greatest hits
title: cups of coffee
summary: various drabbles, sasusaku, kakasaku, other pairings
characters: kakashi, sakura, sasuke, naruto, etc. etc.
ratings: G - R
notes: this is what i do; i write about life. oh, and some of its crack
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
ps: tell me your fave? :3
Yahiko/Konan
69. A child’s truth.
For Mrs. Uchiha Itachi.
Prompt: Pein/Konan. Well, Pein is technically Yahiko, so there. Yahiko/Konan. IT’S REAL! :D
Rating: PG
The airport scene. He just had to do the airport thing, didn’t he? As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being born with blue hair and having one friend with red hair and another with yellow hair, effectively making them all three primary colors, thus being nicknamed name the ‘triple-rainbow-squad’; he just had to make all her life-scarring moments second-best to this.
There he was, out of breath (cliché), holding flowers (she was so going to punch him in the face for lack of originality) and probably preparing a ‘don’t go, you’re the peanut butter to my jelly’ speech as he was catching his breath. “Ko-” he wheezed, and Konan fought the urge to simultaneously roll her eyes and smack a hand to her forehead. Great, now more people were watching. He took another deep breath and tried again. “Ko-” he coughed and hunched over, putting a hand on his knee to steady himself. He stood up; putting on what Konan might call a manly face, and attempted to utter at least another syllable. But was he really going to overcome such a difficult feat? “Ko-” he took another deep breath and bent over again.
The people behind her, who were obviously waiting for something epic to happen, sighed in disappointment. And now they had a full-on audience.
“Yahiko.” She stated, annoyed, very annoyed.
“Man,” he huffed out, finally catching his breath. “Movies are so unrealistic when it comes to the whole running thing. Really. I’m pretty sure I just ran, like, twenty miles. Oh-” he took another deep breath, and people pinched their noses in agitation. They were obviously counting on something to happen, besides a common sense lesson. “-I am never doing that again.”
“Yes. Yes, I know. Yahiko-”
“Yeah?” he spoke, that hopeful tone in his voice. Like he was waiting for something.
“Yahiko - ohmygosh, what are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he gestured vaguely.
“Um, no?”
“I’m here to stop you from leaving me!” and then he grinned. Grinned. Grinned!
And somewhere in the background, someone cooed at them. As soon as she was done with him, she was so going after whoever did that. “Wha - what - what? Why? What?”
“Because,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, pretending that the planes were more interesting than they way her eyes sparkled. “I may or may not have intense feelings for you.”
And as much as she hated it, Konan knew that she couldn’t stop the smile creeping onto her lips. “Okay.”
For some reason, that answer didn’t sit well with him, and Konan knew it wouldn’t. That’s why she said it. Duh. “Okay? Okay? I didn’t run twenty miles to here you say ‘okay’, I want you to say that you - uh - that you have intense feelings for me, too.” He paused, gripping the flowers in his free hand tighter. “And then you’re supposed to want to stay and then we - um, well, only if you want to - we can - er - um - ah-” he stopped himself short when he suddenly realized that Konan was a lot closer than she was before. Yahiko blushed.
“Do some intense things?” Oh, now she was teasing him. “Like wha-”
“Oh, for the love of - this is the worse airport scene I’ve ever seen!”
Konan rolled her eyes before flinging her arms around his neck and watching his grin get bigger and smugger by the second. He was still holding back, for good reasons, too. Konan was scary when she wanted to be, and he definitely didn’t want to ruin his chances even further than he already had. “Go ahead,” she urged, “kiss-”
He didn’t even let her get another word in edgewise.
~*~
Itachi, Sakura, Shisui
207. Firestarter.
Rating: PG-13
When Itachi heard her say that it was “time”, he thought that she was talking about Oprah or that naval investigation show she likes to watch so much, not that it was time for the baby to be born. But he knew that Sakura couldn’t blame him because, as a notorious bachelor currently taking care of his brother’s wife, he really didn’t know any better. Thankfully, his sister-in-law was quite prepared.
Sakura then gave him a pointed look when he remained sitting on the couch. Not moving. At all. Did she have to hold up a sign saying “Hello! I’m about to give birth”? He twitched an eyebrow in her direction, which only proved to anger her more, and stared.
“Um, what?”
“Um, drive me to the hospital! Now!”
Right. Crap. What if she gives birth in his car? It happens on TV shows all the time. Wait, what if her birth juice ruin his car? No, he could not let that happen, especially when girls would ask why there’s a strain - no, just no. He better call Shisui. “I’ll call Shisui.”
&
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“Itachi, what if she ruins my car? It’ll hurt my chances with-”
This is when Sakura took the phone and shouted, “Just get here, you bastard or stains on the backseat will be the least of your problems!” Soon enough, they were all in Shisui’s really expensive car and on their way to the hospital.
&
“I still don’t see why my car had to be brought into this.”
“Otouto wanted you to help while he was gone.”
“Yeah, he wanted me to look after her, not drive her to the freaking hospital; that was supposed to be your job!”
Sakura clutched her stomach in pain. “Oh - drive faster or pull over because I’m pretty sure I’m about to give birth in a few minutes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure!”
“This is all your fault!” Shisui shouted, “You did this to me! If she ruins my car, I’ll never forgive you!”
“How is this my fault?”
“You made her wait! When someone is about to give birth, you shouldn’t make them wait! You just get them to the hospital without question!”
“If I have to give birth without medicine, you both are dead, you hear me? I want my husband! Why does he have to be on duty tonight? You stupid policemen and you’re stupid traditions! You two should have gone out there instead of my husband! Stupid, stupid police! Stupid policemen! Stupid! I’m giving birth, damnit! This is inhumane! This is torture! This is-”
“-Sparta, yeah, we get it, Sakura.”
~*~
Kakashi/Sakura, Sasuke/Naruto
211. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Rating: PG/PG-13
“… the hell?” was the only noise over the silent brain-fucking of all the shinobi from the five great nations. Right now, they were witnessing the arrival of all the previous Kages (excluding the Hokages, because the Third apparently knew that this was going to happen), containers, great shinobi and one hundred thousand naked Zetsus. And they were all zombies.
