Excerpt: Holo-Data Files of MiB HQ: Part Three
MiB HQ: Conference Room Alpha-Prime, 1800 hrs
Mission Briefing: Operation Black Oil (Class Omega), Final Report
[Following parts one and two.]
[Agent B nods at the holographic schematic again:]
MiB: fictional --------- Black Oil: fictional
MiB: real ------------- Black Oil: fictional
MiB: real ------------- Black Oil: real
MiB fictional ---------- Black Oil: real
[Agent B:] As you can see, our own Earth falls into category three, where both MiB and the Black Oil are real.
[Agent K:] Now, hold on. There is no X-Files program on our Earth.
[Agent B:] No, but there’s no fictional one either, and that seems to be the crucial factor. If something does not exist on our Earth as a work of fiction, then we are vulnerable to its introduction as a real phenomenon from an alternate dimension.
[Agent L:] This is making my head hurt.
[Agent Zed:] Don’t worry about it. You’re all scheduled for psych exams as soon as we’re done here.
[Agent K:] So you’re saying it’s because we don’t have “X-Files” the tv series that we’re now vulnerable to invasion by real Black Oil?
[Agent B:] Exactly. And now that it’s here for real, it’s too late to go back.
[Agent K:] So what happens if one of us goes to an Earth where MiB is already fictional?
[Agent B:] Well, that brings us to Agent N’s report:
[Agent N:] Thanks. We’re still drafting the final report for Operation Meta-Fiction, but the results are clear: dimensional insertion into a theater where MiB is a fictional creation has a devastating impact on agents’ capabilities.
All extraordinary MiB training and resources are compromised one hundred percent. Agents do retain knowledge and training within normal human perimeters, but all alien augmentation either disappears or becames nonfunctional.
[Agent Zed:] Turns a neuralyzer into a fancy flashlight. A damn movie prop.
[Agent N:] All zero-G fighting techniques, ineffective. All implants, offline. Alien weapons and scanning equipment, transformed into nonfunctioning replicas.
[Agent K:] So what would happen to an actual alien?
[Agent N:] We believe at best an alien might transform into a human wearing makeup and prosthetics. At worst….
[Agent N shrugs.]
[Agent J:] I say we send Frank and find out.
[Agent K:] And you’re telling us all this because--? Aww, shit.
[Agent B: (nodding)] You guessed it. The Black Oil is from a dimension where 'MiB' is a Hollywood blockbuster.
[To be concluded…]