Won’t Get Fooled Again

[karmasoup]

Learning Curve

I married a man who doesn’t like to make a big deal about his birthday.  I don’t understand this, and I can’t relate to it.  I come from a big family, where every birthday is an opportunity to express to a loved one, in a very specific way,

“I’m grateful you’re alive.
                I’m happy you’re in my life.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs. So well thought out.

[karmasoup]

Thanks. I don't know if I really did that much thinking about it back then... other than being a bit shocked, and feeling a little guilty when I eventually did just cut them off with no notice, but, again, it was when they hadn't communicated with us in months, either... no sense in just hanging onto an idea that had clearly been a mistake.

[favoritebean]

Hugs. It's really hard being stuck in a neighborhood or group where you're deemed the token. I'm glad you were able to move on from those racist folk.

[karmasoup]

My husband and I are often the tokens where we live, because there's not a lot of African Americans connected to nerd culture here, and most natives primarily associate with other natives. It's normally not that big of a deal, in that, we obviously gravitate naturally towards friendships with folks for whom our race / ethnicity is wholly an absolute non-issue. But, Minnesota is a hardcore blue state, so every time we see a red hat, it's still a bit of a shock to the system. :-/

[lyssa027]

We once tried to plan a gaming group in our neighborhood, but after finding people, it fell through and no one actually planned anything

I've had similar issues. I'm from NJ and moved to Texas, and a lot of the people that I've gotten to know here, are much different on social media, than I thought they would be, and I can't deal with people, who only see their side as the right side

[karmasoup]

Yeah.... I know from experience planning things for nerds can be a bit like trying to herd cats. I remember reading about your journey to Texas, and thinking - you being a nerdy type, too - you are clearly made of sterner stuff than me... but good for you! ;-) There's a lot of ugliness in politics right now, and we the people are so divided... I miss the days when our culture knew how to talk things through and work it out.

[rayaso]

This was fascinating. I just followed the flow and really enjoyed the ending and your thoughts along the way.

[karmasoup]

Thanks very much! (Btw, in my head, I just heard you saying that in Leonard Nimoy's voice.)

[rayaso]

Younger Nimoy or older, gravel-voiced Nimoy?

[karmasoup]

Why, the older, more wizened version, of course - way cooler!

[banana_galaxy]

Oh man. I don't know how I'd deal with that kind of discovery after the fact. It's been rare for me to encounter someone that extreme in their idology that's so far removed from my own.

[karmasoup]

I hear that. It has for me, too... I would think it's a rarity for those divergent personal spectrums to coexist in the same individuals. There was a part of me that just felt the whole thing didn't compute... to have someone who thinks that way cross over into territory that normally errs on the side of extreme leftists... I mean, I can see how we were surprised... I still just don't even get it how that was even possible.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like nerds can't be republicans, and most of my friends who are aligned with the right side of politics are also nerds who have learned how to fit in with very socially liberal folks because they don't really disagree on those kinds of issues. Though, I'm sure even these people would tell you're they have nothing against anyone in a protected class, too. But anyone saying so really doesn't mean that much at all when their vote supports policies that harm those people. I'm also kinda wondering if they were ever able to make any "likeminded" friends in the area. :-/