VM Fic: "Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot" 4/6 (NC-17) - Logan/Veronica, Keith
Title: "Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot" 4/6
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Pairing: Veronica/Logan, Keith
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,480, for this chapter
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers through 2x10.
Summary: In December 2018, Veronica receives an anonymous phone call out of the blue: “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from Duncan Kane.” The investigation leads her to better understand her past, her present, and the big choice she’s just made for her future… Mystery fic & light fic.
Notes: This fic, together with "Bohemian Carol", are two alternate versions of the same future, this one light and the other one dark. Both fics, however, are entirely self-contained.
Previously: Veronica's getting threatening phone calls, warning her to stay away from Duncan. Given that she's engaged to Logan...yeah, she's a bit confused. But not as confused as her caller. :P She popped by Kane Software earlier in the day and got a list of people with untraceable phones from Clarence Wiedman, who's monitoring them all so the next time Veronica gets a call, they'll know who did it. Given that she ventured into the heart of the Kane Empire, Veronica thinks her odds of pissing her mystery caller are looking bright. Yay! :D In the meantime, she and Logan are staying at Keith and, Keith's girlfriend, Andrea's house for Christmas and their last-minute wedding. And, oh yeah, Logan's been making mysterious phone-calls arranging something that he seems worried about. But I haven't told you what it is yet, because I'm an Evil Author (TM). But I do this chapter. So, yeah. And so we continue...
Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot
by Kantayra
Chapter Four
“Are you all right?”
Logan, sharp and snarky, meant one of two things: Either he was genuinely happy, or he was horribly unhappy and trying to cover for it. Given how he’d become increasingly reserved as they’d gotten ready for bed, Veronica was betting on the latter.
“Fine.” He seemed to be having more difficulty than usual unfastening the buttons of his shirt and, with a sigh, she stepped in to help him. “I can do it myself,” he snapped, brushing her away.
She frowned. Oh, yeah. This was definitely something big… “You can tell me about it, you know,” she told him gently.
“And here comes Psych 101, rearing its ugly head once more,” he glared at her.
Ah. He was in one of those moods. The ones where all kindness automatically equated with pity. Those were just so much fun. “Right. Just forget I asked,” she snapped right back.
“Because heaven forbid I ever get to keep anything to myself. Oh no, everything is Veronica Mars’ business.” He stormed past her and into the bathroom.
“Great!” she shouted after him. “Just great! Let’s not deal with our problems. Oh no, let’s just yell at each other at the tops of our lungs. That’s so mature.”
“But, honey,” he retorted wickedly, “I thought it would appeal to your ghetto roots.”
She froze and just stared at him.
And, as soon as he realized what he’d said, he had the decency to look ashamed of himself. “Veronica,” he chased after her apologetically, “I didn’t mean-”
“Right.” She flung open the door, jaw set. “Have a nice evening.” And slammed it shut behind her.
“Fuck,” Logan swore, collapsing on the bed.
***
“You okay, honey?”
Fuck. The last thing Veronica wanted to deal with right then was her dad. She fumbled through her purse even faster, hunting for her keys.
Keith studied her, cup halfway to his mouth. “I could hear you two shouting. You okay?” he repeated.
“Oh, just peachy,” she retorted bitterly, finally triumphantly catching her keys.
“You going out?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you going?”
“For a drive.”
“Mind if your old man tags along?”
Veronica stiffened for a second, wanting very much to say no. But some part of her that was softer than she ever liked to admit just wished that her dad could make everything better. That was the part that won out. “Okay,” she agreed quietly.
He grabbed his coat and took her keys from her - probably a good idea that she didn’t drive while she was this agitated anyway - and she sat uncomfortably in the passenger seat as he drove them aimlessly about Neptune.
“Remember when we used to do this when you were a kid?” Keith asked lightly. “Your mom, too. We’d all get in the car and drive around town and look at all the Christmas lights.”
She sniffed slightly. “Yeah.” Then, “Logan and I had a fight.”
“So I heard,” he countered mildly. “A bad one?”
She shrugged. “We’re always arguing about something…”
“Arguing is an entirely different thing from fighting,” Keith informed her. “You two seem to enjoy the arguing.”
She smiled slightly at that. “Yeah,” she agreed wistfully.
“So what did you fight about?”
“Oh,” Veronica shook her head, “I don’t even know. Something has him stressed out, and he was feeling cranky and didn’t want to tell me what it was, and then when I got pissed, out came the classist remarks.”
“He do that a lot?”
“Only when he’s tired and scared,” Veronica shivered slightly and buried her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “Sometimes when I’ve hit him something just as bad. Comments about his dad will usually do it.”
“You two always did know how to push each other’s buttons,” Keith commented blandly.
