to even notice. "So, you're a... a really high class prostitute?" Sokka asked bluntly, and Zuko choked on his tea.
"You should know," she replied evenly, "that calling a Companion a prostitute is a high insult."
Sokka turned white. "I'm sorry!" he cried. "I didn't know! I didn't mean anything by it! You're a really awesome prostit-- Companion! Companion!" he all-but shrieked, voice cracking. She smiled.
"I know you didn't know, Sokka. I'm not angry, really." She looked at Zuko, still spluttering and red-faced. "Are you all right, Zuko?"
"Yeah," he choked, "yeah, I'm great."
--
"How d'you feel?" Kaylee asked, leaning into Suki's room, where she was laying on her bed, tossing a ball up and catching it each time. It felt frustratingly like all the hours she'd spent in solitary confinement at the Boiling Rock, with nothing but her mind and a loose rock for company.
"Kinda sleepy still," she replied, and then growled, "and bored. Simon keeps telling me to take it slow and only get up and walk around if I really need to, but, ugh, there's nothing to do in this room."
"We-e-ell," Kaylee said, tapping the door frame. "We're 'bout an hour outta St. Albans, and Zoe n' I were plannin' to go visit a friend who's buried there, and then pick up some supplies. You can come along if you like? I'm sure Simon'll let you go for that. I know it's real cold out there, but it's more interestin' than sittin' in here, right?"
Suki bolted up, and then winced as her blood pressure adjusted itself accordingly. "I am all over that. It's way better than sitting around."
Kaylee grinned, helping Suki unsteadily to her feet. Simon had said that if she took care of herself now, she shouldn't have any long-term effects from the gunshot wound, but laying in bed all day was getting about fifteen million shades of really really old and she was starting to think that she would be quite all right with walking with a limp for the rest of her life, if it meant she could get out of her freaking bed.
"You can borrow one of my coats," Kaylee said, linking arms with her to help keep her steady on her leg. "It's winter where we're landing, which means it's gonna be extra-extra-cold. That's why Cap'n ain't gettin' off," she added, snickering. "He doesn't like cold weather."
Suki was working on a response to that, when they turned a corner and ran straight into Wash, carrying a large bucket and wearing an expression of both amusement and horror. "Shouldn't you be at the helm?" she asked, startled, and he laughed. It sounded desperate.
"I'm working on that. Our resident blind maniac got into your alcohol reserves, Kaylee," he said, and indicated to the bucket.
Kaylee sighed, but didn't look too mad. "Oh, well. So she's a little tipsy, what's so bad about that?"
"Jayne also got into the alcohol reserves," Wash explained. "And... let's just say that the dining room is a war zone."
Suki and Kaylee looked at each other for a single moment, and then ran (as well as they could, with Suki's leg) to the dining room, followed by Wash. Once there, Suki had to agree that "war zone" was probably the best description of the place. Jayne had apparently seen fit to show Toph all of his weapons, which were spread out in various states of taken-apart and loaded and unloaded, all over the room. Zoe was glaring at Jayne with such ferocity that Suki was frankly surprised his hat wasn't on fire. Toph was steadily passing the good part of being drunk and was wobbling uncertainly behind Zoe, like she was about to throw up all over the other woman -- this, Suki figured, was the reason for the bucket in Wash's hand.
"I did nothin' wrong," Jayne slurred.
"You got her drunk," Zoe snapped.
"So?"
Toph started giggling at this, which turned abruptly into hiccuping, which turned into Wash shoving Zoe out of the way and just barely getting the bucket to her in time. Suki recoiled, wincing, as Toph whimpered against the bucket.
"She isn't even eighteen yet," Zoe hissed. "And I seem to remember telling you that you are not allowed to be alone with her?"
"You ain't her mother," Jayne replied airily, taking a swig from a bottle of amber-colored liquid.
"Hey!" Kaylee cried, jumping forward and snatching the bottle from Jayne. "That's my special!"
Jayne swallowed hard and peered at her. "Tastes like piss."
"That's 'cause it ain't ready yet," Kaylee replied, huffing, and inspected the bottle. "Oh! Now I gotta start all over."
