Pure #36: Lilac Pills
Title: Lilac Pills
Rating: PG
Word Count: 6,764
Warnings: A little bit angsty and failed fluff
Summary: Jongin can’t afford flowers and Kyungsoo can’t eat sugar.
Author's Note: To be honest this is my first fest, and also my first fic. And it’s been a hell of a ride, so kudos to all writers who produce masterpieces; I have so much respect for you guys. I want to thank the mods; they have been nothing but lovely, supportive, friendly and full of love. Thank you for your little words of kindness and the support you gave me. Thank you to my dear sister who gave me her advice and pushed me to keep going, I love you!! To the prompter, I do hope this fic is to your liking. Whoever you are, hello to you beautiful human being! Thank you for reading this, I’m not truly satisfied with it but I’m proud of myself. I hope you enjoy the fest and continue giving love to our wonderful Kim Jongin and Do Kyungsoo!!
Jongin doesn’t hear what his teacher says to end the class as he is already out of the room, running toward the stairs ready to skip a few steps if it means he’ll be the first one to get to Kyungsoo.
He won’t make the same mistake as last Tuesday, where he had taken his time, which resulted in Chanyeol kidnapping Kyungsoo and bringing him to the arcade without him.
Poor Jongin had been so mad, and so sad that he didn’t talk to their tall friend until a few days later. He knows it’s childish, but just the thought of Chanyeol spending one-on-one time with Kyungsoo makes his blood boil.
Shaking his head, he lets his mind drift off to a more positive kind of thinking.
Even though it’s only Monday, and there is still weeks to go, he already feels the excitement rushing through his body; his mom had promised to take him and Kyungsoo to the aquarium on Saturday. Kyungsoo will also be spending the night, which means they’ll get to watch some movies, snack on over-buttered popcorn and, Jongin’s favorite part - they’ll probably end up cuddling in his bed, because despite what people might think or what vibe he gives off, Kyungsoo is the one who like to touch, who says it’s nice to sleep together - and while they stare at the stars on Jongin’s ceiling, creating their own universes and inventing endless stories, they’ll lay on the bed with their fingers intertwined.
So with those delightful thoughts dancing on his mind, Jongin makes his way through the school’s hallway, not wanting to wait any longer to see his friend’s beautiful face.
Luckily, Kyungsoo is waiting for him, alone, beside his locker and he greets him with a -
"You are going to fall one day running like that, dummy. And don’t count on me to feel sorry for you if you do". Jongin can’t help but smile at this; Kyungsoo’s cute when he worries about him, but Jongin wouldn’t mind getting hurt if it’s Kyungsoo who takes care of him.
They have been best friends for a long time, since they have started elementary school actually. Now they are in middle school and Jongin is sure their friendship is going to last forever. He likes how their friendship is, how simple things are between them and how true they are to themselves with the other.
However there is no need to deny the fact that Jongin has a tiny crush on Kyungsoo.
Okay, maybe it’s not so tiny a crush but that’s not the point. You can’t blame him - blame Kyungsoo for being so nice, so caring, generous, and gentle. Blame Kyungsoo for being clumsy from time to time which makes Jongin smile a little wider than usual. Blame Kyungsoo for having those stunning wide eyes that serve as a mirror for his emotions, a cute bowl-cut and adorable chubby cheeks that Jongin really wants to pinch. Blame Kyungsoo for being slightly shorter, which makes it perfect for Jongin to hug him.
Kyungsoo is the epitome of a perfect human being in Jongin’s eyes.
"Don’t worry hyung. Are we going home now? I’m tired. You want to come over? Mello has been missing you - we could put him in his transparent sphere and bring him outside!" Jongin said.
Mello is his cute little hamster he got about two weeks ago. Originally, Jongin had wanted a puppy like how his neighbour Hwasa owns one, and he really thought he could convince his parents. Unfortunately for him, they had say no to his request. Judging him too young and not mature enough to take care of a dog himself was what they told him, but they had agreed to compromise - if he proves himself to be able to take care of a smaller animal, they will consider getting him a dog in the near future (they just didn’t imagine that taking care of a hamster is as much, if not more, work as taking care of a dog, but anyways).
