Worlds Apart 21.1

[kaelaaw]

 Okay so I promised I would post more often because my job slowed down and then real life and family got real busy and I couldn't post as often as I wanted. So I am now going to promise to post ever other year and this way I will trick my life into giving me lots of time to post. Think it will work?


It wasn't until the third course that Neisk realized he was only getting every other course of the traditional feast. The last events of his day had made him completely forget the holiday and that he would even have a feast for dinner. At least that is what he told himself was the reason he didn't notice. Closing his eyes he took a few deep breaths to hold back tears and then waved to the servants to remove the empty plates. It was all too much after the day he had. Over the last two years he had forced himself to forget the little things he and Arnell used to do like trading plates so one of them had the even number and the other the odd number courses. He was always 'even two shoes' and Arnell was always 'odd ball' and they refused to call each other anything else the whole day.

Arnell was never going to sit next to him at a feast table again. No longer because he was dead but because he wasn't Arnell anymore. He was Gorlyn and there was no way he was going to ever remember being Arnell again. That was what the the priest had said the memories were gone. He was going to be Gorlyn until he died and Gorlyn wasn't allowed to sit next to him at feast tables. Gorlyn wasn't allowed swap dishes with him. Gorlyn wasn't allowed to call him silly names. Gorlyn wasn't allowed to be his friend.

Neisk had struggled with all the realizations and realities forced on him that morning as he rode home in the carriage. He thought over them, let all the emotions run through him. Silently he had mourned the loss of his friend once more. When the carriage stopped he wanted nothing more then to loose himself in the mundane and not have to deal with it again for the rest of the day. He planed to face it all again in the morning. However things kept coming to remind him. First Gorlyn had to drive it home again with his stupid need for permission for everything, then his mother had to write him that damn letter and now Finne was taunting him with memories by only giving him even courses!

“I am finished eating go on with whatever other duties you have. I wish to sit here in the dinning room alone for a few minutes.” Neisk declared and as soon as they had cleared up and left he set his mind to working. First he needed to plan out the rest of his evening. There was that meeting with Finne, he wanted to teach Gorlyn who to use mind speech and the gods help him he needed to deal with Tocus. He would think on what to do about Tocus now, that would give Finne time to clean up the kitchen then they could have their meeting then he would teach Gorlyn and then maybe he could do some more thinking before he went to bed.

There was no doubt in his mind he would need to punish the boy. It was like walking a tight rope when it came to Tocus. Finne was right in the sense that Tocus was only his servant because it amused Tocus to be one. There was always the chance something he did would push Tocus to give up and go home. It had been something Neisk had actually hoped for in the beginning. That was why he made Tocus a servant in the first place thinking Tocus would grow bored with it. Now however it was a different problem. He could not take Tocus home now and there was no one he really could trust to pass the bond over to either. No, as long as Neisk had a dev'sleuv he was stuck in Ghuryni and Tocus was stuck with him.

That meant his usual threat of shipping the boy home would be too risky a gamble. What would he do if Tocus called his bluff? No it would have to be something else. Something that fit the crime. Neisk himself had always learned best when his own punishments had something in common with what he had done. Two ideas came to mind and Neisk thought he could use either one but which? After several moments of thought he determined he would let Tocus decide for him. It would depend on which attitude Tocus brought with him as to which punishment he would get.

Feeling like he accomplished something and that he had given Finne plenty of time to clean up he stood up and walked into the kitchen. The kitchen looked as if it had not been used that day at all every inch of it was spotless. It was also empty. However he could hear noise coming from the washroom and made his way there.

“And when the girl come up for air.....” the noise turned into Finne's deep baritone voice singing as Neisk grew closer.

“You steel it with a kiss!” A second voice finished the song and Neisk felt his heart skip a beat. As he rounded the corner he saw Finne and Gorlyn, sleeves rolled up, bent over a sink full of soap suds and singing their hearts out. He waited until they finished the song and then started to clap vigorously. Finne gave the most dramatic theater bow imaginable while Gorlyn yelped, and dropped the plate he was scrubbing. Luckily it fell back into the sink full of water unharmed but it might as well have shattered to pieces from the look on Gorlyn's face as he dropped to his knees.

