[Fic] Seeking Rin -- Chapter 09
Title: Seeking Rin
Chapter: 9 - Glissando
Author: Killaurey
Rating: T
Word Count: 4154
Summary: When Sakura, newly in a relationship with Kakashi, finds out about Rin, she makes a choice that's hard on them both. Even worse, there's a mysterious illness cropping up in Konoha that even Tsunade can't heal. And what does Ino have to do with it? Kakashi x Rin, KakaSaku.
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. It's Kishimoto's and I just play with it. Part 9 of ? Unbeta’d.
Also on my LJ and on FF.net
Kakashi stares at the spot where Rin had stood and breathes heavily. He doesn't know why he feels such an aching sense of loss. Rin left but she's left him before and he knows where to find her.
Why does her disappearance echo achingly through him this time? He considers his sheet-trapped knees and tries to remember what he's dreamed about in hopes that doing so might jog his memory.
Nothing occurs to him. There's a welter of fever blurred images, like he's been sick, and it's all impressions and pain. He thinks it must have been a nightmare.
That's nothing new.
He runs his hands through his tangled hair and decides that later he'll go to the stone again to find her. Kakashi knows he probably shouldn't.
(Hadn't Hokage-sama said to report anything strange to her?)
He also knows that he probably will go see Rin again. It's like an ache in his soul. So many years of all of them gone and now she's… not back but here. It's something precious. How can he give her up?
That's the problem, he knows. He can't. Not even if she's just a symptom brought on by the stress of every mad thing that's going on. He should stay away. Or report that he's seeing her.
But hadn't he told Minato-sensei and Obito not to worry about him, because Rin was looking after him?
How can he go back on that?
With a shake of his head, Kakashi untangles himself from his sheets. He picks clean clothing out and heads for the bathroom. He senses Naruto's chakra still in his apartment but if his former-student notices him, he has the grace not to say anything and Kakashi doesn't go down the hall far enough to see into the living room.
A shower, all hot water and steam and getting really clean for what feels like the first time in weeks helps to clear his mind though it doesn't help make sense of the scattershot images that drift in and out of his reach like dandelion fluff blown about on a breeze.
He tries to think past his return to Konoha and finds that he can't remember much. That's troubling. It has to be the exhaustion, he thinks, though he's rested now. Surely it will become clear once he's more awake.
That doesn't sound right, even in his head, as he's been in far worse missions and remembered far more.
(Since when has he had trouble remembering things?)
Kakashi shakes his head irritably. He's going to talk to a few of his friends today. Not only about Sakura, though that will be a topic, but because he's been away for a few weeks and he likes to keep up with them.
None of that feels very important though. There's an emptiness inside of him. A dull sheen of grey over his thoughts that he can't seem to think around. He wonders if it's from the mess of Sakura breaking up with him. Is that it or…
Or what? he asks himself mockingly, the shower's spray forcing his tense muscles to relax as he stands under it.
He doesn't have an answer to his question.
Kakashi relegates it to the back of his mind. There's more important things to figure out now. Like understanding what his friends had been thinking when they broke his confidence. His stomach twists. Like understanding what he'd been thinking when he'd said Rin's name in his sleep.
He supposes, on top of that, the fact that he's been seeing Rin everywhere the last few days should not be considered a point in favour of… of getting back with Sakura when she's broken up with him over Rin.
Finishing his shower, Kakashi dries off and gets dressed. His hair is still damp, because he can't be bothered drying it properly and he just settles his hitae-ate over his eye and leaves the bathroom, leaving the fan still running. His little apartment can't clear out all the steam fast enough to keep the walls from getting gross unless he leaves the fan on for a while longer. He's learnt from experience.
Naruto is up and moving about now and Kakashi heads back to his bedroom rather than go face him. It's not, he tells himself, that he's avoiding him. It's just that...
Kakashi leans in the doorway and studies his empty room. He notes that he'll have to vacuum and that he really should make his bed now or else it'll just be more of a pain later, as he wrestles with the ridiculous swell of disappointment in him. Rin's not in his room.
He'd hoped that she'd come back.
With a sigh, Kakashi enters the room, wrinkling his nose at the nightmare-heavy air. He opens the window, certain it had been open last night and not sure when it had been closed. Perhaps Naruto closed it, he thinks, and refuses to let himself be overly concerned about it. The fresh air is like a taunt against his skin. He drinks it in for a moment before turning to make his bed and then arm himself more thoroughly.
He doesn't know why he feels the need today to dress like he's going out in the field, but it's a soothing thing to do. It comforts him as he heads down the hallway towards the living room Kakashi mulls over what that says about him.
The couch is tidy and all the blankets and pillows that he'd pulled out to make a temporary bed have been folded and put away. Kakashi blinks. He's pretty sure that Naruto has dusted for him too. That touches him even while he's amused.
Kakashi wanders over to the kitchen and finds Naruto busily at work cooking up a storm. "I didn't know you could cook," Kakashi says, idly crossing his arms over his chest. "Wasn't your diet limited to ramen, milk, and cereal?"
