Fic: Haven (1/3)
In response to faythbrady's challenge, (give me Doctor chasing Rose), I give you...well, the Doctor chasing Rose. And my first multi-parter!
Title: Haven (1/3)
Author: karenor
Rating: this chapter PG-13, higher for the rest
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Rose Tyler
Spoilers: set right after The Satan Pit, so spoilers up to that.
Disclaimer: BBC own all. Including my soul. I'd like it back one day please. Maybe.
Beta: the lovely kalleah
Summary: He wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly decided, earlier, to throw caution to the wind.
Their lips separated with an audible wet sound as Rose pushed him away and staggered back towards the door leading to the interior of the ship, eyes wide as her hand came up to touch her lips where his had just been.
He was almost pleased to see her so affected by his kiss, but became less so as it seemed increasingly clear that she intended to leave the room. Without him.
Rose recovered apparent equilibrium quickly.
“Haven’t got the devil in you have you?” Oh she played a good game. Her eyes were sparkling with mirth, but he knew her, knew the minute aspects of her expression well enough to know he’d just greatly unsettled her. She was confused. Backpedaling. A straight-thinking Rose wouldn’t have joked about the recent traumatizing events so soon. She was walking away and putting a stop to whatever this was because she didn’t understand it.
Oh Rose. It seemed neither of them had come out of this undamaged.
“It felt like we were on that base for ages. I’m going to have a shower and a bit of a kip. G’night Doctor.”
“Right, ok. See you later then.”
* * *
Not much later, the Doctor found himself at Rose’s bedroom door. He’d fiddled with the console, he’d had a walk about a few of the longer corridors. He’d thought about making tea and then changed his mind. When it was clear Rose was gone for the night, he changed into his regular nighttime attire, just his suit trousers and one shirt, then considered having a lie down himself, but knew his restless mind wouldn’t go for that just yet. Things to settle.
He wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly decided, earlier, to throw caution to the wind. To grab Rose and snog her quite soundly. It wasn’t just almost losing her or almost losing the Tardis. It wasn’t just joy to have her back. Dammit it was just time.
Maybe the events did put things a bit into perspective. He was tired of pretending he didn’t want Rose. But he never thought, that whenever he’d finally got around to making his move, so to speak, that she’d reject him. Maybe it was arrogance on his part, but he honestly never thought he’d have to seduce her. He thought she’d been waiting for him. That she’d be ready when he was.
He could hear her rustling about in her room, but the movement stilled when he knocked gently on her door.
There was no answer.
Oh, not good if she was going to pretend to be asleep. He’d mucked things up well. Just with a kiss? Wasn’t it what she wanted?
He sighed loudly in exasperation and leaned his forehead against the cool wood-like door, and spoke just loud enough for her to hear through it, “Rose, I know you’re awake.”
He didn’t know, however, that now she was just at the other side. And when she suddenly flung open the door he practically tumbled through it into her arms.
He righted himself quickly and muttered embarrassed apologies at her. She released him just as quickly and went to sit cross-legged on her bed, picking up a book that she’d dropped there as if he’d just disturbed her in a read and she had every intention of returning to the task presently.
He merely gaped at her for some moments. She was dressed for bed, soft cotton pyjama bottoms in an indeterminate pattern of pastels and a loose plain white tee. Her hair was damp and her face clean and he longed to breathe all of her in. To memorize each bit of her. Oh very occasionally after their more dangerous jaunts, whenever they’d barely made it out with their lives, or extra-barely, he’d come to her room. Have a chat, make sure she was ok. But it was still rare that he’d see her quite like this. Unguarded without her armor of makeup and rough denim.
But it wasn’t yet his privilege to look at room as he was doing, with a lover’s eyes. This is what he needed to remedy. And soon or he might go mad from it.
She was looking at him now, as he stood still somewhat awkwardly near her doorway. She had a question poised on her full lips and reflected in her gaze and slightly arched eyebrows, but she didn’t speak.
He glanced around himself briefly, shook himself slightly, awakening from his daze. Swiftly, he closed the door and took the few steps to her bed, came to stand just at the foot of it, and stared back at her.
The proximity caused her to back her gaze down and she suddenly became very interested in the pattern of the duvet. She was withdrawing into herself again, trying to escape as she had when she’d practically fled the control room and he couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Finally, he spoke.
“Rose, I kissed you.”
That caused her head to snap up at him. Now he couldn’t tell at all what he was seeing in her eyes. Determination? Was it anger? But she was still playing at being flippant.
“I know, hurray we’ve won. Glad I’m alive, all that.”
“Is that what it felt like?” It was low, husky, almost a growl and even he wasn’t sure where that had come from.
Her eyes widened at his question and its implications. They widened further still as he crawled up on the bed, mirrored her pose in front of her. He tossed her book aside and grabbed both her hands in his. He looked her directly in the eyes, now that they were only inches apart and demanded her full attention.
