[H52] YOU'RE MY FIFTH SEASON
Prompt Code: H52
Title: you’re my fifth season
Rating: PG-13 for slight mentions of sex
Side pairings (if any): slight baeksoo
Word Count: 6332 words
Warnings: fluff, a bit more angst, tons of personal feelings
Summary: In front of all the lights, cameras and action, they’re two famous faces wearing too much makeup and acting like someone they’re not. Behind the scenes, Kyungsoo just wants to be in Jongin’s arms.
AU: Based on Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy
AN: i never thought i’d be able to write this story after the news and i contemplated giving up a few times, but here i am after countless bouts of writer’s block. to whoever suggested this prompt: this story is for you, and i hope you like it!
Have you ever had one of those secrets which nobody, yet somehow everybody knows?
Kyungsoo has one: someone he wants to hold onto forever and keep all to himself. Said person is sleeping right next to him, his right arm draped lazily over Kyungsoo’s chest and his drool forming a tiny pool on the pillow. His snores form a rhythm, a soft lullaby. The older man gazes at the sleeping boy and a smile lights up his features.
“I don’t deserve you,” he leans down and whispers against his ear, lips brushing against warm skin, “you’re too perfect to be true.” He breathes more sweet words, knowing that he will not be able to do so once the sun rises and they are no longer protected by the darkness of the night.
He feels the figure stir and wraps his arms tighter around bare, sun-kissed skin. Closing his eyes, he dreams of bright lights and camera shutters, slender fingers reaching out for him and a pair of hands cupping his face tenderly. He dreams of staring into brown eyes the colour of firewood blazing passionately before he feels a pair of velvet soft lips pressing into his forehead. A bright smile is smacked onto his face as he turns and stares into the distance, the ferocious eyes of the paparazzi and the bulging lenses.
Jongin wakes up to the smell of fried eggs and coffee. He stretches an arm out and feels cold sheets. Frowning, he sits up and rubs his eyes repeatedly. Suddenly, his phone rings with a notification. He picks it up and swipes across the screen lazily but immediately perks up when he sees the photo on the screen.
Doe eyes and pink lips, pretty fingers holding up a cup of coffee, most likely espresso (Jongin never understood his love for coffee - he thinks it tastes like poison), winking straight into the camera and at Jongin’s heart.
@dokyungsoo12: good morning everyone~ it’s time to get out of bed!
Jongin pushes the thick sheets aside and scrambles out of bed, running to the kitchen. He sees a petite figure bent over the dining table, staring at his phone, his brows furrowed together.
“Stop trying to point out your flaws, idiot. You’re perfect,” Jongin mumbles under his breath as he tiptoes towards the person, a smile spread across his handsome face. He slowly approaches him and then gently taps on his shoulder, whispering a quiet ‘Boo’.
A phone is sent flying into the air and luckily, Jongin catches it in time before it crashes onto the floor. A loud scream fills the air and he breaks out into loud laughter.
“Kim Jongin!” the victim turns around and shouts, hitting him continuously on the chest.
“Good morning hyung,” Jongin giggles and wraps the shorter man in a hug, resting his head on his shoulder. “I saw your picture, you look adorable,” he adds with a grin. The other just grunts but Jongin can feel him squeezing his chest tighter.
When Jongin lets go he leans down, pouting his lips and shutting his eyes. However, he receives a flick on the forehead. “Brush your teeth,” Kyungsoo chides and pushes a whining Jongin into the bathroom. He reappears after a few minutes and the shorter man then plants a soft kiss against his lips, whispering a soft ‘good morning’ against them.
They sit at the dining table chatting over breakfast and eventually, Jongin ends up on his boyfriend’s lap, singing to the tune of his latest song for him to feed him. His sweet, melodious voice echoes around the apartment and a million Queen Alexandra’s birdwing butterflies flutter in Kyungsoo.
It is days like this when Kyungsoo wants to hold Jongin tighter and never let him go.
Their peace is interrupted when Kyungsoo’s phone rings, playing his favourite song, the outro to Jongin’s first album. He smiles apologetically, pushing his boyfriend away lightly and excusing himself to the balcony.
