(for bluedreaming) The Escapement Error - Part 1 of 3
For: bluedreaming
Title: The Escapement Error
Pairings: Kai/D.O, Chanyeol/Kai
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 21,320
Warnings: [Spoiler (click to open)]Sexual content, violence, voyeurism, mental illness, dub-con, character death
Summary: Kyungsoo lives systematically, obsessed with details and counting seconds, while Jongin, much to Kyungsoo's dismay, couldn't care less if he missed his train.
Author’s Note: fic based off of Nell's song Beautiful Stranger. i hope you like it!
Kyungsoo lives systematically. Punctually, rationally, and schedule-orientedly, and you'll never catch him lingering. He's like the 0s and 1s in computers: predictable, consistent, and repetitive. A definite pattern that lives for the sole purpose of being a pattern, but also the smaller part of a bigger function; a sequence that needs to stay the same in order for the world to go round without hitches and glitches, because one wrong move and he could mess up the system; he could be gone without a trace.
He starts his days at 6am exactly, on the second ring of his alarm. He can't let the third one sound or he'll be 1 second and 3 milliseconds late, which is 1 second and 3 milliseconds too much.
He then gets up and times his various morning tasks.
Brushing his teeth: 60 seconds
Getting dressed: 60 seconds
Combing and styling his hair: 60 seconds
Walking downstairs: 6 seconds (8 if his knee acts up)
Making toast and dipping it in milk for consumption: 180 seconds
He gives himself a couple seconds to look around and make sure that everything is neat and orderly. The more efficient he is, the better. He doesn't know what to do with spare or leftover time, because he doesn't plan for it; it'd muddle with his efficiency. Would he be the best IT technician for his company if he lived his life otherwise? Probably not. No, definitely not. Nobody is as dedicated as him, as efficient and undistracted.
At work it's the same thing. He divides his work hours up into perfect quarters and keeps count or at the very least a chronological overview of his time. First he takes care of customer complaints -blue screen errors mostly, though he does find the odd trojan or porn-related viruses to deal with as well- then he mods some laptops or motherboards to make everything more efficient, after which he takes a 15 minute lunch break that he spends slowly eating his desired baguette with just the right amount of mayonnaise while watching the woman who works next to him (Janette) struggle with upping the RAM of an old Alienware.
But Kyungsoo knows that his stringent and perfected systematic system is over when he one day meets someone that would make anyone really stop what they were doing in order to pay some attention.
He's at the train station to catch his usual train into work. It's the station that has that one faulty clock which is 2 minutes slow (he's sent a complaint about it to the government at least twice already; they really ought to care more) and he's standing in line behind someone at the ticket machine to get his daily pass for his ride (the one he takes at 7:01am that spends 22 to 25 minutes getting into town. He absolutely hates their inconsistency, and he's considering getting a car to travel on his own schedule, but traffic jams and car accidents pose more of a threat to his system than fluctuating train speeds and delayed stops at random stations because someone almost missed the train and wanted to get on) when the person in front of him turns around, and for the first time since he was 9, Kyungsoo forgets that he has somewhere he's supposed to be going and a clock that he's supposed to be following to the dot.
It's a young boy no older than 17. He can't figure out why this boy in particular interrupts his schedule, but he knows he can't move because the boy's face is something Kyungsoo's eyes feel like they need to be watching for as long as possible. He has a perfect-ratio face, but also messy, long, black hair and eyes that look tired from lack of sleep; his school uniform shirt only half tucked in and the pants too short for his legs.
He's not even wearing socks.
In short, he's Kyungsoo's worst nightmare. Kyungsoo would never associate with this kind of person on a normal day; it's clear that they don't care about how they spend their time and they're overly sloppy about it (most teenage boys fit under this category), but he doesn't remove himself from the situation and keeps staring instead, like he's never seen another human being in his life, and this is somewhat of a special encounter.
The boy sends him a shy smile, as if on cue. There was the leeway to their fated encounter. "Sorry, you don't happen to have a quarter, do you? I'm like one short from getting my stupid ticket this morning." A short chuckle follows.
Kyungsoo stares at him for a while longer, classifying his eyes in a colour chart he's seen at the optician's and judging the whiteness of his teeth by a mental image of the scales they have on the back of mass-made, cheapskate toothpastes.
"Yes, I have one," Kyungsoo finally replies, pulling out his wallet and fishing out a shiny coin. He gets all of his coins rinsed in of fear of bacterial contamination from outside sources.
He hands it to the boy, who breathes a sigh of relief and unexpectedly goes in for a hug from him, and though the hug is quick and not very intimate, Kyungsoo memorizes the press of his body up against his own, even through the boy's thick duffle coat that functions to ward off the chilly autumn air. It looks silly compared to his Chesterfield. Then again, the boy seems much younger than him, so he'll excuse it. In fact, it actually looks kind of endearing.
"Thanks, mister." The boy says in light spirits, and Kyungsoo gets the strong urge to smooth his his hair down because it looks unruly and like he's been sleeping bad or doing unsanitary things prior to arrival. He just gives him a curt nod.
By the time the boy has gotten his ticket and has run to catch his train, Kyungsoo realizes he was supposed to be on one that left 4 minutes ago.
*
He comes into work feeling nervous and sick, going over his schedule in his head to check where he's supposed to be.
He's 5 minutes late. 300 seconds. That's 300 seconds he was supposed to be spending on updating software that have been lost; completely evaporated into the space-time continuum. He has to sit at his desk and compose himself for a while with his palm flattened over his forehead. He rearranges the four clocks on his desk so that they look neater, and gradually he feels his heart rate decrease as he hears their little, perfectly-synchronized ticks.
To make up for the 300 seconds lost, he decides to skip lunch and upgrade some firmware after finishing with the fickle software that he feels takes up too many gigabytes to be necessary.
*
The next day, Kyungsoo makes up his mind to leave his house early. He plans his schedule an hour ahead (what's the harm in gaining more time in his day anyways?) and spends his entire breakfast-eating period thinking about yesterday, more specifically the boy who stole his 300 seconds as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
He stands ready at the train station with his right hand gripping his briefcase and his head turning sporadically (read: periodically) around to check if the high school boy with the duffle coat is there in any proximity to him.
The boy must be a new traveller, or Kyungsoo would have seen him before. Granted, he could have used another platform, or travelled later than Kyungsoo, but his ticket-purchasing skills make it seem like he's only just getting used to scraping up the right amount of money and buying his ticket at a time that will save him from running to catch his train. Not exactly on par with the others.
Kyungsoo’s extra hour is pretty extensive and useless, because the boy doesn't show up until 15 minutes before Kyungsoo's train is due to leave. It does give him enough time, however, to observe him and save little pieces of information in the back of his mind for later. Like how the boy is studying chemistry and English, and how his textbooks say his name is ‘Jongin’, which is quite a pretty name in the visual sense, as well as phonetically beautiful. He seems to be rushing to finish some of his homework, because he sits down on a bench and scribbles hastily in one of his books, the cap of his pen lodged between his teeth. Normally Kyungsoo would find that disgusting, but he's too distracted by observing Jongin's handwriting.
It's sloppy and cursive, the type lazy and rushed people have, and he almost laughs to himself because this boy is so unsalvageable. He's a messy, air-headed procrastinator, and he angers Kyungsoo beyond fathomable comprehension. He wants to step up to the boy and fix his tie, his hair, and his shoes (which are double knotted), then shake some sense into him and force him to write neatly and slowly across the page, touching the bottom of his letters perfectly to the line, as he should.
Then he'll buy him a punctual watch with an inbuilt alarm, because Jongin almost misses his train again, scrambling up from the bench and running for it with his scarf hanging halfway off his neck as if a plane pulling an advertisement banner through vast air.
Kyungsoo stares after him even when his train has left, wondering why he takes the train to school. Maybe it's far away. Maybe it's a private school. That would make a lot of sense, considering this Jongin has a school uniform, whereas most kids don't have a dress code to adhere to.
He still has 2 minutes until his own train leaves, and walks over to the bench Jongin sat on in to see if he can figure out anything more about him. He notices a chemistry textbook lying on the ground and picks it up, seeing Jongin's name scribbled on the front. The book is pristine enough, but one corner is bent and there are a few highlighter marks on the edges of the pages. Jongin has probably gotten highlighter on his fingers and then smudged it all around in carelessness while turning the pages. The thought makes Kyungsoo smile, a reaction quite uncommon for such an observation.
He takes the book with him to work, tucked carefully under the sanctuary of his arm.
*
The next day he comes early once again, knowing where Jongin appears this time, and he guards his bench with hawk eyes, having placed his book there carefully for him to find ‘by accident’.