She’d sort of expected more of a raging invective against Logan. “We try not to. Really, we do. But, sometimes…” She brushed at her cheek with one hand. “We try to be better. Than we were, I mean. Especially him. But, then, when we’re at our worst, it all comes out again and…”
“And?”
“And sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth trying. The two of us, I mean,” she clarified, her voice sounding thoroughly defeated to her own ears. “There’s just so much…” She trailed off helplessly.
“You love him?”
“Yeah…” she agreed softly. “But it’s so much easier when he’s…him, you know? It’s hard whenever he regresses like this. And, look at me! I’m not much better. My first instinct was to run for it…”
“I’m sure you both need time to cool down,” he pointed out practically.
She nodded slowly. “But it’s not like that.”
“What is it like, then?”
“Every time things get tough, I just run out. And I know that he’s back at home, wondering if I’m even going to come back to him, but it’s like I can’t stop myself.” Her fingernails were leaving little crescent marks in the palms of her hands, she was clutching them so tightly. Forcibly, she made them relax.
Keith pretended like he didn’t even notice. “It’s Christmas. And you’ve been receiving threats. You’re tired and stressed…”
“And he is too.” Veronica nodded. “I know. It doesn’t make me any less scared.”
He turned the Beemer onto Columbia, and for a few moments they just watched the festive displays as they whizzed by. “What are you scared of?” he finally asked, voice calm and soothing.
“I’m just…” She let out a raw laugh. “More nervous about the wedding than I have been about anything in my life.”
“Do you really want to get married?”
Veronica twisted her ring nervously between her fingers.
“Well?” Keith asked after she had paused to think about it for what he deemed was too long.
“Very much,” she said, a hint of hesitancy in her voice. “But I can’t help but worry…”
“Worry about what?” Keith shook his head, his voice light and easy and comforting, quickly dispelling any ghosts that might have formed in her mind.
She bit her lip and glanced down at the ring on her hand. For a moment she found herself almost captivated by the glint of the streetlights on gemstone, but then she came back to reality. And, really, she was old enough now that this should be a reality she could face. “That we’ll turn out like you and mom,” she answered in a voice barely above a whisper.
Keith froze at that, a concerned look upon his face. “Veronica, honey…”
“I know, I know,” she shook her head. “It’s silly, but-”
“It’s not silly,” he assured her.
She looked up at him, surprised at that.
“You’ll never know how much I agonized over that.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. He stared straight ahead at the road, an anxious look on his face, confessing something painful for any parent to have to admit. “I feel like I should have worked harder. That you deserved to grow up seeing what a happy marriage was like.”
“Dad, it’s not your-”
“Will you let me finish?” he requested with a bit of that demanding tone he’d always used with her when she was younger.
She still found herself helpless to do anything but obey, even after all these years.
“I still feel like I failed you in that,” he admitted. “But it doesn’t make any difference with you and Logan. You are two completely different people.”
She took a deep breath. “He’s not exactly the nicest guy in the world,” she pointed out. And it was hard to do so, because she loved him, but that didn’t blind her to his faults. “He tries, but… I don’t think he’ll ever be able to completely overcome his past. I don’t think anyone can.”
“Do you want him to?” Keith inquired.
“I want him to be happy. I want him to be all right.” That part, at least, she was sure of.
“I think,” he said in a voice that all too clearly indicated ‘correct me if I’m wrong’, “that he feels the same way about you. And, to be perfectly honest, Veronica, if he was the nicest guy in the world, he wouldn’t stand a chance against you.” He grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
Slowly, she nodded her head, having gone through these sorts of arguments dozens of times in her head.
“Have you told Logan about your…concerns?” he ventured softly.
She rolled her eyes at that. “Given my outspoken belief that marriage is an institution for people who don’t love each other anymore? I pretty much had to reassure him that my proposal wasn’t a covert way of breaking up with him.”
Keith laughed at that, and it was good to know that there was one other person out there who got her admittedly strange relationship with Logan.
“I feel like we’ve gone over our issues until we can’t see straight anymore,” she concluded.
“And you’re not reassured?”
“That his experiences are even worse than mine?”
“That the two of you can talk about this sort of thing,” he corrected.
She was silent for a moment. “You and mom didn’t talk?”
He let out a harsh laugh. “More like shouted.”
“Logan and I do our fair share of that, too,” she grimaced.
“But, no,” he answered her earlier question. “By the end…we didn’t talk about any of the important things.”
“Then why did you stay together?” she asked curiously.
“Honestly?” He sighed. “On my part, it was mostly because of you. Lianne loved you very much - no matter what you think,” he cut off her objections. “She loved you, and she made you happy.”
“You made me happy, too.”
“I know that now.” He reached over and squeezed her knee. “But it was a complicated time, all around.”