"When I was twelve," Naruto says, a frown of concentration on his face as he flips an omelet. "I've learned better, Kakashi-sensei. What do you want for breakfast?"
Kakashi wants to tell Naruto off for cooking in his kitchen without permission. Not even Sakura has cooked breakfast for him--he prefers to cook breakfast.
This feels weird.
Kakashi tries to decide if anything has felt normal lately and when the answer is 'no' feels like complaining now would just make him feel even more uncomfortable.
"Where did you get the eggs?" Kakashi asks, taking a seat at his own table. He feels awkward though he doesn't let it show. Even hiding that much makes him feel like he's won a victory. There haven't been many of those in the last few days.
Naruto glances over his shoulder. "I went out and picked up a few things," he says. "The morning markets open at four, Kakashi-sensei. It's just past nine."
He nods slowly.
"Anyway," Naruto says, "I figured that cooking breakfast made the most sense. You've got a lot of things to cook for that. I didn't think you cooked, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Just breakfast," Kakashi says, not sure why he's admitting it. "I can cook breakfast."
He can cook the basics for other things, because a person shouldn't live on just what you can make for breakfast but it's the only meal that he's really put forth the effort to learn how to make things for.
"Oh?" Naruto's voice is curious but not demanding and it's tone that Kakashi isn't used to hearing from him.
Kakashi studies Naruto's back while reaching for a pear from the fruit basket in the center of the table. He turns the pear over in his hands and damns himself for a fool. "Rin always said," he says, "that breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He doesn't know why he tells Naruto that. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the pear and wonders when he's gotten so soft.
"Oh," Naruto says, his tone different. And then, "What do you want in your omelet?"
Kakashi tells him, surprised at the lack of questioning and yet... not wishing to ask about it and invite questioning. He doesn't want to talk about Rin, not really, not when her loss is aching like new again and he doesn't know why.
In short order, there's two plates heaped high with food and coffee and juice on the table for them to help themselves to and Kakashi is mildly surprised to find that not only does it all smell edible, it actually smells good.
"Don't think I'll do this for you all the time," Naruto says, sitting down with a thump. The sink behind him is already filled with dishes that are soaking. It's not quite as efficient as Kakashi's routine but it's… adequate. "This is just due to special circumstances."
"Ah," Kakashi says dryly. He considers how he's going to eat as Naruto digs in and when he's sure that Naruto isn't watching him, quickly eats some. "Then I won't hold my breath that it'll occur again."
Truth be told, he's not sure if he wants it to happen again. Even though the food is good.
The look in Naruto's eyes tells him that, somehow, Naruto has figured that out. They eat in silence. Kakashi eats whenever Naruto pays attention to something else (which, Kakashi notes, seems to happen fairly often--he wonders if this is another newly sensitive trait that Naruto has picked up) and in short order, the food is gone, including the pear that Kakashi had been toying with.
Naruto, without asking, takes the dishes over to the sink. "What are we doing today?"
Kakashi pauses. "We?"
"I promised Sakura-chan that I'd look after you," Naruto says innocently.
"No," Kakashi says, "I'm pretty sure that was just for last night. I heard that quite clearly."
"I don't remember that," Naruto says artlessly. "I seem to remember a different request."
Kakashi frowns as he gets up. "You're not following me around all day." The very idea makes him hideously uncomfortable. It's the last thing he wants to do, going around to his friends and seeing who would have talked to Sakura about Rin and why, with Naruto following him around like an ill-advised guard dog.
"Sakura-chan told me to look after you," Naruto says stubbornly, up to his elbows in soapy water.
For a moment, Kakashi is irritated at Sakura. It almost feels good, after being sad and angry and tired. There's a whisper under the irritation that points out that surely she wouldn't have set a guard on him if she didn't care. He curses himself for a fool when that thought occurs. He already knows she cares.
"I mean," Naruto says, continuing on like he hasn't noticed Kakashi's growing silence, "you could try to get away from me, but I'm pretty good at finding people myself."
Kakashi can't even argue that which is the irritating thing about it. Naruto doesn't have the Inuzuka nose, but he's got an ear for talk and the ability to flood the village with copies of himself. It's a less elegant way of finding someone, perhaps, but it works and Kakashi knows it and Naruto knows that he knows it.
Kakashi wonders who has been teaching Naruto. Along with the sensitivity this sort of not-quite-a-threat isn't Naruto's style. At least, it wasn't.
He's not sure what to make of the change.
"We're going to see Kurenai," he says, knowing that giving in is going to make Naruto think he can get away with this and yet keen to avoid having a million Narutos looking for him. Giving in, Kakashi thinks, is the lesser of two evils. "Unless she's not in the village?"
"She's in town," Naruto says, after a moment. Kakashi is a bit startled by the faint anxiety that crosses Naruto's face. "But why are we going to see her, Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi stares at Naruto and just shakes his head. "Figure it out."
With that, he leaves to go check his room again, sure that Naruto will finish with the dishes and, more than that, just wanting to get out of the same room as him for a few moments. As he leaves, he thinks he hears Naruto sigh and murmur something under his breath. There's a pause and then Naruto murmurs something else. Kakashi doesn't stay to hear what's being said.