Ten minutes later, Kyungsoo is in front of the mirror while Jongin is hugging him from behind. Their height difference is really obvious in such a position and Kyungsoo allows Jongin to rest his chin on his head as he adjusts the buttons on his shirt.
“You have to go already?” Jongin murmurs and pouts.
“I have work to do Jongin,” Kyungsoo answers and turns back to give his boyfriend a light peck on the cheek, “we’re already behind schedule.” He watches as Jongin’s cheeks turn into a deep shade of pink and he wants to take a picture of that sight.
“Do you want me to send you there?” Jongin suggests but the older man shakes his head, for fear of the public seeing them together.
“I’ll be back before 12,” Kyungsoo assures the younger boy and picks up his keys after he reminds Jongin to take his meals on time, Jongin replying with ‘Are you my mum Kyungsoo?’. His hand tightens around the door knob, lingering on it for a few seconds. He suddenly spins around, grabs Jongin and steals a kiss on his lips.
“Take care, Soo,” the pop star whispers in a daze and gazes down at his boyfriend.
With that, Kyungsoo flees out of the house and hurries to the elevator.
He scans his watch and sighs. It’s going to be a long day and he already misses Jongin.
Upon arriving at the filming site, Kyungsoo starts greeting the staff there and he is rushed into dressing, the stylists fussing over him, ensuring that he looks nothing but flawless. He spots a familiar face sitting across the room, legs crossed daintily and reading a magazine with his own face on it.
Kyungsoo snorts and tries to get away unnoticed but a high voice calls his name and he rolls his eyes.
“What do you want Byun?” Kyungsoo replies curtly and proceeds to take a seat two seats away from the actor, his lips thinning into a frown.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Baekhyun sings and snickers, “Guess you ditched him for work? How typical.”
“That’s none of your business,” the younger actor hisses and pretends to scroll through his phone to avoid conversation.
“So defensive,” he hears Baekhyun cluck under his breath and takes deep breaths to stop himself from hurtling his chair at the petite male wearing too much eyeliner.
He stares at the obnoxious brunette through the mirror and wonders what in the world he was thinking when he decided to date him back then. Byun Baekhyun is everything Kyungsoo dislikes: loud, sassy, pompous, vain, an alcoholic and very horny. He cringes when he recalls the nights they spent together in Baekhyun’s flat, disturbing the neighbours with their activities. Kyungsoo always woke up the following morning with Baekhyun snoring in his face. How romantic.
He quickly unlocks his phone and looks down at his wallpaper - the back view of a tall and slim man with his brown hair blowing in the wind and his arms spread out wide as he faces the sea. Kyungsoo smiles at the photo, proud of his own photography skills and even more proud of himself for having such an amazing boyfriend.
He is so glad Byun Baekhyun is history because all he wants to do is to live in the present.
He is called to the set and he quickly gets into the mood of the script. Soon, the cameras start rolling and without fail, Kyungsoo delivers his lines naturally.
In front of the cameras, he’s neither Jongin’s boyfriend nor Byun Baekhyun’s ex-lover; he’s Do Kyungsoo, the rising star of Korea’s entertainment industry.
The lights shine upon them as their faces lean towards each other, Kyungsoo’s eyes fixated on the lips in front of his. He places a gentle hand on smooth cheeks, closing his eyes. Finally, their lips meet and Kyungsoo resists a gulp as he presses them together. A single tear rolls down his left eye just like in the script.
It will be their last kiss before Jungwoon, Kyungsoo’s character in the movie, goes to the army and fights for his country and loved ones.
“Cut!” the director’s voice booms and he immediately releases his hold on the actress.
“That was a good take. Let’s move on to the next scene,” the director says and the cameras start shifting. Kyungsoo walks over to the side of the set to get a drink and an enormous smile lights up his face when he spots someone at the refreshment table. He runs over into warm arms, quickly being engulfed in a hug.
