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Title: The New Mutants, volume XX: Naughty Children
Author: kanedax
Fandom: X-Men Movieverse
Spoilers: X3, New Mutants volumes I-XIX (see above)
Rating: PG15, since it's too strong for 13, too mild for R. For language, slight nudity, and lots of sexual talk. In multiple languages.
Pairings: Theresa/Remy, discussed Alison/Remy
Summary: The X-Men meet the Commander of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Alison makes Kurt's head hurt. In German.
Notes: So I was going to make this one the ultimate ratchet up to the final battle. But then I started writing Alison's conversation (who is slowly turning into the NM version of Faith, in my head) and couldn't stop myself. So the ratchet and the beginning of the battle will all be in the next chapter. As usual, I don't own the X-Men, Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, or anyone from the Ultimate Marvel universe. But I'm having a Furiously good time writing one of them.
Previous Chapter (Unholy Alliance) / Naughty Children translation / Next Chapter (Vengeance Unfolds)
Clarice watched as the portal closed on Rogue and Bobby, then lowered her hand and turned back to the X-Men. They watched as Magneto ran to the two prison cells, looking inside.
“They’re not here,” he said, turning out. “My children aren’t here!”
“Of course they’re not,” a voice said from down the hall. A man approached the group, a black man, shaved bald. A scar crossed his cheek, disappearing behind an eye patch before appearing on the other side, across his temple. In one hand was clenched an assault rifle, in his teeth a lit cigar. He wore a dark blue uniform, and was followed by at least a dozen armed troops.
“We wouldn’t be so stupid to put escaped prisoners in the same place twice,” the man said firmly.
“Nick,” Hank said, a small smile crossing his face. He walked up to the soldier, and the two shook hands.
“Where are they?” Magneto said.
Nick looked distrustfully at Erik, then turned to Hank, who nodded.
“He’s fighting with us, Commander,” Hank replied. “For this mission, at least, he’s an X-Man just like the rest of us.”
Nick’s good eye narrowed, then he sighed. “Fine,” he said. “But don’t expect me to take a bullet for him.”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Hank said, turning to the X-Men, “This is Nicholas Fury, Commander of S.H.I.E.L.D. forces here at the Raft.”
“The Ambassador warned us that you were coming,” Fury said, “and also warned us of the potential incoming threat.”
“Are my children here?” Magneto persisted.
“They are,” Fury relented.
“What kind of troop support do we have?” Ororo asked.
“None,” Fury replied.
“What does that mean?” Logan asked.
“It means that I’ve called in as many troops as I could muster within a short time frame. More will be arriving within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, if need be. Our priority is the prison. We’re currently holding dozens of super powered criminals in this facility, and the last thing we need is another one coming in and blowing everything to hell.
“Your history and success in battle is well known to our organization,” Fury continued. “That, along with the assurance of the Ambassador, is why we’re allowing your X-Men free reign in this facility in the fight against the threat, so long as it does not compromise our mission.”
“And if it does?” Logan asked.
“Then you’ll be collateral damage,” Fury said simply.
“Swell,” Logan growled.
“That being said,” Fury said. “We want to try to keep the body count as low as possible. Who is in command of this operation?”
“I am,” Ororo said, stepping forward.
“Ororo Munroe,” Fury said. “I should have guessed. What is your group’s strategy?”
Ororo shrugged. “Recon the place until the Phoenix shows up, and go from there.”
“That leaves an awful lot of grey area, Munroe.”
“We’re flexible,” she replied.
Fury pulled the cigar from his mouth. “After your troops are given their orders and situated, I would ask that you and I keep to the same area, to make sure our wires don’t get crossed up.”
“Fair enough,” Ororo said. “But as long as my troops are here, we go on a code name basis.”
“And at that,” Fury said, flipping his rifle to lean against his shoulder. “I would ask the Ambassador to follow us.”
Hank looked startled. “Where are we going?” he asked.
“Our orders from the Security Council are to escort you away from the battlefield, and to locate you to a secure area.”
“Like hell you are,” Hank growled.
“Sir, you’re too much of an asset to the international community,” Fury said. “We can’t put your life at risk.”
“Where are we right now?” Hank asked. “Where is the raft located? Are we in America?”
Fury dropped the rifle to his side. “We are currently standing on land graciously donated to the United Nations by the People’s Republic of China.”
“Excellent,” Hank replied. “That means I have diplomatic immunity.”
