Harry/Draco Fic: N-17
Title: Perverted Clowns
Author: k8matty
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: N-17
Summary: Draco has an unusual kink.
Warnings: Crack!porn. (Highlight to read others.) ->Balloon fetish. There, I said it. <-
Word Count: 1250
Authors Note: I really don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this. I think I might be going strange. I was like ‘hmmmm whats a kink I’ve never written about’. And then my brain was all “Hey, Kate, bet you won’t write this kink” and I was all “FUCK YOU BRAIN! I’LL DO WHAT I LIKE!” and then I wrote it and my brain cried itself to sleep and I WON! *punches air*
~*~
Harry was trying to kill Draco. That really was the only explanation.
“Are you okay, Harry?” Andromeda asked worriedly. Harry looked up at her, red faced and panting.
“Don’t worry about me, Andromeda, I can blow for ages.” Harry smiled, taking the pink rubber to his lips again.
Andromeda smiled at Harry’s perseverance and dedication, as the object in his mouth steadily inflated to bursting point.
See? It’s wasn’t in Draco’s imagination. Harry really was trying to kill him.
Oh sure, he might be pretending to blow up balloons for little Teddy’s third birthday party, Draco thought as he desperately willed away his straining erection. But to Draco’s trained eye, Harry’s Godfatherly duties were nothing short of soft-core porn.
“Uncle Ha-wy!” Teddy squealed, running into the room with a limp balloon clutched in his outraged fist. “Mine wont blow up pwoply!”
“Aw, don’t feel bad, mate. It gets easier to blow them when you’re a bit older.” Harry nodded, making Draco’s brain want to hurt itself.
Oh for the love of God, Harry, not in front of the children, Draco wanted to shout as Harry knelt beside Teddy and gently helped him inflate the phallic-shaped party decoration. Why hadn’t Harry opted for the round balloons, like normal people? Oh, right. Because he was trying to kill Draco, apparently.
“Yay! I has a bawoon!” Teddy cheered, waving it around as his hair changed to the same shade of green.
Harry smiled and clapped Teddy on the shoulder. “Well done, Teddy. Why don’t you show it to Nan, and then you can meet all your guests? A little birdie told me someone might be getting a clown at his party.”
Teddy’s face lit up; quite literally, in fact. His hair turned orange and his eyes changed into a bright shade of yellow as he squealed with joy.
It was creepy, Draco decided, but at least Teddy was happy as he waddled out of the room, giggling and in search of a clown.
Ugh. Clowns.
“Better finish these…” Harry muttered, picking up a red balloon and taking it between equally red lips.
Draco tried to hold back, he really did. But Harry wasn’t making it easy on him.
First, Harry was grunting, which was unfair to begin with because Harry only grunted like that when they were fucking. (And when he stubbed his toe, but well, whose side are you on?)
Second, watching his boyfriend grunt and groan and pant around a red, steadily inflating, phallic-shaped object was clearly a blatant form of sexual provocation.
But most damnable of all was Harry’s reaction when the balloon exploded. Wide, innocent eyes, and a soft, shocked little ‘Oh!’ that formed his mouth into a perfect circle; Draco was lost.
“What the hell?” Harry barely had time to yelp before he found himself on his back, surrounded by multicolored balloons and a panting Draco.
“You filthy little cocktease…” Draco moaned, straddling Harry and rubbing his hips up and down.
“What?” Harry spluttered, genuinely flabbergasted. What the hell bought this on?
As if in answer, Draco seized a pink, inflated balloon and bought it to Harry’s lips.
“Lick.” He said simply.
Harry clicked, and it was with a wide smirk that he licked an obscene stripe along the stretched rubber.
“Wow, you’re weird.” He marveled as Draco’s mouth dropped in amazement.
“You’re the one who’s been fellating balloons all morning.” Draco pointed out. (Okay, so he was the one actually aroused by Harry touching balloons, but again, whose side are you on?)
“I’ve been inflating balloons all morning, while you sat on your lazy arse, apparently getting off on it.” Harry grinned, sucking the balloon lightly, fixing heated eyes on his practically drooling boyfriend.
Choosing to ignore the last (and very true) comment, Draco arched an eyebrow in challenge. “You want me to help you with some blowing?” Draco husked, pulling out Harry’s cock and huffing a burst of hot air across the sensitive flesh.
“Oh yes, that.” Harry breathed, resting on his back. Really, there was something bizarrely erotic about lying down, surrounded by what looked like dozens of bright, colorful penises.
“Hmm. I don’t know. It looks pretty inflated already.” Draco murmured against the straining erection. “What if it pops?”
Harry groaned, arching his hips up towards Draco’s face in blind search for hotwetgood.
“Draco-o!” he protested, humping the air madly.
Smiling, Draco quickly pulled off his trousers and lay next to Harry, heads to tails.
