[fic] Cruel Device 5/?
Title: Cruel Device 5/?
Author: himrahid
Genre: Dark
Ratings: R
Paring: KaoruXToshiya; OCXToshiya
Resume: A car accident could lead to more than Toshiya would have ever thought ...
Comments: Ever read Stephen King’s ‘Misery‘? Oh and sorry if I sound like Lemony Snicket in the beginning. 8D
Disclaimer: Dir en grey belong to themselves and Misery to Stephen King ... but then again it’s not __that__ similiar ...
A/N: Still no Kaoru. u_u But he'll make his first appearance soon so ... yay for Kaoru! ^-^v
Prologue&Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Sweat was covering Toshiya’s body like a second blanket, causing his hair to stick to his cheeks and curling up a little. He had long since lost the ability to even scream and was left to suffer in silence, his eyes wide and lips painfully dry.
His eyes were almost swollen shut but the place his mind was drifting off to now didn’t require perfect eye sight anyway.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come home, darling?“ his mother’s voice shrilled through the phone’s receiver. “I could cook for you and look after you, my little honeycakes. Wouldn’t you like that?“
Toshiya winced at how harsh his mother’s usually calming voice sounded in his infected ears. “I’ll be fine, mum, thanks. Shinya’ll look after me. Yes, he does know what to do. No, I’m not bothering anyone. Yes, I love you too. Bye, mum.“
With a sigh he tossed the phone onto the nightstand and curled up under his covers, his hands on his poor ears. “I’ll sleep on the couch,“ Shinya said softly and this time Toshiya’s ears didn’t hurt. “Just call me if you need anything, yes?“
He nodded weakly before pulling his favourite fluffy blanket over his head, barely leaving room to breathe.
The bassist could have gone to sleep quiet happily now but the door bell chose this precise moment to ring, causing him to groan in frustration: who was that and what did he (it was highly unlikely that any female might end up standing in front of his door, especially at this time of day) want from him now?
He listened to Shinya’s light footsteps, to the door opening and within seconds a person he absolutely hadn’t expected to visit him here on his sickbed entered the room: Kaoru.
“Hey ...“ Toshiya managed to croak, which ended up in another cough that shook his body like he didn’t consist of flesh and bones but was a mere rag doll.
For a moment there was nothing but the pain in his chest and the pain resulting from straining his body like this in his ears as well but suddenly it got easier to breathe and he felt that he was now resting against another warm body, gentle hands caressing his chest, arms and back.
“That’s better, hmmm?“ Kaoru’s voice was ... tender, in a way Toshiya had never heard it before.
Later on Toshiya would never remember if this was all his lively imagination or if Kaoru had really held him throughout the night, getting him water when he wanted it, caressed him like this again when he needed it.
No, he didn’t remember and at any rate, when he woke back up the guitarist was gone if he had ever been there, but memories and dreams can mix and usually they are one and the same anyway, aren’t they?
“That hurts, hmmm?“
The Kaoru-esque man was towering over him, his face a masc of pity, making Toshiya want to scream at him: of course it hurts, asshole, and it’s entirely YOUR fault!
He wanted to, he really did, but there was something he wanted (and needed) far more than a cheap and useless triumph over this madman: he needed his pills, anything really to ease the pain stemming both from his legs and the withdrawal.
“Could I please have my pills?“ he whispered.
Feeling another wave of pain coming on it was hard for him to speak at all; he seemed to grow weaker with every passing second and he knew that his captor probably knew about that as well.
“Do you promise to be good from now on? I don’t want to deal with a rude guest anymore, you know. People shouldn’t be rude. That’s just not cricket.“
Under other circumstances Toshiya might have laughed at the old-fashioned expression but now all he could do was nod his head in eager compliance. “I’ll be very good. The best. I promise but please ... I ...“
This time Toshiya wasn’t strong enough to take the pills on his own and so they were presented to him on the man’s index finger once again, something he would’ve been disgusted by if only he’d had the will left to feel anything but need.
When sleep finally took him only one clear thought lingered at the back of his mind: I’m going to kill you.
The next couple of days held a strange sense of peace - maybe due to the fact that Toshiya was too weak to do anything rude, maybe because the man saw that another punishment might eventually finish off his newest toy.
