(for everyone) Counting Stars
Title: Counting Stars
Pairings: Kai/D.O.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~7,400
Warnings: prostitution
Summary: Jongin falls for an old friend and Kyungsoo for an escapist.
Author’s Note: i can only hope i did your prompt some justice! i also hope you're no history major because the accuracy of historical content is probably 2%. also special thanks to a certain sakura-rinxx (lmao) for supporting me through this fic despite not even being in this fandom, i can't thank you enough uvu
They first meet when Kyungsoo was ten.
"Are you lost?" asks the little boy. He's got tanned skin and sleepy eyes that widen with curiosity as he looks at the pale little boy in front of him. Of course Kyungsoo was lost. Panic settles into his skin and his legs begin to shake. The dry air is suddenly suffocating as he feels regret wash over him. He mentally chides himself over his stupid idea. It had seemed like a fine plan when he was slipping past the gates of his house, escaping the confines of what he called home but in reality felt more like a prison. Seduced by the air of freedom that seemed to allude his house, Kyungsoo had set off to finally see the outside world for all its supposed beauty without a logical thought in mind. It’s only until he turns a few corners and finds himself in a part of the city he‘s never passed through, that reality crashes in. He has no idea where he is and he has no idea how to get home. This doesn’t come as a surprise to Kyungsoo, since he’s only ten and he's never quite seen the city. The only times he’s actually been out was in order to travel to another nobleman’s house but that was inside a carriage with windows much too small to encapsulate the vast world outside.
Now, Kyungsoo looks both ways at this outside world, only to see a line of houses. They were small and too close together, nothing like his home. It didn’t look like his house was anywhere in sight. A cold gust of wind blew in his direction making his legs shiver. He looks back at the little boy in front of him, eyes bewildered, he somehow found himself nodding in the negative.
"Uh, no, I'm not lost." Kyungsoo speaks quietly, maybe because he's a little too scared to admit he was. Not that this little boy would know where Kyungsoo's home was anyway.
"Oh," The smaller boy's face quickly lights up at the response. "Then do you want to play with me?" He flashes a big smile showcasing a set of pearly whites with a tooth or two missing here and there. He was definitely younger than Kyungsoo because all of Kyungsoo's baby teeth had already fallen off, he muses to himself as his tongue traces over all his grown up teeth. The little boy extends a tiny hand to Kyungsoo as he waits for a reply.
Kyungsoo can only reply with a furious nod because yes, he most definitely did want to play. That’s all any ten year old would want to do. Kyungsoo didn't have a brother or sister so the he spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes Chanyeol or Baekhyun would visit but rarely, not to mention they both had older siblings so they had a lot more fun at home. Kyungsoo spent most of his time playing alone or taking boring classes. He takes the stranger's hand and lets the smaller boy lead him.
"My name is Jongin by the way." He turns back and smiles at Kyungsoo as they walk forward.
"I'm Kyungsoo."
For some strange reason Kyungsoo no longer feels afraid of being lost or getting in trouble with his parents when they inevitably find out that he has snuck out. All he knows is that Jongin's hand feels very warm against his and his smile equally so. He thinks he'd follow Jongin wherever he wanted to go.
---
Kyungsoo wakes up to a dull pain thrumming inside his skull. He was never much for celebrations unlike his friends who were far more rowdy in nature but he admits he may have had a little too much to drink last night. Last night was the celebration of his eighteenth birthday and it may have been the only day Kyungsoo could truly celebrate before plunging himself to the new sets of responsibilities that await him since now. He was the son of the lord and next in line for the position.
Kyungsoo spends the greater half of the day drilling endless amounts of rules and regulations into that tiny head of his, and by time night falls, his headache has only intensified. Feeling like his mind had reached nearly full capacity, he decides to take a short walk outside. He tugs on his coat and shoos the guards when they try to escort him outside, sternly ordering that he wished to have some time alone. He walks past the gates of his estate and observes the clusters of stars that have littered the midnight blue sky, it was already so late into the night. The streets were empty and eerily silent save for the clacking of Kyungsoo's shoes; wood against earth; clack, clack, clack. A light, cool breeze blows against Kyungsoo adding to the lonely, grim atmosphere. Most of the city was still foreign grounds to Kyungsoo, since he spent all of his life confined in his home with only sparse exposure to city. Most nobles didn't leave their homes until they reached adulthood. They spent their childhood inside their homes, playing in their large courtyard and entertaining themselves with the abundant toys and books that the best merchants in town would deliver right to their gates. With everything they ever needed right inside their gates, there was no reason to go outside.
Kyungsoo walks down the stony road and observes the landscape of the city, turning his head left and right and left again in an attempt to capture every part of the city and commit it all to memory. The houses here were smaller, he notes. They were a worn out gray, some on the verge of crumbling. The streets were wide with empty stalls around the corners. His eyes widen with fascination as the road branches off into multiple directions leaving him in awe with all the possibilities. This city was too grand for one simple midnight walk.
"Are you lost?" Kyungsoo's head shoots up to a mysterious deep voice only to see a boy, likely around his age but taller. Much taller. Kyungsoo's vision was hindered from the darkness but from what he could see, the boy had smooth, tanned skin that stretched over lean muscles and Kyungsoo had to admit, his face wasn't half bad either. He became increasingly aware of the differences between him and this boy and scowls to himself.
"No, I'm not lost." Kyungsoo responds with a hint of nostalgia and deja vu.
"Oh, I apologize. You look like you’re lost. Or scared." The stranger chuckles. Kyungsoo scowls because truthfully, he's been told this far too often.
"I’m not scared."
"It's the eyes." The stranger says jokingly at Kyungsoo's displeasure. He points at the smaller boy's eyes and widens his own for effect. "They're so big." After a closer inspection the taller boy's smile slowly drops and it throws Kyungsoo off guard. He takes a step back nervously as the other boy’s eyebrow furrow together and inspects Kyungsoo closely.
"W-what is it, why are you looking at me like that?" Kyungsoo says, bewildered.
"Kyungsoo." The boy whispers.
"How do you know my name?"
"It's actually you!" The stranger's smile reappears, this time even wider, except the friendly smile is now replaced with something more mischievous, making Kyungsoo feel like he was missing the punch line of a joke.
"Who are you?" Kyungsoo asks, confused.
"I'm Jongin. Do you remember me?" Kyungsoo's eyes widen in shock. Of course he remembered Jongin. He never forgot that day when he snuck out of his house as a child and consequently never forgot Jongin. He looks back at the boy more carefully, noticing the hooded eyes and playful smile that hasn't changed since that day eight years ago. It was undoubtedly him.
"Yes, I do actually. How do you still remember me?" He asks. For Kyungsoo, meeting Jongin was something he couldn't forget; that day had left a big impact on him. However Kyungsoo had thought that to Jongin, he was nothing more than an ordinary boy he had met by chance and decided to play with.
Jongin laughs again. "It's the eyes." Jongin says taking a step closer to Kyungsoo, the laughter dies down to a small smile as he holds his gaze with Kyungsoo's. They're only one small stride away from each other. They're too close for Kyungsoo's liking.
"What are you doing out this late?" Kyungsoo asks curiously.
"Work."
"What kind of work has to be done so late at night?" Kyungsoo asks suspiciously. As far as he knew, nothing good came from the night.
"Secret." Jongin smiles coyly and brings his index finger to his lips to emphasis the secrecy. Kyungsoo decides not to push it, since Jongin was after all, still a stranger to him.
"And what brings you here so late?" Jongin asks.
"Stress. I needed to get out of my house. I barely turned eighteen and my father already insists on teaching me everything there is to know about his job."
"Ah, I see. And your dad's job would be?"
"He's a lord, Jongin." Kyungsoo sighs, it was no easy job.
"Oh, you're the son of a lord? I knew you have that air of nobility around you." Jongin raises an eyebrow and smiles. He lifts Kyungsoo's chin up with a finger so their eyes meet. "Must be nice living in luxury, huh? Having people tend to your every need." Kyungsoo pulls away from Jongin's touch, annoyed.
"It's boring and stressful, actually." Kyungsoo deadpans.
"Yeah? Why don't you just quit. You can run away and be free." Jongin says. He looks at the other boy slyly and stretches his arms like a bird and pretends to fly around Kyungsoo, mimicking birds as they glide in the sky. He stops and looks back at older boy. "You can run away with me." He's got a smirk on his face and promise in his eyes and for a split second Kyungsoo actually wonders what it would be like to run away with this stranger before him. Something about Jongin reeled Kyungsoo in, he had a look that screamed recklessness and it was so, so inviting. However reality settles into Kyungsoo's skin and clears the pleasured visions of escape that clouds the noble's eyes. He glares at the taller boy then rolls his eyes. He turns around and begins to walk back home.
"Don't be so foolish, Jongin."
