For a Horse With Wings 7/?
Title: For a Horse With Wings
Author: kashoku_yoshiko
Word count: WIP
Spoilers: Just know who Dean and Castiel are
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Mental Health Issues
Summary: Dean has worked with horses all his life, but work as a ranch hand doesn’t pay the bills to put his brother through school. When a job opportunity to be the groom at Golden Gate Farms for one of the most decorated eventers of the time pops up, Dean hops on the chance. Unfortunately, Castiel Novak turns out to be a huge dick.
Author's Note: I am overwhelmed by the love for this story...I honestly am so thankful to have every single one of you!
Previous: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6
Dean could tell the shift in mood instantly around the show grounds that morning. Everyone was more excited, but a little on edge. A large crowd of locals had made its way towards the cross-country course. This was the day that everyone seemed to look forward to; horse, rider, and spectator. As with the previous day, Balthazar was slated to run the course prior to Inias.
“That’s to his benefit,” Chuck commented on the issue. “Balthazar is really confident over cross-country courses. I mean, a refusal is really rare for him. Castiel should get his confidence before heading out with Inias, who is really sensitive. If Inias picks up any kind of hesitation he won’t do it.”
Dean finished putting in Balthazar’s studs and made for the tack stall to start gathering the needed tack for Castiel’s cross-county excursion. “So it’s the same course for the two of them, right?”
Chuck nodded, “Yeah, Castiel is riding both of them at this same level. I really hope he has a good ride…I think I’ll be sick of Crowley wins another competition.”
Dean let the saddle fall on top of the gelding’s back and frowned. “That asshole is really good, huh?”
Chuck gave a shrug, “Unfortunately.”
Dean had Balthazar primed and ready to go when Castiel came for him. Even underneath the bulky protective vest that all riders were required to wear, Dean could see the tension in his boss’s muscles. “Hey,” he said softly to get the man’s attention as he held out the reigns, “Go get ‘em.” Castiel merely hummed before walking Balthazar off. Dean worked to get Inias ready to go before grabbing Balthazar’s halter and heading with Chuck to the cross-county course.
Castiel was warming Balthazar up in a small grassy area when Dean and Chuck finally made it up there. One of the show officials called out his number and he was trotting immediately over to the starting box. Instead of waiting inside of it while the official counted down he began trotting around it in a tight circle.
Curious as to why Dean tilted his head towards Chuck and inquired, “Why doesn’t he just sit in the box?”
Chuck laughed, “These horses know what’s about to come. They know they are on the cross-county course and the box means one thing to them: run. If Castiel tried to sit Balthazar in there he’d start rearing and getting real antsy in anticipation. They wait until the 5 second mark before actually going in to the box.”
The show official began calling out the numbers loud enough for everyone to hear, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5-“ Castiel reached for his watch and set the timer as he led the gelding into the start box, “-4,3,2,1. Have a good ride!”
Balthazar took off like a colt in the Derby towards the first jump. It was a huge wooden wall with flowers decorating the top. The chestnut cleared it with plenty of room to spare and continued galloping over the green knolls and various fences until he got far enough out neither Dean nor Chuck could see them any longer.
Chuck nudged Dean’s shoulder with the back of his hand to get his attention and headed towards a golf cart with officials huddled around it and a radio going off. “There are jump judges along the entire course that radio in that a rider has cleared fences, or refused them. We can listen in on his progress here. Balthazar had a great start.”
The radio crackled and a woman’s voice spoke, “Rider 45 clear over obstacle 15.”
The two waited in nervous excitement as the various rider numbers were called out and let out a sigh of a relief at the announcement of Castiel clearing all the obstacles before Dean could spot him coming in hot towards the final fence. Balthazar cleared it and passed through the final flags with ears forward and chest puffing out in pride. As soon as Castiel dismounted Dean was removing the bridle with swift motions and replacing it with the halter. Balthazar made instantly for a patch of grass, but Dean jerked up hard and began to walk the gelding out.
“Double clear!” Chuck grinned, “That was great, Castiel! You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ride.”
Even Dean could tell Castiel agreed. He was practically beaming as he took off his helmet. Well, as beaming as the man could possibly be. “He rode very well. I felt he was a bit reckless at the water complex, but we survived.” He turned to Dean, “Please make sure he is cooled out well before putting him back in the stall. Balthazar tends to overdo it in the speed category.”
“You got it, boss. Inias is all ready for you to go kick ass and take names with.” Dean gave him a thumbs up and a wink as he began making towards the wash stalls they had set up. Unfortunately with the ride times as close as they were, he would only be able to catch the last leg of Inias’s ride. After tying the gelding up and grabbing all the necessary soaps and tools from stall he set off to scrub Balthazar down. He had learned fast that the chestnut loved having his face scrubbed with one of the bath brushes and since he had been a good boy Dean made sure to give him some extra loving there.
By the time Dean had properly cooled Balthazar out and made it back to the cross-county course with Inias’s halter Castiel was coming up over the final hill. “Hey, how’s he doing?”
“For Inias, great,” Chuck began, “They are going to get some time faults for going over the optimum time, but no refusals.”
