Four Years Later: Purple Plastic Ninjas
Title: Four Years Later: Purple Plastic Ninjas
Author: kanedax
Spoilers: Deathly Hallows & Previous Chapters
Characters: Neville, Hermione, Aberforth
Rating: PG13 for language
Summary: A man walks into a bar
Notes: This chapter was written using challenge prompts from my friend
xturtle, who will now hopefully owe me a burrito. I don’t own any of these characters, they belong to JK Rowling.
Forty-Two Months Later: Things You Already Know / Previous Chapters / Five Years Later: Harpy Versus Vulture
The Professor walked into a bar.
Sounds like the opening line of some bad joke, Neville Longbottom thought as he stepped into the Hog’s Head. As usual, the smell of ale, vomit, and goats smacked him across the face. No matter how often he and his friends would come in here, Neville didn’t think that was an odor he’d ever get used to.
The pub was almost completely empty. This didn’t surprise Neville very much. It was a Friday, sure. But it was only ten in the morning, and those who weren’t working at this time of day were too drawn by the warm July sun to be cooped up in here. Why have a pint in here when you can crack open a bottle out on your front lawn?
Neville’s eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. It was more complete than usual, due in no small part to the small number of burning candles and the lack of a fire in the fireplace. It was July, after all. A big place like this gets hot enough in a heat wave without having to deal with open flames.
The Hog’s Head had the usual clientele, the ones that would be here on a July afternoon as commonly as on New Year’s Eve. Most people in Neville’s position, or the position of any of his friends, would have thought it insane to come in here. Why hang out in a dark, dank pub full of ne’er-do-wells and social outcasts when the Three Broomsticks was a much more lively, hospitable pub down the street?
Neville knew better, though. Probably more than any of his friends, who also made it a point to stop in at the Head whenever they happened to be in Hogsmeade. The Hog’s Head had been the place where Dumbledore’s Army began. But it was also Neville’s lifeblood in his seventh year. He would have been dead or worse, along with who knows how many students, if it weren’t for this pub and its owner, who shuffled up to him as he sat down on a rickety stool. He was off-putting to most, but Neville recognized a kind face and a keen eye when he saw one.
“Professor,” the barkeep said, nodding in subdued greeting.
“Ab, you don’t have to call me that,” said Neville.
“Why not?” asked Aberforth Dumbledore with a small smile. “It’s what you are, isn’t it?”
“Well, I guess,” said Neville. “I just… it’ll take me a while to get used to the title.”
“Whatever you say, Professor Longbottom,” growled Aberforth, the glint of a joke still in his voice. “What’ll it be?”
“Nothing for now,” said Neville, scanning the room, trying to squint into the darkened corners. “I’m waiting for someone.”
“She’s upstairs.”
Neville turned back around to face Aberforth. “She is?”
“She said she needed to get some work done,” said Aberforth. “I figured she was in too nice of a getup and in too frazzled of a mood. A brawl breaks out every few hours or so, I didn’t think she was in a position for me to play the odds.”
“I can go up, right?”
“You buying anything?”
“Butterbeer?”
Aberforth snorted. “You kids,” he said. “The Weasley boy’s the only one to ever get something worth it when he’s in here. How am I supposed to make a profit?”
“Hey, I get some ale and firewhiskey occasionally,” Neville said indignantly as Aberforth set the bottle on the table. “I just have some work I need to get done today, too.”
“Yeah, whatever,” said Aberforth. “Don’t watch yourself, this toddler shit’s going to be fifty Galleons a bottle next time you show up.”
“I’ll be sure to bring a bigger purse,” said Neville as he walked toward the stairs.
“It’ll rot your teeth,” Aberforth yelled after him.
“I won’t swig it around in my mouth, then!”
“Keep the hanky panky to a minimum, would ya?” Aberforth got in the last word. Neville responded with a gesture that got the younger Dumbledore roaring with laughter as he closed the door between the pub and the second floor.
She sat at a small table as Neville entered the room. There was a book open in front of her, which she leaned over with a level of concentration that Neville remembered from years of seeing her in the Gryffindor common room or the library. A shiny blue bag (Plastic? Neville thought, not having seen many plastic bags in his life in the wizard world) was leaning against her chair.
