[D63] OF ASTIGMATISM AND GREASE
Prompt Code: D63
Title: Of Astigmatism and Grease
Rating: PG-13
Side Pairings (if any): Mentions of Suchen & Chanbaek
Warnings: NIL
Word Count: 3737
Summary: In which Kyungsoo breaks his glasses twice (blame his choice of friends) and scores a hot doctor with greasy lines, all in 24 hours.
AN: To the lovely prompter, I hope I have done your prompt justice.
It was a little after 8pm and Kyungsoo wishes for nothing more than to be able to go to bed and call it a day. Unfortunately, his roommate was no other than the loud mouth, Kim Jongdae.
This also means that his wish will not be fulfilled anytime soon.
If Jongdae was not his roommate, Kyungsoo was certain that he would have been in dreamland by now.
There has never been a peaceful moment in the apartment ever since Jongdae moved in and by the end of their first week rooming together, Kyungsoo stopped threatening and putting Jongdae into chokeholds when he realized that nothing could be done to keep the boy quiet.
To this day, Kyungsoo finds it amazing how Jongdae has no single ounce of fear in himself for him.
“But baby, my love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in,” giggles Jongdae as he enters their shared bedroom.
He hears more shuffling and the sounds of the bed to his right creaking before his roommate speaks up again, this time in a low croaky fashion that always makes Kyungsoo gag.
Apparently Jongdae’s rich boyfriend, Junmyeon, finds it sexy when he uses that voice and once even got off from it when they tried phone sex.
(Never ask Kyungsoo how he found that out by the way.)
Kyungsoo however thinks that it makes his friend sound like a dying frog. Of course he does not voice that out, At least Jongdae has someone he could make sexy frog voices to.
Not Kyungsoo.
“Aww, babe! You’re so sweet you put Hershey’s out of business!” squeals Jongdae as he thrashes around in bed.
This is what Kyungsoo’s life has been reduced into. Every night, he would have to put up with Jongdae’s nightly phone calls with his boyfriend of five months. Kyungsoo would be fine with the calls if the pair were a normal couple.
But no, Junmyeon and Jongdae has been exchanging pick-up lines since the night they made it official and listening to their exchange had somehow became a part of Kyungsoo’s nightly routine.
The first time Kyungsoo heard a greasy line come out of his usually snarky friend’s mouth had been so unbearable that he could not look Jongdae in the eyes the next few days.
If pick-up lines were a subject, he would definitely graduate the class with straight As thanks to months of listening to never-ending new pick-up lines.
“If you were a transformer, you’d no doubt be my Optimus Fine.”
What the hell?
Kyungsoo sprang up from his bed and threw a pillow at what he thinks is Jongdae’s head but misses horribly. He has no idea where his spectacles are at; they are probably lying on the floor somewhere in the apartment but he’ll worry about that tomorrow morning.
“What the fuck?” he mutters in disgust at Jongdae’s blurred figure and gets flipped in return.
“Gotta go now Junnie, someone’s being salty again,” Jongdae sighs, “See you tomorrow baby. Can’t wait to meet you and give you my heart and-“
Kyungsoo was so ready to hurl his phone at his friend out of sheer disgust but was stopped mid-air by a sudden series of frantic banging on the front door.
Soon, Baekhyun’s slurred voice can be heard throughout the small apartment and any sane person should know that a drunken Baekhyun is not a good Baekhyun.
Muttering a string of curses under his breath, Kyungsoo makes a mad dash for the living room in all his blind glory. They cannot afford to get caught by the RA for being noisy yet again or their apartment will go into the dorm’s books of misconduct for the third time this semester.
The first time happened because Jongdae could not stop crying his lungs when Junmyeon did not reply to his texts for an hour. Two weeks later, they got written down again because Baekhyun would not stop belting out to Taylor Swift’s ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ after a petty argument with his abnormally tall boyfriend.
“Shut it, Byun!” Kyungsoo whispers angrily as soon as he pulls the door open.