---
Kyungsoo makes it a habit to find Jongin sometime past nightfall. He refuses to admit that he is actually searching for the younger boy instead he eases his mind by reassuring himself that he simply enjoys taking walks at night. Of course the only thing enjoyable about the cool wind that pinched his skin and dark sky that nearly blinded his vision was Jongin. They don't stay together for long because Kyungsoo always catches Jongin before he heads off to his mysterious place of work. Jongin listens to all of Kyungsoo's complaints about work attentively and anything else that was on the noble's mind, while Kyungsoo slowly begins to unravel himself to the sun kissed stranger. Jongin, one the other hand, was a man of very few words. He was well spoken and handled his words with care. Every word uttered from those pretty lips of his held with meaning and importance.
"Tell me Kyungsoo, what would you want to be in the next life?" Jongin asks one day as they stroll through the city. Kyungsoo managed to catch the younger boy a little earlier than their usual late night walk tonight.
"I'm not sure, I don't know any life other than the one I am living right now." Kyungsoo replies. He wonders what it'd be like to live as a commoner; an average citizen in the city. He thinks about the struggles he'd face with survival and hard labor and he also thinks about Jongin. Maybe they'd spend more time together. They could have grown up to be best friends who sleep at each other's houses and play games outside in the neighborhood. He thinks it may have been a nice life to live. "What about you, Jongin, what would you do?"
"I would walk tightropes in a circus. I'd travel the world, never staying in one place too long." Jongin replies excitingly. His eyes are looking at the older boy while his mind is fantasizing about great new world. He inches closer to Kyungsoo and speaks in a hushed tone, as if this brand new world he has created is a secretive place for Kyungsoo only. "And you know what you would be? You would be the ringleader. The entire show is for you to command because I know you like control. You'd have the whole audience at your mercy. We'd create a magnificent show, Kyungsoo, you and I. A great show with plenty of bright lights and strange people."
Jongin’s whispers were almost seducing in the way they spoke of such a fantastical dream, painting alluring images of tightropes and hoops lit on fire. The images play in his head as if they were simple memories stored in his mind. Scenarios jumbling together about the life the two boys could have lived. He thinks about the sea of audience inside their big red tent, cheering for him and his team of disjointed freaks.
"Wouldn't it be awfully lonely to travel the world but have no place to call home?" Kyungsoo asks in an equally hushed tone, playing into all of Jongin's vivid dreams.
"And the life you're living right now isn't?"
"What makes you think I'm lonely?"
"You're always out at night looking for me."
---
Today was an important day. A day of utmost importance as Kyungsoo's father expressed. Today the lords and ladies of the city would meet in the royal castle to review city affairs and assure his majesty that the city is very much stable and safe. Kyungsoo is forced to tag along since he was now an adult in order to get an idea of what these meetings were like and more importantly to learn how to behave in the presence of royalty. As responsible and mature as Kyungsoo was he still felt like a child going into a meeting full of adults.
"Master, you're clothes are ready." A servant calls out, breaking Kyungsoo from his thoughts. He sighs inward and begins to tug on his clothes. He wears a pair of black trousers and pulls a dark maroon tunic over his head. It was embroidered at the hems of the sleeves with a careful stitching of black silk around the collar. He puts a thin gold chain around his neck but decides to tuck it in under his tunic. Jewellery was a necessity for nobles, after all you were worth as much as the rings cluttering your fingers or the chains wrapped around your neck. However Kyungsoo was never fond of them, it always felt as if they were weighing him down.
The trip to the castle is long and straining as Kyungsoo lived in the far west end of the city, opposite to the royal castle which was situated on the east. He spent his time staring out the window of the carriage, watching the fields of grass and hills roll by as they travel around the outskirts of the city until they reached more inland where the streets are littered with small houses and crowds of people. They begin to move slower at this point, stopping every so often for herds of animals or people to pass by. Kyungsoo props his elbow against the window and rests his head against his palm. His eyes start to feel heavy until something catches his attention. Of course it’s Jongin.
He was quite a distance away but Kyungsoo was undoubtedly sure it was him in front of a house which the noble can only assume was his own. He still knew very little about the boy. He watches the younger boy carry a load of fire wood to his house. His skin glistened from sweat as the sun beat down on his caramel body. Jongin tosses his dark hair back and lets his face bathe in the sunlight for a quick moment before grabbing another load of wood. The muscles of his arms flex from the heavy weight of the wood and he lets out a deep breath. He heads into his house with the wood and returns outside a moment later. He leans over a barrel of water and splashes his face with water until it dampens his hair and parts of his tunic. The younger boy pulls his shirt over his head then shakes his hair, showering the ground. His back is turned to Kyungsoo and the older boy couldn’t pull his eyes away from the Jongin’s lean, toned backside. He traces the careful lines of his back right down to his hips where his trousers hung dangerously low. He finds himself biting his lower lips unknowingly until Jongin turns around, eyes catching Kyungsoo’s gaze dead on. He raises a brow at the older boy with an easy smirk plastered across his face. He was well aware of Kyungsoo watching him. Completely flustered and annoyed by the younger boy's teasing, Kyungsoo quickly turns away from the window. His body feels like it’s on fire, his stomach is forming thick knots and his heart is beating too erratically. Kyungsoo doesn’t have to look at himself to know that his cheeks are dusted a cherry red.
He pays no attention to the meeting later that day, his mind a jumbled mess with thoughts of a certain sun kissed stranger. Replaying and repeating everything that is Jongin. Every hushed whisper, every easy smile and boisterous laugh.
---
When he sees Jongin the next day during their usual midnight walks, the younger boy has a wide grin on face. It wasn't the teasing kind that had become a trademark to him. It was a happy grin, stretched from one end to another with a pinch of excitement.
"Come Kyungsoo, I want to show you something." Jongin says. He grabs the older boy's hands and pulls him along. Kyungsoo obliges with a small hum and lets himself be dragged along the outskirts of the city. He feels nostalgia heavy on his chest as Jongin leads Kyungsoo down the road with their hands intertwined. Jongin's hand was warm against his and his smile still equally so. Kyungsoo can't stop the small smile that makes its way to his lips.
They reach the hills on the outskirts of the city. The tall grass whispers in the wind and tickles the noble's ankles. It was a calming sight, nothing but rolling hills as far as his eyes can see. Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo's hand to find a spot in the grass and lies down. Kyungsoo doesn't hesitate to do the same, finding a comfortable spot next to the younger boy. Jongin lets out a content sigh as his hand runs through the grass and finds its way back into Kyungsoo's, carefully interlacing their fingers.
"Aren't the stars beautiful?" Jongin asks, eyes fixated on the tiny twinkling lights littering the sky. Kyungsoo looks up at them in amazement. It was as if he was getting a good look at them for the first time. He hums in response, words stuck in his throat as he tries to take in the sight. There were so many stars, some in thick clusters, some shining brightly on their own; all mesmerizing against the velvelt backdrop. It was enticing the way the dark sky blanketed them endlessly, the way Kyungsoo felt like he could watch them forever and find no end.
"I've always been fond of the night sky, the way it goes on endlessly. I love the infinity in the stars." Kyungsoo says, speaking slow and almost drowsily. His shoulders and back relax onto the earth and his hand remains intertwined with Jongin's, their touch feels so heavy as if he can feel every crease and curve on his palm and fingers against him. He could stay like this for a long time, maybe forever.
"I've always found it a bit frightening the way the sky goes on forever. The vastness of the universe is scary. It goes on and on and Earth only feels smaller and smaller. Why does that make me feel so insignificant?" Jongin thinks aloud.
"The human ego is a fragile thing, that's why." Kyungsoo replies. Jongin chuckles at the response, his hand tightening his grip on Kyungsoo.
"Perhaps."
They lay on the grass in silence, the comfortable kind. Kyungsoo faintly wonders if Jongin had work tonight because they've never spent this much time together in one night. He safely assumes he doesn’t. He cranes his neck to the side to catch a glimpse of the taller boy through the tickling grass only to find that his eyes are peacefully shut. Tranquility smooths out the fine lines of his gentle face and, Kyungsoo wonders if he's fallen asleep by now. He feels a tad bit tired himself with his eyes suddenly heavy and beginning to flutter close. He's in a dream-like state, somewhere bordering between reality and his unconscious.
"Kyungsoo," Jongin whispers softly, still managing to jolt Kyungsoo firmly back into reality. He feels drowsy but hums in response, waiting for Jongin to continue. "Wouldn't it be great to go on the moon? We could find a comfortable spot to lie down on the moon and watch the Earth in the sky, stare back at all the people who stare up at the moon." Jongin lifts his hand up to the sky, squinting, he puts his index finger and thumb around the moon as if it were within his grasp.
"Don't be ridiculous. We can't go to the moon, there's no way up there." Kyungsoo says while yawning.
"Maybe one day there will be. Maybe I'll be the first man on the moon." Jongin says. Kyungsoo turns over to check for the glimpse of hope in Jongin's eyes. It's there. This is who Jongin was; a dreamer. Jongin was the stranger who'd runaway from this city, he was the circus man walking on dangerously thin tightropes, he was the man on the moon waving back at Earth. The bounds of reality didn't matter to a boy who lived in his dreams.
