[Multi-chapter] Change (19/??)
Title: Change
Authors: tsuchi8562
Bet: andreja1989 ArigaPYON~!
Pairing: SakurAiba, Aimiya (friendship), Yama (friendship), Junba (friendship)
Genre: AU, Romance, Drama, School
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: They are not ours, they belong to themselves...
*MASTERPOST*
"Masaki? How did you... what are you doing here?" Sho was astonished and shocked seeing his kouhai in the place he expected the less. Slowly calming down he figured out that Ohno had to tell him everything. It didn't suppose to be like that, Sakurai should have explained the whole truth... But now it was too late for that.
"Sho-chan, who is your friend?" The woman sat on the bed, showing her usual I-am-totally-sober fake face.
"Not your concern, Kumiko. Masaki, let's go somewhere where we can talk peacefully." The older boy opened the door to let Aiba out first, but the woman stopped her son.
“Sho-chan, you won’t introduce your friend to your mother?” She smiled and tried to fix her hair, but Sakurai sighed and looked at her again.
“I said it is not your business. You should have your little chitchat with Tanaka-sensei soon.” The older student looked at his kouhai. “Masaki, come on…”
They left the building and walked to the park nearby and sat on Sho's favorite bench. For a longer while neither of them said a word, when finally the older one decided to talk.
"You should be at school." The shorter boy's voice broke a bit.
"I had to make sure you are okay. I was worried and..."
“And you decided to jump in first train to Kobe? You should focus on your studies and training, not chasing after something that should stop concerning you…” Sakurai tried to sound as cold and angry as possible, but he failed. He couldn’t stop his heart from beating faster whenever the latter was looking at him with those beautiful chocolate eyes.
“I was worried. After your last message I thought that you could…”
"And you made Ohno-sensei to tell you everything. Masaki, listen I won't do anything stupid so you don't have to worry. If you came here just for that, you can go."
"I didn't come here to make my conscience clear! I was afraid that I’ll have to learn how to live without you..." Aiba whispered and closed his eyes. Sho misheard, right? His imagination again decided to make a prank. Or maybe... Does Masaki have still warm feelings towards him? Is there still a hope? The older boy looked at the latter and bit his lower lip. Masaki had dark circles under his eyes; Sakurai could bet that the younger boy was tired after the trip, not mentioning that probably after the incident he wasn't able to rest peacefully. Suddenly his thoughts went to that night… No. Sakurai didn't deserve Masaki. Not after what he had done.
"Maybe it will be better to live without me?" Sho sighed and rubbed his face. Suddenly all tiredness hit him. "Listen, Masaki I did a horrible thing to you, I know. I would turn back time, if it was possible. But believe me, staying with me is a mistake, especially now when I can't assure you that it won't happen again. I mean… I have no idea if the possessive side of me won’t take over again… I talked with Tanaka-sensei here and I will start the therapy soon… I…”
“Sho-chan… … I... I want to help you. I want to be there for you..."
"Why? I hurt you so much and... and you still want to talk to me?"
"You didn't hurt me. It wasn't the Sho-chan I know; it was the monster that you are fighting with. I know you will defeat it and I don't want you to do it alone."
"Masaki..." Everything looked like a dream. Is Sho asleep and his subconscious shows him those images only to make him feel the pain after he wakes up? On the other hand it seemed so real, so true that Sakurai wanted to make sure he is awake. The older boy took Aiba's hand gently and squeezed it. When the younger boy softly kissed the latter's fingers, the tears started to fall by themselves. Sho cried as if he wanted to release all the sadness, feeling of guilt and ache he had inside for so long. Masaki bit his lower lip and hugged his senpai, closed his eyes and just stayed like that, without any word. Sakurai calmed down after a while and moved away a bit to look at his beloved boy. He didn't understand why the younger student decided to come here, but he knew one thing. Aiba had the biggest heart in the world and now he proved to him that Sakurai still has a place there. All the older boy had to do now was show that he deserved it and work hard to tame the beast that lived inside him. Until then he promised himself he won't touch the latter.
"Masaki, I think I have to tell you something, but it's a long story and I want you to go back to Tokyo today. I don't want you to skip trainings, you have the competition soon."
"There are more important things than..."
"Masaki, you love running?"
"I do..."
"Then do what you love. I have to handle with myself first anyway. How is your ankle?" Sho wanted to keep the topic away from his embarrassing story as much as possible. However Masaki didn't let to be fooled and after quick explanation he looked at Sakurai with anticipating. The older boy sighed and started to talk about things he didn't think for ages, trying to put it in the less amount of words as possible.
“You know, Masaki… Kumiko is sick. She is addicted to drugs since I remember… I was practically left alone… I couldn’t say a word to anybody…”
“Why?” Aiba interrupted.