“But, sir…”
“If you attempt to subdue me,” Hank continued, “I will fight you tooth and nail the entire way. You’ll have to injure me to get me out of here, and I seriously doubt your organization wants that kind of ambassadorial blood on their hands, Fury. Am I correct?”
Fury’s face hardened. “Very well, sir,” he said shortly. “As long as I have your word that if something should happen to you, we will not be held responsible.”
“Agreed,” Hank replied.
“My orders have already been given,” Fury said to Munroe. “Get yours made, and let’s get this show on the road.”
“Thank you, Commander,” Ororo said, turning to the group. “Forge, hand out the equipment. We have comm devices for each of you, as well as weaponry for anyone who feels they’ll need it. Unfortunately we’re a little short on long-distance powers right now, so these will have to do. I would ask that anyone who knows how to fire a gun should take one.”
Forge handed out small earpieces to each X-Man, then lay a selection of laser rifles on the ground.
“Shadowcat,” Storm said. “You and Colossus are together. I want you two on the roof. Wolverine, Beast, Magneto, you’re on the ground outside. Banshee, you’re on aerial recon. If you see a big flaming ball, scream your ass off.”
“That I can do,” Sean replied.
“What about me?” Clarice asked quietly.
“You’re staying with us,” Storm said. “Forge, Fury, I assume one of you has access to surveillance equipment?”
“There’s security cameras all over the facility,” Fury replied. “We can watch from the surveillance room.”
“Might not be good enough,” she said.
“I brought a laptop with me,” Forge said, digging in his bag. “There’s cameras on each of the earpieces, plus it should take me about five minutes to wire into the camera network.”
“I doubt it,” Fury replied. “Those fuckers are state of the art. Hackproof.”
Forge turned to Storm and chuckled. “He don’t know me too well, do he?”
“Blink,” Storm said to Clarice. “You’ll be watching the monitors with us. If there’s any trouble, or if the Phoenix gets past the outside gate, your job is to get everyone inside. Got it?”
“I think I can,” Clarice replied. “I might have to travel out and in to do it, though. I can’t just open a portal that’s not within a certain distance.”
“If it gets to that,” Kitty said, “I can get to you, and keep you out of phase. Nothing will touch you.”
“Don’t I get a gun?” Magneto asked.
“I thought you didn’t like guns,” Ororo replied.
“Oh, I don’t,” Magneto said, his voice on the edge of sarcasm as always. “But I also don’t appreciate being put on the front line without a healing factor or a monkey’s body.”
“Beast,” Ororo said. “Open the bag.”
Hank unzipped the gym bag, and Magneto’s face lit up. He reached his hand out to the bag, and the soldiers behind Fury raised their guns in unison as twenty knives from the Academy kitchen floated out of the bag and began circling Erik.
“Stand down!” Fury screamed to his men at the same instant that Ororo screamed it at Magneto.
“This should be fun,” Magneto said, grinning from ear to ear.
“We’ll have our eye on you, Lehnsherr,” Storm said. “Don’t pull anything stupid.”
“Now why would I do a thing like that, Miss Storm?” he asked.
“That’s a fine question, Lehnsherr,” Fury said. “Because if you so much as give a paper cut to one of my boys, I have two men with guns trained on projects Quicksilver and Polaris. I give the order, they pull the trigger, and you’ll be scraping your children off the wall thanks to two plastic bullets, do you understand me?”
Erik frowned angrily, glaring at Fury.
“Do you understand me?” Fury repeated.
“Fine,” Erik replied through clenched teeth, and the knives stopped spinning around him, stopping in place and pointing their blades upwards.
“Are you done, Storm?” Fury asked.
“Not quite yet,” she said, bending down and digging through the bag. She pulled out a Newsweek magazine.
“Blink,” she said, flipping through the pages. “I need you to make one more portal for me.” She opened the book to a picture of a skyscraper, and gave it to her.
“Can you open one there?”
“Magic?”
“Yeah, ever try it?”
Alison snorted as she and Jimmy left the boys dormitory, each carrying a handful of movies.
“Of course I haven’t,” she replied.
“But it’s really fun,” Jimmy said. “I was in a few tournaments before I moved into Worthington Labs.”
“When I was in high school,” Alison said, “Magic was for nerds and losers. I kinda avoided it like the plague.”
“They’re not for losers,” Jimmy said quietly, and Alison patted his shoulder.