Naruto, who finally decided to show up, leaned forward, bracing his hand on his knees, and squinted toward the distance. “Is that… is that Dan?”
“And my father?” Neji suddenly spoke, causing everyone else to jump.
“And… Asuma?”
Sakura smacked a hand to her forehead. “Seriously?” she asked no one in particular, “Seriously. Seriously?” this time, she was asking the sky. “Everyone and their mother is out there, and no one even knows who the hell my parents are! Seriously?”
“You have parents?” Kakashi asked, slightly confused about the news. “I always thought you were an orphan.”
Oh, if looks could kill, “Yes. And they’re alive, thank you very much.”
“Don’t feel sad, Sakura-chan, it’s not like you aren’t important enough, it’s just that your parents are useless to Madara. Take it as a compliment! They’re not dead, right?”
“Wait… where’s the White Fang?”
Kakashi blanched. “Oh, so now I’m not important enough either?”
“It’s just freaking gay-love fest for Sasuke and Naruto, isn’t it? It’s all about Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!”
~*~
Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Itachi
235. And the edges blur.
Written for: Naruto’s birthday
Rating: PG-13
“Naruto!” Sakura called from the front door, “I got you a present which isn’t ramen!” she paused, hearing no shuffling and continued. “I think you’ll like it!” Nothing. “It’s my love confession for you on paper!”
“Really?!”
The pinkette snorted, “No.” the look of his forlorn disposition almost made Sakura feel guilty. “But I got you a present.” Then she whipped out a little book with big, bold letters saying his namesake.
“Cool!” he brightened, “You found a manga with my name!”
“Yup!” she beamed, dumping the entire series out of her bag and onto the table. “And here’s the rest of it.” In her right hand were about ten magazines of the same publisher and in her left hand was the first volume of the manga. “I thought we could read it together.”
The blonde rubbed the back of his head. “Okay, but it looks boring.”
- two minutes after reading chapter three -
“Not. Cool.”
Sakura held her sides as she rolled around on the floor laughing.
- about five hundred chapters later -
“What. The hell.” Naruto snapped.
Sakura tried not to twitch at the cartoonish picture of Jiraiya in a frog suit. “You know, I’m glad that Kishimoto is all the way on the other side of town because I might just kill him. And what’s with Genma-san and that stupid chopstick in his mouth? Really. And why can’t women do anything right in this manga? Like, seriously, why is Sasuke a nutcase? And ‘tachi would never do that!”
- Three hours later -
Sasuke and Itachi were met with the most ridiculous sight when they got home. Sakura and Naruto were asleep on the couch together, covered in little books with “Naruto!” embellished all over them. Itachi, being the detective that he is, decided to get to the bottom of the mess and shook Sakura awake. “Sakura-san. Sakura-san. Sakura-”
“Wha? What? I’m awake!”
“Sakura-san.”
Sakura blinked a few times before gasping and sitting up to fix herself. “Uchiha-san! What-”
“Why are you asleep on our couch with these things all around you?”
“Oh! That’s easy. We were reading them, and then we fell asleep. And the manga is actually very interesting because all the characters have our names, looks and they even-” she stopped herself short when she realized that he really did not care about her discovery. “Right.”
“Well, let’s get to bed; you look tired.” Before she could protest, Itachi scooped her up into his arms and led her into his room. “Do you need anything, Sakura?”
The sleepy girl smiled up at him and shook her head. The male smiled softly and kissed her on her forehead.
“Aniki.”
“Yes, otouto?”
“This book says you die.”
Itachi sat down beside his little brother. “I am not going away, Sasuke, I promise.”
“You also murder the clan - except me, because you love me - and then die by my hands so I can have power.”
The older Uchiha smiled down at his younger brother. “It is just a book, and it is most certainly not true.” He paused when he found that Sasuke was not convinced by his words. “But, even if all that were true, no matter what, I would still love you. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.” Because that’s what being a big brother is. “That is the difference between me and the fictional Itachi from your book.”
“Okay, aniki.”
Itachi smirked at his submission. “Now, go to bed, Sasuke.” And before he could protest, he tapped his forehead affectionately.
~*~
Shisui/Sakura, Itachi, Implied Ino-presence
268. Birthing black and white.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Sakura blinked and sighed at the officer’s expression. “Do you guys always have to look at me like that?”
Shisui sneered at the girl. “Just answer the question.”
The pinkette smiled at him coyly, “Oh, you’re feisty. And cute. Here I thought Ino got all the good ones.”
“Stop beating around the bush.” He drawled.
“Fine,” she pouted, “Come closer.” She purred, tugging at his tie once it was within her grasp. When he wouldn’t budge any further, she took his hand and traced patterns onto his palm. “Come on, what are you so worried about?”
Shisui’s eyes went toward his gun, taser and baton. “You.”
“Then give them to someone. That way, you’ll be safe and I can’t get to your weapons.” His mouth was still a firm line and his eyes remained stubborn. “I’m sure a strong man like you can handle me.”
Truthfully, he was curious about what he was going to tell her. Once he handed over all of his weapons to his partner, Shisui leaned over the table. “Tell me.”
“You’re gonna have to get closer, sweetheart.” He leaned down, “Closer.” She tugged on his tie. “Closer.” She whispered inches from his mouth. “You should wait for me.” Then she tugged on his shirt and slanted his mouth against hers. His dark eyes widened, and then closed when her hand trailed down his back. He surprised her by surrounding her with his muscular arms and licking her lower lip for entrance. They broke away for air for a few moments and dove back in when Sakura threw his tie across the room.
Suddenly, Itachi opened the door. They pulled away. “Her partner confessed with the agreement that she goes free.”
Sakura smirked. “Looks like we won’t have to wait.”
Shisui always gets the chicks.
~*~
Kushina, Naruto, Minato
289. Burning star.
Rating: G
“-fell in love quite suddenly-”
“No, no. It’s fell in love, in love with you suddenly!”
Naruto slapped his palm to his forehead. And here he thought that there was no one quite as obnoxious as him. He was wrong; the most obnoxious people on the planet were his parents. And they were so annoying! And he never got annoyed with anyone. He was Naruto for Pete’s sake! People only got annoyed with him, not the other way around.
