Tricky Treats [Oneshot]
Title: Tricky Treats
Disclaimer: I don't even own candy corn, let alone Min's awesomeness T.T
Author: k_chan91
Pairing: Yoosu :::: ninja!Yunjae
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Comedy, mystery, romance, fluff
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Language, Jaejoong
Summary: Someone knows Junsu's dark, Halloween secret. Will they expose his secret to the world or leave poor Junsu alone with his tortured soul?
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Tricky Treats
"Oh shit..."
Before Junsu could catch his breath, the door behind him slammed shut. If he had turned his head any faster, his head would've twisted clear off his neck and he would've surely perished. Perhaps that would've been a more preferable ending.
Someone had seen him.
"Oh shit, oh shit."
Scrambling to the door, Junsu peered out into the hallway, hands shaking, heart thudding, adrenaline rushing. No one was there.
This was bad.
He tripped up the hallway to the community bathroom and shoved a trash can in front of the door. He doubted that kind of barricade would last very long. Quickly, he ran ice cold water over his hands and scrubbed. God, it wouldn't get off. And there was still an even bigger mess in his room.
It was everywhere. Pools of it spreading across the tiled floor. If he didn't take care of it soon, it would spread to his roommate's shoes under his bed and the evidence would be there. Tarnished and stained. He wanted to forget. Because if this got out, he could never be forgiven.
Junsu scrubbed til his fingers went numb.
:::::
The next morning, Junsu stood in front of the door. The only light filtered through the blinds in the window and shed just enough cool morning light for Junsu to read the writing scribbled on the scrap piece of paper he'd found shoved under the door.
I have a secret. I'm going to tell.
Junsu's ears were ringing. When he'd had gone to bed last night, he'd convinced himself that he had only imagined that someone had been at the door.
But there was a witness. And this was clearly a threat.
When the door opened, Junsu jumped six feet in the air and nearly dropped the note on the floor. "Yunho!" He squeaked.
Yunho stared at him, hair and chest wet with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He raised an eyebrow high. "Junsu..."
Junsu frowned. Of course Yunho knew. He had to know. It had happened right there in their dorm room. He had done so many awful things, so many things he wished he could take back. But Yunho couldn't be so freaked out that he would decide to torture Junsu. Right?
Better to play this safe. Get on his good side early. Beg for mercy. "H-how was your shower?"
Yunho stared. "Exciting..."
"Oh... Was the soap...nice?"
"Yeah. It's banana-flavored."
Junsu gulped. "Good..."
Yunho stared. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"NO! Is there something YOU want to tell ME?!" Junsu's voice shot up about nine octaves.
"What the hell...?"
Junsu was panting by now. "I know you know, Yunho."
Yunho squinted. "Know...what?"
"Don't pretend you don't know! Yunho, you know. I know it!"
Yunho eyed him warily. "You should really eat some breakfast."
"Stop torturing me!" Junsu cried. "It was an accident, I swear! It's not what you think! You think I did it on purpose but I didn't! It's not like it's illegal. I mean, I don't think it is...Don't JUDGE me!"
Yunho's eyes grew about about four times their natural size. "WOAH. What are you talking about?"
Junsu took a few calming breathes. "Did you... Did you send me a note?"
Yunho's brow furrowed. "What note?"
Junsu watched him. Stared at him. Checked every inch of his face. Scrutinized every emotion written in his eyes. Right now it was predominantly riddled with genuine confusion and perhaps worry for his friend's mental health. It wasn't Yunho.
Once Junsu realized he was now standing about two inches away from Yunho's face and making the other very uncomfortable, Junsu stepped back, taking another deep breath. "Never mind."
If it wasn't Yunho, then who? Who could've sent him that note? Who would take pleasure out of torturing Junsu that much? It was an accident. He didn't mean for that to happen. Someone had walked in at a very inopportune time yesterday and Junsu had to find out who it was and set them straight.
So if it wasn't Yunho, then all of Junsu's other frequent visitors must be questioned. Those who routinely rudely walked in the dorm room whenever they so pleased included Changmin, Jaejoong and Yoochun.
As Junsu stepped around a very puzzled Yunho and opened the door, he heard his roommate's voice before he walked out.
"Hey... Where's Brad?"
Junsu quickly shut the door behind him.
