Little Open Air Sake House new the Kabuki Theater (For Lavi)pinktintedgamonJuly 11 2011, 23:45:20 UTC
[Raikou was, in a word, exhausted. In every sense of the word. Which was why he was sitting here, in a sake house, as Gau wandered the entertainment houses looking for something for them to watch, with a book of Confucian philosophy open before him though he was only partially reading it.
A larger part of his awareness was split between the sake before him and the wary glances at his hair, of all things.
The pink dye that he preferred wasn't much better than his natural blond would have been, all things considered, but it didn't make it any more comforting, getting all of the suspicious stares.
Another covert glance around him and a sigh as he lifted the little cup to his lips before making another attempt to focus on the book before him.]
[Well, Raikou might be happy to hear he's not the only one, soon enough. Lavi has certainly not had the best past few days, or probably more like weeks, and he's getting really, really tired of having all these emotions shifting and turning and tearing, because nothing gets to settle properly before something new comes to kick it all up.
He notices the familiar pink hair when he passes a sake house, and freezes up. Ah... Raikou. Thinking back, they have probably been through just about the same lately, right? In different order and amount, probably, but still.
And Raikou has always been good to talk to.
So it's with that in mind that Lavi walks up to sit down next to Raikou. A drink doesn't sound too bad ither.]
[The sound of a familiar - not to mention friendly - voice has Raikou glancing up with a smile. He shuts the book and sets it down in front of him with a snap, then leans over just enough to press his shoulder to Lavi's.]
Hm, fancy that.
[And then a small smile as his eyes cut to the opening, looking for others.]
Here alone? I had thought with Allen-kun's return...
[He'll lean back just a little against Raikou's shoulder with a slight smile of his own.]
Ah, sometimes ya just need a break, y'know?
[Even if it happens, that very thing kind of did throw him and the others for a loop. It wasn't entirely pleasant, really. Nice to see the guy and all and in some ways a clean slate might not be completely bad, but...
All of those memories lost from Allen's side...
Lavi treasures memories a lot, and he's pretty sure Allen does too. It kind of sucks.]
[Raikou pulls the other empty cup, the one he'd gotten for Gau, closer and wordlessly pours another glass, then sets it before his friend with a sigh. To have two such familiar faces reappear without the light of recognition in their eyes, to look at him from behind the mask of a friendly smile or with mistrust and worse, suspicion...
Where the 'loss' of Yoite with his no-longer-friend's return had felt like a sucker punch not unlike the one he'd used to knocked Raikou out the day he'd revived Gau... The return of this new 'Allen' just felt like a slap to the face.
He was tired of it - all of it. There was no end and no boundary, nothing sacrosanct to their view of those brought here and, quite frankly, Raikou was, for the moment, disgusted with it all.
Which is why he lifts his own glass and swallows it down in one smooth sip.]
Why is it always our memories? How does this bring about any form of harmony?
[That just has Raikou sighing once again and refilling his cup. He knew Lavi had no more answers than him, really, but the entire situation had him frustrated beyond measure and feeling more worn down than ever before.
He wanted to rail against these constant changes, the roil of emotions that continuously ebbed and raged on an inconsistent tide within him.
Only.
He's just too heartsore and worn. For one moment, he simply doesn't have the strength inside to try to fight for calm - much less understanding. Instead, he reaches over to tap the edge of his glass against Lavi's and smiles at his friend.]
Sometimes I almost think I can see a pattern or a purpose, but the only one that's ever made any sense to me is Her. The others? Yomi take 'em for all I care.
[And then he takes another sip, because he had every intention of finishing that bottle before Gau returns. Possibly a second one, too.]
Same here. Sometimes. Only for it to be taken away again.
[A soft snort and he leans rather heavily on the counter as he presses the glass to his lips.]
Thinking it might be time to give up.
[And another sip.]
Except... I keep thinking something might actually come up one day. Ya never know.
[With that, he downs the whole glass in one breath and sighs, absently rubbing at his neck with his fingertips for a moment. Over and over, the same story repeats itself but at least... he's no longer surprised about it, expects it all, rather. Which is perhaps a bit better.
Less tiring at least.
Although other things fix the tiring part quite well enough on their own.]
[Another sip and a sigh because he can see Lavi's point all too easily. It would be so easy - so very easy - to just stop and say enough. To give up and give in and lose what hope he holds for this existence.
And were it not for Gau, he might have similar thoughts.
But he does have Gau - and Miharu as much as the teen will let him. Rin and this man sitting beside him. He has friends, and a life worth fighting for. A life that, were he in one of his own timelines, he would never have the chance to grasp with his two hands.