Kyungsoo wonders what life is really like for Jongin, why exactly was his reality not worth living. Kyungsoo wonders if this is why Jongin always came to him. Maybe Kyungsoo is trying to fend away his loneliness but Jongin is trying to fend away reality. Kyungsoo was his escape. Of course Jongin can contort whatever reality he pleased with Kyungsoo because when it came down to it, he knew nothing about Jongin. Kyungsoo kept Jongin's dreams alive and perhaps that's all Kyungsoo was to the boy he thinks to himself. A heavy feeling rises in his chest. Kyungsoo thinks it might be disappointment.
--
"Kyungsoo get dressed. We're going to go out tonight."
"I kindly decline." Kyungsoo replies, beginning to return to room. His friends were very much capable to escorting themselves out of his house.
"Kyungsoo, you're barely eighteen years old yet you appear closer thirty. At this rate, you'll die before your father." Chanyeol, one Kyungsoo's old childhood friends, teases while yanking the smaller boy back into the hall. He was a giant in the making who smiled too wide and talked far too loud. His attachment to Chanyeol from childhood is likely the only reason they're still close friends.
"It's true, Kyungsoo. I can already see the wrinkles you're getting from the stress." Says Baekhyun, Kyungsoo's other friend who was equally as obnoxious. Kyungsoo scowls at the two boys.
"Where exactly do you suggest we go then, to revive my youth?" Kyungsoo asks, raising his brow.
"An inn I came across a while ago. It's quite an interesting place if I do say so myself." Chanyeol replies with a mischievous smile.
"Some booze and women ought to do you some good." Baekhyun declares while putting an arm around Kyungsoo. He glares at the younger boy. "Kyungsoo, you're going." The last thing Kyungsoo wanted to do right now was get intoxicated only to deal with a pounding headache the morning after but he admits, he has been immensely stressed recently. Perhaps he needed to unwind. Moreover it's been a long time since he's spent time with his friends. He sighs out loud and retreats into his room.
"Give me a moment to get dressed."
A short time later, Kyungsoo finds himself in a bar hidden underneath of what had been an average looking inn. It was located in the west side, not far from his own estate but Kyungsoo still knew little of the city. The cold chill ran down the noble's spine warning him that this was a bad idea. Something about this hidden inn irked the boy but he pushes the feeling aside knowing it was likely irrational. A long spiral staircase took them down to the venue. Inns were typically for the sophisticated and wealthy but Kyungsoo has never had time to go to one until now, he admits this room has a nice ambience. Plenty of lamps were lit around the entire room to supply light to the underground tavern, hard wooden tables scattered around the room and lastly a bar on the far left side. The strong smell of alcohol and incense bombards Kyungsoo's nose making the boy scowl in displeasure. He liked the incense, it created a nice aroma to the otherwise musky underground room but he was never quite fond of the smell of alcohol. They take a seat on the table farther back and close to the staircase, “in case Kyungsoo decides to flee!” Chanyeol jokes loudly.
The room is filled with hearty laughter and drunken cheers. There was a crowd gathered around a table listening to the drunken tall tales someone was spurring on about, others sat by the bar and drank themselves wasted, however most people flirted themselves with the men and women who appeared to be working in the bar. The workers all wore a similar outfit of black trousers and tunics. The women wore minimal clothing generously exposing their curves while the men wore a similar attire, exposing lean muscles and toned bodies.
"Like what you see? You should go have some fun with them, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol says catching Kyungsoo's gaze. Kyungsoo can’t stop watching the way the sleazy old men here regard the workers with hungry eyes, some pulling them onto their lap as their hands explore the worker's bodies. Finally Kyungsoo understands. The workers here were prostitutes. It wasn't a surprise since it was common practice for most prostitutes to be around inns or alehouses. He scruffs at the taller boy, of course Chanyeol would take Kyungsoo to some whore house disguised as an inn. Baekhyun sits at the table with three pints of ale, the other two take their pint with a thanks. Chanyeol and Baekhyun slam their cups together in cheers and chug their drink down, Kyungsoo on the other hand reluctantly drinks his.
However one drink slowly turns into two, three, four until Kyungsoo loses count. He feels pleasantly buzzed, his shoulders slowly loosening up and nerves unwinding. He turns to his friends who were nothing short of obnoxious drunks at this point and laughs at their idiocy.
His mind drifts off into thoughts and he finds himself thinking about Jongin and how he wanted to go outside and meet him for their regular walks around the city, rather than be here. He wants to see the twinkle in Jongin's eyes and fall victim to more of his tempting fantasies. He wanted to feel the curious sensation of wholeness that he only seems to feel with the boy.
Kyungsoo furrows his brows in frustration, knowing not to get ahead of himself. To Jongin, Kyungsoo was merely a friend, if even that. He refused to delude himself with thoughts that the two of them shared something special. Kyungsoo shakes his head in hopes of ridding himself of all thoughts of the sun kissed stranger. Maybe Chanyeol was right, maybe he should find a woman. However a quick scan of the women in the room easily disappoints him; they were all beautiful but none of them seem to light the in him that Jongin seemed to effortlessly lit.
"Kyungsoo! It's your turn!" Baekhyun yells, holding up his empty glass for another round. Kyungsoo vaguely wonders if they've had enough to drink but discards the thought figuring that it would only be enough when his thoughts are free of Jongin. He gets up from the stool, holding on the table for support and wobbles towards the bar. He has little motor control making each step terribly uncoordinated. Kyungsoo looks around the tavern and tries to figure out how long he's been here for, noticing new faces in the crowd. His thoughts are cut short and when he recognizes a much too familiar face in crowd. Somewhere between the drunken men and the flickers of orange that illuminates the dark room, Kyungsoo catches a glimpse of Jongin and the sight almost makes the boy hurl. He watches Jongin on the lap of another man, twice his size and likely twice his age. The stranger grabs Jongin by the chin and pulls him close, a disgusting smile stretches across his face and the hungry look of lust fills his eyes. He whispers in the boy's ears while his other hand begins to snake up his leg and thigh settling on his ass. Jealousy, anger and arousal boils within Kyungsoo all at once but his thoughts were clouded in mostly confusion. Without hesitation or lack of self-control he walks up to the boy. There's a painful ache resonating from Kyungsoo's chest and he feels sick to the stomach.
"Jongin." Kyungsoo says, catching the other boy off guard. There's desperation in Kyungsoo's voice as if he was hoping for this not to be true. That this boy before him wasn't his Jongin. Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo and tears himself from the other man, quickly distancing himself from him. A closer look at Jongin now helps put the pieces together in Kyungsoo's mind. He recognizes the familiar black attire on Jongin that many of the other men and women wore. Oh.
"Kyungsoo--"
"I paid for him tonight, go find someone else." The old man slurs, cutting Jongin off. He grabs Jongin's arm and pulls him back. Kyungsoo glares at the older man in detest. He looked relatively wealthy like most of the people here, with rings and chains decorating his body. It disgusted him that this is how wealthy people wasted their money.
"Shut the hell up, old man." Jongin says darkly, anger laced in his words. He shakes off the man's hand and walks away from him, grabbing Kyungsoo along. Kyungsoo looks at the taller boy in confusion, he's sure Jongin wasn’t allowed to do that.
"Jongin, I--" Kyungsoo starts when they reach the other side of the room. He didn't know what to say, his previous actions had been purely on impulses. He looks at the younger boy who was only staring at the ground. Jongin held an air of confidence with him, he was always one step ahead of Kyungsoo as if everything was playing out how he wanted it to but this was different. Jongin looked equally confused, he barely looked like the boy Kyungsoo had gotten to know in the last few months.
"Kyungsoo!" Kyungsoo whips his head back to the voice in annoyance, it was Chanyeol. Chanyeol walks towards the two and slings an arm around Kyungsoo. "Kyungsoo, time to go. You can have fun with these whores another time." His words are slurred and unnecessarily loud. His breath reeks of alcohol and it only bothers Kyungsoo more. Kyungsoo catches it, the look of disappointment on Jongin’s face when Chanyeol uttered those cruel words but it’s quickly covered up with a face of indifference. He had half a mind to punch Chanyeol in the face but stops short.
"Goodbye, Kyungsoo." Jongin says with a petty smile before walking away. Kyungsoo wants to pull Jongin back because he still had so much to say, he wasn't quite sure what to say but there were words stuck in his throat that he was sure needed to be said. However his feet remained firmly planted to the ground, he couldn't bring himself to move.