So that’s how he ended up with a fluffy caramel-furred hamster. Although a little disappointed, he fell under the spell of the little creature when he first saw how she eats. I mean have you ever seen the way hamsters eat? That’s like the cutest thing on earth - after Kyungsoo of course.
Kyungsoo nods once they’re outside, heading toward Jongin’s house. As soon as they arrived, they go into the kitchen to grab something to eat. Without asking, Jongin pours a glass of juice for Kyungsoo and gives it to him, and from the way his friend’s fingers were slightly shaking, he knows he did a good thing.
They spend the next hour with Mello, putting him in is sphere and watching him roll around in the grass. Kyungsoo then decides it would be nice to build a home outside for their little furry friend, and together they planned how they want it to be along with making a list of their needed materials.
As they argued about where to put the house - they don’t want the neighbourhood cats to find Mello and eat him - their discussion is put on hold when Kyungsoo’s mother calls out to them, asking for her son to return home since it’s already dinner time.
With his friend gone, Jongin sets out his homework on his desk, hoping to have time to finish them before his own mother calls him for dinner.
But all of his motivation flies out of the window when he hears Mello running around in his wheel. He turns to look at his little hamster and the more he stares, the more his mind wanders.
Kyungsoo - Lately the boy has been on his mind more often than not. Kyungsoo - his best friend who he would do anything for. Kyungsoo, precious Kyungsoo, with whom he wants to be with until the end of forever.
They are still young and there are so many things they don’t understand but Jongin knows he really cares about Kyungsoo; he wants the boy to be happy, he wants to make sure he will always be safe, he wants to make him smile and laugh. He likes holding hands with the smaller boy and hugging him. Kyungsoo is warm and understanding - when Jongin’s grandfather passed away, he had comforted Jongin, held him and tried to make him feel better. And when Kyungsoo’s mother was scammed by her husband who left with everything they had, which resulted in them having nowhere to go, the Kim’s family housed them for a while. It allowed Mrs Do time to save enough money to buy a small apartment in the complex down Littoral’s street, just a few minutes from Jongin’s house.
The boy’s thoughts then drift to last year when their teacher made them do a project about friendship where they had to write an essay about the person they considered their best friend. They also had to point out what made a friendship strong and lasting; Jongin mentioned openness, affection, acceptance, trust and happiness. Exactly what the two boys’ share, exactly what Jongin wants them to have forever.
■
It’s four days later, on a Friday, when class for the week ends and it’s officially the weekend. Finally, he thinks, tomorrow he will spend all day just with Kyungsoo - all day long.
Jongin is out of class in a second heading in the direction of Kyungsoo’s locker. With his friend not there yet, Jongin positions himself in front of the locker and waits. Time passes with no sign of his best friend approaching and he starts to get worry. Others students have already gone home leaving the hallway empty with the exception of Jongin.
It’s with concern painted all over his face that he walks to Kyungsoo’s class. He peeks into the classroom only to find his friend asleep on his desk with his teacher, Miss Lee, standing right next to him, a phone in her hands.
"Oh, hello Jongin! I am trying to contact Kyungsoo’s mom but there’s no answer."
Jongin approaches Kyungsoo and his hand automatically goes to his back, rubbing it in a soothing manner. He looks as if he was in deep sleep, but of course it’s always like that when it happens. He remembers that Kyungsoo had eaten well during lunch and that Baekhyun told him he was feeling ok during gym class; although nothing is a certainty when it comes to Kyungsoo’s body reactions. Jongin had learn it the hard way.
"Maybe she had to take over the evening shift?" Jongin suggests.
"Alright, well let me just call your mother Jongin. Maybe you can sit here and keep an eye on Kyungsoo?"
Miss Lee has got nothing to worry about because Jongin will keep both his eyes on the sleeping boy. With his friend asleep, Jongin has all the freedom in the world to look at Kyungsoo’s perfect face without looking like a creep.