So he downs the last bit in his cup and reaches for the bottle, tops them both off again.]
I refuse to give up, no matter how much they try to break me or break us. But...sometimes I do need to step back, I think, and just... be. I'll give it a day or three, then pull myself back up and be stronger for it.
[He leans a bit more, comfortable, and smiles a bit.]
[Giving up is simply not an option. He takes the glass again with a nod as a belated thanks and absently sways it around a bit, stirring the liquid, before he downs more of it.]
Mm, never really thought 'bout the whole stepping back and be thing, though, to be honest. Maybe I've been doing it without knowing, a few times, but...
[A shrug.
It doesn't sound like a very bad idea at all.]
Then again, I kinda feel like that's what I've been doing for too long now. Feels like things 'ave just been floating by without me seeing them. I mean, not as in literally seeing them, I kinda have to.
[Since it's his job and all. Even if maybe he doesn't have to be doing it right now... Still.
It's all he really knows.]
But I mean... really seeing them. If you get what I mean.
[Raikou’s own cup turns in slow circles on the table, his eyes fixed on the steady movement as a slight frown touches his lips. One hand reaches up to absently tuck loose bangs behind an ear as he murmurs faintly.]
It’s like… you become so inured to the oddities that happen on an endless repeat here that every new and strange thing seems to be either blended in with the last or looked upon dispassionately.
[Lifting the glass, Raikou takes a long sip, savoring the smooth burn, then laughs softly.]
It’s like the boundaries of suspension of disbelief have been erased and we’re left here in a bemused state, just watching things happen with no sense of objectivity anymore.
Yeah, something like that. Or you just get to a point where you're simply too... tired to care anymore, you know? I just kind of keep staring at things and watching them happen... And I know I should react, should talk to people, and yet I... don't.
[The last two sentences are muttered against the rim of his glass, and he takes a sip at the end.
He can't even keep up a mask any longer. What the hell is he doing?
[Raikou's soft laughter drifts between them as he shakes his head. He's only heard little snippets of this Bookman, only ever seen him in Lavi's dreams, so he can't even really imagine what it's like to have a father-figure mentor like that is like
( ... )
I mean, I've been doin' that for a while, at home too. And he doesn't like that, sure? But I mean...
[He scratches the back of his head and grimaces. There are some new issues concerning that, he kind of thinks, but... The problem lies mostly in the balance between that and duties.
And he's failing, there.]
If he comes here, he'll want to know everything that's happened, and if I can't give him enough info or good enough info 'cause I've been out of it? He's not gonna be happy.
Reply
A larger part of his awareness was split between the sake before him and the wary glances at his hair, of all things.
The pink dye that he preferred wasn't much better than his natural blond would have been, all things considered, but it didn't make it any more comforting, getting all of the suspicious stares.
Another covert glance around him and a sigh as he lifted the little cup to his lips before making another attempt to focus on the book before him.]
Reply
He notices the familiar pink hair when he passes a sake house, and freezes up. Ah... Raikou. Thinking back, they have probably been through just about the same lately, right? In different order and amount, probably, but still.
And Raikou has always been good to talk to.
So it's with that in mind that Lavi walks up to sit down next to Raikou. A drink doesn't sound too bad ither.]
Hey. Fancy seein' you here.
Reply
Hm, fancy that.
[And then a small smile as his eyes cut to the opening, looking for others.]
Here alone? I had thought with Allen-kun's return...
Reply
Ah, sometimes ya just need a break, y'know?
[Even if it happens, that very thing kind of did throw him and the others for a loop. It wasn't entirely pleasant, really. Nice to see the guy and all and in some ways a clean slate might not be completely bad, but...
All of those memories lost from Allen's side...
Lavi treasures memories a lot, and he's pretty sure Allen does too. It kind of sucks.]
Reply
[Raikou pulls the other empty cup, the one he'd gotten for Gau, closer and wordlessly pours another glass, then sets it before his friend with a sigh. To have two such familiar faces reappear without the light of recognition in their eyes, to look at him from behind the mask of a friendly smile or with mistrust and worse, suspicion...
Where the 'loss' of Yoite with his no-longer-friend's return had felt like a sucker punch not unlike the one he'd used to knocked Raikou out the day he'd revived Gau... The return of this new 'Allen' just felt like a slap to the face.
He was tired of it - all of it. There was no end and no boundary, nothing sacrosanct to their view of those brought here and, quite frankly, Raikou was, for the moment, disgusted with it all.
Which is why he lifts his own glass and swallows it down in one smooth sip.]
