[Log] It's only a little bit of fun

[smiling_umino]

Who: Hatake Kakashi (ura_no_ura ), Umino Iruka (smiling_umino
Status: Closed
Style: Action
Where: Kakashi Household
When: The same day as this; a little later though.
Rating: PG for now
Warnings: To be edited.

Comments

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi felt him leave, heard the thump of the Hitomi, heavier footsteps racing towards the backyard. The slide of the shoji door and the crunch of grass. And he knew from those footsteps, from that thump, from the way Iruka moved, the sound of it somewhat frantic and edged with fear, that there was something wrong. Something on the Hitomi network. He took out his own Hitomi, and quickly found the source of the fear.

Deidara.

Of course. Of course Iruka would be scared. Kakashi had let down the barriers. Had let Deidara in. And he remembers all too well what happened next. Remembers that dream Iruka had, months ago. Months that feel like an eternity, almost, but it was only just a little less than a year ago. A year ago, when his arms were ripped from him before the rest of him was blown to pieces. Pieces of Iruka. Blood everywhere. Iruka had died back then.Kakashi's throat goes dry, and something in him rises up, something dark and angry and vicious. A feeling that hungers for blood, that wants to feel the kill. Deidara's life

[smiling_umino]

[Iruka did not hear him come, approach, sense his presence let alone feel much of anything when he is trapped in his own little private hell. He blinks in open surprise at the touch, at the presence of his lover before him, looking at him with so much concern.

He hears the world around him now, the light splash of the koi's tail on the surface of the pond, the rustle of the trees and grass -- no more laughing, no more talks of fun or artistry. There are no images of golden hair and blue eyes that dance with a little too much delight at the thought of destruction, the art of it.

There is just Kakashi. And blessed silence.

Iruka has never been more grateful.

He says this, blinking; didn't he go out to train or do something? It's this late already? Why is he looking at me like that?

Iruka presses a hand to the one beside his ear and tries to smile at Kakashi, bat that look on his lover's face away.]

Hey ...

[ura_no_ura]

Are you okay?

[ Kakashi asks this even though he knows Iruka is not okay. How could he be, when the man responsible for his death suddenly decided it was a good day to return to Kannagara? Even with the knowledge that death here is impermanent, Kakashi knows too well the kind of fear death can bring. The way the fear clogs the throat and makes it hard to breathe, makes you see it all over again. Hear it and feel it. How slow death can draw itself out in memory.

He saw the rings that lined Pain's eyes for months after. His eyes. The eyes of a man who thought himself to be god.

Kakashi doesn't know what it is Iruka sees. If he sees himself, or Deidara. But he knows that fear, can see it in Iruka's eyes. The way it dims the light in them, fills it with a kind of darkness, a shadow that disturbs the clarity of his gaze. ]

[smiling_umino]

Yes

[ura_no_ura]

[ He has to pretend because if he doesn't it'll destroy him.

Kakashi knows how this works, this defense mechanism. He uses it himself, far too repeatedly. It's what they all live by. The silence. Swallowing the things they'd rather forget. The things they tell themselves do not kill them slowly. They tell themselves they aren't going mad by it. That they aren't all slowly going insane each time they have to swallow a thing that makes them choke. With fear or disgust or guilt or a combination of it all.

Kakashi's expression softens, and he moves in a little closer, then wraps his hands around Iruka's ankles and tugs, forcing his legs to pull out so Kakashi can wedge himself right between Iruka's legs. His hands go up to Iruka's face, lifting up his chin and forcing his gaze up to his own. ]

I'll never let him hurt you again