Comments | kalichan: stuff 'n' things

kalichan

stuff 'n' things

Nov 30, 2009 14:56

*This Bristol conference is driving me maaaaaaad. I'm emailing with my advisor about it, and she's all, "why are you being so crazy about this?" and I have no response to that, except that I'm, well, nuts. Woe ( Read more... )

academia, work, whine & cheeze

Comments 32

rm November 30 2009, 20:46:54 UTC

I just flipped out on my LJ about it. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Even when I understand my shit I'm still baffled by it.

kalichan November 30 2009, 21:34:10 UTC

I KNOW. This constant approval seeking is so fucking exhausting. I am so over it. Except not.

rm November 30 2009, 21:34:50 UTC

My whole "ah, well, theater person, not well" thing is totally neither funny nor working anymore.

kalichan November 30 2009, 21:36:51 UTC

Oh god. Do we need new mantras now too?

THIS YEAR IS KILLING ME.

Thread 24

lefaym November 30 2009, 23:14:25 UTC

Bristol conference is also driving me mad! I've submitted my abstract, but I'm not happy with it, and aaarrrggghhh.

kalichan November 30 2009, 23:40:13 UTC

Me: I handed in this abstract and this conference is OMG, and I really want to go, and, and, and OMG OMG OMG wahhhhhh.
My advisor: What the hell is this conference, and why are you so worked up about it?
Me: Um. For a variety of psychological & uninteresting reasons, but mainly because it's so perfectly about all the things I always want to talk about, and I will feel like the community I want to be a part of has rejected my ideas if I don't get in.... and I will be terrible and sucky and never get a job or any success or anything and hate myself forever omg omg omg wahhhhhh
My advisor: ...
Me: I bet you didn't know you'd need to moonlight as a shrink when you signed on with me.
My advisor: *clearly realising that she is dealing with a lunatic* You are wonderful. Your abstract is wonderful. Everything will all be okay.
Me: But you have to think that, don't you? I mean, that's your job, isn't it?
My advisor: *backs away slowly*

lefaym December 1 2009, 00:00:53 UTC

One of the things that is causing me stress is that I haven't actually had my supervisor look at my abstract, because I don't want to admit to her that I'm doing something that's not directly related to finishing my thesis. And I know there is one huge flaw in my abstract that I simply couldn't think my way out of, and ... argh.

but mainly because it's so perfectly about all the things I always want to talk about, and I will feel like the community I want to be a part of has rejected my ideas if I don't get in.... and I will be terrible and sucky and never get a job or any success or anything and hate myself forever omg omg omg wahhhhhhAnd yeah, totally. Especially since Ika Willis is someone that I really like and admire academically -- if she rejects my paper, I'll be devestated, far more than if someone I'd never heard of rejected it. But at the same time, I wouldn't blame her for rejecting my abstract, because of the problems in it. Plus, my proposed paper is basically all about Harry Potter fic, and I'm sure that there are ( ... )

neifile7 December 1 2009, 04:21:14 UTC

I hope that all three of you will make the time, somehow, to write these papers even if the Bristol acceptances don't come through -- I'd like to see it happen somewhere, somehow (and I've seen far more "marginal" topics crop up at mainstream conferences; MLA, anyone?). I've been there, I get the stuff about outside validation, and why rejection is worse when your real passions are on the line, but that's even MORE reason to make it happen. Especially in the middle of thesis doldrums (Kali and Lefaym). There has to be something beyond that piece of professional capital to keep you going, give you a picture of how you'll be working on the other side. (And your advisors have been there too, bet you anything, even if they can't quite admit it!)

All three of you are brilliant, thoughtful women with terrific perspectives both fannish and fanthropological. I'm pulling for you all to make this conference -- you'd bring a lot to this context -- but hey, think about co-chairing a panel if it doesn't pan out.

Thread 5

(The comment has been removed)

kalichan December 1 2009, 02:38:26 UTC

Awww, thanks. *blush*

I've my fingers crossed.

re: The Slipper Room -- I have not, surprisingly. But I have heard good things.

bodlon December 1 2009, 00:04:32 UTC

No killing. Plz to accept this fistful of comfort and badassery instead?

kalichan December 1 2009, 02:39:07 UTC

You're right. This is a no death zone. I shall accept the comfort & badassery, however.