Neville sat down in a chair across from her. She was mumbling something to herself as she studied the book.
“Hey, Hermione,” Neville said quietly, and Hermione Weasley yelped in surprise.
“Oh God!” she gasped, putting her hand on her chest. “Neville! I didn’t even hear you come in.”
“Sorry,” said Neville. “I thought I made enough noise.”
Hermione shook her head. “You might have,” she said, putting a leather bookmark into her book and closing it. “I was just studying. Guess I lost track of everything.”
“I know,” said Neville, smiling, “That’s usually how it works with you.”
“I have a big meeting in an hour,” Hermione said, pulling a pocket watch from her dress robes and reading it. “Scratch that… forty-five minutes.”
“Well, we can make this quick, then,” said Neville, cracking open his bottle. “I can just take my stuff and be on my way.”
“No!” said Hermione quickly, reaching across the table and patting his arm. “No, no hurry at all. I Flooed Kingsley when I got here, he’s setting up a special connection from this fireplace for me.”
Neville looked at the hearth. Things hadn’t changed since the last time he was in this room. Sirius Black’s mirror still stood on the mantle, with the portrait of Ariana Dumbledore smiling from the wall above it. I wonder if the passage to the Room of Requirement is still there, he thought. Hell, I wonder if the Room of Requirement even exists. Just how powerful is Fiendfyre, anyway?
“If you’re sure,” said Neville. “I don’t want you to get into trouble.”
“Neville, I haven’t spoken to you since last summer,” said Hermione warmly. “There’s no rush. Really.”
“Brilliant,” Neville said with a grin, and reached across the table. He put his hand on top of Hermione’s book and spun it around so the title was facing him.
“The Oxford Hindi-English Dictionary,” he read out loud.
“I have a meeting in Agra,” Hermione explained, pulling the book back to her. “A large situation briefing between English and Indian officials, both from the wizard and Muggle communities.”
“Still working with the anti-terrorism unit?”
“That’s right,” said Hermione. “There’s some intelligence information that’s suggesting some English wizards, immigrants from India, are planning some attacks on Muggles in their hometown. And, of course, now that I’ve told you that, I’m going to have to kill you.”
“I’ll get my will prepared,” Neville chuckled.
Hermione, however, remained straight faced. “No killing,” she said. “But I can trust you when I say that that information never leaves this room, right?”
“Of course,” said Neville, shaking his head in wonder. “You really are in deep, aren’t you?”
“They’ve been raising me up the ranks pretty quickly,” said Hermione. “That’s probably why I’m one of the representatives at this meeting instead of Harry. He does good work, but being a figurehead can only get you so far so fast. As much as the Indian Ministry would love to see him there, he wouldn’t help get the particulars across.”
“Still,” said Neville, “Not bad for a girl who’s only been out of school three years.”
“Yeah,” said Hermione, absently flipping through the pages of her book. “It’s nerve-wracking, though. Another year or two and I’ll have to start dealing with the possibility of Obliviation if I ever decide to get out.”
Neville whistled softly. “I didn’t realize that they did that.”
“It makes perfect sense,” Hermione shrugged. “If you want to keep your information secure, there’s no better way to do it than by just deleting it from someone’s memory when it’s no longer needed.”
“Kinda defeats the purpose of intelligence, doesn’t it?”
“They have other ways of keeping the information where they need it,” said Hermione. “Ways that don’t involve the keeper wandering around the street, open to any Legilimens or Death Eater with a beef. You know that as much as I do, Neville. You were in the Hall of Prophecies. Memories can be kept under lock and key if they want them held badly enough.”
Neville nodded. “And once again I assume that this information should never be uttered anywhere else?”
“It’s safe enough in case anyone decides to pry you,” said Hermione. “But, just to be careful, don’t go mentioning this conversation to anyone, right?”
“Right,” Neville said as he pulled Hermione’s book back toward him. “So you’re brushing up on your Hindi?”
“For the meeting, yes.”
“You do know that it will probably be conducted in English.”
“Just on an official level,” said Hermione shortly, tugging the book away and putting it on her lap. “That doesn’t mean a little Hindi before and after the meeting wouldn’t make a good impression.”
“Do you even know any Hindi?”
“A little bit,” said Hermione. “I taught myself third year.”