“Jongin! When did you come?” Kyungsoo gasps and spins them around, his laughter echoing around the place. The pop star just nuzzles his face in Kyungsoo’s soft hair and mumbles something that sounds like “I missed you”.
When they pull apart, Jongin rests his hands on Kyungsoo’s waists and chuckles, “That was a nice kiss.” Kyungsoo’s face turns the colour of the maroon shirt he is wearing and he glances away, unable to look at Jongin anymore.
“Don’t be jealous,” the actor whispers as he leans up to stare back at Jongin. At that moment, the younger boy swoops down and places a soft kiss at the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips, pulling back with a satisfied smirk.
“Why should I be jealous when our kisses are better?” he quips, sporting a smug grin.
Kyungsoo looks into his eyes and wonders if all of this is a dream. He starts to think that all of this is just a figment of his wild imagination and none of it is real, because things are too good to be true. Will he wake up to a world without Kim Jongin?
Jongin has to leave halfway through Kyungsoo’s shooting because he has to go to his studio and he reluctantly bids him goodbye after making him promise to be home by 12.
“You have a really nice boyfriend,” Kyungsoo’s co-actor comments as they take a break for dinner.
“I know,” he replies with a twinkle in his eyes and a warm feeling spreading over his body.
With fast steps and a racing heart, Kyungsoo sprints to his apartment, silently cursing himself. He made Jongin promise to be home by 12 but here he is arriving home at nearly 1am. He quickly unlocks the door and expects to see his fuming boyfriend at the couch, arms folded and a dangerous glare in his eyes.
“Jong…in?” Kyungsoo’s voice trails off and disappears when he is greeted by darkness.
Nobody’s home yet. He feels his heart sink with every step he takes.
He turns on the lights and takes out his phone to check if he missed any messages. His wallpaper greets him instead, as if mocking him. Kyungsoo lets out a small sigh and throws his coat on the couch before collapsing beside it. He takes out his phone and sends a quick text.
where are you?
He returns to the couch after washing up and changing into pyjamas, waiting and waiting for the door to open and for Jongin to burst through it while complaining about the day.
As the clock strikes two, there is still nobody in sight. Closing his eyes, Kyungsoo takes in deep breaths to calm himself down but ends up falling asleep on the cold couch.
The actor wakes up with a frown etched onto his face. His vision lands on the clock and heck, it’s already 12p.m and his empty stomach is grumbling loudly. A black jacket is wrapped around him and he immediately recognizes its scent: Bleu de Chanel, sprayed two times on each wrist, then once by each side of the neck. Only one person he knows wears that cologne and that person is still nowhere to be seen in the house. Kyungsoo peels off the jacket and drops it into the laundry basket, rubbing his sore back.
He spots bright yellow post-its on the fridge and carefully removes them.
Soo, I’m sorry for not fulfilling my promise yesterday. Work didn’t go as smooth as I expected it to and my phone died in the middle of recording. Forgive me?
There’s a small bear with a remorseful expression at the corner of the note, with lots of hearts scribbled around it.
I’ll be at the recording studio today too. I’ll make sure to charge my phone!
This second note has more hearts drawn all over the paper and a huge ‘I LOVE YOU’ written across the bottom, signed with a very familiar autograph.
Kyungsoo wants to remain angry and he wants to crumple the notes up and throw them into the waste basket but he finds himself cracking a tiny smile while sighing.
i forgive you, because the bear was really cute.
A reply arrives shortly and Kyungsoo scrambles to read it.
omg hyung did you know worried i was??? ><
go eat something, you must be starving now!!!
btw the recording is going real smooth and it might end early! come pick me up? :)
Kyungsoo does not answer but he knows where exactly he is heading tonight.
The day ends with tangled limbs and bare chests pressed against each other under crumpled sheets. Kyungsoo cannot ask for more and Jongin thinks that everything is perfect.
Life is a bed of roses, isn’t it?
The tanned pop star wakes up next to his sleeping boyfriend just like any other Saturday morning. He glances at the clock on the wall and realises that it is still really early. Carefully getting out of the bed, he tiptoes to the window and looks out.