His bedroom is a quiet, horrible place and the loudest thing in it is his own breathing. He leans against his door and wonders at everything. It's been a few long, awful days with missing time and rage and now... now he doesn't feel that.
The breakup niggles at him like a broken tooth but he's not enraged over it and that makes him wonder if he ever was. He wants to be able to explain things to Sakura, he does, he misses her like he'd miss an arm, but he's not furious.
It's a weird thing, he thinks, wondering what else is wrong with him. Why was he so angry? And where is Rin? He tells himself, again, that he's being ridiculous and Rin will show up but...
But he doesn't think that she will. He doesn't know why he feels that way with such certainty. Shifting from foot to foot, Kakashi startles at the knock to his door. "What?"
"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto says, "are we going?"
With a sigh, Kakashi turns and opens the door. Naruto is watching him with an unfamiliar speculative look in familiar eyes.
"We're going," Kakashi says, "are you ready?"
"Everything is cleaned up." Just like that, the unfamiliar look disappears. Naruto wrinkles his nose as Kakashi shuts the door to his bedroom and they both head down the hall. "Though your place could use a little mess."
"You would think so," Kakashi replies dryly as they step outside. He doesn't bother pointing out that Naruto is the one who has cleaned up most of the mess in his place. Kakashi takes the time to lock his apartment up securely with jutsu and finds the hum of them comforting under his hand. With reluctance he pulls away and turns to face Naruto, who is rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "I've seen your place, remember?"
Naruto laughs sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, one hand rubbing the back of his head. "You're just jealous," Naruto says, which Kakashi thinks makes no sense at all.
He doesn't bother asking Naruto to explain that. He's sure that whatever Naruto would tell him in lieu of an explanation would only give him a headache. Instead, he watches Naruto for a second and then flits off, over the roofways, smirking slightly at Naruto's cry of indignation.
Kakashi is unsurprised when Naruto catches up with him seconds later and even less surprised by the fact that Naruto is grinning. He would, Kakashi thinks, and finds himself amused by that. It's a strange thing, when he hasn't expected himself to feel anything like good humour today.
"Where are we going?" Naruto asks as they leap up over a tree's branches and land lightly on the other side, where the walkway continues.
"Kurenai's apartment," Kakashi says. "She doesn't have a team at the moment and if you're sure she's in the village--"
"I am."
"--then she'll either be there or out in the training areas at this time of day." He was fairly sure that she'd be at her place, though, because he's known Kurenai for years and she's never liked training in the mornings.
In short order, they land on the balcony of Kurenai's apartment. Kakashi has long thought that having a balcony is both a brilliant idea of hers and a dreadful security risk all in one. He's never certain which side he falls on more but right now he's glad for it. It means he doesn't have to suffer through an elevator (elevators are death traps waiting to happen) or attempt to find the stairs when he knows that the stairs are jutsu'd to appear only to those who live in the block.
He knocks on the glass.
Kurenai's face appears in the window a second later and she opens her door. "Kakashi," she says, her voice pleasant. "Hello." She raises one eyebrow slightly at the sight of Naruto. "Naruto-kun."
Naruto lets out a laugh and bubbles out a hello that makes Kakashi wish, again, that he hadn't brought Naruto along with him.
"Kurenai," Kakashi says, with a sharp glance at Naruto. "Do you have company?"
Her eyes look amused. "I do now," she says, and steps away from the glass door in open invitation.
"Thank you," Kakashi says. "Naruto, stay out here."
"Whaaat?" Naruto objects. "Kakashi-sensei!"
"I mean it," Kakashi says, glowering at his former student. "You can keep an eye on me from here."
Naruto grumbles and mutters and crosses his arms over his chest, but Kakashi is used to him and takes that as an affirmative. Kakashi steps into Kurenai's apartment, which has many plants (he has no idea where she finds the time to keep them alive) and furniture that is designed to be comfortable and soothing. It's a far cry from his apartment, that's for sure. This is a home. His is a place to stay, especially now that Sakura...
He shuts down that line of thought.
"Would you like tea?" Kurenai asks as she shuts the door and pulls the curtain back over it. "And why is Naruto-kun keeping an eye on you?"
Now that he's here, Kakashi feels a little awkward. He nods his assent to the first question and fumbles for a way to talk about the other. "Sakura asked him to," he says, "which is something when she's broken up with me."
He's sure, after all, that Kurenai has heard about it by now. Even if a kunoichi's specialty has nothing to do with gossip, it's easy as pie to keep up with it when every ninja in the village is a gossip at heart. That's the problem, Kakashi thinks, of training them all to want to know things. They don't know when to leave peoples' business well enough alone.
It's to Kurenai's credit, Kakashi thinks, that she doesn't bother to deny knowing. "And she's sent Naruto to look after you?" Kurenai murmurs, fussing over a teapot, the faintest touch of a line between her brows showing she's as confused over the nursemaid treatment as Kakashi is.
"Mmm," Kakashi replies, which is affirmative enough for both of them. "As you can see, he's taken to it with a will."