Jongin comes running by 2 minutes before his train leaves, late again, and Kyungsoo watches as he stands impatiently behind the two men in front of him in line at the ticket machine, tapping his hand against his side in 4/4 time, the downbeat being the strongest and the 2nd and 4th offbeats weaker.
He's not wearing his coat today. Perhaps he forgot to grab it on his way out. He assumes Jongin walks or runs to the train station depending on his tardiness, because there is no sign of any car stopping nearby to drop him off, and so far he's made a pattern of arriving out of breath and bending over to catch it.
Jongin gets reprimanded for asking if he can cut in line because his train is leaving, and Kyungsoo watches him retreat defeatedly to the bench he usually sits on, checking his watch for the first time since he arrived. Kyungsoo gets an odd satisfaction from Jongin checking his watch. He checks his own as well, and it feels strange, but good strange, that a person he's been watching is checking his watch at the exact same time he is. It's like they're connected. They're watching the seconds pass by together and are interpreting the image of the watch hands to mean a time that has a significance to the both of them. But maybe Jongin's watch is a bit slow or a bit fast, and that unsettles Kyungsoo to a certain degree. He just wants to reach over and check, then maybe fix it if it's off (he better have a quartz), because more than he wants everyone to be on time and precise, he so specifically wants him and Jongin to be on the same schedule so that when he's lying awake at night staring at the ceiling at 2:34am, Jongin could be doing it too. Checking his watch for the time, just like Kyungsoo, and seeing the exact same numbers greeting him.
He forgets about that, however, when Jongin looks down at the bench and sees his textbook lying there, in the same condition as yesterday. A little smile spreads over Jongin's tired face, and Kyungsoo feels a swell in his heart at the little moment they're sharing.
He’d sported that smile too, and now he's making Jongin happy. He made him smile, and it feels good. It almost feels better than showing up to work on time and opening the doors at exactly 8am., then making sure the elevator is cleared so that he can spend the exact same amount of time up to his floor every day without having to stop. 24 seconds. Then half a second slower each year due to the wires being damaged from heavy loads being transported up. A few milliseconds of shift every week, all of which he calculates in.
When he realizes Jongin is going to take the same train as him because he missed his own, Kyungsoo feels summersaults being executed in his stomach by some unknown entity, and a slight pressure inhabit his chest. He makes his way over to his train and boards it right after Jongin, finding a seat behind him quickly before everyone piles in. Jongin is obviously distressed about missing his train, and slumps against the window with a sigh, pulling out his phone and texting someone named Chen that he's going to be late and that they have to do the presentation without him. He then puts his phone down for a bit to take a bite out of a muesli bar of some sort while opening one of his textbooks and flipping through it, before he glances at his phone and picks it up again to text 'Chanyeol', asking if he's free after school. Chanyeol replies with 'yeah', then a semi-colon and a bracket, and Kyungsoo supposes that's a good thing, because Jongin smiles as he puts his phone away for the last time.
Kyungsoo's train ride has never been so eventful. Usually he just zones out to the passing scenery, humming a little tune to himself in time to the track noises while planning which walkway to take to his building, but with Jongin sitting in front of him, he's endlessly entertained. He wants to map him out, in a way. He only really has himself completely mapped out, but he wants to figure Jongin's schedule out too and what makes him tick. He knows the margins of error he has to calculate Jongin's window of tardiness every morning, but what about his school schedule? How long does Jongin spend walking up stairs? Does he set aside time to take bathroom breaks? How does he wash his hands? What things does he like doing? What's the general consensus on his character? Is he the cut off the crusts on his sandwiches kind of boy or does he not care?
When they step off the train, Jongin seems to head towards the bus terminal, and Kyungsoo can only assume he's taking a bus out of town in another direction, the only alternative to his missed train unless he wants to wait around for hours.
*
He makes a habit of observing Jongin. It's crazy how he finally feels like his days amount to something, rather than just endless repetition. Not that he minds repetition; in fact, he loves it, thrives off of it even, but now he gets to study someone else's repetition alongside his own, and it's almost an adrenaline rush.
Jongin lives in mostly 5 minute intervals. Kyungsoo's more of a 1 minute man himself, because it's much more efficient. If you think about it, 5 minutes is a little too long to be doing anything, while 1 minute lets you do said task to maximum efficiency, with 0 time wasted. Kyungsoo made a case study of it a couple years ago by scrutinizing his morning routine. Jongin probably sticks to 5-ish minutes because he does things slower and it's easy to spot on the clock when the time has passed. Then there's also the famous saying 'take 5', which is exactly what he'd use to describe Jongin's life. Jongin takes 5 a lot.
Sometimes he just wants to grab Jongin by the shoulders and shake him and tell him that time and efficiency matter. If a split second can be what saves you from a fatal car accident, why don't more people count their seconds more carefully? Jongin is over-frivolous with his; they just pile up and go to waste, and it's saddening.
Other than that, Jongin likes Coldplay and he eats in secret. Kyungsoo knows this because he can see the artist name on his phone screen and even overhear the music from his headphones sometimes, and whenever Jongin eats he eats quick, always little chocolate bars or something of the like that he's stashed away in a cramped side-pocket of his backpack. Then he looks around himself guiltily, like someone will chastise him for cramming them in his mouth.
Jongin is also an easily distracted person. One of his bad habits is stopping in the middle of whatever he's doing to check his phone, usually to text people or reply to texts, and he seems to have a lot of friends. Kyungsoo doesn't understand the appeal; he doesn't have a phone bill because he has nobody to communicate with. Not even his mother wants to say hello. He supposes he could try to make a 'friend' at work, but friends are so much effort and they're completely spontaneous and unreliable. A person he talked to a few times once back in school called him one night and asked him if he could bring alcohol to a party. When Kyungsoo didn't reply because he didn't care enough, he was ostracized by most of his classmates the next day, getting weird looks from all around. Even in college after people came by his dorm, they usually didn't return or come within 50 feet of him.
*
"So, Kyungsoo, you got any plans for the long weekend? Not that I expect you to have any," Sehun says with a chuckle, sipping his scalding coffee while staring down at Kyungsoo from his casual stance next to his desk. The guys at work always make fun of him. Mostly for not getting laid or having any romantic company whatsoever, and Sehun is especially bad.
"I do, actually," Kyungsoo retorts, tightening his hands into fists. Sehun is interrupting his schedule and he doesn't like it. He always does that, but he's too hard to just ignore because his voice and presence are so persistent.
"Oh really?" Sehun says, taken aback, but only for a millisecond. "What is it? You're going to go to the store to get an apple at noon?"
Kyungsoo doesn't take the bait. Instead, he just lays down his pencil carefully (making sure it's parallel to his keyboard) and says, "I'm going to take my boyfriend to the movies, actually."
Sehun's eyebrows raise quite a significant amount, and he stops stirring his coffee by swishing it around. "Boyfriend, huh? Damn, it's about time you got someone." He pauses briefly, before he asks, "So, what movie are you seeing?"
Kyungsoo knows he's caught now, because he has no idea what's airing in the cinemas and he doesn't particularly care.
"I don't know yet. A good one."
"Alright," Sehun says, laughing. Some of the other guys are listening in on their conversation and he catches Sehun sharing looks with them. For some reason it really irks Kyungsoo today that Sehun doesn't believe him. That they all think he's crazy.
"Do you want to see a picture of him?" He asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and finding a picture he took of Jongin while he was waiting for the train. He looks so beautiful in it, his hair tucked behind his ear and everything. Then again, he looks beautiful all the time.
"Why isn't he looking at you?" Sehun asks, but takes Kyungsoo's phone nonetheless to get a closer look.
"He's camera shy," Kyungsoo reasons. For some reason he imagines Jongin would be.
"He's pretty cute, I'll give you that. Let me know when he gets tired of your neurotic ass so that I can try him, yeah?"
Kyungsoo yanks his phone back protectively, perhaps going a little hard on the force.
"I don't appreciate you talking about my boyfriend that way."
"Geez, lighten up, buddy; I was just joking!" Sehun says boisterously, but Kyungsoo knows he wasn't. "He doesn't look that legal, though. Are you messing with kids now, Kyungsoo? It might be hot, you know, the idea of taking a little virgin and guiding them through their first time, but trust me on this one: it's very, very illegal."
"I'm not. He's seventeen," Kyungsoo says, scrunching up his nose. "And we haven't even done that yet."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Sehun exclaims while rolling his eyes. "Him to jump on another dick?"
Kyungsoo gets up to go to the bathroom then, quite angrily, leaving Sehun and his inappropriate comments behind because he's too riled up to stay in his presence for 1 more minute. He doesn't come out for at least 10 minutes because he's seething. He doesn't want anyone else looking at his Jongin the way Sehun looked at him. Ever.
