[H78] THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF
Prompt Code: H78
Title: There’s Nothing To Be Afraid Of
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3658
Summary:There’s nothing to be afraid of even when the date is horrible. - Kim Jongin, 2016
AU: Based on the song Night Changes by One Direction
AN: here it is! my first fic in a long time so i hope everyone would give it a chance and would like it! a thousand thank yous to my beta even if you had no choice about it. hope you enjoy it ^^
As Kyungsoo puts his comb down on top of the dresser, he knew the night was just about to begin.
Just a few weeks ago, he stood right on this exact spot in his bedroom, in front of his mirror, staring at himself. However, a few weeks ago, he was prepping himself up to ask out the cute barista who part-times at his favorite coffee shop down the block.
Tonight, Kyungsoo is breathing words of encouragement to himself.
“It’s fine. Jongin agreed to go on this date,” Kyungsoo told himself. He remembered the way the other boy’s downturned lips turned into a full blown smile when Kyungsoo finally mustered enough courage to ask him out to dinner in between muttering his coffee order. “Everything will be fine.”
If people thought asking out the person they like is scary, they have no idea how much more scarier it is to face them on the actual real date and not disappoint them.
The buzzing from his phone was able to snap him out of whatever downward spiral Kyungsoo was entering himself into as he swiped to see his reminder: Pick Jongin up! Remember to smile!
He thought it would cheer him up, the reminder, but now Kyungsoo could feel the jitters of nerves at the idea that maybe, Jongin wouldn’t want to go on another date after this. There is that burning thought that he would disappoint, that he wouldn’t live up to Jongin’s expectations because Kyungsoo isn’t really that interesting and that’s just a fact.
After a few minutes, Kyungsoo had his phone and wallet carefully tucked inside his small backpack, while his car keys were in his hands. The night was young and the weather was cold, not a lot of cars passing by in his quiet neighbourhood. If anyone would pause and listen enough, they would probably hear the way his chest was about to burst.
Paolo de Maria was a well-known Italian restaurant tucked in the busy streets of Itaewon. The classic design of the small restaurant was even more beautiful and homely inside with the regular square tables draped in white and red cloth.
“Wow, hyung! I didn’t know a place like this existed in Seoul!” Jongin told him when they sat on their table, one situated in the middle because Kyungsoo’s poor budget could not afford him one at the balcony or in the corner.
“This is one of my favorite Italian restaurants,” Kyungsoo had the urge to bite his bottom lip at the thought that Jongin wouldn’t share the same sentiment about his favorite place. “It’s not cheap but I like to splurge on good food.” He doesn’t add the fact that he won’t be eating here for 3 months because he’s spending his savings on this one.
But the way Jongin smiled, warm and like melted ice cream on a sunny day, Kyungsoo feels a bit of the burden easing away. “I love it, hyung. What should we get? I can eat anything so don’t worry about me.”
Now food, that was something Kyungsoo had no worries about. He immediately launched into a description of each of his favorites, suggesting which ones he loved best and which ones Jongin should try. Kyungsoo was so engrossed in his passionate speech about italian dishes, he fails to notice the way Jongin was looking at him as if he was the best menu the restaurant had to offer.
In between Kyungsoo’s Pennoni di barbabietola alla vellutata di vongole veraci and Jongin’s Paccheri verdi fatti in casa all’amatriciana di paolodemaria, they were discussing how Jongin’s shoes were almost ravaged by Monggu that night, the dog unamused that his owner was abandoning them when they would usually have their walk out..
“Should we buy Monggu and his brothers some treats? I feel bad for taking you away from Monggu,” Kyungsoo smiled, actually feeling a little bad that Jongin had abandoned his dogs because of him. He knew the boy loved his dogs, it was obvious with the way he was talking about them and the numerous photos in his phone.
“Hey, hyung,” Jongin shook his head, his black hair surprisingly following his movement, as if the boy didn’t have enough time to style his hair up tonight. “Don’t feel bad. Monggu’s just spoiled like that and besides, I had Sehun walk them along with his pet Vivi.”
Kyungsoo smiled, carefully twirling his fork in his pasta and wondering what he should talk about after. The reminder that he was the one who asked out the boy in front of him was like a burning rock at the bottom of his stomach. He has all the responsibilities on his tiny shoulders to make it fun, to make it interesting and to make the night memorable. Kyungsoo needs to make Jongin want to go on another date with him (permanently, hopefully).
But before he had anytime to fill the sudden pause in the air, before they had anytime to open up a new topic of conversation like Jongin’s job at the cafe or Jongin’s sisters, there was a burning bright orange in his vision.
“Hyung!” and “Sir!” rang throughout the restaurant as someone’s Galletti verdi alla crema di arance e gamberi dripped from Kyungsoo’s head.