That was what he was to the fake Kaoru, Toshiya thought; a toy.
He had been placed in this Barbie-wonderland for this reason and that was what was expected of him: the behaviour of a doll, not more and not less.
He wondered if he could do it, if he could really hold himself back like this and forget about everything he had ever been.
In a strange way the man was like a child: he would get angry if he didn’t get what he wanted, he lost his temper quite often and afterwards he would feel sorry.
Of course that didn’t make him any less dangerous and Toshiya would do his best to please him from now on - until he was strong enough.
One week later Toshiya was placed in the wheelchair again, the bass (now connected to an amp) on his lap and a pick between his fingers; setting up the doll, he thought to himself, scowling at his own cynicism.
Oddly enough even this simply instrument he wouldn’t have looked at twice under normal circumstances provided him with a peace and almost happiness he hadn’t even dreamt of in a long time and he let his slender finger caress the strings lovingly.
He knew that the man was watching him but it didn’t matter right now. He was playing pointless little melodies, things he would’ve never thought of good enough to suggest for the band but this wasn’t the band, was it? He only had one person to please.
“Oh what a wonderful song!“ The man clapped his hands happily. “You’re very talented. It’s a waste that you spend so much time with this band of yours,“ he continued.
Toshiya would’ve liked to laugh: a waste? That was why the man knew of his existance, wasn’t it? That was the reason why he had rescued him; had he been anyone else the man would have taken him to a hospital and all of this wouldn’t be happening.
“Don’t all these ... unhappy songs make you unhappy as well? You deserve better than that, Toshiya.“
The man walked around him until he was standing right behind the dark-haired bassist, pushing the hair to the side to grant himself access to Toshiya’s neck.
The chaste kisses he placed on the milky white skin he found there might have been endearing under any other circumstances but Toshiya only felt like throwing up the little he had eaten in the morning.
“So beautiful,“ the man whispered. “So pure ... no, you deserve better than them. Much better ...“
Then let me go, you aren’t better was what Toshiya’s mind was screaming at him but he only smiled although the man couldn’t see his face from his current position.
“Toshiya, my doll, I want you to do something for me ... I want you to write the best song in the world for me.“
Author: himrahid
Genre: Dark
Ratings: R
Paring: KaoruXToshiya; OCXToshiya
Resume: A car accident could lead to more than Toshiya would have ever thought ...
Comments: Ever read Stephen King’s ‘Misery‘? Oh and sorry if I sound like Lemony Snicket in the beginning. 8D
Disclaimer: Dir en grey belong to themselves and Misery to Stephen King ... but then again it’s not __that__ similiar ...
A/N: Still no Kaoru. u_u But he'll make his first appearance soon so ... yay for Kaoru! ^-^v
Prologue&Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Sweat was covering Toshiya’s body like a second blanket, causing his hair to stick to his cheeks and curling up a little. He had long since lost the ability to even scream and was left to suffer in silence, his eyes wide and lips painfully dry.
His eyes were almost swollen shut but the place his mind was drifting off to now didn’t require perfect eye sight anyway.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come home, darling?“ his mother’s voice shrilled through the phone’s receiver. “I could cook for you and look after you, my little honeycakes. Wouldn’t you like that?“
Toshiya winced at how harsh his mother’s usually calming voice sounded in his infected ears. “I’ll be fine, mum, thanks. Shinya’ll look after me. Yes, he does know what to do. No, I’m not bothering anyone. Yes, I love you too. Bye, mum.“
With a sigh he tossed the phone onto the nightstand and curled up under his covers, his hands on his poor ears. “I’ll sleep on the couch,“ Shinya said softly and this time Toshiya’s ears didn’t hurt. “Just call me if you need anything, yes?“
He nodded weakly before pulling his favourite fluffy blanket over his head, barely leaving room to breathe.
The bassist could have gone to sleep quiet happily now but the door bell chose this precise moment to ring, causing him to groan in frustration: who was that and what did he (it was highly unlikely that any female might end up standing in front of his door, especially at this time of day) want from him now?
He listened to Shinya’s light footsteps, to the door opening and within seconds a person he absolutely hadn’t expected to visit him here on his sickbed entered the room: Kaoru.