Kurenai laughs softly. "That's Naruto," she says, "he's never been able to do things halfway once he's decided that he wants to do them."
Kakashi settles himself on one of the couches. It's the one he normally sits on. A little harder than the rest, it gives the best view of the entire room, including both of the exits and a glimpse of the hallway that leads to the bathroom and Kurenai and her child's bedroom. He doesn't ask where the kid is--given the time, the kid is probably at the Academy and in class with all the other wannabe shinobi.
She sets tea down in front of him and he murmurs thanks as she takes her own seat, which deliberately puts her at a disadvantage and he marvels, again, that she does it so easily. If he sat there, he'd be as uneasy as a mouse being hunted by a cat and he knows it.
He sips at his tea. She does the same.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?" Kurenai asks, after they've spent a few moments in contemplative and companionable silence.
"Sakura mentioned," which is a poor way, he thinks, to describe what Sakura had done, "that Rin is the reason she broke up with me. The thing is, she shouldn't know about Rin."
Kurenai's eyes widen. Try though he might, he can't see anything dishonest in her gaze. Nor can he smell it. Her surprise is genuine. "Someone told her?"
Her surprise is real and it shouldn't be. Sakura named her and had been telling the truth. Now Kurenai is telling the truth about having not said anything.
What's going on? Who is telling the real truth?
"Yes," Kakashi says darkly, sipping his tea again and torn between being pleased that it hadn't been Kurenai and disgruntled that it hadn't been. "I was hoping you might have an idea who would tell her."
He deftly leaves off the fact that Sakura had said it was her. From the way her gaze fills with a touch of asperity, he knows that she's figured that out, but she lets it go. Her scent is still honest.
"I can't think of anyone," Kurenai says thoughtfully. "I know that Genma and Raidou came over all watchful on her-- she was alone at a bar and they thought she might be waiting for a guy, but it turned out that she was just waiting for Hinata-chan and Ino-chan. I don't know if they said anything to her though. They didn't mention it."
Kakashi stares blankly into his cup, trying not to break it, as the not-quite-familiar rage floods him at that name. He takes a breath and then another and struggles to get it under control. He can't just rage at this. He's got to be able to think.
"And that's it?" he says, when he can speak without raging.
Kurenai is giving him a considering, evaluating look and he wonders if she thinks he's just upset about the break up. Please, he thinks, let her think it's just that.
"That's it as far as I know," Kurenai says. Like any good ninja, she doesn't try to say that it is it for sure. There's too many ways for that to backfire on people. "Why?" she adds curiously. "Did Sakura-san tell you that one of your friends told her?"
He's about to say yes, then he pauses. Sakura had given him Kurenai's name and Genma and Raidou's names and Kakashi has the funny feeling that… that Sakura had been telling the truth.
And yet, so is Kurenai.
He thinks that Genma and Raidou would honestly deny saying anything too.
"Yes," he says, finally. "She told me to go ask my friends why they would do that. She says that they didn't do it to wound."
Kakashi's thoughts whirl as he tries to figure out how they're both telling the truth. Does this mean he should trust Gai as well? He thinks back to Gai and now realizes, as he'd forgotten, that Gai hadn't been quite himself.
But what does that mean?
"If your friends did so," Kurenai says, the 'if' making it clear that she's noticed his preoccupation though she can't know the reasons for it. "Then perhaps they thought it would be healthier for the relationship if everything was out in the open."
"We're shinobi," Kakashi says dryly. "Secrets are our trade."
Kurenai studies him. "I think that--"
A knock on the glass door startles the both of them. Kurenai sets her tea down and heads for the door. "Naruto," she says, once she's opened it. "Kakashi asked you to--"
"Sorry, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto interrupts, which pleases Kurenai not at all and has Kakashi raising his eyebrows as he sets down his tea. "But the old lady's sent Kakashi-sensei a summons." He holds up the little bird with a tiny scroll attached to it's leg so that Kakashi can see it.
"I see," Kurenai says, "then I'm sorry for snapping at you."
She's not really, Kakashi thinks, if only because Naruto interrupted her. On the other hand, neither of them can really blame him for doing so. No one in the village would just ignore a summons from their Hokage or ignore the order to pass it on immediately.
Kakashi reaches the door and Naruto hands over the bird and the scroll as quickly as possible, like they're going to burn him if he doesn't, and sticks his hands behind his back.
Kurenai lets out a soft sigh. "We'll finish our conversation later," she murmurs as she turns away from the door, heading back over to the couches. The clink of tea cups as she picks them up underscores the fact that this visit is over. "Whenever you're free."
He nods, already breaking open the seal. It's a simple set of orders to present himself to the Hokage at eleven--he glances at the clock, it's quarter to, just enough time to get there--with Naruto.
Funny, he thinks, but at least he doesn't have to go look for Naruto.
"It looks like we're going to have a job together," he tells Naruto. What else could the summons be for? "Come on, let's go see what Hokage-sama needs us to do."
(What had he been supposed to report to the Hokage again? He can't remember.)