“Nothing personal, Jimmy Boy,” she said, “But it’ll be a cold day in hell before you see me slinging any cards that don’t have diamonds and spades on them.”
“Fine,” he said.
“Hold up a minute,” she said as they passed the girls dorm. “I wanna grab a sweatshirt, it’s fucking freezing in here.”
She opened the door, and they were greeted by a high-pitched scream. Jimmy clapped his hands over his ears as a photograph hanging nearby shattered.
“Oh, hey, guys,” Alison said, walking into the room as though nothing happened.
“Hey!” Theresa said as Jimmy looked in. She was sitting on her bed, a blanket pulled up to cover her apparently naked chest. Remy was sitting up next to her, wearing nothing above his boxers. A chess set lay scattered on the ground next to the bed.
“Breaking off a piece, huh?” Alison said as she walked by the couple. “Good job, Cassidy.”
“Do you mind?” Theresa said quickly, her bare shoulders turning red along with her face. “We’re kinda busy.”
“Nah, I don’t mind,” Alison said, nonchalantly walking to the closet and pulling out a sweater. “Nothing I haven’t seen before. On tour I walked in on a twenty-man orgy once. Not a twenty-person orgy. A twenty-man orgy. Compared to that, walking in on you two playing a little nip and twist isn’t anything to write home about.”
“Not one for modesty, are you, Blaire?” Remy asked, leaning back against the wall.
“Sweetie, once you’ve stood stark naked in front of thirty roadies and media types, peeing into a rusty metal bucket during a costume change, then we can talk about modesty.”
“Can’t say that I’ve done that, no,” Remy replied as Alison walked back to the door.
“By the way,” she said. “We’re gonna start the movie pretty soon. And since I’m fairly sure everyone in a three-mile radius heard Cassidy’s scream, you might wanna get dressed and join us. If, you know, modesty’s a thing.”
“We’ll be down in a few minutes,” Theresa said, looking around for her bra.
Alison looked at Jimmy and patted him on the shoulder. “You can blink now, Jimmy Boy.”
“I can?” he breathed, his eyes practically falling out of their sockets. Theresa looked down, realized her breast was showing, and hastily pulled the sheet up to her chin.
“Let’s leave the lovebirds to finish what they started,” she said, and, grabbing one of Theresa’s socks that had been flung across the room, closed the door behind them. She stuffed the sock on the doorknob and the two walked down to the living room.
“That was… interesting,” Jimmy stumbled.
“Took them long enough,” Alison said as they entered the living room. “If I were in her shoes I would have fucked him on the kitchen table a month ago. In five different positions.”
“You really aren’t one for modesty,” Jimmy said, shaking his head.
“Whipped cream and chocolate syrup,” she continued, either not seeing or not caring that Jones and Lucas were staring at her, dumbfounded. “He wouldn’t be able to walk for a week, it’d be a blast.”
“Part of me wants to ask,” Jones said, “part of me is deathly afraid.”
“Do we have any Ewan McGregor flicks?” Alison asked, flopping onto the couch and flipping through the movies. “I’m fuckin’ horny now.”
“Watch your language, kleine Madchen,” Kurt scolded as he walked into the room. “There are children present.”
“Any Jolie?” she asked, ignoring him. “Alba? Stacy Keibler? Swear to God, I’m so wet right now I could go both ways.”
“Miss Blaire!” Kurt yelled, aghast.
“Calm down, Mr. Wagner,” Alison said, pronouncing it phonetically. “I’m not going to molest anyone. I’m just looking for something so I can get my vibe on later.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, turning his face to the ceiling. “Mein Gott,” he sighed. “Verzeihen Sie bitte dem frechen Kind.”
“Ich bin so frech gewesen,” Alison said, turning to face him. “Ich verdiene eine Prügel.”
Kurt started, and shot a look at Alison. “You speak German?”
“Ja, mein Herr,” she said, smiling innocently. “My grandpa’s family is from Schneeberg.”
“Saxony or Bavaria?”
“Bavaria.”
“Ah,” he nodded. “That’s still no reason for you to use such language.”
“Jeder Orgasmen, Herr Wagner,” she said.
“Miss Blaire,” he said, putting his hand on his forehead.
“Mehrfache Zeiten.”
“Miss Blaire, please…”
“Manchmal sprizen wir,” she finished, leaning back on the couch with a naughty grin on her face.
