Pure #26: Googly Eyes and Shy Smiles [Part 1/2]
Title: Googly Eyes And Shy Smiles
Other Pairings: Sehun/Baekhyun, Chanyeol/Seulgi, brief mention of Taemin/Krystal
Rating: PG
Word Count: 11.3k
Summary: After a year of secret glances and stalking, Kyungsoo finally takes a leap to confess his feelings for the school paper’s editor in-chief, however, when he thought it would just be easy breezy, it turns out to be more problematic than expected.
Author's Note: It turned out long and i’m surprised myself. Hope you guys enjoy!
Prologue
The summer heat was unbearable in Kyungsoo's opinion, but he doesn’t voice out his abhorrence of the season to his friends as he deems things like this unimportant. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, he keeps his thoughts to himself.
He was on the way home with his garrulous friends, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. The pair were exchanging Pokemon jokes with each other, and Sehun, the stoic and lean tower of a man would often smile discreetly at the jokes he hears. Unfortunately, as much as Kyungsoo wanted to ride along with his friends and laugh with them, he couldn't as the glaring heat of the sun seemed to fry his skin, his entire human existence and even his brain. So with his exhaustion, his steps became slow in pace. Being mentally exhausted from his exams an hour ago doesn’t help to alleviate his repulsion to the summer heat as well.
Reaching up to wipe off the bead of sweat that collects on his hairline and rolls down the side of his cheek with the back of his hand, Kyungsoo halts for a second. This made the rest stop as well, the trio looks over to him curiously.
“Yah, what’s up with you?” Baekhyun crosses his arms, right brow raising in suspicion.
It was only out of curiosity at first that he notices a guy in their school uniform ducking down under a green mini cooper car, much like one in that animated series, Mr. Bean, he sometimes watches on television when he’s bored and has else nothing good to watch. The only difference is, this mini cooper looks like it hasn’t been used in ages as thick dust covers its glass windows and the entirety of the car itself.
Following Kyungsoo’s line of sight, his friends turn to the parked green mini cooper at the side of the road where a lanky male seemed to be talking to someone underneath the old vehicle.
“What the hell is that guy doing?” Baekhyun questions petulantly.
“I think I know that guy.” Chanyeol says.
“That’s Jongin,” Sehun confirms, knowing the guy’s physical attributes very well. The guy finally straightens up from where he’d been crouching, revealing an orange spotted kitten in his arms. Jongin sways the kitten it in his arms gently before putting it down and reaching his arm under the car once again.
“You mean, Kim Jongin?” Baekhyun was doubtful at first, but when the guy brings out a solid white kitten next and places the delicate kitten next to the first one, it confirmed Baekhyun’s doubts. “Oh my god, how horrendous of him to get himself dirty just for those kitties.”
“I think it’s kind-hearted of him to do that,” Kyungsoo smiles, eyes never once leaving Jongin’s figure who pulls out another orange and black-spotted kitten from underneath the car, before gathering all three in his arms. Afterwards, he hugs them close to his chest with a heartwarming smile tugging on the corner of his lips.
Then something weird happens in his chest as he continues to watch the male from a distance away. Bringing out food from his bag, Jongin offers it to the homeless kittens. There was a weird tug at his heartstrings, and no matter how weird the feeling was, it got him smiling.
This Jongin has him feeling something he never had felt before with someone else. Seeing him offering kindness to these homeless kittens sparks a fire in his gut that gets him woozy.
“Aigoo, Kyungsoo, look at yourself, you’re blushing,” Chanyeol nudged his side and cackles maniacally.
Kyungsoo does a double take, before stomping on his friend’s left foot earning him a loud Ouch! and a glare. “I’m not blushing! Stop it!” He defends himself, yet the color on his cheeks says otherwise.
“You’re blushing,” Baekhyun deadpans, rolling his eyes at him.
“I told you! You’re indeed blushing!” Chanyeol chirps once more, but this time, he hides behind Sehun’s back right on time to avoid Kyungsoo’s attacks. “Kyungsoo has a crush~ Kyungsoo has a crush~ Kyungsoo finally found a crush~” he sing songs. It looks like he hasn’t learned his lesson yet from Kyungsoo’s metal foot crushing on his own mere seconds ago.
But aside from Chanyeol’s non-stop teasing, Baekhyun also shoots him a mocking smirk, but Kyungsoo just clucked his tongue and scratches his head in annoyance as he doesn’t want to entertain his friends anymore by taking their teasing seriously. His eyes shift back to look at Jongin and the cute kittens.