After the seething dissipates, his thoughts wander back to what Sehun said and he finds himself involuntarily picturing Jongin taking off his school uniform while looking utterly delectable. He starts sweating, because thoughts like that aren't like him and it feels overwhelming. He doesn't know what's coming over him, but the sight really is something to behold and he feels himself getting hard while imaginary Jongin says dirty things to him like "please, take me" or "ravish me" or Kyungsoo's name in a needy, breathy manner, over and over again.
He gives in and masturbates for the first time in his life in that cubicle, following his natural instinct of wanting pressure on his dick and his mind wanting that pressure and tightness to be Jongin. He might have done it once or twice before, but this is the first time he reaches climax, and he comes all over his clammy hand while staring at Jongin's beautiful picture on his phone, breathing hard and heavy because his stamina is so terrible.
He doesn't know how many seconds he is behind schedule now.
*
Jongin is swinging his leg in a filipendulous manner over the bench, lying awkwardly with his upper body flat on the wooden surface while holding a textbook above his head. He always fidgets and moves around, and Kyungsoo notes down in his head when he does what type of movement.
Talking to his mom on the phone is constantly rolling his head back and biting his lips, because she's annoying and persistent and it drives Jongin nuts. Waiting for the train to arrive when he has nothing else to distract himself with is switching positions all the time and pretending to be doing things so that he doesn't look awkward. When Jongin is sad he normally sits still and pouts while listening to music (Coldplay), and he seems to lose touch with reality, because it's made him miss his train twice so far.
Talking to his friend Chanyeol is complicated. Jongin has all kinds of movements and ticks for that. Mostly he just sort of--
"But can't you pick me up?" He hears Jongin ask, a sense of desperation in his voice. He's biting at his nails while talking on the phone. "Chanyeol--" he quietens then, abruptly. The person on the other end is probably speaking, and he watches Jongin's expression turn sullen. "I just miss you..." Kyungsoo hears, and thinks the conversation is a bit too deep to be friendly. The thought is unsettling, and he doesn't want to linger on it. It's hard not to, though, when Jongin says, "What do you mean turn around?" And then turns himself around in a half-hearted pirouette, only to almost drop his phone and jaw because there's someone standing there a little way behind him, and Kyungsoo follows Jongin's line of vision to what's making him lose it.
It's another boy, but he's much taller, and he's wearing a tattered snapback, a smile on him so wide that it could almost read like he's about to psychotically murder someone. He has big ears and big eyes and Kyungsoo feels severely underwhelmed that this is the Chanyeol Jongin is constantly talking to.
"Channie..." Jongin says, and it's a weird moment for Kyungsoo, to watch his boy's eyes light up with bouts of emotion. It sinks in for him then, what he'd hoped wasn't true all along.
Jongin almost jumps off the bench -leaving all his valuables and belongings behind- and sprints forward to this person, only to then jump into their arms and get a big, long kiss.
Kyungsoo feels nauseous. There's foreign skin touching Jongin; foreign hands. Every second he's in Chanyeol's arms he'll probably start smelling more and more like him and less like himself. It's so nauseatingly creepy.
Chanyeol has big hands and they're squeezing tight around Jongin's waist like the claws of a Tauren Horde. He's closing his eyes because Jongin's lips probably feel like heaven, and soon Jongin will taste of him too. Kyungsoo feels so unsettled by how contaminated he'll be with this other person, this person who he has a little fixation on. He's so unsettled.
He decides to devise a plan to get Jongin out of the unnecessary contact with another human, looking over at the bench with Jongin's stuff on it. He walks over quietly and picks up one of Jongin's things, then starts panting so that he sounds out of breath while he jogs up to the kissing couple.
Jongin and Chanyeol break apart. They both look at him.
"I saw you left your stuff back at that bench," Kyungsoo says, feeling high but also nervous about talking to Jongin for the second time. He wonders if he remembers him. He can't look him in the eyes this time, however. Jongin's gaze is too magical and he's too nervous. "Some kids came by and took your phone, but I got it back for you before they could go anywhere."
Jongin covers his mouth with his hands, then gratefully takes the phone Kyungsoo holds out to him.
"O-oh my god, I'm so stupid, I-- thank you." Jongin hurries back over to the bench to check that nothing else had been stolen, gathering his stuff back up and putting his jacket on.
"Dude, thank you. Really," Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo regretfully remembers that he's still there. Chanyeol quickly pulls out his wallet from his back pocket -an old, dusty, leather one- and flips through some bills after licking his thumb. "Jongin is very grateful to you."
Don't tell me how Jongin feels.
"Oh no, it's alright," Kyungsoo dismisses, refusing to take the money Chanyeol yanks out to hand him. He gets offended, because Chanyeol is a fucking kid with an allowance and Kyungsoo is a much older man with a good job and absolutely no need for small pickings. He mumbles, "I'm sure my net worth is quadruple yours already," and he's not sure if Chanyeol hears him or not, but he's thinking yes, because when he walks away the boy looks lost for words, fickle 10 dollar bills flickering from the wind in his hold.
*
Kyungsoo has to start integrating Chanyeol into his observations now. Not out of curiosity, but out of necessity. He realizes that Jongin spends most of his free time with him when he starts following them around to get a feel for their routines.
Jongin goes to a private school on the west side of town because his mother is neurotic about him becoming associated with bad people, and he's heard her yelling over Jongin's phone that public school is 'a place where the scum of the earth go to fester together and ruin their lives', which consequently means she isn't the biggest fan of Chanyeol, seeing as Jongin met Chanyeol when he was still in public school. Chanyeol lives a long bus ride away from the train station, up a hill and kind of in the middle of nowhere (at least from what Kyungsoo saw when he hopped on the bus with them once).
Jongin goes to his house a lot. He assumes Chanyeol's parents aren't home much, because on the bus Chanyeol always tells Jongin in a hushed voice what sexual things he's going to do to him when they get home, including but not limited to: throwing him over the counter and having him in the kitchen, bathing him and fingering him in the tub, and also eating him out until he falls asleep. Whether Chanyeol actually does any of this debauchery is uncertain, because what seemed like sloppy procrastination habits on Jongin's part, Kyungsoo finds out, is really just Jongin having an unbearable amount of homework, since apparently private schools like to work their students to the grave, and so he doubts Jongin ever lounges around and does nothing at Chanyeol's house. Jongin also never replies when Chanyeol says things like that; he only blushes, and a part of Kyungsoo is very satisfied that Jongin is still bashful and shy despite what his boyfriend may or may not be doing to him. Maybe it's all talk and no action, which would be ideal.
He decides to investigate further. It's a Tuesday and he leaves work early to catch Jongin on his way home at the train station before he leaves. Chanyeol comes to pick him up via the bus on Tuesdays, and Kyungsoo follows them. Not that they would ever notice, because nobody notices him. He's a very forgettable face and silent presence; he barely breathes because he's so concentrated. He watches Jongin and Chanyeol play some sort of bird game on a phone, laughing together and arguing about how to best approach the challenge. The bus ride ends with Chanyeol massaging Jongin's neck gently with his fingers and Jongin practically sleeping on the taller's shoulder. Joke's on Chanyeol, because Kyungsoo has seen Jongin sleep a million times while waiting for or missing the train. A million times more than he has. A million times with a million observations and thoughts; he's never let a second go to waste. And here Chanyeol is, not even looking at him. He'd spit on the floor in disgust if he could, but he fears it would make noise.
The giant rouses Jongin when the bus halts at the last stop, dragging him off, and Kyungsoo follows a little stretch behind them, still holding his briefcase and wearing his suit. It might look odd, him being there, but he suspects both lovebirds upfront are too wrapped up in each other to notice anyways. Or at least Chanyeol is, Kyungsoo doesn't see how Jongin can even like the other boy. He doesn't improve him in any way. He doesn't make Jongin a better person or pose any advantage to how he lives. Kyungsoo would be ideal. He hardly does anything but think about improving people, and he hates to watch Jongin waste away with a temporary replacement that still picks his nose in public.
They walk for about fifteen minutes until he sees Jongin and his boyfriend turn in to a house in a little, clustered neighbourhood. It's a small house and Kyungsoo approaches cautiously, counting the time it would take for both of them to take off their clothes and go upstairs before he approaches the door and checks it.
Unlocked. Well, it looks like Chanyeol is careless, and Kyungsoo will reap the benefits.
He enters, careful to take off his shoes as well, and listens for their voices, which come loudly from upstairs, accompanied by a few crashing sounds and laughter. Does he investigate or does he give in to his selfish desires and observe? He's been planning on finding out more about Chanyeol and his relationship with Jongin, and he's pretty sure that won't happen with him just shadowing after them. He needs substantial evidence.
