2012--Year End Meme time
It's the end of the year meme--back to wrap up this year. I did this back at the end of 2011 and 2010. And now, 2012...
1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
A second pregnancy. A second unmedicated birth (tho again questioned the unmedicated part after). Sold a house. Called and asked for help with PPD.
When I was in seventh grade I kept a daily journal of something new I did each day. I miss that. I guess there's a lot less new all these years later, but still.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last year's resolutions:
- A. 50,000 steps a week Probably not. Certainly not tracked. Pedometer lost, I forgot, blah blah boo.
- B. Log food and finances I did this for a while. Pregnancy, esp stress and restrictions, screwed up food/exercise plans. Finances I did for a while, then slacked off there too.
- C. Wag more, bark less Again, year started off pretty well but declined. Man, my fourth quarter would have all my investors shouting SELL!
- D. Work no more than 22 hours/week (not counting 18 hours of volunteering I think I actually did this one, though not totally by choice or for the right reasons. But I'll take a win anywhere I can scrounge it.
Next year:
- Lose the pregnancy weight. This is proving to be MUCH more difficult this time around, especially with my health troubles. Last time I was teaching an aerobics class at this point. This time, I am winded and scared walking up a flight of stairs. This must improve.
- Find and stick with a good therapist
- Be more present. Enjoy the burrito.
- Declutter (my life, my mind)
- Gift myself time with things and activities I love (photography, reading, writing)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. I'm pretty close to me, some days.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Heartbreakingly early. Bobbie, I'm sorry. I feel I failed you. I miss you lots and think of you often and wish I could have saved you. The world is less without you. I hope you have peace.
5. What countries did you visit?
This one. Hardly went out of the state from the summer on. Restricted pregnancy, newborn... But we did make it to SC &GA this spring.
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
Calm, peace, freedom from worry. Guess that's a tall order. But I'd like to get things under control. I also feel like I wish for this every year.
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
11/4/12, the day Eliza joined our family. I am also really happy that things like the date of her diagnosis has already faded into STFU-land.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
At the huge risk of this being painfully one-note, I grew a person. That's pretty big
9. What was your biggest failure?
Oh my God right now I feel like this could be a novel. My body feels like it is constantly failing me, though in many ways my mind is failing more. I have felt often a failure as a mother, occasionally a failure at work (though at least I knew to care far less in that arena)
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I have convinced myself of several heart attacks, colon cancer, MS, stomach cancer, esophageal cancer... In reality I managed previa, sciatica, carpal tunnel, and a couple to be diagnosed stuff right now (heart attacks! Spinal injury! Hypochondria!)
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably my iPad. Oh, wait, new house! D'oh! Steve had to remind me of that one. Go me. Up for next year: new brain, or at least a memory upgrade. The Milkie has also been pretty nifty. Again, not a great design, but it helps. Freezer full of milk with only 2 actual pumping sessions
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
I hope next year to celebrate my own a bit more. This year, I celebrate my son's achievements (with the potty, with his letters and his understanding, with his heart that grew at least three sizes as a big brother). I celebrate the country for getting the election right, despite how hard it is for everyone, for not giving in to the idea of simply "something different" as a solution. I celebrate my husband for supporting me, even during my most unloveable times. And for running his first marathon. He has had a banner year and I've been proud of him for many things
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My own, sadly. Short-tempered and controlled by anxiety. And the cowards who go after people with guns, who go after strangers and children, the people who make it heartbreaking to watch my little boy just be a little boy and point his finger and say bang bang
14. Where did most of your money go?
Home.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My husband's marathon. Watching my son transform into a big brother. Living somewhere walkable.
16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
I Will Wait ~Mumford and Sons, Eliza Jane Christine)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? sadder
- richer or poorer? poorer
- thinner or fatter? fatter
(dang this year! I swear it wasn't all horrible).
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling, breathing, smiling, laughing, swimming
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
WORRYING, crying, snapping
20. How did you spend the holidays?
With these amazing people, at our new lovely home
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Some
22. How many one-night stands?
So weird. No.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
HIMYM, Gray's Anatomy, Project Runway, Top Chef, The Next Iron Chef, Dexter, just starting Parenthood, and for zoney enjoyment: Storage Wars, Parking Wars
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't think so. I have enough on my plate right now--I don't need to shoulder hatred.
25. What was the best book you read?
Nonfiction: You're Not Doing it Right, January First nd although it was up and down, parts of Help Thanks Wow were really important to me.
Fiction: We Need to Talk about Kevin
26. What was your favorite film of this year?
This American Life Live
27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
In the beginning of the year, almost anything! In the best shape of my life! That didn't last. Quickly became hand me downs and whatever fits. This trend continues--compounded with nursing-friendly. Oh, I'm so fashionable.
28 Whom did you miss?
Faraway friends, the old me, Bobbie, Mimmie.
29. Who was the best new person you met?
Eliza. I will confess that I stole Steve's answer for this and didn't even think of it myself because I suck. Oops. But I was thinking of new friends, and then saddened to realize I didn't make any new friends. Better luck next year. Gigi was pretty great, though, and I did become closer to Kristen, Cat, and Katie and am really grateful for all of them.
30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebr equation by chewing bubblegum The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.