The outside world has barely awoken as well, with sparse traffic and a handful of people strolling on the streets, looking like small moving dots. After all, Jongin is in the penthouse of the tallest apartment building in Gangnam. He turns back to look at the sleeping figure, currently curled up under the thick comforters and looking like an angel with the morning sunlight casting a soft glow on him.
He goes to get his phone, poising to take a picture of this beautiful sight when his phone starts vibrating in his hand. He picks up the call with a frown and hurries out of the room, afraid of waking his boyfriend up.
“Hello?”
“Jongin, this is Mr. Kim. Check your email and come down to the company as soon as you see it, together with Kyungsoo,” his CEO says gravely and Jongin gulps at his tone. He hangs up and opens his email with slightly trembling fingers.
What he reads next causes him to fall back onto the sofa, the words imprinting into the back of his eyelids as he closes his eyes, feeling himself shaking.
Suddenly, there is a soft tap on his shoulder and he jumps, his eyes springing open. He turns around and realises that it’s only Kyungsoo. His Kyungsoo.
“What happened Jongin? You look really pale,” Kyungsoo says and presses a warm palm against Jongin’s forehead, his eyes still heavy with sleep. Jongin urges him to sit next to him and he obeys silently, one brow raised in suspicion. “You’re acting really weird,” he points out.
“Read this, hyung,” Jongin shoves the phone into the older man’s hand.
Kyungsoo’s eyes widen and he drops the phone onto his lap.
“How… what… when…” Kyungsoo stutters and stares at Jongin, his mouth hanging. Jongin shakes his head and pulls him into a tight hug.
“We’ll get through this together, I promise. We’ll face it together,” Jongin assures and buries his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, trying to hide his teary eyes and wobbly lips. He feels Kyungsoo freeze, then wrap his arms around his waist.
They arrive at the grey building an hour later with Jongin’s manager hurrying them into the room at the top floor. There a middle-aged man in a crisp suit sits in a leather recliner, watching as the young couple and the frenzied manager enter the room. He stands up slowly and looks at Kyungsoo first, staring him up and down. Jongin notices this and pulls his boyfriend into a side hug.
“Ah, so you’re the famous Do Kyungsoo. You’re so handsome in real life, it’s a shame you’re not in our company,” the man clucks and puts on a very tight smile. Kyungsoo spots the sign on the mahogany table, gulping.
Kim Il-Woon, Chief Executive Officer
He just nods politely and glances at Jongin, hoping he will take the sign to say something because the atmosphere is so, so awkward and Kyungsoo is never good at breaking the ice.
“Hyung! I haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you?” Jongin greets, cheerful voice masking his crippling anxiety. Kyungsoo feels Jongin clutching onto him tighter.
“You sound awfully cheerful. Sit down, you two. Sojin, you may leave now,” the stern man addresses Jongin’s manager and he leaves immediately, closing the door behind him with a soft thud. Mr. Kim smiles at them again and brings out a hard copy of the report.
“So, what do you want me to tell them?”
Jongin stares down at the piece of paper, the bold words screaming at him, taunting him and forcing him to make a decision.
BREAKING: POP SENSATION KAI ON A DATE WITH ‘1940’ STAR DO KYUNGSOO
He knows that whatever decision he has to make will affect two of the most important things in his life. It’s the same for Kyungsoo.
If they come out as a couple, their careers will be ended.
If they refuse to come out as a couple, their relationship will be ended.
Jongin despises everything: the paparazzi, the industry, himself, for not being able to protect Kyungsoo from the condescending tone the report adopted. He remembers the glaze of hurt over Kyungsoo’s eyes when he scanned across the article. Kyungsoo had forced a smile after reading it, the tiny dimple at the left corner of his lips - the kind of dimple which will not appear if one does not smile wide enough - forming a dent against his milky white skin, muttering a quiet “What do we do?”.
He clenches his fist so tightly he hears his bones crack. A smaller hand is placed atop his tightening fingers and gently laces with them.