Suki limped over to Wash and Toph, figuring that it would be safer to stay out of the brewing storm between Kaylee, Zoe, and Jayne, and that she would be of more use comforting Toph in her drunkenness. "How much did she have?" she asked, sitting awkwardly on the other side of Toph, who was sitting with her legs outstretched, the bucket placed firmly between her knees, and leaning her forehead on its rim. Wash looked up from rubbing her back gently and winced.
"I'm not sure. Too much for someone of her size, that I can tell you." He made a face. "I've gotta get to the helm so we can start with the landing. Can you clean up some in here before the Cap'n comes in and sees the mess? Zoe'll take care of Toph."
"Will she?" Suki asked uncertainly, glancing at the tall woman, who was all-but radiating fury at the thoroughly plastered Jayne. Wash nodded.
"Yeah. She'll probably be sick for a bit longer, then fall asleep. Zoe said she can sleep in our bed while we're planetside," he added, waving a hand. "It's warmer and darker than the passenger dorms."
"Okay," Suki replied, standing. "Where do all the guns go?" she asked suddenly, as Wash was walking out the door.
"They're all Jayne's," Zoe replied for him without glancing away from Jayne. "So let him take care of them." Kaylee gave her a significant look, and then started helping her clean up the cups and bottles strewn about the dining room.
Just as they were almost through cleaning up (Kaylee had whined about a few of the bottles that had apparently been new recipes she'd been eager to try), Mal and -- Aang? walked in from the direction of the cargo bay. Both of them stopped dead in their tracks.
"Uh," Aang said blankly. "Toph?"
"Jayne," Mal said darkly. Jayne had the good sense to look sheepish.
"In my defense -- " he started, but Zoe cut him off.
"He don't have an excuse," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "I say we chuck him in the cargo bay and leave him there."
"I don't think we can get him there," Kaylee said, and Mal turned to her suddenly. Kaylee gasped. "Oops! I need to be in the engine room!"
"Did my whole crew just lose their gorram minds?" Mal hissed, and Aang glanced at him.
"I'll take care of Toph!" he offered. "And help Suki clean up! You don't need Jayne in the landing, so we can just leave him where he is, right? And then, um, it'll all work out!" He winced.
"Help Suki," Zoe said shortly, kneeling down at Toph's prone form. "She's already out. I'll take care of her."
"How are we supposed to deal with these two captives if we ain't got her?" Mal asked, apparently just this side of violently angry. Jayne blinked.
"What'd ya need her for?"
"I'm gonna kill him," Mal growled. Zoe, hoisting the unconscious Toph onto her back, glanced at Jayne.
"Can I help, sir?"
Suki glanced at Aang. "I think we can take care of the captives well enough on our own," she said, as brightly as possible. "Sure, all that rock is heavy, but we can, um, roll them through the halls."
Jayne began laughing at this, and even Mal snorted. "Roll 'em through the halls?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"But we can't get the rock off them," Aang whimpered. "I wish I could still earthbend here," he grumbled. Suki paused; she hadn't been aware that taking the rock off of their captives had ever been in the plan. A quick glance at Mal confirmed that no, that was not part of the plan.
"We'll, um, figure something out," Suki replied uncertainly. "Worst comes to worst, we can always... chisel them."
Mal buried his face in his hands and made a sound not entirely unlike a dying animal. Both Suki and Aang winced. Jayne continued to snicker, although it was starting to sound tired, and kept muttering about chiseling and rolling Alliance officers through the halls, and Suki wondered if it might not be a good idea to just hit him across the head and knock him out entirely.
Luckily, the alcohol took over after a few more minutes, leaving Suki, Aang, and a very frustrated Mal (face still buried in his hands) standing awkwardly in the dining room with a snoring, unconscious Jayne.
Suki was really beginning to regret leaving her bed.
--
"Okay, so, Mal told me to deal with these guys," Aang said, the authority in his voice wavering a little as looked at the two glowering men encased in rock. "And, well, the plan was originally that Toph would, you know, take care of things, but she's, um, not feeling so great," he lied, wincing, and barreled on, "so it's up to us to figure out how to deal with this."