There was a hand on his shoulder and a towel on his head along with a thousand apologies muttered by the server who tripped beside him, causing Kyungsoo’s hair to be re-styled with hot orange cream sauce. The next things he knows, he was being led to the bathroom by the manager, a change of shirt on his arms and ushered inside a cubicle.
“We deeply apologize for the inconvenience, sir. Rest assured that our staff will be punished accordingly. To apologize, your dinner with your date tonight will be free as well as your next visit.” The manager spoke outside the cubicle, feet visible under the door.
But Kyungsoo didn’t need the apology or for the server to be punished (he could even wave away the free meal), what he needed was for the sauce to be back on its place and delivered to whoever ordered it. Because being showered in hot sauce was not in Kyungsoo’s plan for the night nor was it in the list of topics he prepared.
“Thank you for the shirt,” Kyungsoo told the manager when he opened the door. He looked presentable now, but he still needed to get home and wash his hair because it was not something he wanted to do in a restaurant’s public bathroom. “And you don’t have to punish your server, I’m fine.”
When they went back to the table, their plates were cleared and Jongin was sitting down, his feet tapping the floor. As soon as he caught sight of Kyungsoo, he stood up and walked over with a look in his eyes that Kyungsoo wasn’t particularly sure what word to use to describe the expression with .
“Are you… okay, hyung?” Jongin asked, looking at him from head to toe. Worried, that’s the expression Kyungsoo was looking for. “The sauce was hot and it fell directly on your head. Should we go to the hospital, hyung?”
Kyungsoo can only shake his head. Jongin was worried about him. Worried was not on the list of expressions he wanted to see on the boy tonight; excited and nervous maybe, but not worried. “I’ll drive you home, come on.”
The drive was quiet, which was saying something because of the awkward silence they had during the ride to the restaurant. Kyungsoo was moping and he knew it. He felt a little out of it because this date was his only chance with Jongin after spending more than a month gathering the courage to tell the younger how he feels.
Now it was ruined.
“Thanks for the meal, hyung.” Jongin said when they arrived in front of the boy’s apartment complex. “I really enjoyed it.”
You don’t have to lie. Kyungsoo smiled, “Thank you for the date, Jongin. I appreciate it.”
When Jongin got off the car, hands on the door, the boy leaned inside and added, “Let’s have another one soon, hyung.” Then the door was closed and Jongin was running to his apartment.
Kyungsoo didn’t quite understand what happened, but he thought that Jongin was probably only being nice. So he continued driving again and hoped that his hair could still be salvaged.
It wasn’t. A week later, Kyungsoo was sporting a shorter cut and a broken heart. He spent the week getting coffee from the nearest Starbucks instead of his favorite cafe down the block, thus hasn’t seen Jongin since their disastrous first date a week ago. Jongin hasn’t messaged him either so Kyungsoo took this as a sign that their first date is their one and only date.
At least, that was until Kyungsoo got home and saw a figure sitting down on his doorsteps, holding what seems to be a paper cup. When he got closer, he realized it wasn’t just anyone else’s figure.
“Jongin?” Kyungsoo called warily and almost jumped in surprise when the boy looked up and it was Jongin. “What are you doing here?”
Jongin looked at him and then at his hair. “You got it cut, hyung?”
“Yeah…” Kyungsoo remembered how Baekhyun snickered and told him he looked straight out of a military brochure (does the military even have brochures?). “Is it that bad? The sauce was sticky even after washing it four times so my barber thought it would be better to just cut it off and let it grow again…”
Shaking his head immediately, Jongin smiled a little. “It looks good on you, hyung.” And for a second, or a minute, they just stared at each other, the other waiting for the other to talk, both unblinking, as the tension thickened between them until Jongin almost dropped the paper cup he was holding. “Oh, this is for you. You, uh, haven’t been to the coffee shop in a week and I, uh, thought that… “
“Thank you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo took the cup from Jongin’s hand and almost died at the contact. Seriously, he can’t believe how nice Jongin is being, he honestly doesn’t deserve this, not after their disastrous first date. “Doesn’t explain why you’re here though? Unless you came here to bring me coffee… which is already good. Thank you, I’ll just grab my wallet and - ”
“I’m not asking for money, hyung!” Jongin interrupted, shaking his head profusely, as if the thought was offending. “Although, I may… want… something in exchange.”
“Oh… sure, Jongin. What did you want?” Kyungsoo asked.
Grinning widely, Jongin answered him with a question of his own, “How free are you tonight, hyung?”
Jongin’s payment, it turned out, was Kyungsoo’s company to the amusement park.
Kyungsoo just went inside the house to drop his bag off, nervous at the thought that Jongin was in his living room. In his living room. So he hurriedly grabbed his wallet and phone then a jacket to wear over his top.