:::::
Junsu was on his fifth expresso at Starbucks and still donning his ducky pajamas.
Yoochun walked in and swept the room before his eyes landed on Junsu and he walked over. He observed Junsu and his caffeine army. "Rough morning?"
Junsu just nodded, in a daze.
Yoochun sat in the booth across from him. "I came by your room earlier. Yunho said I'd find you here. What happened to Brad?"
Junsu fiddled with his straw. "W-why are you asking me?"
"Um, you're Yunho's roommate?"
"Well, I dunno."
"Yunho seems pretty upset. Brad couldn't have just disappeared without someone seeing something. When was the last time you saw him?"
"I don't know where the stupid reptile is, I swear!" Junsu blurted, earning a few turned heads in his direction.
"Come on. I know you hated that thing but Yunho-"
"Why did Yunho name a pet snake Brad Pitt, anyway? It's stupid!" Junsu's hands were shaking. He didn't know if it was from that fourth expresso or just his nerves. Why was Yoochun questioning him so much? Why should Junsu know anything about anything? Junsu knew nothing!
"But Yunho-"
"Who cares about Yunho! Yunho didn't care about me when he adopted the stupid thing and kept it in our room against university policy and against my will. I'd rather live with a freaking penguin than that creepy reptile that tried to eat me more than twice."
Yoochun peered at him. "What's wrong?"
Oops. Had he said too much? "No, no. Nothing's wrong here. Haha..."
A raised eyebrow. "I'll take that as a yes. But I'll ignore your weirdness for now." Yoochun looked at him pointedly. "Is that your costume?"
Junsu blinked. "Wah?"
He shrugged. "I just thought maybe you were going as 'Kim Junsu an hour after the party when you drink a half a shot glass of soju and pass out on the sofa so that I have to drag you home and tuck you away in your jammies.'"
Junsu looked at him blankly.
Yoochun cocked his head. "Jaejoong's Halloween party? Are you on ADHD medication? You're not supposed to take those if you don't have ADHD. Don't believe what Hyukjae tells you."
The gears finally turned. That's right. Today is Halloween. "Oh. N-no, I just... Like you said. Rough morning..."
Yoochun nodded, concerned. "You sick? I could get you noodle soup. Or Xbox Kinect. Whatever it is people use to get unsick."
Junsu smiled weakly. "No, thanks."
Yoochun gave a faint smile but stared at the table, picking at a paper napkin.
Junsu watched him. When Yoochun felt his eyes burning into his skin, he looked up. "What?"
Junsu tried this carefully. "Did you... Did you visit yesterday?"
"Uh, yeah." Yoochun said like it was obvious. Which it was. "You were there. Everyone was."
It was true. Everyone had been in the dorm yesterday. All five of them had gathered in his and Yunho's room playing video games and goofing around for several pointless, glorious hours.
But eventually, Changmin claimed he had an innocent study date with a girl but that usually meant he was going to some girl's house on the pretense of studying but would end up making out til she put out and he went home and forgot all about her. But somehow all those girls always seemed to pull A's in their classes after sessions with Changmin anyway.
Yunho had embarked on his late evening jog, which boggled Junsu to no end and Jaejoong had left because Yunho had left. Yoochun had just disappeared but Junsu had assumed he'd gone home to his off-campus apartment so he wouldn't have to drive home in the dark.
But there was a slight chance he hadn't left at all. In fact, there was a chance that he'd just gone to the bathroom for an extended amount of time. Enough time for Junsu to do his deed and make his fatal blunder just as Yoochun returned to witness it all.
That explained everything! Why was Yoochun nervously picking at his napkin and getting annoying paper snow flurries everywhere? Why wasn't he looking Junsu in the eye? He knew Junsu's secret. He knew!
But why would he tell? Junsu had thought they were closer than that.
"Does he hate me?"
Yoochun looked up at Junsu, bewildered. "Where did you get that idea? And did you just refer to me in awkward third person?"
Had Junsu said that aloud? "Uh, just...so..." He sighed, defeated. "It was you, wasn't it?"
"What?"
"Please, Yoochun. Just tell me. You're my best friend and I...I don't want you to hate me."
Yoochun bit his lip. "Junsu, it is biologically impossible for me to hate you."
"Then why are you doing this to me?"