“Is Inias just typically slower?” Dean asked as he began walking towards the finish flags.
“Are you kidding? At full speed Inias is the fastest horse Castiel owns. He used to be a pretty successful race horse back in the day. Problem is, Castiel gets nervous and ends up slowing him down.”
Dean went through the same routine with Inias as Castiel dismounted, this time with a disappointed look on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up. You made it over all the jumps without any problems,” Dean offered words of encouragement.
Castiel blew a sigh out of his nose as he began removing his gloves and unzipping his vest, “I suppose. We were far enough up in Dressage that the time penalties should not drop us.”
“See, don’t be such a Debby Downer, Cas.” Dean gave Inias a pat on his shoulder and started walking him out. Even as Castiel walked away Dean could see the dissatisfaction in the man’s posture. Honestly, he really needed to help get that stick out of the rider’s ass. He’d be a lot better off if he stopped worrying so much about things. Chuck helped Dean wrap Balthazar and Inias’s legs as Castiel changed into a pair of jeans and a polo to go watch the other competitors.
“Hello, bitches,” came a cheerful voice from outside the stall as Dean finished putting a piece of duct tape on the last wrap to keep it on.
“Charlie,” Dean smiled. “How did your day go?”
“Gilda had a great ride,” she grinned as she leaned up against the stall to peer in at Dean. “She was only sitting fourth in her division, but there are still a few more riders left. It could all change by the end of the day. How did Cas do?”
“Double clear on Balthazar and just some time faults on Inias,” Dean responded as he exited Inias’s stall and latched the door behind him.
“Hey, that’s great!” Charlie exclaimed.
“Yeah, well,” Dean shrugged, “if you asked Cas that he’d tell you otherwise.”
Charlie rolled her eyes, “He’s always like that; hard on himself. Gilda used to be like that, too.”
Dean crossed his arms and let himself use the stall to keep upright. “So how did you get her past it?”
“Well,” the red-head began as she plopped into Castiel’s chair, “One day she was watching some of the other competitors go on the cross-country course and a rider fell off. Everyone was ok, but the rider was so pissed off he started throwing this huge temper tantrum and started yelling at his horse like it was his fault or something. Gilda realized that she acted the same way when things didn’t go her way.”
“Huh,” Dean grunted in amusement, “and she saw how ugly it made her look.”
“Exactly,” Charlie nodded. “It wasn’t worth it to her anymore. It took away from everything this sport is supposed to be; a partnership. It’s not really about beating the other people, but beating yourself. If Gilda improves on just one movement on her Dressage test, she’s completely happy.”
“Castiel definitely falls into the category of those that throw a hissy fit when they don’t win,” Dean remarked as he ran a hand over his face, “and somehow I just see himself saying ‘I don’t do that’ if you tried to show him a mirror.”
Charlie hummed in agreement, “Yeah, probably. So you’ve got to find whatever it is that makes him realize it’s about fun. Trust me, a little fun in his life might actually keep that frown from becoming permanently engrained in his face.”
Dean snorted, “Fun? Do you really think Cas even knows the definition of the word?”
“Probably not,” Charlie agreed as she stood and clasped a hand to the man’s shoulder, “but that’s where you’ve got to show him.”
“Oh, thanks. Because that’s going to be so easy,” Dean rolled his eyes.
“And that’s where I’m glad it’s you and not me!” Charlie grinned as she started walking away. “Peace, bitches!”
“Castiel used to have fun,” Chuck finally spoke from the corner he had been hiding in, “back when his mom was still around and he was still riding in the Young Adult Riders league.”
Dean could feel the empathy rise up. “And then his mom died…” He knew that feeling all too well. He had fun around horses once-upon-a-time, too, when his mom was still alive.
Chuck nodded as he picked up a cleaning sponge and began scrubbing a bridle absentmindedly, “And more importantly Michael taking over everything. It was ok for a while when Anna was still competing regularly, but then she had the accident. She hasn’t been back in it real long and for the longest time it was up to Castiel to bring in all the money.”
Dean grabbed an extra sponge and began on one of the saddles, “That had to have been hard on him. It was the same for me after my mom died and Dad just kind of gave up on everything. I couldn’t do it…and I had to give it up.”
“You didn’t give it up,” Chuck argued, “You simply changed avenues.”
“Yeah, because I couldn’t succeed at the other one.” Dean shook his head, “Yeah, well, it is what it is. All I can do is make sure Castiel succeeds so I still have a freaking job.”
/*/
Dean’s alarm went off early again and with a groan Dean turned it off to get himself ready. At least it was the final day of the competition. As usual, Castiel was a Chatty-Kathy and said absolutely nothing on the ride over to the stables. Dean checked the horses over for any swelling or injuries from the previous day and was pleased to find both the geldings completely sound. Unfortunately for Dean’s hands, both of the horses had to be braided again for the show jumping. Thankfully, Castiel was absent and Chuck was able to sneak his way in to pull the assist.