“And what if things get ‘complicated’ between me and Logan?” she demanded.
He let out a long, tired breath. “I wish I could promise you that the two of you will live happily ever after. But you’ve never taken it well when your old man has tried to lie to you.”
They both smiled at that.
“All I can tell you is that you and Logan aren’t me and Lianne.”
She nodded carefully.
“For one thing, Logan’s much taller.” He gave her that idiotic grin of his that had been consistently able to send her into fits of giggles for as long as she could remember.
“Taller than mom? Or you?” she retorted wickedly.
“Both,” he admitted with a vigorous nod. “Possibly put together.”
And she did laugh at that before impulsively leaning in and giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Love you too, kiddo,” he chuckled, eyes never leaving the road.
She smiled and pulled away, brushing away the wetness on her cheeks roughly while he pretended not to see. “We were thinking of having the wedding Friday,” she informed him.
“Excellent. It’ll give me an excuse to take a three-day weekend.”
She just swatted at his arm playfully.
The idiotic grin on his face grew wider. “What?” he demanded with faux-innocence.
“You’re hopeless,” she announced before their little father-daughter bonding moment was interrupted by her phone ringing. She swore in realization that she hadn’t brought the tracker with her, and Keith’s expression immediately hardened.
A deep breath, and she picked up. “Wow. All this stalking, just for little old me?” she asked flirtatiously into the phone.
“You think this is funny, bitch?” the voice demanded. “I know you were at Kane Software today.”
Veronica let out a mock-surprise gasp. “So do I! We should really get together and talk some evening. I can just tell that you’re my soulmate.”
“If you don’t stay away,” the voice hissed, “your cripple of a father will be the first to suffer.”
Veronica’s eyes narrowed, and the line went dead.
“Logan or stalker?” Keith asked lightly, heading back home.
“You couldn’t tell?” she demanded.
“You’d be surprised just how difficult it is, at times,” he teased.
“They threatened you.” She watched the lights spin by.
He snorted. “I carry a gun. And am not in the least intimidated by cowards who make crank calls.”
That was reassuring. “Clarence will have traced that. I should have our guy by tomorrow.” She sighed. “For now, I am owed one spectacular apology…”
Keith grinned. “Home, it is.”
***
“Are you awake?” Veronica asked softly as she slipped into the bedroom. The lights were off, but she could make out the strong outline of Logan’s back in the bed.
He stirred and turned to look at her. “I thought I’d use the same remedy that’s been used to treat cranky kindergarteners for ages, and enjoy naptime,” he retorted. Then, more softly, “I’m so sorry…”
“I know.” She sat on the bed beside him, still clothed, and brushed a kiss across his cheek.
He let out a deep breath and looked up at her with dark eyes. “It’s just… I have to do something tomorrow, and I know you’re not going to like it, but I need to do it alone, all right?”
Her fingers trailed through his hair. “Okay.”
“I-I’ll tell you about it when I get home.”
“Okay.”
“I didn’t mean what I said, Veronica…”
“I know. I forgive you.” She kissed him again, and this time his lips caught hers and lingered, tasting her almost cautiously, as if afraid she’d leave him for good. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m just sorry that it’s not always as easy as we want it to be.”
“But it wouldn’t be half as much fun if it was.” His eyes twinkled.
“True,” she laughed, giving him a final quick kiss before she got up to change into her pajamas.
“I love you,” he whispered fervently.
“I love you, too.”
***
“I’d say this is an unexpected visit, but I don’t think even I could live with myself for an understatement like that.”
Alas, the next day had come far too fast for Logan’s taste. His expression showed how clearly unamused he was as he stared at his father across the table in the prison visiting room. “Merry Christmas, dad.”
Aaron feigned shock. “My own son is finally filled with the spirit of holiday giving? That only took a decade.”
Logan just glared.
“So why are you here?” Aaron asked more softly after an uncomfortable pause.
Logan didn’t answer, watching his fingers tap on the desk before him instead.
“Logan?” There seemed to be a bit of concern there. And damned if it didn’t sound almost genuine.
“Just give me a minute,” Logan’s sarcasm came out more cold than anything else. “I’m trying not to act more like a drama queen than I did by coming here in the first place.”
“I hear they make an excellent pill for that.”
“Knock it off,” Logan retorted darkly.
Aaron spread his hands in a magnanimous gesture. “Knock what off?”
“Trying to be charming,” Logan bit out.
“And how should I be?” Aaron wondered.
“Just…quiet.” He could hear the weariness in his own voice.
Miraculously, the old man shut up. Maybe it really was the time of giving, after all. “How are you?” Now that wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all.
“Working my way towards time off for good behavior,” Aaron commented breezily. “You? Trina?”