His heart softens just at the sight and a smile emerges on his face. But since he knows his friends were still observing and teasing him, he clears his throat and turns away.
“Definitely blushing,” Sehun smirks. Seriously? Kyungsoo wants to whack them all on the head, but instead, he power walks ahead of his friends, passing by the mini cooper. He doesn’t miss giving a final glance at Jongin who was currently petting and scratching the kittens’ heads and ears fondly.
It really was a beautiful sight that he’d commit to memory.
/
i.
He should be walking home by now, but he isn’t. He should have been doing his assignments at home by now, but he isn’t. And he should have been playing with his puppy Retro by now, but he isn’t.
It's been an hour and a half since dismissal, but Do Kyungsoo is still hunched in his seat in the school library, a random mystery novel that he doesn't even know was held upside down in his hands. He was pretending to read, when in actual fact, he is using it to hide himself from the object of his affection sitting five tables away across him.
His eyes are solely focused on Kim Jongin, editor in-chief of their school paper called The Wake Up Call. The latter was sitting meters away from him with two thick books right beside him while he works on his laptop.
Kyungsoo can't help but discreetly admires his crush's handsome features from afar, his eyes flicking up and down from Jongin's eyes to the slope of his prominent jaw. Kyungsoo bites his lower lip to muffle an unmanly squeal to avoid unwanted attention from the librarian and his crush. He can't afford to get embarrassed in front of a few library goers, so he hides behind his borrowed book.
"You're so dumb," Baekhyun, one of his close friends who knows about his huge crush on Jongin drawls in a bored manner, head resting on a sprawled arm while he looks back and forth between him and Jongin. "You should just go and tell him you like him, like those girls flocking around him every White Day."
Kyungsoo shoots him a menacing glare, acting cool although apparently he actually feels hopeless. His eyes turn back to Jongin's figure once again and he sighs in defeat. He really has got it bad. He slumps in his seat and looks at Baekhyun. "I'd probably just die."
"Huh?" Baekhyun’s forehead creases and he narrows his eyes at him. "What happened to your I'm-gonna-confess-directly-to-the-person-I-like-when-I-found-him yada yada? So it's just your yada yada then? Just to look cool?"
“You don’t understand how difficult it is to confess to him,” Kyungsoo slams his forehead onto the wooden table and regrets it soon as pain shoots up his head. He groans.
“But you gotta confess before some people steals him away from you,” Baekhyun chastises, his diva-ish attitude surfacing and Kyungsoo asks himself again how he became friends with him in the first place.
“I’m a loser,” Kyungsoo mumbles, losing hope as he squints his eyes at Jongin’s direction, the latter was getting up from his seat with two thick books around his arms. He trails his eyes along his crush’s back as he steps out of the door and once again, he drops his forehead on the table with a loud thunk and deflates. “and a coward.”
/
“Some people know you like Kim Jongin, Kyungsoo.” The cafeteria is rowdy, but as much as Kyungsoo wants to go somewhere more peaceful to eat his lunch, he can’t, because Kim handsome Jongin is just three tables away, laughing endearingly and looking so goddamn angelic. He won’t miss the opportunity to be able to watch his crush this closely.
“W-What?” Kyungsoo knits his brows as he chews and stuffs more tempura in his mouth hastily, because his goddamn friends are being too obvious, glancing every now and then at Jongin’s table just to tease him.
“Some people know you like Jongin,” Chanyeol repeats before taking a swig from his bottled water, while Kyungsoo squints his eyes at him questioningly.
“What do you mean some people know?” Kyungsoo pokes at his last tempura with his chopsticks, but he doesn’t have the heart to eat it anymore as he keeps rolling and rolling it instead within his lunch box. His heart was thudding fast, and he feels uneasy from Chanyeol’s remark. He didn’t want just anyone to know about his unrequited crush on Jongin. Quite honestly, he wants it to just stay within his group of friends.
“I’m gonna name you Dumb Soo from now,” Baekhyun steals Sehun’s drumstick on his plate, grinning victoriously (and annoyingly) at the youngest boy in their group.
“You could have just said that you want it rather than steal it,” Sehun pouts when he really never pouts at all. Only Baekhyun can draw one out of him. “But Kyungsoo hyung,” Sehun’s attention is now fixated on Kyungsoo. “You should confess before White Day. Just give it a try.”
Closing his lunch box and leaving the last tempura inside, Kyungsoo sighs and peeks through his fringe to look at Chanyeol and Baekhyun who were staring at him challengingly. Sehun, seated right next to him, watches Baekhyun eat his drumstick in envy.