“Well? Did it?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
Oh but she did. The last was barely whispered to him, but if he wasn’t mistaken she was holding back. Like she’d wanted to yell it at him instead. As it was, it sounded bitter, laced with hurt.
How had he hurt her?
For once he was at a loss for words. He released her hands and slid one of his up to where her jaw met her neck and pulled her roughly, and more than a little awkwardly with their crossed legs between them, in for another kiss.
Rose made a slight mew of surprise as his lips found hers, and he felt her respond for an instant before she threw her hand up between them at pushed them apart, her hand solidly on his chest.
“Doctor, you don’t do this.”
She did want this. Her hand was trembling on his chest and he could see desire mixed with confusion and yes, not a small bit of anger swimming across her features.
“Haven’t done, Rose. Not the same as don’t.”
He tried to claim her lips again, but her hand at his chest held him fast.
“Doctor, I can’t. We Can’t. It’s not right.”
“Not…what? What do you mean? It is right. Very right. Right now, even.” He still didn’t understand why she was stopping him.
“It did something to you. The beast. In the pit. I don’t mean possessed you or anything. That was a joke,” She rolled her eyes at herself recognizing now that it had been in poor taste, “a bad joke. But something happened down there, made you…made you question yourself or something. And that’s why you’re doing this. Coming on to me. Kissing me. I’m not stupid. It’s PTSD or whatever. It isn’t you and you’ll regret it later. And I can’t let you.”
A surge of pride went through him at her words. Her hand was still trembling but her voice had been clear and strong. Determined. She was trying to protect him, after everything, at obvious cost to herself.
“Oh Rose. Still trying to be so strong. You don’t have to be. Not anymore. Not with me. Not for me. Sometimes,” he looked away briefly, remembering. “Sometimes it’s all right to fall.”
Rose swallowed and her eyes misted and the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them, “But only when you say.” It was a statement, not a question.
That hurt. It was like a slap and he moved away from her. Legs thrown over the edge of the bed, prepared to make an exit. But she was right. This had always been played by his rules. A certain closeness balanced with his determined amount of distance and ne’er should the line be crossed. Now he had changed his mind because he wanted her-decided that it was okay to want her-and it wasn’t fair to her.
He turned back to her quite suddenly and apologized the only way he could think of at the moment as lips smashed back onto hers and with his hands clutching her face and his tongue stroking powerfully inside her mouth, he willed her to feel how sorry he was.
Title: Haven (1/3)
Author: karenor
Rating: this chapter PG-13, higher for the rest
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Rose Tyler
Spoilers: set right after The Satan Pit, so spoilers up to that.
Disclaimer: BBC own all. Including my soul. I'd like it back one day please. Maybe.
Beta: the lovely kalleah
Summary: He wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly decided, earlier, to throw caution to the wind.
Their lips separated with an audible wet sound as Rose pushed him away and staggered back towards the door leading to the interior of the ship, eyes wide as her hand came up to touch her lips where his had just been.
He was almost pleased to see her so affected by his kiss, but became less so as it seemed increasingly clear that she intended to leave the room. Without him.
Rose recovered apparent equilibrium quickly.
“Haven’t got the devil in you have you?” Oh she played a good game. Her eyes were sparkling with mirth, but he knew her, knew the minute aspects of her expression well enough to know he’d just greatly unsettled her. She was confused. Backpedaling. A straight-thinking Rose wouldn’t have joked about the recent traumatizing events so soon. She was walking away and putting a stop to whatever this was because she didn’t understand it.
Oh Rose. It seemed neither of them had come out of this undamaged.
“It felt like we were on that base for ages. I’m going to have a shower and a bit of a kip. G’night Doctor.”
“Right, ok. See you later then.”
* * *
Not much later, the Doctor found himself at Rose’s bedroom door. He’d fiddled with the console, he’d had a walk about a few of the longer corridors. He’d thought about making tea and then changed his mind. When it was clear Rose was gone for the night, he changed into his regular nighttime attire, just his suit trousers and one shirt, then considered having a lie down himself, but knew his restless mind wouldn’t go for that just yet. Things to settle.
He wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly decided, earlier, to throw caution to the wind. To grab Rose and snog her quite soundly. It wasn’t just almost losing her or almost losing the Tardis. It wasn’t just joy to have her back. Dammit it was just time.
Maybe the events did put things a bit into perspective. He was tired of pretending he didn’t want Rose. But he never thought, that whenever he’d finally got around to making his move, so to speak, that she’d reject him. Maybe it was arrogance on his part, but he honestly never thought he’d have to seduce her. He thought she’d been waiting for him. That she’d be ready when he was.
He could hear her rustling about in her room, but the movement stilled when he knocked gently on her door.
There was no answer.