“I don’t know, boss. What should we do?” Jongin thinks out loud, running his free hand through his brown locks, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. He shuts his eyes, expecting nothing but the worst.
“I’m supposed to break you up, because your fans, society, everyone would want you to do so,” Mr. Kim begins and Jongin hold his breath, “but that’s not my style. I say screw them and let it be. You deserve to be happy, both of you,” he declares. “Kyungsoo, your company has decided to let you come out as well,” he continues and pauses, waiting for the couple to respond.
Jongin opens his eyes, blinking slowly. “Really? Really?” he chants like an excited child who has had too much candy and the older man just nods with a small smile. Jongin stands up, tugging Kyungsoo along with him. He takes a step forward and engulfs his boyfriend in a bear hug, hugging him so tight that he can feel his arms aching.
“Jongin, oh Jongin,” Kyungsoo breathes into his shoulder, returning his embrace with a squeeze around his waist.
They leave the room after Jongin thanks Mr. Kim for uncountable times, even going to the extent of doing a formal bow. Their hands are intertwined together, Jongin clinging onto Kyungsoo a little too tightly, so absorbed in the change of events that he doesn’t see the way Kyungsoo bites his lips and the wet streaks running down his cheeks.
After they enter the car, Jongin finally glances to his side and freezes when he sees Kyungsoo’s face dampened with tears. He quickly releases his hold on the steering wheel and turns his boyfriend to face himself, wiping away his tears with a gentle thumb. “Hyung, why are you crying?” he frets and rubs at his arm soothingly, breaking Kyungsoo’s heart even further.
“I can’t do this Jongin. I’m sorry but I can’t do this,” he admits, his voice coming out shaky and unstable. Jongin stares at him, head cocking to a side and sitting silently.
“Can’t do what, hyung?” he asks, breaking the silence between them.
“I can’t give up my career because of us!” Kyungsoo shouts in frustration, “my fans will abandon me because I’m gay! You know that it’s taboo in this country. Your fans will leave you too, your family will forsake you - you’ll be left with nothing.” He stops when he feels breathless, placing one hand on his chest and burying his face in the other.
“I won’t be left with nothing because I’ll have you Soo,” Jongin says without any hesitation.
Kyungsoo starts coughing and choking on his salty tears, mucus already starting to trickle down his nose. He hates it when he cries because it makes him look hideous. Jongin is always there to cup his face and kiss his tears away, but not this time because when Kyungsoo feels a hand running up and down his back, he flinches away from the touch.
“Stop it, Jongin, you need to be rational! You’re just so consumed by the happiness that we’re allowed to be together that you’re not thinking ahead. You’re not-” His sentence is cut short when he feels a pair of lips pressed against his own. Kyungsoo winces and pushes the younger boy away with all the strength left in him. “Jongin, we really need to stop,” he implores and stops to catch his breath again.
“So your career is more important than us?” the pop star looks at Kyungsoo with an unreadable expression. When the latter catches the brown, blazing eyes he stares into almost every morning slowly turning into ashen traces of burnt firewood, the word ‘no’ nearly rolls off his tongue like a reflex. He covers his mouth to stop himself from answering and yanks open the car door, throwing himself out and running towards the exit. He hides behind a wall and his legs finally give way, causing him to crumble onto the floor. The touch of Jongin’s hand still burns into his skin.
He wishes that time will turn back so maybe, just maybe, they would not have met at Baekhyun’s party almost a year ago. Maybe he would not have allowed Jongin’s smile to blind himself with love. Maybe this is all a nightmare and he will wake up to sugary kisses pressed against his cheek, warm blankets cocooning the two of them.
He cries harder when he realises they could not even make it through their first anniversary.
He hears the engine of Jongin’s car roaring to life then hears it driving away. When he turns around, the vehicle has already disappeared, leaving behind a dissipating cloud of exhaust fumes together with unforgivable regret.
“You know Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispers, voice cracking, hugging his knees as the younger man’s question replays in his mind, looping over and over, “I love you more than I love myself.”