He wasn’t not sure how but he manages to get back home some way or another. He doesn't remember the events that took place after Jongin left but he wakes up lying in bed. His head already began to ache but a look out the window told him it was still early in the morning. He stares into the darkness, eyes burning with fatigue but he didn't wanted to go back to sleep. Instead he decides to get out and get some fresh air. He stands on his balcony, his bare feet pressed against the cold floor and looks out at the view. It was just past dawn, Kyungsoo thinks as he spots a peak of light rising from the horizon. He looks out at the city beyond the gate of his home and wonders what Jongin was doing. Memories from last night muddle his mind and hurt his chest. He remembers the day he saw Jongin after his eighteenth birthday and the way Jongin looked that night; so mysterious and alluring. He remembers when the younger boy had told Kyungsoo to run away with him. The idea plays in his head, ever so tempting. He feels the same way he did that night. He wanted to leave his home and find Jongin. He wanted to take his hand and run away from this city.
He was becoming as delusional as Jongin. The noble sighs and head back into his room.
---
The next few days blur together and amount to nothing more than tired mornings, restless afternoons and lonely walks at night. Kyungsoo begins to get tired of waiting, tired enough to search for the boy. He searches the inn and the house he had earlier assumed was Jongin’s. He didn’t have time to wonder around the entire city searching for the boy but something told him he didn’t need to.
Jongin was gone.
It didn’t surprise Kyungsoo, not one bit. He expected nothing more of Jongin; Jongin the dreamer, Jongin the escapist. There were no more dreams for Jongin in this city and Kyungsoo couldn’t deny the aching feeling inside him that wondered why he wasn’t enough.
---
Somewhere in the depths of the night Kyungsoo finally makes it to his room after another gruelling day of work. He uses a lantern to guide himself through the dark halls of his house until he reaches his room. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of dreariness he seemed to feel every day. It leaves him tired to the bones yet constantly awake at night. It’s become habitual at this point and Kyungsoo thinks he spends more time yawning than speaking. He enters his room stretching his arms, his loud yawn quickly turning into a startled gasp when he spots a dark figure shadowed by the moonlight that filtered through the windows of his balcony. He quickly raises his lantern to the figure, only to see a familiar face.
“Jongin?” Kyungsoo whispers curiously. His mind is quickly flooded with too many questions as he tries to process the situation before him but he decides to start with the obvious. “How did you get in here?”
“I snuck in.” Jongin smiles while shrugging casually. He points towards the balcony which Kyungsoo only now notices is open. Kyungsoo’s not sure if that was enough of an explanation but he lets it go due to more pressing concerns that racked his mind.
“Your room is everything I imagined it to be; organized and delightfully boring.” Jongin says while his eyes scan the room. Kyungsoo glares at the younger boy but doesn’t bother with a retort because Jongin sadly spoke the truth. Compare to the other rooms in his house, his bedroom was dreadfully boring. He wasn’t interested in decorating; his room was practical. He cuts his thoughts short realizing that the interior design of his room was not important right now.
“What are you doing here, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks warily, afraid that an accusing tone may scare the boy away. It was late at night and his family was likely asleep but sneaking into Kyungsoo’s house was still risky. He tried not to worry about it though. He wasn’t going to let him get away this time. Jongin looks back at the noble and smiles, it’s mostly hidden from the dark but Kyungsoo catches it anyway.
“I missed you.”
Kyungsoo scruffs because it’s been one month. One month since he had last seen Jongin at the inn. Kyungsoo searched and searched for the boy only to come empty handed. Jongin left without a trace as if he were nothing more than a dream to the older boy. Jongin left Kyungsoo with all his fantasies that still tormented his head late at night and a sky full of stars that no longer seemed to shine as bright. Kyungsoo stares at Jongin as if he expected to see a change in the boy's appearance in their one month apart, finding nothing strikingly different. His hair may have grown a little longer but he still looked the same. Maybe the one month felt much longer to Kyungsoo than it should have. He walks closer to the boy, closing their distance with every slow stride. He grabs a handful of Jongin’s tunic, clutching onto the boy while his eyes retreat to the ground in annoyance.
“Yes, well I missed you too.” Kyungsoo replies begrudgingly. He hates that Jongin walks into his room unannounced a month later telling Kyungsoo he missed him. He especially hated the way the younger boy still made his heart beat so erratically as if it were threatening to beat out of his chest. Kyungsoo leans his head against Jongin’s chest and closes his eyes. He feels so comfortable like this leaning against the taller boy. He breathes a drawn-out sigh.
“Why did you leave?” Kyungsoo asks with a hint of desperation in his voice. Jongin doesn’t reply for a while, he brings his hand to the back of Kyungsoo’s neck and caresses gentle circles slowly soothing the older boy.
“I hated it, I hated everything about who I was.” Jongin spoke softly with defeat in his voice. “When I saw you at the inn, everything about my life became so glaringly real. I lived an awful life. So I ran away, I suppose it was something I’ve wanted to do for a while though.” It wasn’t anything Kyungsoo couldn’t guess already but it hurt none the less to hear it aloud.
“So why did you come back?” Kyungsoo asks, his words muffled against Jongin’s chest. He didn’t want to move, not yet.
“I missed you.” Jongin repeats. Kyungsoo smiles to himself, there was a warm feeling overcoming his body. It was so warm and comforting, seeping right down to his bones.
“I didn’t care, you know?” Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin now. He sets his lantern aside on his bedside table. Too many of Jongin’s features hid in the dark but he was close enough to lock eyes with the younger boy. “I didn’t care about your work. I don’t look down on you for it; you are no less of a person to me.” Jongin laughs quietly.
“That occurred to me while I was gone. I let myself think that my life should be kept a secret only because I was afraid you would think lowly of me if you knew the truth. In reality I just hated everything about the way I lived but I thought if you didn’t know about my life than maybe I could pretend it wasn’t real." Jongin sighs. "Running away didn't seem to work well though, not when I realized I still had one thing in my life I couldn't give up on."
Kyungsoo didn’t know how to reply instead he decides to pull the boy down into a kiss. He admits to thinking about kissing Jongin far too often, wanting only to feel those thick lips against his. Jongin smiles into the kiss and quickly presses against Kyungsoo. Jongin tastes sweet against Kyungsoo, he tastes like escape. It was better than anything he has ever imagined.
“What should I do now, Kyungsoo?” Jongin whispers in heavy breaths between their kisses. The older boy wasn’t sure if Jongin was referring to their present situation or towards their general situation but decides he knew the answer to both.
“Well, maybe tomorrow I can start helping you find a new job,” Kyungsoo starts. He safely assumes he is no longer invited to the inn after a month of disappearance. He smirks at the younger boy. “But right now, you’re coming to my bed.”
Jongin gladly obliges and pushes the older boy up on to the bed. He presses their lips together into a heated kiss and Kyungsoo thinks there is nothing more satisfying than the way Jongin's lips feel. Jongin's needy hands roam Kyungsoo and he lets them because he has been waiting much too long for this. He needed Jongin so desperately. The younger boy slips his hand underneath Kyungsoo’s tunic and rest at his hips. Kyungsoo cups the younger boy's face in his hands and kisses the younger boy back feverishly, feeling the heat pool to the pit of his belly. Their clothes hit the floor in between heavy breaths and breathy moans. Jongin latches his mouth to the older boy’s protruding collarbone, marking him in sweet red kisses that poka dot his pale skin. They work fast, work each other up fast because it only feels like seconds before Kyungsoo is searching through his drawer for some kind of oil for the younger boy. Jongin opens him up carefully with soft words and gentle caresses. He presses his finger inside Kyungsoo and kisses the pain away until he has three fingers pressed inside the boy. He removes the fingers making Kyungsoo gasp and lathers his erection with more oil before pressing inside the noble. The heat engulfs the younger boy, the rings of muscle clench around his needy erection making Jongin tip his head back in bliss. The younger boy moans loud, almost embarrassingly so. He thrusts into Kyungsoo until he’s a mess of moans, slurring an incoherent chain of pleasejonginyes. Jongin’s hands snakes around Kyungsoo’s erection working the boy to his climax. Jongin comes right after with Kyungsoo’s name on his lips. He collapses on the bed next to the noble.
Kyungsoo pulls him into a lazy kiss after the wake of their beautiful disaster, it was nothing short from dirty sheets and lazy smiles. He rests his head against Jongin’s chest, far too tired to clean up.
“Did you know when I was a child I could never fall asleep unless someone sang me a lullaby,” Kyungsoo whispers quietly, his eyes begin to flutter shut from fatigue but he smiles contently. “I think in another life, I would like to be a singer.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo thinks to himself, finding a place for Jongin in his world. “And you would be a dancer.”
“A dancer?” Jongin asks idly. He has a hand running through Kyungsoo’s hair slowly lulling the boy to a drowsy state.
“Have you seen your body? A dancer suits you fine.” Kyungsoo half jokes, raising a brow. Jongin was all lean toned muscles and long limbs, he would look elegant dancing.
“So would you sing for me when I dance?”
“Of course I would. We can travel the world together just singing and dancing for people. Jongin, the dancer and Kyungsoo, the singer, how does that sound?” Kyungsoo asks. He thinks it sounds lovely.
“It sounds wonderful but I think Kyungsoo, the son of a lord and Jongin, his secret lover sounds great too.” Kyungsoo laughs. He admits that it didn’t sound all too bad either.
