TWILIGHT: CHAPTER TWO

Jul 04, 2008 19:20

Hi again, guys! My review of the first chapter of Twilight got such a great response that I couldn't help but try and do the next one, as well! Hopefully I'll be able to do all of them ( Read more... )

twilight, review, mst, snark

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Comments 54

kitcat6640 July 5 2008, 05:12:43 UTC
Certain vampires wearing dishrags would be ultimate hawtness. Though Alucard would probably end up losing said "clothes" and go humping people. Or shooting peoples, whatever he's in the mood for. Because he can.

"I found your 'r'. It was under one of my couch cushions." Hey how about that! I found the uppercase T for terminator behind my desk! XD

"Magical color-changing eyes. Another classic Sue Sign."
I have to agree, that is a really annoying trait in a vampire character, or any character unless they're going from one major form to another

Heh if you think this was boring, if you get to New Moon, you'll be head-walling yourself in pain of the boredom.
~Cat~

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katanisk July 6 2008, 17:18:12 UTC
And Alucard can just do whatever he wants, because, honestly, who would try to stop him?

OMG. We must fix this! *breaks out the duct tape*

Yeah, really, I find it an annoying trait in any character, but it's especially obnoxious here. I'm just glad she didn't make his eyes PURPLE.

Oh dear. 8( Not encouraging.

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vetana_seti July 6 2008, 11:31:52 UTC
.... Yeah, I'm just gonna blame this one on my lack of cooking knowledge (because seriously, the most adventurous thing I've ever done was make a loaf of pre-mix banana bread), but I just picture her dumping marinade all over a raw steak and then slopping it messily on top of a carton of eggs in the fridge. I guess it's implied she used a container?

The thing about that that got me was that she put it on top of a carton of eggs. EGGS! I've had a SANDWICH crush eggs bofore, and now she's puting a steak on them.

Also, I'm so looking foreward to the next one. I was laughing so hard at most of your commentary

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vetana_seti July 6 2008, 11:48:14 UTC
before. That's supposed to be before.

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katanisk July 6 2008, 17:16:51 UTC
I'm leaving for vacation shortly, but I'll try and crank out one more chapter before I head off!

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vetana_seti July 7 2008, 01:58:15 UTC
all right, have fun on your vacation!

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the_dire_mimic July 6 2008, 11:46:11 UTC
Ahhhhhh a wonderful snark indeed. It's nauseating how much she describes his perfection and beauty and beauteous perfection *gag* I've found people incredibly attractive before but my mind has usually gone off into gibberish and I CAN'T look at them. Oh I might manage an occasional glance but honestly, I do my best *not* to be noticed, instead of miss *STARE* over here.

I'm looking forward to what's comic up next!

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the_dire_mimic July 6 2008, 11:47:01 UTC
*coming

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katanisk July 6 2008, 17:16:26 UTC
Yeah, frankly, normally I wouldn't be mocking the fact that she was describing something, but when ALL she's describing, endlessly, is the ultra-super-special-awesome hotness of her main character, it's absolutely ridiculous.

So really, replacing all the adjectives with HAWT isn't doing much aside from exposing how silly it is. It all means the same thing-- she's just hammering the point into our heads that these guys are absolutely drop-head beautiful.

And that's bad writing.

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azvolrien July 6 2008, 17:20:38 UTC
'Appatently'? I hope to God that's only a typo in the PDF, because I hate seeing things like that in published works. Proofreaders, people, proofreaders!

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katanisk July 6 2008, 21:37:50 UTC
Yeah, me too. Seriously. Typos are okay in a rough draft, that's what editors are for, but jeez. It's just sloppy to let something like that make it into a published work.

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an_angels_grace July 8 2008, 19:08:04 UTC
Although you do have to cut her proofreader a bit of slack... Twilight is like what? Five hundred pages?

The poor dears eyes were probably bleeding with the worse sins of purple prose and Bella's whining.

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katanisk July 6 2008, 21:36:45 UTC
Lol, yeah, I know right? Normally I wouldn't pick on people for describing stuff (because goodness knows I love describing EVERYTHING to a ridiculous level of detail), but she's just repeating herself, over and over and over ( ... )

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katanisk July 7 2008, 02:13:09 UTC
Ugh, yeah-- Flaws MAKE the characters. I love my own characters BECAUSE of their flaws, and I love other peoples' characters, published or unpublished, for THEIR flaws. The story of a perfect person means nothing to me, but the story of a flawed person overcoming their flaws will bring tears to my eyes.

But that only works when the author portrays the flaws as flaws.

And really, I'm full of the belief that an author is the absolute authority of What Is in their own canon... but in this case, based on what I've read, I think Meyer is one of the exceptions. She's glorifying an abusive relationship and that's really not okay.

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