“Come on, Naruto! Siiing with us.” His mother coaxed.
Still, even if they were the most embarrassing pair on the planet, they were still his.
“Minato - stop that!”
And he loved them.
“- here in your - ow, Kushina. Easy with the frying pan.”
For better -
“That’s the point!”
- or worse.
“-whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly!”
~*~
Sasuke/Sakura
302. Fallen Fae.
Prompt: hotel room for rawchelle.
Rating: PG-13
“-at the hotel, motel, holiday inn!”
Sasuke wiped his face with the palm of his hand and balefully noticed that even Naruto had betrayed him (et tu, brute?), and left him for the pretty, pale-eyed girl. But that wasn’t why he was exasperated, no; that’s not why. It was the fact that some girl (see: Sakura, BFF, future wifey, etc.) was singing badly to him.
“-if you meet me at the hotel room-”
He grunted to himself and silently cursed the day that Itachi became a vegetable and Sasuke got a broken arm instead. Yes, it was a heart breaking story which plunged him into the depths of depression for years, but now he could see why Itachi decided (yes, he had a choice to wake up, Sasuke knew it) to remain in a coma because his friends were crazy.
“Sakura.”
“-hotel!” it was getting worse and worse by every syllable, “motel - hey, Sasuke, whatcha doin’ here?”
The Uchiha sighed to himself. Sakura was as drunk as a skunk on the trunk of a skunk. He supposed that it was good news that she was at his house and not at some club with a sleaze. A sleazy sleaze that preyed on innocent Sakura (his future wifey) and showed no mercy when it came to drunken women.
Or worse, she could be with Kiba.
“This is my house Sakura.” He finally answered in monotone. The pink-haired woman stared at him. He sighed. “Come on.” While Sakura decided to lollygag in the hallway, Sasuke opted to keep her in his room to, uh, keep watch. Yeah. That.
“Sasuke! Sas - oh.” Her face then turned green before she abruptly ran into the bathroom and puked her guts out. “I wish - ugh - I wish your bathroom was in a hotel room because then I wouldn’t have to smell your stupid cologne.”
~*~
Fugaku, Minato, Sakura
331. I write sins, not tragedies.
Rating: PG
“So…” Minato began grinning at Fugaku. “Let’s play a game.” He suggested, that mischievous glint in his eye getting more and more sparkly as the seconds ticked on.
Fugaku observed the look at his ‘friend’ and glared. “No.”
“But I’m bored!” he whined.
And for a moment, Fugaku thought that he was looking at that Naruto boy; he was just waiting for the pink-haired girl to pop out of nowhere and yell at them. “Are you the Hokage or your son?” The Uchiha asked incredulously. The Yellow Flash looked at him pleadingly. Fugaku sighed. “Fine.”
“Great!” he beamed, blinding nearly everyone around him with the intensity of one thousand suns. “Would you rather do Ino-chan or Sakura-chan?”
Oh god. No. No. Now, Fugaku was a man of patience. He was a man of dignity, respect and virtue. Something that Minato had lost years ago. And sure, it would be rude not to answer the Hokage but oh god, no. Just no. “That’s disgraceful, immoral, repulsive and absurd. Besides, we have wives, we don’t need-”
Minato sighed and put his elbow on his knee while his chin rested in the palm of his hand. “It’s just a game, asshole.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, just answer, I already know-”
“Sakura-san.” Duh. Ino would chew his ear off if he forgot to switch the laundry.
A grin wider than Suna stretched across Minato’s face. “Really? You always struck me as the annoying type. I’m sure my dear student would love-”
“Don’t - don’t you dare or I’ll tell Kushina who you picked.”
Minato opened his mouth to protest but he shut it once he realized his answer. The fourth Hokage rubbed the back of his head and blushed. “Right.” Like father, like son.
“Oh, hey!” A very familiar and ironic voice greeted from behind them. Both men froze, exchanged glances and put fake smiles on their faces. “Uchiha-sama, I’m glad I found you. Your clan medics won’t give me clearance to look at Itachi’s eye and-”
“I’ll talk to them, Haruno-san.” Sakura blushed at his smirking face.
“Thank you. And, I apologize for not addressing you first, Hokage-sama-”
“Minato-san.” He corrected with a wink and wide grin.
“-Minato-san, but a ramen run does not necessarily constitute as an emergency.”
And Minato had the gall to look offended. “But ramen is delicious!”
Sakura laughed and shook her head. “Well, I must go heal eyes and feed the hungry. Good day, Minato-san, Uchiha-sama.”
“Bye, Sakura-chan!” he waved obnoxiously, and Sakura blushed because he was so hot. Ugh.
“You-” he sipped his tea, smirking behind his cup, “-are shameless.”
~*~
Kakashi, Sakura, an improbable amount of Uchihas
383. Warped.
Rating: PG/PG-13ish
Kakashi blinked at the amount of Uchiha in the room. Somehow, he thinks the phase “there can only be one” would not be appropriate in this situation. Instead, he decided to approach the situation the way he approached everything else. Aloof and completely unaware of how late he was.
“So… I become Hokage and suddenly, it’s okay to go back to the village that believes or wishes you dead.”
Shisui shifted in his eat while Itachi and Sasuke pretended that they were alive the whole time, “Um, I have a question.” The brothers snapped their heads toward their loud mouth cousin.
“Yes, Uchiha number four.”
“Well - wait, why am I number four?”
Kakashi waved over his assistant to soothe his headache. “Because Sasuke is number one, Itachi is number two, Madara is number three and you are number four. The reason why I number you is because there’s too many to keep track of! Can I just assume that you three are the only ones left?” Then he looked at Itachi, “Or do I have to organize a search party?”
“No. There should be none left.”
He eye-creased. “Good. Now, what was your question?”
He began to scratch his eye patch which made Sakura make a noise of protest; he regarded her casually by putting his hand back in his lap. “Only you and the elders know of this, correct?” Kakashi nodded, hat bobbing with him and all. “Then why is she here?”