Oh, not good if she was going to pretend to be asleep. He’d mucked things up well. Just with a kiss? Wasn’t it what she wanted?
He sighed loudly in exasperation and leaned his forehead against the cool wood-like door, and spoke just loud enough for her to hear through it, “Rose, I know you’re awake.”
He didn’t know, however, that now she was just at the other side. And when she suddenly flung open the door he practically tumbled through it into her arms.
He righted himself quickly and muttered embarrassed apologies at her. She released him just as quickly and went to sit cross-legged on her bed, picking up a book that she’d dropped there as if he’d just disturbed her in a read and she had every intention of returning to the task presently.
He merely gaped at her for some moments. She was dressed for bed, soft cotton pyjama bottoms in an indeterminate pattern of pastels and a loose plain white tee. Her hair was damp and her face clean and he longed to breathe all of her in. To memorize each bit of her. Oh very occasionally after their more dangerous jaunts, whenever they’d barely made it out with their lives, or extra-barely, he’d come to her room. Have a chat, make sure she was ok. But it was still rare that he’d see her quite like this. Unguarded without her armor of makeup and rough denim.
But it wasn’t yet his privilege to look at room as he was doing, with a lover’s eyes. This is what he needed to remedy. And soon or he might go mad from it.
She was looking at him now, as he stood still somewhat awkwardly near her doorway. She had a question poised on her full lips and reflected in her gaze and slightly arched eyebrows, but she didn’t speak.
He glanced around himself briefly, shook himself slightly, awakening from his daze. Swiftly, he closed the door and took the few steps to her bed, came to stand just at the foot of it, and stared back at her.
The proximity caused her to back her gaze down and she suddenly became very interested in the pattern of the duvet. She was withdrawing into herself again, trying to escape as she had when she’d practically fled the control room and he couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Finally, he spoke.
“Rose, I kissed you.”
That caused her head to snap up at him. Now he couldn’t tell at all what he was seeing in her eyes. Determination? Was it anger? But she was still playing at being flippant.
“I know, hurray we’ve won. Glad I’m alive, all that.”
“Is that what it felt like?” It was low, husky, almost a growl and even he wasn’t sure where that had come from.
Her eyes widened at his question and its implications. They widened further still as he crawled up on the bed, mirrored her pose in front of her. He tossed her book aside and grabbed both her hands in his. He looked her directly in the eyes, now that they were only inches apart and demanded her full attention.
“Well? Did it?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
Oh but she did. The last was barely whispered to him, but if he wasn’t mistaken she was holding back. Like she’d wanted to yell it at him instead. As it was, it sounded bitter, laced with hurt.
How had he hurt her?
For once he was at a loss for words. He released her hands and slid one of his up to where her jaw met her neck and pulled her roughly, and more than a little awkwardly with their crossed legs between them, in for another kiss.
Rose made a slight mew of surprise as his lips found hers, and he felt her respond for an instant before she threw her hand up between them at pushed them apart, her hand solidly on his chest.
“Doctor, you don’t do this.”
She did want this. Her hand was trembling on his chest and he could see desire mixed with confusion and yes, not a small bit of anger swimming across her features.
“Haven’t done, Rose. Not the same as don’t.”
He tried to claim her lips again, but her hand at his chest held him fast.
“Doctor, I can’t. We Can’t. It’s not right.”
“Not…what? What do you mean? It is right. Very right. Right now, even.” He still didn’t understand why she was stopping him.
“It did something to you. The beast. In the pit. I don’t mean possessed you or anything. That was a joke,” She rolled her eyes at herself recognizing now that it had been in poor taste, “a bad joke. But something happened down there, made you…made you question yourself or something. And that’s why you’re doing this. Coming on to me. Kissing me. I’m not stupid. It’s PTSD or whatever. It isn’t you and you’ll regret it later. And I can’t let you.”
A surge of pride went through him at her words. Her hand was still trembling but her voice had been clear and strong. Determined. She was trying to protect him, after everything, at obvious cost to herself.
“Oh Rose. Still trying to be so strong. You don’t have to be. Not anymore. Not with me. Not for me. Sometimes,” he looked away briefly, remembering. “Sometimes it’s all right to fall.”
Rose swallowed and her eyes misted and the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them, “But only when you say.” It was a statement, not a question.
That hurt. It was like a slap and he moved away from her. Legs thrown over the edge of the bed, prepared to make an exit. But she was right. This had always been played by his rules. A certain closeness balanced with his determined amount of distance and ne’er should the line be crossed. Now he had changed his mind because he wanted her-decided that it was okay to want her-and it wasn’t fair to her.
He turned back to her quite suddenly and apologized the only way he could think of at the moment as lips smashed back onto hers and with his hands clutching her face and his tongue stroking powerfully inside her mouth, he willed her to feel how sorry he was.