Previous Chapter || Index || Next Chapter
Chapter: 9 - Glissando
Author: Killaurey
Rating: T
Word Count: 4154
Summary: When Sakura, newly in a relationship with Kakashi, finds out about Rin, she makes a choice that's hard on them both. Even worse, there's a mysterious illness cropping up in Konoha that even Tsunade can't heal. And what does Ino have to do with it? Kakashi x Rin, KakaSaku.
Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. It's Kishimoto's and I just play with it. Part 9 of ? Unbeta’d.
Also on my LJ and on FF.net
Kakashi stares at the spot where Rin had stood and breathes heavily. He doesn't know why he feels such an aching sense of loss. Rin left but she's left him before and he knows where to find her.
Why does her disappearance echo achingly through him this time? He considers his sheet-trapped knees and tries to remember what he's dreamed about in hopes that doing so might jog his memory.
Nothing occurs to him. There's a welter of fever blurred images, like he's been sick, and it's all impressions and pain. He thinks it must have been a nightmare.
That's nothing new.
He runs his hands through his tangled hair and decides that later he'll go to the stone again to find her. Kakashi knows he probably shouldn't.
(Hadn't Hokage-sama said to report anything strange to her?)
He also knows that he probably will go see Rin again. It's like an ache in his soul. So many years of all of them gone and now she's… not back but here. It's something precious. How can he give her up?
That's the problem, he knows. He can't. Not even if she's just a symptom brought on by the stress of every mad thing that's going on. He should stay away. Or report that he's seeing her.
But hadn't he told Minato-sensei and Obito not to worry about him, because Rin was looking after him?
How can he go back on that?
With a shake of his head, Kakashi untangles himself from his sheets. He picks clean clothing out and heads for the bathroom. He senses Naruto's chakra still in his apartment but if his former-student notices him, he has the grace not to say anything and Kakashi doesn't go down the hall far enough to see into the living room.
A shower, all hot water and steam and getting really clean for what feels like the first time in weeks helps to clear his mind though it doesn't help make sense of the scattershot images that drift in and out of his reach like dandelion fluff blown about on a breeze.
He tries to think past his return to Konoha and finds that he can't remember much. That's troubling. It has to be the exhaustion, he thinks, though he's rested now. Surely it will become clear once he's more awake.
That doesn't sound right, even in his head, as he's been in far worse missions and remembered far more.
(Since when has he had trouble remembering things?)
Kakashi shakes his head irritably. He's going to talk to a few of his friends today. Not only about Sakura, though that will be a topic, but because he's been away for a few weeks and he likes to keep up with them.
None of that feels very important though. There's an emptiness inside of him. A dull sheen of grey over his thoughts that he can't seem to think around. He wonders if it's from the mess of Sakura breaking up with him. Is that it or…
Or what? he asks himself mockingly, the shower's spray forcing his tense muscles to relax as he stands under it.
He doesn't have an answer to his question.
Kakashi relegates it to the back of his mind. There's more important things to figure out now. Like understanding what his friends had been thinking when they broke his confidence. His stomach twists. Like understanding what he'd been thinking when he'd said Rin's name in his sleep.
He supposes, on top of that, the fact that he's been seeing Rin everywhere the last few days should not be considered a point in favour of… of getting back with Sakura when she's broken up with him over Rin.
Finishing his shower, Kakashi dries off and gets dressed. His hair is still damp, because he can't be bothered drying it properly and he just settles his hitae-ate over his eye and leaves the bathroom, leaving the fan still running. His little apartment can't clear out all the steam fast enough to keep the walls from getting gross unless he leaves the fan on for a while longer. He's learnt from experience.
Naruto is up and moving about now and Kakashi heads back to his bedroom rather than go face him. It's not, he tells himself, that he's avoiding him. It's just that...
Kakashi leans in the doorway and studies his empty room. He notes that he'll have to vacuum and that he really should make his bed now or else it'll just be more of a pain later, as he wrestles with the ridiculous swell of disappointment in him. Rin's not in his room.
He'd hoped that she'd come back.
With a sigh, Kakashi enters the room, wrinkling his nose at the nightmare-heavy air. He opens the window, certain it had been open last night and not sure when it had been closed. Perhaps Naruto closed it, he thinks, and refuses to let himself be overly concerned about it. The fresh air is like a taunt against his skin. He drinks it in for a moment before turning to make his bed and then arm himself more thoroughly.
He doesn't know why he feels the need today to dress like he's going out in the field, but it's a soothing thing to do. It comforts him as he heads down the hallway towards the living room Kakashi mulls over what that says about him.
The couch is tidy and all the blankets and pillows that he'd pulled out to make a temporary bed have been folded and put away. Kakashi blinks. He's pretty sure that Naruto has dusted for him too. That touches him even while he's amused.
Kakashi wanders over to the kitchen and finds Naruto busily at work cooking up a storm. "I didn't know you could cook," Kakashi says, idly crossing his arms over his chest. "Wasn't your diet limited to ramen, milk, and cereal?"