The sun was hiding behind a thick veil of clouds and the horses’ breaths left visible puffs in the morning air. If Dean had been a horse, he’d figure this would be perfect weather to go running in. Castiel was dressed in his white breeches and red show coat when he finally showed back up to claim Balthazar. Dean would never admit it, but he might have been taking an extra stare at the way these particular breeches stretched over the taught thigh muscles and the curves of Castiel’s ass.
Balthazar went double clear his round securing at least third place for the gelding. As Dean bridled Inias he leaned in and whispered to the gelding, “Hey, take care of him ok? I know it’ll be hard, but if he fucks up I need you to fix it. Sometimes you got to call his bluff and take care of business yourself, you hear?”
Dean and Chuck both felt anxious as they leaned up against the white railing of the arena with Castiel warming up waiting for the bell to signal the start of his course. The soft chime of the bell echoed and Castiel moved Inias up into a canter to begin. Inias floated across the sand as he approached the first jump and sailed over it with ease. Dean felt great about their ride as they continued around the course until the bay gelding had a bad approach, chipping in over a jump and barely clearing it. At that moment he could see the gears turning in Castiel’s head and the panic start to set in as they approached the triple combination.
“Shit,” Dean muttered as he felt himself gripping the railing tight. Castiel was fighting too much with Inias as they approached the combination and sure enough, first jump, second jump, third jump…Inias knocked a rail on all three of the jumps.
There was an amused snicker from behind the two boys. “Well, well, it looks like I’ll be sitting at the top of the winner’s circle once again.”
Dean whipped around and glared daggers at Crowley. If it weren’t for Chuck’s warning hand on his arm he would have punched the dick in the face. “Do you get your enjoyment from kicking people while they are down all the time?”
“No, not all the time,” Crowley picked at some dirt underneath his nails, “Sometimes I kick them while they are up, too.”
“You son-of-a-fucking-bitch,” Dean growled.
“Dean,” Chuck warned with a tug on the man’s arm to pull him away. “It’s not worth it.”
“Tell Castiel he should find another hobby,” Crowley winked. “Tootles.”
“Rider number 52 completes the ride with 12 jumping faults and zero time penalties…”
Dean jerked his arm away from Chuck and turned his focus back to Castiel who was trotting out of the arena on Inias. The man said absolutely nothing as he shoved the reigns into Dean’s hands and stormed off, but Dean clearly saw the tears that he had been so desperate to hide. With a heavy sigh Dean gave the gelding a pat. “I know you tried, buddy. He’s just a stubborn shit.” Inias snorted in agreement.
Balthazar ended up in second place and Inias dropped to fifth. Even still, both horses ended up drawing money for Castiel and Inias won a bonus for having highest Dressage score in the entire competition. Dean was about to offer his congratulations to his boss when Castiel tossed the ribbons angrily into the trailer’s tack room, barely missing Dean’s face.
“Load the horses and let’s go,” his voice demanded with a layer of thick venom.
“Well who shat in your Cherrios? You got a fucking blue ribbon and you were in the money with both horses! What the hell is there to be angry about?” Dean growled as he picked up the ribbons and hung them in a safer place than the floor.
“I should have won, Dean!” Castiel hissed as he opened the passenger door to the truck. “If Inias hadn’t-,”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there,” Dean insisted bringing his hand to lie on the top of the truck above Castiel. “Inias wasn’t the one that froze up like a god damn glacier out there. You were giving him all those mixed signals out there and you want to put the blame on him? Why don’t you face facts that you are the one that fucks up, not the horse?”
Castiel’s cheeks turned red and his nose flared in anger as he leaned forward in to Dean’s personal space. “Load. The horses. Now.” He shoved Dean off the truck and closed the door.
Dean growled as he leaned up against the glass, “Oh, yeah, it’s just so much easier to blame the horse, isn’t it? Perfect Castiel, couldn’t ever be his fault could it?” He slammed the glass with his palm before backing away.
“Dean,” Chuck sighed with Balthazar at his side ready to load.
“Fuck off,” Dean jeered as he opened up the trailer for Chuck to load the horse. The horses were loaded in silence and Dean slammed the driver side door hard enough to shake the entire truck before starting up the engine and heading towards the long driveway out of the farm. He kept waiting for Castiel to say something so he could blow up at the rider again, but it never came. The three of them sat there in an angry silence as the sky darkened on their way back home.
Gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles Dean let the thoughts flow through his head. Anna had once told him that Castiel never actually fired anyone, and he understood why. The rider never got the chance to fire anyone before he drove them to quit. Dean had dealt with asshole riders before, but at least they didn’t play the up and down shit that Castiel seemed so fond of. For a brief day Dean had thought maybe he and Castiel could work things out, but once again he found himself thinking about who he could drop a résumé off to. Now that he had some English experience, it might be easier to get another job.
They arrived back at Golden Gate Farms around 8 o’-clock and Chuck and Dean worked to unload the horses and tack. Once everything was part-way settled in Dean made his decision. Castiel was gathering up his show clothes to take up to the house when Dean stopped him. “I’ll make sure Inias and Balthazar are settled in for the night, but then that’s it. I’m out of here tonight, Cas.”
Castiel’s head whipped around with wide eyes. “What?”