“How many times am I going to drill in your heads that I can’t confess to him?” He gives his friends stern looks, but they look unaffected whereas Sehun’s eyes are still focused on Baekhyun’s mouth munching on his drumstick. Chanyeol has a creepy grin on his face and Baekhyun, being Baekhyun, was unrelenting and acting all diva-like.
“You can’t stop us from reminding you repeatedly that you need to confess A.S.A.P.” Baekhyun licks his greasy lips and Sehun is quick to thrust several tissues at him. The former dabs at his lips without even a thank you to the younger boy.
“Even Junmyeon hyung and Hongbin know about your huge crush on Jongin. They told me most of their staff knows about it too,” Chanyeol says it like he was reading off from a textbook.
“Actually, I was meaning to say that to you too. Even Seulgi and Joohyun know about it too. You know how they’re friends with Jongin so the possibility that they already told him is dangerously high,” Baekhyun adds causing Kyungsoo’s entire existence to be on the brink of shattering because people knew? They knew about it? But how?
“Or maybe they didn’t tell Jongin anything. Who knows?” Baekhyun shrugs.
Kyungsoo’s fists clench on his thighs under the table. His hands are clammy and cold, and Jongin, three tables away from them is still smiling and laughing, eyes crinkling into crescents and Kyungsoo isn’t sure now whether the palpitations he has at the moment was from the fact that some people knew about his fat crush on Jongin already or the fact that seeing Jongin so merry like that makes his heart jump in joy.
“But how would they know when you three are the only ones who know about it?” Kyungsoo sounds so distressed and he feels betrayed from the thought of his friends going behind his back to spread word of how head over heels he is with Jongin. “Did you-Did anyone of you tell them about it?”
Chanyeol quickly shakes his head and says, “No, I never told them anything. And even when they told me that it’s so obvious that you like Jongin, I didn’t confirm it to be true.”
“My lips are always sealed, hyung.” Sehun purses his lips to prove his point and Kyungsoo believes his two friends, breathing out in relief. But his head whips to Baekhyun next who looks very suspicious in his opinion. He might be the only person he knows who is capable of spreading the info about his crush to everyone.
“Oh come on, Soo, I always accompany you to the library to stalk your prince charming and you dare accuse me of spreading your huge secret to everybody?” Baekhyun pouts, forehead creasing and Kyungsoo feels bad for making Baekhyun feel untrustworthy. “Can’t you realize that it’s your fault for being obvious because whenever Jongin is around, your eyes would just have this look like you’re staring at your personal sun and moon?”
“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo apologizes and shoves his lunch box inside his string bag, obviously brushing off Baekhyun’s last statement as he thinks his friend is just exaggerating. “I just don’t get how they know when I’m not even doing anything to make it obvious. And now that maybe Jongin knows about it, then there’s no need for me to confess anymore. It’s so obvious that he’ll outright reject me anyway and it’s not as if I want to date him. I just admire him.
It’s just an admiration really. H-He’s just so cool, so handsome, so good in writing newsworthy pieces and he’s so talented. And! And! And, he cares for animals too,” his eyes widen, hands waving vaguely in the air. “Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t like him in that way. This is just infatuation!”
“What the fuck are you saying?” Baekhyun kicks him on the shin under the table, and that has Kyungsoo retaliating by glaring at his friend.
“Yah, what the fuck are you doing, Baek?”
“Hyung, you’re so hopeless, you don’t know what you’re saying and we’re not dumb.” Sehun crosses his arms and gives Kyungsoo a judging glare for the first time in two years of their friendship.
“You’re dumb and a coward.” Chanyeol emphasizes, hands on his waist as he scoffs in disappointment. Kyungsoo chews on his lower lip, not knowing anymore what were the right words to say because even his mind is a mess. He really can’t think straight.
“You can’t fool us Kyungsoo, you always have hearts and stars in your eyes whenever you look at Jongin. And don’t pull that i’s just an admiration stunt on us because we know you very well and you’re so stupid because your statement is contradictory, don’t you even realize it?” Baekhyun can’t stop his mouth and with every word Baekhyun throws at him, Kyungsoo just feels more and more stupid and small. “Aish, really, why did we become friends again?”
Sehun pats his back comfortingly and even just for a little, he’s thankful that Sehun is doing that for him no matter how dumb he looks like in his friend’s eyes at that moment.
And really, who is he trying to fool when he knows so well that it’s not really just admiration? That he really wants to date Jongin?
He can’t fool anyone. His eyes are always a giveaway.