Aang looked at the assembled group -- a deeply confused and sleepy Simon, a downright morose Katara, a ferociously blushing Zuko, a thoroughly manic Sokka, and River, who, for the first time in probably as long as she'd been on Serenity, seemed to be the sanest person there. Yeah, he thought, there was no possible way this was going to end well. Or begin well. Or do anything except be a total disaster.
"How do we do that?" Simon mumbled, still struggling with the concept of wakefulness.
"Suki had a suggestion about rolling them down the halls," Aang suggested tentatively, and tried to ignore the downright homicidal glares he was receiving from the two rock-bound men. Maybe it was a good thing that Toph wasn't here to remove the rock from them; he had a sneaking suspicion that they would kill everyone onboard if given even the tiniest opportunity.
Sokka burst out laughing. "Roll them down the halls? That's the best idea ever!"
"He's been like this all day," Zuko muttered. "I think he's had too much coffee and not enough sleep."
"Hey, did you guys know that Inara -- " Sokka started, but Zuko hit him across the back of the head. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Sokka, will you just shut up?" Katara snapped, crossing her arms. "We have a serious conundrum here. Are they too heavy to carry?"
"Yes," River answered, half-hidden behind Simon. "Each weigh approximately four hundred and seventy-two pounds, including powered armor and rock."
"Powered armor?" Aang asked. "What is that?"
"It's... exactly what it sounds like," Simon replied, running a hand through his hair. "I would have thought they'd use it to break out of there, but I guess it malfunctioned?" He stifled a sharp yawn and shivered slightly in the cold air.
"We could ask," Sokka said, leaning forward, eyes wide like he was on cactus juice again, and poked the rock experimentally. "Hey, Alliance guys? What's up with the armor?" he called, far too loud for the corridor, and both Katara and Zuko buried their faced in their hands while both of their captives glared at him. "Huh. I guess it is broken, or they'd have just jumped out and killed me. I wish we could harvest it off their bodies or something, wouldn't that be awesome?"
"I am going to kill you," Katara grumbled.
"Will you stop antagonizing them?" Zuko hissed.
"Bigger issues!" Aang cried, wishing he had his staff to beat against the ground at the moment. "Katara, we've got a moon, can you waterbend them out to the cargo bay?"
"If I had enough water," she replied, sighing, "maybe."
For some reason, Zuko and Sokka gave each other guilty looks at this. "We can get you water," Zuko suggested. "There's pipes and things."
"And it's winter," Simon offered. "So there's, you know, snow."
"I feel like," Sokka said, hand on his chin, "and I could be wrong, but I feel like Mal won't like it if we create a river in the middle of his ship. I might be wrong, though!"
Katara glanced at Zuko while River giggled into Simon's shirt. "Can I kill him? I think it's justified."
"Once again," Aang said, through clenched teeth, "we have slightly bigger issues at hand." He was beginning to debate the merits of hitting Sokka upside the head and knocking him out for good. They were surprisingly many. (This thought was immediately followed by the realization that he had been spending way too much time around Toph.) "Maybe Katara can make an ice slide, and then... No," he mused, thinking, "that's no better than making a river through the ship."
"What about getting one of the gurneys from the cargo bay?" Simon offered. "The Captain uses those to haul crates in and out. They should work."
"Yeah!" Sokka cried, actually leaping and punching the air triumphantly, as though he'd come up with the idea. "We'll get one of those and -- "
"How will we get the gurney here?" Zuko asked, and Sokka's triumph froze on his face.
"Hmm," Simon replied, apparently totally unfazed by Sokka's caffeine high. "They're lighter than, ah... however heavy these men are," he said, crossing his arms. "A couple of us together should be able to carry one of them. It won't be easy," he added, shrugging, "but I think we can do it."
"Right," Sokka said, throwing an arm around Simon's shoulders. Simon blinked, and gave Sokka a deeply uneasy look. River, for no apparent reason, found this hysterical. "I nominate Doctor Muscles here, and Zuko, to be the carry-people, while Aang and Katara and River and I act as the cheering section."
"That's a great idea," Zuko replied dryly, "except that you're helping."