Yoochun eyed him carefully. "Did Jaejoong say something to you?"
Junsu's eyes went wide. "Oh my god. Jaejoong knows, too?! Oh god, if Jaejoong knows, then Changmin knows. And if Changmin knows, then Yunho knows. Does Yunho know? Oh god, he knows."
Yoochun winced. "No, it's just Jaejoong as far as I know. I figured I could trust him."
"This is a disaster." Junsu smacked a hand to his forehead.
"I'm sorry." Yoochun squirmed in his seat.
"Oh, the agony."
Yoochun sighed heavily, staring at the table. "At least this saves me the trouble of embarrassing myself later on."
"Oh, the treachery... Wait..." What? What did this have to do with Yoochun?
Yoochun was slumped down in his chair, hair falling over his downcast face. "It's okay. At least you let me know to my face up front. You have my permission to hate me now that you know I'm gay. I don't blame you."
Junsu blinked. "Eh?"
Yoochun nibbled on his lower lip. "I meant to tell you sooner but...it's hard, you know? I honestly didn't mean to tell Jaejoong yet, either."
Junsu's mouth hung uselessly open for quite a while before he leaned back and guffawed, loud and hard. Yoochun froze in his seat, eyeing him with escalating discomfort.
"That's your secret?" Junsu wiped the tears from his eyes. "You're gay?"
Yoochun's brow was drawn in a puzzled line. "Yeah..."
Junsu laughed again, leaving himself breathless. "That's wonderful!"
His mouth floundered open and closed. "You mean...you don't hate me?"
Junsu reached across the table and touched his arm, smiling brightly. "You're still the same Yoochun to me."
A slow smiled curved along Yoochun's face.
"An overly sensitive cry baby with shaggy hair." To punctuate, Junsu mussed up Yoochun's hair, leaving a tangled mess.
"So you're okay with it?" Yoochun peered through his bird's nest mane.
"Of course!"
"So what were you so upset about earlier?"
Junsu drummed his fingers on the table. "Oh, nothing..."
Yoochun watched him apprehensively. "You okay, Su?"
"Yeah, yeah. I said I'm fine with it. It's great!"
"No, I mean are you still feeling sick? I don't want you to go to Jae's party if you aren't feeling well. I kinda really need you to be there...but only if you're feeling okay."
Junsu poked him playfully. "So I can be there to cancel out your social awkwardness?"
With that, Yoochun swiped Junsu's last remaining expresso. "No more for you," and sipped it on his way out of the cafe.
:::::
When Junsu returned to his room, he found Yunho standing in front of his bed, staring at the vampire costume spread out on his bed. "Should I go with or without the cape?"
Junsu was just glad Yunho had somehow distracted himself from the earlier incident. On most days, Brad would just show up by himself one way or another. But Junsu's secret wish was for Brad's final demise. "Neither. Get a jet pack."
Yunho glanced at him stupidly. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, but then you could fly. Like a bat."
Yunho went with his usual default when Junsu chose not to heed logic and ignored him. He then looked up as if he suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah. I think there's a note for you." He pointed to a piece of paper on Junsu's desk.
Junsu's eyes locked on the vaguely familiar looking scrap placed menacingly on his desk. He gulped. "You sure it's for me?"
Yunho was still frowning at his costume. "Yeah. Someone slipped it under the door some time after you left and ran off before I could find out who they were. I don't know anyone who would bother writing something like that to me so I figured it must be for you."
"I see..." Gingerly, as if the paper were coated in some highly contagious radioactive toxin that would liquify his organs from the inside, Junsu picked it up by the corner and read it.
See you tonight. Happy Halloween.
Junsu crushed the paper in his palm. Oh shit.
:::::
Junsu stomped down the hall in his socks. He was still wearing his ducky pajamas.
He was going to find out whoever it was that was threatening him once and for all even if it killed him. This person was obviously referring to Jaejoong's Halloween party in his note.
That could only mean one thing: They were going to tell everyone at the party. He couldn't let that happen. Yunho, especially couldn't know. Good lord, he lived with the guy.
So now Junsu was cracked out on four and a half tall expressos and knocking on his next suspect's door til he all but split the wood in half. Finally, the door swung open.
Changmin towered over him. Glowering. "WHAT?"
Junsu was shaking. Mostly because of the caffeine overdose. "Don't do it!"