"When I was twelve," Naruto says, a frown of concentration on his face as he flips an omelet. "I've learned better, Kakashi-sensei. What do you want for breakfast?"
Kakashi wants to tell Naruto off for cooking in his kitchen without permission. Not even Sakura has cooked breakfast for him--he prefers to cook breakfast.
This feels weird.
Kakashi tries to decide if anything has felt normal lately and when the answer is 'no' feels like complaining now would just make him feel even more uncomfortable.
"Where did you get the eggs?" Kakashi asks, taking a seat at his own table. He feels awkward though he doesn't let it show. Even hiding that much makes him feel like he's won a victory. There haven't been many of those in the last few days.
Naruto glances over his shoulder. "I went out and picked up a few things," he says. "The morning markets open at four, Kakashi-sensei. It's just past nine."
He nods slowly.
"Anyway," Naruto says, "I figured that cooking breakfast made the most sense. You've got a lot of things to cook for that. I didn't think you cooked, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Just breakfast," Kakashi says, not sure why he's admitting it. "I can cook breakfast."
He can cook the basics for other things, because a person shouldn't live on just what you can make for breakfast but it's the only meal that he's really put forth the effort to learn how to make things for.
"Oh?" Naruto's voice is curious but not demanding and it's tone that Kakashi isn't used to hearing from him.
Kakashi studies Naruto's back while reaching for a pear from the fruit basket in the center of the table. He turns the pear over in his hands and damns himself for a fool. "Rin always said," he says, "that breakfast is the most important meal of the day." He doesn't know why he tells Naruto that. Kakashi keeps his eyes on the pear and wonders when he's gotten so soft.
"Oh," Naruto says, his tone different. And then, "What do you want in your omelet?"
Kakashi tells him, surprised at the lack of questioning and yet... not wishing to ask about it and invite questioning. He doesn't want to talk about Rin, not really, not when her loss is aching like new again and he doesn't know why.
In short order, there's two plates heaped high with food and coffee and juice on the table for them to help themselves to and Kakashi is mildly surprised to find that not only does it all smell edible, it actually smells good.
"Don't think I'll do this for you all the time," Naruto says, sitting down with a thump. The sink behind him is already filled with dishes that are soaking. It's not quite as efficient as Kakashi's routine but it's… adequate. "This is just due to special circumstances."
"Ah," Kakashi says dryly. He considers how he's going to eat as Naruto digs in and when he's sure that Naruto isn't watching him, quickly eats some. "Then I won't hold my breath that it'll occur again."
Truth be told, he's not sure if he wants it to happen again. Even though the food is good.
The look in Naruto's eyes tells him that, somehow, Naruto has figured that out. They eat in silence. Kakashi eats whenever Naruto pays attention to something else (which, Kakashi notes, seems to happen fairly often--he wonders if this is another newly sensitive trait that Naruto has picked up) and in short order, the food is gone, including the pear that Kakashi had been toying with.
Naruto, without asking, takes the dishes over to the sink. "What are we doing today?"
Kakashi pauses. "We?"
"I promised Sakura-chan that I'd look after you," Naruto says innocently.
"No," Kakashi says, "I'm pretty sure that was just for last night. I heard that quite clearly."
"I don't remember that," Naruto says artlessly. "I seem to remember a different request."
Kakashi frowns as he gets up. "You're not following me around all day." The very idea makes him hideously uncomfortable. It's the last thing he wants to do, going around to his friends and seeing who would have talked to Sakura about Rin and why, with Naruto following him around like an ill-advised guard dog.
"Sakura-chan told me to look after you," Naruto says stubbornly, up to his elbows in soapy water.
For a moment, Kakashi is irritated at Sakura. It almost feels good, after being sad and angry and tired. There's a whisper under the irritation that points out that surely she wouldn't have set a guard on him if she didn't care. He curses himself for a fool when that thought occurs. He already knows she cares.
"I mean," Naruto says, continuing on like he hasn't noticed Kakashi's growing silence, "you could try to get away from me, but I'm pretty good at finding people myself."
Kakashi can't even argue that which is the irritating thing about it. Naruto doesn't have the Inuzuka nose, but he's got an ear for talk and the ability to flood the village with copies of himself. It's a less elegant way of finding someone, perhaps, but it works and Kakashi knows it and Naruto knows that he knows it.
Kakashi wonders who has been teaching Naruto. Along with the sensitivity this sort of not-quite-a-threat isn't Naruto's style. At least, it wasn't.
He's not sure what to make of the change.
"We're going to see Kurenai," he says, knowing that giving in is going to make Naruto think he can get away with this and yet keen to avoid having a million Narutos looking for him. Giving in, Kakashi thinks, is the lesser of two evils. "Unless she's not in the village?"
"She's in town," Naruto says, after a moment. Kakashi is a bit startled by the faint anxiety that crosses Naruto's face. "But why are we going to see her, Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi stares at Naruto and just shakes his head. "Figure it out."
With that, he leaves to go check his room again, sure that Naruto will finish with the dishes and, more than that, just wanting to get out of the same room as him for a few moments. As he leaves, he thinks he hears Naruto sigh and murmur something under his breath. There's a pause and then Naruto murmurs something else. Kakashi doesn't stay to hear what's being said.