Kakashi covered his mouth with his hand. Sasuke coughed to cover up a snort and Itachi attempted to hide his smirk. Sakura slammed her book on the desk and approached the man angrily. “I am your doctor, you pompous ass! And I happen to be the student of the fifth and sixth Hokage! So I assure you, I am more than qualified-”
But sadly, Shisui didn’t hear anything the frustrated woman was saying. He was too transfixed on how vibrant her eyes were and how pretty her hair looked in the sunlight. And all three males already knew what was going on. “-really. And another thing - are you even listening to me?”
He grinned at her. “Nope.”
Sakura blinked and squinted her eyes at him. “Are you sure he’s an Uchiha?”
The Hokage rubbed his chin. “You know, Sakura-chan, that’s a very good question. Can you schedule him for a psych evaluation, too?”
The pinkette rolled her eyes. “Sure.”
“So,” Shisui began, “I may consider staying if she sticks around.”
And all the men in the room considered it while Shisui was escorted to the hospital by two chuckling ANBUs. “Are you serious?”
“You may have to marry him, Sakura-chan.”
“What am I? Some Uchiha breeding machine?” Sasuke looked at her pointedly and smirked when she began to blush and fidget.
“Well, you have to marry one of them.”
“What?!”
Itachi smirked at Sakura. “I’m sure otouto would have no problem helping you.”
“What - you - I - we are not having this conversation!”
~*~
Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto. TeamSeven
146. Breathe, baby, breathe!
Rating: R
He didn’t mean to do it. Really. But he was in the heat of the moment and Sasuke was really asking for it while Sakura - oh, poor Sakura - got the short end of the stick. Anyways, while Sasuke was… being Sasuke, Naruto wasn’t exactly paying attention and he may have -
“-choked me with your dick!” Well said, Sakura, well said.
Naruto didn’t know if he should be proud or ashamed or a little bit of both. “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan, but Sasuke-”
“Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to tell me how he gives you butterflies and vice versa while I’m stuck here with an abused throat and all by my lonesome. Ugh. Go tell someone else about your bromance.” Then she flopped back down on her bed and pointedly ignored Naruto.
Naruto frowned at her unwillingness to accept his apology, “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. You know I love you.”
Sakura crossed her arms and looked at him through her lashes. “Really?” she pouted. “You do?”
He grinned down at her, “Yes, I do,” he kissed her forehead, “and the teme does, too, he just doesn’t like to show it.”
The pinkette grumbled out something that vaguely sounded like ‘yeah, right’ and began ignoring him again. As soon as Naruto left, Sasuke was abruptly shoved into her room as the door behind him was locked. Stupid jerk.
“Sakura.”
Sakura pretended to not be totally surprised that he acknowledged her presence and greeted him nonchalantly. “Oh hey, Sasuke.”
“How is your - uh - after we… you know…”
If it were anyone else, Sakura would have giggled at the awkwardness. But this was Sasuke and he was always serious, except when Naruto was involved and sometimes Sakura but that’s only because Naruto was there before her. “Its fine, thanks for asking.” she replied noncommittally, “So, what brings you-”
“I think it’s time we do… it… alone. Together.”
“Uh - what?”
“You and Naruto, um, do it alone.” Sasuke was now looking anywhere but her and Sakura was clearly enjoying it. “And Naruto and I do it, alone. So-”
“You figured we should have sex together?” she chuckled before adding, “Alone?”
“Uh - yes.” Sakura began laughing. And laughing and laughing and laughing. While Sakura was clearly amused, Sasuke was actually pretty hurt by her reaction. “If you didn’t want to do it, you could have told me so.” he grumbled miserably, which only caused Sakura to laugh even more.
“Wa - wait! Sasuke, hold on. It’s just - I didn’t think you liked me, let alone loved me.”
“Well, I do.” he snapped. “I also think we should…”
“…Do it?” she finished for him, grinning all the while. He sighed and turned around, ready to leave when Sakura reached for him. “Well, come here.” He perked up at that and almost lunged at her, but she beat him to the punch and tugged him down.
~*~
Kakashi/Sakura
153. Sweet nothings.
Rating: PG-13
A giggle escaped her mouth as her partner attempted to divest her person. He chuckled lowly as she attempted to mutter some excuse so she could go back to work. Another giggle left her mouth as her partner’s hot mouth pressed against her throat. “We can’t keep meeting like this.”
And without even looking up, he replied with the same answer he always did. “Why not?” He asked, playfully pulling at the lapels of her shirt and pressing her body against his.
“Because, we-”
“I know, but that shouldn’t matter to us. It didn’t matter to me, and I hope it doesn’t matter to you.”
She shook her head and wheedled her way out, like she always did, he mused to himself. And he watched her walk out of the alleyway, like he always did but there was something different about this time. There was something there.
“Sakura!” he shouted loud enough for the entire block to hear. She jumped and turned around, giving him a look, but nonetheless she stayed put and waited. And with his mask pooled around his neck, his headband thrown around somewhere back in the alley, he got down on his knees. “If you’re willing to accept me, then they should be able to accept us.”
The pinkette cautiously looked around to see if people were watching. She sighed to herself; people were watching. “Kakashi, I-”
“No. No. No, you are not going to get away with this one.” His hand reached up to grabbed hers, which was a feat in itself because she was crossing her arms, and he pulled her down to his level. “And I can’t let you get away.” he whispered.
If Sakura were to take a moment to take in her surroundings, she would have seen an encouraging crowd (some disgusted), urging her to say yes (some still disgusted) and her teammates turning blind eyes. Her lips strained to stay in a straight line. She bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling because she knew he was only doing this to make her believe something she didn’t want to believe.
“Sakura.” he was giving her that look and she knew it.
Without another word, Sakura stood up and pulled Kakashi to his feet. “You’re too tall.”
“You’re too short.”
“My hair’s pink.”
“My hair’s gray.”
“Actually,” she replied cheekily, “Its silver.”
“Oh?”
“And your eyes don’t match.”
“But they match your hair. And your eyes match mine quite nicely, and our children will be the perfect height.”
Sakura smiled, “Okay.”
