my dirty little secret - part ten
Title: My Dirty Little Secret
Author: kalexico
Pairing, Character(s): Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4314
Summary: The Unholy Trinity Reunites
_______
part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight
part nine
"Do you not know the concept of 'a few days off'? It means leave me the fuck alone! I'm not fucking dealing with this, Bigfoot!"
I can hear Santana pacing around the living room. She is fuming, I can hear it in her voice.
"No! Ask William! Little fucker wants to prove himself, this is his shot at it. If he can't help you, find another way but I swear to God if you have the audacity to call me again until I arrive at work in a few days I will bring my very pregnant, very protective and very scary wife with me. May I remind you that in high school, we were the cheerleading bitches everyone was scared of. There's a fucking reason people trembled within our presence and we haven't lost our ways, so if you value those pathetic little marbles you call balls, you know what to do."
A heavy sigh - and I can almost see her pinch the bridge of her nose through the wall.
"Yeah, well, you should've thought better than to call me this early when I'm not at work and haven't even had my first coffee of the day yet." Pause. "Just ask William already, Bigfoot. And if he doesn't know, call Jonathan or Leslie." Pause. "Whatever."
Now I can see her rolling her eyes. She hangs up and comes back to the bedroom, obviously trying to muffle the sound of her footsteps.
"That is kind of futile considering you just yelled for half an hour," I remark lazily. She jumps up at the sound of my voice, but lies down anyway and crawls towards me. She gives me a lazy kiss.
"I'm sorry," she mutters against my lips. "I just don't get time off a lot and I really want these few days to be about us and also about Brittany. I don't want them bothering me with things other people know a solution to."
"You would've made Sue Sylvester proud out there," I remark. "We've had this conversation before. Why are you always so... rude? Why is it necessary?"
"He irritates the hell out of me, he's so incompetent that a fucking whale could do his job better and the only reason he hasn't been fired yet is the fact that his daddy has a fair amount of shares in the company. It pisses me off that his last name gets him so far without him ever having to prove anything. On top of that, he's after my job and I worked too hard for this, Q. I worked too hard to get where I am to just give up without a fight. He's looking for a weak spot and ready to use it against me, so I toughen it up."
"But they wouldn't give him your job when you're so good at it - so much better than he could ever be - would they?"
"I don't know, Quinn. It's still a man's world, despite what those trendy lifestyle magazines say. Being a woman - being a hispanic, lesbian woman - I have to work my ass off to get what boys like him get served on a plate. I don't want to talk about work, though. God, I can't believe Brittany is going to be here this afternoon! It's been so long!"
Her entire demeanour changes when she talks about Brittany and I can't ignore the pang of jealousy in my chest. After all, Brittany is her first love. Brittany is also a dancer with a killer body that doesn't look like she transformed into a whale.
Santana hasn't stopped talking about how excited she is about Brittany coming over for a few days, but suddenly she notices my silence. She takes me in, worry clear in her eyes. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as she asks: "What's wrong, Q?"
"Nothing." My thick voice betrays me. The tears silently welling up do so as well.
"Hey - easy now, what's up?" She softly wipes away the tears, but I can't stop them and they flow down my cheeks, wetting them.
"I... I just... what if you see Brittany and you want her? And she'll see you and see how hot you are and want you too. I mean, Brittany looks amazing and I'm fat and ugly and you hate me!" I feel the anger rising within me. "You fucking hate me, don't even try to deny it, Santana Lopez! You wish you could just have your way with Brittany, don't you? Do you want me to leave? I can book a hotel room if you want, put it on that fucking company of yours so you can fuck your precious Britt's brains out! Is that what you want? Huh? Admit it, just fucking admit it already!"
She looks honestly perplexed and it only fuels my rage. "Don't look like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
She places her hand on my arm, but I swat it away. "Where the hell is this coming from?" she asks.
"I'm not stupid, Santana. Well, I'm fucking sorry I don't have Brittany's abs or her ass or her boobs or whatever! I'm sorry I don't have her fucking body! I know I'm fat and despicable and you have needs but Jesus Christ, you could at least get yourself a vibrator instead of having people you haven't seen in years fly in so you can rub it in my face that I look horrible and you don't want me!"
"Calm down, Quinn!" Santana says, annoyed. "What the fuck is this? You look amazing. You're beautiful! You're carrying our babies, Quinn, of course I don't want Brittany. I'm over Brittany and I have been for a long time, so I don't know what just got into you but you have to know that I only want you. You look fucking perfect right now and I'm even going to miss your beautiful belly when the babies are born."
"So you won't want me after I've given birth?" I ask, the anger now having been replaced with worry and insecurity.
"Of course I'll want you, Quinn. I will always want you because you will always look amazing to me. And right now... you just... I can't even describe it. You glow, and you look so healthy and feminine and pretty and I just want to have you all the time. I want to have you now and I can't ever get enough of you."
