[Yomisato? Fai doesn't know the name, doesn't understand the language, but he knows what it is. It is a dark place, full of strife and hatred, teeth full of blood and locked doors.
Rot? He doesn't know much about rot, not like this place. The rot of Fai's life is in the tundra, the slow dessication as even the wind devours you away, leaving only bones and skin and hair to gape forever at the ice. This death is warm and wet enough that it eats itself from within, like a knotted worm. He's fascinated.
The dream shifts and Fai grips the Hitomi more tightly. This. This feeling he knows well- abandoned, alone, forced apart. Who is C.C.?
The head.
Head!It's too much, Fai drops the device out of purest shock. He's used to death, but only within himself. Yuui was the one who touched the dead, and it's with sudden vertigo that Fai realizes...he doesn't know who's head it was that he was holding. Yuui had called himself 'Fai,' and did that mean that Fai was now Yuui? The names, the trauma raged and settled in his mind like a snowstorm
( ... )
[The video shows a small, skeletally thin child, perched on a bed that seems to be comprised more of cushions than anything else. He swallows, with a dull, unfocused look, as if unaware he's being recorded, then seems to notice the camera-lens and tries a smile that looks like it's only just been born and can't figure out how to stand up on its own yet.]
[ And, as weird as this is, Lelouch knows the name Kannagara, knows it like something out of a half-remembered dream. This place... Well, this specific city is completely unknown, but this place - he knows this place.
He's... been here before?
Also: this other kid is in seriously bad health. ]
Who are you? Do you know why I'm here? [ Lelouch is crouching in this alley, hoping not to be seen. This is a bad place to be, he can definitely tell. ] Are they feeding you? [ For some reason, the vague idea that kidnapping has something to do with this place is floating around the back of his mind. ]
[ This comes out forcefully - shrilly, even. Lelouch's eyes are slightly wild. No, no, no, Fath that man was wrong, he was wrong, Lelouch is not dead, not dead, he is alive, he is living, he is breathing, he is something. He can't be dead. Suzaku said. Suzaku said, You're not dead; you're alive because you are living, and Lelouch made himself believe it.
He is alive. He is something. He is not nothing. ]
Whoever told you that is lying. How can you be dead? You look really sick - if you were dead already, why would you need to eat? You're probably delirious.
[ He pauses, seems to remember something. ]
You said you got here yesterday... Did someone bring you? Take you away from somewhere?
[Yoite is staring, a little sick to his stomach. He's seen you like this before, Lelouch, and he doesn't have good memories of that event. Everything that had happened before and after the innocent game of hide and seek, the gods toying with the world and everything in it.
It was what had begun everything. What had thrown him in together with Shimizu Raikou.
[ Lelouch is put immediately on guard. Does he know this guy? (He has a faint feeling that he does somehow, or should.) Why does he know his name? Who is he? ]
Look, I don't know who you are, and I don't know why you know me. [ Guarded, wary; this is not the young Lelouch that Yoite knew. This is a Lelouch much farther on his way down the path that will eventually lead him to becoming the leader of a rebellion, the conqueror of a world. This is a child who has become used to people expecting to use him. ] What do you want?
[Yoite is taken aback by the response, young Lelouch had been kind to him before (even if he had never made sense with that whole 'heaven would have plumbing' talk) and older Lelouch...well... Yoite had assumed that they were friends...of sorts....
Had he been mistaken?
Of course, this is neither of the Lelouch's he's met before, perhaps now he has the chance to repent for being in the other one's life.]
Gomen. I don't want anything [He whispers, bowing his head]
[Dead, but still walking around, still aware, and the world rotting around him; Matt doesn't have to dream this second-hand to know how it feels. He remembers perfectly clearly his own dream, the one where he was sure Kannagara itself was rejecting him, like a bad transplant.
And he doesn't try to imagine the person he knows (knew? is it past tense now?) who was golden and glowing and always, it seemed, leaving, by choice or not, here and at home, but an imagination less active than Matt's would probably still see C.C.'s hair and smile and mercurial nature as reflections of someone else's.
He's seen himself dead in his mind's eye more times than he can count; this, too, isn't a new feeling, but the horror of it never dims, even as he feels the curiosity spark: why? why show me this?
Matt's seen Lelouch in passing, on the network and in person, but they've never actually talked, and it's only when Matt starts to surface from sleep that he realizes this didn't turn into a dream about being small. Or not only a dream. He sends his
( ... )
I'm Matt. You've been here a while, you just don't remember. Which I know sounds crazy... but, um. Not crazier than how people are alive who shouldn't be.