Baekhyun blinks exactly two times slowly before a dopey smile carves its way across thin lips.
“My Li-l-ittle n-nugget... w-why so angry?” Baekhyun frowns before hiccupping, “T-Tell me who made you sad! I... I’ll f-fight ‘em for you!“
Taking in a deep breath while resisting the urge to knock Baekhyun out cold, Kyungsoo dragged his other roommate in by the ear and did not let go until the blabbering boy was deposited onto their shaggy brown couch.
Heaving in a deep sigh, Kyungsoo furiously rubbed his palms against his tired eyes and turned to make his way back to bed.
That was when he heard the sound of something so fragile, and so precious breaking under the weight of something so useless, and so horrible.
Kyungsoo turned and instantly screamed bloody terror.
“BYUN BAEKHYUN, YOU BROKE MY GLASSES!”
The night ended with their apartment’s number being inked into the books of misconduct for the third time that semester -
(“Oh hey look, now we’re even!” Jongdae cackles as Do Kyungsoo gets written in angry red ink.)
- and Kyungsoo mourning for the loss of his chic classic black glasses.
//
His last class of the day finally came to a close and Kyungsoo hurriedly stuffed his belongings into his backpack, excited that the weekends are finally here. He smiles to himself just at the thought of finishing the anime he started on two days ago.
Pushing his (ugly) spare glasses up his nose bridge, Kyungsoo happily hums as he waits for Jongdae to finish packing up. His temporary bliss however broke when he heard his old professor’s scratchy voice calling for him.
Always the sweet student, Kyungsoo descended down the stairs as fast as he could with his eyes glued to his feet. His spare glasses are not exactly helping much but hey, he would take whatever he gets.
“Yes, Sir?” Kyungsoo asks and sweetly smiles, a little bit breathless from rushing down the steps.
Pursing his lips with his forehead scrunched up, it took Professor Lee quite a while before he finally opened his mouth. And when he did, Kyungsoo had to take a step back out of pure shock.
“You’ve been glaring at me throughout the whole two hours Kyungsoo. May I know why? Was it because I gave you your first B last week?”
Dumbfounded, Kyungsoo could only stare at the old man in shock.
“You should know better that the report you sent in wasn’t even deserving of a B. I would have given you a C, but I didn’t because you’re the only student who listens to me.” He angrily whispers the last part.
“But Professor I-“
“No excuses Kyungsoo. If you got beef with me, you should be a man and talk to me! Not glare at me from 10 metres up the room!”
Kyungsoo hears Jongdae’s wicked cackling echoing through the now empty room and makes a mental note to hurt him later.
“No no, Professor Lee I don’t got beef with you! I just... can’t see well today,” Kyungsoo hurriedly clarified, “My glasses broke last night so I had to wear my old pair. So yes, I definitely don’t got beef with you Sir.”
Even with poor eyesight, Kyungsoo could see red start colouring his Professor’s face. The old man fumbled around with the stray papers lying messily across his desk before shoving a multi-colored tacky poster into Kyungsoo’s chest.
For healthy learning, a healthy vision is a need!
Come get your free eye check this month at the Courtyard and retrieve your 20/20 vision again!
With a suffocating series of coughs accompanied by a flick of a wrist, Kyungsoo was dismissed.
“Go,” grunted the old man as an embarrassed Kyungsoo shuffles over to where a snorting Jongdae was waiting for him by the door.
After reading the contents of the poster and chortling unattractively, Jongdae slings an arm over an irritated and embarrassed Kyungsoo before laughing some more.
“Don’t be embarrassed my little blind Soo! We can go get your eyes checked at the courtyard after this!”
Least to say, Jongdae had to nurse his bruised wrists with an ice bag all day long.
//
On Fridays after their last class at 2pm, Jongdae and Kyungsoo can usually be found lying under the large Oakwood tree at the entrance of their campus while they wait for their other housemate.