Pairings: Kai/D.O.
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~7,400
Warnings: prostitution
Summary: Jongin falls for an old friend and Kyungsoo for an escapist.
Author’s Note: i can only hope i did your prompt some justice! i also hope you're no history major because the accuracy of historical content is probably 2%. also special thanks to a certain sakura-rinxx (lmao) for supporting me through this fic despite not even being in this fandom, i can't thank you enough uvu
They first meet when Kyungsoo was ten.
"Are you lost?" asks the little boy. He's got tanned skin and sleepy eyes that widen with curiosity as he looks at the pale little boy in front of him. Of course Kyungsoo was lost. Panic settles into his skin and his legs begin to shake. The dry air is suddenly suffocating as he feels regret wash over him. He mentally chides himself over his stupid idea. It had seemed like a fine plan when he was slipping past the gates of his house, escaping the confines of what he called home but in reality felt more like a prison. Seduced by the air of freedom that seemed to allude his house, Kyungsoo had set off to finally see the outside world for all its supposed beauty without a logical thought in mind. It’s only until he turns a few corners and finds himself in a part of the city he‘s never passed through, that reality crashes in. He has no idea where he is and he has no idea how to get home. This doesn’t come as a surprise to Kyungsoo, since he’s only ten and he's never quite seen the city. The only times he’s actually been out was in order to travel to another nobleman’s house but that was inside a carriage with windows much too small to encapsulate the vast world outside.
Now, Kyungsoo looks both ways at this outside world, only to see a line of houses. They were small and too close together, nothing like his home. It didn’t look like his house was anywhere in sight. A cold gust of wind blew in his direction making his legs shiver. He looks back at the little boy in front of him, eyes bewildered, he somehow found himself nodding in the negative.
"Uh, no, I'm not lost." Kyungsoo speaks quietly, maybe because he's a little too scared to admit he was. Not that this little boy would know where Kyungsoo's home was anyway.
"Oh," The smaller boy's face quickly lights up at the response. "Then do you want to play with me?" He flashes a big smile showcasing a set of pearly whites with a tooth or two missing here and there. He was definitely younger than Kyungsoo because all of Kyungsoo's baby teeth had already fallen off, he muses to himself as his tongue traces over all his grown up teeth. The little boy extends a tiny hand to Kyungsoo as he waits for a reply.
Kyungsoo can only reply with a furious nod because yes, he most definitely did want to play. That’s all any ten year old would want to do. Kyungsoo didn't have a brother or sister so the he spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes Chanyeol or Baekhyun would visit but rarely, not to mention they both had older siblings so they had a lot more fun at home. Kyungsoo spent most of his time playing alone or taking boring classes. He takes the stranger's hand and lets the smaller boy lead him.
"My name is Jongin by the way." He turns back and smiles at Kyungsoo as they walk forward.
"I'm Kyungsoo."
For some strange reason Kyungsoo no longer feels afraid of being lost or getting in trouble with his parents when they inevitably find out that he has snuck out. All he knows is that Jongin's hand feels very warm against his and his smile equally so. He thinks he'd follow Jongin wherever he wanted to go.
---
Kyungsoo wakes up to a dull pain thrumming inside his skull. He was never much for celebrations unlike his friends who were far more rowdy in nature but he admits he may have had a little too much to drink last night. Last night was the celebration of his eighteenth birthday and it may have been the only day Kyungsoo could truly celebrate before plunging himself to the new sets of responsibilities that await him since now. He was the son of the lord and next in line for the position.
Kyungsoo spends the greater half of the day drilling endless amounts of rules and regulations into that tiny head of his, and by time night falls, his headache has only intensified. Feeling like his mind had reached nearly full capacity, he decides to take a short walk outside. He tugs on his coat and shoos the guards when they try to escort him outside, sternly ordering that he wished to have some time alone. He walks past the gates of his estate and observes the clusters of stars that have littered the midnight blue sky, it was already so late into the night. The streets were empty and eerily silent save for the clacking of Kyungsoo's shoes; wood against earth; clack, clack, clack. A light, cool breeze blows against Kyungsoo adding to the lonely, grim atmosphere. Most of the city was still foreign grounds to Kyungsoo, since he spent all of his life confined in his home with only sparse exposure to city. Most nobles didn't leave their homes until they reached adulthood. They spent their childhood inside their homes, playing in their large courtyard and entertaining themselves with the abundant toys and books that the best merchants in town would deliver right to their gates. With everything they ever needed right inside their gates, there was no reason to go outside.
Kyungsoo walks down the stony road and observes the landscape of the city, turning his head left and right and left again in an attempt to capture every part of the city and commit it all to memory. The houses here were smaller, he notes. They were a worn out gray, some on the verge of crumbling. The streets were wide with empty stalls around the corners. His eyes widen with fascination as the road branches off into multiple directions leaving him in awe with all the possibilities. This city was too grand for one simple midnight walk.
"Are you lost?" Kyungsoo's head shoots up to a mysterious deep voice only to see a boy, likely around his age but taller. Much taller. Kyungsoo's vision was hindered from the darkness but from what he could see, the boy had smooth, tanned skin that stretched over lean muscles and Kyungsoo had to admit, his face wasn't half bad either. He became increasingly aware of the differences between him and this boy and scowls to himself.
"No, I'm not lost." Kyungsoo responds with a hint of nostalgia and deja vu.
"Oh, I apologize. You look like you’re lost. Or scared." The stranger chuckles. Kyungsoo scowls because truthfully, he's been told this far too often.
"I’m not scared."
"It's the eyes." The stranger says jokingly at Kyungsoo's displeasure. He points at the smaller boy's eyes and widens his own for effect. "They're so big." After a closer inspection the taller boy's smile slowly drops and it throws Kyungsoo off guard. He takes a step back nervously as the other boy’s eyebrow furrow together and inspects Kyungsoo closely.
"W-what is it, why are you looking at me like that?" Kyungsoo says, bewildered.
"Kyungsoo." The boy whispers.
"How do you know my name?"
"It's actually you!" The stranger's smile reappears, this time even wider, except the friendly smile is now replaced with something more mischievous, making Kyungsoo feel like he was missing the punch line of a joke.
"Who are you?" Kyungsoo asks, confused.
"I'm Jongin. Do you remember me?" Kyungsoo's eyes widen in shock. Of course he remembered Jongin. He never forgot that day when he snuck out of his house as a child and consequently never forgot Jongin. He looks back at the boy more carefully, noticing the hooded eyes and playful smile that hasn't changed since that day eight years ago. It was undoubtedly him.
"Yes, I do actually. How do you still remember me?" He asks. For Kyungsoo, meeting Jongin was something he couldn't forget; that day had left a big impact on him. However Kyungsoo had thought that to Jongin, he was nothing more than an ordinary boy he had met by chance and decided to play with.
Jongin laughs again. "It's the eyes." Jongin says taking a step closer to Kyungsoo, the laughter dies down to a small smile as he holds his gaze with Kyungsoo's. They're only one small stride away from each other. They're too close for Kyungsoo's liking.
"What are you doing out this late?" Kyungsoo asks curiously.
"Work."
"What kind of work has to be done so late at night?" Kyungsoo asks suspiciously. As far as he knew, nothing good came from the night.
"Secret." Jongin smiles coyly and brings his index finger to his lips to emphasis the secrecy. Kyungsoo decides not to push it, since Jongin was after all, still a stranger to him.
"And what brings you here so late?" Jongin asks.
"Stress. I needed to get out of my house. I barely turned eighteen and my father already insists on teaching me everything there is to know about his job."
"Ah, I see. And your dad's job would be?"
"He's a lord, Jongin." Kyungsoo sighs, it was no easy job.
"Oh, you're the son of a lord? I knew you have that air of nobility around you." Jongin raises an eyebrow and smiles. He lifts Kyungsoo's chin up with a finger so their eyes meet. "Must be nice living in luxury, huh? Having people tend to your every need." Kyungsoo pulls away from Jongin's touch, annoyed.
"It's boring and stressful, actually." Kyungsoo deadpans.
"Yeah? Why don't you just quit. You can run away and be free." Jongin says. He looks at the other boy slyly and stretches his arms like a bird and pretends to fly around Kyungsoo, mimicking birds as they glide in the sky. He stops and looks back at older boy. "You can run away with me." He's got a smirk on his face and promise in his eyes and for a split second Kyungsoo actually wonders what it would be like to run away with this stranger before him. Something about Jongin reeled Kyungsoo in, he had a look that screamed recklessness and it was so, so inviting. However reality settles into Kyungsoo's skin and clears the pleasured visions of escape that clouds the noble's eyes. He glares at the taller boy then rolls his eyes. He turns around and begins to walk back home.
"Don't be so foolish, Jongin."