“Where are Bobby and Rogue?” he said loudly. “Perhaps they can calm you down.”
“I’m so horny a threesome probably won’t do it for me tonight,” Alison said quietly as Jones choked on his water.
“Guter Lord im Himmel und alle seine verrückten Neffeen,” Kurt sighed, leaning his head against the wall.
“They’re outside,” Jones said. “Training.”
“Outside?” Kurt said, walking to the window. “But it’s so cold out. And it’s dark.”
“They just needed to get out, I guess,” Lucas said. “I don’t blame them. Not being able to go with the rest of the team, and all that.”
“Havok’s out there with them,” Jones said.
“Havoc?” Jimmy asked.
“With a ‘k’,” Lucas said, smiling. “That’s Alex’s codename.”
“Okay, I’m lost,” Alison said. “When did this happen?”
“When you guys were upstairs,” Lucas replied. “We decided that it would probably be smart, in case we get sucked into a fight sometime.”
“I’m Glitch,” Jones said, his face shining proudly.
“My codename’s Bishop,” Lucas said, “cuz, sometimes, if your last name’s cool enough, you don’t need a codename. People just assume that you’re making it up cuz it’s so awesome. You know, like Ra’s Al Ghul or Sgt. Rock.”
“That was possibly the dorkiest thing I’ve ever heard,” Alison said, smiling in admiration nonetheless.
Lucas dropped his head. “Forge said it when we saved Alex, and it kinda stuck.”
“What’s the conversation?” Theresa asked as she and Remy walked into the living room.
“Well, the nymphos have joined the outside world!” Alison said. “Finished her off pretty quick there, huh, Cajun?”
“What’s the conversation?” Theresa repeated, blushing but otherwise ignoring Alison.
Alison sighed. “God, I need to cum.”
“Alison!” Kurt yelled.
“One more time, what’s the conversation?” Theresa asked loudly.
“Codenames,” Jimmy said.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Alison said, and quickly walked out of the living room.
“We figured it’s about time we had our own,” Jones said.
“I’m Bishop, Jones is Glitch, and Alex is Havok,” Lucas said, pointing his thumb out the window.
“I might as well be Leech,” Jimmy said. “It’s the project name the Lab gave me when I was first brought in. Works as well as anything.”
“We already took care of that,” Theresa said as she and Remy sat down on the couch. Remy put his arm around her, and she leaned against him. “He’s Gambit, I’m Siryn. With a ‘y’.”
“Are those codenames or pet names?” Jones asked, his lip curled. “Like Smooshieface and Honey Bear?”
“Those actually don’t sound that bad,” Lucas said.
“What?” Jones asked. “Smooshieface?”
“If you ever call me Smooshieface I’ll charge up your glasses and see what happens, Glitch,” Remy said, throwing a pillow at Jones with his free arm.
“So what’s the feature tonight?” Theresa asked, leaning forward and looking at the movies.
“Haven’t decided yet,” Bishop said. “I still say Star Wars.”
“You always say Star Wars,” Alison said as she walked back into the room and flopped down on the couch. “Anyone got a cigarette? My legs are shaking.”
“Might want to watch where you put that hand, Blaire,” Remy said as she reached into the popcorn. “We don’t know where it’s been.”
“I can tell you exactly where it’s been, LeBeau,” Alison said as she shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth. “In graphic detail, if you want.”
“Let’s not,” Kurt groaned. “Please?”
“If anyone needs to use the bathroom,” she continued, popcorn bits flying from her mouth, “you can ignore my undies. They’re hanging on the towel rack.”
“Oh, Lord,” Theresa moaned, rolling her eyes. “I don’t wanna know.”
“What?” Alison said. “They were fucking soaked, there’s no way I was putting those things back on.”
“You’re doing your own laundry this time,” Theresa said. “As long as you’re in heat like this.”
“Cassidy, I’m always like this,” Alison said, taking another handful and throwing her feet up on the coffee table. “You just sleep like a rock when you’re in the dorm, so you don’t hear me buzzing.”
“And the girl takes another step towards der Teufel,” Kurt sighed. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen. Praying.”
“So what’s Alison’s code name?” Lucas asked.
“The one Logan gave her, of course,” Remy said. “Right, Dazzler?”
“Fuck you, LeBeau,” Alison replied, and then paused in thought. “Actually… let’s go with it.”
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