{fic} Closure 1/1
Author: HamHockLover
Title: Closure
Characters: Kurt Hummel & Dave Karofsky, ohh and Blaine
Timeline: At some point during senior year
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1200
A/N: I wish I knew where this thing came from. I'll probably read it next week and hate it so badly I'll want to delete it. But something occurred to me today. I love David Karofsky. So much! And sometimes (when I'm PMSing usually) I feel like I couldn't give a rat's ass about Kurt Hummel. He's bitchy, selfish, arrogant, manipulative and maybe...just maybe Blaine is exactly what he deserves. Maybe Dave can do better.
Summary: Dave realizes he can do better and stops pining after the drama queen.
“Um…yeah…ok…” Blaine cut through the awkward silence as Kurt locked eyes with Dave across the room. McKinley’s weekly GSA meeting had just broken up and they were putting away chairs and tidying up the room.
Dave had just asked if he could talk to Kurt about something. Alone.
Dave glanced at Blaine, looking down apologetically and opening his mouth to speak but Blaine beat him to it. “No, it’s alright. Really. I’ll go get the car, Kurt.” And he was gone, just like that. Either confident and trusting in his relationship with his boyfriend…or just naïve and asking to be cheated on.
Dave didn’t care. It didn’t matter. He just needed the answer to one question. One simple question.
Kurt turned back to the row of chairs, lifting them one by one and setting them on top of the other. “What did you want, David?” He wasn’t sure if his tone was snippy enough. He didn’t want Dave thinking he could take advantage of Blaine’s kindness. Or naivety.
“I just wanted to know…” Dave began softly then stopped. He looked down, rethinking what he wanted to say. And almost changing his mind about wanting to know the answer anymore anyway. What did it matter? Kurt was happy. Dave didn’t have a problem with the ridiculous midget equally addicted to hair-gel as he was to the spot-light. Kurt seemed to be happy. And wasn’t that the important thing?
Kurt turned when he realized Dave had stopped talking. They locked eyes again. Those eyes…they were like the cruelest tractor beam imaginable…immediately sucking Dave in. It was unfair how he lost all power each and every time he was caught in Kurt’s sight. “I just need to know if I could have had a chance,” he blurted out. “I know you’re with him…and that’s fine. Really. I know you’re happy. You look happy at least…and that’s great. But if he wasn’t around…if things were different between us and if things had gone down differently in the beginning, would I have a chance?”
Kurt bristled slightly, standing taller and squaring his shoulders. He saw the pain, the ever-present pain in Karofsky’s eyes. He hadn’t seen it in a while, honestly…but it was back. Dave had come a long way since Prom, when he told Kurt he couldn’t come out. Because he did. It was senior year and he’d finally found the strength to come out at McKinley. And now, months later, after battling back and reasserting himself near the top of the social food chain, even now…Kurt still saw that pain.
A thought occurred to Kurt at that moment. He’d always assumed Dave’s signature ‘look of pain’ that only he’d been privy to was singularly related to Dave’s sad little excuse for a life lived in denial, locked in that closet he built around himself. But now…seeing him, seeing that look still…Kurt thought maybe it had more to do with him than he thought.
“Honestly…?” Kurt asked.
“I just want to know, Kurt. Hypothetically, if it makes you feel better about answering. If there was no Blaine…did I mess everything up when I lost control and kissed you or could there still be a chance?”
“Not when you kissed me,” Kurt answered matter-of-factly, crossing his arms moralistically over his chest. “I won’t bother with hypotheticals. This is easy enough and I have no problem being honest with you. At that point, when you kissed me…I felt nothing for you but pity. I thought it was my duty to help you. That’s why I asked Blaine for help and, well…we know how well that turned out.”
Dave stared at the ground. Hearing Kurt’s version of the events hurt a little worse than remembering them himself.
“It wasn’t until you said you would kill me if I told anyone your secret…that’s when it was over and done with in my mind.”
Dave snapped his head up. “You don’t really think…still, you don’t think I would have hurt you? Do you, Kurt?”
“Of course not. And I didn’t then, to be honest. But it doesn’t matter. You said it. Whether you were scared, confused, freaked out…it doesn’t matter. There was no excuse for threatening me. If you hadn’t have crossed that line, then who knows. We might be actual friends…instead of this strained co-existence we have going on now.”
Dave stared at the floor again. He nodded his head, thinking through what Kurt was saying.
“Whether you’ve apologized, come out, made amends, made changes…all that is fine but still…useless and inadequate to make up for what you did and how you made me feel. I can forgive you but I’ll never forget.”