“Hey ...“ Toshiya managed to croak, which ended up in another cough that shook his body like he didn’t consist of flesh and bones but was a mere rag doll.
For a moment there was nothing but the pain in his chest and the pain resulting from straining his body like this in his ears as well but suddenly it got easier to breathe and he felt that he was now resting against another warm body, gentle hands caressing his chest, arms and back.
“That’s better, hmmm?“ Kaoru’s voice was ... tender, in a way Toshiya had never heard it before.
Later on Toshiya would never remember if this was all his lively imagination or if Kaoru had really held him throughout the night, getting him water when he wanted it, caressed him like this again when he needed it.
No, he didn’t remember and at any rate, when he woke back up the guitarist was gone if he had ever been there, but memories and dreams can mix and usually they are one and the same anyway, aren’t they?
“That hurts, hmmm?“
The Kaoru-esque man was towering over him, his face a masc of pity, making Toshiya want to scream at him: of course it hurts, asshole, and it’s entirely YOUR fault!
He wanted to, he really did, but there was something he wanted (and needed) far more than a cheap and useless triumph over this madman: he needed his pills, anything really to ease the pain stemming both from his legs and the withdrawal.
“Could I please have my pills?“ he whispered.
Feeling another wave of pain coming on it was hard for him to speak at all; he seemed to grow weaker with every passing second and he knew that his captor probably knew about that as well.
“Do you promise to be good from now on? I don’t want to deal with a rude guest anymore, you know. People shouldn’t be rude. That’s just not cricket.“
Under other circumstances Toshiya might have laughed at the old-fashioned expression but now all he could do was nod his head in eager compliance. “I’ll be very good. The best. I promise but please ... I ...“
This time Toshiya wasn’t strong enough to take the pills on his own and so they were presented to him on the man’s index finger once again, something he would’ve been disgusted by if only he’d had the will left to feel anything but need.
When sleep finally took him only one clear thought lingered at the back of his mind: I’m going to kill you.
The next couple of days held a strange sense of peace - maybe due to the fact that Toshiya was too weak to do anything rude, maybe because the man saw that another punishment might eventually finish off his newest toy.
That was what he was to the fake Kaoru, Toshiya thought; a toy.
He had been placed in this Barbie-wonderland for this reason and that was what was expected of him: the behaviour of a doll, not more and not less.
He wondered if he could do it, if he could really hold himself back like this and forget about everything he had ever been.
In a strange way the man was like a child: he would get angry if he didn’t get what he wanted, he lost his temper quite often and afterwards he would feel sorry.
Of course that didn’t make him any less dangerous and Toshiya would do his best to please him from now on - until he was strong enough.
One week later Toshiya was placed in the wheelchair again, the bass (now connected to an amp) on his lap and a pick between his fingers; setting up the doll, he thought to himself, scowling at his own cynicism.
Oddly enough even this simply instrument he wouldn’t have looked at twice under normal circumstances provided him with a peace and almost happiness he hadn’t even dreamt of in a long time and he let his slender finger caress the strings lovingly.
He knew that the man was watching him but it didn’t matter right now. He was playing pointless little melodies, things he would’ve never thought of good enough to suggest for the band but this wasn’t the band, was it? He only had one person to please.
“Oh what a wonderful song!“ The man clapped his hands happily. “You’re very talented. It’s a waste that you spend so much time with this band of yours,“ he continued.
Toshiya would’ve liked to laugh: a waste? That was why the man knew of his existance, wasn’t it? That was the reason why he had rescued him; had he been anyone else the man would have taken him to a hospital and all of this wouldn’t be happening.
“Don’t all these ... unhappy songs make you unhappy as well? You deserve better than that, Toshiya.“
The man walked around him until he was standing right behind the dark-haired bassist, pushing the hair to the side to grant himself access to Toshiya’s neck.
The chaste kisses he placed on the milky white skin he found there might have been endearing under any other circumstances but Toshiya only felt like throwing up the little he had eaten in the morning.
“So beautiful,“ the man whispered. “So pure ... no, you deserve better than them. Much better ...“
Then let me go, you aren’t better was what Toshiya’s mind was screaming at him but he only smiled although the man couldn’t see his face from his current position.
“Toshiya, my doll, I want you to do something for me ... I want you to write the best song in the world for me.“