His right cheek is mushed against his arms and Jongin finds him so cute he almost squeals - however, he controls his inner fanboy and focuses on gathering Kyungsoo’s things. When he turns his head to look at Kyungsoo again, he starts to wonder - if I kiss him, will he wakes up? Jongin mentally slaps himself - dummy, Kyungsoo is not Sleeping Beauty - although he is beautiful - and you are certainly not Prince charming.
Clearing his mind from those unrealistic though, he sits next to his friend keeping an eye on him just like he was asked to. When Miss Lee comes back, it’s to tell him that his mother is stuck in traffic and won’t be here for another 45 minutes.
Jongin doesn’t want to wait and he knows Kyungsoo will be way more comfortable if he’s resting on a bed rather than on this hard desk.
"I can carry him home Miss Lee. It will be much faster than waiting for my mom" Jongin says.
"Don’t be ridiculous Jongin, you can’t carry him and your bags", retorts the lady.
"Our teacher didn’t give us homework so I’ll only have Kyungsoo’s school bag to hold. Don’t worry."
Miss Lee bit her lips and considers letting Jongin go before looking at the boy in front of her. She knows he is determined to have his own way and that he won’t accept a negative answer. So she nods her head and Jongin smiles. He goes out of the classroom to put his bag in his locker before coming back. Then Miss Lee helps Jongin maneuver Kyungsoo on his back. Just a moment ago Jongin had put Kyungsoo’s schoolbag backwards and he can’t help but winces a little bit at the addition of weight.
The sleeping boy is a bit chubbier than Jongin imagined, although he would never admit it in front of the boy - he knows Kyungsoo doesn’t like it when someone point out the baby fat he still has on his stomach. Adjusting Kyungsoo’s position on his back, Jongin turns his head toward Miss Lee -
"Thank you Miss, I’ll take care of Kyungsoo and make sure he is okay".
"You better Jongin! I will call your mom again to tell her you’re going home with Kyungsoo, but I want you to call her once you reach home, is that clear?"
"I’ll do that, don’t worry Miss", and with Miss Lee being reassured Jongin exits the classroom and makes him way home with Kyungsoo sleeping in the crook of his neck. The walk won’t take too long since they live in the same neighbourhood as the school, but he still decides to take the shortcut through the park.
■
The lazy clouds floating in the endless blue sky, along with the weather that’s rather warm for an early spring day, makes it an ideal time for a quiet walk through the park.
The leaves that have already bloomed undulated under the light breeze; birds are either flying as they enjoy the sun light or perched on trees observing the two boys. Some squirrels stop and stare for a second when Jongin halts his steps to adjust his grip on Kyungsoo’s thighs, but immediately go back to munching some buds of trees. There’s an elderly couple sitting on a wood bench and a small group of schoolgirls walking a few meters in front of Jongin talking about who knows what but otherwise the park is surrounded in a peaceful atmosphere.
It’s so calm and nice that Jongin doesn’t want to reach home yet but his arms are starting to complain slightly besides he really needs to take Kyungsoo home to make sure he’s okay. Once they’ve arrived home, Jongin takes Kyungsoo to his room and put him down on his bed. He takes off the schoolbag and his friend’s shoes before stepping out to go call his mom.
He comes back with some snacks and sits down next to his bed with the firm intention of watching over Kyungsoo. And from the way Mello is staring at the boy on the bed, it seems like there is going to be two sets of eyes watching the boy.
■
Kyungsoo wakes up with a dry throat, looking all disoriented. With no intention of getting up, he stays still, hoping that the cloud blurring his thoughts dissipates. Waking up in moments like this is painful in a certain way and he hates it. He hates it so much. He supposes he should be used to it by now, but unfortunately he’s not. He knows he should stop complaining because he’s stuck with it forever. If his mother heard him thinking this, she would be sad and would surely told him to put away those negative thoughts and learn to accept his body and its imperfections.
"Maybe it is not perfect, but it’s your body Kyungsoo and you have to make it yours, embrace its flaws, detect the signs he sends you and love it" - he can hear his mother talking. But achieving what she wants him to do is so hard because he hates losing control over his body, feeling feeble, feeling numb and feeling impotent. Moreover, he loathes the food restrictions.