“Together.” He ordered, and Harry nodded, lifting his leg slightly to give Draco better access.
Draco was in phallic heaven. The musky smell of Harry permeated his nostrils, along with the odd, rubbery smell of balloons that for some unexplainable reason had Draco practically yelling with ecstasy around the cock in his throat.
He must have looked ridiculous, red-faced and drooling in an orgy of party décor, but all Draco could feel was pure, blinding arousal.
Just as the pressure in Draco’s genitals started building madly towards orgasm, Harry snatched a balloon and reached around to brush it teasingly against Draco’s balls and backside.
Draco snapped, screaming and bucking wildly as he came down Harry’s throat. Draco’s skin tingled where the balloon was touching him, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head with ecstasy.
A moment later, Harry joined him at the peak, pulsing into Draco’s mouth with pleased moans, while Draco suckled diligently, milking his lover for all he was worth.
Suddenly, Harry was gagging around Draco’s softening prick and pulling his hips away from Draco’s face.
Crossly, Draco looked up and flinched at the cause of Harry’s distress.
A red-headed clown that bore a startling resemblence to Weasley was staring down at them in shock.
“I… er… I thought I was hired for a children’s party?” He squeaked nervously, raking his eyes over the two naked men, surrounded by party decorations.
“You are!” Draco protested, covering his modesty from the perverted clown. Really, what did this clown think Draco was, some kind of freak?
“Um, sorry about this, talk to Andromeda, she’s out the front with Teddy.” Harry sheepishly donned his pants and guided the stunned clown from the room. “And, um, if you could not mention this?”
“Not sure anyone would believe me…” the clown shook his head and ambled outside, where a chorus of joyous screams assaulted him.
Draco shuddered as the sound of manic clown laugher drifted in from outside. “God, I hate those things.”
Harry snickered. “Let me get this straight; you hate clowns, yet you have a balloon fetish?”
Draco was surprised. “Balloon fetish? What balloon fetish? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Draco withdrew the balloon from between his legs and went on. “Besides, I was talking about gingers.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he drawled.
“Yes.” Draco lied.
“Then you wouldn’t mind me having a clown at my birthday?”
Draco’s heart started thudding alarmingly. “Um… do you have to?” he whined.
Harry chuckled. “No, sweetheart, I wont. Just decorate the house with lots and lots of balloons for me.”
Draco shuddered with arousal as the image assaulted his brain.
Clearly, Harry would never stop trying to kill him.
Author: k8matty
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: N-17
Summary: Draco has an unusual kink.
Warnings: Crack!porn. (Highlight to read others.) ->Balloon fetish. There, I said it. <-
Word Count: 1250
Authors Note: I really don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I wrote this. I think I might be going strange. I was like ‘hmmmm whats a kink I’ve never written about’. And then my brain was all “Hey, Kate, bet you won’t write this kink” and I was all “FUCK YOU BRAIN! I’LL DO WHAT I LIKE!” and then I wrote it and my brain cried itself to sleep and I WON! *punches air*
~*~
Harry was trying to kill Draco. That really was the only explanation.
“Are you okay, Harry?” Andromeda asked worriedly. Harry looked up at her, red faced and panting.
“Don’t worry about me, Andromeda, I can blow for ages.” Harry smiled, taking the pink rubber to his lips again.
Andromeda smiled at Harry’s perseverance and dedication, as the object in his mouth steadily inflated to bursting point.
See? It’s wasn’t in Draco’s imagination. Harry really was trying to kill him.
Oh sure, he might be pretending to blow up balloons for little Teddy’s third birthday party, Draco thought as he desperately willed away his straining erection. But to Draco’s trained eye, Harry’s Godfatherly duties were nothing short of soft-core porn.
“Uncle Ha-wy!” Teddy squealed, running into the room with a limp balloon clutched in his outraged fist. “Mine wont blow up pwoply!”
“Aw, don’t feel bad, mate. It gets easier to blow them when you’re a bit older.” Harry nodded, making Draco’s brain want to hurt itself.
Oh for the love of God, Harry, not in front of the children, Draco wanted to shout as Harry knelt beside Teddy and gently helped him inflate the phallic-shaped party decoration. Why hadn’t Harry opted for the round balloons, like normal people? Oh, right. Because he was trying to kill Draco, apparently.
“Yay! I has a bawoon!” Teddy cheered, waving it around as his hair changed to the same shade of green.
Harry smiled and clapped Teddy on the shoulder. “Well done, Teddy. Why don’t you show it to Nan, and then you can meet all your guests? A little birdie told me someone might be getting a clown at his party.”
Teddy’s face lit up; quite literally, in fact. His hair turned orange and his eyes changed into a bright shade of yellow as he squealed with joy.
It was creepy, Draco decided, but at least Teddy was happy as he waddled out of the room, giggling and in search of a clown.