Days and nights blend together just like the Americano in Kyungsoo’s hands - bitter and unforgiving. Everything Kyungsoo does reminds him of a certain boy with a too bright smile and overly melodious laughter. He has been surviving on no sleep for forty hours straight, successfully breaking his own record. When he stares at himself in the mirror, lifeless eyes and sunken cheeks greet him.
Even his make-up assistants tell him to be easier on himself because they have to apply a scary amount of foundation and concealer to hide his dark circles. “You’re like the walking dead, Kyungsoo,” one of his stylists jokes as she brushes his face with powder in precise strokes.
Kyungsoo forces a laugh and deep down, he thinks he would be better off dead.
When he reaches home, he finds himself scrolling through his pictures and looking at old videos - memories he want to delete forever yet never want to forget. He finds himself craving for the warmth of someone lying next to him as he tucks himself into bed. He stares at the ceiling wondering what that person is doing right now. Perhaps he is recording a new song. Perhaps he is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling above his bed and thinking about them too.
He does not catch a wink of sleep that night because he spends it longing for someone he will never have in his arms again.
“Did you hear about it?” A shrill voice comes from one side of the room, waking Kyungsoo up from his short nap. He grunts at the interruption and rolls his eyes.
“Of course. They look really good together. I’m so jealous!” Another voice answers and this successfully attracts Kyungsoo’s attention. He spins his head around and sees them hovering over a phone. They start talking in hushed voices when they realise he is staring at them.
He beckons for his manager to go to his side and asks, “What are they talking about? They’re making a ruckus.” He gestures at the two girls.
His manager averts his gaze but sympathy is evident in her voice. “I think you should check the news,” she replies quietly and bows slightly before scurrying away to do her own duties. He sighs and fishes out his phone, quickly scrolling to check the headlines.
The sound of a phone colliding against the floor resonates in the room. If feelings were audible, Kyungsoo hears his own heart shattering as well.
In the next few days, all the world talks about is a certain pop star dating a certain girl group member from the same company. The pictures of their supposed date are plastered all over tabloids and the internet. Some netizens dub them ‘nation’s darling couple’ because of how well they complement each other. The stocks of their company have risen significantly overnight. The couple has even posted tweets thanking fans for their never ending support.
@kimkai88: If you can’t get someone out of your head, maybe they’re supposed to be there.
Kyungsoo lies against the comfort of his couch, a flute of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. As he sticks the cigarette between his lips and breathes in deeply, he feels the nicotine rushing through his veins and the numbness that follows, like his feelings are under anesthesia.
He should be happy for him, right?
He takes another puff of the cigarette and exhales slowly, smoke rushing through his lips and forming thin wisps before disappearing. He hears a familiar voice chiding him, “Stop smoking hyung, it’s bad for your health!”
It’s weird how he misses the smallest things. Waves and waves of nostalgia hit him as he recalls the times when he didn’t need alcohol and nicotine to feel better. He thinks of bronze skin and fluffy brown hair. He remembers warm hands brushing against his forehead and soft singing lulling him to sleep.
He extinguishes the cigarette and watches as the ashes slowly fall into the porcelain tray. It reminds him of how the snow cascaded when he first kissed the younger boy.
Kyungsoo laughs at the thought of it. He is uncertain if he should even trust his own memories anymore as Jongin, the talk of the town, the person he is head over heels in love with, strangely seems nothing more than a stranger now - a stranger who is probably kissing his girlfriend, a stranger he will gladly trade the world for.
Was all of Jongin a façade?
His vision blurs rapidly and a huge lump forms in his throat. Before he even realises it, he reaches out to his phone and stares at the silhouette on his wallpaper, the bright light from his phone illuminating his crumpling face.
“God, I miss you so much,” Kyungsoo mumbles, voice cracking pathetically. He collapses on the marble floor, tears rolling down the side of his cheeks and fervently wishing that the tightening in his chest would go away.
He arrives at the shooting site of his next project, not before applying ice on his face to mask his red and swollen eyes from his breakdown the previous night.