There was a heavy, almost suffocating silence hanging between them. Dave stared down at the floor still. Kurt stood, arms still crossed over his chest, perfecting yet again the look of haughty self-righteousness that only Kurt Hummel could pull off.
“Thank you,” Dave finally replied. He looked up, meeting Kurt’s eyes. He had the most serene look of calm spread across his face and he almost smiled. “Thank you, Kurt,” he said again.
Kurt huffed. “For what?”
“For helping me see…god…this feels really great,” he answered, distracted for a moment and looking around the room with a fresh pair of eyes. He took a deep breath, looking back at Kurt and offering that same calm, serene expression. “I always thought you were perfect, Kurt. Perfect in every way. From your clothes…as ridiculous as they are…to your voice, as angelic as it is. I thought everything about you was perfect. But I was wrong.”
Kurt’s jaw went slack and he blinked.
“I wanted to be with you so badly…because I knew…somehow I knew that the Kurt Hummel that I was in love with would be perfect and forgiving and able to look past the stupid mistakes of a scared closet-case once he really got to know him. But you…you’re hung up on a death threat that you admit you know wasn’t real. You say you can forgive me but you’ll never forget?” Dave shook his head, incredulous as he stared down at Kurt. “But let me tell you something, real forgiveness is forgetting. Being able to see someone day after day and not remember the bad but only see and only look for the good. You haven’t forgiven me…not really. You’ve just decided to tolerate me. And I deserve better than that.”
Dave took a few steps forward and Kurt flinched…thinking Dave was coming at him, to grab him or god forbid…kiss him. He licked his lips reflexively, defiantly lifting his chin…ready for whatever it was Dave had in store for him. But Dave walked past…right past where Kurt stood and grabbed his coat. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and turned back to Kurt’s shocked expression.
“Yeah, thanks, Kurt. I thought I loved you. I thought I wanted to be with you. But I don’t anymore. Now that I see you for the petty, self-righteous little drama queen that you are. I’m finally over you. I think…” Dave looked down, chuckling slightly as he buttoned up his coat, “I think I can do better, Kurt. I definitely know I deserve better. And…I think this is what they call closure. Wow...feels great. Thanks.”
“So…what was that about?” Blaine asked as Kurt slipped quietly into the car.
“Nothing, nothing at all. Will you please just drive.”
“Jeez,” Blaine mumbled under his breath, “someone’s being a little drama queen.”
Title: Closure
Characters: Kurt Hummel & Dave Karofsky, ohh and Blaine
Timeline: At some point during senior year
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1200
A/N: I wish I knew where this thing came from. I'll probably read it next week and hate it so badly I'll want to delete it. But something occurred to me today. I love David Karofsky. So much! And sometimes (when I'm PMSing usually) I feel like I couldn't give a rat's ass about Kurt Hummel. He's bitchy, selfish, arrogant, manipulative and maybe...just maybe Blaine is exactly what he deserves. Maybe Dave can do better.
Summary: Dave realizes he can do better and stops pining after the drama queen.
“Um…yeah…ok…” Blaine cut through the awkward silence as Kurt locked eyes with Dave across the room. McKinley’s weekly GSA meeting had just broken up and they were putting away chairs and tidying up the room.
Dave had just asked if he could talk to Kurt about something. Alone.
Dave glanced at Blaine, looking down apologetically and opening his mouth to speak but Blaine beat him to it. “No, it’s alright. Really. I’ll go get the car, Kurt.” And he was gone, just like that. Either confident and trusting in his relationship with his boyfriend…or just naïve and asking to be cheated on.
Dave didn’t care. It didn’t matter. He just needed the answer to one question. One simple question.
Kurt turned back to the row of chairs, lifting them one by one and setting them on top of the other. “What did you want, David?” He wasn’t sure if his tone was snippy enough. He didn’t want Dave thinking he could take advantage of Blaine’s kindness. Or naivety.
“I just wanted to know…” Dave began softly then stopped. He looked down, rethinking what he wanted to say. And almost changing his mind about wanting to know the answer anymore anyway. What did it matter? Kurt was happy. Dave didn’t have a problem with the ridiculous midget equally addicted to hair-gel as he was to the spot-light. Kurt seemed to be happy. And wasn’t that the important thing?
Kurt turned when he realized Dave had stopped talking. They locked eyes again. Those eyes…they were like the cruelest tractor beam imaginable…immediately sucking Dave in. It was unfair how he lost all power each and every time he was caught in Kurt’s sight. “I just need to know if I could have had a chance,” he blurted out. “I know you’re with him…and that’s fine. Really. I know you’re happy. You look happy at least…and that’s great. But if he wasn’t around…if things were different between us and if things had gone down differently in the beginning, would I have a chance?”