“Trina’s fine.” That question was easier to answer. “Still in New York.”
Aaron nodded slowly. “You?” he repeated.
Logan shrugged.
“It’s…good to see you.” And that was genuine. Whether that was more or less disturbing was up for grabs.
He nodded slowly. “I’m getting married,” he offered cautiously.
A momentary flash of surprise covered so well that Logan knew it couldn’t be a trick. “To Veronica, I’m assuming? Last I heard…”
“To Veronica,” Logan agreed.
“Well, that will make family get-togethers nice and awkward.”
Logan let out a little exclamation of disgust and rose from his seat. “I don’t even know why I bothered to come here.” He turned away and headed for the door.
“Logan, wait!” Aaron had stopped him just as his hand had touched the knob. Christ, they really were a family of horrible hams, weren’t they?
He turned back to study his father carefully. Aaron was graying around the edges now, looking old for the first time ever, at least to Logan’s eyes. And, for a moment, he could see his dad as a pathetic, fucked-up old man, and not the psychotic master manipulator who had nearly ruined his life. For a moment.
“Congratulations,” Aaron offered with that horribly ingratiating smile. “I don’t suppose I’m getting out for the wedding?”
“You’re not invited.”
“Figures.”
“Yeah, funny, isn’t it? You murder one girlfriend, and then you don’t even get invited to your own son’s wedding.” Logan pretended to consider for a moment. “Strictly as a security measure, of course.”
“Of course,” Aaron agreed, and damn him for making a joke out of this.
Logan took a deep breath, furious with Aaron and with himself for letting Aaron get to him like this. “I had to tell you,” he informed his dad, emphasizing the obligation as well as the complete lack of desire. “It seems that, no matter how hard I try, denying that you exist doesn’t actually make you go away…”
“We should really have these family get-togethers more often,” Aaron said pleasantly.
“Yeah, well, there’s that whole problem wherein I hate you.”
That blow seemed to have struck. Something deep in Aaron’s eyes flickered in almost-pain. And Logan figured that, even if he’d made it his life’s mission, he’d never be able to fully figure out the deranged mind of his own dad. Which just made figuring out how much he had been screwed up in reflected glory that much harder.
“You’re not going to win, you know,” Logan said, feeling strangely calm inside.
“Oh?” Aaron seemed guarded now, careful. It was a defensive mechanism Logan himself had used far too often.
“I’m not like you,” he explained, despite the shiver he felt at the base of his spine each time he thought about the ways they were alike. “And I’m never going to be like you.”
“Well, you did manage to avoid jail time,” Aaron agreed, all light-hearted banter that belied the seriousness of their conversation.
Logan let out a deep breath. Fuck, but this shouldn’t have to be so hard. “If you ever come near her again…or her family…or our family…” He let the threat trail off.
“You have any objections to me just dying in a corner?” Aaron demanded bitterly.
“None,” he agreed with great false joy.
Aaron rose slowly from his seat, arms muscles flexing as he pressed against the table. He’d obviously been taking advantage of the weight rooms Logan had seen in every single prison movie ever made. “I do wish you the best of luck,” Aaron offered, face looking stripped bare, like just maybe this was who he actually was.
Logan knew that at one time he would have felt intimidated by this situation, but he just didn’t anymore. Fear and pain both faded with time…
Aaron approached him cautiously, as if anticipating a blow, which was ironic when Logan thought about it. He rested one hand on Logan’s shoulder in a gesture that was so damned paternal that Logan couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.
“I’ve missed you,” Aaron insisted.
“Whatever you say, dad.” He didn’t pull away, though. His flinching instinct seemed to have faded with time, and hell. It was Christmas, after all…
“I love you.”
And maybe, in his own twisted mind, his father really did love him. Logan had long since given up on trying to get answers. ‘Why?’ seemed like a question that not even Aaron was capable of answering in any satisfactory way.
“Yeah, sure,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll do my damned best not to return the sentiment.” He offered his father an insolent little smile.
Aaron just smiled back. It was more than he’d had a right to expect in a lifetime, after all. “You could come and visit me more often…”
“Don’t get me wrong. I still hate you, too. And I’ll never forgive you.”
“But you came this time.”
Logan raised one finger. “Once.”
“Merry Christmas.”
It was so very much time to get out of there. Thankfully, the guard agreed with him. He left the prison, not knowing whether he was traumatized or relieved, or whether that conversation had settled anything whatsoever. But it could have worse, he supposed. They could have tried to strangle each other to death…
***
“You don’t owe him anything,” was all Veronica had said when he’d told her what he’d done that day.
“It should work that way,” he’d answered, letting the feeling of her fingers stroking through his hair soothe him, “but it doesn’t…”
Original post is here.