“So which was better my lord? The dinner or the show?” Finne asked as if their singing had truly been the evening's entertainment for grand feast.

Ignoring the urge to run over and drop down in front of Gorlyn and ask if was alright he took his cues from Finne and continued the joke. “The tenor brought tears to my eyes but the baritone was flat and unemotional.”

“Tenors everyone always loves the damn tenors.” Finne grumbled.

“You had suggested we have a talk after dinner, Finne?” Neisk couldn't keep the joke going.

“Just the two of us, my lord?” Finne asked calmly.

“Was that would you had in mind?” Neisk asked.

“Yes, I also pictured brandy involved.” Finne grinned. Neisk could not help but roll his eyes.

“Very well let me just get some things settled in my room and then I will meet you in your quarters?” Neisk made the last bit a question since he was not sure where he really wanted to meet.

“Sounds right to me. I'll have the brandy and some snacks ready for us.” Finne went back to doing his dishes although he did make a point to look down at Gorlyn and then back to Neisk.

“Gorlyn come with me.” Neisk tried to muster up a commanding voice but it fell flat and was mostly unemotional. It didn't seem to make a difference to Gorlyn as the other man rose gracefully to his feet and followed Neisk about three steps behind. They walked in complete silence toward Neisk's rooms. Once inside the sitting room Neisk walked straight to the the bathing room pulling his tie and coat off as he went. Inside he threw both in the bin for dirty clothing and with his mind turned the knobs to start the warm water running. Once he saw steam he floated a small bucket over and filled it before floating it over and dumping it in the big brass tub. It took five trips to fill the tub and the mental exercise did wonders for his emotional state. Once it was finished he turned the knob off again.

“While I have my meeting I want you to bathe and get dressed for bed. Also lay out some sleepwear for me on my bed.” Neisk walked back into his bed room and noticed a foul stench he had missed in his urge to get into the bathroom. “Also call for a maid and have them get rid of that awful smell!”

He left his rooms in a hurry half to escape the smell and half to escape Gorlyn. He knew he needed to get rid of this sudden surge of jealous feelings he had before he spent any length of time with Gorlyn. And the best way to do that was to speak to the man he was jealous of.

It was just like the night before. The same plate of bread and cheese, the same bottle of nearly priceless brandy. The only difference was Finne was still dressed in his gray chef tunic and apron. Neisk held in his emotions and sat down. Slowly he poured himself a glass of brandy and popped a piece of cheese in his mouth. He chewed it slowly then took a sip and spoke.

“My feast was missing four courses.” He made the comment sound casual.

“Four courses I knew you would not eat.” Finne retorted.

“So you did not make them?” Neisk asked.

“No I made them.” Finne answered.

“And then what you just threw them out? That is not like you to waste food.”

“No I used them to feed your dev'sleuv.” Finne gave him an odd look. “You did ask me to feed him did you not, my lord?” There was not an ounce of respect in Finne's voice and the last to words sounded mostly defiant.

“You fed him that?” Neisk was too surprised to acknowledge the tone.

“Why does this surprise you? You asked me to feed him in the kitchen away from the servants and I did so what's gotten into you?” Finne demanded his face turning red.

“I thought you would serve him something bland for his stomach.” Neisk replied softly he knew his attitude was an off shoot of holding in his jealously.

“I suppose I should have done that.” The anger was gone, replaced with regret. “If he gets sick I'll make amends however it pleases you but I didn't want to pass up the chance to test him myself.” Finne sighed.

“Test? What were you testing?” Neisk was starting to loose his feeling of jealousy and instead was starting to feel real anger. How dare Finne risk Gorlyn's stomach with some stupid test.

“To see if he was really Arnell.” Finne answered. “I know those were his favorite courses just like the ones I gave you were yours. I also know he is the only person of your generation I ever met who would eat my great grandmother's version of beet pie.”

