Comments | kajones_writing: The World Walkers: The Case of the Counterfeit Enchantments (part 9, 70th continuation)

kajones_writing

The World Walkers: The Case of the Counterfeit Enchantments (part 9, 70th continuation)

Feb 17, 2014 19:24

Part 1

Part 9, 69th continuation

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world: quiar, character: lucille, character: quiar, character: bertram, the world walkers, free fiction, fiction, collection

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Feedback ysabetwordsmith February 18 2014, 05:32:07 UTC

>> but did she have the skill to defeat two assassins, even with what limited help Bertram could be. <<

That needs a question mark at the end.

>> The female platypi created an illusion <<

That should say "platypus" above.

>> from the male platypi somehow <<

That should say "platypus" again.

>> looking as though he was blinking away unwanted tears, but I have a feeling <<

That needs a quote mark in front of "but" above.

>> “No, it wasn’t lucky, it was planning, Bertram, the same way making you carry charms that you could use was planning.” <<

AWESOME! Now that is how to write a strong female character. Plan ahead.