Heaving a sigh of pure pleasure, Kyungsoo removed his glasses and placed them on top of his backpack neatly before closing his eyes and smiling. The weather is particularly good today, he thinks to himself as he appreciates the feeling of breeze running through his locks.
Jongdae was animatedly recounting a movie he saw with Junmyeon last week while Kyungsoo nodded and let out a few hums whenever necessary. Honestly, he could not care less about Zootopia but if it keeps Jongdae occupied, he will take it.
“But Junmyeon just had to sleep and, oh no I take it back! He did not just sleep!” Jongdae’s eyes widened furiously as he places his injured hand on his chest carefully, “He snored in the theatres Kyungsoo! Can you believe this blasphemy?”
Yawning, Kyungsoo nods again before replying with a curb yes.
“You aren’t even listening to me ugh why do I even-“
“Hello, babies!”
“-bother talking to you - Hey, ouch! Baekhyun get off me right now! Ow!” howled a pained Jongdae.
Cackling evilly, Baekhyun moved over to roll towards Kyungsoo in an attempt to snuggle with his little nugget only to be met with a look of fear in the said nugget’s eyes.
Kyungsoo had only managed to push himself up by his elbows when he heard the sound he has come to hate with all his heart.
Crack.
There goes his only other pair of spectacles.
Kyungsoo took in deep calculated breaths before clenching his eyes tight, trying to imitate the breathing exercise for short-tempered people he saw online.
Releasing the tension in his balled up fists, Kyungsoo re-opens his eyes only to be greeted with two very scared faces.
“I told you to lay off the late night bacon and chips didn’t I?” Jongdae harshly whispered as he repetitively knocked on his pained back with his good hand, “And please stop jumping on me and jump on Chanyeol instead.”
Baekhyun was so offended he did not know whether to tell Jongdae off for implying him being fat or his incapability of jumping on his crush first. In the end, he resorted to gaping like a fish out of water.
Not wanting to deal with the ridiculous scene unfolding before his eyes, Kyungsoo relents to fate and says, “Jongdae, just please take me to the eye check already.”
//
With Baekhyun holding his left hand and Jongdae holding his right, Kyungsoo was safely escorted to their school’s courtyard without bumping into any pillars or tripping across any pebbles or rocks.
Every year, a mobile eye clinic would pay a visit to their college and Kyungsoo is more than grateful that Baekhyun chose to break both his glasses during this period of the academic year. The checks are free of charge too and Do Kyungsoo loves everything free.
“Kyungsoo, can you please stop glaring at the poor nurse?” Baekhyun murmurs into his ears as they wait for Kyungsoo’s turn after Jongdae, “Nugget please!”
Belated realizing his actions, Kyungsoo lets out an unmanly squeak before flashing a sheepish smile at the now bewildered nurse. He mouths a small sorry to him before rubbing at the nape of his now reddening neck.
All he wanted to know was the nurse’s name for crying out loud.
A few minutes later, a dazed-looking Jongdae stumbles out of the room where the check-up takes place and oh gross is that drool on his chin?
“The fuck happened to you Jongdae?” hissed a disgusted Baekhyun.
“Guys... you know how I always say my daddy Junmyeon is the hottest?” starts Jongdae, “I was so wrong. I want Doctor Kim to be my daddy now.”
Feeing a headache coming out from hearing how Doctor Kim is so tall and handsome as hell unlike Jongdae’s short and pale boyfriend, Kyungsoo took it upon himself to enter the room.
I should’ve picked better friends.
//
Grumbling about his shitty choice of friends and even shittier eyesight, Kyungsoo roughly opens the door with complains continuously streaming out of his pouty lips.
He carelessly steps into the room and bumps headfirst into something very hard and very firm, yet very soft. Something that vaguely reminds him of his favorite pillow back at home.
Ah, it smells good too, Kyungsoo purrs as he nuzzles his face into the very nice thing he bumped into.
When he heard a deep (and sexy) chuckle right next to his ear, Kyungsoo immediately ceased his nuzzles and jumped back.
