Afterlife: Nathan: Letting Go (part 2)
This entry is part 12 of 26 in the Afterlife collection
Part 1
This entry is part 12 of 26 in the Afterlife collection
“They’ll join me when their lives are over,” Nathan replied, looking at Aras.
“How do you think they’d feel if they knew that you’d spent all your time watching them?”
Nathan glanced at the mirror, seeing his own reflection instead of his family, and sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Think about it.”
“Do I have to?”
“Nathan, if you want to get anything from your time here then you need to put the effort in. Being in the afterlife doesn’t mean that you should stagnate. Watching your family continuously will waste time that you could be using for other things.”
“I don’t want to be here without them.” Tears welled up in Nathan’s eyes. “This was never a part of the plan.”
Aras shook his head. “It was always part of your life plan, but not the plan you made while you were alive. The decision was made by you and your wife before you incarnated.”
“Why would we have made that decision?”
“That is something you need to remember for yourself.”
“Please, Aras, explain why.”
“I can’t. Being your spirit guide, especially now, means that I have a duty to help you in the way that you need to be helped rather than the way you want to be helped.”
Nathan felt a tear trickle down his cheek. “I miss her.”
“Of course you miss her, Nathan. She was your partner in life for a long time and if you didn’t miss her I’d be very worried about you. That doesn’t mean you should spend the time until she joins you watching her.”
“When I’m watching her I feel like I’m still there with her. It’s… reassuring.”
“I promise you she won’t just disappear.” Aras smiled gently at him. “You’re her greeter, so you’ll be told when she’s going to arrive closer to the time.”
“Will it be a long time?”
“That really depends on you. If you spend the time watching then it will, but if you do something with your afterlife then it won’t seem as long.”
“I don’t know.”
“Nathan, I’ve been where you are. I died long before my life partner in one incarnation and for a long time I couldn’t do anything. It was as though I’d lost half of myself, so I spent the time staring into my mirror in the same way that you have. My spirit guide didn’t want to cut my time down, even though he should have done, and I ended up wasting a lot of the time I had here just staring at her, wishing I was still alive. I couldn’t see the beauty of what was around me or the lessons I was meant to be learning during that period in the afterlife. When I finally worked out that I was being an idiot I felt as though my spirit guide had let me down.” Aras sighed. “The council thought the same thing, so my guide had to start his training again. I learnt a big lesson from that and the last thing I want to do is let you down by allowing you to make the same mistakes that I did.”
Nathan looked at Aras and found himself understanding what his spirit guide was trying to do. “I wish I could just let go but it’s hard. When I first met her I knew that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Now that we’re apart I do truly feel like I’ve left a part of myself behind.”
“It will take time. That’s why I’ve been slowly decreasing the time that you can watch your family rather than just cutting you off altogether. Eventually you will be able to go for weeks in Earth time without feeling the need to check on them.”
“The hours I’m not watching them have been getting easier,” Nathan admitted.
“Maybe, during those hours, you could try leaving the house.”
A shiver of fear went down Nathan’s spine. “I don’t know. I might…” He shook his head. “What if I miss something?”
“Until you’re ready to move on I’ll go with you so that you can be back in time.”
“Really?”
“Yes, Nathan,” Aras said, his voice gentle, and nodded. “I told you that this is a slow process and I’m not going to rush you. Soon you will be losing another hour, but that’s only because I think you’re ready for it.”
Biting his lip, Nathan looked at the mirror. “Losing another hour isn’t going to be too much of a problem. The thing I worry about is going out there and time going faster than I expect it to, so I don’t get back here for the hours I can watch my family.”
“I won’t let that happen. Not while you’re doing so well. You’ve proven to me that you can cope with what I’m doing. I know that if I go faster than you can cope with, then I’m not doing a good job as your guide.”
“Thank you, Aras.”
“I’m glad that you appreciate it but it is my job to do what’s right for you, Nathan. When I was asked to help you I agreed because I understand being where you are and how much easier it is to watch what’s happening on Earth rather than dealing with what’s happened.”
“My death.” Nathan swallowed. “I hate saying that word.”
“It is a hard word to cope with when you’re so close to life. After some time here it doesn’t seem so scary because you realise that death is just a change of circumstance.”
“Have I been here before?”
Aras stared at him for a moment. “For you to have created an incarnation you have to have spent some time in the afterlife.”
“I take it that’s the only answer I’m going to get.”
“Sorry, but there are some things I can’t tell you. They’re things you either need to remember for yourself or learn during your time here. It’s the way it is here.”
Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.