/
So a week before White Day, rather, ten days before the most awaited occasion, Kyungsoo decides to man up and kick off the shyness residing within him for once.
With balled fists and calculated steps, his eyes zero in on Jongin who has just walked out of the library with folders in hand, round rimmed glasses pushed up the bridge of his nose. In Kyungsoo’s opinion, it makes the boy exude cuteness rather than his usual handsomeness and hotness that every girl in campus admires.
He tries to stay aloof as he follows behind Jongin, yet he can’t help but feel a number of eyes watching him, so he cowers away and rethinks whether he should really be doing this or not.
He’s not ready yet.
Watching Jongin’s back as he take the stairs, Kyungsoo hides behind a group of girls talking about this new boy group. He heaves a defeated sigh and just takes the other staircase to go back to his room.
But by doing so, he chances upon a group of girls who were talking about Jongin. He stays behind a wall to listen to them like a creep. But since he can’t let his presence be known - it would make it seem like he’s eavesdropping - he pulls out his phone instead and goes through his gallery to browse the Prince of Tennis fanarts he’d saved off Tumblr.
“I think they’re really dating,” one cheerleader says. “I even saw them together last week at the mall, holding hands and did you see the same rings they have on their fingers? That’s a promise ring for sure, or maybe they’re already secretly engaged, who knows?”
Kyungsoo’s heart sinks from the information and the sudden want to sprint out, to stop listening to these gossip girls kicks in. But ultimately, the will to stay and listen for more prevails. The truth might just set him free if he knows that Kim Jongin is secretly taken and straight as a raw spaghetti.
“Do you even have pictures? Because I don’t believe you,” another girl says in a challenging tone.
“I have!” the girl exclaims in her defence, “Look. That’s Jongin and Krystal right?”
Krystal Jung. Kyungsoo knows her. Well, who wouldn’t know the campus’ sweetheart anyway? Krystal Jung, perfectly perfect, man’s eye candy, pretty, talented, and smart. Undeniably, Jongin’s type. Kyungsoo won’t be surprised anymore if they are really dating, besides they could be a perfect match-handsome man and beautiful woman - an aesthetic.
Now, he regrets not taking care of his heart, for easily getting drawn to the younger male, and for liking him this far.
This is enough, so he decides to leave. But just as he makes another step to completely run away, he hears a groan from the girl after she received a loud slap on the arm. He sees it from his peripheral vision.
“That’s not Kim Jongin, aish!” another new voice claims and sounds displeased. “That’s Lee Taemin from the neighbouring school!”
“Lee Taemin? The boy who was scouted a month ago by SMent?”
“Yes, that’s him and this,” the girl points at the blurry picture on the phone, “this is no doubt Lee Taemin.”
“I object! I saw it with my own two eyes. It’s Kim Jongin, I swear!”
“Really huh?” she crosses her arms and raises a brow at the other girl. “So tell me, how near were you from them when you captured this photo?”
“Uhm---“
“How near?”
“Well, maybe from here up to the guidance office?” the girl speaks uncertainly, voice quivering a little at the edges.
There’s a sigh and then the girl says, “That’s really too far, Minah. And the fact that you took a photo of them with your old model phone, zoomed in and bam, click, you got a low quality photo. I’m not trying to be on bad terms with you, but I just want to let you know that it’s not Jongin on that picture and Krystal is not dating him.”
“But it’s Jongin---I saw them together!”
“Didn’t you realize that the guy here on your photo is too short?”
“Minah, that’s true. Look, he’s a little short compared to Jongin and his hair isn’t dark brown, it’s lighter.”
“Don’t you guys know that Jongin and Taemin are cousins?” the know-it-all girl says with a wide smile, shocking everyone with a chorus of “Really???”
“Yep, and actually, I’m Taemin’s friend so I could tell from the photo at once.”
That was close. Kyungsoo really thought it was the end of the world for him after hearing the girls’ conversation. Knowing that Jongin might be dating someone else in secret gets his chest constricting, but thank god for that girl earlier, saving him from complete heartbreak. If not because of her, Kyungsoo would be sulking by now and maybe he would regret liking Jongin this deeply.
So Jongin has a cousin who resembles him huh? Kyungsoo wonders just how much they look alike.
Miraculously, as he walks back to his room, eagerness and confidence surges within him and he hopes on the next day, he won’t have a last minute nervous breakdown and tell straight to Jongin’s face that he likes him. As simple as that.
/
But everything goes down the drain the next day when he sees how close Jongin is to him in the hallway approaching the library.