Indeed, the thing he bumped into was so tall and handsome as hell and Kyungsoo thinks that angels do exist after all.
The angel before him laughs with his head thrown back before flashing him a large grin.
“I’m flattered but no, I’m no angel. You can just call me Doctor Kim.”
“And you can call me tonight,” Kyungsoo shamelessly rasps out as he continues gaping at the angel presented before him.
Doctor Kim bursts into even louder peals of laughter before reaching forward to lead a stunned and blinded Kyungsoo to the examination chair by his arms.
Once Kyungsoo has settled into his seat, Doctor Kim moves to sit on the chair next to him. Up-close, Doctor Kim looks even more surreal and all Kyungsoo wants is for his vision to be fixed as fast as possible so he could appreciate the man’s ethereal beauty in even higher definition.
“So Kyungsoo, how can I help you today?” Doctor Kim questions him with a sickeningly sweet smile.
“I think something's wrong with my eyes. I just can't take them off you."
Kyungsoo swoons some more when the Greek god of a doctor lets his head fall forward as he chuckles with a slight shake of his head.
“Did the sun come out or did you just smile?” gawks Kyungsoo as his heart begins to palpitate even faster.
“Have you always been this cute or did you have to work at it?” replies an unfazed Doctor Kim while Kyungsoo tries his best to figure out the name of his angel with squinted eyes.
“And my name is Kim Jongin so stop straining your eyes like that Kyungsoo. It’s no good,” scolds the beautiful bronzed man as he snaps his fingers in front of Kyungsoo’s eyes to stop him from squinting even more.
“Let’s first begin with the eye chart shall we? It’s Do Kyungsoo, am I right?” Jongin speaks as he flips through his patients’ file.
“Ah, that’s the thing about my last name,” Kyungsoo started while fiddling with the hem of his shirt.
Jongin just hums in reply as he continues to look through Kyungsoo’s document.
“Can I change it to yours?”
Kyungsoo giggles with bright red cheeks as Jongin froze mid-air from closing the thick file.
"Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?”
“Nope,” Jongin smiles as he stand to return the file to its shelf. “Photography is not allowed in the examination room, Kyungsoo."
“Well Doctor, does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.”
“Well Kyungsoo, I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.”
Kyungsoo nods approvingly at that. He thinks this fine man is the perfect candidate for him to make sexy frog voices to.
After the eye chart came the part where Kyungsoo would need to move onto the next station across the room. He blindly got off the high chair and ended up tripping over the wires attached to the machines on the linoleum floors. It was worth the fall though because now he has Doctor Kim’s strong arms wrapped firmly around his waist.
“Oh my god, boyfriend material!” squeals Kyungsoo as he desperately clings onto Doctor Kim’s white coat.
“Careful there gorgeous. Wouldn’t want any scratches on that beautiful milky skin now don’t we?” Doctor Kim greasily raises an eyebrow as he stares at Kyungsoo’s opened mouth.
With arms never leaving his waist, Kyungsoo was gently maneuvered to the next testing station leaving him to melt over and over again.
“You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick-up line,” confessed a swooned and still blinded but now safely seated Kyungsoo.
Jongin lets out another hearty laugh before squatting to level himself with Kyungsoo, “You’re too sweet Kyungsoo. Can I call you sugar instead?”
“I told you you can call me tonight!” quips an over-excited Kyungsoo.
Jongin flashes him another of his signature crooked smirk before carefully cradling his face to align his eyes with the device.
“Oh and Doctor? Would you please hold this for me while I get checked?” Kyungsoo brazenly holds out his left hand for Jongin to hold with round pleading eyes.
Not knowing how to say no to his sugar, Jongin haughtily complies when his insides were actually crumbling from the cuteness that is Do Kyungsoo.
For once, Kyungsoo was serious about the eye check-up even when all he wanted was to nuzzle his face into Jongin’s big and warm palms.