The adaptation period ought to be over since it’s been more than a year, but Kyungsoo still has the impression that it was only yesterday that he was diagnosed with diabetes.
Well it’s not like he can remember the exact moment he received the diagnosis because at that time he was unconscious. If the school nurse had not acted so quickly, things could have gone really bad, like him falling into a hypoglycemic coma. He barely recalls what happened that day - according to the few people present, it is better if he doesn’t keep any memories of that dreadful day.
Kyungsoo knows that if he tries hard, his brain will flash him some images but nothing specific. What he remembers vividly is the feeling - one moment he was playing soccer during gym class and the next he was feeling hot, like he was inside a furnace and he couldn’t breathe as the heat running through his body was trying to consume him. That heat had disappeared as fast as it came though, just to be replaced by cold sweat. His heart rate had gone up suddenly, his vision weakened. What came next was muscular weakness; it seemed like all of his muscles had started shaking, they no longer responded to his commands, his legs no longer supported his weight and he was falling. Falling, falling, and falling until he hit the ground.
But the thing with hypoglycemia is that it’s not only your body that fall - it’s your mind also. Like a complete shutdown - you can only pray someone will turn the power on again.
When he came back to himself, he was laying down on a hospital bed with his parents sitting by his side; concerned faces had turned into relieved ones to see their son awake. He had spent 2 days there, meeting the endocrinologist, receiving diabetes-education by a specialist who explained to him and his parents how to use the new blood glucose meter he was given, how to interpret his results using a specific scale value, how and where to inject insulin. Kyungsoo also received a chart in order to help him voice out the symptoms leading to either hyperglycemia or hypoglycemia.
All these news things, he had to accommodate to real fast - he was forced into a new reality he was afraid and unsure of.
Jongin had made it better though when he had come back home just to find the other boy waiting for him with a box full of fruits, maple products, since maple syrup is actually easier to process than regular sugar, and some sugar-free chocolate.
Jongin had also learned how to inject insulin on the back of Kyungsoo’s arm and how to react if he wasn’t feeling well in case of a low blood-sugar level in his blood. Jongin was the one always holding his hand. Jongin who always carry along with him some snacks with a bottle full of Dex4 in his bag, just in case. Jongin makes Kyungsoo feel better - and the other’s actions and care for him never fails to make Kyungsoo’s heart flutters.
Kind-hearted Jongin
■
Feeling grumpy, he sits up suddenly and startles Jongin who’s playing on his iPod sitting indian-style on the floor.
"Oh hyung, you’re finally awake! How are you feeling?" asks Jongin, still uneasy even though Kyungsoo look okay. The latter looked just a little pale but nothing to really worry about.
"Like I just swallow a bag of sand" answers his friend, "I should probably go check my blood sugar level, I’m sure it’s too high".
Kyungsoo knows he shouldn’t have accepted Minseok’s offers of chocolate chips cookies. That’s the hard part of having diabetes, he needs to make choices or take small boring portion. But that’s proven to be difficult when you are hungry or when you just want to be like others - young teens who eat everything and anything without having to worry if their body are going to go haywire or not.
He does not like calculating his carbohydrate intake; it has not become a habit yet and he might be a little bit negligent. Sometimes he isn’t as careful as he should be - but you can’t blame him. And today, as a consequence of ignoring that subconscious little voice telling him to take his usual insulin shot, he has to deal with his system going into a hyperglycemia episode.
The two boys go downstairs into the kitchen where the Kim family keeps a blood glucose meter just in case Kyungsoo needs to use it. Jongin take the machine out of a cupboard and prepares it for the too-much-sugar-in-his-blood boy. Once the blood sample is taken and while they wait for the results to appear, Kyungsoo goes to prepare himself a glass of water - his mouth still dry, making him feel really uncomfortable.
"26.8!! Kyungsoo what the hell did you eat?" yells an unhappy Jongin.
Kyungsoo winces at his friend’s tone, avoiding his stare as he empty his glass.
"Nothing" grumbles Kyungsoo.
"Well it can’t be nothing considering you sugar level. Did you not inject yourself or what?"