His hands are balled into tight fists on his sides as he watches Jongin talk to a freshman with a notepad and pen in his hand, jotting down notes. He was obviously interviewing the student.
Kyungsoo silently stays behind the lockers and watches his crush like a creep, earning glances from some students, which make him look down immediately at his shoes. He chews on his lips - a nervous habit. When there were no longer eyes flicking at him questionably, he goes back to staring at Jongin from afar, admiring his beautiful physique; his side profile, his puppy-like eyes, his plush lips, his cute imperfect nose and his jet black hair that looks so soft. He wants to ruffle it and comb his fingers through the silky strands.
However, Kyungsoo snaps out of his reverie as he catches Jongin’s back walking away from where he stood before. Kyungsoo’s feet suddenly scurries forward as he tries to catch up to Jongin before his courage to confess slips away.
“Wait!” he calls, panting with his hands on his knees as he glances up at Jongin’s perplexed beautiful face.
Indeed, more fucking beautiful up close. Kyungsoo’s mind screams.
“Yes?”
Even his voice sounds flawless. Kyungsoo’s mind shrieks.
“Uhm,” Kyungsoo’s words were trapped in his throat and he suddenly has difficulty breathing just from staring up at Jongin’s stunning irises.
“Kyungsoo, right?” he asks carefully and Kyungsoo’s mind turns blank. He should be saying yes, it’s me or anything like that to confirm Jongin’s query.
Five or has it been seven seconds that passed?
Kyungsoo is still standing frozen right in front of his crush, cheeks warming up as he realizes he hasn’t answered Jongin yet. And can we just take a moment of silence because Jongin knows his name?
“Uh-“ Jongin brings a hand up to his head, ruffling his hair sheepishly as a charming smile comes up on his face. It takes Kyungsoo’s breath away. “Junmyeon hyung, he knows you.” That explains why Jongin knows his name. Of course, it would be because of Junmyeon, because Junmyeon knows right? No, it’s not the time to overthink. But not just that, his mind is at the brink of malfunctioning as he feels chills run down his spine. He just can’t stray his googly eyes from that endearing smile presented before him.
Then everything flushes out from his system. Goodbye courageous self.
With just one smile, Kyungsoo’s mind and body shuts down. “Fuck,” he grumbles and runs away, leaving Jongin with his lips parted in surprise, completely bothered from his sudden escape.
/
“You know, we saw that,” Baekhyun says as he ties his shoelaces with Sehun standing right beside him. The younger was holding his bag for him. Currently, they were near the school gates, just about to head home.
“Saw what?” Kyungsoo’s frown hasn’t left his face ever since lunch, right after his failed attempt at a confession. His arms were folded across his chest and he taps his foot on the ground impatiently. He wants to go home and bury his face in his pillow in shame. Nobody should know about what happened to him earlier. Not even his friends.
“You plus Jongin equals perfection!” Baekhyun announces perkily as he straightens up, admiring his neatly and perfectly tied shoes.
Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as the words sink in. Kyungsoo uncharacteristically throws himself on Baekhyun, clamping his hand on his friend’s mouth. “Shit! Lower down your volume Baekhyun!”
Baekhyun removes his hand and grumpily pouts at Kyungsoo. “But we saw you.”
“And you ran away,” Sehun stoically adds, which elevates Kyungsoo’s stress as the words run away slap him in the face.
“What the hell guys, were you stalking me?” Distressed, jumpy and anxious Kyungsoo asks in whisper-shout mode, his cautious eyes flicking at students passing them by because Jongin might pop out from randomly and see them. That would be a second disaster.
“Nope,” Baekhyun confirms with a firm shake of his head, “we just happened to be in the library and when we came out of the door, we saw your awkward shy self with Mr. Perfect so we watched the two of you.”
Sighing and persuading himself to not react further because what was done is done. Kyungsoo breathes in and out deeply, before accepting his fate for the day. “Okay, stop it. I don’t want to hear anymore of it.”
The sun is dipping, casting red, orange, pink and violets across the sky. Kyungsoo would usually admire it when he’s on his way home, but Sehun just had to ruin the beautiful scenery by emphasizing and repeating his unfortunate encounter with Jongin once again. “You ran away.”
Defeated and sulking internally, Kyungsoo faces the bricked wall and knocks his forehead on it in misery. “I know, and it sucks.”
“Really, sucks.” Sehun deadpans.
“You suck,” Baekhyun adds.
When he thinks he’s the only one who knows about his problem, it turns out to be quite the contrary.