Neville’s eyes widened. “Your third year?”
“Just a little…”
“The same year that you were taking double classes with the Time-Turner?”
“A girl can’t have her hobbies?” said Hermione. At one point her situation with the Time-Turner was top secret. But since the supply was destroyed and, as far as she knew, still never replaced, she had been a little looser on the topic over the years.
“Learning a second language is a hobby?”
“Fifth language, actually,” said Hermione. “Runes is considered a language, plus I taught myself French before my family went on holiday there. And I learned Bulgarian when I was dating Viktor.” She blushed slightly at this last comment.
“I hope you don’t mind if I don’t do the math on that one,” said Neville.
“Fair enough,” said Hermione. “And it was quite helpful, actually, the Hindi. I had loads of private conversations with the Patil twins over the years.” She grinned wickedly. “Parvati and I even planned the whole Cormac McLaggen fiasco right in front of Ron and Lavender, they didn’t even know we were talking about them.”
A woman scorned, thought Neville with no small amount of wonder. “So how is Ron, anyway?” he asked, taking a swig of his butterbeer to wash out the taste of fear.
“He’s doing fine.”
“Still working with George?”
“For now…”
“You don’t sound very happy with the situation.”
“Well, of course I’m not,” Hermione sighed. “I know he has potential to do really great things. To make something of himself. But right now he seems perfectly content to live out the rest of his days just getting along.”
“It’s a family business, though,” Neville said. “You can understand why he wants to work there, right?”
“I can,” she said. “But I don’t think Ron wants anything else. And it’s not exactly a family business. A family business gets passed along from generation to generation. But it’s his brother’s store. Ron will never be able to go any higher up the ladder than he is now. He’ll never be able to own it, or manage it. It will always be George’s store, until he hands it off to his son or daughter, if they ever come about.”
“I’m sure he’ll start itching to move on one of these days,” said Neville. “We’re young still.”
“I hope so,” said Hermione. “I make plenty of money where I’m at, but it would still be nice to have a bit of a larger nest egg for if we ever start a family.”
“Well, he could do the homeschooling thing with them,” said Neville.
Hermione looked at Neville with a skeptical eyebrow. “Do you really think I’d trust Ron to teach my children?”
“Good point,” Neville said with a smile. “So you’re hoping he finds something decent and profitable so you can teach them yourself? You seem a natural for it.”
“I don’t know,” said Hermione with a sigh. “I’m not sure of I could see myself dropping my career to sit at home.”
“Well, what’s the other option?” he said. “Muggle school?”
“It’s been discussed,” she said. “It’s not that bad. I mean, it worked for Harry and me. We still got along fine at Hogwarts with a Muggle education.”
“I suppose that’s true,” said Neville, not sure if he could imagine learning his reading and writing from anyone but his Gran. Just goes to show the difference between wizards and Muggles, he thought.
“It’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get to it,” said Hermione. “We’re still not ready to start a family, so that particular subject is a long way off.”
“So how is Harry doing, anyway?” asked Neville.
“You haven’t seen him yet?” asked Hermione.
“I only got back on Sunday,” Neville explained. “Hogwarts professors take about a week after the students leave to get themselves sorted out, make sure everything’s packed away and cleaned up. I spent a couple more days with Pomona so she could make sure that I was comfortable enough in the position to be on my own next year. Sprout wasn’t sure if the new Headmaster or Headmistress would be okay with a supervised Herbology professor, so she wanted to make sure I could assure her of my independence.”
“So McGonagall’s definitely retiring?”
“There’s some talk going around the staffroom about a retirement party for her sometime next month. Interested?”
“Definitely,” said Hermione. “Send us an invitation if it extends beyond the faculty. I’m sure Harry and Ginny would want one, too.”
“Great,” said Neville. “But, yeah, I haven’t had much time. I got back on Sunday, spent the whole day unpacking. Spent Monday with Gran, met up with Luna on Tuesday, and spent Thursday with Gran again.”
“What about Wednesday?”
“What about it?”
“You skipped it entirely.”
Neville turned red. “I got together with Luna on Tuesday,” he said. “And didn’t leave her till Thursday morning. I decided you wouldn’t want graphic details about those two days, is all.”