"So you don't want to have sex with Brittany while she's here?"
Santana rolls her eyes and gives me a soft kiss. "Of course not, silly. Besides, even if I wanted to, she would never do that to you."
"So you do want to."
"NO! Quinn, what did I just say?"
"That even if you wanted sex with Brittany, she would never have sex with you because I'm pregnant."
"Exactly. If I wanted to, but I don't."
"I'm just scared, Tana. Brittany is so beautiful and her body is to die for and -"
I lose my ability to think when she latches onto my earlobe and sucks on it vigorously, her hand working its way to my enlarged breasts. Before I even realise what she's doing, my shirt is gone and her fingers are working my shorts, sliding them down my legs.
She looks at my naked body and breathes heavily. "You're so damn sexy, Q." Her lustful eyes and hoarse voice tell me that she isn't lying, that this isn't something she's putting herself through to put my mind at ease. That this is something that she really wants.
She kisses my lips again, hungrily. Her hand has found its way back to my breasts, the centre of the pad of her index finger barely touching the tip of my erect nipple, circling it slowly. She kisses my other breast, flicking her tongue over the nipple, swirling, sucking, all very carefully because she knows how sensitive they are.
She kisses her way over my stomach, making sure to carress it with her wonderful lips, trying to touch every patch of skin. Her hands trail over my sides, so slowly and reverently it makes me shudder. They settle on my hips as her lips arrive at my sex. She takes in the smell and sighs happily before trailing the outline of my lips with her tongue.
"T-Tana," I gasp as she kisses my inner thighs and sucks the skin until I'm sure it'll leave bruises. She pushes my legs open even more before running the very tip of her tongue through my folds, from bottom to top in one go.
She looks up at me and I'm momentarily thrown by the sincerity in her eyes. "I love you."
I want to answer her, but throw my head back when I feel her tongue plunging inside again, followed by her lips around my clit as she sucks on it, suckles, licks it. Her hands move from my hips to my ass and she lifts my lower body upwards. She doesn't need to - my body knows what it wants.
"Please," I groan. She bites my clit ever so softly before dragging her tongue to my entrance, licking around it. My hips disagree and buckle into her, catching her tongue. My breath becomes heavier as she pumps the muscle in and out, slowly increasing her pace, holding a steady rhythm. One hand has moved to my sex, her thumb circling my clit with just the right amount of pressure.
I feel myself getting closer and closer to an orgasm and when she repeatedly hits that one spot, I explode. My walls are tightening around her tongue and she uses more force, taking me even higher.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I let out as my body trashes violently. She keeps on circling my clit as I come down from my orgasm, drawing it out of me slowly. She removes her tongue slowly and I sigh when I feel it leave my body. She laps up the juices before she lets go and snuggles up to me, kissing me lazily. I taste myself on her lips.
"Wow," I finally manage to say. "And you haven't even had your morning coffee yet."
She treats me to that familiarly wicked Santana-grin. I can tell she's proud of herself - and so she should be. Ultimately, her grin softens to a genuine smile. "I love you," she says softly, looking into my eyes. "I love you and there's nobody else for me who looks sexier than you do. I'd be happy just lying here with you for the rest of my life."
"You're getting mushy again, Santana, and you don't have hormones to blame. Also, you have way too many clothes on. It's ridiculous."
I'm already impatiently tugging on her shirt when she grabs my hand. She shakes her head. "We're going to have breakfast first. I'll make you some bacon and eggs while you shower. Then I'll shower and I'll go do the groceries while you rest. When I get back, we'll have lunch and then we're going to leave to pick up Brittany at the airport."
"Okay. But I want to do the groceries with you."
"Why? I don't want you to exhaust yourself, honey."
"Oh come on, I'm not ill. I can do the groceries just fine. Also, I'm dying for some cotton candy."
Santana rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "I should've known." She gives me another sweet kiss before she says: "Alright, I'm off to cook breakfast now. Will you be alright."
"As I said, I'm pregnant, not ill."
She shrugs. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."
Santana is hopping from one foot to another, standing on the tip of her feet occasionally as she tries to get a better view.
"Will you calm down," I smile. "She'll be here soon."
"I still can't believe it though, Q. I'll only believe it when I actually see her."
"Suit yourself. Just stop the hopping-thing, it's getting on my nerves."
"Love you too." She takes my hand and laces our fingers together, winking at me. It's then that I see a familiar, tall blonde. Santana has seen her as well.
"Britt!" She jumps up and waves excitedly, then remembers that she's Santana Lopez and tries to look as if she never lost her cool in the first place. "Over here!"