“You served him beet pie?! Finne that is truly evil!” Neisk wanted to vomit just thinking about eating beet pie.

“Not everyone finds beets evil lad and Arnell used to steal them raw from my kitchen when he came to visit. So I know very well he likes them. And Gorlyn liked them very well. When he was certain I wasn't looking he licked the plate clean.” Finne chuckled.

“He did not steel them raw to eat them.” Neisk grumbled remembering none too fondly what Arnell did do with the beets. “So did he pass your test?”

“Yes. Although it was actually the singing that convinced me. No one could fake singing that horribly.” Finne frowned. “That used to be one of my favorite songs.”

“How did you get him to sing?!” Neisk couldn't take it anymore he had to know what made Finne so special.

“I ordered him to.” Finne shrugged as if that were obvious.

“What?” Neisk blurted.

“He begged me to allow him to help do the dishes when he found out I was going to wash them alone. I agreed and then I started singing and he didn't so I ordered him to either sing along with me or get out.” Finne took his own sip of brandy. “And wouldn't you know I didn't have to teach him a single word.”

“He already knew the song?” Neisk was stunned.

“Sure did I think that surprised him too a little. You know where I learned that song?” Finne grinned.

“It sounded like a drinking song.” Neisk answered.

“Best little tavern in town full of beautiful women who want nothing more then to get you drunk and have their way with you. The song we were singing was written by the owner of the tavern and you had to be a regular to hear all the verses.” Finne looked like a little old woman who had just passed on the juiciest gossip. “ Little place called 'The Charming Angel'.”

“Arnell's favorite tavern....” Neisk whispered stunned.

“Was it? I had no idea.” Finne's sarcastic voice made Neisk prickle.

“So let me get this straight. You are convinced now because he eats beet pie and knows some bawdy tavern song? Never mind that I told you it was him and I know him more better then you?!” Neisk asked. Finne just shrugged and Neisk threw up his hands. “Fine so now you believe me what does that change?”

“Well nothing really it doesn't change how I feel about him now or how I intend to treat him.” Finne answered.

“And just how do you feel about him and how do you intend to treat him?” Neisk snapped despite himself. He had so badly wanted to be the calm detached one in this conversation.

“I feel the same way I do about any young man working in the same household as me. I intend to treat him as the personal slave of the man to whom I am employed.” Finne answered as if it were obvious.

“So you feel the same way about him as you do about......oh say Tocus?” Neisk asked.

“No Tocus I would like very much to hang by the toes and strap raw from neck to ankles.” Finne answered smiling. “But Tocus has a special place in my heart.”

At the moment Neisk agreed with Finne's opinion of Tocus. Or he would if he thought Finne actually meant it. However Finne had a point. It was something to think about but not right now he had wasted enough time already.

“I did not come down here to discuss Tocus....unless you think that is biggest problem with my staff.” Neisk commented.

“Oh so you are ready to talk about that now?” Finne asked.

“I have been from the start. You are the one talking about taverns and beets.” Neisk couldn't stop himself from shivering at the thought of beets.

“If you say so my lord.” Finne remarked with a dry humorless voice.

“Well get on with it!” Neisk knew he wasn't being fair to Finne but life wasn't being fair to him so now they were in the same boat.

“Right well the basic problem is you have never had servants before.” Finne stated calmly before taking a good swing of brandy.

“I have had servants my entire life!” Neisk protested and was starting to regret this meeting.

“No you have lived with servants your entire life.” Finne corrected.

“Go on explain the difference.” Neisk grumbled and settled himself down for a lecture.

“When you were a child the servants in your house did they do everything you told them to?” Finne asked.

“Yes.” Neisk answered as if it were the stupidest question in the world and at the moment he thought it was.

“Even if it went against orders they had from your father?” Finne asked.

“Well no but that was just because he was my father. No one would do something for a child without his parents permission.” Neisk countered.

“What about Johar? If he told them not to give you something did they listen to him or you?” Finne asked.