---
Kyungsoo makes it a habit to find Jongin sometime past nightfall. He refuses to admit that he is actually searching for the younger boy instead he eases his mind by reassuring himself that he simply enjoys taking walks at night. Of course the only thing enjoyable about the cool wind that pinched his skin and dark sky that nearly blinded his vision was Jongin. They don't stay together for long because Kyungsoo always catches Jongin before he heads off to his mysterious place of work. Jongin listens to all of Kyungsoo's complaints about work attentively and anything else that was on the noble's mind, while Kyungsoo slowly begins to unravel himself to the sun kissed stranger. Jongin, one the other hand, was a man of very few words. He was well spoken and handled his words with care. Every word uttered from those pretty lips of his held with meaning and importance.
"Tell me Kyungsoo, what would you want to be in the next life?" Jongin asks one day as they stroll through the city. Kyungsoo managed to catch the younger boy a little earlier than their usual late night walk tonight.
"I'm not sure, I don't know any life other than the one I am living right now." Kyungsoo replies. He wonders what it'd be like to live as a commoner; an average citizen in the city. He thinks about the struggles he'd face with survival and hard labor and he also thinks about Jongin. Maybe they'd spend more time together. They could have grown up to be best friends who sleep at each other's houses and play games outside in the neighborhood. He thinks it may have been a nice life to live. "What about you, Jongin, what would you do?"
"I would walk tightropes in a circus. I'd travel the world, never staying in one place too long." Jongin replies excitingly. His eyes are looking at the older boy while his mind is fantasizing about great new world. He inches closer to Kyungsoo and speaks in a hushed tone, as if this brand new world he has created is a secretive place for Kyungsoo only. "And you know what you would be? You would be the ringleader. The entire show is for you to command because I know you like control. You'd have the whole audience at your mercy. We'd create a magnificent show, Kyungsoo, you and I. A great show with plenty of bright lights and strange people."
Jongin’s whispers were almost seducing in the way they spoke of such a fantastical dream, painting alluring images of tightropes and hoops lit on fire. The images play in his head as if they were simple memories stored in his mind. Scenarios jumbling together about the life the two boys could have lived. He thinks about the sea of audience inside their big red tent, cheering for him and his team of disjointed freaks.
"Wouldn't it be awfully lonely to travel the world but have no place to call home?" Kyungsoo asks in an equally hushed tone, playing into all of Jongin's vivid dreams.
"And the life you're living right now isn't?"
"What makes you think I'm lonely?"
"You're always out at night looking for me."
---
Today was an important day. A day of utmost importance as Kyungsoo's father expressed. Today the lords and ladies of the city would meet in the royal castle to review city affairs and assure his majesty that the city is very much stable and safe. Kyungsoo is forced to tag along since he was now an adult in order to get an idea of what these meetings were like and more importantly to learn how to behave in the presence of royalty. As responsible and mature as Kyungsoo was he still felt like a child going into a meeting full of adults.
"Master, you're clothes are ready." A servant calls out, breaking Kyungsoo from his thoughts. He sighs inward and begins to tug on his clothes. He wears a pair of black trousers and pulls a dark maroon tunic over his head. It was embroidered at the hems of the sleeves with a careful stitching of black silk around the collar. He puts a thin gold chain around his neck but decides to tuck it in under his tunic. Jewellery was a necessity for nobles, after all you were worth as much as the rings cluttering your fingers or the chains wrapped around your neck. However Kyungsoo was never fond of them, it always felt as if they were weighing him down.
The trip to the castle is long and straining as Kyungsoo lived in the far west end of the city, opposite to the royal castle which was situated on the east. He spent his time staring out the window of the carriage, watching the fields of grass and hills roll by as they travel around the outskirts of the city until they reached more inland where the streets are littered with small houses and crowds of people. They begin to move slower at this point, stopping every so often for herds of animals or people to pass by. Kyungsoo props his elbow against the window and rests his head against his palm. His eyes start to feel heavy until something catches his attention. Of course it’s Jongin.
He was quite a distance away but Kyungsoo was undoubtedly sure it was him in front of a house which the noble can only assume was his own. He still knew very little about the boy. He watches the younger boy carry a load of fire wood to his house. His skin glistened from sweat as the sun beat down on his caramel body. Jongin tosses his dark hair back and lets his face bathe in the sunlight for a quick moment before grabbing another load of wood. The muscles of his arms flex from the heavy weight of the wood and he lets out a deep breath. He heads into his house with the wood and returns outside a moment later. He leans over a barrel of water and splashes his face with water until it dampens his hair and parts of his tunic. The younger boy pulls his shirt over his head then shakes his hair, showering the ground. His back is turned to Kyungsoo and the older boy couldn’t pull his eyes away from the Jongin’s lean, toned backside. He traces the careful lines of his back right down to his hips where his trousers hung dangerously low. He finds himself biting his lower lips unknowingly until Jongin turns around, eyes catching Kyungsoo’s gaze dead on. He raises a brow at the older boy with an easy smirk plastered across his face. He was well aware of Kyungsoo watching him. Completely flustered and annoyed by the younger boy's teasing, Kyungsoo quickly turns away from the window. His body feels like it’s on fire, his stomach is forming thick knots and his heart is beating too erratically. Kyungsoo doesn’t have to look at himself to know that his cheeks are dusted a cherry red.
He pays no attention to the meeting later that day, his mind a jumbled mess with thoughts of a certain sun kissed stranger. Replaying and repeating everything that is Jongin. Every hushed whisper, every easy smile and boisterous laugh.
---
When he sees Jongin the next day during their usual midnight walks, the younger boy has a wide grin on face. It wasn't the teasing kind that had become a trademark to him. It was a happy grin, stretched from one end to another with a pinch of excitement.
"Come Kyungsoo, I want to show you something." Jongin says. He grabs the older boy's hands and pulls him along. Kyungsoo obliges with a small hum and lets himself be dragged along the outskirts of the city. He feels nostalgia heavy on his chest as Jongin leads Kyungsoo down the road with their hands intertwined. Jongin's hand was warm against his and his smile still equally so. Kyungsoo can't stop the small smile that makes its way to his lips.
They reach the hills on the outskirts of the city. The tall grass whispers in the wind and tickles the noble's ankles. It was a calming sight, nothing but rolling hills as far as his eyes can see. Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo's hand to find a spot in the grass and lies down. Kyungsoo doesn't hesitate to do the same, finding a comfortable spot next to the younger boy. Jongin lets out a content sigh as his hand runs through the grass and finds its way back into Kyungsoo's, carefully interlacing their fingers.
"Aren't the stars beautiful?" Jongin asks, eyes fixated on the tiny twinkling lights littering the sky. Kyungsoo looks up at them in amazement. It was as if he was getting a good look at them for the first time. He hums in response, words stuck in his throat as he tries to take in the sight. There were so many stars, some in thick clusters, some shining brightly on their own; all mesmerizing against the velvelt backdrop. It was enticing the way the dark sky blanketed them endlessly, the way Kyungsoo felt like he could watch them forever and find no end.
"I've always been fond of the night sky, the way it goes on endlessly. I love the infinity in the stars." Kyungsoo says, speaking slow and almost drowsily. His shoulders and back relax onto the earth and his hand remains intertwined with Jongin's, their touch feels so heavy as if he can feel every crease and curve on his palm and fingers against him. He could stay like this for a long time, maybe forever.
"I've always found it a bit frightening the way the sky goes on forever. The vastness of the universe is scary. It goes on and on and Earth only feels smaller and smaller. Why does that make me feel so insignificant?" Jongin thinks aloud.
"The human ego is a fragile thing, that's why." Kyungsoo replies. Jongin chuckles at the response, his hand tightening his grip on Kyungsoo.
"Perhaps."
They lay on the grass in silence, the comfortable kind. Kyungsoo faintly wonders if Jongin had work tonight because they've never spent this much time together in one night. He safely assumes he doesn’t. He cranes his neck to the side to catch a glimpse of the taller boy through the tickling grass only to find that his eyes are peacefully shut. Tranquility smooths out the fine lines of his gentle face and, Kyungsoo wonders if he's fallen asleep by now. He feels a tad bit tired himself with his eyes suddenly heavy and beginning to flutter close. He's in a dream-like state, somewhere bordering between reality and his unconscious.
"Kyungsoo," Jongin whispers softly, still managing to jolt Kyungsoo firmly back into reality. He feels drowsy but hums in response, waiting for Jongin to continue. "Wouldn't it be great to go on the moon? We could find a comfortable spot to lie down on the moon and watch the Earth in the sky, stare back at all the people who stare up at the moon." Jongin lifts his hand up to the sky, squinting, he puts his index finger and thumb around the moon as if it were within his grasp.
"Don't be ridiculous. We can't go to the moon, there's no way up there." Kyungsoo says while yawning.
"Maybe one day there will be. Maybe I'll be the first man on the moon." Jongin says. Kyungsoo turns over to check for the glimpse of hope in Jongin's eyes. It's there. This is who Jongin was; a dreamer. Jongin was the stranger who'd runaway from this city, he was the circus man walking on dangerously thin tightropes, he was the man on the moon waving back at Earth. The bounds of reality didn't matter to a boy who lived in his dreams.