Kurt bristled slightly, standing taller and squaring his shoulders. He saw the pain, the ever-present pain in Karofsky’s eyes. He hadn’t seen it in a while, honestly…but it was back. Dave had come a long way since Prom, when he told Kurt he couldn’t come out. Because he did. It was senior year and he’d finally found the strength to come out at McKinley. And now, months later, after battling back and reasserting himself near the top of the social food chain, even now…Kurt still saw that pain.
A thought occurred to Kurt at that moment. He’d always assumed Dave’s signature ‘look of pain’ that only he’d been privy to was singularly related to Dave’s sad little excuse for a life lived in denial, locked in that closet he built around himself. But now…seeing him, seeing that look still…Kurt thought maybe it had more to do with him than he thought.
“Honestly…?” Kurt asked.
“I just want to know, Kurt. Hypothetically, if it makes you feel better about answering. If there was no Blaine…did I mess everything up when I lost control and kissed you or could there still be a chance?”
“Not when you kissed me,” Kurt answered matter-of-factly, crossing his arms moralistically over his chest. “I won’t bother with hypotheticals. This is easy enough and I have no problem being honest with you. At that point, when you kissed me…I felt nothing for you but pity. I thought it was my duty to help you. That’s why I asked Blaine for help and, well…we know how well that turned out.”
Dave stared at the ground. Hearing Kurt’s version of the events hurt a little worse than remembering them himself.
“It wasn’t until you said you would kill me if I told anyone your secret…that’s when it was over and done with in my mind.”
Dave snapped his head up. “You don’t really think…still, you don’t think I would have hurt you? Do you, Kurt?”
“Of course not. And I didn’t then, to be honest. But it doesn’t matter. You said it. Whether you were scared, confused, freaked out…it doesn’t matter. There was no excuse for threatening me. If you hadn’t have crossed that line, then who knows. We might be actual friends…instead of this strained co-existence we have going on now.”
Dave stared at the floor again. He nodded his head, thinking through what Kurt was saying.
“Whether you’ve apologized, come out, made amends, made changes…all that is fine but still…useless and inadequate to make up for what you did and how you made me feel. I can forgive you but I’ll never forget.”
There was a heavy, almost suffocating silence hanging between them. Dave stared down at the floor still. Kurt stood, arms still crossed over his chest, perfecting yet again the look of haughty self-righteousness that only Kurt Hummel could pull off.
“Thank you,” Dave finally replied. He looked up, meeting Kurt’s eyes. He had the most serene look of calm spread across his face and he almost smiled. “Thank you, Kurt,” he said again.
Kurt huffed. “For what?”
“For helping me see…god…this feels really great,” he answered, distracted for a moment and looking around the room with a fresh pair of eyes. He took a deep breath, looking back at Kurt and offering that same calm, serene expression. “I always thought you were perfect, Kurt. Perfect in every way. From your clothes…as ridiculous as they are…to your voice, as angelic as it is. I thought everything about you was perfect. But I was wrong.”
Kurt’s jaw went slack and he blinked.
“I wanted to be with you so badly…because I knew…somehow I knew that the Kurt Hummel that I was in love with would be perfect and forgiving and able to look past the stupid mistakes of a scared closet-case once he really got to know him. But you…you’re hung up on a death threat that you admit you know wasn’t real. You say you can forgive me but you’ll never forget?” Dave shook his head, incredulous as he stared down at Kurt. “But let me tell you something, real forgiveness is forgetting. Being able to see someone day after day and not remember the bad but only see and only look for the good. You haven’t forgiven me…not really. You’ve just decided to tolerate me. And I deserve better than that.”
Dave took a few steps forward and Kurt flinched…thinking Dave was coming at him, to grab him or god forbid…kiss him. He licked his lips reflexively, defiantly lifting his chin…ready for whatever it was Dave had in store for him. But Dave walked past…right past where Kurt stood and grabbed his coat. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and turned back to Kurt’s shocked expression.
“Yeah, thanks, Kurt. I thought I loved you. I thought I wanted to be with you. But I don’t anymore. Now that I see you for the petty, self-righteous little drama queen that you are. I’m finally over you. I think…” Dave looked down, chuckling slightly as he buttoned up his coat, “I think I can do better, Kurt. I definitely know I deserve better. And…I think this is what they call closure. Wow...feels great. Thanks.”
“So…what was that about?” Blaine asked as Kurt slipped quietly into the car.
“Nothing, nothing at all. Will you please just drive.”
“Jeez,” Blaine mumbled under his breath, “someone’s being a little drama queen.”