He goes with his intuition this time, instead of his reasoning, and he doubts he'll get much profit from it, but his legs seem to be moving all on their own, off with his shoes and up the stairs one slow step at a time, making sure to figure out which ones creek before they do.
He makes it to the room Jongin and the other boy are in, faced with an ajar door and lewd sight which he most definitely had not been anticipating. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
A part of him wants this; wants to see it, but another part of him, the jealous part, the little green goblin, wants to stop it immediately. He ends up just standing still, watching and listening.
Jongin is naked and on his back, legs wrapped around Chanyeol's waist. He's full. Filled.
"You look so beautiful like this," he hears Chanyeol breathe into Jongin's mouth, looking down at the boy like he's a miracle of nature or a little seedling from an angel above planted to blossom into a second sun. And Kyungsoo concurs; Jongin really does look amazing with his blissed out expression from taking someone else in, his face sweaty and lips swollen and eyes as unfocused as the rest of him, only submitting to the overbearing pleasure he's so tellingly feeling.
A drawn out whine can be heard when Chanyeol starts moving, and Kyungsoo feels it running down his spine and out to the tip of his shaft, until he realizes he's standing there tall and proud and stiff.
But Kyungsoo's not one to get carried away. Sure, he really wants to do unspeakable things to Jongin right now and feel the sweet relief of coming to the sound of his voice and naked image, but he's there for a purpose, and his mind and body are always aware of that, of purposes and plans. There's also a small part of him that would love to sink an axe or something of the like into Chanyeol's stupid skull, but that's silly. He just has to keep moving.
He walks away from the open door to the harmony of grunts and moans, ignoring the tent in his pants while zeroing in on what he really wants out of his visit to Chanyeol's house. To be honest, he wished they were at Jongin's house instead; he's the reason Kyungsoo cares at all, the one he wants to learn about. But Chanyeol is in Jongin's life, so he supposes by default he should care about him too. Not as a person, but as a prop; a side-character in Jongin's lovely story.
He stumbles into Chanyeol's messy bathroom, looking around, before he sees what he's been looking for and grabs it, lodging the bottle of cologne into his briefcase. It looks vile. Chanyeol really is too much.
He heads for his second destination, which he finds to be down in the living room, where a laptop stands proudly on the coffee table in front of the TV. It's an old Dell with an i3 Intel processor, and it's asleep until Kyungsoo touches to mouse pad in order to rouse it to life. The fan starts up and the black screen shows a plethora of running programs and open windows, most of which make Kyungsoo grimace because of their nature. Illegal pirating software, DVD ripping software, multiple internet browsers, and about five different folders worth of music.
He does a quick search for .jpg, .png, .avi, .mov, and .MP4, and gets a long list of pictures and videos, all of which he takes the liberty to browse through. The pictures are everything from what looks like Chanyeol's desired cars to specially customized MMORPG characters (a lot of them being elves with big breasts). There aren't that many video files, but the ones that do exist have Jongin in the thumbnail. He clicks through all of them, and they're mostly Jongin laughing at Chanyeol's bad jokes or the two of them doing something stupid together like sliding down the slide at a random playground for no reason. There's one, however, which starts off in darkness and then has Chanyeol placing the camera onto some form of elevation that points to the bed, where Jongin is sitting nervously, donning a big t-shirt. He realizes he's found his way to a filmed sex act when Chanyeol starts undressing Jongin and saying things to him that only barely get picked up in the audio, but very clearly turn the boy on (he's completely red in the face and whimpering like a hurt animal).
Kyungsoo watches it 5 times. It's pretty short, but interesting. He memorizes it, and when he's finished, he repeats the dialogue in his head, then out loud. Very interesting.
He doesn't get to look at either Chanyeol's documents or audio files before he hears a creaking of the top stair, signifying a coming descent. He leaves the laptop, walking briskly to hide against a wall with ugly tapestry when he sees Jongin and Chanyeol enter the kitchen, the shorter of the two whining about being hungry and clinging to the lanky one.
He hears Chanyeol groan while pulling out his phone from his pocket and flinging it onto the dresser in the hall, then flops down on one of the chairs around the kitchen table, a table which is definitely too small to accommodate him, because his knees barely fit under it.
And that, that's what Kyungsoo wants. The phone. His phone. Kyungsoo wants that.
All the talk in the background is just white noise as Kyungsoo slinks himself around the back of the wall walk along the corridor that leads to the foyer, picking up the phone quietly on his way out, along with some card that was lying haphazardly next to it.
It's a big android with 3G and a decent camera, and he clicks through all the pictures in the 'Jongin' folder to the steps of his walk. There are enough to get him all the way back to the bus and three extra steps to plop down into a free seat.
The card he picked up turns out to be Jongin's student card, which he spends his whole trip staring at and stroking, sad that it was left somewhere as gross as Chanyeol's house, and so carelessly on top of everything.
*
Kyungsoo is bad at making food. He's so terribly bad, but he has to learn, because he has a date with Jongin, and it has to be no less than perfect. Except all the dust and mess in his apartment frustrates him. He knows it's there, but he doesn't want to vacuum or tidy in case he loses something. He has things neatly piled up and organized, but when there's no more space for his things he's had to place them on the floor or in cupboards, and he doesn't dare knock them over with a mop.
He makes spaghetti bolognaise, because it's the only thing he knows how to make, and shoves everything off his dining table to make space for a very Lady and the Tramp inspired table cloth and dinner set. He props Jongin up against the chair across from his, asking him how big of a portion he wants, because honestly, Kyungsoo has a tendency to serve more than necessary, just so that his cooking pot gets completely emptied. But he can't do that with Jongin; he has to learn moderation and being considerate. And he can't feed him the ready meals he always eats; then Jongin would probably get tired of him real quick.
Jongin looks so sad staring at him from the Super AMOLED display, but it was the only Jongin that Kyungsoo could find who didn't stare him right in the face, because for some reason he's feeling a tad self-conscious.
"How's dinner?"
He scrapes his fork down in his bowl, clearing it of sauce and remaining food. It makes a squeaky noise against the glazed ceramic. He eats a little fast, and he should probably slow it down, because it's unbecoming for both his schedule and gentlemanly appearance. It's because he's so nervous. He wants it to be perfect.
Kyungsoo spends two hours playing World of Warcraft to calm himself down, simply leaving their dinner on the table because he doesn't want to get sticky from touching the food to wash up. The constant food smell is a bit disgusting, but he just can't face Jongin again like this; sweaty and nervous and lost for words. He has to complete some more quests with his mage first.
*
Hey, he texts Jongin from Chanyeol's phone, having studied their texting patterns all night. He's at the train station at the wee hours of morning, and watches Jongin reach for his phone to open his message, only to smile and start typing back.
Hey :)
Kyungsoo isn't too sure what to send next. Chanyeol sends Jongin a lot of messages, and their conversations go in all sorts of directions depending on how they play it out, but trying them himself is suddenly so hard.
Kyungsoo's fingers slip and he sends You look beautiful today, which has Jongin looking up from his phone, probably thinking Chanyeol might have showed up behind him once again. Kyungsoo sinks further behind the pillar he's watching Jongin from, and finally the boy gives up, confused.
How do you know?
I don't. But how else would you look?
There it is; a really big, pretty smile stretching over Jongin's lips. He lives for that smile. And he's put it there again. He pats himself on the back mentally, clutching the phone tight and typing a new message.
I'll miss you at school today, baby.
Chanyeol always calls Jongin 'baby'. It's a shame, because Jongin's name is really pretty, but he supposes it's something he should conform to. Jongin is a bit of a baby, though. It's fitting in its own right. It works.
I'll miss you too. I miss you already...
Jongin is really cute. He's even sitting over there on the bench, moping by himself, pout on parade. Then he types another message, slowly, before leaning his head down against the bench.
See you tonight <3
Kyungsoo grimaces, feeling his chest tighten in fear. His fingers shake as he types his next message.
I can't see you today. I'm busy, sorry.
Oh :(
Jongin's face is fallen, and Kyungsoo feels his heart hurt. He wants to hold him and tell him everything will be alright, but he can't let Chanyeol ruin this; not when he's gotten so far. If they find out his phone is gone it's game over.
I love you so much
Jongin's eyes widen and he almost looks winded where he sits for a little while, looking at the text he just got. Kyungsoo feels a lump form in his throat. Maybe they haven't said that to each other yet and he's going too fast to be authentic. He isn't too sure how long they've been together, but he really ought to check Chanyeol's calendar. A few seconds later, however, Jongin grins to himself like a little schoolgirl, fingers playing with the corners of one of his textbooks. Ah, so that's why they're like that.
I love you too!!
