Fic: Things she wanted (RPF)
Title: Things she wanted
Author: karlamartinova
Pairing: David Tennant/Catherine Tate
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R
Disclaimer: No, no, no, I am not in any way associated with Mr. Tennant and Miss Tate, they are real people with real lives. I am just a sick person playing with something that is not mine and if I get the chance, I will apologize:)
AN: I wrote this through very confusing time and it kinda resonates there, its a sequel to The Power of the Right Argument.
Summary: “There always will be things you won’t ever have, Catherine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something different.”
...
Catherine expected the world to end. She kept having dreams, no nightmares about fire and ice, zombies and to her own amusements, Daleks.
David was in those dreams too, but always very far away, on the other side of the river, on the opposite building. Catherine couldn’t reach him, but his words were clear to her every single time.
“Why didn’t you stop it? Why did you let me make that horrible mistake? You destroyed my life, Catherine,” his words were like swords and needles, anything sharp that made her heart burn.
But the worst about it was that what he called a terrible mistake; she couldn’t help but call the most perfect night of her life.
…
Twig left her life as quietly as he entered it. One day his clothes were neatly folded next to hers and other day, they weren’t. She didn’t comment on it and when her mother asked, Catherine said they were having problems for some time already. She wasn’t even lying.
…
She never felt nervous in the spotlight, it was her second nature. The life she chose to live, the one she was so good at. The real life of Catherine Tate wasn’t as successful.
“Many people are wondering if David’s split with Georgia has anything to do with yours split with Twig, hmm, Catherine, what would you say to us?” Graham asks and she wonders if this was the reason he invited her today.
She suspected it wasn’t her lack of screen time in the last few months.
To her horror, Catherine doesn’t stop the light blush that colors her cheeks, she is redhead, and she can’t help it. Graham looks like he didn’t notice it and she fights the answer the best way she can.
With humor.
“I ain’t bovved!” Catherine retorts in the meanest voice she can muster and there is a massive laugh from the audience, the young singer she never heard of before looks strangely at her and Graham doesn’t comment on it anymore.
She knows he has already his answer.
…
David is buried deep inside her when there is a soft knock on her bedroom door. The knock is followed by her mother’s voice: “Catherine, sweetheart, are you feeling well?”
Catherine swallows the moan that was making its way from her throat and pushes him of her. David doesn’t argue, he quickly moves to the other side of her bed to find his clothes. She observes his moving back, the soft skin that is scratched by her nails. His hair is slightly longer and Catherine has an overwhelming urge to run her hand through it.
She always had a strange way of dealing with things she didn’t want to deal with.
“Yes, mum,” Catherine answers and sincerely hopes that she will wait outside. But complications don’t work this way and her mum had a great habit of turning up in the worst possible times. David looks at her sideways, a slight worry at her face and for a moment Catherine is sure he doesn’t want her mother to see him because he is ashamed. This isn’t real, Catherine, the malicious voice says in her head and she sees a green face and red hat in her mind.
She sees the knob turning and she should stand from the bed, stop her mother from opening the door but something is stopping her. Maybe she needs that wake up call; maybe she needs to know how David will deal with this situation.
Catherine isn’t sure how much time has passed, she still sees David looking for his pants, she still sees the door knob turning. The film is too slow; pictures are passing as someone was drawing them, a big hand above her hand.
She wants someone to rule her life.
“Oh, David,” her mother gasps when the door are opened and he is standing bare-chested near the bed. Catherine wants to say: “It isn’t like it looks like”, but she stopped to do shity retorts as soon as someone called her talented.
…
Her head feels full. It’s full of worry and guilt. But mostly is full of David, because he caused it all. He wanted something he shouldn’t have. Catherine knows she would have dealt with it eventually, she would forbid herself think about him, she did it too many times to make this difficult.
“There always will be things you won’t ever have, Catherine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something different,” her mom told her when she was in that difficult age.
And this piece of advice lived with her for too long.
Catherine wished to understand, to do things like everyone else, instead she became everyone else. She wanted to be alone and independent, never feel the need to be needed, instead she met Twig and started a family with him.
She wanted David from the start, but this was a wish she never ever expected to have fulfilled. It was too surreal, too normal.
But right now, Catherine doesn’t like the feel of normalcy at all.
…
They call it dating. He takes her for a dinner, they go to parties, premieres, he takes her dancing.