“Good morning, please look after me well,” he greets the staff one by one, presenting a polite smile as he walks around shaking hands. First impressions are important after all and he just hopes he can get this over and done with quickly.
What he does not expect to see is Jongin sitting at one end of the dressing room - Jongin with his long legs crossed and looking as flawless as ever. The staff are crowding around him as they do his hair and makeup. The pop star looks up when he hears his voice.
They lock gazes, except Kyungsoo’s puffy eyes are hidden behind his designer sunglasses. It’s as if time comes to a standstill and all he can see is Jongin, his Jongin. His breath hitches as they continue staring at each other, Jongin’s eyes sparkling with something he does not want to recognise. He quickly looks away before all the pride left in him dissolves into nothing and before he breaks down in front of all the people there.
“Why is he here?” he asks his manager when she comes to take him to dressing.
She only shrugs her shoulders meekly. “I had no idea. They just told me that you’ll be filming a music video and I didn’t expect it to be his music video too. Do you want me to cancel this schedule for you?” she suggests when she notices how visibly uncomfortable the actor looks, from the way he keeps tugging at his jacket to how he violently bites his lips.
He shakes his head. “No, I’ll do it,” he says resolutely and plucks off his shades before settling down into a seat. He closes his eyes, the image of Jongin looking at him still burning into his memory.
He’s gotten what he has always wished for - to see Jongin again - so why is he feeling like this?
Suddenly, a female voice bursts through the room. “Where’s Kai?” she asks every person in sight. Kyungsoo peeks open one eye and when he recognises her, he feels his throat turning into sandpaper.
It’s her. The girl on the magazine covers, the idol whose small hands are linked with Jongin’s bigger ones in all the pictures that have been taken, the other half of the ‘nation’s darling couple’. She looks ethereal with her perfectly styled hair, dewy complexion and lithe figure. When Kyungsoo looks into the mirror, he sees a bloated face and realises how flawed he is compared to her.
Maybe Jongin is happier with her.
“He-he’s there,” he replies in a shaky voice, pointing to the separate room where Jongin is. She turns to look at him and breaks out into a huge smile, displaying her perfect teeth.
“Are you the Do Kyungsoo?” she gasps and flutters over to him, “I’ve watched all your dramas and movies. I’m a huge fan of yours!” She takes out her phone to show him her wallpaper - a picture of himself at some film premiere he cannot remember. Kyungsoo almost laughs at the irony. If only she knows who he really is.
“I’m so glad,” he answers and flashes her a smile, shaking her hand amiably.
She leans down to whisper in his ear, “Don’t tell Jongin about this. He gets jealous very easily.”
Kyungsoo chuckles.
If there is anyone who will get jealous at things like this, Jongin is the last person who will do that.
He had brought up Baekhyun countless times, bragging about him even though he hates him - when he was drunk, when he was mad at Jongin, when he just felt like it - and all Jongin did was take his hand and rub it gently, smiling like a fool at him.
“Stop trying to make me jealous hyung, it won’t work,” Jongin would calmly say in response to Kyungsoo’s outbursts before throwing his arms around his boyfriend.
“Yeah, he probably will,” his voice comes out as a whisper. He looks down at his lap and tries not to think about Jongin with his goofy smile and overconfident voice.
The girl bids him goodbye and hurries to the other room. He hears her greeting him in a sickeningly sweet voice and a deep, husky laughter follows.
Kyungsoo decides that if Jongin is happy, he will be happy too.
The filming ends at one in the morning and Kyungsoo feels like a shell of himself, exhausted and drained of life. Thankfully he did not have to act with Jongin. The younger boy was just there to film some individual scenes.
Kyungsoo heads to the washroom to freshen himself up so he can drive home safely. The small place is eerily silent and he can hear his own heartbeat, thudding loudly against his ribcage. The day’s events catch up to him and slowly replay in his mind. He still feels the surge of affection when he saw Jongin, still sees the warmth in Jongin’s eyes when they made eye contact, still hears Jongin’s sniggering. He silently wishes that Jongin’s laughter was directed to him but all of this is wishful thinking for he was the one who left Jongin, Kyungsoo reminds himself.