( Part Two )
Title: The Escapement Error
Pairings: Kai/D.O, Chanyeol/Kai
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 21,320
Warnings: [Spoiler (click to open)]Sexual content, violence, voyeurism, mental illness, dub-con, character death
Summary: Kyungsoo lives systematically, obsessed with details and counting seconds, while Jongin, much to Kyungsoo's dismay, couldn't care less if he missed his train.
Author’s Note: fic based off of Nell's song Beautiful Stranger. i hope you like it!
Kyungsoo lives systematically. Punctually, rationally, and schedule-orientedly, and you'll never catch him lingering. He's like the 0s and 1s in computers: predictable, consistent, and repetitive. A definite pattern that lives for the sole purpose of being a pattern, but also the smaller part of a bigger function; a sequence that needs to stay the same in order for the world to go round without hitches and glitches, because one wrong move and he could mess up the system; he could be gone without a trace.
He starts his days at 6am exactly, on the second ring of his alarm. He can't let the third one sound or he'll be 1 second and 3 milliseconds late, which is 1 second and 3 milliseconds too much.
He then gets up and times his various morning tasks.
Brushing his teeth: 60 seconds
Getting dressed: 60 seconds
Combing and styling his hair: 60 seconds
Walking downstairs: 6 seconds (8 if his knee acts up)
Making toast and dipping it in milk for consumption: 180 seconds
He gives himself a couple seconds to look around and make sure that everything is neat and orderly. The more efficient he is, the better. He doesn't know what to do with spare or leftover time, because he doesn't plan for it; it'd muddle with his efficiency. Would he be the best IT technician for his company if he lived his life otherwise? Probably not. No, definitely not. Nobody is as dedicated as him, as efficient and undistracted.
At work it's the same thing. He divides his work hours up into perfect quarters and keeps count or at the very least a chronological overview of his time. First he takes care of customer complaints -blue screen errors mostly, though he does find the odd trojan or porn-related viruses to deal with as well- then he mods some laptops or motherboards to make everything more efficient, after which he takes a 15 minute lunch break that he spends slowly eating his desired baguette with just the right amount of mayonnaise while watching the woman who works next to him (Janette) struggle with upping the RAM of an old Alienware.
But Kyungsoo knows that his stringent and perfected systematic system is over when he one day meets someone that would make anyone really stop what they were doing in order to pay some attention.
He's at the train station to catch his usual train into work. It's the station that has that one faulty clock which is 2 minutes slow (he's sent a complaint about it to the government at least twice already; they really ought to care more) and he's standing in line behind someone at the ticket machine to get his daily pass for his ride (the one he takes at 7:01am that spends 22 to 25 minutes getting into town. He absolutely hates their inconsistency, and he's considering getting a car to travel on his own schedule, but traffic jams and car accidents pose more of a threat to his system than fluctuating train speeds and delayed stops at random stations because someone almost missed the train and wanted to get on) when the person in front of him turns around, and for the first time since he was 9, Kyungsoo forgets that he has somewhere he's supposed to be going and a clock that he's supposed to be following to the dot.
It's a young boy no older than 17. He can't figure out why this boy in particular interrupts his schedule, but he knows he can't move because the boy's face is something Kyungsoo's eyes feel like they need to be watching for as long as possible. He has a perfect-ratio face, but also messy, long, black hair and eyes that look tired from lack of sleep; his school uniform shirt only half tucked in and the pants too short for his legs.
He's not even wearing socks.
In short, he's Kyungsoo's worst nightmare. Kyungsoo would never associate with this kind of person on a normal day; it's clear that they don't care about how they spend their time and they're overly sloppy about it (most teenage boys fit under this category), but he doesn't remove himself from the situation and keeps staring instead, like he's never seen another human being in his life, and this is somewhat of a special encounter.
The boy sends him a shy smile, as if on cue. There was the leeway to their fated encounter. "Sorry, you don't happen to have a quarter, do you? I'm like one short from getting my stupid ticket this morning." A short chuckle follows.
Kyungsoo stares at him for a while longer, classifying his eyes in a colour chart he's seen at the optician's and judging the whiteness of his teeth by a mental image of the scales they have on the back of mass-made, cheapskate toothpastes.
"Yes, I have one," Kyungsoo finally replies, pulling out his wallet and fishing out a shiny coin. He gets all of his coins rinsed in of fear of bacterial contamination from outside sources.
He hands it to the boy, who breathes a sigh of relief and unexpectedly goes in for a hug from him, and though the hug is quick and not very intimate, Kyungsoo memorizes the press of his body up against his own, even through the boy's thick duffle coat that functions to ward off the chilly autumn air. It looks silly compared to his Chesterfield. Then again, the boy seems much younger than him, so he'll excuse it. In fact, it actually looks kind of endearing.
"Thanks, mister." The boy says in light spirits, and Kyungsoo gets the strong urge to smooth his his hair down because it looks unruly and like he's been sleeping bad or doing unsanitary things prior to arrival. He just gives him a curt nod.
By the time the boy has gotten his ticket and has run to catch his train, Kyungsoo realizes he was supposed to be on one that left 4 minutes ago.
*
He comes into work feeling nervous and sick, going over his schedule in his head to check where he's supposed to be.
He's 5 minutes late. 300 seconds. That's 300 seconds he was supposed to be spending on updating software that have been lost; completely evaporated into the space-time continuum. He has to sit at his desk and compose himself for a while with his palm flattened over his forehead. He rearranges the four clocks on his desk so that they look neater, and gradually he feels his heart rate decrease as he hears their little, perfectly-synchronized ticks.
To make up for the 300 seconds lost, he decides to skip lunch and upgrade some firmware after finishing with the fickle software that he feels takes up too many gigabytes to be necessary.
*
The next day, Kyungsoo makes up his mind to leave his house early. He plans his schedule an hour ahead (what's the harm in gaining more time in his day anyways?) and spends his entire breakfast-eating period thinking about yesterday, more specifically the boy who stole his 300 seconds as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
He stands ready at the train station with his right hand gripping his briefcase and his head turning sporadically (read: periodically) around to check if the high school boy with the duffle coat is there in any proximity to him.
The boy must be a new traveller, or Kyungsoo would have seen him before. Granted, he could have used another platform, or travelled later than Kyungsoo, but his ticket-purchasing skills make it seem like he's only just getting used to scraping up the right amount of money and buying his ticket at a time that will save him from running to catch his train. Not exactly on par with the others.
Kyungsoo’s extra hour is pretty extensive and useless, because the boy doesn't show up until 15 minutes before Kyungsoo's train is due to leave. It does give him enough time, however, to observe him and save little pieces of information in the back of his mind for later. Like how the boy is studying chemistry and English, and how his textbooks say his name is ‘Jongin’, which is quite a pretty name in the visual sense, as well as phonetically beautiful. He seems to be rushing to finish some of his homework, because he sits down on a bench and scribbles hastily in one of his books, the cap of his pen lodged between his teeth. Normally Kyungsoo would find that disgusting, but he's too distracted by observing Jongin's handwriting.
It's sloppy and cursive, the type lazy and rushed people have, and he almost laughs to himself because this boy is so unsalvageable. He's a messy, air-headed procrastinator, and he angers Kyungsoo beyond fathomable comprehension. He wants to step up to the boy and fix his tie, his hair, and his shoes (which are double knotted), then shake some sense into him and force him to write neatly and slowly across the page, touching the bottom of his letters perfectly to the line, as he should.
Then he'll buy him a punctual watch with an inbuilt alarm, because Jongin almost misses his train again, scrambling up from the bench and running for it with his scarf hanging halfway off his neck as if a plane pulling an advertisement banner through vast air.
Kyungsoo stares after him even when his train has left, wondering why he takes the train to school. Maybe it's far away. Maybe it's a private school. That would make a lot of sense, considering this Jongin has a school uniform, whereas most kids don't have a dress code to adhere to.
He still has 2 minutes until his own train leaves, and walks over to the bench Jongin sat on in to see if he can figure out anything more about him. He notices a chemistry textbook lying on the ground and picks it up, seeing Jongin's name scribbled on the front. The book is pristine enough, but one corner is bent and there are a few highlighter marks on the edges of the pages. Jongin has probably gotten highlighter on his fingers and then smudged it all around in carelessness while turning the pages. The thought makes Kyungsoo smile, a reaction quite uncommon for such an observation.
He takes the book with him to work, tucked carefully under the sanctuary of his arm.
*
The next day he comes early once again, knowing where Jongin appears this time, and he guards his bench with hawk eyes, having placed his book there carefully for him to find ‘by accident’.