Kyungsoo looks down, not wanting to see his friend anger or worse; hurt face. Instead he takes another glass of water while Jongin waits for the answer he already knows. The boy sighs, taking the matter in his hand as he proceeds to prepare the shot of insulin. Taking care of one’s health should be a priority but sometimes it gets hard and lately Kyungsoo has been acting neglectful.
"Come here", he says. He watches as the shorter boy comes closer, rolling up his right sleeve to expose his shoulder. Disinfecting the surface just below his shoulder point with a small alcohol tissue, Jongin pinches the skin gently, warns Kyungsoo just before pricking him. Kyungsoo rolls down his sleeve when the shot is completed, turning around to thank his friend, only to receive a big hug from Jongin.
Kyungsoo stays still, surprised by the action, but the next moment, he returns the hug.
Jongin’s not mad. He’s concern and worry. This is no secret; everyone knows how much Kyungsoo loathes his condition. Sure, it’s not always easy, it’s tiring and bothersome, but with that being clear, all Jongin wants is for the boy to be healthy and find a way to accept his diabetes. Although right now, it feels like the diabetes is invading the boy’s life, forbidding him to see the time where diabetes will just be another aspect of him, just like his wonderful eyes or his cute mole on his neck, and not a nuisance.
For now all Jongin can do is stand by his friend’s side, give him comfort, show him love and accompany him on his journey to reaccept his body.
And as the two boys hug, nothing can be heard except for the sound of their breathing, although if you listen closely you’ll get to hear Jongin’s heart singing all sorts of love confessions with every beat it makes.
■
Jongin is playing with Mello in the living room when the front door opens. He turns around to see his father walking in holding a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Honey, I’m home" Mr. Kim says as he let go of his suitcase. "Hey son, had a good day at school?"
"Hey dad, it was okay. What do you have there?" asks a curious Jongin, while he stands up coming closer to his dad with his little hamster huddled in his hand.
"I got a surprise for your mom" explains his father, turning the bouquet around so Jongin can get a better view at all the flowers in their pretty arrangement.
There are so many flowers, Jongin can’t count them all, and the smell coming from them is a bit too strong for his liking, but he knows his mom will be pleased.
The bouquet is beautiful - yellow tulips and white roses are placed alternately to create the illusion of a perfect circle. Wax-flowers are set between the tulips and roses, their light-purple petals adding a sweet scent to the already-smelling bouquet. Some eucalyptus flowers are also scatter around and surrounding the floral creation is pandanus’ leave, completing the bouquet with a greenly touch.
It is a nice bouquet for sure, although Jongin doesn’t give it much thought as his interest towards the flowers goes down quickly. He goes back to the living room with Mello. His hamster is far more interesting than flowers that probably won’t last long. Putting Mello back into the small labyrinth he made with Kyungsoo, Jongin ignores the voices coming from his parents and carries on playing with his pet. It isn’t until his stomach growls that he decides to go find his mother - is it time to eat yet? What are they eating? Is dinner ready?
Walking into the kitchen, Jongin catches his mother hunched over the counter, the bouquet resting next to her as she cuts the stem of the different flowers and sort them into smaller batch. Vases are sitting not far away from her working spot; there was a white one with cherry blossoms painted on it, a light blue vase and a tall one stained with black dots.
Still holding Mello, Jongin shuffles closer until he is standing on the opposite side of the counter, right in front of his mother. Quiet like a stone, he watches her work as she takes time arranging the flowers into the three vases, sometimes bringing one of the tulips to her nose to smell their sweet scent.
Eventually getting tired of simply staring at his mother, he tilts his head to the right and asks, like most child do, the obvious -
"What are you doing mom?" He puts his squirming hamster on the counter, watching his little furry friend run over to the flowers, munching on an abandoned leaf.
"Well, as you can see, I’m dividing the flowers into a more appropriate sized bouquet. I want to put one in my bedroom and the other two in the kitchen and the living room", say his mother, gently pushing Mello away from a tulip.
"Why did dad buy you flowers mom? It isn’t your birthday and we aren’t celebrating any holidays today?"