Dean let out a disgusted snort, “Oh, because this comes as such a shock to you. Why do you think I’d stick around when you continuously treat me like shit? You told me the first time it was because I stand up for you and I help you, but when the hell do you stand up for me? When are you going to help me? What, did you think that by just giving me the job that was enough pity and you could treat the invalid however you wanted?”
“Dean, no-,”
“Shove it, Cas. Yeah, it was a nice freaking sloppy ass handjob we had in the middle of the barn. It felt good enough to cloud the hell out of my judgment that night, but it’s going to take a lot more than that to keep me around.”
Castiel sucked in a breath and clung to the shoulder strap of his bag, “If that’s what you require…”
“Jesus,Cas! For fuck’s sake!” Dean exclaimed, his voice raising enough to draw Chuck out of the tack room. “I don’t want you whoring yourself out to me, I just want to be treated like a human being!”
Castiel was visibly shaking as he swallowed hard and managed to squeak out a “Please.”
Standing his ground Dean firmly responded, “No. I wish you the best of luck, I really do, but I won’t be a part of it any longer.” With his head held high he turned and began walking back towards the barn.
Chuck struggled with what to say as Dean walked by before grabbing the man’s arm and looking at him with the most pleading set of eyes, “Dean, please. I know better than anyone how much of a pain Castiel can be, but please don’t leave. It’ll kill him.”
“Well,” Dean said as he threw a flake of hay into Inias’s stall before looking Chuck dead in the eye, “Maybe he should have thought of that before being such a dick.” He made it a point to brush shoulders hard with the man before making his way up the stairs of their loft.
“Shit,” Chuck whispered as he began fumbling in his pocket for his phone.
/*/
Dean had nowhere to go that night, but he would be damned if he stayed at that farm a second longer. It had taken all of five minutes to throw everything he owned into his duffle and pack up the Impala. There had been a small bar off the road with inviting neon lights that easily attracted his attention. It was hardly crowded, maybe all of 15 people there, but the cold beer felt nice going down his throat.
“You know,” A soft voice spoke from his side, “It looks like you could use someone to talk to.”
Dean turned his head and frowned as Anna took a seat next to him. “My mind is made up, thanks.” He took another swig of his beer and signaled to the bartender for another.
Anna rubbed at a spot behind her ear before letting out a sigh. “My brother…he has problems, I know. But, he can’t control it. It’s not all really him.”
“Oh, so now I’m supposed to excuse his behavior. It’s ok that he treats me like shit because he doesn’t mean it,” Dean snorted as he moved for his shot of whiskey.
“No, I’m not saying that,” Anna protested, “But I need you to understand that the way he speaks about you when you aren’t around…it’s the happiest he’s been. The day you taught him to join-up with Inias, he couldn’t stop talking about it. And the progress you’ve made with Lucifer…”
“Yeah, well,” he made a face as the whiskey burned on the way down, “It would have been nice to have heard it from him.”
“He doesn’t know how,” Anna groaned. “Look, I won’t betray my brother’s trust by telling you all about his problems, but there are legitimate medical reasons he is the way he is. Believe it or not, he has made so much progress since you showed up and I just don’t-,” she put a hand to her mouth as she began to choke up with tears.
The way the light hit the woman’s shirt caused Dean to see the wet spot soaking throat the right shoulder of her fabric. Had…that been from Castiel? With a heavy heart and heavy sigh Dean rubbed a hand down his face, “Anna, I can’t take it. It’s abuse.”
“I know, and,” She wiped away at the tears, “I’m going to do everything I can to help. I’ll be there every time Castiel goes down to the barn so I can help with his behavior. Once he trusts you, I promise he won’t act like that.”
Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and groaned as he looked up in defeat. Everything was telling him to blow Anna off and continue on down the road, but there was just something about those big blue eyes and the stain on Anna’s shirt that was sucking him back. “Fine.”
Anna flung out of her stool and wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck, “Thank you! I’ll even give you a pay raise!”
“Yeah, you better,” Dean joked as he threw down a wad of money on the counter and stood. “But this is it, Anna. I mean it.”
Anna nodded vigorously. “I promise, if you want to leave again I won’t try and stop you.”
/*/
“Just say it,” Dean groaned at Chuck’s thousandth smile.
Chuck just grinned wider, “I have to say, I didn’t think Anna would be able to convince you to come back…but I’m glad you did, Dean. You love the horses and you do so well here.”
Bobby gave a snort as he dumped a shovel of horse poop into the wheel barrel. “Well he didn’t come back for the human company, that’s for damn sure.”
“Definitely not for you, old man,” Dean agreed with a smile.
“…Dean?”
Dean looked up to see a shocked Castiel standing in the middle of the aisle way. Chuck and Bobby instantly began taking their work elsewhere which caused an eye-roll from Dean. “Balthazar had a little heat in his front right leg this morning,” He spoke casually as he continued to re-arrange the brushes in the grooming bucket. “I put poultice on it and wrapped it back up. He isn’t lame, so I think he’ll be ok in the mor-oof!” Castiel buried his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and hugged his waist tightly. Dean stood there, not knowing what to do before slowly bringing his arms down and hugging the man back.
