Comments | kali921: QUICK, QUICK, GET THE NAPALM

kali921

QUICK, QUICK, GET THE NAPALM

Apr 26, 2009 09:46

You know, it's a heavy burden, being a prophet of the apocalypse, but I warned you people. I warned you. I did.

Starting way back in the fall of 2007, I WARNED YOU OF WHAT WAS TO COME.

And I kept warning you.What did you all do? The more sensitive and perceptive amongst you had the sense to stop and contemplate the starkly dire possibilities I ( Read more... )

crabular overlords, no you cannot have my face, crustaceans of doom, crabs of terror, dead

Comments 37

shadowlongknife April 26 2009, 17:21:21 UTC

AAH CRABS AAAAAHH

I, for one, welcome our new crabular overlords. I have never eaten one of their kindred in my life, so that should build up some goodwill. Right? RIGHT?

Also, hi darling, and thank you for the v-gift. He's adorable, and so are you. :)

kali921 April 26 2009, 17:27:46 UTC

It doesn't matter, darling. They don't understand the concept of "goodwill." They will speak of it in silkily seductive tones, of course, and promise you safe passage and many boons, but in the end, we're ALL -- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US -- going to wake up on a giant steel tray and realize that our own eyeballs are looking at the rest of our bodies from across a vast distance. That's because our eyeballs will be hooked up to A MACHINE. You and I? We'll retreat to Mt. Everest and go down fighting to the bitter and inevitable end. I'll beg that our brains be allowed to go to Alpha Centauri together.

You're welcome, darling. In these final days, these days that presage the end of all ends, we should be sending each other as many virtual gifts as possible.

shadowlongknife April 26 2009, 17:31:20 UTC

THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE. I weild a mean chainsaw, you know.

Oh god. They have crab guns, I bet. Specially made for their pincers.

KALI. KALI. KALI. I may be getting a kitten. I am unreasonably excited about this.

kali921 April 26 2009, 17:36:54 UTC

I want to say "NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO GET A KITTEN," it being so close to the end, but no. You should get a kitten. Please, though, make it an inside kitty? Please? No going outside and getting run over?

Thread 6

(The comment has been removed)

Re: *Shudder* kali921 April 26 2009, 17:46:20 UTC

I fail to see how this will protect us?

(The comment has been removed)

Re: *Shudder* kali921 April 26 2009, 20:13:09 UTC

No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. And I'd totally forgotten that factoid about Shaolin Cowboy.

They've started... ztrooper April 26 2009, 17:44:55 UTC

( ... )

Re: They've started... kali921 April 26 2009, 17:47:01 UTC

That photographic evidence kept me up for three nights straight back in 2007. That guy is long dead. LOOOOONG dead.

Re: They've started... squeeful April 26 2009, 17:55:25 UTC

That man did the stupid thing of trying to take away the crab's shiny.

Re: They've started... kali921 April 26 2009, 18:03:26 UTC

No. That man did the stupid thing of simply existing.

(Or trying to take that crab's coconut.)

frankie23 April 26 2009, 18:47:25 UTC

Huh. Funny, I always thought Mi-go were bigger...

kali921 April 26 2009, 20:13:55 UTC

No, no, no. Earth crabs are just the foot soldiers, get it? The Mi-go come LATER.

frankie23 April 27 2009, 23:45:09 UTC

Oh, I seeeee.

Mmmm, fungi...

yarol_2075 April 26 2009, 19:23:26 UTC

Huh, I've always live in harmony with crabs. I don't step on them and make sure they have what they need. And they've kept the beachs clean.

Hmm, I need to rethink my strategy.

kali921 April 26 2009, 20:16:36 UTC

Rethink from a safe distance. Like, say, Tatooine.