He gave her an eye-crease and leaned down for a kiss.
notes: this is for the drabble 500 thing and shut up, I know. I know. I'm ridiculously fluffy today.
summary: various drabbles, sasusaku, kakasaku, other pairings
characters: kakashi, sakura, sasuke, naruto, etc. etc.
ratings: G - R
notes: this is what i do; i write about life. oh, and some of its crack
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
ps: tell me your fave? :3
Yahiko/Konan
69. A child’s truth.
For Mrs. Uchiha Itachi.
Prompt: Pein/Konan. Well, Pein is technically Yahiko, so there. Yahiko/Konan. IT’S REAL! :D
Rating: PG
The airport scene. He just had to do the airport thing, didn’t he? As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough being born with blue hair and having one friend with red hair and another with yellow hair, effectively making them all three primary colors, thus being nicknamed name the ‘triple-rainbow-squad’; he just had to make all her life-scarring moments second-best to this.
There he was, out of breath (cliché), holding flowers (she was so going to punch him in the face for lack of originality) and probably preparing a ‘don’t go, you’re the peanut butter to my jelly’ speech as he was catching his breath. “Ko-” he wheezed, and Konan fought the urge to simultaneously roll her eyes and smack a hand to her forehead. Great, now more people were watching. He took another deep breath and tried again. “Ko-” he coughed and hunched over, putting a hand on his knee to steady himself. He stood up; putting on what Konan might call a manly face, and attempted to utter at least another syllable. But was he really going to overcome such a difficult feat? “Ko-” he took another deep breath and bent over again.
The people behind her, who were obviously waiting for something epic to happen, sighed in disappointment. And now they had a full-on audience.
“Yahiko.” She stated, annoyed, very annoyed.
“Man,” he huffed out, finally catching his breath. “Movies are so unrealistic when it comes to the whole running thing. Really. I’m pretty sure I just ran, like, twenty miles. Oh-” he took another deep breath, and people pinched their noses in agitation. They were obviously counting on something to happen, besides a common sense lesson. “-I am never doing that again.”
“Yes. Yes, I know. Yahiko-”
“Yeah?” he spoke, that hopeful tone in his voice. Like he was waiting for something.
“Yahiko - ohmygosh, what are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he gestured vaguely.
“Um, no?”
“I’m here to stop you from leaving me!” and then he grinned. Grinned. Grinned!
And somewhere in the background, someone cooed at them. As soon as she was done with him, she was so going after whoever did that. “Wha - what - what? Why? What?”
“Because,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, pretending that the planes were more interesting than they way her eyes sparkled. “I may or may not have intense feelings for you.”
And as much as she hated it, Konan knew that she couldn’t stop the smile creeping onto her lips. “Okay.”
For some reason, that answer didn’t sit well with him, and Konan knew it wouldn’t. That’s why she said it. Duh. “Okay? Okay? I didn’t run twenty miles to here you say ‘okay’, I want you to say that you - uh - that you have intense feelings for me, too.” He paused, gripping the flowers in his free hand tighter. “And then you’re supposed to want to stay and then we - um, well, only if you want to - we can - er - um - ah-” he stopped himself short when he suddenly realized that Konan was a lot closer than she was before. Yahiko blushed.
“Do some intense things?” Oh, now she was teasing him. “Like wha-”
“Oh, for the love of - this is the worse airport scene I’ve ever seen!”
Konan rolled her eyes before flinging her arms around his neck and watching his grin get bigger and smugger by the second. He was still holding back, for good reasons, too. Konan was scary when she wanted to be, and he definitely didn’t want to ruin his chances even further than he already had. “Go ahead,” she urged, “kiss-”
He didn’t even let her get another word in edgewise.
~*~
Itachi, Sakura, Shisui
207. Firestarter.
Rating: PG-13
When Itachi heard her say that it was “time”, he thought that she was talking about Oprah or that naval investigation show she likes to watch so much, not that it was time for the baby to be born. But he knew that Sakura couldn’t blame him because, as a notorious bachelor currently taking care of his brother’s wife, he really didn’t know any better. Thankfully, his sister-in-law was quite prepared.
Sakura then gave him a pointed look when he remained sitting on the couch. Not moving. At all. Did she have to hold up a sign saying “Hello! I’m about to give birth”? He twitched an eyebrow in her direction, which only proved to anger her more, and stared.
“Um, what?”
“Um, drive me to the hospital! Now!”
Right. Crap. What if she gives birth in his car? It happens on TV shows all the time. Wait, what if her birth juice ruin his car? No, he could not let that happen, especially when girls would ask why there’s a strain - no, just no. He better call Shisui. “I’ll call Shisui.”
&
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“Itachi, what if she ruins my car? It’ll hurt my chances with-”
This is when Sakura took the phone and shouted, “Just get here, you bastard or stains on the backseat will be the least of your problems!” Soon enough, they were all in Shisui’s really expensive car and on their way to the hospital.
&
“I still don’t see why my car had to be brought into this.”
“Otouto wanted you to help while he was gone.”
“Yeah, he wanted me to look after her, not drive her to the freaking hospital; that was supposed to be your job!”
Sakura clutched her stomach in pain. “Oh - drive faster or pull over because I’m pretty sure I’m about to give birth in a few minutes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure!”
“This is all your fault!” Shisui shouted, “You did this to me! If she ruins my car, I’ll never forgive you!”
“How is this my fault?”
“You made her wait! When someone is about to give birth, you shouldn’t make them wait! You just get them to the hospital without question!”
“If I have to give birth without medicine, you both are dead, you hear me? I want my husband! Why does he have to be on duty tonight? You stupid policemen and you’re stupid traditions! You two should have gone out there instead of my husband! Stupid, stupid police! Stupid policemen! Stupid! I’m giving birth, damnit! This is inhumane! This is torture! This is-”
“-Sparta, yeah, we get it, Sakura.”
~*~
Kakashi/Sakura, Sasuke/Naruto
211. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Rating: PG/PG-13
“… the hell?” was the only noise over the silent brain-fucking of all the shinobi from the five great nations. Right now, they were witnessing the arrival of all the previous Kages (excluding the Hokages, because the Third apparently knew that this was going to happen), containers, great shinobi and one hundred thousand naked Zetsus. And they were all zombies.