Traces of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
Author: kashoku_yoshiko
Word count: WIP
Spoilers: Just know who Dean and Castiel are
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: AU, Mental Health Issues
Summary: Dean has worked with horses all his life, but work as a ranch hand doesn’t pay the bills to put his brother through school. When a job opportunity to be the groom at Golden Gate Farms for one of the most decorated eventers of the time pops up, Dean hops on the chance. Unfortunately, Castiel Novak turns out to be a huge dick.
Author's Note: I am overwhelmed by the love for this story...I honestly am so thankful to have every single one of you!
Previous: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6
Dean could tell the shift in mood instantly around the show grounds that morning. Everyone was more excited, but a little on edge. A large crowd of locals had made its way towards the cross-country course. This was the day that everyone seemed to look forward to; horse, rider, and spectator. As with the previous day, Balthazar was slated to run the course prior to Inias.
“That’s to his benefit,” Chuck commented on the issue. “Balthazar is really confident over cross-country courses. I mean, a refusal is really rare for him. Castiel should get his confidence before heading out with Inias, who is really sensitive. If Inias picks up any kind of hesitation he won’t do it.”
Dean finished putting in Balthazar’s studs and made for the tack stall to start gathering the needed tack for Castiel’s cross-county excursion. “So it’s the same course for the two of them, right?”
Chuck nodded, “Yeah, Castiel is riding both of them at this same level. I really hope he has a good ride…I think I’ll be sick of Crowley wins another competition.”
Dean let the saddle fall on top of the gelding’s back and frowned. “That asshole is really good, huh?”
Chuck gave a shrug, “Unfortunately.”
Dean had Balthazar primed and ready to go when Castiel came for him. Even underneath the bulky protective vest that all riders were required to wear, Dean could see the tension in his boss’s muscles. “Hey,” he said softly to get the man’s attention as he held out the reigns, “Go get ‘em.” Castiel merely hummed before walking Balthazar off. Dean worked to get Inias ready to go before grabbing Balthazar’s halter and heading with Chuck to the cross-county course.
Castiel was warming Balthazar up in a small grassy area when Dean and Chuck finally made it up there. One of the show officials called out his number and he was trotting immediately over to the starting box. Instead of waiting inside of it while the official counted down he began trotting around it in a tight circle.
Curious as to why Dean tilted his head towards Chuck and inquired, “Why doesn’t he just sit in the box?”
Chuck laughed, “These horses know what’s about to come. They know they are on the cross-county course and the box means one thing to them: run. If Castiel tried to sit Balthazar in there he’d start rearing and getting real antsy in anticipation. They wait until the 5 second mark before actually going in to the box.”
The show official began calling out the numbers loud enough for everyone to hear, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5-“ Castiel reached for his watch and set the timer as he led the gelding into the start box, “-4,3,2,1. Have a good ride!”
Balthazar took off like a colt in the Derby towards the first jump. It was a huge wooden wall with flowers decorating the top. The chestnut cleared it with plenty of room to spare and continued galloping over the green knolls and various fences until he got far enough out neither Dean nor Chuck could see them any longer.
Chuck nudged Dean’s shoulder with the back of his hand to get his attention and headed towards a golf cart with officials huddled around it and a radio going off. “There are jump judges along the entire course that radio in that a rider has cleared fences, or refused them. We can listen in on his progress here. Balthazar had a great start.”
The radio crackled and a woman’s voice spoke, “Rider 45 clear over obstacle 15.”
The two waited in nervous excitement as the various rider numbers were called out and let out a sigh of a relief at the announcement of Castiel clearing all the obstacles before Dean could spot him coming in hot towards the final fence. Balthazar cleared it and passed through the final flags with ears forward and chest puffing out in pride. As soon as Castiel dismounted Dean was removing the bridle with swift motions and replacing it with the halter. Balthazar made instantly for a patch of grass, but Dean jerked up hard and began to walk the gelding out.
“Double clear!” Chuck grinned, “That was great, Castiel! You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ride.”
Even Dean could tell Castiel agreed. He was practically beaming as he took off his helmet. Well, as beaming as the man could possibly be. “He rode very well. I felt he was a bit reckless at the water complex, but we survived.” He turned to Dean, “Please make sure he is cooled out well before putting him back in the stall. Balthazar tends to overdo it in the speed category.”
“You got it, boss. Inias is all ready for you to go kick ass and take names with.” Dean gave him a thumbs up and a wink as he began making towards the wash stalls they had set up. Unfortunately with the ride times as close as they were, he would only be able to catch the last leg of Inias’s ride. After tying the gelding up and grabbing all the necessary soaps and tools from stall he set off to scrub Balthazar down. He had learned fast that the chestnut loved having his face scrubbed with one of the bath brushes and since he had been a good boy Dean made sure to give him some extra loving there.
By the time Dean had properly cooled Balthazar out and made it back to the cross-county course with Inias’s halter Castiel was coming up over the final hill. “Hey, how’s he doing?”
“For Inias, great,” Chuck began, “They are going to get some time faults for going over the optimum time, but no refusals.”