Jongin comes running by 2 minutes before his train leaves, late again, and Kyungsoo watches as he stands impatiently behind the two men in front of him in line at the ticket machine, tapping his hand against his side in 4/4 time, the downbeat being the strongest and the 2nd and 4th offbeats weaker.
He's not wearing his coat today. Perhaps he forgot to grab it on his way out. He assumes Jongin walks or runs to the train station depending on his tardiness, because there is no sign of any car stopping nearby to drop him off, and so far he's made a pattern of arriving out of breath and bending over to catch it.
Jongin gets reprimanded for asking if he can cut in line because his train is leaving, and Kyungsoo watches him retreat defeatedly to the bench he usually sits on, checking his watch for the first time since he arrived. Kyungsoo gets an odd satisfaction from Jongin checking his watch. He checks his own as well, and it feels strange, but good strange, that a person he's been watching is checking his watch at the exact same time he is. It's like they're connected. They're watching the seconds pass by together and are interpreting the image of the watch hands to mean a time that has a significance to the both of them. But maybe Jongin's watch is a bit slow or a bit fast, and that unsettles Kyungsoo to a certain degree. He just wants to reach over and check, then maybe fix it if it's off (he better have a quartz), because more than he wants everyone to be on time and precise, he so specifically wants him and Jongin to be on the same schedule so that when he's lying awake at night staring at the ceiling at 2:34am, Jongin could be doing it too. Checking his watch for the time, just like Kyungsoo, and seeing the exact same numbers greeting him.
He forgets about that, however, when Jongin looks down at the bench and sees his textbook lying there, in the same condition as yesterday. A little smile spreads over Jongin's tired face, and Kyungsoo feels a swell in his heart at the little moment they're sharing.
He’d sported that smile too, and now he's making Jongin happy. He made him smile, and it feels good. It almost feels better than showing up to work on time and opening the doors at exactly 8am., then making sure the elevator is cleared so that he can spend the exact same amount of time up to his floor every day without having to stop. 24 seconds. Then half a second slower each year due to the wires being damaged from heavy loads being transported up. A few milliseconds of shift every week, all of which he calculates in.
When he realizes Jongin is going to take the same train as him because he missed his own, Kyungsoo feels summersaults being executed in his stomach by some unknown entity, and a slight pressure inhabit his chest. He makes his way over to his train and boards it right after Jongin, finding a seat behind him quickly before everyone piles in. Jongin is obviously distressed about missing his train, and slumps against the window with a sigh, pulling out his phone and texting someone named Chen that he's going to be late and that they have to do the presentation without him. He then puts his phone down for a bit to take a bite out of a muesli bar of some sort while opening one of his textbooks and flipping through it, before he glances at his phone and picks it up again to text 'Chanyeol', asking if he's free after school. Chanyeol replies with 'yeah', then a semi-colon and a bracket, and Kyungsoo supposes that's a good thing, because Jongin smiles as he puts his phone away for the last time.
Kyungsoo's train ride has never been so eventful. Usually he just zones out to the passing scenery, humming a little tune to himself in time to the track noises while planning which walkway to take to his building, but with Jongin sitting in front of him, he's endlessly entertained. He wants to map him out, in a way. He only really has himself completely mapped out, but he wants to figure Jongin's schedule out too and what makes him tick. He knows the margins of error he has to calculate Jongin's window of tardiness every morning, but what about his school schedule? How long does Jongin spend walking up stairs? Does he set aside time to take bathroom breaks? How does he wash his hands? What things does he like doing? What's the general consensus on his character? Is he the cut off the crusts on his sandwiches kind of boy or does he not care?
When they step off the train, Jongin seems to head towards the bus terminal, and Kyungsoo can only assume he's taking a bus out of town in another direction, the only alternative to his missed train unless he wants to wait around for hours.
*
He makes a habit of observing Jongin. It's crazy how he finally feels like his days amount to something, rather than just endless repetition. Not that he minds repetition; in fact, he loves it, thrives off of it even, but now he gets to study someone else's repetition alongside his own, and it's almost an adrenaline rush.
Jongin lives in mostly 5 minute intervals. Kyungsoo's more of a 1 minute man himself, because it's much more efficient. If you think about it, 5 minutes is a little too long to be doing anything, while 1 minute lets you do said task to maximum efficiency, with 0 time wasted. Kyungsoo made a case study of it a couple years ago by scrutinizing his morning routine. Jongin probably sticks to 5-ish minutes because he does things slower and it's easy to spot on the clock when the time has passed. Then there's also the famous saying 'take 5', which is exactly what he'd use to describe Jongin's life. Jongin takes 5 a lot.
Sometimes he just wants to grab Jongin by the shoulders and shake him and tell him that time and efficiency matter. If a split second can be what saves you from a fatal car accident, why don't more people count their seconds more carefully? Jongin is over-frivolous with his; they just pile up and go to waste, and it's saddening.
Other than that, Jongin likes Coldplay and he eats in secret. Kyungsoo knows this because he can see the artist name on his phone screen and even overhear the music from his headphones sometimes, and whenever Jongin eats he eats quick, always little chocolate bars or something of the like that he's stashed away in a cramped side-pocket of his backpack. Then he looks around himself guiltily, like someone will chastise him for cramming them in his mouth.
Jongin is also an easily distracted person. One of his bad habits is stopping in the middle of whatever he's doing to check his phone, usually to text people or reply to texts, and he seems to have a lot of friends. Kyungsoo doesn't understand the appeal; he doesn't have a phone bill because he has nobody to communicate with. Not even his mother wants to say hello. He supposes he could try to make a 'friend' at work, but friends are so much effort and they're completely spontaneous and unreliable. A person he talked to a few times once back in school called him one night and asked him if he could bring alcohol to a party. When Kyungsoo didn't reply because he didn't care enough, he was ostracized by most of his classmates the next day, getting weird looks from all around. Even in college after people came by his dorm, they usually didn't return or come within 50 feet of him.
*
"So, Kyungsoo, you got any plans for the long weekend? Not that I expect you to have any," Sehun says with a chuckle, sipping his scalding coffee while staring down at Kyungsoo from his casual stance next to his desk. The guys at work always make fun of him. Mostly for not getting laid or having any romantic company whatsoever, and Sehun is especially bad.
"I do, actually," Kyungsoo retorts, tightening his hands into fists. Sehun is interrupting his schedule and he doesn't like it. He always does that, but he's too hard to just ignore because his voice and presence are so persistent.
"Oh really?" Sehun says, taken aback, but only for a millisecond. "What is it? You're going to go to the store to get an apple at noon?"
Kyungsoo doesn't take the bait. Instead, he just lays down his pencil carefully (making sure it's parallel to his keyboard) and says, "I'm going to take my boyfriend to the movies, actually."
Sehun's eyebrows raise quite a significant amount, and he stops stirring his coffee by swishing it around. "Boyfriend, huh? Damn, it's about time you got someone." He pauses briefly, before he asks, "So, what movie are you seeing?"
Kyungsoo knows he's caught now, because he has no idea what's airing in the cinemas and he doesn't particularly care.
"I don't know yet. A good one."
"Alright," Sehun says, laughing. Some of the other guys are listening in on their conversation and he catches Sehun sharing looks with them. For some reason it really irks Kyungsoo today that Sehun doesn't believe him. That they all think he's crazy.
"Do you want to see a picture of him?" He asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and finding a picture he took of Jongin while he was waiting for the train. He looks so beautiful in it, his hair tucked behind his ear and everything. Then again, he looks beautiful all the time.
"Why isn't he looking at you?" Sehun asks, but takes Kyungsoo's phone nonetheless to get a closer look.
"He's camera shy," Kyungsoo reasons. For some reason he imagines Jongin would be.
"He's pretty cute, I'll give you that. Let me know when he gets tired of your neurotic ass so that I can try him, yeah?"
Kyungsoo yanks his phone back protectively, perhaps going a little hard on the force.
"I don't appreciate you talking about my boyfriend that way."
"Geez, lighten up, buddy; I was just joking!" Sehun says boisterously, but Kyungsoo knows he wasn't. "He doesn't look that legal, though. Are you messing with kids now, Kyungsoo? It might be hot, you know, the idea of taking a little virgin and guiding them through their first time, but trust me on this one: it's very, very illegal."
"I'm not. He's seventeen," Kyungsoo says, scrunching up his nose. "And we haven't even done that yet."
"Then what are you waiting for?" Sehun exclaims while rolling his eyes. "Him to jump on another dick?"
Kyungsoo gets up to go to the bathroom then, quite angrily, leaving Sehun and his inappropriate comments behind because he's too riled up to stay in his presence for 1 more minute. He doesn't come out for at least 10 minutes because he's seething. He doesn't want anyone else looking at his Jongin the way Sehun looked at him. Ever.
