Covered in Ash, Chapter 5
Title: Covered in Ash
Author: brittyzombie
Pairing(s): Dave/kurt Azimio/Mercedes
Rating: idk. pg-13? haha. There is cussing and usage of words like gay, fag, homo and so on.
5/?
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
He had sat down the flowers in his locker, and when Dave rounded the corner, all he heard was catcalls and a chorus of “Ow ow! Get some!” Kurt blushed deeper than he thought he ever could. How had things progressed like this? Was everyone here just more accepting than he thought? Or was it just because the two main bullies in the school backed down and grew up?
But that day when Dave formally asked him out felt like a day from hell. Which is odd, because everything went perfectly. He felt like he might wake up, was this some elaborate dream? Did someone plant this.. Notion to be nice to people in the heads of Azimio and Karofsky? Was this something like Inception? Maybe Kurt just thought too much.
It was weird, not being slushied. Kurt even started to not bring a second set of clothes, or spending a class period fixing his hair and showering. His clothes weren’t being ruined, which was amazing for his wallet as he could buy more clothes. Looking fabulous was his number one priority. Which was something he missed at Dalton. Sure, the uniform made it easy to get ready in the morning, but it was stuffy and constricting and hot. God it was hot. Not all parts of the campus was air conditioned. Kurt was thankful he left before the weather started getting really hot outside. And Blaine…
Blaine let the school get to him. Kurt tried to get his friend to join him in McKinley, but Blaine refused profusely. He didn’t want to leave his safe haven. Where he was accepted. His home. Finn had started calling Dalton Kurt’s own Gay Hogwarts. But that led Finn to ask Kurt if he felt like their home was like the Dursley’s. And a twinge of regret would run though his heart and settle in his gut. But kurt would just ignore it, and Finn would say something along the lines of, “Oh man don’t tell anyone I like Harry Potter! That’s really nerdy…” But kurt would just smile sweetly at his brother and tell him not to worry.
Kurt’s mind jolted back to the real world when his locker mate slammed their locker and walked off. Kurt paused a moment, and turned around, shutting his own locker.
This was going to be a long day.
He wasn’t surprised at how the day went. Dave crossed paths with Kurt one after he asked him out legitimately in front of the school, and Kurt turned around, before Dave could notice how beet-red he was. Dave just smiled, a renewed swagger in his steps. Dave figured Kurt ran off because at one side was his sister, and the other was Azimio. Naturally, Emily was sending dagger glares to Azimio, but the kid just smirked and fixed his letterman jacket. Dave had stopped wearing his, but he kept it in his truck, just in case he ever felt the need to have it again. It was more of a token of his past now. He kept it to remind himself that he didn’t have to be that person anymore, that he didn’t feel the need to feel compelled to cover his tracks. To hide who he is. To deny who he is.
Because the fact of the matter is, and everyone knew this, but Dave was gay. And he spent so long being closeted, and he was lucky, in a way. He could have spent his whole life in the closet, and found himself married to a woman, and have children, because he was too scared to be who he was. Every time Dave found himself imagining that future, that future he might have, it hurt more than thinking about crawling out of Narnia. Because what if he, in that painful future, finally found the courage to come out. Would he have ruined his wife’s life? His kids? He’d rather die than let that happen. And then that led to other things he didn’t want to focus on. He thought that future would hurt much more than actually being out and proud, instead of hitting his head against the closet door wishing he could change.
Dave was trying his hardest to be happy. But he too found himself thinking too much.
“Man I am so stoked for Friday, “Azimio said, a smile on his face, “It can’t come fast enough.”
Dave just nodded, and felt his hands start to sweat.
Brittany found Dave shortly after school that day, with Santana at her side. “So like. I heard that you’re like totally gay.”
“It makes sense. Because you rejected half of the cheerios team, including B and I.” Santana raised a brow and smiled.
“I totally want to be your hag.”
Santana laughed at her friend, “Really, Britt?”
“Why not?”
“Britt, first off. I told you I was gay a long time ago. Fuck, you were the first person I told. But you were drunk.”
“Oh.”
“Remember that party last summer? You tried getting in my pants and I told you I didn’t even want to kiss you and you got all sad? And then I just.. Well hugged you and told you that I’m gay.”
“Oh! And that you like K-”
“SHH.”
“But everyone knows, gayboy. You asked him out. You gave him rainbow flowers, that’s really gay.” Santana locked pinkies with her friend, “Don’t lie. You wanna tap that.”
“San!” Brittany giggled, “Can I be your hag?”
“Do you even know what a hag is, B?”
“Um. Mercedes. She’s totally Kurt’s hag.”
“Oh hoho! My girl is smart!” Brittany just beamed. Dave just looked at the two cheerios, and nodded to Brittany.
“Omigawd!”
“We’re a two for one deal, Davey. We’ll see you Friday before your date. We’re making sure you can leave the house. Byebye”
Dave just shook his head, smiling.
Emily quirked a brow, “Those two are totally in love with each other.” Azimio laughed.
“Girl, those two ain’t gay. They just besties is all.”
“Um. They are totally lesbians. You could see it in the one girls eyes and how she looked at the one who wants to be Dave’s hag. Totally.”