And off they went.
To their second date.
Kyungsoo can’t believe his luck.
Now if only Kyungsoo’s heart would stop thundering like crazy.
“What should we ride first, hyung?” Jongin was like an excited puppy, bouncing on his heels as they enter the amusement park, the loud voices of people from different rides vibrating around them. “Vikings? Tea cups? Oh, let’s try the flume ride first!”
Kyungsoo grinned, letting Jongin lead the way with their fingers intertwined. He doesn’t understand why his heartbeat was racing (lies, he knows why) but he hopes Jongin doesn’t feel it.
They did end up riding the flume ride first, laughters ringing whenever the car made a drop. Then they fell in line to ride bumper cars, giggling as Jongin accused Kyungsoo of cheating. Before they went to ride the bungee drop, they each bought cotton candies while walking towards the line, discussing any fear of heights the other might’ve had. On the way to the Giant Loop, Kyungsoo spotted a churros vendor and bought each of them the snack.
“You sure do like sweets, hyung.” Jongin laughed out loud at Kyungsoo’s look. “The churros is good. Do you know how to make these at home?”
Kyungsoo nodded, “Yeah. I used to make churros for myself when I still had the time.”
Without missing a chance, Jongin eagerly asked, “Can you make me some churros sometime, hyung?”
Kyungsoo tries not to let the thought that Jongin still wants to see him after this foster inside of him. So he nods instead, and definitely does not imagine the two of them curled up on his couch on a winter night, eating churros with his fireplace burning and the warmth between them shared.
Everything was going well, Kyungsoo is happy to note. But when they get on the roller coaster, seat belt fastened, he felt something weird. It wasn’t just feeling anything weird. There was a weird bubbling in the pit of his stomach and in his guts. He was starting to feel cold and not because of the fact that they were high up in the air with just pieces of metal making sure they stay grounded.
The turning and turning did not help either and Kyungsoo knew what was coming the moment he steps on solid, flat ground. He wished he could stop it, but knew he wouldn’t be able to spare any few minutes or even seconds before the inevitable happens.
When the ride ended and they were both safely on the ground, Jongin looked excitedly at him, “Hyung, that was so - ”
And then Kyungsoo vomits all over the floor.
There’s something entirely uncomfortable with knowing that the person beside you in the small space of the car had seen you empty your guts out on the floor. Or the fact that there was probably a lingering smell of your vomit that stuck to your clothes.
Kyungsoo tries his hardest not to look at Jongin through the mirror as he backed on the parking lot. But Jongin was looking out the window anyway so that helped a little, but Kyungsoo didn’t know if that was a good sign or not.
As if getting drenched in orange pasta sauce wasn’t bad on your first date, vomiting all over the ground in a public place on the second date was overkill. Kyungsoo thanks small miracles that he didn’t get anything on Jongin’s shoes.
When Kyungsoo stops in front of Jongin’s apartment complex, the other boy removes his seat belt and looks at him worriedly. Again.
“Are you alright, hyung? Please drink some warm soup later before bed, okay?” Jongin smiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow in the cafe?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t trust his voice so he just smiles. Luckily,, Jongin took that as an agreement that he will drop by the cafe tomorrow as the younger opens the passenger door to leave. Jongin waves at him until his car has driven off the street.
Of course Kyungsoo was not going back to the cafe.
And Kyungsoo was only slightly (read: very) disappointed he won’t be making churros for Jongin.
Kyungsoo eventually gives in and finally enters the cafe on a Saturday afternoon, a week after the ‘incident’. He sees Jongin manning one of the cash registers so Kyungsoo makes a beeline for the other one, Sehun’s poker face greeting him as he walks up to the counter.
“Why are you in front of me, Soo hyung?” Sehun demands, an eyebrow raised.
“Uh, because I need coffee?” Kyungsoo takes out his cash and recites his usual order, but after a few seconds and Sehun hasn’t punched it in, he looks at the boy. “Sehun? I kind of need my coffee?”
Sehun rolls his eyes and luckily punches in his order and writes his name on his cup. Unfortunately, Sehun hands it over to Jongin, “Here, you know Kyungsoo hyung’s order by heart so you should make it for him.” Then he grabs Kyungsoo’s cash and hands him his change.
Speechless at Sehun’s actions, Kyungsoo moves over to the counter and waits for Jongin to hand him his drink. When the other boy does, he doesn’t let go of the cup immediately so Kyungsoo looked up.
“Do you want to go ice skating, hyung?”
The problem with ice skating is that Kyungsoo has 0 balance. True, he can dance and walk without tripping over air, but it doesn’t mean he can balance on two blades attached to the bottom of his shoes. As a kid, he never got the hang of bikes or scooters and definitely not skates.