Naruto, who finally decided to show up, leaned forward, bracing his hand on his knees, and squinted toward the distance. “Is that… is that Dan?”
“And my father?” Neji suddenly spoke, causing everyone else to jump.
“And… Asuma?”
Sakura smacked a hand to her forehead. “Seriously?” she asked no one in particular, “Seriously. Seriously?” this time, she was asking the sky. “Everyone and their mother is out there, and no one even knows who the hell my parents are! Seriously?”
“You have parents?” Kakashi asked, slightly confused about the news. “I always thought you were an orphan.”
Oh, if looks could kill, “Yes. And they’re alive, thank you very much.”
“Don’t feel sad, Sakura-chan, it’s not like you aren’t important enough, it’s just that your parents are useless to Madara. Take it as a compliment! They’re not dead, right?”
“Wait… where’s the White Fang?”
Kakashi blanched. “Oh, so now I’m not important enough either?”
“It’s just freaking gay-love fest for Sasuke and Naruto, isn’t it? It’s all about Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!”
~*~
Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Itachi
235. And the edges blur.
Written for: Naruto’s birthday
Rating: PG-13
“Naruto!” Sakura called from the front door, “I got you a present which isn’t ramen!” she paused, hearing no shuffling and continued. “I think you’ll like it!” Nothing. “It’s my love confession for you on paper!”
“Really?!”
The pinkette snorted, “No.” the look of his forlorn disposition almost made Sakura feel guilty. “But I got you a present.” Then she whipped out a little book with big, bold letters saying his namesake.
“Cool!” he brightened, “You found a manga with my name!”
“Yup!” she beamed, dumping the entire series out of her bag and onto the table. “And here’s the rest of it.” In her right hand were about ten magazines of the same publisher and in her left hand was the first volume of the manga. “I thought we could read it together.”
The blonde rubbed the back of his head. “Okay, but it looks boring.”
- two minutes after reading chapter three -
“Not. Cool.”
Sakura held her sides as she rolled around on the floor laughing.
- about five hundred chapters later -
“What. The hell.” Naruto snapped.
Sakura tried not to twitch at the cartoonish picture of Jiraiya in a frog suit. “You know, I’m glad that Kishimoto is all the way on the other side of town because I might just kill him. And what’s with Genma-san and that stupid chopstick in his mouth? Really. And why can’t women do anything right in this manga? Like, seriously, why is Sasuke a nutcase? And ‘tachi would never do that!”
- Three hours later -
Sasuke and Itachi were met with the most ridiculous sight when they got home. Sakura and Naruto were asleep on the couch together, covered in little books with “Naruto!” embellished all over them. Itachi, being the detective that he is, decided to get to the bottom of the mess and shook Sakura awake. “Sakura-san. Sakura-san. Sakura-”
“Wha? What? I’m awake!”
“Sakura-san.”
Sakura blinked a few times before gasping and sitting up to fix herself. “Uchiha-san! What-”
“Why are you asleep on our couch with these things all around you?”
“Oh! That’s easy. We were reading them, and then we fell asleep. And the manga is actually very interesting because all the characters have our names, looks and they even-” she stopped herself short when she realized that he really did not care about her discovery. “Right.”
“Well, let’s get to bed; you look tired.” Before she could protest, Itachi scooped her up into his arms and led her into his room. “Do you need anything, Sakura?”
The sleepy girl smiled up at him and shook her head. The male smiled softly and kissed her on her forehead.
“Aniki.”
“Yes, otouto?”
“This book says you die.”
Itachi sat down beside his little brother. “I am not going away, Sasuke, I promise.”
“You also murder the clan - except me, because you love me - and then die by my hands so I can have power.”
The older Uchiha smiled down at his younger brother. “It is just a book, and it is most certainly not true.” He paused when he found that Sasuke was not convinced by his words. “But, even if all that were true, no matter what, I would still love you. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.” Because that’s what being a big brother is. “That is the difference between me and the fictional Itachi from your book.”
“Okay, aniki.”
Itachi smirked at his submission. “Now, go to bed, Sasuke.” And before he could protest, he tapped his forehead affectionately.
~*~
Shisui/Sakura, Itachi, Implied Ino-presence
268. Birthing black and white.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Sakura blinked and sighed at the officer’s expression. “Do you guys always have to look at me like that?”
Shisui sneered at the girl. “Just answer the question.”
The pinkette smiled at him coyly, “Oh, you’re feisty. And cute. Here I thought Ino got all the good ones.”
“Stop beating around the bush.” He drawled.
“Fine,” she pouted, “Come closer.” She purred, tugging at his tie once it was within her grasp. When he wouldn’t budge any further, she took his hand and traced patterns onto his palm. “Come on, what are you so worried about?”
Shisui’s eyes went toward his gun, taser and baton. “You.”
“Then give them to someone. That way, you’ll be safe and I can’t get to your weapons.” His mouth was still a firm line and his eyes remained stubborn. “I’m sure a strong man like you can handle me.”
Truthfully, he was curious about what he was going to tell her. Once he handed over all of his weapons to his partner, Shisui leaned over the table. “Tell me.”
“You’re gonna have to get closer, sweetheart.” He leaned down, “Closer.” She tugged on his tie. “Closer.” She whispered inches from his mouth. “You should wait for me.” Then she tugged on his shirt and slanted his mouth against hers. His dark eyes widened, and then closed when her hand trailed down his back. He surprised her by surrounding her with his muscular arms and licking her lower lip for entrance. They broke away for air for a few moments and dove back in when Sakura threw his tie across the room.
Suddenly, Itachi opened the door. They pulled away. “Her partner confessed with the agreement that she goes free.”
Sakura smirked. “Looks like we won’t have to wait.”
Shisui always gets the chicks.
~*~
Kushina, Naruto, Minato
289. Burning star.
Rating: G
“-fell in love quite suddenly-”
“No, no. It’s fell in love, in love with you suddenly!”
Naruto slapped his palm to his forehead. And here he thought that there was no one quite as obnoxious as him. He was wrong; the most obnoxious people on the planet were his parents. And they were so annoying! And he never got annoyed with anyone. He was Naruto for Pete’s sake! People only got annoyed with him, not the other way around.