His mom smiles, trimming away some thorns from the roses and placing them in the white vase before answering -
"Giving flowers or any other gift in fact, doesn’t require a celebration or a special occasion. Sometimes you see something that reminds you of a special someone through the window of a shop while walking and you imagine how happy that person would be if you were to offer them. And when you gift flowers to someone it can be because you want to tell them how much you love them, how much you cherish them, how much you are glad to be part of their life. It can be because they succeed in a task and you want to congratulate them. Furthermore, as each type of flowers has their own meaning, you can use that signification to express certain feelings. Like when you want to tell a lover that you love them or that you want to be with them forever. The language of flowers, Jongin, is really powerful and quite poetic."
Hearing his mom’s explanation, Jongin’s mind drifts to his adorable best friend; maybe he could get Kyungsoo a nice bouquet? He should look into this language of flowers, like his mother talked about. He ought to find a flower that will be able to convey of his feeling. A flower that says I like you, like really really like you.
Holding Mello close to his cheeks, Jongin smiles widely, imagining Kyungsoo’s reaction as he is showered in flowers (and in Jongin’s love).
Noticing her son’s dreamy expression, the lady chuckles as she nudges Jongin’s shoulder -
"Someone on your mind, Jongin? Is there a special person you would like to give flowers to?"
Turning as red as an apple, Jongin slowly nods his head: yes, he has someone. There is definitely a lovely boy running on his mind. A lovely boy who deserves all the flowers in the world. A lovely boy he promised to protect, to keep safe and to love. A lovely boy with the most beautiful smile he will never get tired to see.
"I… I would like to, maybe, give some to Kyungsoo. Flowers I mean."
Of course, she thinks, of course it’s Kyungsoo. At the same time, her husband walks in the kitchen, ruffling his son’s hair before walking next to her and giving her a kiss.
"How about we go to the flower shop tomorrow after school? You could choose for yourself what you want to give him. What do you say?"
"Really? Thank you mom!", yells an over-exited Jongin. He grabs Mello and runs straight to his room. He got a bit of money from past birthdays and even though he knows he won’t be able to afford a big bouquet like the one his father had bought, he’ll make sure to buy beautiful flowers for the boy who make his heart beats, all the same.
■
There is an unbelievable relief that comes with eating when you’re in hypoglycemia. Putting food into your mouth, chewing and swallowing; what a divine thing. The sudden hunger, the irresistible urge to stuff your mouth with anything edible, to fill your stomach until it explodes: Kyungsoo can’t get enough of it.
You could have found him reading in his bed a few minutes ago, but right now he is sitting at the kitchen table squeezing as many cookies as he can in his mouth. An empty glass lies in front of him. The only sign of what he just consumed are the tiny white drops scattered in a perfect pattern on top of the table’s surface. It’s not enough; he’s out of breath. His whole body is still shaking as he takes another cookie. His breathing is ragged, he can’t think clearly with his mind screaming at him to eat and eat and eat. Eventually, the hunger calm down along with his breathing. Shivers replace the shaking and he rubs his arms in a vain attempt in warming himself up. Kyungsoo feels the fatigue hit him, he’s still a little bit out of it and his eyes haven’t come back to focus yet.
The consequences of falling into hypoglycemia weigh down on his body as he stands up and heads for the couch on unstable legs.
Just as he’s about to fall asleep, someone knocks on the front door. He considers staying where he is but he remembers his mother warning him of the package she was waiting for, and it would probably arrive by today. With a loud groan, he gets up. It better be that shitty package, he thinks.
It is with a rather grumpy face that Kyungsoo opens the door. Surprisingly, it’s not the mailman but his best friend who’s looking a tad nervous as he shifts his weight from his right leg to his left one, and again back onto his right leg.
"Jongin? What are you doing here?", Kyungsoo asks, sending the other a look of surprise.
"Hey Soo", the boy greets him with a tense smile. Jongin doesn’t know why he’s so nervous - it’s just Kyungsoo, his best friend. But then, it’s Kyungsoo, the boy he kind of likes more than just being simple best friends - the boy he thinks he’s in love with. And right now, he’s standing in front of the said boy, planning to confess since he has bought his potted plant. He doesn’t want to fuck this up.