Kyungsoo wonders what life is really like for Jongin, why exactly was his reality not worth living. Kyungsoo wonders if this is why Jongin always came to him. Maybe Kyungsoo is trying to fend away his loneliness but Jongin is trying to fend away reality. Kyungsoo was his escape. Of course Jongin can contort whatever reality he pleased with Kyungsoo because when it came down to it, he knew nothing about Jongin. Kyungsoo kept Jongin's dreams alive and perhaps that's all Kyungsoo was to the boy he thinks to himself. A heavy feeling rises in his chest. Kyungsoo thinks it might be disappointment.
--
"Kyungsoo get dressed. We're going to go out tonight."
"I kindly decline." Kyungsoo replies, beginning to return to room. His friends were very much capable to escorting themselves out of his house.
"Kyungsoo, you're barely eighteen years old yet you appear closer thirty. At this rate, you'll die before your father." Chanyeol, one Kyungsoo's old childhood friends, teases while yanking the smaller boy back into the hall. He was a giant in the making who smiled too wide and talked far too loud. His attachment to Chanyeol from childhood is likely the only reason they're still close friends.
"It's true, Kyungsoo. I can already see the wrinkles you're getting from the stress." Says Baekhyun, Kyungsoo's other friend who was equally as obnoxious. Kyungsoo scowls at the two boys.
"Where exactly do you suggest we go then, to revive my youth?" Kyungsoo asks, raising his brow.
"An inn I came across a while ago. It's quite an interesting place if I do say so myself." Chanyeol replies with a mischievous smile.
"Some booze and women ought to do you some good." Baekhyun declares while putting an arm around Kyungsoo. He glares at the younger boy. "Kyungsoo, you're going." The last thing Kyungsoo wanted to do right now was get intoxicated only to deal with a pounding headache the morning after but he admits, he has been immensely stressed recently. Perhaps he needed to unwind. Moreover it's been a long time since he's spent time with his friends. He sighs out loud and retreats into his room.
"Give me a moment to get dressed."
A short time later, Kyungsoo finds himself in a bar hidden underneath of what had been an average looking inn. It was located in the west side, not far from his own estate but Kyungsoo still knew little of the city. The cold chill ran down the noble's spine warning him that this was a bad idea. Something about this hidden inn irked the boy but he pushes the feeling aside knowing it was likely irrational. A long spiral staircase took them down to the venue. Inns were typically for the sophisticated and wealthy but Kyungsoo has never had time to go to one until now, he admits this room has a nice ambience. Plenty of lamps were lit around the entire room to supply light to the underground tavern, hard wooden tables scattered around the room and lastly a bar on the far left side. The strong smell of alcohol and incense bombards Kyungsoo's nose making the boy scowl in displeasure. He liked the incense, it created a nice aroma to the otherwise musky underground room but he was never quite fond of the smell of alcohol. They take a seat on the table farther back and close to the staircase, “in case Kyungsoo decides to flee!” Chanyeol jokes loudly.
The room is filled with hearty laughter and drunken cheers. There was a crowd gathered around a table listening to the drunken tall tales someone was spurring on about, others sat by the bar and drank themselves wasted, however most people flirted themselves with the men and women who appeared to be working in the bar. The workers all wore a similar outfit of black trousers and tunics. The women wore minimal clothing generously exposing their curves while the men wore a similar attire, exposing lean muscles and toned bodies.
"Like what you see? You should go have some fun with them, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol says catching Kyungsoo's gaze. Kyungsoo can’t stop watching the way the sleazy old men here regard the workers with hungry eyes, some pulling them onto their lap as their hands explore the worker's bodies. Finally Kyungsoo understands. The workers here were prostitutes. It wasn't a surprise since it was common practice for most prostitutes to be around inns or alehouses. He scruffs at the taller boy, of course Chanyeol would take Kyungsoo to some whore house disguised as an inn. Baekhyun sits at the table with three pints of ale, the other two take their pint with a thanks. Chanyeol and Baekhyun slam their cups together in cheers and chug their drink down, Kyungsoo on the other hand reluctantly drinks his.
However one drink slowly turns into two, three, four until Kyungsoo loses count. He feels pleasantly buzzed, his shoulders slowly loosening up and nerves unwinding. He turns to his friends who were nothing short of obnoxious drunks at this point and laughs at their idiocy.
His mind drifts off into thoughts and he finds himself thinking about Jongin and how he wanted to go outside and meet him for their regular walks around the city, rather than be here. He wants to see the twinkle in Jongin's eyes and fall victim to more of his tempting fantasies. He wanted to feel the curious sensation of wholeness that he only seems to feel with the boy.
Kyungsoo furrows his brows in frustration, knowing not to get ahead of himself. To Jongin, Kyungsoo was merely a friend, if even that. He refused to delude himself with thoughts that the two of them shared something special. Kyungsoo shakes his head in hopes of ridding himself of all thoughts of the sun kissed stranger. Maybe Chanyeol was right, maybe he should find a woman. However a quick scan of the women in the room easily disappoints him; they were all beautiful but none of them seem to light the in him that Jongin seemed to effortlessly lit.
"Kyungsoo! It's your turn!" Baekhyun yells, holding up his empty glass for another round. Kyungsoo vaguely wonders if they've had enough to drink but discards the thought figuring that it would only be enough when his thoughts are free of Jongin. He gets up from the stool, holding on the table for support and wobbles towards the bar. He has little motor control making each step terribly uncoordinated. Kyungsoo looks around the tavern and tries to figure out how long he's been here for, noticing new faces in the crowd. His thoughts are cut short and when he recognizes a much too familiar face in crowd. Somewhere between the drunken men and the flickers of orange that illuminates the dark room, Kyungsoo catches a glimpse of Jongin and the sight almost makes the boy hurl. He watches Jongin on the lap of another man, twice his size and likely twice his age. The stranger grabs Jongin by the chin and pulls him close, a disgusting smile stretches across his face and the hungry look of lust fills his eyes. He whispers in the boy's ears while his other hand begins to snake up his leg and thigh settling on his ass. Jealousy, anger and arousal boils within Kyungsoo all at once but his thoughts were clouded in mostly confusion. Without hesitation or lack of self-control he walks up to the boy. There's a painful ache resonating from Kyungsoo's chest and he feels sick to the stomach.
"Jongin." Kyungsoo says, catching the other boy off guard. There's desperation in Kyungsoo's voice as if he was hoping for this not to be true. That this boy before him wasn't his Jongin. Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo and tears himself from the other man, quickly distancing himself from him. A closer look at Jongin now helps put the pieces together in Kyungsoo's mind. He recognizes the familiar black attire on Jongin that many of the other men and women wore. Oh.
"Kyungsoo--"
"I paid for him tonight, go find someone else." The old man slurs, cutting Jongin off. He grabs Jongin's arm and pulls him back. Kyungsoo glares at the older man in detest. He looked relatively wealthy like most of the people here, with rings and chains decorating his body. It disgusted him that this is how wealthy people wasted their money.
"Shut the hell up, old man." Jongin says darkly, anger laced in his words. He shakes off the man's hand and walks away from him, grabbing Kyungsoo along. Kyungsoo looks at the taller boy in confusion, he's sure Jongin wasn’t allowed to do that.
"Jongin, I--" Kyungsoo starts when they reach the other side of the room. He didn't know what to say, his previous actions had been purely on impulses. He looks at the younger boy who was only staring at the ground. Jongin held an air of confidence with him, he was always one step ahead of Kyungsoo as if everything was playing out how he wanted it to but this was different. Jongin looked equally confused, he barely looked like the boy Kyungsoo had gotten to know in the last few months.
"Kyungsoo!" Kyungsoo whips his head back to the voice in annoyance, it was Chanyeol. Chanyeol walks towards the two and slings an arm around Kyungsoo. "Kyungsoo, time to go. You can have fun with these whores another time." His words are slurred and unnecessarily loud. His breath reeks of alcohol and it only bothers Kyungsoo more. Kyungsoo catches it, the look of disappointment on Jongin’s face when Chanyeol uttered those cruel words but it’s quickly covered up with a face of indifference. He had half a mind to punch Chanyeol in the face but stops short.
"Goodbye, Kyungsoo." Jongin says with a petty smile before walking away. Kyungsoo wants to pull Jongin back because he still had so much to say, he wasn't quite sure what to say but there were words stuck in his throat that he was sure needed to be said. However his feet remained firmly planted to the ground, he couldn't bring himself to move.
He wasn’t not sure how but he manages to get back home some way or another. He doesn't remember the events that took place after Jongin left but he wakes up lying in bed. His head already began to ache but a look out the window told him it was still early in the morning. He stares into the darkness, eyes burning with fatigue but he didn't wanted to go back to sleep. Instead he decides to get out and get some fresh air. He stands on his balcony, his bare feet pressed against the cold floor and looks out at the view. It was just past dawn, Kyungsoo thinks as he spots a peak of light rising from the horizon. He looks out at the city beyond the gate of his home and wonders what Jongin was doing. Memories from last night muddle his mind and hurt his chest. He remembers the day he saw Jongin after his eighteenth birthday and the way Jongin looked that night; so mysterious and alluring. He remembers when the younger boy had told Kyungsoo to run away with him. The idea plays in his head, ever so tempting. He feels the same way he did that night. He wanted to leave his home and find Jongin. He wanted to take his hand and run away from this city.