“Him.” Neisk grumbled. “Alright I get your point I was a child they did not have to obey me the same as they did adults in the house. But I have not always been a child.”

“No that is true when you turned fifteen and completed the manhood ritual what did you do?” Finne asked.

“I moved into Arnell's home. We were given the south wing to use as our own home.” Neisk answered.

“Ahhh so you and Arnell hired your own staff of servants yes?” Finne asked.

“Errr no Arnell thought real men did not need servants and he forbid them to enter the south wing.” Neisk felt himself blush. It had sounded like such a noble idea when he was fifteen but it had been a disaster.

“Oh and how did that work out for you?” Finne asked for the first time sounding as if he were asking a question he did not already know the answer to.

“I learned to pick up and clean up after Arnell.” Neisk grumbled. He loved his best friend dearly but he could not stand the mess that Arnell did not mind living in. After repeated attempts to try and get Arnell to change he simply just started cleaning it all on his own.

“Yes, well you know the servants, back when he had them, used to call his wing the pit of hell.” Finne chuckled. “But no matter that did not last long. You joined the army as is the law and being noble you started as an officer. Officers of course have servants so there we have your first time with you own servants.” Finne smiled.

“No.” Neisk said through his teeth. “Arnell talked me into joining the regular army under the guise of commoners.”

“Oh yes no servants there...” Finne agreed. “But that was only two years what did you do after that?”

“Arnell was asked to travel the world visiting other countries for the Queen. The nations had formed an exchange program where each country would send mages to the other countries so they could share knowledge. I went with Arnell as his friend.” Neisk answered.

“Did you take any servants with you?” Finne asked.

“No.” Neisk answered. “But there were servants assigned to us in each place we stayed. In fact when we visited here we were each given a suite with a dev'sleuv in it!” He added in a pathetic attempt to prove Finne was wrong.

“Right servants were assigned to you by someone else. When you left did the servants go with you or did they return to their previous employers?” Finne asked.

“Alright I get it they were not really my servants.” Neisk grumbled.

“Right they weren't.” Finne agreed.

“But the servants I have now they are mine. And there are the ones at the embassy.” Neisk offered surely Finne could not deny that.

“Did you come over here and pick them out yourself?” Finne asked.

“No.” Neisk was really getting tired of hearing 'no' come out of his mouth. “They along with the house were given to me by the King General.” He held up a hand to forestall Finne's next question. “The ones at the embassy were hired by the previous Ambassador.” It was time throw in the only thing he had left. “Oriel is mine though. I replaced the secretary they gave me with him and Tocus is my vassal he came with him to the house.”

“Right you have two servants you picked out by yourself. Two lads not yet olde enough to shave, who have never served anyone before they came into your service and that you spoil. That is perfect qualifications for dealing with servants who have served others for longer then you have been alive.” Finne replied dryly.

“If I am not mistaken my head chef did not come with this house. In fact I do believe I hired him myself. I also note he does not need to shave but I think that is some kind of health defect.” Neisk made himself give a cocky grin although he was certain Finne would shoot this attempt down also.

“Yes,” Finne chuckled. “An old man who really should have retired but instead chose to follow after a young man and try to help him not make a fool of himself.”

“Well then maybe you should retire and go back home!” Neisk snapped.

“Easy lad I'm not trying to make you angry.” Finne turned serious and held his hands up in surrender.

“Well seems you can do some things without trying.” Neisk glared.

“Look I am just trying to tell you that what you have right now is different then anything you have ever had before. You have adapted to a new culture and new group of nobility but you are still acting like the same child living in his father's house with his father's servants.” Finne spoke calmly.

“Then why did you not say that to begin with?” Neisk asked frustrated.

“I tried but you kept arguing with me. Now I don't know what fight you want to have but you have been trying to have one all night so tell me what you want to fight about and we can get that out of the way.” Finne responded calmly

“I want to fight about......” Neisk started and didn't know what he wanted to fight about but Finne was right he had been looking for one. He took a deep breath and sighed. “I am sorry.”