“Masaki, you don’t know people… People are mean and cruel when they find somebody weak… I saw many times when students were bullied because of many stupid reasons… Plus I was afraid I will be taken away from her… Believe it or not, I think I loved her. I was an idiot, ne?” Sho laughed bitterly and before the younger boy managed to say a word he continued. “Things changed when she almost poisoned me… I was sick and she mistook vitamins with her magic pills. Can you imagine that at first she didn’t want to hear about the treatment? But in the end she came here. All people that took in at the same time as her were released already and she… Kumiko treats this clinic as her home. She doesn’t want to be healthy…” Sakurai sighed, but he was smiling, feeling that a huge and heavy burden is slowly taken off his shoulders. “I couldn’t say anything about that to anyone, so slowly, one by one my so-called friends started to leave me. And in the end I became a monster that eats little kittens.
“Sho-chan…” Aiba whispered and his eyes became glassy.
“No, don’t cry. I am fine. I got used to being alone and then… You appeared in my life.” The older student looked at the latter, smiling. “I think you showed me how was it to have somebody you can spend time with… I remembered how it’s like to love someone… And I was afraid that you will leave me that I did what I did… I don’t know if you forgive me…” Sakurai gasped when the younger boy suddenly hugged him tight.
“Masaki…” Sho whispered and wanted to say something more, when his phone rang. It was the public phone, probably from the clinic. The older boy’s mother wanted him to join her during her meal. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Can you get to the station alone?”
“Can’t I go with you?” The younger boy asked shyly and smiled. “I want to meet her.” Sakurai couldn’t resist the pleading eyes, which were extremely cute by the way and he nodded heading towards the big white building.
“But you are still going back to Tokyo today.” He couldn’t let Aiba stay and expose him to any inconvenience connected with his feelings towards Sho.
“Yes, yes I will. But I still have time until last train, right?”
“Two hours.”
“See? Don’t worry, I will catch that train, I promise. I won’t bug you anymore.”
“You are not bugging me, I just don’t want you to skip classes because of me.”
“Okay, I know.” Masaki grabbed Sho’s hand and went inside the clinic, letting himself be lead to canteen. The older boy was more relaxed than before, but still he couldn’t believe that Aiba forgave him. No, no more touches until the older boy will be sure he can control himself.
Kumiko was already sitting at the table, playing with her food. Her hands were shaking and she tried to act calm. Sakurai frowned and looked at his beloved kouhai doubting if it was a good idea to take him here in the first place. The woman smiled when she saw both boys approaching to her and focused more on Masaki, trying to act as a normal mother.
“Thank you for taking care of my idiot son…” She bowed and smiled, a bit embarrassed. Sho clicked his tongue and didn’t say a word, sitting in front of her and remained calm.
“With all due respect, madam, Sho-chan is not an idiot…” Aiba stated calmly and as friendly as possible. How come that woman could act so mother-ish? How dared she?! Sakurai stopped listening to their chitchat and clenched his hands in fists. The older boy took few deep breaths and finally could more or less calmly pay attention on what Kumiko was saying.
“Sho is such ungrateful son; he doesn’t even call me ‘mother’… You know it hurts?” The woman pouted and sighed. “Aaahh, I think I didn’t raise him properly…”
“I believe you have the meeting with Tanaka-sensei now.” Sho hissed, even though he wanted to sound calm.
“But… It is the first time when you brought a friend here, so let me tell him what kind of person you are…”
“Enough!” Sakurai hit the table with his opened hand. “The doctor won’t wait for you forever.”
“Okay, I am going…” Kumiko sighed and looked at her son’s friend. “He’s so rude… I would think twice before I would get involved in a friendship with him if I were you.” She bowed and went out the canteen, whistling some old song. The silence fell between both students and it was broken by the older one.
“Let’s go, you have a train to catch.” Sakurai stood, took Aiba’s hand and pulled him towards exit. No more words were said before they got to the train station. Sho bought the ticket and they both went to the platform; their hands still connected. The younger student looked at the latter and without unneeded words he hugged him tightly.
“Give me half of your pain.” The taller student whispered softly.
“W-what?” Aiba moved away and looked at his senpai, smiling through tears.
“Give me half of your pain… Please.”
“Masaki…” Sho said quietly and pulled the latter closer, kissing him gently as if he was afraid he will crush him. “I’m sorry…” The older one whispered with his eyes closed. “I am so sorry Masaki…”
“It’s okay… Now I understand you better and I will help you.” The boy wanted to say something more, but the train arrived and he had to get in. Sakurai smiled and waved to his beloved kouhai and sighed when the train disappeared from his sight.
Masaki forgave him. Masaki believed in him. Masaki still loved him. Having hope is not that bad after all, ne?