Chapter Five
All Chapters
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Pairing: Veronica/Logan, Keith
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 3,480, for this chapter
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers through 2x10.
Summary: In December 2018, Veronica receives an anonymous phone call out of the blue: “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from Duncan Kane.” The investigation leads her to better understand her past, her present, and the big choice she’s just made for her future… Mystery fic & light fic.
Notes: This fic, together with "Bohemian Carol", are two alternate versions of the same future, this one light and the other one dark. Both fics, however, are entirely self-contained.
Previously: Veronica's getting threatening phone calls, warning her to stay away from Duncan. Given that she's engaged to Logan...yeah, she's a bit confused. But not as confused as her caller. :P She popped by Kane Software earlier in the day and got a list of people with untraceable phones from Clarence Wiedman, who's monitoring them all so the next time Veronica gets a call, they'll know who did it. Given that she ventured into the heart of the Kane Empire, Veronica thinks her odds of pissing her mystery caller are looking bright. Yay! :D In the meantime, she and Logan are staying at Keith and, Keith's girlfriend, Andrea's house for Christmas and their last-minute wedding. And, oh yeah, Logan's been making mysterious phone-calls arranging something that he seems worried about. But I haven't told you what it is yet, because I'm an Evil Author (TM). But I do this chapter. So, yeah. And so we continue...
Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot
by Kantayra
Chapter Four
“Are you all right?”
Logan, sharp and snarky, meant one of two things: Either he was genuinely happy, or he was horribly unhappy and trying to cover for it. Given how he’d become increasingly reserved as they’d gotten ready for bed, Veronica was betting on the latter.
“Fine.” He seemed to be having more difficulty than usual unfastening the buttons of his shirt and, with a sigh, she stepped in to help him. “I can do it myself,” he snapped, brushing her away.
She frowned. Oh, yeah. This was definitely something big… “You can tell me about it, you know,” she told him gently.
“And here comes Psych 101, rearing its ugly head once more,” he glared at her.
Ah. He was in one of those moods. The ones where all kindness automatically equated with pity. Those were just so much fun. “Right. Just forget I asked,” she snapped right back.
“Because heaven forbid I ever get to keep anything to myself. Oh no, everything is Veronica Mars’ business.” He stormed past her and into the bathroom.
“Great!” she shouted after him. “Just great! Let’s not deal with our problems. Oh no, let’s just yell at each other at the tops of our lungs. That’s so mature.”
“But, honey,” he retorted wickedly, “I thought it would appeal to your ghetto roots.”
She froze and just stared at him.
And, as soon as he realized what he’d said, he had the decency to look ashamed of himself. “Veronica,” he chased after her apologetically, “I didn’t mean-”
“Right.” She flung open the door, jaw set. “Have a nice evening.” And slammed it shut behind her.
“Fuck,” Logan swore, collapsing on the bed.
***
“You okay, honey?”
Fuck. The last thing Veronica wanted to deal with right then was her dad. She fumbled through her purse even faster, hunting for her keys.
Keith studied her, cup halfway to his mouth. “I could hear you two shouting. You okay?” he repeated.
“Oh, just peachy,” she retorted bitterly, finally triumphantly catching her keys.
“You going out?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you going?”
“For a drive.”
“Mind if your old man tags along?”
Veronica stiffened for a second, wanting very much to say no. But some part of her that was softer than she ever liked to admit just wished that her dad could make everything better. That was the part that won out. “Okay,” she agreed quietly.
He grabbed his coat and took her keys from her - probably a good idea that she didn’t drive while she was this agitated anyway - and she sat uncomfortably in the passenger seat as he drove them aimlessly about Neptune.
“Remember when we used to do this when you were a kid?” Keith asked lightly. “Your mom, too. We’d all get in the car and drive around town and look at all the Christmas lights.”
She sniffed slightly. “Yeah.” Then, “Logan and I had a fight.”
“So I heard,” he countered mildly. “A bad one?”
She shrugged. “We’re always arguing about something…”
“Arguing is an entirely different thing from fighting,” Keith informed her. “You two seem to enjoy the arguing.”
She smiled slightly at that. “Yeah,” she agreed wistfully.
“So what did you fight about?”
“Oh,” Veronica shook her head, “I don’t even know. Something has him stressed out, and he was feeling cranky and didn’t want to tell me what it was, and then when I got pissed, out came the classist remarks.”
“He do that a lot?”
“Only when he’s tired and scared,” Veronica shivered slightly and buried her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “Sometimes when I’ve hit him something just as bad. Comments about his dad will usually do it.”
“You two always did know how to push each other’s buttons,” Keith commented blandly.