Brittany, who looked up when she heard her name, smiles - no, beams when she sees us. She nearly runs and drops her bag on the floor as she takes Santana in her arms. I don't feel awkward watching them, after all it's not a sight I haven't seen before. In high school, we were all best friends, but somehow Santana was closer to me and closer to Brittany than Brittany and I ever were to each other. If Sue Sylvester hadn't chosen me as Captain, Santana would have been the spil in our friendship.
The hug is firm. Brittany looks up from Santana's shoulder and smiles at me. Her eyes are moist and she bites her lower lip. After what feels like an eternity, they let go and Brittany immediately wraps her arms around me, more carefully than she did with Santana.
"It's so good to see you," she says, her mouth near my ear. She hugs me longer than I'd expected her to. Tears are silently streaming down her face when she finally lets go.
"Congratulations again! I still can't believe you're actually having babies - especially you, San."
Santana shrugs, but can't hide her proud smile. "Ezra and Parker are going to be all kinds of awesome," she grins.
We walk to a coffee shop inside the airport and take a seat. "So, how is the pregnancy?" Brittany asks us.
"It's going great so far," Santana answers. "Although Q's hormones play up sometimes."
I blush, thinking about earlier today. "Nothing we can't fix, though," my favourite Latina winks at me. My blush grows even deeper.
We all place an order and soon are sipping a cup of coffee. We don't have any trouble finding topics for conversation. If you ignore the topics, you would swear we still see each other every day.
Santana drives us home, telling Brittany everything about her job and the moronic assholes she has to deal with so that she won't have to talk about it once we're inside the apartment.
As it turns out, Brittany isn't seeing anyone at the moment. She has been dating on and off with men, women and even a transsexual FTM. She tells us that as soon as she stumbled upon the definition of pansexual, she knew that was what she is. She owns her own dance studio in LA, together with a friend of hers who has a business degree. She also puts together choreographies and has even worked on some video clips with big names. Santana and I are both impressed.
I feel plain talking about my job as a lawyer after Brittany finishes her exciting story. She's still awed and confesses that those TV shows about law firms and advocates always confuse her because she can never figure out what you have to do to win. I settle for telling her it's complicated and it depends on the case, the judge, the jury if there is one, the attitudes of the parties, and so much more. She nods, but I know she still doesn't really get it.
Once we get home, Brittany gets settled in the guest room. After that, we all crash in the living room.
"So, you said you dated Mike, but isn't he back with Tina? I mean, it said so in Hummel's e-mail. It kind of implied it."
"They dated all throughout college, but then they broke up. They wouldn't tell me why. Anyway, after a few months, Mike and I started dating. I honestly just felt bad for him because he's a really nice guy and he was so hurt. He was the one who broke up with me, he said he wasn't over Tina yet and it wasn't fair to me. Another five months later, he got back together with Tina. Have you two been apart since high school?"
"No," I smile proudly. "We've been together throughout the years. It was long-distance in college, but we made it through."
"Do you want more babies? I'd love to have a bunch of them, they're just so cute! But I can't right now because I have so many opportunities with the dancing."
"I don't know," Santana says, looking at me questioningly. "We haven't really talked about how many kids we want. We both agreed the time was right for us to start trying when we did and we were obviously happy that we were having twins. I guess we'll see if we want more after we got things figured out with Ezra and Parker."
"So it's not like you really want to carry babies? I should've known," Brittany grins.
I know it before I see it, but when I look my suspicion is confirmed - the hurt on Santana's face is evident. She was smiling before, but now she's looking at her hands, absent-mindedly studying her thumb. I reach for her and stroke her back. She looks up at me, tries to smile, but fails.
She got over her infertility, but she still likes to avoid the topic. She doesn't like talking about it, or thinking about it.
"Did I say something wrong?" Brittany asks, undoubtedly sensing the tension in the room.
"I..." Santana's voice is hoarse. She coughs and tries again. "I can't... I'm not... I..." She looks at me pleadingly and I understand that she's trying to ask me to take over.
"Santana's infertile. She can't have babies," I say softly.
Brittany nods. "I'm so sorry for rubbing it in, I honestly didn't know. What happened?"
Santana looks at me again, so I tell her: "She's always been like this, but it's only when she got kicked in the stomach in college that the doctor noticed it. The kick didn't cause it, though."
"Who kicked you in the stomach?" Brittany asks incredulously, obviously either wondering why anyone would want to do that to Santana or how Santana had allowed things to escalate to the point where she was vulnerable enough to be kicked.
"Just some butthurt guy I rejected. He couldn't stomach my insults or the fact that pigs like him are the reason I'm gay. It's okay, Britt. Don't feel bad. I've dealt with it, I've moved on. At least I have my Q to carry our babies." Her smile is small, but it's genuine.
I then take the conversation to the upcoming Glee reunion.
We spend a lot of time recalling our adventures in high school, our shenanigans and the things we did for the Cheerios and Glee club. A lot of promises are made of keeping in touch and we exchange all contact information possible.