--
"Well," Zuko said, dropping Sokka's legs on the bed while Katara hauled his upper half onto the pillow, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming."
"It was pretty impressive how he just dropped," Katara said evenly, rolling her eyes. "I guess that's why Wash tried to dissuade him from drinking too much coffee?"
"Yeah, he mentioned that crashing from it would be nasty." Zuko sighed. "He's been stressing himself out."
"You're telling me," she replied, jerking the covers over her brother and glaring at him. "He thinks he's got to have everything under control."
"You're one to talk about control issues," he said calmly, giving her a sidelong glance. She made a face.
"I'm not the one who just went on a caffeine-fueled bender and then passed out in the middle of the cargo bay," she sniffed. "I swear, it's like Sokka's got a sixth sense for finding drinks that will make him act like a lunatic. First it was cactus juice, and then the Water of Life from the Northern Water Tribe, now coffee." She huffed, shaking her head.
"He'll be fine," Zuko said. "C'mon, let's get off the ship while we still can."
Author: andromeda3116/cupid-painted-blind
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble from Firefly/A:tLA; in this chapter, we have hints as to Jayne/Toph, Suki/Kaylee, Zuko/Sokka if you want to see it, Zuko/Katara
Summary: The Gaang find themselves in an unfamiliar world with unfamiliar technology, and must rely on the only kindness they can find. Unfortunately, kindness appears to be an endangered species in this 'Verse. x-over with Firefly/Serenity, post-movie, Wash lives!
Chapter Summary: In with Zuko and Sokka learn what a Companion actually does, Sokka is high on caffeine, Jayne and Toph are drunk, and Mal wants to commit mass murder.
A/N: This is a shameless breather chapter. To be honest, I wanted it to be more serious than it turned out, but I was in the mood to write humor and things will get dark enough later on that I don't mind having a purely comedic chapter. Also, I'm sorry this took so long! I, um, got distracted. (Also, not that it's especially difficult, but a point to whoever gets the Water of Life thing.)
one... nine. ten. eleven. twelve.
episode three
into the black
chapter two:
(terrifying space monkeys)
Inara stared blankly at the two men standing awkwardly in her shuttle, trying to comprehend what Sokka was saying. It had something to do with leather and sewing and Katara, but she honestly couldn't make any sense of his desperate mumbling.
"I'm... confused," she started uncertainly. "You want me to... teach you how to sew?"
"Leather," Sokka replied. "Sew leather."
"Oh," she said, and then shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't. I don't... sew." It was the truth -- she was a performer and a Companion, not a seamstress, and although she was reasonably certain that, if forced to do so, she could probably mend a hole in a robe or something to that effect, she had never actually picked up a needle and thread. It just wasn't what Companions did. The Guild employed seamstresses and tailors to do that sort of work, the same way they employed maids and cooks to do all the menial work that went along with the Companion lifestyle.
"But you're a -- a woman," Sokka spluttered, and then winced as Zuko glared at him. "I mean, you're so... womanly and, and... what do you mean, you can't sew?" he whimpered.
She suppressed a laugh at his expense. "It's not something I ever learned to do, I'm afraid."
"Well, what do you do?" Sokka cried desperately, and she bit back the urge to give him a really nasty reply. He was stressed out because of Suki's injury, and no one was overly excited at the prospect of stopping on St. Albans, nor about spending the next three weeks or so floating out in space without anyone or anything around. He wasn't intentionally being a... well, being more like Mal than anyone really ought to be.
"I'm a Companion, Sokka, not a tailor."
"What's a Companion, then?" he replied, shoulders slumping.
"It's all right," Zuko said, cutting into the conversation. "I'm sure someone knows how. Do you know anyone who might, Lady Inara?" he asked, as though determined to make up for Sokka's disrespect by being extra-respectful.
"Try asking River," she offered. "She might know, and if she doesn't, then I think Wash does."
"No," Sokka said abruptly, "this is a real question. What is a Companion?"
Zuko blinked at him several times in quick succession. "I think Sokka needs some sleep," he said pointedly. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Lady Inara. Come on, let's go find River," he added through clenched teeth, grabbing Sokka by the arm and trying to drag him out of the shuttle.