She’d sort of expected more of a raging invective against Logan. “We try not to. Really, we do. But, sometimes…” She brushed at her cheek with one hand. “We try to be better. Than we were, I mean. Especially him. But, then, when we’re at our worst, it all comes out again and…”
“And?”
“And sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth trying. The two of us, I mean,” she clarified, her voice sounding thoroughly defeated to her own ears. “There’s just so much…” She trailed off helplessly.
“You love him?”
“Yeah…” she agreed softly. “But it’s so much easier when he’s…him, you know? It’s hard whenever he regresses like this. And, look at me! I’m not much better. My first instinct was to run for it…”
“I’m sure you both need time to cool down,” he pointed out practically.
She nodded slowly. “But it’s not like that.”
“What is it like, then?”
“Every time things get tough, I just run out. And I know that he’s back at home, wondering if I’m even going to come back to him, but it’s like I can’t stop myself.” Her fingernails were leaving little crescent marks in the palms of her hands, she was clutching them so tightly. Forcibly, she made them relax.
Keith pretended like he didn’t even notice. “It’s Christmas. And you’ve been receiving threats. You’re tired and stressed…”
“And he is too.” Veronica nodded. “I know. It doesn’t make me any less scared.”
He turned the Beemer onto Columbia, and for a few moments they just watched the festive displays as they whizzed by. “What are you scared of?” he finally asked, voice calm and soothing.
“I’m just…” She let out a raw laugh. “More nervous about the wedding than I have been about anything in my life.”
“Do you really want to get married?”
Veronica twisted her ring nervously between her fingers.
“Well?” Keith asked after she had paused to think about it for what he deemed was too long.
“Very much,” she said, a hint of hesitancy in her voice. “But I can’t help but worry…”
“Worry about what?” Keith shook his head, his voice light and easy and comforting, quickly dispelling any ghosts that might have formed in her mind.
She bit her lip and glanced down at the ring on her hand. For a moment she found herself almost captivated by the glint of the streetlights on gemstone, but then she came back to reality. And, really, she was old enough now that this should be a reality she could face. “That we’ll turn out like you and mom,” she answered in a voice barely above a whisper.
Keith froze at that, a concerned look upon his face. “Veronica, honey…”
“I know, I know,” she shook her head. “It’s silly, but-”
“It’s not silly,” he assured her.
She looked up at him, surprised at that.
“You’ll never know how much I agonized over that.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel. He stared straight ahead at the road, an anxious look on his face, confessing something painful for any parent to have to admit. “I feel like I should have worked harder. That you deserved to grow up seeing what a happy marriage was like.”
“Dad, it’s not your-”
“Will you let me finish?” he requested with a bit of that demanding tone he’d always used with her when she was younger.
She still found herself helpless to do anything but obey, even after all these years.
“I still feel like I failed you in that,” he admitted. “But it doesn’t make any difference with you and Logan. You are two completely different people.”
She took a deep breath. “He’s not exactly the nicest guy in the world,” she pointed out. And it was hard to do so, because she loved him, but that didn’t blind her to his faults. “He tries, but… I don’t think he’ll ever be able to completely overcome his past. I don’t think anyone can.”
“Do you want him to?” Keith inquired.
“I want him to be happy. I want him to be all right.” That part, at least, she was sure of.
“I think,” he said in a voice that all too clearly indicated ‘correct me if I’m wrong’, “that he feels the same way about you. And, to be perfectly honest, Veronica, if he was the nicest guy in the world, he wouldn’t stand a chance against you.” He grinned at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
Slowly, she nodded her head, having gone through these sorts of arguments dozens of times in her head.
“Have you told Logan about your…concerns?” he ventured softly.
She rolled her eyes at that. “Given my outspoken belief that marriage is an institution for people who don’t love each other anymore? I pretty much had to reassure him that my proposal wasn’t a covert way of breaking up with him.”
Keith laughed at that, and it was good to know that there was one other person out there who got her admittedly strange relationship with Logan.
“I feel like we’ve gone over our issues until we can’t see straight anymore,” she concluded.
“And you’re not reassured?”
“That his experiences are even worse than mine?”
“That the two of you can talk about this sort of thing,” he corrected.
She was silent for a moment. “You and mom didn’t talk?”
He let out a harsh laugh. “More like shouted.”
“Logan and I do our fair share of that, too,” she grimaced.
“But, no,” he answered her earlier question. “By the end…we didn’t talk about any of the important things.”
“Then why did you stay together?” she asked curiously.
“Honestly?” He sighed. “On my part, it was mostly because of you. Lianne loved you very much - no matter what you think,” he cut off her objections. “She loved you, and she made you happy.”
“You made me happy, too.”
“I know that now.” He reached over and squeezed her knee. “But it was a complicated time, all around.”