“Come on, Naruto! Siiing with us.” His mother coaxed.
Still, even if they were the most embarrassing pair on the planet, they were still his.
“Minato - stop that!”
And he loved them.
“- here in your - ow, Kushina. Easy with the frying pan.”
For better -
“That’s the point!”
- or worse.
“-whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly!”
~*~
Sasuke/Sakura
302. Fallen Fae.
Prompt: hotel room for rawchelle.
Rating: PG-13
“-at the hotel, motel, holiday inn!”
Sasuke wiped his face with the palm of his hand and balefully noticed that even Naruto had betrayed him (et tu, brute?), and left him for the pretty, pale-eyed girl. But that wasn’t why he was exasperated, no; that’s not why. It was the fact that some girl (see: Sakura, BFF, future wifey, etc.) was singing badly to him.
“-if you meet me at the hotel room-”
He grunted to himself and silently cursed the day that Itachi became a vegetable and Sasuke got a broken arm instead. Yes, it was a heart breaking story which plunged him into the depths of depression for years, but now he could see why Itachi decided (yes, he had a choice to wake up, Sasuke knew it) to remain in a coma because his friends were crazy.
“Sakura.”
“-hotel!” it was getting worse and worse by every syllable, “motel - hey, Sasuke, whatcha doin’ here?”
The Uchiha sighed to himself. Sakura was as drunk as a skunk on the trunk of a skunk. He supposed that it was good news that she was at his house and not at some club with a sleaze. A sleazy sleaze that preyed on innocent Sakura (his future wifey) and showed no mercy when it came to drunken women.
Or worse, she could be with Kiba.
“This is my house Sakura.” He finally answered in monotone. The pink-haired woman stared at him. He sighed. “Come on.” While Sakura decided to lollygag in the hallway, Sasuke opted to keep her in his room to, uh, keep watch. Yeah. That.
“Sasuke! Sas - oh.” Her face then turned green before she abruptly ran into the bathroom and puked her guts out. “I wish - ugh - I wish your bathroom was in a hotel room because then I wouldn’t have to smell your stupid cologne.”
~*~
Fugaku, Minato, Sakura
331. I write sins, not tragedies.
Rating: PG
“So…” Minato began grinning at Fugaku. “Let’s play a game.” He suggested, that mischievous glint in his eye getting more and more sparkly as the seconds ticked on.
Fugaku observed the look at his ‘friend’ and glared. “No.”
“But I’m bored!” he whined.
And for a moment, Fugaku thought that he was looking at that Naruto boy; he was just waiting for the pink-haired girl to pop out of nowhere and yell at them. “Are you the Hokage or your son?” The Uchiha asked incredulously. The Yellow Flash looked at him pleadingly. Fugaku sighed. “Fine.”
“Great!” he beamed, blinding nearly everyone around him with the intensity of one thousand suns. “Would you rather do Ino-chan or Sakura-chan?”
Oh god. No. No. Now, Fugaku was a man of patience. He was a man of dignity, respect and virtue. Something that Minato had lost years ago. And sure, it would be rude not to answer the Hokage but oh god, no. Just no. “That’s disgraceful, immoral, repulsive and absurd. Besides, we have wives, we don’t need-”
Minato sighed and put his elbow on his knee while his chin rested in the palm of his hand. “It’s just a game, asshole.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, just answer, I already know-”
“Sakura-san.” Duh. Ino would chew his ear off if he forgot to switch the laundry.
A grin wider than Suna stretched across Minato’s face. “Really? You always struck me as the annoying type. I’m sure my dear student would love-”
“Don’t - don’t you dare or I’ll tell Kushina who you picked.”
Minato opened his mouth to protest but he shut it once he realized his answer. The fourth Hokage rubbed the back of his head and blushed. “Right.” Like father, like son.
“Oh, hey!” A very familiar and ironic voice greeted from behind them. Both men froze, exchanged glances and put fake smiles on their faces. “Uchiha-sama, I’m glad I found you. Your clan medics won’t give me clearance to look at Itachi’s eye and-”
“I’ll talk to them, Haruno-san.” Sakura blushed at his smirking face.
“Thank you. And, I apologize for not addressing you first, Hokage-sama-”
“Minato-san.” He corrected with a wink and wide grin.
“-Minato-san, but a ramen run does not necessarily constitute as an emergency.”
And Minato had the gall to look offended. “But ramen is delicious!”
Sakura laughed and shook her head. “Well, I must go heal eyes and feed the hungry. Good day, Minato-san, Uchiha-sama.”
“Bye, Sakura-chan!” he waved obnoxiously, and Sakura blushed because he was so hot. Ugh.
“You-” he sipped his tea, smirking behind his cup, “-are shameless.”
~*~
Kakashi, Sakura, an improbable amount of Uchihas
383. Warped.
Rating: PG/PG-13ish
Kakashi blinked at the amount of Uchiha in the room. Somehow, he thinks the phase “there can only be one” would not be appropriate in this situation. Instead, he decided to approach the situation the way he approached everything else. Aloof and completely unaware of how late he was.
“So… I become Hokage and suddenly, it’s okay to go back to the village that believes or wishes you dead.”
Shisui shifted in his eat while Itachi and Sasuke pretended that they were alive the whole time, “Um, I have a question.” The brothers snapped their heads toward their loud mouth cousin.
“Yes, Uchiha number four.”
“Well - wait, why am I number four?”
Kakashi waved over his assistant to soothe his headache. “Because Sasuke is number one, Itachi is number two, Madara is number three and you are number four. The reason why I number you is because there’s too many to keep track of! Can I just assume that you three are the only ones left?” Then he looked at Itachi, “Or do I have to organize a search party?”
“No. There should be none left.”
He eye-creased. “Good. Now, what was your question?”
He began to scratch his eye patch which made Sakura make a noise of protest; he regarded her casually by putting his hand back in his lap. “Only you and the elders know of this, correct?” Kakashi nodded, hat bobbing with him and all. “Then why is she here?”
