Doctor Who Fic: The Price of Usage (3/7)

[kalinda_99]

Characters: Ten, 'Saxon', OCs
Pairings: Ten/'Saxon' implied, especially in this chapter. I blame David Tennant and John Simm >>;;
Spoilers: Series 3, mostly the last three episodes. Set a long time after Series 3's end.
Rating: PG-13 (usual stuff: violence, dark in places, swearing)
Summary: A certain Time Lord being ensnared by Colony 9's newly-

Comments

[jpgr]

Again, a wonderful piece. I think your dialogue was spot-on and I could hear their voices in my head. Guess it helps I watched the last 3 eps again last night.

Can't wait for te next part!

[eryaforsthye]

Excellent, as usual.

I actually laughed out-loud at the end.

Can't wait for more. :)

[kalinda_99]

Really?? O_O I'm not sure if I intended that to be funny or not.. since I don't consider myself very funny at all.. but that's cool! Thanks!

The Master and his voices.. I bet RTD had Simm's voice talents in mind when he wrote some of that ^^

[eve11]

I like where this story is going. Great plot and action; I really like the battle between the Doctor and the Master here. Also am intrigued by General Greer; I like that you made her female. Equal opportunity baddies, or at least gray area characters anyway ;) Reminds me of the starship captain from "Earthshock". :) :) :)

The only nitpicks I'd give are: part 3, paragraph 2 you have a typo: The lab the two Time Lords resided in a medium-sized room...

and also, the dialogue is really good, but it kind of threw me out of the story every time I saw the contractions "gonna" or "wanna". They talk fast (the Doctor especially), but I don't think these are contractions that the characters really use; I usually associate those contractions with more juvenile characters? Readers will read right through "going to" or "want to" in the right context without the need of putting in the slang.

[kalinda_99]

Thanks! =) It sort of occurred to me to make her female.. she's really just a supporting character anyhow... but I had to do it ^^

And thanks for pointing out my typo.... I knew some of them would get by me. *fixes it*

As for the contractions.. I've noticed both character using them, actually, even when they aren't talking fast. It seems to me that that stuff is part of writing them, just like I find it important to use lots of italics for the Doctor. Though, you make an interesting point because now I'm wondering if RTD actually uses contractions in his scripts or if DT and JS just spoke them when they said the lines.