“Is Inias just typically slower?” Dean asked as he began walking towards the finish flags.
“Are you kidding? At full speed Inias is the fastest horse Castiel owns. He used to be a pretty successful race horse back in the day. Problem is, Castiel gets nervous and ends up slowing him down.”
Dean went through the same routine with Inias as Castiel dismounted, this time with a disappointed look on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up. You made it over all the jumps without any problems,” Dean offered words of encouragement.
Castiel blew a sigh out of his nose as he began removing his gloves and unzipping his vest, “I suppose. We were far enough up in Dressage that the time penalties should not drop us.”
“See, don’t be such a Debby Downer, Cas.” Dean gave Inias a pat on his shoulder and started walking him out. Even as Castiel walked away Dean could see the dissatisfaction in the man’s posture. Honestly, he really needed to help get that stick out of the rider’s ass. He’d be a lot better off if he stopped worrying so much about things. Chuck helped Dean wrap Balthazar and Inias’s legs as Castiel changed into a pair of jeans and a polo to go watch the other competitors.
“Hello, bitches,” came a cheerful voice from outside the stall as Dean finished putting a piece of duct tape on the last wrap to keep it on.
“Charlie,” Dean smiled. “How did your day go?”
“Gilda had a great ride,” she grinned as she leaned up against the stall to peer in at Dean. “She was only sitting fourth in her division, but there are still a few more riders left. It could all change by the end of the day. How did Cas do?”
“Double clear on Balthazar and just some time faults on Inias,” Dean responded as he exited Inias’s stall and latched the door behind him.
“Hey, that’s great!” Charlie exclaimed.
“Yeah, well,” Dean shrugged, “if you asked Cas that he’d tell you otherwise.”
Charlie rolled her eyes, “He’s always like that; hard on himself. Gilda used to be like that, too.”
Dean crossed his arms and let himself use the stall to keep upright. “So how did you get her past it?”
“Well,” the red-head began as she plopped into Castiel’s chair, “One day she was watching some of the other competitors go on the cross-country course and a rider fell off. Everyone was ok, but the rider was so pissed off he started throwing this huge temper tantrum and started yelling at his horse like it was his fault or something. Gilda realized that she acted the same way when things didn’t go her way.”
“Huh,” Dean grunted in amusement, “and she saw how ugly it made her look.”
“Exactly,” Charlie nodded. “It wasn’t worth it to her anymore. It took away from everything this sport is supposed to be; a partnership. It’s not really about beating the other people, but beating yourself. If Gilda improves on just one movement on her Dressage test, she’s completely happy.”
“Castiel definitely falls into the category of those that throw a hissy fit when they don’t win,” Dean remarked as he ran a hand over his face, “and somehow I just see himself saying ‘I don’t do that’ if you tried to show him a mirror.”
Charlie hummed in agreement, “Yeah, probably. So you’ve got to find whatever it is that makes him realize it’s about fun. Trust me, a little fun in his life might actually keep that frown from becoming permanently engrained in his face.”
Dean snorted, “Fun? Do you really think Cas even knows the definition of the word?”
“Probably not,” Charlie agreed as she stood and clasped a hand to the man’s shoulder, “but that’s where you’ve got to show him.”
“Oh, thanks. Because that’s going to be so easy,” Dean rolled his eyes.
“And that’s where I’m glad it’s you and not me!” Charlie grinned as she started walking away. “Peace, bitches!”
“Castiel used to have fun,” Chuck finally spoke from the corner he had been hiding in, “back when his mom was still around and he was still riding in the Young Adult Riders league.”
Dean could feel the empathy rise up. “And then his mom died…” He knew that feeling all too well. He had fun around horses once-upon-a-time, too, when his mom was still alive.
Chuck nodded as he picked up a cleaning sponge and began scrubbing a bridle absentmindedly, “And more importantly Michael taking over everything. It was ok for a while when Anna was still competing regularly, but then she had the accident. She hasn’t been back in it real long and for the longest time it was up to Castiel to bring in all the money.”
Dean grabbed an extra sponge and began on one of the saddles, “That had to have been hard on him. It was the same for me after my mom died and Dad just kind of gave up on everything. I couldn’t do it…and I had to give it up.”
“You didn’t give it up,” Chuck argued, “You simply changed avenues.”
“Yeah, because I couldn’t succeed at the other one.” Dean shook his head, “Yeah, well, it is what it is. All I can do is make sure Castiel succeeds so I still have a freaking job.”
/*/
Dean’s alarm went off early again and with a groan Dean turned it off to get himself ready. At least it was the final day of the competition. As usual, Castiel was a Chatty-Kathy and said absolutely nothing on the ride over to the stables. Dean checked the horses over for any swelling or injuries from the previous day and was pleased to find both the geldings completely sound. Unfortunately for Dean’s hands, both of the horses had to be braided again for the show jumping. Thankfully, Castiel was absent and Chuck was able to sneak his way in to pull the assist.