“And we’re done for the day!” claps Doctor Kim as he moves towards the sink to dispose his gloves and to wash his hands. Seeing Jongin bended over the mini sink, Kyungsoo too this as a chance to use yet another one of the greasy lines he acquired on Jongin.
“Uh, so why don’t you work for Domino’s instead?”
“Huh?” Jongin turns to look at him with confusion, “I’ve always wanted to be a-“
“Cause you have a fine pizza ass.”
Jongin turns of the tap with shoulders furiously shaking with bouts of laughter. He then bends forward to hold onto his stomach as he keeps doubling up as he recalls all the pick-up lines Kyungsoo has used on him over the past half an hour.
“Oh sugar, you’re too sweet for this world,” Jongin approaches Kyungsoo with the biggest smile on his face. Jongin holds out both his hands to help Kyungsoo up and the latter decided right then and there that Kim Jongin has the best hands.
“Also, we have done your necessary eyes tests so how about I see you out now and we can get your new glasses ordered outside?”
Kyungsoo shyly bites on his bottom lip before nodding, albeit reluctantly. He does not want to go separate ways with his angel just yet but he thinks he can persuade Baekhyun to break his new glasses again just for the sake of it.
They were a few steps away to the door when Kyungsoo feels a tug on his wrist.
He looks back to see Jongin looking at his shoes and then their now naturally joined hands before staring at his shoes once again.
‘What is it, Doctor?” Kyungsoo laughs, finding Jongin’s sudden antics weird.
“You see, I’m actually writing a phone-book as a hobby. So can I have your number please?”
Kyungsoo screams out a yes and began reciting his digits at a speed he never once knew he possessed. They continued smiling while stealing glances at one another before a knock on the door pulled them out of their little world.
“Is everything okay in there Doctor Kim?” questions a voice whom Kyungsoo supposes was the nurse he had accidentally glared at just now.
“Y-yes, everything’s fine Minseok! Just w-wrapping things up in here!”
Kyungsoo giggles over how he has managed to reduce the once suave Doctor Kim into a big stuttering mess and giggles some more when he notices how they are still holding hands.
Now, how does he get Doctor Kim to ask him out?
//
“Why the fuck is he taking so long?”
“What the fuck, is that Kyungsoo giggling?”
Jongdae and Baekhyun have been waiting in the cramped mobile for over forty minutes now and for someone who loathes eye checks, Kyungsoo seems to be taking too long.
When Kyungsoo re-appears though, he came out holding hands with an Adonis Greek god and sent a wink over to his gaping friends.
(“That sneaky little bitch, I saw him first!” a salty Jongdae silently seethes.
“Go get him, nugget!” squeals a proud Baekhyun.)
As Jongin talked to Nurse MInseok about Kyungsoo’s eye test results, Kyungsoo could only look at him in wonder and amazement. He could not wait for their dinner date already. He must have saved a country in his past life to score a date with a young and hot doctor, he figured.
“Nurse Kwon will show you to our shop later so I guess, this is it for now?” Jongin grabs his other hand before swinging them back and forth.
Eyes scrunching into half-moons, Kyungsoo lets out a cute little snort before mumbling an embarrassed yes.
They exchanged goodbyes and slowly released their hold on each other before Kyungsoo waddled his way back to his friends in daze.
“Oh hold on, Kyungsoo!” Jongin calls out for him before moving to close the distance between them.
“I think you have something in your eyes,” Jongin brushed a few stray hairs away from Kyungsoo’s round eyes, “Oh how silly of me, they are just sparkles.”
Kyungsoo makes a noise akin to a groan and a wail while thinking yes, this is indeed the man i want to make sexy frog noises to!
“Sorry to break it to you Doc,” interrupts Jongdae, “But those are astigmatism. Not sparkles. So yes, you are being silly.”
Barkhyun ends up rolling on the floor cackling.
Jongdae ends up spraining another wrist.
Doctor Kim Jonging ends up being blinded by a person with astigmatism and grease.
And Kyungsoo, he owes Jongdae and Junmyeon one for supplying him with their lifetime supply of pick-up lines.