(no subject)
Title: The Blue Beast
Author: KanedaX
Pairing: Count Dooku (Star Wars Episodes II & III)/Super Grover (Sesame Street)
Rating: R (for the realization that Lucas may have actually thought of this)
Notes: For the ithurtsmybrain Pairing List. I do not own Count Dooku, Super Grover, Christopher Lee, Jim Henson, Frank Oz, George Lucas, or a llama.
The following is a scene from the Director’s Cut of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. While details are sketchy at best, it is believed that George Lucas felt the movie as a whole was too mature, what with the genocide, the beheadings, and the horrific romantic scenes between Anakin & Padme. He felt that this new addition would both help create a more kid-friendly atmosphere to the final scenes of the film, as well as open an entirely new line of marketing for the next few years.
Was Lucas in the right? Or did the editors ultimately make the best decision?
The choice is left to you.
Was this the best the Jedi had to offer? Count Dooku chuckled. Kicking aside Anakin Skywalker’s severed arm, lightsaber still in its grasp, he walked slowly towards his transport.
"Soon," he spoke to himself, looking down on the tiny holographic image of Palpatine’s Death Star, "My master will have his war."
"I would not leave so soon, Dooku."
The Count paused, not really surprised to hear the squeaky voice of his former master.
"Master Yoda," Dooku growled, turning to face his opponent, "At last we shall know who…"
The sentence faltered as he viewed who was before him. The voice was that of Yoda, but the figure was too tall. And his cloak, which masked the face, was a shining red instead of Yoda’s usual brown. And his grammatical structure was completely wrong.
As the hooded figure raised his head to face Dooku, a surge of fear coursed through the Count’s body.
He had been told of the mouth that opened like a steel trap, an unspeakable darkness lying within. Of the sinewy arms like two mad pythons.
And the eyes. Those horrible, unblinking eyes that spoke volumes of the calculating mind within the round, furry head.
He had heard the legend, but had never before faced The Blue Beast.
"Grover…" Dooku muttered, trying to hide the dread that nonetheless peeked out from the corners of his quivering voice.
"Not Grover," The Beast replied. The hood fell back, the cape fell away, revealing a shining knight’s helmet and a S-emblazoned shield on his bare blue chest.
"This looks like a job for…
"SUPER GROVER! YAAAAAAAAHHH!"
Dooku recoiled in fear, instinctively raising his lightsaber as Super Grover left the ground and flew towards him, jaw wide, arms flailing. He swung his glowing red weapon, hoping to make some contact before the Beast devoured him.
The saber missed its target.
As did Super Grover, flying a good five feet above Dooku and slamming headfirst into the wall behind him.
"Ohhhhh," Super Grover groaned, weaving back and forth across the tarmac. His helmet covering his eyes, he did not see the edge of the cave in front of him.
"Waaaaaaaaah!!!" Grover screamed as he lost his balance.
Dooku stepped to the edge of the precipice, watching the Blue Beast fall to his doom.
"One," The Count chuckled, "One stupid puppet. Mwahahahahaha!"
"Dooku," the familiar voice squeaked from behind him. He turned to face the master he expected from the beginning.
"Two," The Count repeated uproariously to Yoda, "Two stupid puppets! Mwahahahahaha!"