/
A night of flipping and turning and rolling on bed doesn’t do him any good as he goes to school with a pair of bags under his eyes. Kyungsoo even loses his focus during lectures as he would always end up napping and he was even nearly caught by their terror of History teacher.
Thanks to Chanyeol sitting next to him who woke him up when needed, if not, he’ll definitely be sent to detention, and that in itself will surely prolong his lack of sleep even more.
But accompanied by the flipping and turning and rolling on his bed were thoughts of encouragement to push himself to man up and say the right words to Jongin. And due to excessive teasing courtesy of Baekhyun, and Sehun’s stoic remarks which annoy him more,
Kyungsoo’s motivation picks up. It was so odd that his friends’ unstoppable mockery would increase his determination to try to confess his feelings to Jongin again.
And since Chanyeol has only just come to know about it, his loud laughter intensifies Kyungsoo’s will more, so right after he eats lunch, he roams the hallways in search for a certain boy that has kept his mind in a mess every single day.
“Hey!” He found him after awhile. Kyungsoo calls out to him confidently and strides closer, ready to slip out the words from his mouth.
“Hi!” Jongin greets.
However, when the other smiles, he freezes. He fucking smiled a million megawatt smile and Kyungsoo might really be exaggerating right now, but Jongin just dyed his hair silver and how could he not have noticed it minutes earlier? Right, he has astigmatism and his throat is already itching for him to cuss out loud in front of him, but no, he must calm down himself. But Jongin is still smiling. He’s smiling and his eyes are sparkling, more beautiful and tantalizing than the stars blinking down at him during the night and his smile, his smile--
“Oh, I-I thought you were someone else-“ That quickly, Kyungsoo turns his back on him and marches down down the hallway, away, away, away from Jongin.
Then and again, Jongin’s smile wins as it defeats his will to confess once more.
One smile, and he died.
“Fuck!” He finally curses loudly, earning himself judging looks from the students he passes by.
/
No, Kyungsoo won’t just give up. He was born to make history and he still believes so. The previous night of berating and persuading himself to be brave when faced with Jongin’s killer smile doesn’t do him any good. When he sees it directed at him, it got him following after Jongin straight to the library. He calls out to him boldly as they arrived at the deepest part where the archives of old school newspapers were.
“J-Jongin!” He calls audibly and yes, he likes how the name rolls off his tongue. He wouldn’t mind saying the name of his object of affection countless of times no matter how weird it is. Standing still in between towering shelves, he stares at Jongin’s slouched back as he’s about to retrieve a newspaper from the rack.
Jongin turns to him, “Oh, it’s you,” and when recognition shows on his face along with that smile that makes Kyungsoo’s knees go weak, his confidence drains out in a second.
“Oh, shit-“ Kyungsoo blanches, googly eyes remain glued at Jongin’s imploring and worried ones.
“Are you okay, hyung?” The boy addresses him, hyung which was uncalled for and how the hell does he know about the one year age gap between them?
One
Two
“Hyung-“ Jongin is about to reach out his hand to him.
Three
With one smile and the other calling him hyung unexpectedly, those were good enough reasons for him to bolt out of the library doors.
/
He has only a few days left to confess before White day and he’s taking longer than expected. Kyungsoo can’t understand how easy it was for Sehun to confess to Baekhyun. The pair are now both clingy as koalas with each other all the time. Yes, unexpectedly, they are finally together and it’s not a surprise anymore - Kyungsoo was actually waiting for this day to come when he’d finally know that his two friends are finally dating. Took them long enough, by the way.
“I really don’t know how you did it,” Kyungsoo grumbles next to Sehun’s towering figure, earning himself a blank stare from the other male.
“I just did it,” Sehun’s quick reply came.
“But how?” Kyungsoo asks impatiently, combing up his long hair that actually called for a haircut.
“Hyung,” Sehun sighs and faces him fully, ready to give him a lecture about how-to-confess-to-your-crush-without-freaking-out-last-minute, but an arm slinging around his narrow shoulders interrupts them.
“I overheard your conversation and I think I have a good idea to help you out,” Chanyeol winks, a dimple smile on his face, which would usually convince anyone to depend on him, except for Kyungsoo who knows just how Chanyeol’s wicked ideas can be.
“I don’t need your help,” Kyungsoo retorts, rolling his eyes and scoffing at his friend’s attempt of saving him.
“Okay, so what’s the fuss?” Baekhyun appears from the shower room wearing his gym clothes.
Sehun proudly snakes an arm around his now official boyfriend and presses a kiss on top of his head. Who knew Sehun could be a sap like this when it comes to Baekhyun once they’re officially in a relationship.