Kakashi covered his mouth with his hand. Sasuke coughed to cover up a snort and Itachi attempted to hide his smirk. Sakura slammed her book on the desk and approached the man angrily. “I am your doctor, you pompous ass! And I happen to be the student of the fifth and sixth Hokage! So I assure you, I am more than qualified-”
But sadly, Shisui didn’t hear anything the frustrated woman was saying. He was too transfixed on how vibrant her eyes were and how pretty her hair looked in the sunlight. And all three males already knew what was going on. “-really. And another thing - are you even listening to me?”
He grinned at her. “Nope.”
Sakura blinked and squinted her eyes at him. “Are you sure he’s an Uchiha?”
The Hokage rubbed his chin. “You know, Sakura-chan, that’s a very good question. Can you schedule him for a psych evaluation, too?”
The pinkette rolled her eyes. “Sure.”
“So,” Shisui began, “I may consider staying if she sticks around.”
And all the men in the room considered it while Shisui was escorted to the hospital by two chuckling ANBUs. “Are you serious?”
“You may have to marry him, Sakura-chan.”
“What am I? Some Uchiha breeding machine?” Sasuke looked at her pointedly and smirked when she began to blush and fidget.
“Well, you have to marry one of them.”
“What?!”
Itachi smirked at Sakura. “I’m sure otouto would have no problem helping you.”
“What - you - I - we are not having this conversation!”
~*~
Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto. TeamSeven
146. Breathe, baby, breathe!
Rating: R
He didn’t mean to do it. Really. But he was in the heat of the moment and Sasuke was really asking for it while Sakura - oh, poor Sakura - got the short end of the stick. Anyways, while Sasuke was… being Sasuke, Naruto wasn’t exactly paying attention and he may have -
“-choked me with your dick!” Well said, Sakura, well said.
Naruto didn’t know if he should be proud or ashamed or a little bit of both. “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan, but Sasuke-”
“Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to tell me how he gives you butterflies and vice versa while I’m stuck here with an abused throat and all by my lonesome. Ugh. Go tell someone else about your bromance.” Then she flopped back down on her bed and pointedly ignored Naruto.
Naruto frowned at her unwillingness to accept his apology, “I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. You know I love you.”
Sakura crossed her arms and looked at him through her lashes. “Really?” she pouted. “You do?”
He grinned down at her, “Yes, I do,” he kissed her forehead, “and the teme does, too, he just doesn’t like to show it.”
The pinkette grumbled out something that vaguely sounded like ‘yeah, right’ and began ignoring him again. As soon as Naruto left, Sasuke was abruptly shoved into her room as the door behind him was locked. Stupid jerk.
“Sakura.”
Sakura pretended to not be totally surprised that he acknowledged her presence and greeted him nonchalantly. “Oh hey, Sasuke.”
“How is your - uh - after we… you know…”
If it were anyone else, Sakura would have giggled at the awkwardness. But this was Sasuke and he was always serious, except when Naruto was involved and sometimes Sakura but that’s only because Naruto was there before her. “Its fine, thanks for asking.” she replied noncommittally, “So, what brings you-”
“I think it’s time we do… it… alone. Together.”
“Uh - what?”
“You and Naruto, um, do it alone.” Sasuke was now looking anywhere but her and Sakura was clearly enjoying it. “And Naruto and I do it, alone. So-”
“You figured we should have sex together?” she chuckled before adding, “Alone?”
“Uh - yes.” Sakura began laughing. And laughing and laughing and laughing. While Sakura was clearly amused, Sasuke was actually pretty hurt by her reaction. “If you didn’t want to do it, you could have told me so.” he grumbled miserably, which only caused Sakura to laugh even more.
“Wa - wait! Sasuke, hold on. It’s just - I didn’t think you liked me, let alone loved me.”
“Well, I do.” he snapped. “I also think we should…”
“…Do it?” she finished for him, grinning all the while. He sighed and turned around, ready to leave when Sakura reached for him. “Well, come here.” He perked up at that and almost lunged at her, but she beat him to the punch and tugged him down.
~*~
Kakashi/Sakura
153. Sweet nothings.
Rating: PG-13
A giggle escaped her mouth as her partner attempted to divest her person. He chuckled lowly as she attempted to mutter some excuse so she could go back to work. Another giggle left her mouth as her partner’s hot mouth pressed against her throat. “We can’t keep meeting like this.”
And without even looking up, he replied with the same answer he always did. “Why not?” He asked, playfully pulling at the lapels of her shirt and pressing her body against his.
“Because, we-”
“I know, but that shouldn’t matter to us. It didn’t matter to me, and I hope it doesn’t matter to you.”
She shook her head and wheedled her way out, like she always did, he mused to himself. And he watched her walk out of the alleyway, like he always did but there was something different about this time. There was something there.
“Sakura!” he shouted loud enough for the entire block to hear. She jumped and turned around, giving him a look, but nonetheless she stayed put and waited. And with his mask pooled around his neck, his headband thrown around somewhere back in the alley, he got down on his knees. “If you’re willing to accept me, then they should be able to accept us.”
The pinkette cautiously looked around to see if people were watching. She sighed to herself; people were watching. “Kakashi, I-”
“No. No. No, you are not going to get away with this one.” His hand reached up to grabbed hers, which was a feat in itself because she was crossing her arms, and he pulled her down to his level. “And I can’t let you get away.” he whispered.
If Sakura were to take a moment to take in her surroundings, she would have seen an encouraging crowd (some disgusted), urging her to say yes (some still disgusted) and her teammates turning blind eyes. Her lips strained to stay in a straight line. She bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling because she knew he was only doing this to make her believe something she didn’t want to believe.
“Sakura.” he was giving her that look and she knew it.
Without another word, Sakura stood up and pulled Kakashi to his feet. “You’re too tall.”
“You’re too short.”
“My hair’s pink.”
“My hair’s gray.”
“Actually,” she replied cheekily, “Its silver.”
“Oh?”
“And your eyes don’t match.”
“But they match your hair. And your eyes match mine quite nicely, and our children will be the perfect height.”
Sakura smiled, “Okay.”
He gave her an eye-crease and leaned down for a kiss.
notes: this is for the drabble 500 thing and shut up, I know. I know. I'm ridiculously fluffy today.