[He rubs at the back of his neck. If Lelouch doesn't remember all of the dream, that's gonna be a hell of a non sequitor.]
[video | private]dramatic_capeMay 1 2011, 20:23:51 UTC
[ ...The wheels are spinning in Lelouch's mind... dirty city... hobo-looking guy... ding ding, we have reached a conclusion! ]
I can't talk to you anymore. I don't know what drugs you're doing, but I don't have any money and I can't help you. Also, you should probably check into a rehab center as soon as you can.
[reaction] || [ 1/2 ]keptdownApril 23 2011, 02:12:27 UTC
[ why.
is C.C. appearing like a ghost, when Suzaku still remembers her hands on his face when she tells him that he can't go away burning every village that he dons unjust, 'Zero' or not-'Zero', and that fallen Goddesses are no allies to him when he's obviously ready to turn in whatever's left of his morals to get revenge (again).
and why
not that it was only the outburst he lost his head for (and Suzaku knows this is Lelouch's dream, not his own, for he, himself, will never dream of Gods and Goddesses not of his own world {fallen Goddesses, however...}} and it's his own thoughts he hears now. his own that make the hand gripping the Hitomi clench and nearly crack the screen, nearly distort the image of a man who (is) was dead, of a (goddess) woman Suzaku does not kneel for and
(C.C. kept him from doing it. kept him firmly rooted to the ground -- burn something else I'll accompany you I'll stay with you --
oh god he doesn't want to see that. he doesn't have to feel it to know that he as himself does not want to see that not
( ... )
[video] || [ 2/2 ]keptdownApril 23 2011, 02:14:18 UTC
[ he wonders if Lelouch remembers him at this point. him when he was ten and stubborn and untamed by his guilt and the army? it's worth a check. (he's taller, stronger, quieter, quicker, and ten times more compliant, but he's also
Zero
with a rage that makes him just as uncontrollable now than when he was a child.)
turning on the feed, only half-confused. (no memories of here, he assumes but keeps it to himself.) Yomisato (near? not near him, not really, not anymore, perhaps he should... he should go to him this time not caring if Lelouch wants that or not and snatch him up and keep him safe even after he returns to normal if he ever does). ] Lelouch.
Kannagara- it's not Britannia, or [ Area 11 ] Japan... or really anywhere you or myself are familiar with.
[ No. That's not Suzaku. He might look a lot like him, talk a lot like him (except his voice is way lower than it was yesterday) - know Lelouch's name and speak in those familiar Suzaku-like cadences, but this cannot be Suzaku, because people don't suddenly grow into adults in the span of twelve hours. This is a trick. An illusion. Something. ]
You're not Suzaku. Who are you? Why do you know my name?
Comments 44
Rot? He doesn't know much about rot, not like this place. The rot of Fai's life is in the tundra, the slow dessication as even the wind devours you away, leaving only bones and skin and hair to gape forever at the ice. This death is warm and wet enough that it eats itself from within, like a knotted worm. He's fascinated.
The dream shifts and Fai grips the Hitomi more tightly. This. This feeling he knows well- abandoned, alone, forced apart. Who is C.C.?
The head.
Head!It's too much, Fai drops the device out of purest shock. He's used to death, but only within himself. Yuui was the one who touched the dead, and it's with sudden vertigo that Fai realizes...he doesn't know who's head it was that he was holding. Yuui had called himself 'Fai,' and did that mean that Fai was now Yuui? The names, the trauma raged and settled in his mind like a snowstorm ( ... )
Reply
Oh. Hello.
It's called Kannagara.
Reply
He's... been here before?
Also: this other kid is in seriously bad health. ]
Who are you? Do you know why I'm here? [ Lelouch is crouching in this alley, hoping not to be seen. This is a bad place to be, he can definitely tell. ] Are they feeding you? [ For some reason, the vague idea that kidnapping has something to do with this place is floating around the back of his mind. ]
Reply
[This, contacting this boy, touching the hitomi at all, continuing the conversation... This is probably a bad idea]
I don't know. I think this...might be where you go, when you're dead. I just got here yesterday.
[He cocks his head at that expression. It's familiar, a little, but at the same time...why does this boy seem like someone Fai should already know?]
No. Yuui says I have to go slowly, or I'll throw up, so it's just broth.