“Baek, I know you’d agree with me to accompany Kyungsoo from the sidelines when he confesses to Jongin. Like moral support. I think he needs a visible moral support.”
“We can try that. I actually don’t mind.” Sehun nods and then buries his nose in Baekhyun’s tuft of hair.
Kyungsoo keeps on rolling his eyes at his friends and frowns. “That would just be suspicious.”
“I actually don’t mind too!” Baekhyun ignores Kyungsoo’s apprehensive response and grins mockingly. “So, shall we look for your prince charming, now?”
Kyungsoo groans and stomps on Chanyeol’s foot, earning him a shove from the taller guy. He smirks in victory. Yet, he throws a glare at Baekhyun after and gives up, sighing. “Fine, let’s try this stunt.”
Walking ahead of his friends, Kyungsoo thinks that maybe Chanyeol’s plan might be effective after all, so why not try it out?
/
After minutes of strolling around the campus with their gym clothes on, they finally spotted Jongin by the pool, sitting on one of the benches with a book in hand.
Just before Kyungsoo can stride towards Jongin, Baekhyun grabs his arm and pulls him back. “Just say it, okay? Just pretend he’s not there although he’s really there and say it straight to his face that you like him.”
“Wait,” Chanyeol interrupts, pushing them apart as he cuts between them. “I thought we’re going to accompany him? As in stay right beside him?”
“Well, Park Chanyeol,” Baekhyun raises a brow, a dangerous lilt in his voice, “Don’t you realize that it will be awkward for the two of them if we stay next to them? This is a vital part of Kyungsoo’s life in high school and we can’t fuck that up for him. How about you? Do you want us to stay right next to you when you confess to Seulgi?”
“Shit, you like Seulgi?” Kyungsoo can’t believe it, but Chanyeol just stays cool about it, rubbing the back of his neck and putting on a shy smile.
“Well, I understand. I guess, we’ll just be here by the back to watch you, Kyungsoo. And yes, I like her. Go now!” He shoos Kyungsoo away. “Go!”
Darting his eyes over to his friends before walking away to approach Jongin, the raging determination settling in the pit of his stomach sets ablaze like a fire getting bigger and bigger. It’s a good sign. And Kyungsoo just hopes this fiery fire of determination and confidence doesn’t dwindle at all once he faces his greatest weakness.
“Hi!” He greets, hands in his jogging pants pockets. Smooth move.
Jongin with his silver hair and thick rimmed glasses has Kyungsoo gasping a little. It’s an understatement to say that Jongin looks beautiful today, no matter what he wears and does with his body. He’s always beautiful. No, gorgeous. Or maybe there’s still a superlative form for those adjectives that describes him? Because just saying that he’s beautiful and gorgeous is not enough. Jongin has exceeded those adjectives already and Kyungsoo is just a poor boy who has to be killed every single day by Jongin’s ethereal beauty.
“Kyungsoo hyung,” Jongin closes his book, fiddling with his bookmark as he gives him a straight face. An unusual reaction to get from the boy, as compared to the previous times when he had tried to start a conversation with him.
“Uh, you okay?” Kyungsoo mentally pats himself on the back because he’s doing great these last few minutes. Maybe, his friends’ idea would really work this time.
Jongin flicks his eyes back to the cover of the book he was reading, a pout forming on his lips as he traces the edges of the hardbound. “I’m okay, but after reading chapter 16, I think I’m not anymore,” he sighs and whisks his head back in the direction of Kyungsoo. “Do you need something from me, hyung? Because the last few days, you know, you would always approach me, but later on would run away? D-Do you have something to tell me?”
Kyungsoo takes a lungful of air and exhaling as he plays with the sole of his shoe, arranging the words in his head first as he prepares to tell Jongin the truth to his failed attempts of confessing. “Well-“ his cheeks flare and he doesn’t know how to begin so he rubs his nape sheepishly to take more time to be coherent. “Actually-“ Here goes nothing...
Unfortunately, a quiet laughter resounds around the quiet pool area. It turns out, once he lifts his head up, Jongin’s wide smile is directed at him and only him, bright, beautiful, and stunning. A mega-watt smile, a million dollar one and Kyungsoo runs out of descriptions to describe that smile that weakens him to the bone.
“You’re so cute, hyung.”
Cute.
Frozen and in disbelief, Kyungsoo’s eyes rounds more in surprise. His thoughts are cluttered inside his head. He wants to berate Jongin for calling him cute because he’s not cute, he’s manly! But it’s Jongin. And anything that comes out from Jongin’s mouth paralyzes him, even if he tells him he’s cute.