Santana and Brittany go to the park to feed ducks one afternoon and I know not to expect them back any time soon. I had expected them to want to be alone for a bit as well. One morning, I'm preparing lunch while Santana is having a shower. Brittany asks if she can help and I tell her what she can do.
"You guys really love each other, don't you?" she asks quietly.
I smile and don't miss a bit. "More than I ever thought one person could love another."
Somehow, she looks sad. "What's wrong?" I ask her, worriedly.
She shrugs and smiles. I can see the sadness in her eyes. "Nothing. It's just... please don't take this the wrong way, Quinn, but Santana... she was beautiful in high school, but now she's a woman and just... wow. Also, she's really making it and I'm so proud of her. She's leading the life she wanted - a family, someone who loves her despite her numerous flaws, someone who gets her. She's so happy and still so much herself and I fucking miss her. As a friend. But I can't deny that it makes me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't pushed her to come out. If we'd still be together, and what our life would be like."
I honestly don't know what to say to that. "Britt..." I trail off.
"Hey, I'm really happy for you, though. I swear. You two were my best friends. We grew up together. We became the people we are together and because of each other. I'm happy you both found love, you've both been through so much. I'm not going to lie to you, Quinn. It hurt me when Santana was willing to come out of the closet with you when she couldn't do that with me, it really hurt me. It's only later I saw that she just needed more time than I was willing to give to her and by the time she'd had enough time and was ready, too much had happened between her and I. I've often wondered if it was always you, if she loved you when she was with me, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to know. I want to believe she loved me, I really think she did. To think that I had that love, I had her, and I let her go makes me want to punch myself sometimes. But I'm happy for you. It's just... hard, seeing what could have been mine. I think it's not even so much this, seeing you together, as it is the feeling that I... I don't know, it makes me feel so... alone." She's crying softly.
"Britt..." I say again, now walking over to her to give her a hug. I surely don't remember her being this serious. She's shaking in my arms, clinging to me.
"I'm so sorry, Quinn." Her voice is muffled.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Brittany. For the record, she did really love you. You were her first love. Santana still loves you, just in another way. Don't tell her I told you, but she was super excited for you to come over. She misses you as well."
"Really? I mean, she has you and..."
"Really, Britt. You mean a lot to her. And to me."
I'm bawling like a baby myself. Neither of us hears Santana coming in, but we sure hear her voice.
"Hey, what is this cry fest about?"
"Nothing," Brittany and I say simultaneously.
"I wants in on the hug, though."
She wraps her arms around both of us and kisses our cheeks. "Whatever's got the both of you in this state, it'll be alright. We can even sing a song about it if you want. Didn't Mr Schue always say that?"
"I think we're crying too much to be able to sing a song," I smile.
Saying goodbye to Brittany is harder than I thought it would be. I feel a lump in my throat as we wave at her before she disappears. I look at Santana and hold her. She's trying so hard to keep the tears at bay.
"It's alright. Let it all out," I whisper in her ear. She starts crying and doesn't stop, sobbing heavily, gasping for breath. I stroke her back, shush her and cry myself.
That night, as we're lying in bed, she turns to me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. She likes doing that.
"Was it hard?" I ask her.
"Hm?"
"Seeing Brittany. Was it hard?"
"Yeah," she admits. Her voice is strained. "She was my first love, you know? I mean, I'm over her, but part of me... part of me is still that heartbroken teenager. They say your first love always has a place in your heart and I guess it's true. I'll always love you most, though, and differently. But seeing her... she's just... she grew into a beautiful woman, and she's still that same Brittany, only wiser and a bit more grown up, but still that same Brittany. And I miss her in my life. I wish she could stay here. She helped me through so much and she's just... she's still a part of me. She broke me, you helped rebuild me, but I love her regardless. Not that I want her back - I don't, I love you too much. But part of me wonders, what if, you know? I don't want it, I don't want my life to be a life without you in it, or without you having our babies. It's just... I can't explain it."
"It's okay," I whisper. I guess I'll never fully understand the feelings as Santana was my first true love. Santana is crying again and I hold her close. "It was hard for me, too. Knowing your history, I mean. I didn't feel threatened by her and I was happy to see her, but I always keep thinking that she hurt you."
"I hurt her too."
"I know, and I'm not judging. I just - I keep remembering she hurt you because she meant so much to you. And your connection is still so obvious and so deep. That'll never go away. But I know that what we have is strong shit as well. Anyway, we'll see her soon at the reunion. We'll also have her over for the baby shower and you heard what she said about those projects with dance theatre in New York. You won't have to miss her for this long again."
She looks at me, full of love. "You're amazing, Quinnie."
She hardly ever calls me that. It warms me up inside. "So are you, Tana."
Both exhausted from the raw emotions, we fall asleep in each other's arms as the tears on our cheeks are still drying.