His bedroom is a quiet, horrible place and the loudest thing in it is his own breathing. He leans against his door and wonders at everything. It's been a few long, awful days with missing time and rage and now... now he doesn't feel that.
The breakup niggles at him like a broken tooth but he's not enraged over it and that makes him wonder if he ever was. He wants to be able to explain things to Sakura, he does, he misses her like he'd miss an arm, but he's not furious.
It's a weird thing, he thinks, wondering what else is wrong with him. Why was he so angry? And where is Rin? He tells himself, again, that he's being ridiculous and Rin will show up but...
But he doesn't think that she will. He doesn't know why he feels that way with such certainty. Shifting from foot to foot, Kakashi startles at the knock to his door. "What?"
"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto says, "are we going?"
With a sigh, Kakashi turns and opens the door. Naruto is watching him with an unfamiliar speculative look in familiar eyes.
"We're going," Kakashi says, "are you ready?"
"Everything is cleaned up." Just like that, the unfamiliar look disappears. Naruto wrinkles his nose as Kakashi shuts the door to his bedroom and they both head down the hall. "Though your place could use a little mess."
"You would think so," Kakashi replies dryly as they step outside. He doesn't bother pointing out that Naruto is the one who has cleaned up most of the mess in his place. Kakashi takes the time to lock his apartment up securely with jutsu and finds the hum of them comforting under his hand. With reluctance he pulls away and turns to face Naruto, who is rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "I've seen your place, remember?"
Naruto laughs sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, one hand rubbing the back of his head. "You're just jealous," Naruto says, which Kakashi thinks makes no sense at all.
He doesn't bother asking Naruto to explain that. He's sure that whatever Naruto would tell him in lieu of an explanation would only give him a headache. Instead, he watches Naruto for a second and then flits off, over the roofways, smirking slightly at Naruto's cry of indignation.
Kakashi is unsurprised when Naruto catches up with him seconds later and even less surprised by the fact that Naruto is grinning. He would, Kakashi thinks, and finds himself amused by that. It's a strange thing, when he hasn't expected himself to feel anything like good humour today.
"Where are we going?" Naruto asks as they leap up over a tree's branches and land lightly on the other side, where the walkway continues.
"Kurenai's apartment," Kakashi says. "She doesn't have a team at the moment and if you're sure she's in the village--"
"I am."
"--then she'll either be there or out in the training areas at this time of day." He was fairly sure that she'd be at her place, though, because he's known Kurenai for years and she's never liked training in the mornings.
In short order, they land on the balcony of Kurenai's apartment. Kakashi has long thought that having a balcony is both a brilliant idea of hers and a dreadful security risk all in one. He's never certain which side he falls on more but right now he's glad for it. It means he doesn't have to suffer through an elevator (elevators are death traps waiting to happen) or attempt to find the stairs when he knows that the stairs are jutsu'd to appear only to those who live in the block.
He knocks on the glass.
Kurenai's face appears in the window a second later and she opens her door. "Kakashi," she says, her voice pleasant. "Hello." She raises one eyebrow slightly at the sight of Naruto. "Naruto-kun."
Naruto lets out a laugh and bubbles out a hello that makes Kakashi wish, again, that he hadn't brought Naruto along with him.
"Kurenai," Kakashi says, with a sharp glance at Naruto. "Do you have company?"
Her eyes look amused. "I do now," she says, and steps away from the glass door in open invitation.
"Thank you," Kakashi says. "Naruto, stay out here."
"Whaaat?" Naruto objects. "Kakashi-sensei!"
"I mean it," Kakashi says, glowering at his former student. "You can keep an eye on me from here."
Naruto grumbles and mutters and crosses his arms over his chest, but Kakashi is used to him and takes that as an affirmative. Kakashi steps into Kurenai's apartment, which has many plants (he has no idea where she finds the time to keep them alive) and furniture that is designed to be comfortable and soothing. It's a far cry from his apartment, that's for sure. This is a home. His is a place to stay, especially now that Sakura...
He shuts down that line of thought.
"Would you like tea?" Kurenai asks as she shuts the door and pulls the curtain back over it. "And why is Naruto-kun keeping an eye on you?"
Now that he's here, Kakashi feels a little awkward. He nods his assent to the first question and fumbles for a way to talk about the other. "Sakura asked him to," he says, "which is something when she's broken up with me."
He's sure, after all, that Kurenai has heard about it by now. Even if a kunoichi's specialty has nothing to do with gossip, it's easy as pie to keep up with it when every ninja in the village is a gossip at heart. That's the problem, Kakashi thinks, of training them all to want to know things. They don't know when to leave peoples' business well enough alone.
It's to Kurenai's credit, Kakashi thinks, that she doesn't bother to deny knowing. "And she's sent Naruto to look after you?" Kurenai murmurs, fussing over a teapot, the faintest touch of a line between her brows showing she's as confused over the nursemaid treatment as Kakashi is.
"Mmm," Kakashi replies, which is affirmative enough for both of them. "As you can see, he's taken to it with a will."
