Crack alert! Mature audiences only - sorry to the underage readers.
. . . So yeah. Have some crack. Completely inspired by the Star Trek 2009 version of this. No picspam or GIF, just lyrics and a brief fic-intro. Hope you get as much fun out of this reading it as I did writing it. Complete and utter crack.
Title: I’m On An Ark
Fandom: Transformers (Generation One), cross with current RL song
‘Verse: Does crack count?
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Smokescreen, Jazz
Rating: T for TF cursing
Warnings: Crack. Lots and lots of crack.
Summary: Prowl’s won an Ark ride for three.
Notes: You may want to have this open while you read: http://www.hulu.com/watch/73450/saturday-night-live-digital-short-im-on-a-boat-uncensored. It’s the uncensored version, so if you’re underage go to YouTube and find the censored version instead.
Disclaimer: I do not own the original song or the video linked above. The only profit made from this is emotional and in no way monetary, unless squees and other such commentary have become the new dollar or something like that.
“I won a free Ark ride for three.”
“Yep!”
“And I conveniently have a free block of time for the amount needed for the trip.”
“Yep!”
"Bluestreak, don’t bother.”
“But-”
“But what?”
“You need the time off!”
“. . . Fine. You’re coming. I’m going obviously, so that leaves one more . . .”
“Pick me! Pick me!”
“Smokescreen, you’re coming with us.”
“Yes!”
“Aw, c’mon, Prowler. You know you like me . . .”
“Jazz, no.”
I’m On An Ark
Smokescreen (Prowl)
Aww slag
Get your polishers ready it's about to go down (yeah, Smokescreen)
Everybody in the place hit the fraggin’ deck (yeah, Smokescreen)
But stay on your motherfraggin’ toes
We runnin’ this, let's go
Datsuns (Prowl)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
Everybody look at me cause I'm flyin’ on an Ark (flyin’ on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark
Take a good hard look at the motherfraggin’ Ark (Ark, yeah)
Datsuns (Prowl)
I'm on an Ark motherfragger take a look at me
Straight floatin’ in an Ark in the deep black space
Bustin’ five megamiles, wind whippin’ at my armor
You can't stop me motherfragger cause I'm on an Ark
Take a capture, trick (trick) I'm on an Ark, glitch (glitch)
We drinking the Twins’ high-grade, cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my chevrons, and my sensor-panels
Killin’ the D-cons, you on Earth stuck with PR duties
I'm ridin’ on a Seeker, doin flips and slag
This Seeker’s shootin’, gettin’ everyone all dented
But this ain't a game, this is TF as it gets
I'm on an Ark motherfragger, don't you ever forget
I'm on an Ark and, it's goin’ fast and
I got a Prowl, Bluestreak and a Smokescreen and
I'm the king of the world, on an Ark like OP
If you're on the planet, then you're sho' not me-oh
(Get the frag up, this Ark is real}
Frag land, I'm on an Ark, motherfragger (motherfragger)
Frag trees, I climb towers, motherfragger (motherfragger)
I'm on the deck with my trinemates, motherfragger (yeah)
The Ark engines make noise, motherfragger
Hey Jazz, if you could see us now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this Ark to the energon now (energon now)
Like Prime comin’ back to life, anything is possible
Prowl
Yeah, never thought I'd be on an Ark
It's a big black open-y route (yeah)
Primus, look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the orn
That a big Ark would come my way
Believe me when I say, I fragged a Seeker trine
Datsuns
I'm on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
Everybody look at me cause we’re sailin’ on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
Take a good hard look at the motherfraggin’ Ark
Prowl
Whoahhh
Sha-sha-shorty, shorty
Yeah yeah yeahhh
Again, not mine. All I really own are the ALTERED lyrics and the idea which threw this together.
Title: I’m On An Ark
Fandom: Transformers (Generation One), cross with current RL song
‘Verse: Does crack count?
Characters: Prowl, Bluestreak, Smokescreen, Jazz
Rating: T for TF cursing
Warnings: Crack. Lots and lots of crack.
Summary: Prowl’s won an Ark ride for three.
Notes: You may want to have this open while you read: http://www.hulu.com/watch/73450/saturday-night-live-digital-short-im-on-a-boat-uncensored. It’s the uncensored version, so if you’re underage go to YouTube and find the censored version instead.
Disclaimer: I do not own the original song or the video linked above. The only profit made from this is emotional and in no way monetary, unless squees and other such commentary have become the new dollar or something like that.
“I won a free Ark ride for three.”
“Yep!”
“And I conveniently have a free block of time for the amount needed for the trip.”
“Yep!”
"Bluestreak, don’t bother.”
“But-”
“But what?”
“You need the time off!”
“. . . Fine. You’re coming. I’m going obviously, so that leaves one more . . .”
“Pick me! Pick me!”
“Smokescreen, you’re coming with us.”
“Yes!”
“Aw, c’mon, Prowler. You know you like me . . .”
“Jazz, no.”
I’m On An Ark
Smokescreen (Prowl)
Aww slag
Get your polishers ready it's about to go down (yeah, Smokescreen)
Everybody in the place hit the fraggin’ deck (yeah, Smokescreen)
But stay on your motherfraggin’ toes
We runnin’ this, let's go
Datsuns (Prowl)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
Everybody look at me cause I'm flyin’ on an Ark (flyin’ on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark (I'm on an Ark)
I'm on an Ark
Take a good hard look at the motherfraggin’ Ark (Ark, yeah)
Datsuns (Prowl)
I'm on an Ark motherfragger take a look at me
Straight floatin’ in an Ark in the deep black space
Bustin’ five megamiles, wind whippin’ at my armor
You can't stop me motherfragger cause I'm on an Ark
Take a capture, trick (trick) I'm on an Ark, glitch (glitch)
We drinking the Twins’ high-grade, cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my chevrons, and my sensor-panels
Killin’ the D-cons, you on Earth stuck with PR duties
I'm ridin’ on a Seeker, doin flips and slag
This Seeker’s shootin’, gettin’ everyone all dented
But this ain't a game, this is TF as it gets
I'm on an Ark motherfragger, don't you ever forget
I'm on an Ark and, it's goin’ fast and
I got a Prowl, Bluestreak and a Smokescreen and
I'm the king of the world, on an Ark like OP
If you're on the planet, then you're sho' not me-oh
(Get the frag up, this Ark is real}
Frag land, I'm on an Ark, motherfragger (motherfragger)
Frag trees, I climb towers, motherfragger (motherfragger)
I'm on the deck with my trinemates, motherfragger (yeah)
The Ark engines make noise, motherfragger
Hey Jazz, if you could see us now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this Ark to the energon now (energon now)
Like Prime comin’ back to life, anything is possible
Prowl
Yeah, never thought I'd be on an Ark
It's a big black open-y route (yeah)
Primus, look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the orn
That a big Ark would come my way
Believe me when I say, I fragged a Seeker trine
Datsuns
I'm on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
Everybody look at me cause we’re sailin’ on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
I'm on an Ark
Take a good hard look at the motherfraggin’ Ark
Prowl
Whoahhh
Sha-sha-shorty, shorty
Yeah yeah yeahhh
Again, not mine. All I really own are the ALTERED lyrics and the idea which threw this together.