“Just hold onto my hands, hyung. You shouldn’t just stay in that corner forever!” Jongin tells him, eyes bright with mirth as he skates backwards. “Come on, I’ll teach you!”
Unlike Kyungsoo, Jongin can skate and he skates well. Apparently being a dancer, he had acquired great balance that Kyungsoo doesn’t have. So the younger boy twirled and jumped and skated along the thin ice, managing to awe not just Kyungsoo but almost everyone else within the vicinity.
“I promise I won’t let go of your hand, hyung.” Jongin took Kyungsoo’s shaking hands and led him slowly.
Kyungsoo knew he was being stiff, feet being dragged and Jongin carrying most of his weight. But he knew that if he tried anything, he would most definitely end up flailing his hands as he tries to gain his balance. But Jongin still held on, lead him and made sure they were upright as they made the journey towards the middle of the rink.
“See? You’re making huge improvements, hyung!” Jongin told him excitedly, “Maybe, in a few minutes, you’ll even be able to skate on your own!”
But of course, Kyungsoo never expected to get this date right.
In a matter of seconds, as Kyungsoo looked up to give Jongin a smile, his foot caught on ice and he lost his balance. Jongin tried to balance the both of them, tried to hold onto him, but failed. Soon, the two of them were on the floor, except Kyungsoo doesn’t feel the cold texture of the ice he was expecting.
Because when he opens his eyes, he sees a checkered shirt instead. In fact, it was Jongin’s checkered shirt.
“Holy - Jongin?” Kyungsoo slides up, his legs hitting the ice, feeling a burn on his knees. “Jongin? Are you okay?” He frantically moves to the boy’s head and sees red.
Oh what amazing luck would it be to end your night with your date’s nose bleeding?
Kyungsoo’s luck, apparently.
Jongin wasn’t hurt, at least not too much. Kyungsoo still had to help the boy to the first aid station, carefully applying the ointment and handing the boy a dab of cotton to use on his nose. He pretends he doesn’t feel his hands shake at the thought that just minutes ago, he could see blood running down Jongin’s nose because of him.
“Hey,” Jongin grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand, stopping his hands from shaking. “You’re shaking, hyung.”
Okay so maybe Kyungsoo was obvious, a bit more than obvious, really.
“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo sighs, putting down his hand and laying it across his lap. “I just… I’m sorry.”
“For?” Jongin asked, looking ridiculously handsome even though he has cotton shoved up his nose.
“Just.” Kyungsoo raised his hand and gestured to Jongin.
“For asking me out on a date?” Jongin concluded.
“Was me gesturing my hand towards your bloody nose a sign of me regretting to ask you out on a date?” Kyungsoo asked, sounding extremely serious until he saw Jongin’s lips turn upright to a small smile. “What?”
“It’s just. Why do you keep beating yourself up for it, hyung?” Jongin moves closer to Kyungsoo, but ends up getting a pinch on his side. “Hyung!”
“Jongin, we’ve gone to a total of three dates and I’ve already gotten sauce on my head, vomited in front of you and now caused your nose to bleed. I wouldn’t say these would make me an ideal candidate to win the perfect date award,” Kyungsoo shakes his head, making out to clean up the first aid kit. “It’s like the universe is saying we don’t work well together.”
“Or,” Jongin moves closer to Kyungsoo again and luckily does not get a pinch on his side for the effort. “That we should probably talk it out and not run away whenever our date ends badly, hyung? How about it?”
“You’re crazy.” Kyungsoo can’t process what the other meant.
“Our dates are exciting, hyung. Admit it.” Jongin grins. “So how about making use of the long weekend coming up and going on a road trip with me? I’ll even drive for us.”
Kyungsoo shakes his head, but ends up agreeing anyway, “Deal.”
(They end up getting flagged by a police car because Jongin drove too fast and when he got asked for his license, he apparently forgot it at home. Kyungsoo had to apologize profusely and promise he won’t let the other boy drive anymore, just so they could get out of getting a ticket.
“Well that was exciting.” Jongin announces when they start moving again, the younger back on the passenger seat.
Kyungsoo doesn’t look at him but rolls his eyes instead, “Yes, getting caught driving over the speed limit and forgetting your driver’s licence is exciting. Wow.”)
((Kyungsoo, also, does make churros for Jongin during Winter, the boy enjoying the treat and ending up eating more than he should’ve. They ended up spending an hour in the bathroom with Jongin’s face down the bowl and the other hour curled up by the fireplace, blanket covering them.
At least, that’s where they were before Jongin accidentally moved the blanket and it caught on fire.
Oh well.))
No, Kyungsoo doesn’t regret asking Jongin out. A bad first date? There was nothing to be afraid of, it seems, because the next dates were just as worse. But also just as exciting
Five dates down, a fuckton more to go.