Ugh. Clowns.
“Better finish these…” Harry muttered, picking up a red balloon and taking it between equally red lips.
Draco tried to hold back, he really did. But Harry wasn’t making it easy on him.
First, Harry was grunting, which was unfair to begin with because Harry only grunted like that when they were fucking. (And when he stubbed his toe, but well, whose side are you on?)
Second, watching his boyfriend grunt and groan and pant around a red, steadily inflating, phallic-shaped object was clearly a blatant form of sexual provocation.
But most damnable of all was Harry’s reaction when the balloon exploded. Wide, innocent eyes, and a soft, shocked little ‘Oh!’ that formed his mouth into a perfect circle; Draco was lost.
“What the hell?” Harry barely had time to yelp before he found himself on his back, surrounded by multicolored balloons and a panting Draco.
“You filthy little cocktease…” Draco moaned, straddling Harry and rubbing his hips up and down.
“What?” Harry spluttered, genuinely flabbergasted. What the hell bought this on?
As if in answer, Draco seized a pink, inflated balloon and bought it to Harry’s lips.
“Lick.” He said simply.
Harry clicked, and it was with a wide smirk that he licked an obscene stripe along the stretched rubber.
“Wow, you’re weird.” He marveled as Draco’s mouth dropped in amazement.
“You’re the one who’s been fellating balloons all morning.” Draco pointed out. (Okay, so he was the one actually aroused by Harry touching balloons, but again, whose side are you on?)
“I’ve been inflating balloons all morning, while you sat on your lazy arse, apparently getting off on it.” Harry grinned, sucking the balloon lightly, fixing heated eyes on his practically drooling boyfriend.
Choosing to ignore the last (and very true) comment, Draco arched an eyebrow in challenge. “You want me to help you with some blowing?” Draco husked, pulling out Harry’s cock and huffing a burst of hot air across the sensitive flesh.
“Oh yes, that.” Harry breathed, resting on his back. Really, there was something bizarrely erotic about lying down, surrounded by what looked like dozens of bright, colorful penises.
“Hmm. I don’t know. It looks pretty inflated already.” Draco murmured against the straining erection. “What if it pops?”
Harry groaned, arching his hips up towards Draco’s face in blind search for hotwetgood.
“Draco-o!” he protested, humping the air madly.
Smiling, Draco quickly pulled off his trousers and lay next to Harry, heads to tails.
“Together.” He ordered, and Harry nodded, lifting his leg slightly to give Draco better access.
Draco was in phallic heaven. The musky smell of Harry permeated his nostrils, along with the odd, rubbery smell of balloons that for some unexplainable reason had Draco practically yelling with ecstasy around the cock in his throat.
He must have looked ridiculous, red-faced and drooling in an orgy of party décor, but all Draco could feel was pure, blinding arousal.
Just as the pressure in Draco’s genitals started building madly towards orgasm, Harry snatched a balloon and reached around to brush it teasingly against Draco’s balls and backside.
Draco snapped, screaming and bucking wildly as he came down Harry’s throat. Draco’s skin tingled where the balloon was touching him, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head with ecstasy.
A moment later, Harry joined him at the peak, pulsing into Draco’s mouth with pleased moans, while Draco suckled diligently, milking his lover for all he was worth.
Suddenly, Harry was gagging around Draco’s softening prick and pulling his hips away from Draco’s face.
Crossly, Draco looked up and flinched at the cause of Harry’s distress.
A red-headed clown that bore a startling resemblence to Weasley was staring down at them in shock.
“I… er… I thought I was hired for a children’s party?” He squeaked nervously, raking his eyes over the two naked men, surrounded by party decorations.
“You are!” Draco protested, covering his modesty from the perverted clown. Really, what did this clown think Draco was, some kind of freak?
“Um, sorry about this, talk to Andromeda, she’s out the front with Teddy.” Harry sheepishly donned his pants and guided the stunned clown from the room. “And, um, if you could not mention this?”
“Not sure anyone would believe me…” the clown shook his head and ambled outside, where a chorus of joyous screams assaulted him.
Draco shuddered as the sound of manic clown laugher drifted in from outside. “God, I hate those things.”
Harry snickered. “Let me get this straight; you hate clowns, yet you have a balloon fetish?”
Draco was surprised. “Balloon fetish? What balloon fetish? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Draco withdrew the balloon from between his legs and went on. “Besides, I was talking about gingers.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he drawled.
“Yes.” Draco lied.
“Then you wouldn’t mind me having a clown at my birthday?”
Draco’s heart started thudding alarmingly. “Um… do you have to?” he whined.
Harry chuckled. “No, sweetheart, I wont. Just decorate the house with lots and lots of balloons for me.”
Draco shuddered with arousal as the image assaulted his brain.
Clearly, Harry would never stop trying to kill him.