After the seething dissipates, his thoughts wander back to what Sehun said and he finds himself involuntarily picturing Jongin taking off his school uniform while looking utterly delectable. He starts sweating, because thoughts like that aren't like him and it feels overwhelming. He doesn't know what's coming over him, but the sight really is something to behold and he feels himself getting hard while imaginary Jongin says dirty things to him like "please, take me" or "ravish me" or Kyungsoo's name in a needy, breathy manner, over and over again.
He gives in and masturbates for the first time in his life in that cubicle, following his natural instinct of wanting pressure on his dick and his mind wanting that pressure and tightness to be Jongin. He might have done it once or twice before, but this is the first time he reaches climax, and he comes all over his clammy hand while staring at Jongin's beautiful picture on his phone, breathing hard and heavy because his stamina is so terrible.
He doesn't know how many seconds he is behind schedule now.
*
Jongin is swinging his leg in a filipendulous manner over the bench, lying awkwardly with his upper body flat on the wooden surface while holding a textbook above his head. He always fidgets and moves around, and Kyungsoo notes down in his head when he does what type of movement.
Talking to his mom on the phone is constantly rolling his head back and biting his lips, because she's annoying and persistent and it drives Jongin nuts. Waiting for the train to arrive when he has nothing else to distract himself with is switching positions all the time and pretending to be doing things so that he doesn't look awkward. When Jongin is sad he normally sits still and pouts while listening to music (Coldplay), and he seems to lose touch with reality, because it's made him miss his train twice so far.
Talking to his friend Chanyeol is complicated. Jongin has all kinds of movements and ticks for that. Mostly he just sort of--
"But can't you pick me up?" He hears Jongin ask, a sense of desperation in his voice. He's biting at his nails while talking on the phone. "Chanyeol--" he quietens then, abruptly. The person on the other end is probably speaking, and he watches Jongin's expression turn sullen. "I just miss you..." Kyungsoo hears, and thinks the conversation is a bit too deep to be friendly. The thought is unsettling, and he doesn't want to linger on it. It's hard not to, though, when Jongin says, "What do you mean turn around?" And then turns himself around in a half-hearted pirouette, only to almost drop his phone and jaw because there's someone standing there a little way behind him, and Kyungsoo follows Jongin's line of vision to what's making him lose it.
It's another boy, but he's much taller, and he's wearing a tattered snapback, a smile on him so wide that it could almost read like he's about to psychotically murder someone. He has big ears and big eyes and Kyungsoo feels severely underwhelmed that this is the Chanyeol Jongin is constantly talking to.
"Channie..." Jongin says, and it's a weird moment for Kyungsoo, to watch his boy's eyes light up with bouts of emotion. It sinks in for him then, what he'd hoped wasn't true all along.
Jongin almost jumps off the bench -leaving all his valuables and belongings behind- and sprints forward to this person, only to then jump into their arms and get a big, long kiss.
Kyungsoo feels nauseous. There's foreign skin touching Jongin; foreign hands. Every second he's in Chanyeol's arms he'll probably start smelling more and more like him and less like himself. It's so nauseatingly creepy.
Chanyeol has big hands and they're squeezing tight around Jongin's waist like the claws of a Tauren Horde. He's closing his eyes because Jongin's lips probably feel like heaven, and soon Jongin will taste of him too. Kyungsoo feels so unsettled by how contaminated he'll be with this other person, this person who he has a little fixation on. He's so unsettled.
He decides to devise a plan to get Jongin out of the unnecessary contact with another human, looking over at the bench with Jongin's stuff on it. He walks over quietly and picks up one of Jongin's things, then starts panting so that he sounds out of breath while he jogs up to the kissing couple.
Jongin and Chanyeol break apart. They both look at him.
"I saw you left your stuff back at that bench," Kyungsoo says, feeling high but also nervous about talking to Jongin for the second time. He wonders if he remembers him. He can't look him in the eyes this time, however. Jongin's gaze is too magical and he's too nervous. "Some kids came by and took your phone, but I got it back for you before they could go anywhere."
Jongin covers his mouth with his hands, then gratefully takes the phone Kyungsoo holds out to him.
"O-oh my god, I'm so stupid, I-- thank you." Jongin hurries back over to the bench to check that nothing else had been stolen, gathering his stuff back up and putting his jacket on.
"Dude, thank you. Really," Chanyeol says, and Kyungsoo regretfully remembers that he's still there. Chanyeol quickly pulls out his wallet from his back pocket -an old, dusty, leather one- and flips through some bills after licking his thumb. "Jongin is very grateful to you."
Don't tell me how Jongin feels.
"Oh no, it's alright," Kyungsoo dismisses, refusing to take the money Chanyeol yanks out to hand him. He gets offended, because Chanyeol is a fucking kid with an allowance and Kyungsoo is a much older man with a good job and absolutely no need for small pickings. He mumbles, "I'm sure my net worth is quadruple yours already," and he's not sure if Chanyeol hears him or not, but he's thinking yes, because when he walks away the boy looks lost for words, fickle 10 dollar bills flickering from the wind in his hold.
*
Kyungsoo has to start integrating Chanyeol into his observations now. Not out of curiosity, but out of necessity. He realizes that Jongin spends most of his free time with him when he starts following them around to get a feel for their routines.
Jongin goes to a private school on the west side of town because his mother is neurotic about him becoming associated with bad people, and he's heard her yelling over Jongin's phone that public school is 'a place where the scum of the earth go to fester together and ruin their lives', which consequently means she isn't the biggest fan of Chanyeol, seeing as Jongin met Chanyeol when he was still in public school. Chanyeol lives a long bus ride away from the train station, up a hill and kind of in the middle of nowhere (at least from what Kyungsoo saw when he hopped on the bus with them once).
Jongin goes to his house a lot. He assumes Chanyeol's parents aren't home much, because on the bus Chanyeol always tells Jongin in a hushed voice what sexual things he's going to do to him when they get home, including but not limited to: throwing him over the counter and having him in the kitchen, bathing him and fingering him in the tub, and also eating him out until he falls asleep. Whether Chanyeol actually does any of this debauchery is uncertain, because what seemed like sloppy procrastination habits on Jongin's part, Kyungsoo finds out, is really just Jongin having an unbearable amount of homework, since apparently private schools like to work their students to the grave, and so he doubts Jongin ever lounges around and does nothing at Chanyeol's house. Jongin also never replies when Chanyeol says things like that; he only blushes, and a part of Kyungsoo is very satisfied that Jongin is still bashful and shy despite what his boyfriend may or may not be doing to him. Maybe it's all talk and no action, which would be ideal.
He decides to investigate further. It's a Tuesday and he leaves work early to catch Jongin on his way home at the train station before he leaves. Chanyeol comes to pick him up via the bus on Tuesdays, and Kyungsoo follows them. Not that they would ever notice, because nobody notices him. He's a very forgettable face and silent presence; he barely breathes because he's so concentrated. He watches Jongin and Chanyeol play some sort of bird game on a phone, laughing together and arguing about how to best approach the challenge. The bus ride ends with Chanyeol massaging Jongin's neck gently with his fingers and Jongin practically sleeping on the taller's shoulder. Joke's on Chanyeol, because Kyungsoo has seen Jongin sleep a million times while waiting for or missing the train. A million times more than he has. A million times with a million observations and thoughts; he's never let a second go to waste. And here Chanyeol is, not even looking at him. He'd spit on the floor in disgust if he could, but he fears it would make noise.
The giant rouses Jongin when the bus halts at the last stop, dragging him off, and Kyungsoo follows a little stretch behind them, still holding his briefcase and wearing his suit. It might look odd, him being there, but he suspects both lovebirds upfront are too wrapped up in each other to notice anyways. Or at least Chanyeol is, Kyungsoo doesn't see how Jongin can even like the other boy. He doesn't improve him in any way. He doesn't make Jongin a better person or pose any advantage to how he lives. Kyungsoo would be ideal. He hardly does anything but think about improving people, and he hates to watch Jongin waste away with a temporary replacement that still picks his nose in public.
They walk for about fifteen minutes until he sees Jongin and his boyfriend turn in to a house in a little, clustered neighbourhood. It's a small house and Kyungsoo approaches cautiously, counting the time it would take for both of them to take off their clothes and go upstairs before he approaches the door and checks it.
Unlocked. Well, it looks like Chanyeol is careless, and Kyungsoo will reap the benefits.
He enters, careful to take off his shoes as well, and listens for their voices, which come loudly from upstairs, accompanied by a few crashing sounds and laughter. Does he investigate or does he give in to his selfish desires and observe? He's been planning on finding out more about Chanyeol and his relationship with Jongin, and he's pretty sure that won't happen with him just shadowing after them. He needs substantial evidence.