"I really want to -- "
"Shut up."
"It's very similar to a Geisha," Inara said, sighing.
"What's a Geisha?" Sokka whispered to Zuko, who looked like he was deeply considering beating his head against a wall in frustration. Inara decided that now might be a good time for a pot of tea, so she took Zuko and Sokka by the shoulders and led them to the bench, preparing the pot -- green tea of some sort would be ideal, since both she and Zuko could probably use something calming.
"Geisha are performers," she explained, measuring out a spoonful of tea leaves. "The word geisha means artist, in fact. My job is to act as a... well, a companion to men. I entertain, I attend public functions, I often act as a kind of therapist," she added, with a little smile. "However, the life of a Geisha in ancient times was marked by strict ritual, whereas a Companion's life is more fluid." She set the wire basket into the pot to steep, and folded her hands. "Does that make sense?"
"You're a..." Sokka started, strangely confused. She wondered if he had slept at any point in the past few days (doubtful). "You get paid to hang out with men?"
"More or less," she replied, and Zuko was overcome with a sudden coughing fit. She sighed; she should have expected at least one of them to read between the lines there, and with Sokka manic from apparent sleep deprivation, it fell to Zuko to pick up on the subtleties. Although she had a feeling that Zuko had already guessed at the nature of her work.
"You okay, there, buddy?" Sokka asked, pounding Zuko on the back several times (to which he received a glare that Mal would have been proud of), and then looked at her, eyes wide. Sleep deprivation, she thought, or he had found Kaylee's secret stash of alcohol. Or possibly both. "That's so crazy. Why would men pay you to just hang out with them? Don't they have friends of their own?"
She laughed. "Oh, usually. But as a Companion, I'm trained to understand high society and all of its rules and nuances," she replied, smiling. "To an unmarried, well-to-do man, it's often far easier -- and better for his standing -- to hire a Companion to accompany him than worry about finding, say, a date to a ball."
"So you just, like, go and dance with men at balls? That's the weirdest..." he trailed off, finally seeming to get it. "Oh. I." She could actually see Zuko mentally urging him to stop talking. "Wait, do you also have se -- "
"I think the tea is ready," Zuko said suddenly, cutting Sokka's question off and checking the teapot. "Yes, look, it's just right. We should have tea and then go talk to River. That sounds like a good plan. Doesn't it sound like a good plan, Sokka?"
She covered her mouth with one hand and snickered softly. Zuko had a tendency to be overly formal and stiff around her (and, she had noticed, everyone else), but when he was less concerned with what everyone else thought and was just being himself, he was endearingly awkward and adorable, like Wash when he was nervous. "The answer is yes, Sokka, sex is a part of my job," she answered, more to watch Zuko blush than to clear up Sokka's questions.
Sokka's jaw hung open blankly, and Zuko now seemed incapable of meeting her eyes (and was, she noted, turning a magnificent shade of red). She calmly poured the tea into three separate cups and handing them out. Zuko muttered a thank you but Sokka didn't seem to even notice. "So, you're a... a really high class prostitute?" Sokka asked bluntly, and Zuko choked on his tea.
"You should know," she replied evenly, "that calling a Companion a prostitute is a high insult."
Sokka turned white. "I'm sorry!" he cried. "I didn't know! I didn't mean anything by it! You're a really awesome prostit-- Companion! Companion!" he all-but shrieked, voice cracking. She smiled.
"I know you didn't know, Sokka. I'm not angry, really." She looked at Zuko, still spluttering and red-faced. "Are you all right, Zuko?"
"Yeah," he choked, "yeah, I'm great."
--
"How d'you feel?" Kaylee asked, leaning into Suki's room, where she was laying on her bed, tossing a ball up and catching it each time. It felt frustratingly like all the hours she'd spent in solitary confinement at the Boiling Rock, with nothing but her mind and a loose rock for company.
"Kinda sleepy still," she replied, and then growled, "and bored. Simon keeps telling me to take it slow and only get up and walk around if I really need to, but, ugh, there's nothing to do in this room."