Why is it always our memories? How does this bring about any form of harmony?
Reply
[Normally, he's not really one to drink... But it doesn't sound like an entirely bad idea; not a little bit of it, at least.
Not when offered, or something like that.
So he raises the glass and takes a sip.]
Reply
He wanted to rail against these constant changes, the roil of emotions that continuously ebbed and raged on an inconsistent tide within him.
Only.
He's just too heartsore and worn. For one moment, he simply doesn't have the strength inside to try to fight for calm - much less understanding. Instead, he reaches over to tap the edge of his glass against Lavi's and smiles at his friend.]
Sometimes I almost think I can see a pattern or a purpose, but the only one that's ever made any sense to me is Her. The others? Yomi take 'em for all I care.
[And then he takes another sip, because he had every intention of finishing that bottle before Gau returns. Possibly a second one, too.]
Reply
[A soft snort and he leans rather heavily on the counter as he presses the glass to his lips.]
Thinking it might be time to give up.
[And another sip.]
Except... I keep thinking something might actually come up one day. Ya never know.
[With that, he downs the whole glass in one breath and sighs, absently rubbing at his neck with his fingertips for a moment. Over and over, the same story repeats itself but at least... he's no longer surprised about it, expects it all, rather. Which is perhaps a bit better.
Less tiring at least.
Although other things fix the tiring part quite well enough on their own.]
Reply
[Another sip and a sigh because he can see Lavi's point all too easily. It would be so easy - so very easy - to just stop and say enough. To give up and give in and lose what hope he holds for this existence.
And were it not for Gau, he might have similar thoughts.
But he does have Gau - and Miharu as much as the teen will let him. Rin and this man sitting beside him. He has friends, and a life worth fighting for. A life that, were he in one of his own timelines, he would never have the chance to grasp with his two hands.
So he downs the last bit in his cup and reaches for the bottle, tops them both off again.]
I refuse to give up, no matter how much they try to break me or break us. But...sometimes I do need to step back, I think, and just... be. I'll give it a day or three, then pull myself back up and be stronger for it.
[He leans a bit more, comfortable, and smiles a bit.]
You too, I think. Right?
Reply
[Giving up is simply not an option. He takes the glass again with a nod as a belated thanks and absently sways it around a bit, stirring the liquid, before he downs more of it.]
Mm, never really thought 'bout the whole stepping back and be thing, though, to be honest. Maybe I've been doing it without knowing, a few times, but...
[A shrug.
It doesn't sound like a very bad idea at all.]
Then again, I kinda feel like that's what I've been doing for too long now. Feels like things 'ave just been floating by without me seeing them. I mean, not as in literally seeing them, I kinda have to.
[Since it's his job and all. Even if maybe he doesn't have to be doing it right now... Still.
It's all he really knows.]
But I mean... really seeing them. If you get what I mean.
Reply
[Raikou’s own cup turns in slow circles on the table, his eyes fixed on the steady movement as a slight frown touches his lips. One hand reaches up to absently tuck loose bangs behind an ear as he murmurs faintly.]
It’s like… you become so inured to the oddities that happen on an endless repeat here that every new and strange thing seems to be either blended in with the last or looked upon dispassionately.
[Lifting the glass, Raikou takes a long sip, savoring the smooth burn, then laughs softly.]
It’s like the boundaries of suspension of disbelief have been erased and we’re left here in a bemused state, just watching things happen with no sense of objectivity anymore.
Reply
[The last two sentences are muttered against the rim of his glass, and he takes a sip at the end.
He can't even keep up a mask any longer. What the hell is he doing?
With a dry laugh, he adds:]
Bookman would skin me if he came here now.
[He needs to fix this.]
Reply
[Raikou's soft laughter drifts between them as he shakes his head. He's only heard little snippets of this Bookman, only ever seen him in Lavi's dreams, so he can't even really imagine what it's like to have a father-figure mentor like that is like ( ... )
Reply
[He shakes his head lightly, sighs.]
I mean, I've been doin' that for a while, at home too. And he doesn't like that, sure? But I mean...
[He scratches the back of his head and grimaces. There are some new issues concerning that, he kind of thinks, but... The problem lies mostly in the balance between that and duties.
And he's failing, there.]
If he comes here, he'll want to know everything that's happened, and if I can't give him enough info or good enough info 'cause I've been out of it? He's not gonna be happy.
Reply
[Chuckling to himself, Raikou actually winks at Lavi and even salutes him with his cup.]
You do know that between the two of us, we're still keeping active records on everyone here, right? Some more than others, but... Yeah.
Reply
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