But they never come in the same car, those meeting are meant to be accidental and he isn’t supposed to touch her below her lower back. David doesn’t offer her more and she forbids herself to ask for it.
…
“I love you, Catherine,” David whispers all of sudden and she is surprised that it isn’t something she wanted to hear. It doesn’t work according to her plan.
She touches his cheek, it feels smooth under her palm and David closes his eyes. There is a very peaceful look on his features and Catherine wonders. Does he really feel that this is right? Doesn’t he miss the feel of them being friends? Doesn’t he miss Georgia?
Catherine misses Twig sometimes. He wasn’t complicated and he always worked according to her plan. He said he loved her only when she really wanted to hear it.
“No,” she whispers back and opens his eyes to show her confusion. She kisses it away.
…
“Catherine, are you sure about this?” her mother asks her four days after she saw naked David in Catherine’s bedroom. She is shocked that she asked her after such a long time.
“No,” Catherine says and wonders why the right answer is “no” suddenly.
…
David’s father will turn 7O next week and he asks her to go to Scotland with him. The thought scares her to death. It just might be the sign she waited for, David wants her to meet her family and it will start the rumor mill. They might be a celebrity couple next week.
Catherine thinks she wanted that, wanted to be sure that she isn’t just a won prize, that David didn’t want just because he shouldn’t have her. He wants them real. She wants to want the same. But life would be too good. She isn’t ready to deal with that.
“I can’t, it’s too soon,” Catherine tells him and his sad face seeds more into her conflicted soul. But he is conflicted too.
“Don’t you want this?” he asks her and takes her hand into his. It means them, it means having his hand in hers for the rest of their lives and she didn’t see it because the fear is blinding her.
“I’m not sure anymore,” she says and honestly thinks she is telling the truth.
David hides more questions in one single kiss and that’s always something she couldn’t lie at.
…
“I will stay for few more days; I’ve met my former classmates and they have some interesting projects for me,” David says into the phone and his voice sounds more distant. She count the miles in her head, but stops at 408, it just makes her head ache.
“Sure,” there is something stuck into her throat. She feels that crying will help to get it out.
“I miss you,” his voice is warm, it always was. He makes her feel it like a blanket around her shoulders. Catherine misses him too but she is too busy to free her throat and there is some noise on the phone.
When the call disconnects, the sob finally escapes.
…
“What are you going to do with your life, Catherine?”
She wonders what the right answer is.
…
Their lovemaking feels desperate when he comes back. Something changed and Catherine can feel it in the kisses, touches. David looks like he holds a secret and she is still very afraid to ask.
He traces her back with his palm, he memorizes her, she can tell. She is a piece of text he needs for his life, but you forget them in time.
They fade and became just a memory and when David buries his face in her hair and whispers her name louder than she moans his, Catherine starts to realize, that being a memory isn’t something she wants.
She wants to be the present and the future; she wants to learn to accept what the life has to offer.
…
“What are you going to do with your life, Catherine?”
“Live it.”
There really isn’t any right answer.
…
The invitation is stuck in her tea cabinet between jasmine tea and something fruity her mother enjoys most of the time. It looks posh with golden letters and expensive paper. It looks like a promise to her.
…
There was a reason Catherine didn’t usually accept these invitations. It meant people and cameras, curious question and even more curious eyes. She isn’t the main “thing” of this event, but she did stir the waters of British daily life.
They ask her about her new projects and she feels better when she has some to talk about. Stand up is something she always wanted to try. The reporter looks surprised, Catherine can tell that, but still, she expected something more exciting and moves on.
Someone touches her hand from behind.
“I didn’t know you want to stay on the stage,” David tells her because they talked about Hollywood and romantic comedies scripts.
“I didn’t know it myself,” she says and smiles. His hand is still holding hers like there weren’t cameras all around them and for the first time Catherine isn’t afraid of anything.
He smiles at her too.
“Are there more things you didn’t know?” his question is trying to find an answer she finally has. It was a long journey. Catherine never really made any decision; the power was taken out of her hands long time ago with one single advice her mother used to make her feel better. But she couldn’t blame her, she was a coward and they never really have a choice.
She nods slightly, her smile turning a little flirty. There are all of sudden more lights, more people, more question but David answers them all quite simply.
The kiss feels like the first one should have.