"We-e-ell," Kaylee said, tapping the door frame. "We're 'bout an hour outta St. Albans, and Zoe n' I were plannin' to go visit a friend who's buried there, and then pick up some supplies. You can come along if you like? I'm sure Simon'll let you go for that. I know it's real cold out there, but it's more interestin' than sittin' in here, right?"
Suki bolted up, and then winced as her blood pressure adjusted itself accordingly. "I am all over that. It's way better than sitting around."
Kaylee grinned, helping Suki unsteadily to her feet. Simon had said that if she took care of herself now, she shouldn't have any long-term effects from the gunshot wound, but laying in bed all day was getting about fifteen million shades of really really old and she was starting to think that she would be quite all right with walking with a limp for the rest of her life, if it meant she could get out of her freaking bed.
"You can borrow one of my coats," Kaylee said, linking arms with her to help keep her steady on her leg. "It's winter where we're landing, which means it's gonna be extra-extra-cold. That's why Cap'n ain't gettin' off," she added, snickering. "He doesn't like cold weather."
Suki was working on a response to that, when they turned a corner and ran straight into Wash, carrying a large bucket and wearing an expression of both amusement and horror. "Shouldn't you be at the helm?" she asked, startled, and he laughed. It sounded desperate.
"I'm working on that. Our resident blind maniac got into your alcohol reserves, Kaylee," he said, and indicated to the bucket.
Kaylee sighed, but didn't look too mad. "Oh, well. So she's a little tipsy, what's so bad about that?"
"Jayne also got into the alcohol reserves," Wash explained. "And... let's just say that the dining room is a war zone."
Suki and Kaylee looked at each other for a single moment, and then ran (as well as they could, with Suki's leg) to the dining room, followed by Wash. Once there, Suki had to agree that "war zone" was probably the best description of the place. Jayne had apparently seen fit to show Toph all of his weapons, which were spread out in various states of taken-apart and loaded and unloaded, all over the room. Zoe was glaring at Jayne with such ferocity that Suki was frankly surprised his hat wasn't on fire. Toph was steadily passing the good part of being drunk and was wobbling uncertainly behind Zoe, like she was about to throw up all over the other woman -- this, Suki figured, was the reason for the bucket in Wash's hand.
"I did nothin' wrong," Jayne slurred.
"You got her drunk," Zoe snapped.
"So?"
Toph started giggling at this, which turned abruptly into hiccuping, which turned into Wash shoving Zoe out of the way and just barely getting the bucket to her in time. Suki recoiled, wincing, as Toph whimpered against the bucket.
"She isn't even eighteen yet," Zoe hissed. "And I seem to remember telling you that you are not allowed to be alone with her?"
"You ain't her mother," Jayne replied airily, taking a swig from a bottle of amber-colored liquid.
"Hey!" Kaylee cried, jumping forward and snatching the bottle from Jayne. "That's my special!"
Jayne swallowed hard and peered at her. "Tastes like piss."
"That's 'cause it ain't ready yet," Kaylee replied, huffing, and inspected the bottle. "Oh! Now I gotta start all over."
Suki limped over to Wash and Toph, figuring that it would be safer to stay out of the brewing storm between Kaylee, Zoe, and Jayne, and that she would be of more use comforting Toph in her drunkenness. "How much did she have?" she asked, sitting awkwardly on the other side of Toph, who was sitting with her legs outstretched, the bucket placed firmly between her knees, and leaning her forehead on its rim. Wash looked up from rubbing her back gently and winced.
"I'm not sure. Too much for someone of her size, that I can tell you." He made a face. "I've gotta get to the helm so we can start with the landing. Can you clean up some in here before the Cap'n comes in and sees the mess? Zoe'll take care of Toph."
"Will she?" Suki asked uncertainly, glancing at the tall woman, who was all-but radiating fury at the thoroughly plastered Jayne. Wash nodded.
"Yeah. She'll probably be sick for a bit longer, then fall asleep. Zoe said she can sleep in our bed while we're planetside," he added, waving a hand. "It's warmer and darker than the passenger dorms."