>> next
Author: kalexico
Pairing, Character(s): Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez
Rating: NC 17
Word Count: 4314
Summary: The Unholy Trinity Reunites
_______
part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight
part nine
"Do you not know the concept of 'a few days off'? It means leave me the fuck alone! I'm not fucking dealing with this, Bigfoot!"
I can hear Santana pacing around the living room. She is fuming, I can hear it in her voice.
"No! Ask William! Little fucker wants to prove himself, this is his shot at it. If he can't help you, find another way but I swear to God if you have the audacity to call me again until I arrive at work in a few days I will bring my very pregnant, very protective and very scary wife with me. May I remind you that in high school, we were the cheerleading bitches everyone was scared of. There's a fucking reason people trembled within our presence and we haven't lost our ways, so if you value those pathetic little marbles you call balls, you know what to do."
A heavy sigh - and I can almost see her pinch the bridge of her nose through the wall.
"Yeah, well, you should've thought better than to call me this early when I'm not at work and haven't even had my first coffee of the day yet." Pause. "Just ask William already, Bigfoot. And if he doesn't know, call Jonathan or Leslie." Pause. "Whatever."
Now I can see her rolling her eyes. She hangs up and comes back to the bedroom, obviously trying to muffle the sound of her footsteps.
"That is kind of futile considering you just yelled for half an hour," I remark lazily. She jumps up at the sound of my voice, but lies down anyway and crawls towards me. She gives me a lazy kiss.
"I'm sorry," she mutters against my lips. "I just don't get time off a lot and I really want these few days to be about us and also about Brittany. I don't want them bothering me with things other people know a solution to."
"You would've made Sue Sylvester proud out there," I remark. "We've had this conversation before. Why are you always so... rude? Why is it necessary?"
"He irritates the hell out of me, he's so incompetent that a fucking whale could do his job better and the only reason he hasn't been fired yet is the fact that his daddy has a fair amount of shares in the company. It pisses me off that his last name gets him so far without him ever having to prove anything. On top of that, he's after my job and I worked too hard for this, Q. I worked too hard to get where I am to just give up without a fight. He's looking for a weak spot and ready to use it against me, so I toughen it up."
"But they wouldn't give him your job when you're so good at it - so much better than he could ever be - would they?"
"I don't know, Quinn. It's still a man's world, despite what those trendy lifestyle magazines say. Being a woman - being a hispanic, lesbian woman - I have to work my ass off to get what boys like him get served on a plate. I don't want to talk about work, though. God, I can't believe Brittany is going to be here this afternoon! It's been so long!"
Her entire demeanour changes when she talks about Brittany and I can't ignore the pang of jealousy in my chest. After all, Brittany is her first love. Brittany is also a dancer with a killer body that doesn't look like she transformed into a whale.
Santana hasn't stopped talking about how excited she is about Brittany coming over for a few days, but suddenly she notices my silence. She takes me in, worry clear in her eyes. She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as she asks: "What's wrong, Q?"
"Nothing." My thick voice betrays me. The tears silently welling up do so as well.
"Hey - easy now, what's up?" She softly wipes away the tears, but I can't stop them and they flow down my cheeks, wetting them.
"I... I just... what if you see Brittany and you want her? And she'll see you and see how hot you are and want you too. I mean, Brittany looks amazing and I'm fat and ugly and you hate me!" I feel the anger rising within me. "You fucking hate me, don't even try to deny it, Santana Lopez! You wish you could just have your way with Brittany, don't you? Do you want me to leave? I can book a hotel room if you want, put it on that fucking company of yours so you can fuck your precious Britt's brains out! Is that what you want? Huh? Admit it, just fucking admit it already!"
She looks honestly perplexed and it only fuels my rage. "Don't look like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
She places her hand on my arm, but I swat it away. "Where the hell is this coming from?" she asks.
"I'm not stupid, Santana. Well, I'm fucking sorry I don't have Brittany's abs or her ass or her boobs or whatever! I'm sorry I don't have her fucking body! I know I'm fat and despicable and you have needs but Jesus Christ, you could at least get yourself a vibrator instead of having people you haven't seen in years fly in so you can rub it in my face that I look horrible and you don't want me!"
"Calm down, Quinn!" Santana says, annoyed. "What the fuck is this? You look amazing. You're beautiful! You're carrying our babies, Quinn, of course I don't want Brittany. I'm over Brittany and I have been for a long time, so I don't know what just got into you but you have to know that I only want you. You look fucking perfect right now and I'm even going to miss your beautiful belly when the babies are born."
"So you won't want me after I've given birth?" I ask, the anger now having been replaced with worry and insecurity.
"Of course I'll want you, Quinn. I will always want you because you will always look amazing to me. And right now... you just... I can't even describe it. You glow, and you look so healthy and feminine and pretty and I just want to have you all the time. I want to have you now and I can't ever get enough of you."
