[Multi-chapter] How can I love (4/??)
Title: How can I love
Author: tsuchi8562
Beta: geminib <-- Thank you so very much!
Pairing: SakurAiba (main), Aimiya, JunBa (friendship), Juntoshi
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Romance, Drama
*MASTERPOST*
Sho was shocked because of the view in front of his eyes and he was standing without any move, with his mouth wide open for a few seconds. This time let Nino pull his pants back on before he felt a strong punch and was thrown out the room. Sakurai threw keys to his room on Kazunari’s chest.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Now get your dirty face out of my sight!” The rapper was extremely mad and he shut the door, coming closer to Aiba, who was still crying on the floor, didn’t even bother to cover himself.
“Aiba-chan, are you all right? Damn, what I am saying, of course you’re not! Come, let me help you get up…”
“No… Don’t touch me…” Masaki said quite firmly. He was feeling so extremely guilty and filthy that the last thing he wanted was Sho’s care. Now he was crying not because of the emotions and relief, but because he felt that he betrayed Sakurai, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Aiba stood up finally and went to the bathroom to calm himself and take a shower. As soon as the warm water hit his skin he started to sob heavily, losing his breath and praying that his band mate won’t hear him. The rapper didn’t pay attention to him at that time or wanted to give him a while; whichever it was Masaki could peacefully, more or less, finish the shower and came back to the room. To be honest he hoped that Sho will leave or at least fall asleep; however Sakurai was fully awake, sitting on the couch and as soon as the taller man came in, his gaze never left the taller singer. Before Sakurai managed to ask any question, Aiba whispered:
“Nothing happened.”
“Masaki, but I saw everything! That mean little….”
“Stop. It’s not like that. I… I wanted it.”
“And that’s why you were crying and now you have some bruises on your legs?!”
Aiba blinked and looked down to spot some light-blue smudges; probably Nino was rougher than Masaki thought. He was so busy with focusing on the sensation that he didn’t feel any pain.
“I wanted it.” The taller man repeated firmly, still staring at his legs and trying to cover them, putting on the sweatpants.
“Aiba-chan, you don’t have to protect that little swine! We know what kind of person he is, but this time he just crossed the line and…”
“I told you that he didn’t do anything I didn’t agree on.”
“I know how much you love Arashi and you would rather die than do something that can destroy it, but I won’t let you do this. This is far too serious to simply let it go.”
Masaki looked at Sakurai and started to be a bit angry; how come the rapper didn’t trust him and accused him of lying?
“I don’t care anymore if you don’t believe me.” Aiba decided to stop his explanations at this point and go to sleep. He was tired a little so he headed towards the bed when Sho suddenly stood up and cut his way. The taller man looked at his band mate and without word waited for unknown. The older man unexpectedly hugged Masaki tight and stroked his back gently.
“It’ll be okay; I won’t let you suffer…” Sakurai whispered straight to Aiba’s ear. Masaki froze, trying to keep his breath calm and his heartbeat in steady rhythm. He didn’t feel comfortable with the fact that Sho thinks that he is a liar, but the warmth and scent of the man he loved made him dizzy. He knew that one more second in this embrace, one more moment of this ticklish breath in his neck and he will die, so he pushed the rapper away and jumped on the bed, covering himself tightly with a blanket. The situation was really awkward and tough now. Nino wanted to help Aiba; it was a really strange way indeed, but that was the only way he could think of. Masaki himself felt quite good with that, even if he was against it at the beginning, now he could say that he has clearer mind and could focus on the outside world instead of thinking only about sex. It was his fault that he cried then, but he was holding those emotions for so long that he couldn’t stop the tears. Now Sho thinks that Kazunari is a cruel rapist and without any doubts he will call a meeting with all of the members, as always when something important happened inside the band. Jun will be mad at Nino, but he will understand that it wasn’t any rape; that Aiba wanted it, more or less. Leader will think the same as Matsumoto for sure. And Ninomiya? The problem is that three members know the truth about Aiba’s feelings for Sakurai, the tallest member’s ‘celibacy’ and that the event that happened just now wasn’t wrong at all. However nobody can’t tell anything to the rapper because Masaki is afraid that it will conflict the whole band. The most hilarious thing in this situation was the fact, that Aiba was afraid that when Sho will know about his feelings will affect on Arashi and now all his good intentions turned out to be bad.
“Masaki…?”
“Yes?”
“Are you alright?”
“Yes, I am perfectly fine… I just want to sleep.” Aiba had enough of explaining that he is not a victim and that he agreed on everything. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.
***
Nino was sitting on the couch in Jun’s and Ohno’s room with an ice on his face. He knew that this could end that way, but still the pain in his jaw was frustrating.
“You deserved it, you know?” Matsumoto said calmly, drinking some water. Surprisingly he wasn’t that mad, just slightly angry. “Are you sure that this was the only way?”
“Yes.” Kazunari answered and winced. He didn’t say anything more, so the youngest member had to ask again.
“Nino, but are you really certain? Aiba-chan is suffering much already… I don’t want to give him false hopes! It could destroy him!”
“Jun, listen to me! I know what I saw and I am sure for 100% that Sho likes boys. All we have to do is to make him like Aiba-chan more. That’s it!”
“What do you mean by ‘I know what I saw’?” Silent until now, the leader looked at his band mate with curiosity. Ninomiya sighed and wondered if he really should tell the story he was hiding for one of his friend’s good. In the end he thought that he can share it with the other two as a small revenge for the punch.
“A few months ago I was at the bar with some of our senpais. I noticed Sho, who came in and wanted to call him, but he seemed to be a bit nervous. Plus he was definitely waiting for someone. Then I saw a man who came to Sho and sat at the same table. They talked and left together. I know that man; I had an… episode with him previously. Anyway the next day Sho was relaxed and seemed happy. It’s obvious.”
“I hope you’re right…” Jun whispered and sighed. “Although I still feel guilty that I sent Sho to your room…”