“Man, she is dating that guy in a wheelchair!”
“Um, have you not heard of ‘big gay beards’ Where someone who is gay uses someone from the opposite gender to hide their sexuality.”
“Like with Finn and Rachel!”
“Almost, but Finn is actually straight and Rachel is a creepy little adult baby.”
“I don’t see where you are going.”
“You’re dumb. They’re gay. End of story. No disputes. Don’t fight back. I don’t care.” And with that, Emily just left. Turned around and went in to her classroom. Azimio looked to Dave for answers but he just shrugged and left it as that.
The rest of the week was surprisingly quick and uneventful. Friday was hectic. Kurt found himself not only worrying about what he was going to wear, but also what Mercedes was going to wear. Kurt settled and looked surprisingly casual that night. He wore a soft faintly stripped black and dark grey thin sweater, a blue tee shirt, a leather jacket that he had stolen from Finn, faded dark jeans and a pair of black chucks. He felt well, adequate. Not fabulous but it would have to do. Now taking the time to adjust Mercedes date outfit would take longer. But she finally settled on a freakishly soft grey wrap-around sweater, over a purple silk top, a pair of skinny jeans tucked into knee high boots.
Now Mercedes was fabulous.
Brittany and Santana didn’t fail Dave. Well, they just embarrassed him. Of all the shirts they could have made him wear, they made him wear pink. It was a shirt he stashed away in the corner of his closet, hoping no one would ever see it. But they forced him on it. After a dozen comments from Santana about his chest hair, he was finally dressed. Pink shirt, black jacket, blue jeans, black shoes. Simple. Santana cracked a joke about how he was ready to go make gaybies with Kurt and that if he hurt him, she’d kick his ass and this time the boys wouldn’t have anything to do with it. Dave knew that Azimio wasn’t going to dress up, just wear a tee shirt and some jeans like normal.
Thankfully, they all found themselves on time. Kurt sat next to Mercedes, who sat across from Azimio, leaving Dave to sit across from Kurt. No one was too late, and no one sat there for 20 minutes waiting. But it just meant awkward fumbling with words. Until Kurt spoke up, looking directly at Azimio.
“So I used to think you were an idiot. Why fake it?”
But the large boy just shrugged, “I dunno, man. Just felt like it. You always pick on the ones you like, right? And I’m not saying I picked on you because I liked you, I picked on you because I like your girl here and you were the closest to her. So…I dunno.” Azimio just rubbed his neck, “Man it’s hard. I’m just a big teddy bear, I know I’ve got some spikes but everyone does. No one is perfect.”
“Sometimes people have to change to survive.” Dave added, his eyes on his plate, “Because if they didn’t change, if they refuse to change, then a part of them dies.”
“Totally. If I would continue to be an ass, I’d always be an ass. That’s not me, bro. I’m just a bit defensive.”
The silence overtook again, at least the silence between Kurt and Dave. Mercedes and Azimio were immersed in a conversation about music. Kurt locked eyes with Dave, and sat back.
“So I saw you sing.”
Dave’s grip on his fork tightened, remembering the night at the rock show a few months ago, “That’s silly, fancy. I don’t sing.”
“Oh I’m sure you do.”
He pursed his lips and composed himself, “Okay. So say I did sing, who was there? What did I sing?”
“I’m sure I could ask your sister. She was the guitarist after all. And I don‘t know, I don‘t follow heavy music.”
Curses. Foiled by his sister. Dave knew Emily would tell the kid everything regardless. She would smile so big her dimples appeared, and tell Kurt everything he wanted to hear.“I don’t sing.”
“Oh? I was there. I saw you. Blaine saw you.”
“Well then you saw that I don’t sing. I fucking rock.” Dave leaned back, a smirk on his face. Azimio smiled.
“Yeah my homie rocks! You and Em, man. A killer duo. Man, I know she hates me, but she can sure wail on that guitar.” He mimicked an air guitar for a moment before the look from Mercedes caused him to put his arms back down. Dave smiled and laughed.
“I guess it’s no secret that lately I’ve been joining my sister at her gigs because their vocalist left, “ he shrugged. “I don’t like singing. But I love rocking. It sort of makes me feel really bad ass. And before you ask, I’d never join glee. That’s no fun. I’d just fight with you all the time. Everyone knows that you guys have to fight for what you want to sing. I just want to do what I want to do, and that’s easy because the band listens to the same music as me.” Dave had found himself massacring the breadstick on his plate without even realizing it, and pushed the empty plate away.
The conversation after went smoothly afterwards. Azimio and Mercedes were.. Well you couldn’t say a word to them because it was like the world was only them. Kurt looked at them, a twinge of sadness in his eyes. He wished he could have that. But he sat here, across from Dave, telling himself he’d never have that. Wishing himself that he’d never have that with Dave off all people, but it was empty. Because when he did turn to face Dave, and they did talk, it was like the sounds from the restaurant dulled and the lights dimmed and it was only them. And something clicked, like someone flipped a switch. And Kurt found himself completely drawn to Dave, hanging on his every word.
If Dave could read minds, he’d agree with Kurt. It was like the world around them fell, and it was only them. And for a few hours in time, it felt great.