“And what if things get ‘complicated’ between me and Logan?” she demanded.
He let out a long, tired breath. “I wish I could promise you that the two of you will live happily ever after. But you’ve never taken it well when your old man has tried to lie to you.”
They both smiled at that.
“All I can tell you is that you and Logan aren’t me and Lianne.”
She nodded carefully.
“For one thing, Logan’s much taller.” He gave her that idiotic grin of his that had been consistently able to send her into fits of giggles for as long as she could remember.
“Taller than mom? Or you?” she retorted wickedly.
“Both,” he admitted with a vigorous nod. “Possibly put together.”
And she did laugh at that before impulsively leaning in and giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Love you too, kiddo,” he chuckled, eyes never leaving the road.
She smiled and pulled away, brushing away the wetness on her cheeks roughly while he pretended not to see. “We were thinking of having the wedding Friday,” she informed him.
“Excellent. It’ll give me an excuse to take a three-day weekend.”
She just swatted at his arm playfully.
The idiotic grin on his face grew wider. “What?” he demanded with faux-innocence.
“You’re hopeless,” she announced before their little father-daughter bonding moment was interrupted by her phone ringing. She swore in realization that she hadn’t brought the tracker with her, and Keith’s expression immediately hardened.
A deep breath, and she picked up. “Wow. All this stalking, just for little old me?” she asked flirtatiously into the phone.
“You think this is funny, bitch?” the voice demanded. “I know you were at Kane Software today.”
Veronica let out a mock-surprise gasp. “So do I! We should really get together and talk some evening. I can just tell that you’re my soulmate.”
“If you don’t stay away,” the voice hissed, “your cripple of a father will be the first to suffer.”
Veronica’s eyes narrowed, and the line went dead.
“Logan or stalker?” Keith asked lightly, heading back home.
“You couldn’t tell?” she demanded.
“You’d be surprised just how difficult it is, at times,” he teased.
“They threatened you.” She watched the lights spin by.
He snorted. “I carry a gun. And am not in the least intimidated by cowards who make crank calls.”
That was reassuring. “Clarence will have traced that. I should have our guy by tomorrow.” She sighed. “For now, I am owed one spectacular apology…”
Keith grinned. “Home, it is.”
***
“Are you awake?” Veronica asked softly as she slipped into the bedroom. The lights were off, but she could make out the strong outline of Logan’s back in the bed.
He stirred and turned to look at her. “I thought I’d use the same remedy that’s been used to treat cranky kindergarteners for ages, and enjoy naptime,” he retorted. Then, more softly, “I’m so sorry…”
“I know.” She sat on the bed beside him, still clothed, and brushed a kiss across his cheek.
He let out a deep breath and looked up at her with dark eyes. “It’s just… I have to do something tomorrow, and I know you’re not going to like it, but I need to do it alone, all right?”
Her fingers trailed through his hair. “Okay.”
“I-I’ll tell you about it when I get home.”
“Okay.”
“I didn’t mean what I said, Veronica…”
“I know. I forgive you.” She kissed him again, and this time his lips caught hers and lingered, tasting her almost cautiously, as if afraid she’d leave him for good. “I’m sorry, too.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m just sorry that it’s not always as easy as we want it to be.”
“But it wouldn’t be half as much fun if it was.” His eyes twinkled.
“True,” she laughed, giving him a final quick kiss before she got up to change into her pajamas.
“I love you,” he whispered fervently.
“I love you, too.”
***
“I’d say this is an unexpected visit, but I don’t think even I could live with myself for an understatement like that.”
Alas, the next day had come far too fast for Logan’s taste. His expression showed how clearly unamused he was as he stared at his father across the table in the prison visiting room. “Merry Christmas, dad.”
Aaron feigned shock. “My own son is finally filled with the spirit of holiday giving? That only took a decade.”
Logan just glared.
“So why are you here?” Aaron asked more softly after an uncomfortable pause.
Logan didn’t answer, watching his fingers tap on the desk before him instead.
“Logan?” There seemed to be a bit of concern there. And damned if it didn’t sound almost genuine.
“Just give me a minute,” Logan’s sarcasm came out more cold than anything else. “I’m trying not to act more like a drama queen than I did by coming here in the first place.”
“I hear they make an excellent pill for that.”
“Knock it off,” Logan retorted darkly.
Aaron spread his hands in a magnanimous gesture. “Knock what off?”
“Trying to be charming,” Logan bit out.
“And how should I be?” Aaron wondered.
“Just…quiet.” He could hear the weariness in his own voice.
Miraculously, the old man shut up. Maybe it really was the time of giving, after all. “How are you?” Now that wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all.
“Working my way towards time off for good behavior,” Aaron commented breezily. “You? Trina?”