“Oh!” said Hermione, her face turning red to match Neville’s. However, she couldn’t help smiling. “I think that’s great, though. Luna’s been talking about you coming home ever since the last Hogsmeade weekend.”
“Yeah, I know,” said Neville. “We’ve been owling each other a lot. Having a few Floo conversations whenever Xeno’s not around. And even when I got together with her during the Hogsmeade trips, it still had to be fairly public. This was our first time that we’ve actually had alone since last summer.”
And one of these days I’ll get up the courage to actually leave the grounds on the nights when I’m not patrolling.
“Don’t worry about the graphic details, either,” said Hermione with a grin. “I haven’t spoken to Luna since your little get-together. I’m sure she’ll give us more than we want to know when she comes over this weekend.”
“Well, I’ll be with her,” Neville said. “So I’ll try to keep her discussions from veering into triple X. I can’t guarantee double X, but triple X I can fight.”
“You’ll be home for a month?”
“Pretty much,” said Neville. “I’ll have to take a few days to visit Muggle-borns. But otherwise, yeah, I’m free till mid-August. And I’m planning to spend as much time with her as I can while I’m off the chain. She’s going to be coming with me to Grimmauld Place tomorrow, too.”
“Oh, that’s right, I forgot!” said Hermione, leaning over to the ground and picking up the plastic bag and handing it to Neville. “Here’s the birthday present.”
“Thanks,” Neville replied, reading the front of the bag. “Toys R Us?”
“It’s a Muggle toy store,” Hermione explained as Neville pulled the package out of the bag. “They spell it that way on purpose. You have your own wrapping paper, though, right? Teddy’s only four, but he still might recognize ours.”
“Yeah, I can wrestle something together.” Neville examined the toy, encased inside a plastic bubble and taped to a piece of cardboard backing. “It’s a purple plastic ninja.”
“It’s a Power Ranger,” Hermione clarified. “And otherwise I have no idea.”
“And it’s a Muggle toy?” he asked with some confusion.
“He and Caroline watch it on the telly whenever Andromeda or the Potters are visiting my parents. It doesn’t matter if it’s Muggle or wizard. If Caroline likes it, then Teddy likes it.”
Neville chuckled. “Your sister already has an admirer?”
“They’re four,” said Hermione defensively. “One minute they’re playing house and talking about getting married, the next minute they’re chucking Duplos at each other or smearing pudding on their faces.”
“Sounds like a grown-up relationship to me,” said Neville. “But I suppose it could be worse. Caroline’s into ninjas. At least she has some tomboy in her. I don’t know how Harry would react if Teddy started getting into ballerinas and fairy princesses.”
“If Teddy started wearing his hair pink, I don’t think Harry would mind that much. It would remind him of Tonks.”
“Yeah,” said Neville uncomfortably. The two fell into silence.
“Anyway,” Hermione said, clearing her throat, “Harry and Andromeda went through what Teddy got for his birthday, and this was one of the things he didn’t have. They thought he might like it.”
“Good,” said Neville quickly. “I’ll get it wrapped and give it to him tomorrow. Hopefully he doesn’t mind the belated birthday present.”
“They’re four,” Hermione repeated. “A toy’s a toy, no matter when it comes.”
“Tomorrow’s going to be weird enough without a cranky little boy,” said Neville. “I’m meeting the infamous cousin for the first time.”
“Oh, that’s right,” said Hermione. “Dudley and Susan are going to be there.”
“Anything I should know?” asked Neville. “Luna doesn’t have anything bad to say about him, but she doesn’t have anything bad to say about anyone. Nothing I should be concerned about? No tusks? No random spoutings of profanity or projectile vomit?”
“Nothing like that, strangely enough,” said Hermione. “I only met him once before the wedding, but he seems like a completely different person than the one that Harry described to me over the years.”
“How so?”
“He’s nice.”
“Huh,” said Neville. “That has to be strange.”
“I still don’t think Harry’s completely used to it,” said Hermione. “We’ve been to dinner at the Potters a few times with Petunia or Dudley, and Harry still flinches on occasion. But things seemed to have changed. Ron and I have even been out with Dudley and Susan for drinks on occasion. Petunia, too. They both seem perfectly fine. Really interested in making amends, getting to know our world in a positive light. And Susan just adores Dudley. They’re actually talking about moving in together now that Hannah and Ernie are engaged.”