"Okay," Suki replied, standing. "Where do all the guns go?" she asked suddenly, as Wash was walking out the door.
"They're all Jayne's," Zoe replied for him without glancing away from Jayne. "So let him take care of them." Kaylee gave her a significant look, and then started helping her clean up the cups and bottles strewn about the dining room.
Just as they were almost through cleaning up (Kaylee had whined about a few of the bottles that had apparently been new recipes she'd been eager to try), Mal and -- Aang? walked in from the direction of the cargo bay. Both of them stopped dead in their tracks.
"Uh," Aang said blankly. "Toph?"
"Jayne," Mal said darkly. Jayne had the good sense to look sheepish.
"In my defense -- " he started, but Zoe cut him off.
"He don't have an excuse," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "I say we chuck him in the cargo bay and leave him there."
"I don't think we can get him there," Kaylee said, and Mal turned to her suddenly. Kaylee gasped. "Oops! I need to be in the engine room!"
"Did my whole crew just lose their gorram minds?" Mal hissed, and Aang glanced at him.
"I'll take care of Toph!" he offered. "And help Suki clean up! You don't need Jayne in the landing, so we can just leave him where he is, right? And then, um, it'll all work out!" He winced.
"Help Suki," Zoe said shortly, kneeling down at Toph's prone form. "She's already out. I'll take care of her."
"How are we supposed to deal with these two captives if we ain't got her?" Mal asked, apparently just this side of violently angry. Jayne blinked.
"What'd ya need her for?"
"I'm gonna kill him," Mal growled. Zoe, hoisting the unconscious Toph onto her back, glanced at Jayne.
"Can I help, sir?"
Suki glanced at Aang. "I think we can take care of the captives well enough on our own," she said, as brightly as possible. "Sure, all that rock is heavy, but we can, um, roll them through the halls."
Jayne began laughing at this, and even Mal snorted. "Roll 'em through the halls?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow.
"But we can't get the rock off them," Aang whimpered. "I wish I could still earthbend here," he grumbled. Suki paused; she hadn't been aware that taking the rock off of their captives had ever been in the plan. A quick glance at Mal confirmed that no, that was not part of the plan.
"We'll, um, figure something out," Suki replied uncertainly. "Worst comes to worst, we can always... chisel them."
Mal buried his face in his hands and made a sound not entirely unlike a dying animal. Both Suki and Aang winced. Jayne continued to snicker, although it was starting to sound tired, and kept muttering about chiseling and rolling Alliance officers through the halls, and Suki wondered if it might not be a good idea to just hit him across the head and knock him out entirely.
Luckily, the alcohol took over after a few more minutes, leaving Suki, Aang, and a very frustrated Mal (face still buried in his hands) standing awkwardly in the dining room with a snoring, unconscious Jayne.
Suki was really beginning to regret leaving her bed.
--
"Okay, so, Mal told me to deal with these guys," Aang said, the authority in his voice wavering a little as looked at the two glowering men encased in rock. "And, well, the plan was originally that Toph would, you know, take care of things, but she's, um, not feeling so great," he lied, wincing, and barreled on, "so it's up to us to figure out how to deal with this."
Aang looked at the assembled group -- a deeply confused and sleepy Simon, a downright morose Katara, a ferociously blushing Zuko, a thoroughly manic Sokka, and River, who, for the first time in probably as long as she'd been on Serenity, seemed to be the sanest person there. Yeah, he thought, there was no possible way this was going to end well. Or begin well. Or do anything except be a total disaster.
"How do we do that?" Simon mumbled, still struggling with the concept of wakefulness.
"Suki had a suggestion about rolling them down the halls," Aang suggested tentatively, and tried to ignore the downright homicidal glares he was receiving from the two rock-bound men. Maybe it was a good thing that Toph wasn't here to remove the rock from them; he had a sneaking suspicion that they would kill everyone onboard if given even the tiniest opportunity.
Sokka burst out laughing. "Roll them down the halls? That's the best idea ever!"
"He's been like this all day," Zuko muttered. "I think he's had too much coffee and not enough sleep."