“That's alright lad you still want to fight?” Finne asked his voice neutral.

“No I want to know what I have to do now.” Neisk sighed.

“Well you have two things going against you. The first is that none of these servants are really your own. You have two options there. First you can fire them all and hire new ones. Second you can change your mindset and start looking at them as your servants and start treating them that way. Both has it's advantages and disadvantages. The first is going to be very labor intensive and require a lot more time then I think you have right now. The second's problem is you might have some servants who will not like your new attitude and you will have to deal with that.” Finne spoke slowly and for the first time that evening Neisk really listened.

“You are right, just like you always are.” Neisk grinned. “Good thing I got you to come out here with me.”

“Yes, well I can not say that it was not good for me too.” Finne smiled back. “So which option are thinking of?”

“The second. I really do not have time to replace my staff and they are all very good workers and I think I can handle a few with bad attitudes.” Neisk was not so certain but he had to try. “You mentioned two things going against me?”

“Yes the second is Johar.” Finne said slowly keeping a wary eye on Neisk.

“Johar is against me?” Neisk asked startled.

“No I am sure he has your best interests at heart or at least thinks he does. The problem is he is what is keeping you from truly becoming the master of your own house.” Finne answered.

“I do not understand.” Neisk really didn't.

“Well as a child a valet is in one sense a servant in that he fetches and carries for you, gets your clothing ready, helps you dress, keeps your rooms well kept. However he is mostly a guardian. He is like a third parent someone to keep you out of trouble, make sure you grow up into a fine young lord. The fact that he can discipline you rather takes away from him being like a servant.” Finne explained carefully choosing his words. “Arnell did you a disservice when he talked you into going without servants. He robbed you of the chance to choose a new valet. Had you followed with tradition you would have choose a new valet from among a group of young men, close to if not the same age as you. They would have just completed their training under the care of a retired valet and you would be the first noble they served. The newness for both of you would have helped you form a bond that would last until one or both of you died. Now instead of serving as a guardian your valet would have been a confidant, a sounding board for your thoughts and ideas, someone you would know without a doubt would be completely and totally loyal to you. Why did you take Johar back as your valet when you left home again?”

“I....was still mourning Arnell, I hurt so bad and my father told me it was the best thing to do.” Neisk felt the excuses come without thinking as he thought on what Finne had said. “I stopped doing what my father told me to when Arnell started telling me what to do. Then when Arnell was gone.....I guess I just went back to listening to father.”

“And Johar has always been like the voice of your father right?” Finne asked softly.

“Yes, when my father was not around I was supposed to do what Johar said and I guess I just carried that over here with me.” Neisk blinked how could he have been so blind to what he was doing.

“When you have meetings with other nobility and foreign dignitaries to you look to Johar for advice or permission?” Finne asked.

“No.” Neisk grinned and was glad he could answer no this time. “No I do not see him as qualified to advise me on those matters and he has never tried to. He is always only concerned with my appearance and reputation.”

“Of course that is all he has ever been trained to care about. He was only ever meant to get you ready to be an adult now that you are one he does not have any training to keep you as one so he naturally he has fallen back to treating you like a child and you have let him. Now I think it is time for you to be just as independent at home with your servants and with the ones at the embassy as you are in the political arena.” Finne's tone was encouraging and Neisk felt like he could really do that.

“Thank you Finne.” Neisk pushed himself up out of the chair. “I have a lot to think about now and I need to work on my mindset. I am ready to work at it but if I fail.....or I need....” He was not sure how to put his question.

“As long as you bring the brandy I will bring the advice.” Finne smiled.

“What if I run out of brandy?” Neisk asked with mock concern.

“Then I will just have to tickle you.” Finne responded.

“I will not put up with my chef treating me in such a childish manner Finne.” Neisk responded dredging up that commanding voice he had used on Gorlyn earlier.

“I knew you had it in you lad. Keep that voice and you will be fine.” He winked and Neisk left the room.

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