“Hyung, are you okay-“ concern and worry is apparent from his tone of voice and his smile dims like a glaring sun suddenly being covered with thick dark clouds. But before Kyungsoo could answer, he makes a dash out of the pool area, ignoring Jongin’s frantic calls.
Stepping near the bush where his friends were hiding, Baekhyun was about to talk some sense to him, but he doesn’t want to hear anything from him or from the others about how he suddenly just ditched Jongin without even explaining his unpredictable behaviour.
Kyungsoo sees Sehun grabbing Baekhyun’s arm to stop him from doing anything. Chanyeol has a sad look on his face, but musters a tiny smile that might just stop Kyungsoo from leaving. But it doesn’t help. And from there, he leaves his friends and just lumbers towards the gym for their gym class.
/
Kyungsoo has been thinking about an alternative on how he'll be able to confess to Jongin and maybe ask him on a date right after. Twirling his pen in between his thumb and forefinger, his mind swirls with possibilities and impossibilities about each option he's been thinking about.
First option, just tell him straight to the face with his eyes closed. He ticks it off from his list. No, he doesn't want to look stupid in front of Jongin as he says the words.
Second, give him a love letter. Another huge cross mark on that one. He's too manly for that girly way of confessing like in those dramas and animes he sees his big brother loves watching. Just not that.
Third, shout at him from afar. No, nope. That's too attention grabbing. He prefers a private confession.
Fourth, get Jongin's number and confess. Or chat him up on Facebook and confess. No, it's not ideal.
Fifth, just tell it straight to his face. Biggest fail ever. He's been trying to do that for days, but Jongin's smile is too deadly, too unhealthy for his physical, emotional and mental being.
Sixth, confess to him with Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun right beside him, so if ever he tries to run away again, they'd be able to block him and maybe he would be able to tell his feelings then. Nope, nope, never. That would just make things awkward, so he puts a cross mark in bold on his list.
Too much thinking makes him sigh and drops his head haphazardly on his desk, his phone just an inch away from his face.
Self-loathing and self-pity would not help him continue his plans of confessing. Getting rejected or not, he has to do it. He doesn’t want to grow up remembering something he regretted doing in high school. So no matter how many times he had looked stupid in front of Jongin, he won’t back out. Not now. Not now since he has started it.
After hours of laying in bed, staring at the ceiling and washing out the negativity in his mind, he eventually grabs his phone and dials Baekhyun’s number. After seven rings, yes he counted, his friend picks up.
“Baekhyun, I need you to motivate me.” Kyungsoo’s greets seriously. Hello’s and hi’s weren’t needed. In times like this, you have to go straight to the point.
“Okay,” Baekhyun deep inhale could be heard, then a loud exhale comes. Kyungsoo grips on his phone, his shadow stills on the wall as his figure is bathed by the soft yellow light from his lampshade. “Just tell it straight to his face that you like him!”
“I can’t! Every time I do that he’d smile at me!” Kyungsoo’s comeback was loud. He then berates himself because it’s past 10PM and his family are all sleeping at this hour.
Baekhyun scoffs, “What’s even stopping you?”
“His fucking glorious, beautiful, scenic and stunning smile Baek!”
“Ha-ha! Very funny,”
“Yah! I’m asking for help, you moron!”
“Excuse me, you’re the moron between us, pft!”
“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes and spreads himself on the mattress once again. “So what do I do?”
“How about the actions speak louder than words strategy, huh?”
“What the heck will I do anyway?” He frowns at the ceiling and shifts forward to his nightstand to turn off his lamp.
“Kiss his lips or something! That’s an obvious giveaway that you like him!” Even Baekhyun sounds exasperated, but Kyungsoo cares less. He needs Baekhyun’s sass to motivate him more.
Kyungsoo kicks his blankets and groans. “I’m not gonna do that! That’s borderline harassment!”
“Then probably goodbye Kim Jongin, because I heard goody two-shoes Luhan is gonna confess to him too on White Day or maybe tomorrow. Bye!”
“What-Wait! Baekhyun! Yah! Baek fucking Byun!” Another acquired information. Another problem and this gets more problematic because Baekhyun really did hang up on him.
Tossing and turning in aggravation from learning that Luhan will most probably confess to Jongin only triggers him to confess as soon as possible.
Luhan, the Chinese student whom every student, teacher and staff adores, the pretty goody two-shoes guy. He can’t let the school’s Mr. Congeniality beat him. Not even the other girls in their school whom he knows have a crush on Jongin. He has to beat them all.
Part 2