The sun was hiding behind a thick veil of clouds and the horses’ breaths left visible puffs in the morning air. If Dean had been a horse, he’d figure this would be perfect weather to go running in. Castiel was dressed in his white breeches and red show coat when he finally showed back up to claim Balthazar. Dean would never admit it, but he might have been taking an extra stare at the way these particular breeches stretched over the taught thigh muscles and the curves of Castiel’s ass.
Balthazar went double clear his round securing at least third place for the gelding. As Dean bridled Inias he leaned in and whispered to the gelding, “Hey, take care of him ok? I know it’ll be hard, but if he fucks up I need you to fix it. Sometimes you got to call his bluff and take care of business yourself, you hear?”
Dean and Chuck both felt anxious as they leaned up against the white railing of the arena with Castiel warming up waiting for the bell to signal the start of his course. The soft chime of the bell echoed and Castiel moved Inias up into a canter to begin. Inias floated across the sand as he approached the first jump and sailed over it with ease. Dean felt great about their ride as they continued around the course until the bay gelding had a bad approach, chipping in over a jump and barely clearing it. At that moment he could see the gears turning in Castiel’s head and the panic start to set in as they approached the triple combination.
“Shit,” Dean muttered as he felt himself gripping the railing tight. Castiel was fighting too much with Inias as they approached the combination and sure enough, first jump, second jump, third jump…Inias knocked a rail on all three of the jumps.
There was an amused snicker from behind the two boys. “Well, well, it looks like I’ll be sitting at the top of the winner’s circle once again.”
Dean whipped around and glared daggers at Crowley. If it weren’t for Chuck’s warning hand on his arm he would have punched the dick in the face. “Do you get your enjoyment from kicking people while they are down all the time?”
“No, not all the time,” Crowley picked at some dirt underneath his nails, “Sometimes I kick them while they are up, too.”
“You son-of-a-fucking-bitch,” Dean growled.
“Dean,” Chuck warned with a tug on the man’s arm to pull him away. “It’s not worth it.”
“Tell Castiel he should find another hobby,” Crowley winked. “Tootles.”
“Rider number 52 completes the ride with 12 jumping faults and zero time penalties…”
Dean jerked his arm away from Chuck and turned his focus back to Castiel who was trotting out of the arena on Inias. The man said absolutely nothing as he shoved the reigns into Dean’s hands and stormed off, but Dean clearly saw the tears that he had been so desperate to hide. With a heavy sigh Dean gave the gelding a pat. “I know you tried, buddy. He’s just a stubborn shit.” Inias snorted in agreement.
Balthazar ended up in second place and Inias dropped to fifth. Even still, both horses ended up drawing money for Castiel and Inias won a bonus for having highest Dressage score in the entire competition. Dean was about to offer his congratulations to his boss when Castiel tossed the ribbons angrily into the trailer’s tack room, barely missing Dean’s face.
“Load the horses and let’s go,” his voice demanded with a layer of thick venom.
“Well who shat in your Cherrios? You got a fucking blue ribbon and you were in the money with both horses! What the hell is there to be angry about?” Dean growled as he picked up the ribbons and hung them in a safer place than the floor.
“I should have won, Dean!” Castiel hissed as he opened the passenger door to the truck. “If Inias hadn’t-,”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there,” Dean insisted bringing his hand to lie on the top of the truck above Castiel. “Inias wasn’t the one that froze up like a god damn glacier out there. You were giving him all those mixed signals out there and you want to put the blame on him? Why don’t you face facts that you are the one that fucks up, not the horse?”
Castiel’s cheeks turned red and his nose flared in anger as he leaned forward in to Dean’s personal space. “Load. The horses. Now.” He shoved Dean off the truck and closed the door.
Dean growled as he leaned up against the glass, “Oh, yeah, it’s just so much easier to blame the horse, isn’t it? Perfect Castiel, couldn’t ever be his fault could it?” He slammed the glass with his palm before backing away.
“Dean,” Chuck sighed with Balthazar at his side ready to load.
“Fuck off,” Dean jeered as he opened up the trailer for Chuck to load the horse. The horses were loaded in silence and Dean slammed the driver side door hard enough to shake the entire truck before starting up the engine and heading towards the long driveway out of the farm. He kept waiting for Castiel to say something so he could blow up at the rider again, but it never came. The three of them sat there in an angry silence as the sky darkened on their way back home.
Gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles Dean let the thoughts flow through his head. Anna had once told him that Castiel never actually fired anyone, and he understood why. The rider never got the chance to fire anyone before he drove them to quit. Dean had dealt with asshole riders before, but at least they didn’t play the up and down shit that Castiel seemed so fond of. For a brief day Dean had thought maybe he and Castiel could work things out, but once again he found himself thinking about who he could drop a résumé off to. Now that he had some English experience, it might be easier to get another job.
They arrived back at Golden Gate Farms around 8 o’-clock and Chuck and Dean worked to unload the horses and tack. Once everything was part-way settled in Dean made his decision. Castiel was gathering up his show clothes to take up to the house when Dean stopped him. “I’ll make sure Inias and Balthazar are settled in for the night, but then that’s it. I’m out of here tonight, Cas.”
Castiel’s head whipped around with wide eyes. “What?”