Confidence is the key, he repeats in his head over and over again. With a deep breath, he looks up at the fair boy just to notice the bags under his eyes. His smile drops instantly - something is wrong, he can tell.
"Did something happened, Soo? You don’t look good at all!", he asks as he steps into the house, putting a hand on the boy’s tense shoulder and rubbing it gently. As he feels his friend’s body relax under his touch, he puts down the paper bag he has in his left hand and brings Kyungsoo to him, hugging him tightly.
It takes a few minutes before Kyungsoo speaks, words muffled since he’s still pressed against the taller’s chest -
"I was in hypo a little while ago, so I’m tired."
"Are you feeling better now? You sure you’re okay?" Jongin moves away a bit to look at his friend’s face, noting his pale face and drooping eyes. He leads him to the sofa, gently pushing him down before taking his place next to him.
Kyungsoo offers no resistance, too tired and worn out from the sugar-drop. He leans against his best friend, cuddling close, seeking warm and comfort. Cheeks redder than usual, Jongin takes his friend in his arms, lying against the armrest with Kyungsoo between his legs; Kyungsoo who quickly dozes off as he is surrounded by the love and the security Jongin brings.
Rubbing the boy’s back, Jongin thoughts drift to the paper bag laying still on the ground. He would be lying if he said that the idea of giving Kyungsoo his gift, along with the meaning of it, didn’t make him nervous. Jongin’s striking for perfection, but what if... what if Kyungsoo doesn’t really like him that way? What if he doesn’t like the gift? What if he thinks it’s weird, or that Jongin is weirder? What if it leaves an awkward feeling between the two of them?
There are so many scenarios running through Jongin’s mind and none of them ends on a happy note. He’s not sure it’s worth it anymore, he doesn’t want to risk their friendship, but at the same time, he really wants to tell Kyungsoo how he feels.
His train of thought is interrupted when Kyungsoo stirs and raises himself from his previous position. Looking better after his quick power nap, the doe-eyes boy shifts to sit properly on the couch and gives a small smile to his best friend.
"I’m fine" he assures Jongin as he knows the boy is probably worried about him. "I hate this", he confesses, "I hate feeling powerless and weak".
Jongin reaches out to take his friend’s hand, holding it high. It is so hard to see Kyungsoo looking sad and dejected like that, and particularly over something he got zero control over. He watches as his friend’s gaze shift over to the paper bag on the floor, nudging it slightly with his feet before turning to him -
"What’s that?", he demands. A nervous Jongin picks up the bag, mumbling a it’s for you, just as he pushes it toward Kyungsoo. Puzzled, Kyungsoo takes it not really knowing what to expect as he peeks into the bag. Taking out the little pot, he sets it on the coffee table and turns toward a blushing Jongin.
"Euh… it’s a small lilac. Right now it’s quite tiny but the florist promised me it would eventually grow", Jongin enlightens a perplexed Kyungsoo who’s looking at the pot plant like it’s the weirdest thing he has even seen. There’s only a little, little sprout coming out from the soil. It’s quite implausible to think that this little sprout could become a big lilac like the one Kyungsoo’s grandmother has in her yard.
Oh my god it’s so lame, he doesn’t like it. Who would anyway, a pitiful tiny little plant that’s going to take forever to grow and bloom! Jongin’s mind is running thoughts off at an unbelievable speed just from seeing his friend’s expression.
Why did I think he would be happy with my gift? It’s lame and boring, not like the bouquet my -
"It’s cute. I like lilac, they smell really nice", Kyungsoo says cheeks flushed, looking at his friend, "but is there a particular reason for you to decide to give me a plant?"
Blushing a deeper red, Jongin struggles to form a proper sentence. He can’t just blurt out that it’s because he likes him, a lot. Nor can he say that he originally wanted to buy him a nice bouquet, but his eleven-year old budget didn’t allow him to buy anything except for that tiny pot plant.
"My mother says we give flowers to the one we care about", he starts while rubbing his hands on his thighs. There’s hesitation because he doesn’t know what kind of explanation Kyungsoo is looking for. "And I care about you and I like you so I thought I’d buy you a plant… to tell you how I feel".