"Hey, did you guys know that Inara -- " Sokka started, but Zuko hit him across the back of the head. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Sokka, will you just shut up?" Katara snapped, crossing her arms. "We have a serious conundrum here. Are they too heavy to carry?"
"Yes," River answered, half-hidden behind Simon. "Each weigh approximately four hundred and seventy-two pounds, including powered armor and rock."
"Powered armor?" Aang asked. "What is that?"
"It's... exactly what it sounds like," Simon replied, running a hand through his hair. "I would have thought they'd use it to break out of there, but I guess it malfunctioned?" He stifled a sharp yawn and shivered slightly in the cold air.
"We could ask," Sokka said, leaning forward, eyes wide like he was on cactus juice again, and poked the rock experimentally. "Hey, Alliance guys? What's up with the armor?" he called, far too loud for the corridor, and both Katara and Zuko buried their faced in their hands while both of their captives glared at him. "Huh. I guess it is broken, or they'd have just jumped out and killed me. I wish we could harvest it off their bodies or something, wouldn't that be awesome?"
"I am going to kill you," Katara grumbled.
"Will you stop antagonizing them?" Zuko hissed.
"Bigger issues!" Aang cried, wishing he had his staff to beat against the ground at the moment. "Katara, we've got a moon, can you waterbend them out to the cargo bay?"
"If I had enough water," she replied, sighing, "maybe."
For some reason, Zuko and Sokka gave each other guilty looks at this. "We can get you water," Zuko suggested. "There's pipes and things."
"And it's winter," Simon offered. "So there's, you know, snow."
"I feel like," Sokka said, hand on his chin, "and I could be wrong, but I feel like Mal won't like it if we create a river in the middle of his ship. I might be wrong, though!"
Katara glanced at Zuko while River giggled into Simon's shirt. "Can I kill him? I think it's justified."
"Once again," Aang said, through clenched teeth, "we have slightly bigger issues at hand." He was beginning to debate the merits of hitting Sokka upside the head and knocking him out for good. They were surprisingly many. (This thought was immediately followed by the realization that he had been spending way too much time around Toph.) "Maybe Katara can make an ice slide, and then... No," he mused, thinking, "that's no better than making a river through the ship."
"What about getting one of the gurneys from the cargo bay?" Simon offered. "The Captain uses those to haul crates in and out. They should work."
"Yeah!" Sokka cried, actually leaping and punching the air triumphantly, as though he'd come up with the idea. "We'll get one of those and -- "
"How will we get the gurney here?" Zuko asked, and Sokka's triumph froze on his face.
"Hmm," Simon replied, apparently totally unfazed by Sokka's caffeine high. "They're lighter than, ah... however heavy these men are," he said, crossing his arms. "A couple of us together should be able to carry one of them. It won't be easy," he added, shrugging, "but I think we can do it."
"Right," Sokka said, throwing an arm around Simon's shoulders. Simon blinked, and gave Sokka a deeply uneasy look. River, for no apparent reason, found this hysterical. "I nominate Doctor Muscles here, and Zuko, to be the carry-people, while Aang and Katara and River and I act as the cheering section."
"That's a great idea," Zuko replied dryly, "except that you're helping."
--
"Well," Zuko said, dropping Sokka's legs on the bed while Katara hauled his upper half onto the pillow, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming."
"It was pretty impressive how he just dropped," Katara said evenly, rolling her eyes. "I guess that's why Wash tried to dissuade him from drinking too much coffee?"
"Yeah, he mentioned that crashing from it would be nasty." Zuko sighed. "He's been stressing himself out."
"You're telling me," she replied, jerking the covers over her brother and glaring at him. "He thinks he's got to have everything under control."
"You're one to talk about control issues," he said calmly, giving her a sidelong glance. She made a face.
"I'm not the one who just went on a caffeine-fueled bender and then passed out in the middle of the cargo bay," she sniffed. "I swear, it's like Sokka's got a sixth sense for finding drinks that will make him act like a lunatic. First it was cactus juice, and then the Water of Life from the Northern Water Tribe, now coffee." She huffed, shaking her head.
"He'll be fine," Zuko said. "C'mon, let's get off the ship while we still can."