Author: karlamartinova
Pairing: David Tennant/Catherine Tate
Genre: Angst, Romance
Rating: R
Disclaimer: No, no, no, I am not in any way associated with Mr. Tennant and Miss Tate, they are real people with real lives. I am just a sick person playing with something that is not mine and if I get the chance, I will apologize:)
AN: I wrote this through very confusing time and it kinda resonates there, its a sequel to The Power of the Right Argument.
Summary: “There always will be things you won’t ever have, Catherine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something different.”
...
Catherine expected the world to end. She kept having dreams, no nightmares about fire and ice, zombies and to her own amusements, Daleks.
David was in those dreams too, but always very far away, on the other side of the river, on the opposite building. Catherine couldn’t reach him, but his words were clear to her every single time.
“Why didn’t you stop it? Why did you let me make that horrible mistake? You destroyed my life, Catherine,” his words were like swords and needles, anything sharp that made her heart burn.
But the worst about it was that what he called a terrible mistake; she couldn’t help but call the most perfect night of her life.
…
Twig left her life as quietly as he entered it. One day his clothes were neatly folded next to hers and other day, they weren’t. She didn’t comment on it and when her mother asked, Catherine said they were having problems for some time already. She wasn’t even lying.
…
She never felt nervous in the spotlight, it was her second nature. The life she chose to live, the one she was so good at. The real life of Catherine Tate wasn’t as successful.
“Many people are wondering if David’s split with Georgia has anything to do with yours split with Twig, hmm, Catherine, what would you say to us?” Graham asks and she wonders if this was the reason he invited her today.
She suspected it wasn’t her lack of screen time in the last few months.
To her horror, Catherine doesn’t stop the light blush that colors her cheeks, she is redhead, and she can’t help it. Graham looks like he didn’t notice it and she fights the answer the best way she can.
With humor.
“I ain’t bovved!” Catherine retorts in the meanest voice she can muster and there is a massive laugh from the audience, the young singer she never heard of before looks strangely at her and Graham doesn’t comment on it anymore.
She knows he has already his answer.
…
David is buried deep inside her when there is a soft knock on her bedroom door. The knock is followed by her mother’s voice: “Catherine, sweetheart, are you feeling well?”
Catherine swallows the moan that was making its way from her throat and pushes him of her. David doesn’t argue, he quickly moves to the other side of her bed to find his clothes. She observes his moving back, the soft skin that is scratched by her nails. His hair is slightly longer and Catherine has an overwhelming urge to run her hand through it.
She always had a strange way of dealing with things she didn’t want to deal with.
“Yes, mum,” Catherine answers and sincerely hopes that she will wait outside. But complications don’t work this way and her mum had a great habit of turning up in the worst possible times. David looks at her sideways, a slight worry at her face and for a moment Catherine is sure he doesn’t want her mother to see him because he is ashamed. This isn’t real, Catherine, the malicious voice says in her head and she sees a green face and red hat in her mind.
She sees the knob turning and she should stand from the bed, stop her mother from opening the door but something is stopping her. Maybe she needs that wake up call; maybe she needs to know how David will deal with this situation.
Catherine isn’t sure how much time has passed, she still sees David looking for his pants, she still sees the door knob turning. The film is too slow; pictures are passing as someone was drawing them, a big hand above her hand.
She wants someone to rule her life.
“Oh, David,” her mother gasps when the door are opened and he is standing bare-chested near the bed. Catherine wants to say: “It isn’t like it looks like”, but she stopped to do shity retorts as soon as someone called her talented.
…
Her head feels full. It’s full of worry and guilt. But mostly is full of David, because he caused it all. He wanted something he shouldn’t have. Catherine knows she would have dealt with it eventually, she would forbid herself think about him, she did it too many times to make this difficult.
“There always will be things you won’t ever have, Catherine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something different,” her mom told her when she was in that difficult age.
And this piece of advice lived with her for too long.
Catherine wished to understand, to do things like everyone else, instead she became everyone else. She wanted to be alone and independent, never feel the need to be needed, instead she met Twig and started a family with him.
She wanted David from the start, but this was a wish she never ever expected to have fulfilled. It was too surreal, too normal.
But right now, Catherine doesn’t like the feel of normalcy at all.
…
They call it dating. He takes her for a dinner, they go to parties, premieres, he takes her dancing.