He wills himself to get a grip but all of his walls come crumbling down when it finally sinks upon him that he has lost Jongin for good. The sound of liquid hitting the sink echoes in the empty washroom and Kyungsoo is unsure if it is the faulty tap or his tears.
“Hyung,” a too familiar voice suddenly appears behind him and it causes Kyungsoo to choke, coughing and sputtering for air. He hides his face behind his hands and refuses to turn around.
“Go away,” he spits, tone harsher than he intended.
“Hyung,” he tries again and from the mirror, Kyungsoo can see him reaching out to touch him. He sidesteps away and sobs harder into his palms, pleading for the other man to leave. “I miss you,” the taller male croaks and from the corner of his eyes, Kyungsoo can see him wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He freezes.
“Why?” Kyungsoo finally cries, “Why did you have to do that?”
“Do what?”
“Don’t be stupid, it’s all over the news!”
A soft chuckle escapes from Jongin’s lips and Kyungsoo turns around, wondering why he is laughing in this situation. When his vision lands upon the younger boy, he watches as his face lights up in amusement and he finally realises how much he has missed this sight - eyes forming half-crescents as his plump lips part, throwing his head back as he shakes with laughter.
“I’m sorry,” he says after he stops laughing, “I’m so sorry.” He looks straight into Kyungsoo’s eyes. “I thought that would protect you. You know those paps, they will never let go of the matter unless I do something more drastic. Everything I did was for you, Kyungsoo,” Jongin continues. He takes a step forward, ready to catch Kyungsoo in his arms.
However, Kyungsoo steps back, eyes narrowing slightly. “Even after everything I did?”
“You could run me over with a car and I would thank you for that,” Jongin answers with a soft smile, “you have me wrapped around your fingers hyung.”
At those words, Kyungsoo sprints forward and squeezes the younger man in his arms. He melts into their embrace, digging into the soft fabric of Jongin’s shirt and clinging onto him tightly, as if Jongin will vanish any second. He has waited so long just to hold him once more and he swears he will never let him go again.
“You’re an idiot,” Kyungsoo sobs and hits the other’s chest repeatedly but the punches gradually weaken when Jongin tilts his head up and seals a kiss on his lips, successfully cutting off all protests.
They stay in each other’s arms for what feels like forever, Kyungsoo muttering endless apologies and Jongin carding his fingers through the petite male’s hair, whispering countless assurances.
Every cloud has a silver lining. They’ve finally found theirs.
The following day, various news reports report that ‘nation’s darling couple’ has decided to split due to personal reasons and despite initial disappointments, the world moves on.
On their first anniversary, the internet blows up as Do Kyungsoo announces his retirement as an actor, his last film being 1940. He also admits that he has a beautiful boyfriend, none other than pop star Kai.
@kimkai88: If life was a book, @dokyungsoo12 would be my favourite chapter.
@dokyungsoo12: @kimkai88 I think I love you a little bit more every day, the best singer in the world.
“Babe, I’m home!” a loud voice calls from the front door and Kyungsoo sets down the ladle, rushing out of the kitchen while wiping his hands on his apron.
Jongin appears from the doorway. His hand holds tightly onto a bouncing toddler who is yapping away about her day at school. Kyungsoo smiles fondly at both of them and sprints into his husband’s arms. The latter lifts him up in a tight embrace and Kyungsoo showers him with forehead kisses.
“Hungry!” the cherubic two year old tugging at Kyungsoo’s sweatpants whines loudly and her lips form an adorable pout, one that melts Kyungsoo’s heart immediately. Jongin releases his grip on him and bends down to ruffle her hair.
“Shall we go see what’s for dinner, sweetheart?” he asks before taking her tiny hand.
Sometimes home isn’t four walls and a roof over one’s head; sometimes home is gazes oozing with affection, genuine laughter echoing in one’s ears and loud footsteps scurrying to the kitchen to catch a glimpse of dinner.
Kyungsoo is so glad to be home.
end.