"So you don't want to have sex with Brittany while she's here?"
Santana rolls her eyes and gives me a soft kiss. "Of course not, silly. Besides, even if I wanted to, she would never do that to you."
"So you do want to."
"NO! Quinn, what did I just say?"
"That even if you wanted sex with Brittany, she would never have sex with you because I'm pregnant."
"Exactly. If I wanted to, but I don't."
"I'm just scared, Tana. Brittany is so beautiful and her body is to die for and -"
I lose my ability to think when she latches onto my earlobe and sucks on it vigorously, her hand working its way to my enlarged breasts. Before I even realise what she's doing, my shirt is gone and her fingers are working my shorts, sliding them down my legs.
She looks at my naked body and breathes heavily. "You're so damn sexy, Q." Her lustful eyes and hoarse voice tell me that she isn't lying, that this isn't something she's putting herself through to put my mind at ease. That this is something that she really wants.
She kisses my lips again, hungrily. Her hand has found its way back to my breasts, the centre of the pad of her index finger barely touching the tip of my erect nipple, circling it slowly. She kisses my other breast, flicking her tongue over the nipple, swirling, sucking, all very carefully because she knows how sensitive they are.
She kisses her way over my stomach, making sure to carress it with her wonderful lips, trying to touch every patch of skin. Her hands trail over my sides, so slowly and reverently it makes me shudder. They settle on my hips as her lips arrive at my sex. She takes in the smell and sighs happily before trailing the outline of my lips with her tongue.
"T-Tana," I gasp as she kisses my inner thighs and sucks the skin until I'm sure it'll leave bruises. She pushes my legs open even more before running the very tip of her tongue through my folds, from bottom to top in one go.
She looks up at me and I'm momentarily thrown by the sincerity in her eyes. "I love you."
I want to answer her, but throw my head back when I feel her tongue plunging inside again, followed by her lips around my clit as she sucks on it, suckles, licks it. Her hands move from my hips to my ass and she lifts my lower body upwards. She doesn't need to - my body knows what it wants.
"Please," I groan. She bites my clit ever so softly before dragging her tongue to my entrance, licking around it. My hips disagree and buckle into her, catching her tongue. My breath becomes heavier as she pumps the muscle in and out, slowly increasing her pace, holding a steady rhythm. One hand has moved to my sex, her thumb circling my clit with just the right amount of pressure.
I feel myself getting closer and closer to an orgasm and when she repeatedly hits that one spot, I explode. My walls are tightening around her tongue and she uses more force, taking me even higher.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck," I let out as my body trashes violently. She keeps on circling my clit as I come down from my orgasm, drawing it out of me slowly. She removes her tongue slowly and I sigh when I feel it leave my body. She laps up the juices before she lets go and snuggles up to me, kissing me lazily. I taste myself on her lips.
"Wow," I finally manage to say. "And you haven't even had your morning coffee yet."
She treats me to that familiarly wicked Santana-grin. I can tell she's proud of herself - and so she should be. Ultimately, her grin softens to a genuine smile. "I love you," she says softly, looking into my eyes. "I love you and there's nobody else for me who looks sexier than you do. I'd be happy just lying here with you for the rest of my life."
"You're getting mushy again, Santana, and you don't have hormones to blame. Also, you have way too many clothes on. It's ridiculous."
I'm already impatiently tugging on her shirt when she grabs my hand. She shakes her head. "We're going to have breakfast first. I'll make you some bacon and eggs while you shower. Then I'll shower and I'll go do the groceries while you rest. When I get back, we'll have lunch and then we're going to leave to pick up Brittany at the airport."
"Okay. But I want to do the groceries with you."
"Why? I don't want you to exhaust yourself, honey."
"Oh come on, I'm not ill. I can do the groceries just fine. Also, I'm dying for some cotton candy."
Santana rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "I should've known." She gives me another sweet kiss before she says: "Alright, I'm off to cook breakfast now. Will you be alright."
"As I said, I'm pregnant, not ill."
She shrugs. "Okay. I'll see you in a bit."
Santana is hopping from one foot to another, standing on the tip of her feet occasionally as she tries to get a better view.
"Will you calm down," I smile. "She'll be here soon."
"I still can't believe it though, Q. I'll only believe it when I actually see her."
"Suit yourself. Just stop the hopping-thing, it's getting on my nerves."
"Love you too." She takes my hand and laces our fingers together, winking at me. It's then that I see a familiar, tall blonde. Santana has seen her as well.
"Britt!" She jumps up and waves excitedly, then remembers that she's Santana Lopez and tries to look as if she never lost her cool in the first place. "Over here!"