He goes with his intuition this time, instead of his reasoning, and he doubts he'll get much profit from it, but his legs seem to be moving all on their own, off with his shoes and up the stairs one slow step at a time, making sure to figure out which ones creek before they do.
He makes it to the room Jongin and the other boy are in, faced with an ajar door and lewd sight which he most definitely had not been anticipating. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head.
A part of him wants this; wants to see it, but another part of him, the jealous part, the little green goblin, wants to stop it immediately. He ends up just standing still, watching and listening.
Jongin is naked and on his back, legs wrapped around Chanyeol's waist. He's full. Filled.
"You look so beautiful like this," he hears Chanyeol breathe into Jongin's mouth, looking down at the boy like he's a miracle of nature or a little seedling from an angel above planted to blossom into a second sun. And Kyungsoo concurs; Jongin really does look amazing with his blissed out expression from taking someone else in, his face sweaty and lips swollen and eyes as unfocused as the rest of him, only submitting to the overbearing pleasure he's so tellingly feeling.
A drawn out whine can be heard when Chanyeol starts moving, and Kyungsoo feels it running down his spine and out to the tip of his shaft, until he realizes he's standing there tall and proud and stiff.
But Kyungsoo's not one to get carried away. Sure, he really wants to do unspeakable things to Jongin right now and feel the sweet relief of coming to the sound of his voice and naked image, but he's there for a purpose, and his mind and body are always aware of that, of purposes and plans. There's also a small part of him that would love to sink an axe or something of the like into Chanyeol's stupid skull, but that's silly. He just has to keep moving.
He walks away from the open door to the harmony of grunts and moans, ignoring the tent in his pants while zeroing in on what he really wants out of his visit to Chanyeol's house. To be honest, he wished they were at Jongin's house instead; he's the reason Kyungsoo cares at all, the one he wants to learn about. But Chanyeol is in Jongin's life, so he supposes by default he should care about him too. Not as a person, but as a prop; a side-character in Jongin's lovely story.
He stumbles into Chanyeol's messy bathroom, looking around, before he sees what he's been looking for and grabs it, lodging the bottle of cologne into his briefcase. It looks vile. Chanyeol really is too much.
He heads for his second destination, which he finds to be down in the living room, where a laptop stands proudly on the coffee table in front of the TV. It's an old Dell with an i3 Intel processor, and it's asleep until Kyungsoo touches to mouse pad in order to rouse it to life. The fan starts up and the black screen shows a plethora of running programs and open windows, most of which make Kyungsoo grimace because of their nature. Illegal pirating software, DVD ripping software, multiple internet browsers, and about five different folders worth of music.
He does a quick search for .jpg, .png, .avi, .mov, and .MP4, and gets a long list of pictures and videos, all of which he takes the liberty to browse through. The pictures are everything from what looks like Chanyeol's desired cars to specially customized MMORPG characters (a lot of them being elves with big breasts). There aren't that many video files, but the ones that do exist have Jongin in the thumbnail. He clicks through all of them, and they're mostly Jongin laughing at Chanyeol's bad jokes or the two of them doing something stupid together like sliding down the slide at a random playground for no reason. There's one, however, which starts off in darkness and then has Chanyeol placing the camera onto some form of elevation that points to the bed, where Jongin is sitting nervously, donning a big t-shirt. He realizes he's found his way to a filmed sex act when Chanyeol starts undressing Jongin and saying things to him that only barely get picked up in the audio, but very clearly turn the boy on (he's completely red in the face and whimpering like a hurt animal).
Kyungsoo watches it 5 times. It's pretty short, but interesting. He memorizes it, and when he's finished, he repeats the dialogue in his head, then out loud. Very interesting.
He doesn't get to look at either Chanyeol's documents or audio files before he hears a creaking of the top stair, signifying a coming descent. He leaves the laptop, walking briskly to hide against a wall with ugly tapestry when he sees Jongin and Chanyeol enter the kitchen, the shorter of the two whining about being hungry and clinging to the lanky one.
He hears Chanyeol groan while pulling out his phone from his pocket and flinging it onto the dresser in the hall, then flops down on one of the chairs around the kitchen table, a table which is definitely too small to accommodate him, because his knees barely fit under it.
And that, that's what Kyungsoo wants. The phone. His phone. Kyungsoo wants that.
All the talk in the background is just white noise as Kyungsoo slinks himself around the back of the wall walk along the corridor that leads to the foyer, picking up the phone quietly on his way out, along with some card that was lying haphazardly next to it.
It's a big android with 3G and a decent camera, and he clicks through all the pictures in the 'Jongin' folder to the steps of his walk. There are enough to get him all the way back to the bus and three extra steps to plop down into a free seat.
The card he picked up turns out to be Jongin's student card, which he spends his whole trip staring at and stroking, sad that it was left somewhere as gross as Chanyeol's house, and so carelessly on top of everything.
*
Kyungsoo is bad at making food. He's so terribly bad, but he has to learn, because he has a date with Jongin, and it has to be no less than perfect. Except all the dust and mess in his apartment frustrates him. He knows it's there, but he doesn't want to vacuum or tidy in case he loses something. He has things neatly piled up and organized, but when there's no more space for his things he's had to place them on the floor or in cupboards, and he doesn't dare knock them over with a mop.
He makes spaghetti bolognaise, because it's the only thing he knows how to make, and shoves everything off his dining table to make space for a very Lady and the Tramp inspired table cloth and dinner set. He props Jongin up against the chair across from his, asking him how big of a portion he wants, because honestly, Kyungsoo has a tendency to serve more than necessary, just so that his cooking pot gets completely emptied. But he can't do that with Jongin; he has to learn moderation and being considerate. And he can't feed him the ready meals he always eats; then Jongin would probably get tired of him real quick.
Jongin looks so sad staring at him from the Super AMOLED display, but it was the only Jongin that Kyungsoo could find who didn't stare him right in the face, because for some reason he's feeling a tad self-conscious.
"How's dinner?"
He scrapes his fork down in his bowl, clearing it of sauce and remaining food. It makes a squeaky noise against the glazed ceramic. He eats a little fast, and he should probably slow it down, because it's unbecoming for both his schedule and gentlemanly appearance. It's because he's so nervous. He wants it to be perfect.
Kyungsoo spends two hours playing World of Warcraft to calm himself down, simply leaving their dinner on the table because he doesn't want to get sticky from touching the food to wash up. The constant food smell is a bit disgusting, but he just can't face Jongin again like this; sweaty and nervous and lost for words. He has to complete some more quests with his mage first.
*
Hey, he texts Jongin from Chanyeol's phone, having studied their texting patterns all night. He's at the train station at the wee hours of morning, and watches Jongin reach for his phone to open his message, only to smile and start typing back.
Hey :)
Kyungsoo isn't too sure what to send next. Chanyeol sends Jongin a lot of messages, and their conversations go in all sorts of directions depending on how they play it out, but trying them himself is suddenly so hard.
Kyungsoo's fingers slip and he sends You look beautiful today, which has Jongin looking up from his phone, probably thinking Chanyeol might have showed up behind him once again. Kyungsoo sinks further behind the pillar he's watching Jongin from, and finally the boy gives up, confused.
How do you know?
I don't. But how else would you look?
There it is; a really big, pretty smile stretching over Jongin's lips. He lives for that smile. And he's put it there again. He pats himself on the back mentally, clutching the phone tight and typing a new message.
I'll miss you at school today, baby.
Chanyeol always calls Jongin 'baby'. It's a shame, because Jongin's name is really pretty, but he supposes it's something he should conform to. Jongin is a bit of a baby, though. It's fitting in its own right. It works.
I'll miss you too. I miss you already...
Jongin is really cute. He's even sitting over there on the bench, moping by himself, pout on parade. Then he types another message, slowly, before leaning his head down against the bench.
See you tonight <3
Kyungsoo grimaces, feeling his chest tighten in fear. His fingers shake as he types his next message.
I can't see you today. I'm busy, sorry.
Oh :(
Jongin's face is fallen, and Kyungsoo feels his heart hurt. He wants to hold him and tell him everything will be alright, but he can't let Chanyeol ruin this; not when he's gotten so far. If they find out his phone is gone it's game over.
I love you so much
Jongin's eyes widen and he almost looks winded where he sits for a little while, looking at the text he just got. Kyungsoo feels a lump form in his throat. Maybe they haven't said that to each other yet and he's going too fast to be authentic. He isn't too sure how long they've been together, but he really ought to check Chanyeol's calendar. A few seconds later, however, Jongin grins to himself like a little schoolgirl, fingers playing with the corners of one of his textbooks. Ah, so that's why they're like that.
I love you too!!
( Part Two )