There is a sudden silence in the room and Jongin isn’t sure if it’s a good thing but he can’t take it upon himself to look into Kyungsoo’s eyes. He has built so much courage to walk to his friend’s place and he feels like telling him his feeling maybe wasn’t the best thing to do. The feelings he holds for his best friend are stronger than he thought, and now he’s scared to be rejected.
Suddenly, there’s a hand on his cheeks, gently forcing him to look up and face his friend. In front of him, Kyungsoo is smiling, his lips forming a red heart -
"Thank you Jongin and hum… I like you too you know", the cat’s out of the bag and it leaves two boys facing each other on the couch, with their hearts full of love for the other. Both of them smiled until their cheeks hurt, although they don’t quite mind. They don’t mind it at all.
"Now you gotta kiss me", states Jongin to a taken aback Kyungsoo.
"What? Why?"
"When my father gives my mom flowers, she always kisses him as a gesture of gratitude, so I figured that if I offer you flowers, well a plant, you should kiss me too", Kyungsoo is just so stunned he stays there with his mouth open as heat creeps to his ears.
He can’t believe Jongin was blushing a few minutes ago while explaining why he bought him a plant, but now he’s talking about kissing like he talks about Mello.
Kyungsoo’s unsure about how he should act - to kiss or not to kiss Jongin? On one side, his mother always tells him that kissing is for grown ups, but on the other side he would really like to know how it feels to kiss Jongin. Jongin has nice lips, so it should feel good he thinks.
With his eyes shut tight, he leans closer and touches Jongin’s lips with his own.
Sparks begin to fly.
■
7 years laters
He enters without knocking, it’s not like he’s trespassing anyway, really this place is like his second home. He takes off his shoes near the door, greets the woman reading on the couch and makes his way upstairs. He doesn’t need to think about where he is heading, his feet know just where to take him - second door to the left. That’s where he will find his favorite human.
As he walks closer to the room, a sweet voice comes to his ears, humming a melody he does not recognize. His favorite human who holds the sweetest voice - one he wants to hear until he closes his eyes for the last time. Just before opening the door, which has been left ajar, he feels that familiar reaction stir up inside of him.
He chuckles, even after all this time, I still get butterflies twirling in my stomach just when I’m about to see him.
Pulling his sleeves up to his elbows, the teen walks into the room and the first thing that greets him is the back of his boyfriend who seems to be busy watering his countless plants. A medium-sized shelf is placed in front of the window, allowing the plants to absorb maximum sunlight. There’s a floral scent lingering in the air. The strongest scent being the purple lilac standing at the top of the shelf, standing there, proud and tall, like a trophy you want to show off. It has developed really well through the year.
Of course the care and love his boyfriend shows to his plants played an important role in their growth. He can’t help but feel jealous sometimes - only sometimes.
"I should have never bought you that potted plant back then", he says, surprising the other with a back hug, "now you’re an addict and you’re literally growing a botanical garden in your room". He nuzzles the other’s neck, breathing in deeply just before the smaller boy turns around -
"Hello to you too Jongin", Kyungsoo smiles as he raises himself onto his tiptoes to kiss his best friend of forever, his partner in crime, his lover. The only boy who can make his heart skip a beat just by smiling, the boy who, after all this time, still insists on helping him with his insulin shots.
Jongin who has always been by his side to hold his hand, support him and pick him up when he was down and unable to find a tiny bit of light.
They’re 18 now. School is over so they have the whole summer just for them. They have planned a road trip around the country in July, but other than that they’ll just spend the days lazing around, visiting bookstores (because Kyungsoo loves them), walking endlessly at night and trying the various streets food, shopping for dance shoes (because Jongin needs, at least, a new pair every month). But the most important of all, they’ll spend their summer days together reminding the other how much they love each other.
Because the only thing they really want is to spend all of their time together. Just the two of them inside their little love bubble.
And as they kiss, sunlight shines through the open window enveloping the purple lilac in its warm embrace.
A purple lilac, which with the years, has bloomed beautifully, just like the love Jongin and Kyungsoo shares.