Brittany, who looked up when she heard her name, smiles - no, beams when she sees us. She nearly runs and drops her bag on the floor as she takes Santana in her arms. I don't feel awkward watching them, after all it's not a sight I haven't seen before. In high school, we were all best friends, but somehow Santana was closer to me and closer to Brittany than Brittany and I ever were to each other. If Sue Sylvester hadn't chosen me as Captain, Santana would have been the spil in our friendship.
The hug is firm. Brittany looks up from Santana's shoulder and smiles at me. Her eyes are moist and she bites her lower lip. After what feels like an eternity, they let go and Brittany immediately wraps her arms around me, more carefully than she did with Santana.
"It's so good to see you," she says, her mouth near my ear. She hugs me longer than I'd expected her to. Tears are silently streaming down her face when she finally lets go.
"Congratulations again! I still can't believe you're actually having babies - especially you, San."
Santana shrugs, but can't hide her proud smile. "Ezra and Parker are going to be all kinds of awesome," she grins.
We walk to a coffee shop inside the airport and take a seat. "So, how is the pregnancy?" Brittany asks us.
"It's going great so far," Santana answers. "Although Q's hormones play up sometimes."
I blush, thinking about earlier today. "Nothing we can't fix, though," my favourite Latina winks at me. My blush grows even deeper.
We all place an order and soon are sipping a cup of coffee. We don't have any trouble finding topics for conversation. If you ignore the topics, you would swear we still see each other every day.
Santana drives us home, telling Brittany everything about her job and the moronic assholes she has to deal with so that she won't have to talk about it once we're inside the apartment.
As it turns out, Brittany isn't seeing anyone at the moment. She has been dating on and off with men, women and even a transsexual FTM. She tells us that as soon as she stumbled upon the definition of pansexual, she knew that was what she is. She owns her own dance studio in LA, together with a friend of hers who has a business degree. She also puts together choreographies and has even worked on some video clips with big names. Santana and I are both impressed.
I feel plain talking about my job as a lawyer after Brittany finishes her exciting story. She's still awed and confesses that those TV shows about law firms and advocates always confuse her because she can never figure out what you have to do to win. I settle for telling her it's complicated and it depends on the case, the judge, the jury if there is one, the attitudes of the parties, and so much more. She nods, but I know she still doesn't really get it.
Once we get home, Brittany gets settled in the guest room. After that, we all crash in the living room.
"So, you said you dated Mike, but isn't he back with Tina? I mean, it said so in Hummel's e-mail. It kind of implied it."
"They dated all throughout college, but then they broke up. They wouldn't tell me why. Anyway, after a few months, Mike and I started dating. I honestly just felt bad for him because he's a really nice guy and he was so hurt. He was the one who broke up with me, he said he wasn't over Tina yet and it wasn't fair to me. Another five months later, he got back together with Tina. Have you two been apart since high school?"
"No," I smile proudly. "We've been together throughout the years. It was long-distance in college, but we made it through."
"Do you want more babies? I'd love to have a bunch of them, they're just so cute! But I can't right now because I have so many opportunities with the dancing."
"I don't know," Santana says, looking at me questioningly. "We haven't really talked about how many kids we want. We both agreed the time was right for us to start trying when we did and we were obviously happy that we were having twins. I guess we'll see if we want more after we got things figured out with Ezra and Parker."
"So it's not like you really want to carry babies? I should've known," Brittany grins.
I know it before I see it, but when I look my suspicion is confirmed - the hurt on Santana's face is evident. She was smiling before, but now she's looking at her hands, absent-mindedly studying her thumb. I reach for her and stroke her back. She looks up at me, tries to smile, but fails.
She got over her infertility, but she still likes to avoid the topic. She doesn't like talking about it, or thinking about it.
"Did I say something wrong?" Brittany asks, undoubtedly sensing the tension in the room.
"I..." Santana's voice is hoarse. She coughs and tries again. "I can't... I'm not... I..." She looks at me pleadingly and I understand that she's trying to ask me to take over.
"Santana's infertile. She can't have babies," I say softly.
Brittany nods. "I'm so sorry for rubbing it in, I honestly didn't know. What happened?"
Santana looks at me again, so I tell her: "She's always been like this, but it's only when she got kicked in the stomach in college that the doctor noticed it. The kick didn't cause it, though."
"Who kicked you in the stomach?" Brittany asks incredulously, obviously either wondering why anyone would want to do that to Santana or how Santana had allowed things to escalate to the point where she was vulnerable enough to be kicked.
"Just some butthurt guy I rejected. He couldn't stomach my insults or the fact that pigs like him are the reason I'm gay. It's okay, Britt. Don't feel bad. I've dealt with it, I've moved on. At least I have my Q to carry our babies." Her smile is small, but it's genuine.
I then take the conversation to the upcoming Glee reunion.
We spend a lot of time recalling our adventures in high school, our shenanigans and the things we did for the Cheerios and Glee club. A lot of promises are made of keeping in touch and we exchange all contact information possible.
