Got it in one

[kalypso_v]

I had another smear test this week and, as I found my report on the unsuccessful and successful attempts three years ago very useful for planning this time, I'm writing it up again.

Comments

[snowgrouse]

Paracetamol? That's an odd thing to suggest as it always seems to make my mucous membranes (especially the lady parts) more dry and sensitive and masturbation more painful. Huh. And I'm also surprised they don't use stirrups where you go to o_O Here they just do the checkups in a midwife's office and she's got a table with those on. No wonder it gets difficult. I usually prepare with a wank and a sedative to relax my bits because it's so unpleasant. Athough once I got a false positive on a smear test because I'd been wanking so much (while taking other mucous membrane-drying medications) that the cervix was a bit inflamed and the inflammation in and of itself caused minor cell changes. (And yeah, often women doctors and nurses are the worst. Male gyns have usually been really gentle-handed with me.)

Anyway, *HUGS* and here's hoping the test worked out all right.

[kalypso_v]

The Paracetamol does seem to have helped the last couple of times - I haven't felt as sore afterwards (or if I have, it wasn't until a few hours later as the effects wore off). I think it's similar to my mother's practice in later years of taking it before a day's fell-walking, to reduce the stiffness - that seemed to work too.

I can't remember a man doing it, and I don't think I'd like it - too many associations of men with clumsy thumbs fiddling in that area. All the women I've had have been very sympathetic except for that one.

[ajodasso]

Ugh, I know that feel :-/ I was never able to get through one of those exams without my cervix starting to bleed no sooner than they'd prodded it even lightly, and the pain was always rather astonishing *many hugs* I am glad not to have a cervix anymore (granted, the place where it is no longer is currently a mass of stitches that I can actually kind of feel if I let the ibuprofen wear off; it's just generally a not-fun part of the body in which to sustain any kind of trauma).

[kalypso_v]

You sound even worse than me! I don't think I've had bleeding, it's just horribly painful, because my vaginal muscles clamp up the moment someone tries to push a speculum in. It's not about genitalia per se, because I've had them burn genital warts off the outer areas and been completely blase about it.

I hope the place where your cervix used to be is more comfortable soon.

[emmzzi]

A marvellous chair! Due reward for the difficult GP surgery, I think

[kalypso_v]

It's a bit higher than I'm used to, so feels rather strange at present - I think I'd prefer a saggier seat cushion - but Rosie seems to be able to climb up to it, so I'm sure it will all feel quite normal soon. It's very comfortable, and provides good support for my head.

[quarryquest]

Yup, agree with what has been said about nurses and female gynes - much prefer men, they seem to just be more gentle and respectful. As I had 'changes' in my cervix in the 90s I had stuff removed with an electric cheese wire (and watched that being done) in a hospital in Peterborough and then ten years of yearly checks, which were all clear. One chap was the consultant at St Mary's in Paddington who did stuff at the Sexual Health clinic in Kilburn and he said he could spot a healthy cervix just by looking at it so that was comforting. I always don't have a problem with smears - they just tickle and make me laugh terribly, it's just that the speculum can be rather chilly (and some doctors have very cold hands).

[kalypso_v]

As I said above, I can't remember a man doing it and don't think I'd like that - too many memories of large and clumsy thumbs. And all the women have been fine except one; the rest have been very reassuring about there being nothing unusual or shaming in my reaction, which specifically relates to penetration. I can handle many other kinds of treatment, eg mammograms and dental work, without flinching.

The electric cheese wire sounds alarming! I'm glad that it worked for you.

[trixieleitz]

All the women who've ever done my gyne exams have been skilful and kind.

[kalypso_v]

Yes, and what surprised me about the exception was the fact that she worked at a Well Woman Clinic, where you'd have thought she'd have had enough experience to know that Different Women are Different. But really, the problem has never been the people, it's my body.

Last week I did mention the doing-it-on-one's-side thing, which I think New Zealanders suggested last time, and she said oh yes, some people did, but she didn't seem interested in trying it. I suppose if she hasn't been trained to do it that way she wouldn't be very confident about attempting it.

[vjezkova]

Congratulations - these procedures are NOT pleasant and I do remember your problems well. Of course I hope the results will be alll right for you! ( I had it done in summer and I am all right).

About your armchair - this is wonderful! Elegant, comfortably and pleasingly curved and also I like the legs:-)

[kalypso_v]

Thank you - I expect everything will be fine, as the AP said the cervix looked healthy.

There is a new photo of the armchair in use in my next post!