But they never come in the same car, those meeting are meant to be accidental and he isn’t supposed to touch her below her lower back. David doesn’t offer her more and she forbids herself to ask for it.
…
“I love you, Catherine,” David whispers all of sudden and she is surprised that it isn’t something she wanted to hear. It doesn’t work according to her plan.
She touches his cheek, it feels smooth under her palm and David closes his eyes. There is a very peaceful look on his features and Catherine wonders. Does he really feel that this is right? Doesn’t he miss the feel of them being friends? Doesn’t he miss Georgia?
Catherine misses Twig sometimes. He wasn’t complicated and he always worked according to her plan. He said he loved her only when she really wanted to hear it.
“No,” she whispers back and opens his eyes to show her confusion. She kisses it away.
…
“Catherine, are you sure about this?” her mother asks her four days after she saw naked David in Catherine’s bedroom. She is shocked that she asked her after such a long time.
“No,” Catherine says and wonders why the right answer is “no” suddenly.
…
David’s father will turn 7O next week and he asks her to go to Scotland with him. The thought scares her to death. It just might be the sign she waited for, David wants her to meet her family and it will start the rumor mill. They might be a celebrity couple next week.
Catherine thinks she wanted that, wanted to be sure that she isn’t just a won prize, that David didn’t want just because he shouldn’t have her. He wants them real. She wants to want the same. But life would be too good. She isn’t ready to deal with that.
“I can’t, it’s too soon,” Catherine tells him and his sad face seeds more into her conflicted soul. But he is conflicted too.
“Don’t you want this?” he asks her and takes her hand into his. It means them, it means having his hand in hers for the rest of their lives and she didn’t see it because the fear is blinding her.
“I’m not sure anymore,” she says and honestly thinks she is telling the truth.
David hides more questions in one single kiss and that’s always something she couldn’t lie at.
…
“I will stay for few more days; I’ve met my former classmates and they have some interesting projects for me,” David says into the phone and his voice sounds more distant. She count the miles in her head, but stops at 408, it just makes her head ache.
“Sure,” there is something stuck into her throat. She feels that crying will help to get it out.
“I miss you,” his voice is warm, it always was. He makes her feel it like a blanket around her shoulders. Catherine misses him too but she is too busy to free her throat and there is some noise on the phone.
When the call disconnects, the sob finally escapes.
…
“What are you going to do with your life, Catherine?”
She wonders what the right answer is.
…
Their lovemaking feels desperate when he comes back. Something changed and Catherine can feel it in the kisses, touches. David looks like he holds a secret and she is still very afraid to ask.
He traces her back with his palm, he memorizes her, she can tell. She is a piece of text he needs for his life, but you forget them in time.
They fade and became just a memory and when David buries his face in her hair and whispers her name louder than she moans his, Catherine starts to realize, that being a memory isn’t something she wants.
She wants to be the present and the future; she wants to learn to accept what the life has to offer.
…
“What are you going to do with your life, Catherine?”
“Live it.”
There really isn’t any right answer.
…
The invitation is stuck in her tea cabinet between jasmine tea and something fruity her mother enjoys most of the time. It looks posh with golden letters and expensive paper. It looks like a promise to her.
…
There was a reason Catherine didn’t usually accept these invitations. It meant people and cameras, curious question and even more curious eyes. She isn’t the main “thing” of this event, but she did stir the waters of British daily life.
They ask her about her new projects and she feels better when she has some to talk about. Stand up is something she always wanted to try. The reporter looks surprised, Catherine can tell that, but still, she expected something more exciting and moves on.
Someone touches her hand from behind.
“I didn’t know you want to stay on the stage,” David tells her because they talked about Hollywood and romantic comedies scripts.
“I didn’t know it myself,” she says and smiles. His hand is still holding hers like there weren’t cameras all around them and for the first time Catherine isn’t afraid of anything.
He smiles at her too.
“Are there more things you didn’t know?” his question is trying to find an answer she finally has. It was a long journey. Catherine never really made any decision; the power was taken out of her hands long time ago with one single advice her mother used to make her feel better. But she couldn’t blame her, she was a coward and they never really have a choice.
She nods slightly, her smile turning a little flirty. There are all of sudden more lights, more people, more question but David answers them all quite simply.
The kiss feels like the first one should have.