Santana and Brittany go to the park to feed ducks one afternoon and I know not to expect them back any time soon. I had expected them to want to be alone for a bit as well. One morning, I'm preparing lunch while Santana is having a shower. Brittany asks if she can help and I tell her what she can do.
"You guys really love each other, don't you?" she asks quietly.
I smile and don't miss a bit. "More than I ever thought one person could love another."
Somehow, she looks sad. "What's wrong?" I ask her, worriedly.
She shrugs and smiles. I can see the sadness in her eyes. "Nothing. It's just... please don't take this the wrong way, Quinn, but Santana... she was beautiful in high school, but now she's a woman and just... wow. Also, she's really making it and I'm so proud of her. She's leading the life she wanted - a family, someone who loves her despite her numerous flaws, someone who gets her. She's so happy and still so much herself and I fucking miss her. As a friend. But I can't deny that it makes me wonder what would have happened if I hadn't pushed her to come out. If we'd still be together, and what our life would be like."
I honestly don't know what to say to that. "Britt..." I trail off.
"Hey, I'm really happy for you, though. I swear. You two were my best friends. We grew up together. We became the people we are together and because of each other. I'm happy you both found love, you've both been through so much. I'm not going to lie to you, Quinn. It hurt me when Santana was willing to come out of the closet with you when she couldn't do that with me, it really hurt me. It's only later I saw that she just needed more time than I was willing to give to her and by the time she'd had enough time and was ready, too much had happened between her and I. I've often wondered if it was always you, if she loved you when she was with me, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to know. I want to believe she loved me, I really think she did. To think that I had that love, I had her, and I let her go makes me want to punch myself sometimes. But I'm happy for you. It's just... hard, seeing what could have been mine. I think it's not even so much this, seeing you together, as it is the feeling that I... I don't know, it makes me feel so... alone." She's crying softly.
"Britt..." I say again, now walking over to her to give her a hug. I surely don't remember her being this serious. She's shaking in my arms, clinging to me.
"I'm so sorry, Quinn." Her voice is muffled.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Brittany. For the record, she did really love you. You were her first love. Santana still loves you, just in another way. Don't tell her I told you, but she was super excited for you to come over. She misses you as well."
"Really? I mean, she has you and..."
"Really, Britt. You mean a lot to her. And to me."
I'm bawling like a baby myself. Neither of us hears Santana coming in, but we sure hear her voice.
"Hey, what is this cry fest about?"
"Nothing," Brittany and I say simultaneously.
"I wants in on the hug, though."
She wraps her arms around both of us and kisses our cheeks. "Whatever's got the both of you in this state, it'll be alright. We can even sing a song about it if you want. Didn't Mr Schue always say that?"
"I think we're crying too much to be able to sing a song," I smile.
Saying goodbye to Brittany is harder than I thought it would be. I feel a lump in my throat as we wave at her before she disappears. I look at Santana and hold her. She's trying so hard to keep the tears at bay.
"It's alright. Let it all out," I whisper in her ear. She starts crying and doesn't stop, sobbing heavily, gasping for breath. I stroke her back, shush her and cry myself.
That night, as we're lying in bed, she turns to me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. She likes doing that.
"Was it hard?" I ask her.
"Hm?"
"Seeing Brittany. Was it hard?"
"Yeah," she admits. Her voice is strained. "She was my first love, you know? I mean, I'm over her, but part of me... part of me is still that heartbroken teenager. They say your first love always has a place in your heart and I guess it's true. I'll always love you most, though, and differently. But seeing her... she's just... she grew into a beautiful woman, and she's still that same Brittany, only wiser and a bit more grown up, but still that same Brittany. And I miss her in my life. I wish she could stay here. She helped me through so much and she's just... she's still a part of me. She broke me, you helped rebuild me, but I love her regardless. Not that I want her back - I don't, I love you too much. But part of me wonders, what if, you know? I don't want it, I don't want my life to be a life without you in it, or without you having our babies. It's just... I can't explain it."
"It's okay," I whisper. I guess I'll never fully understand the feelings as Santana was my first true love. Santana is crying again and I hold her close. "It was hard for me, too. Knowing your history, I mean. I didn't feel threatened by her and I was happy to see her, but I always keep thinking that she hurt you."
"I hurt her too."
"I know, and I'm not judging. I just - I keep remembering she hurt you because she meant so much to you. And your connection is still so obvious and so deep. That'll never go away. But I know that what we have is strong shit as well. Anyway, we'll see her soon at the reunion. We'll also have her over for the baby shower and you heard what she said about those projects with dance theatre in New York. You won't have to miss her for this long again."
She looks at me, full of love. "You're amazing, Quinnie."
She hardly ever calls me that. It warms me up inside. "So are you, Tana."
Both exhausted from the raw emotions, we fall asleep in each other's arms as the tears on our cheeks are still drying.
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