Reply
[ This comes out forcefully - shrilly, even. Lelouch's eyes are slightly wild. No, no, no, Fath that man was wrong, he was wrong, Lelouch is not dead, not dead, he is alive, he is living, he is breathing, he is something. He can't be dead. Suzaku said. Suzaku said, You're not dead; you're alive because you are living, and Lelouch made himself believe it.
He is alive. He is something. He is not nothing. ]
Whoever told you that is lying. How can you be dead? You look really sick - if you were dead already, why would you need to eat? You're probably delirious.
[ He pauses, seems to remember something. ]
You said you got here yesterday... Did someone bring you? Take you away from somewhere?
Reply
[Yoite is staring, a little sick to his stomach. He's seen you like this before, Lelouch, and he doesn't have good memories of that event. Everything that had happened before and after the innocent game of hide and seek, the gods toying with the world and everything in it.
It was what had begun everything. What had thrown him in together with Shimizu Raikou.
And it was how he first met you.]
Reply
Look, I don't know who you are, and I don't know why you know me. [ Guarded, wary; this is not the young Lelouch that Yoite knew. This is a Lelouch much farther on his way down the path that will eventually lead him to becoming the leader of a rebellion, the conqueror of a world. This is a child who has become used to people expecting to use him. ] What do you want?
Reply
Had he been mistaken?
Of course, this is neither of the Lelouch's he's met before, perhaps now he has the chance to repent for being in the other one's life.]
Gomen. I don't want anything [He whispers, bowing his head]
Reply
Hey - hey, don't back out on me. I'm sorry, I was just -
Are you here by accident, too? I don't know what's going on, but...
[ Lelouch looks around, as if someone might overhear this ridiculous sentiment. ]
I feel like I've been here before and I don't remember it. I know that sounds crazy.
Reply
And he doesn't try to imagine the person he knows (knew? is it past tense now?) who was golden and glowing and always, it seemed, leaving, by choice or not, here and at home, but an imagination less active than Matt's would probably still see C.C.'s hair and smile and mercurial nature as reflections of someone else's.
He's seen himself dead in his mind's eye more times than he can count; this, too, isn't a new feeling, but the horror of it never dims, even as he feels the curiosity spark: why? why show me this?
Matt's seen Lelouch in passing, on the network and in person, but they've never actually talked, and it's only when Matt starts to surface from sleep that he realizes this didn't turn into a dream about being small. Or not only a dream. He sends his ( ... )
Reply
Who are you?
Reply
[He rubs at the back of his neck. If Lelouch doesn't remember all of the dream, that's gonna be a hell of a non sequitor.]
Reply
I can't talk to you anymore. I don't know what drugs you're doing, but I don't have any money and I can't help you. Also, you should probably check into a rehab center as soon as you can.
Reply
is C.C. appearing like a ghost, when Suzaku still remembers her hands on his face when she tells him that he can't go away burning every village that he dons unjust, 'Zero' or not-'Zero', and that fallen Goddesses are no allies to him when he's obviously ready to turn in whatever's left of his morals to get revenge (again).
and why
not that it was only the outburst he lost his head for (and Suzaku knows this is Lelouch's dream, not his own, for he, himself, will never dream of Gods and Goddesses not of his own world {fallen Goddesses, however...}} and it's his own thoughts he hears now. his own that make the hand gripping the Hitomi clench and nearly crack the screen, nearly distort the image of a man who (is) was dead, of a (goddess) woman Suzaku does not kneel for and
(C.C. kept him from doing it. kept him firmly rooted to the ground -- burn something else I'll accompany you I'll stay with you --
oh god he doesn't want to see that. he doesn't have to feel it to know that he as himself does not want to see that not ( ... )
Reply
Zero
with a rage that makes him just as uncontrollable now than when he was a child.)
turning on the feed, only half-confused. (no memories of here, he assumes but keeps it to himself.) Yomisato (near? not near him, not really, not anymore, perhaps he should... he should go to him this time not caring if Lelouch wants that or not and snatch him up and keep him safe even after he returns to normal if he ever does). ] Lelouch.
Kannagara- it's not Britannia, or [ Area 11 ] Japan... or really anywhere you or myself are familiar with.
Reply
[ Another older person who knows Lelouch's name - but this guy looks -
wait.
Lelouch peers into the screen, squints. A look of shock rolls over his face. ]
- Suzaku?
Reply
You're not Suzaku. Who are you? Why do you know my name?
Reply
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