Kurenai laughs softly. "That's Naruto," she says, "he's never been able to do things halfway once he's decided that he wants to do them."
Kakashi settles himself on one of the couches. It's the one he normally sits on. A little harder than the rest, it gives the best view of the entire room, including both of the exits and a glimpse of the hallway that leads to the bathroom and Kurenai and her child's bedroom. He doesn't ask where the kid is--given the time, the kid is probably at the Academy and in class with all the other wannabe shinobi.
She sets tea down in front of him and he murmurs thanks as she takes her own seat, which deliberately puts her at a disadvantage and he marvels, again, that she does it so easily. If he sat there, he'd be as uneasy as a mouse being hunted by a cat and he knows it.
He sips at his tea. She does the same.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit to?" Kurenai asks, after they've spent a few moments in contemplative and companionable silence.
"Sakura mentioned," which is a poor way, he thinks, to describe what Sakura had done, "that Rin is the reason she broke up with me. The thing is, she shouldn't know about Rin."
Kurenai's eyes widen. Try though he might, he can't see anything dishonest in her gaze. Nor can he smell it. Her surprise is genuine. "Someone told her?"
Her surprise is real and it shouldn't be. Sakura named her and had been telling the truth. Now Kurenai is telling the truth about having not said anything.
What's going on? Who is telling the real truth?
"Yes," Kakashi says darkly, sipping his tea again and torn between being pleased that it hadn't been Kurenai and disgruntled that it hadn't been. "I was hoping you might have an idea who would tell her."
He deftly leaves off the fact that Sakura had said it was her. From the way her gaze fills with a touch of asperity, he knows that she's figured that out, but she lets it go. Her scent is still honest.
"I can't think of anyone," Kurenai says thoughtfully. "I know that Genma and Raidou came over all watchful on her-- she was alone at a bar and they thought she might be waiting for a guy, but it turned out that she was just waiting for Hinata-chan and Ino-chan. I don't know if they said anything to her though. They didn't mention it."
Kakashi stares blankly into his cup, trying not to break it, as the not-quite-familiar rage floods him at that name. He takes a breath and then another and struggles to get it under control. He can't just rage at this. He's got to be able to think.
"And that's it?" he says, when he can speak without raging.
Kurenai is giving him a considering, evaluating look and he wonders if she thinks he's just upset about the break up. Please, he thinks, let her think it's just that.
"That's it as far as I know," Kurenai says. Like any good ninja, she doesn't try to say that it is it for sure. There's too many ways for that to backfire on people. "Why?" she adds curiously. "Did Sakura-san tell you that one of your friends told her?"
He's about to say yes, then he pauses. Sakura had given him Kurenai's name and Genma and Raidou's names and Kakashi has the funny feeling that… that Sakura had been telling the truth.
And yet, so is Kurenai.
He thinks that Genma and Raidou would honestly deny saying anything too.
"Yes," he says, finally. "She told me to go ask my friends why they would do that. She says that they didn't do it to wound."
Kakashi's thoughts whirl as he tries to figure out how they're both telling the truth. Does this mean he should trust Gai as well? He thinks back to Gai and now realizes, as he'd forgotten, that Gai hadn't been quite himself.
But what does that mean?
"If your friends did so," Kurenai says, the 'if' making it clear that she's noticed his preoccupation though she can't know the reasons for it. "Then perhaps they thought it would be healthier for the relationship if everything was out in the open."
"We're shinobi," Kakashi says dryly. "Secrets are our trade."
Kurenai studies him. "I think that--"
A knock on the glass door startles the both of them. Kurenai sets her tea down and heads for the door. "Naruto," she says, once she's opened it. "Kakashi asked you to--"
"Sorry, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto interrupts, which pleases Kurenai not at all and has Kakashi raising his eyebrows as he sets down his tea. "But the old lady's sent Kakashi-sensei a summons." He holds up the little bird with a tiny scroll attached to it's leg so that Kakashi can see it.
"I see," Kurenai says, "then I'm sorry for snapping at you."
She's not really, Kakashi thinks, if only because Naruto interrupted her. On the other hand, neither of them can really blame him for doing so. No one in the village would just ignore a summons from their Hokage or ignore the order to pass it on immediately.
Kakashi reaches the door and Naruto hands over the bird and the scroll as quickly as possible, like they're going to burn him if he doesn't, and sticks his hands behind his back.
Kurenai lets out a soft sigh. "We'll finish our conversation later," she murmurs as she turns away from the door, heading back over to the couches. The clink of tea cups as she picks them up underscores the fact that this visit is over. "Whenever you're free."
He nods, already breaking open the seal. It's a simple set of orders to present himself to the Hokage at eleven--he glances at the clock, it's quarter to, just enough time to get there--with Naruto.
Funny, he thinks, but at least he doesn't have to go look for Naruto.
"It looks like we're going to have a job together," he tells Naruto. What else could the summons be for? "Come on, let's go see what Hokage-sama needs us to do."
(What had he been supposed to report to the Hokage again? He can't remember.)
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