Dean let out a disgusted snort, “Oh, because this comes as such a shock to you. Why do you think I’d stick around when you continuously treat me like shit? You told me the first time it was because I stand up for you and I help you, but when the hell do you stand up for me? When are you going to help me? What, did you think that by just giving me the job that was enough pity and you could treat the invalid however you wanted?”
“Dean, no-,”
“Shove it, Cas. Yeah, it was a nice freaking sloppy ass handjob we had in the middle of the barn. It felt good enough to cloud the hell out of my judgment that night, but it’s going to take a lot more than that to keep me around.”
Castiel sucked in a breath and clung to the shoulder strap of his bag, “If that’s what you require…”
“Jesus,Cas! For fuck’s sake!” Dean exclaimed, his voice raising enough to draw Chuck out of the tack room. “I don’t want you whoring yourself out to me, I just want to be treated like a human being!”
Castiel was visibly shaking as he swallowed hard and managed to squeak out a “Please.”
Standing his ground Dean firmly responded, “No. I wish you the best of luck, I really do, but I won’t be a part of it any longer.” With his head held high he turned and began walking back towards the barn.
Chuck struggled with what to say as Dean walked by before grabbing the man’s arm and looking at him with the most pleading set of eyes, “Dean, please. I know better than anyone how much of a pain Castiel can be, but please don’t leave. It’ll kill him.”
“Well,” Dean said as he threw a flake of hay into Inias’s stall before looking Chuck dead in the eye, “Maybe he should have thought of that before being such a dick.” He made it a point to brush shoulders hard with the man before making his way up the stairs of their loft.
“Shit,” Chuck whispered as he began fumbling in his pocket for his phone.
/*/
Dean had nowhere to go that night, but he would be damned if he stayed at that farm a second longer. It had taken all of five minutes to throw everything he owned into his duffle and pack up the Impala. There had been a small bar off the road with inviting neon lights that easily attracted his attention. It was hardly crowded, maybe all of 15 people there, but the cold beer felt nice going down his throat.
“You know,” A soft voice spoke from his side, “It looks like you could use someone to talk to.”
Dean turned his head and frowned as Anna took a seat next to him. “My mind is made up, thanks.” He took another swig of his beer and signaled to the bartender for another.
Anna rubbed at a spot behind her ear before letting out a sigh. “My brother…he has problems, I know. But, he can’t control it. It’s not all really him.”
“Oh, so now I’m supposed to excuse his behavior. It’s ok that he treats me like shit because he doesn’t mean it,” Dean snorted as he moved for his shot of whiskey.
“No, I’m not saying that,” Anna protested, “But I need you to understand that the way he speaks about you when you aren’t around…it’s the happiest he’s been. The day you taught him to join-up with Inias, he couldn’t stop talking about it. And the progress you’ve made with Lucifer…”
“Yeah, well,” he made a face as the whiskey burned on the way down, “It would have been nice to have heard it from him.”
“He doesn’t know how,” Anna groaned. “Look, I won’t betray my brother’s trust by telling you all about his problems, but there are legitimate medical reasons he is the way he is. Believe it or not, he has made so much progress since you showed up and I just don’t-,” she put a hand to her mouth as she began to choke up with tears.
The way the light hit the woman’s shirt caused Dean to see the wet spot soaking throat the right shoulder of her fabric. Had…that been from Castiel? With a heavy heart and heavy sigh Dean rubbed a hand down his face, “Anna, I can’t take it. It’s abuse.”
“I know, and,” She wiped away at the tears, “I’m going to do everything I can to help. I’ll be there every time Castiel goes down to the barn so I can help with his behavior. Once he trusts you, I promise he won’t act like that.”
Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and groaned as he looked up in defeat. Everything was telling him to blow Anna off and continue on down the road, but there was just something about those big blue eyes and the stain on Anna’s shirt that was sucking him back. “Fine.”
Anna flung out of her stool and wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck, “Thank you! I’ll even give you a pay raise!”
“Yeah, you better,” Dean joked as he threw down a wad of money on the counter and stood. “But this is it, Anna. I mean it.”
Anna nodded vigorously. “I promise, if you want to leave again I won’t try and stop you.”
/*/
“Just say it,” Dean groaned at Chuck’s thousandth smile.
Chuck just grinned wider, “I have to say, I didn’t think Anna would be able to convince you to come back…but I’m glad you did, Dean. You love the horses and you do so well here.”
Bobby gave a snort as he dumped a shovel of horse poop into the wheel barrel. “Well he didn’t come back for the human company, that’s for damn sure.”
“Definitely not for you, old man,” Dean agreed with a smile.
“…Dean?”
Dean looked up to see a shocked Castiel standing in the middle of the aisle way. Chuck and Bobby instantly began taking their work elsewhere which caused an eye-roll from Dean. “Balthazar had a little heat in his front right leg this morning,” He spoke casually as he continued to re-arrange the brushes in the grooming bucket. “I put poultice on it and wrapped it back up. He isn’t lame, so I think he’ll be ok in the mor-oof!” Castiel buried his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and hugged his waist tightly. Dean stood there, not knowing what to do before slowly bringing his arms down and hugging the man back.
Traces of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.