Neville’s jaw dropped. “Get out of here,” he breathed. “They are?”
“I don’t know why you’re so surprised,” she said. “They were dating through most of school.”
“No one tells me anything,” he sighed.
“Well, it just happened last month. And you do know about Percy and Penelope, right?”
“Ginny mentioned it in one of her owls,” said Neville. “October, right?”
“See?” Hermione said, smiling knowingly. “We do tell you things.”
“Just enough to appease me,” said Neville, winking. “So, okay, Dudley. He’s still a Dursley, right?”
“Right,” said Hermione. “Petunia took back her maiden Evans, but Dudley’s still Dursley, even though he’s thought about getting it legally changed on more than one occasion.”
“That bad, huh?”
“They’ve gotten a few letters from him,” said Hermione sadly. “Each one worse than the last, especially now that Dudley and Susan are a couple. Dudley opened the first few, and then wished that he had burned them instead.”
“What did they say?”
“Oh, you know,” said Hermione. “Blaming us for everything that happened to his family. Ordering Dudley to leave his Mum with the freaks and come back to America where it’s safe. You know, just a constant stream of hate and vitriol about wizards and magic, and even more about James, Lily, Harry, and Petunia.”
“Bloody hell...” Neville breathed.
“It could be worse, though. He had been screaming about going to the press when he left the reception, but I don’t think he has. Savage and Proudfoot went after him, so I think Kingsley ordered some memory modification on him.”
“Do you think they’re keeping watch on him?”
“They might be,” said Hermione. “He might not have gone to the press, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not going to talk about us to someone else. I have a feeling he’d be spouting off on us to Marge or to whoever would listen if the government wasn’t keeping some pressure on him.”
Neville shook his head. “But it could be worse…” he repeated.
“Scrimgoer’s government would have tossed him into Azkaban or just had him killed. Thicknesse wouldn’t have considered the first choice. So, yes, it could be worse.”
At this, Hermione pulled out her watch and sighed as she took another look. “Okay, I have to get going.”
“Not a problem,” said Neville, standing up.
“I’m sorry,” Hermione said, standing with him. “I want to stay longer, but…”
“It’s fine, really,” he said, giving her a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you, too,” she said, hugging him back. “And I’ll see you Sunday, right?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Probably just pizza,” Hermione said, chuckling. “Ron and I are still learning how to cook.”
“Pizza’s fine.”
Hermione walked to the fireplace and took a flowerpot from the mantle. “Six o’clock?”
“Perfect,” said Neville, picking up the plastic bag.
“I’ll see you then,” said Hermione, throwing a handful of powder into the fireplace and stepping in.
“See you then,” Neville replied, waving goodbye. Hermione and Ariana both waved back.
“Taj Mahal!” Hermione said loudly, and disappeared in a burst of flame.
Neville pulled the toy out of the bag again and studied it.
Power Ranger? he thought to himself. I have no idea what this thing is. But I knew what Muggle toys were when I was growing up. Does this mean I’m getting old?
“Oh, God, not yet,” he muttered to himself as he stepped out the door.
The fire sprung to life in a secret room of the Taj Mahal in Agra, India. Hermione Weasley stepped out to find Kingsley Shacklebolt and Percy Weasley waiting for her.
“Good morning, Hermione,” said Kingsley, adjusting a stack of papers under his arm to shake her hand.
“Sorry I’m late, sir,” said Hermione, adjusting her robes as she stepped out of the Floo.
“The Indian Ministry officials are waiting upstairs,” said Percy. “And the Muggle representatives are en route.”
“Shall we go upstairs?” said Kingsley, motioning toward the door. “Or do you need a few moments to prepare?”
“No, I’m fine,” said Hermione, once again feeling the butterflies in her stomach that she felt before every test. With a nod, Kingsley and Percy walked through the door, and Hermione followed close behind.
Back to work.
Forty-Two Months Later: Things You Already Know / Previous Chapters / Five Years Later: Harpy Versus Vulture
Challenge prompts:
1) A man walks into a bar
2) A letter that should have been burned without opening
3) Someone decides to skip Wednesday entirely
Props:
1) A leather bookmark
2) A small, plastic purple ninja
3) The Taj Mahal