He was becoming as delusional as Jongin. The noble sighs and head back into his room.
---
The next few days blur together and amount to nothing more than tired mornings, restless afternoons and lonely walks at night. Kyungsoo begins to get tired of waiting, tired enough to search for the boy. He searches the inn and the house he had earlier assumed was Jongin’s. He didn’t have time to wonder around the entire city searching for the boy but something told him he didn’t need to.
Jongin was gone.
It didn’t surprise Kyungsoo, not one bit. He expected nothing more of Jongin; Jongin the dreamer, Jongin the escapist. There were no more dreams for Jongin in this city and Kyungsoo couldn’t deny the aching feeling inside him that wondered why he wasn’t enough.
---
Somewhere in the depths of the night Kyungsoo finally makes it to his room after another gruelling day of work. He uses a lantern to guide himself through the dark halls of his house until he reaches his room. He couldn’t shake off the feeling of dreariness he seemed to feel every day. It leaves him tired to the bones yet constantly awake at night. It’s become habitual at this point and Kyungsoo thinks he spends more time yawning than speaking. He enters his room stretching his arms, his loud yawn quickly turning into a startled gasp when he spots a dark figure shadowed by the moonlight that filtered through the windows of his balcony. He quickly raises his lantern to the figure, only to see a familiar face.
“Jongin?” Kyungsoo whispers curiously. His mind is quickly flooded with too many questions as he tries to process the situation before him but he decides to start with the obvious. “How did you get in here?”
“I snuck in.” Jongin smiles while shrugging casually. He points towards the balcony which Kyungsoo only now notices is open. Kyungsoo’s not sure if that was enough of an explanation but he lets it go due to more pressing concerns that racked his mind.
“Your room is everything I imagined it to be; organized and delightfully boring.” Jongin says while his eyes scan the room. Kyungsoo glares at the younger boy but doesn’t bother with a retort because Jongin sadly spoke the truth. Compare to the other rooms in his house, his bedroom was dreadfully boring. He wasn’t interested in decorating; his room was practical. He cuts his thoughts short realizing that the interior design of his room was not important right now.
“What are you doing here, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks warily, afraid that an accusing tone may scare the boy away. It was late at night and his family was likely asleep but sneaking into Kyungsoo’s house was still risky. He tried not to worry about it though. He wasn’t going to let him get away this time. Jongin looks back at the noble and smiles, it’s mostly hidden from the dark but Kyungsoo catches it anyway.
“I missed you.”
Kyungsoo scruffs because it’s been one month. One month since he had last seen Jongin at the inn. Kyungsoo searched and searched for the boy only to come empty handed. Jongin left without a trace as if he were nothing more than a dream to the older boy. Jongin left Kyungsoo with all his fantasies that still tormented his head late at night and a sky full of stars that no longer seemed to shine as bright. Kyungsoo stares at Jongin as if he expected to see a change in the boy's appearance in their one month apart, finding nothing strikingly different. His hair may have grown a little longer but he still looked the same. Maybe the one month felt much longer to Kyungsoo than it should have. He walks closer to the boy, closing their distance with every slow stride. He grabs a handful of Jongin’s tunic, clutching onto the boy while his eyes retreat to the ground in annoyance.
“Yes, well I missed you too.” Kyungsoo replies begrudgingly. He hates that Jongin walks into his room unannounced a month later telling Kyungsoo he missed him. He especially hated the way the younger boy still made his heart beat so erratically as if it were threatening to beat out of his chest. Kyungsoo leans his head against Jongin’s chest and closes his eyes. He feels so comfortable like this leaning against the taller boy. He breathes a drawn-out sigh.
“Why did you leave?” Kyungsoo asks with a hint of desperation in his voice. Jongin doesn’t reply for a while, he brings his hand to the back of Kyungsoo’s neck and caresses gentle circles slowly soothing the older boy.
“I hated it, I hated everything about who I was.” Jongin spoke softly with defeat in his voice. “When I saw you at the inn, everything about my life became so glaringly real. I lived an awful life. So I ran away, I suppose it was something I’ve wanted to do for a while though.” It wasn’t anything Kyungsoo couldn’t guess already but it hurt none the less to hear it aloud.
“So why did you come back?” Kyungsoo asks, his words muffled against Jongin’s chest. He didn’t want to move, not yet.
“I missed you.” Jongin repeats. Kyungsoo smiles to himself, there was a warm feeling overcoming his body. It was so warm and comforting, seeping right down to his bones.
“I didn’t care, you know?” Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin now. He sets his lantern aside on his bedside table. Too many of Jongin’s features hid in the dark but he was close enough to lock eyes with the younger boy. “I didn’t care about your work. I don’t look down on you for it; you are no less of a person to me.” Jongin laughs quietly.
“That occurred to me while I was gone. I let myself think that my life should be kept a secret only because I was afraid you would think lowly of me if you knew the truth. In reality I just hated everything about the way I lived but I thought if you didn’t know about my life than maybe I could pretend it wasn’t real." Jongin sighs. "Running away didn't seem to work well though, not when I realized I still had one thing in my life I couldn't give up on."
Kyungsoo didn’t know how to reply instead he decides to pull the boy down into a kiss. He admits to thinking about kissing Jongin far too often, wanting only to feel those thick lips against his. Jongin smiles into the kiss and quickly presses against Kyungsoo. Jongin tastes sweet against Kyungsoo, he tastes like escape. It was better than anything he has ever imagined.
“What should I do now, Kyungsoo?” Jongin whispers in heavy breaths between their kisses. The older boy wasn’t sure if Jongin was referring to their present situation or towards their general situation but decides he knew the answer to both.
“Well, maybe tomorrow I can start helping you find a new job,” Kyungsoo starts. He safely assumes he is no longer invited to the inn after a month of disappearance. He smirks at the younger boy. “But right now, you’re coming to my bed.”
Jongin gladly obliges and pushes the older boy up on to the bed. He presses their lips together into a heated kiss and Kyungsoo thinks there is nothing more satisfying than the way Jongin's lips feel. Jongin's needy hands roam Kyungsoo and he lets them because he has been waiting much too long for this. He needed Jongin so desperately. The younger boy slips his hand underneath Kyungsoo’s tunic and rest at his hips. Kyungsoo cups the younger boy's face in his hands and kisses the younger boy back feverishly, feeling the heat pool to the pit of his belly. Their clothes hit the floor in between heavy breaths and breathy moans. Jongin latches his mouth to the older boy’s protruding collarbone, marking him in sweet red kisses that poka dot his pale skin. They work fast, work each other up fast because it only feels like seconds before Kyungsoo is searching through his drawer for some kind of oil for the younger boy. Jongin opens him up carefully with soft words and gentle caresses. He presses his finger inside Kyungsoo and kisses the pain away until he has three fingers pressed inside the boy. He removes the fingers making Kyungsoo gasp and lathers his erection with more oil before pressing inside the noble. The heat engulfs the younger boy, the rings of muscle clench around his needy erection making Jongin tip his head back in bliss. The younger boy moans loud, almost embarrassingly so. He thrusts into Kyungsoo until he’s a mess of moans, slurring an incoherent chain of pleasejonginyes. Jongin’s hands snakes around Kyungsoo’s erection working the boy to his climax. Jongin comes right after with Kyungsoo’s name on his lips. He collapses on the bed next to the noble.
Kyungsoo pulls him into a lazy kiss after the wake of their beautiful disaster, it was nothing short from dirty sheets and lazy smiles. He rests his head against Jongin’s chest, far too tired to clean up.
“Did you know when I was a child I could never fall asleep unless someone sang me a lullaby,” Kyungsoo whispers quietly, his eyes begin to flutter shut from fatigue but he smiles contently. “I think in another life, I would like to be a singer.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo thinks to himself, finding a place for Jongin in his world. “And you would be a dancer.”
“A dancer?” Jongin asks idly. He has a hand running through Kyungsoo’s hair slowly lulling the boy to a drowsy state.
“Have you seen your body? A dancer suits you fine.” Kyungsoo half jokes, raising a brow. Jongin was all lean toned muscles and long limbs, he would look elegant dancing.
“So would you sing for me when I dance?”
“Of course I would. We can travel the world together just singing and dancing for people. Jongin, the dancer and Kyungsoo, the singer, how does that sound?” Kyungsoo asks. He thinks it sounds lovely.
“It sounds wonderful but I think Kyungsoo, the son of a lord and Jongin, his secret lover sounds great too.” Kyungsoo laughs. He admits that it didn’t sound all too bad either.