“Trina’s fine.” That question was easier to answer. “Still in New York.”
Aaron nodded slowly. “You?” he repeated.
Logan shrugged.
“It’s…good to see you.” And that was genuine. Whether that was more or less disturbing was up for grabs.
He nodded slowly. “I’m getting married,” he offered cautiously.
A momentary flash of surprise covered so well that Logan knew it couldn’t be a trick. “To Veronica, I’m assuming? Last I heard…”
“To Veronica,” Logan agreed.
“Well, that will make family get-togethers nice and awkward.”
Logan let out a little exclamation of disgust and rose from his seat. “I don’t even know why I bothered to come here.” He turned away and headed for the door.
“Logan, wait!” Aaron had stopped him just as his hand had touched the knob. Christ, they really were a family of horrible hams, weren’t they?
He turned back to study his father carefully. Aaron was graying around the edges now, looking old for the first time ever, at least to Logan’s eyes. And, for a moment, he could see his dad as a pathetic, fucked-up old man, and not the psychotic master manipulator who had nearly ruined his life. For a moment.
“Congratulations,” Aaron offered with that horribly ingratiating smile. “I don’t suppose I’m getting out for the wedding?”
“You’re not invited.”
“Figures.”
“Yeah, funny, isn’t it? You murder one girlfriend, and then you don’t even get invited to your own son’s wedding.” Logan pretended to consider for a moment. “Strictly as a security measure, of course.”
“Of course,” Aaron agreed, and damn him for making a joke out of this.
Logan took a deep breath, furious with Aaron and with himself for letting Aaron get to him like this. “I had to tell you,” he informed his dad, emphasizing the obligation as well as the complete lack of desire. “It seems that, no matter how hard I try, denying that you exist doesn’t actually make you go away…”
“We should really have these family get-togethers more often,” Aaron said pleasantly.
“Yeah, well, there’s that whole problem wherein I hate you.”
That blow seemed to have struck. Something deep in Aaron’s eyes flickered in almost-pain. And Logan figured that, even if he’d made it his life’s mission, he’d never be able to fully figure out the deranged mind of his own dad. Which just made figuring out how much he had been screwed up in reflected glory that much harder.
“You’re not going to win, you know,” Logan said, feeling strangely calm inside.
“Oh?” Aaron seemed guarded now, careful. It was a defensive mechanism Logan himself had used far too often.
“I’m not like you,” he explained, despite the shiver he felt at the base of his spine each time he thought about the ways they were alike. “And I’m never going to be like you.”
“Well, you did manage to avoid jail time,” Aaron agreed, all light-hearted banter that belied the seriousness of their conversation.
Logan let out a deep breath. Fuck, but this shouldn’t have to be so hard. “If you ever come near her again…or her family…or our family…” He let the threat trail off.
“You have any objections to me just dying in a corner?” Aaron demanded bitterly.
“None,” he agreed with great false joy.
Aaron rose slowly from his seat, arms muscles flexing as he pressed against the table. He’d obviously been taking advantage of the weight rooms Logan had seen in every single prison movie ever made. “I do wish you the best of luck,” Aaron offered, face looking stripped bare, like just maybe this was who he actually was.
Logan knew that at one time he would have felt intimidated by this situation, but he just didn’t anymore. Fear and pain both faded with time…
Aaron approached him cautiously, as if anticipating a blow, which was ironic when Logan thought about it. He rested one hand on Logan’s shoulder in a gesture that was so damned paternal that Logan couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh.
“I’ve missed you,” Aaron insisted.
“Whatever you say, dad.” He didn’t pull away, though. His flinching instinct seemed to have faded with time, and hell. It was Christmas, after all…
“I love you.”
And maybe, in his own twisted mind, his father really did love him. Logan had long since given up on trying to get answers. ‘Why?’ seemed like a question that not even Aaron was capable of answering in any satisfactory way.
“Yeah, sure,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll do my damned best not to return the sentiment.” He offered his father an insolent little smile.
Aaron just smiled back. It was more than he’d had a right to expect in a lifetime, after all. “You could come and visit me more often…”
“Don’t get me wrong. I still hate you, too. And I’ll never forgive you.”
“But you came this time.”
Logan raised one finger. “Once.”
“Merry Christmas.”
It was so very much time to get out of there. Thankfully, the guard agreed with him. He left the prison, not knowing whether he was traumatized or relieved, or whether that conversation had settled anything whatsoever. But it could have worse, he supposed. They could have tried to strangle each other to death…
***
“You don’t owe him anything,” was all Veronica had said when he’d told her what he’d done that day.
“It should work that way,” he’d answered, letting the feeling of her fingers stroking through his hair soothe him, “but it doesn’t…”
Original post is here.
Chapter Five
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