"The fuck?"
Junsu's dilated eyes went huge and wild. "You can't! You know I love you!"
Changmin looked him up and down and took a step back. "If this is a love confession, I'm gonna have to decline but I can't say I'm surprised."
Lunging forward, Junsu grabbed Changmin's collar. But instead of taking charge and shaking Changmin down for the answers he needed like the manly, aggressive image he was going for, he just clung to Changmin like he was drowning and perhaps sobbed a little. "You can't tell. Please, you can't! It'll ruin my life!"
"Get off me!"
"It was an accident, I SWEAR! It's not what you think!"
"Where the hell is your babysitter?" Changmin grunted. "YUNHO!"
"Okay, at first it wasn't an accident. And I'd do it again, dammit. I'd do it again!"
Changmin tried in vain to wrench Junsu's desperate little fists off of him. "You're stretching my shirt. This was a gift!"
"But then what happened afterwards went horribly wrong and...oh damn." Junsu clamped a hand over his mouth and he turned green.
Changmin's eyes went wide. "YUUUUUUNHOOOO!"
When Yunho finally emerged from his room, perplexed and alarmed, Junsu had made a run for the bathroom down the hall to puke four and a half servings worth of caffeine.
:::::
Junsu lay sprawled out, pale, queasy, waiting to die.
"You don't even drink coffee." Yoochun ran his fingers through Junsu's hair, patting a cool, damp towel on his forehead as he lay on the sofa with his head in Yoochun's lap.
Junsu murmured something about the 'many different shades of pink and brown' and Yoochun bit back a smile.
"You don't have to go to Jaejoong's party if you're too sick."
Junsu moaned. "I have to..."
"No. Stay at home. I'll take care of you right here. It'll probably make this whole thing easier on me..."
"No..." Junsu wondered why the room wouldn't stop spinning. Did Yoochun always have two heads? "I have....to cancel out...your awkward..."
Yoochun smothered him with a pillow. "Happy Halloween."
:::::
Junsu had shown up at Jaejoong's party dressed in his soccer uniform along with vampire Yunho. He planned on just calling himself a random famous soccer player if anyone asked. He'd wanted to go as a Jonas brother but he just couldn't fit his ass into those skinny jeans like he had miraculously a week ago when he'd taken thirty minutes trying to force them on in the store's dressing room.
But no time to worry about that. He'd ruled Changmin out for now. Mostly because Junsu had been at the party for about an hour and hadn't even seen him there yet. If this secret was supposed to be spilled at Jaejoong's party, shouldn't the whistle-blower be present?
Anyway, Junsu had moved on to Jaejoong. Who was a surprisingly difficult specimen to locate at his own shindig.
Eventually, he'd finally found him in the kitchen, standing on the counter singing karaoke into a cucumber with a dozen people surrounding him, cheering him on. Junsu cautiously approached the counter, careful not to get kicked in the head by a flying limb.
"Jaejoong...can I talk to you?"
Suddenly, Jaejoong pointed at Junsu dramatically, rolling his hips to the beat in his head, "ALLLLLLL THE SINGLE LADIES! ALLLLLLLL THE SINGLE LADIES!"
There's an excellent crowd. He's drunk as hell. He's got a cucumber. This was the perfect environment for Jaejoong to blab all about Junsu's dirty little secret. Junsu had to get him down and convince him not to tell before it was too late.
"Please? I really need to talk to you."
Jaejoong grabbed his cucumber with both hands, overflowing with some foreign emotion that probably had no known scientific name as of yet, "Now put your hands UUUUP!"
"Jae?"
"IIIIIIf you liked it then you shoulda put a RING ON IT."
A lightbulb went off in Junsu's head. "Joongie~ I brought extra vodka. Wanna see?"
Jaejoong beamed and immediately jumped off the counter with a perfect landing, veggie in hand. "Uh, uh, OOH uh, uh, OOH, uh, uh, uh, OOH." He smacked Junsu's ass, earning whoops from the kitchen crowd before Junsu dragged him off to a quieter side of the house near the bathroom.
Junsu held Jaejoong by his shoulders, shaking him a little and spoke loudly as if sheer volume would make the inebriated man understand. "I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. IT'S REALLLLLLLY IMPOOOOORTANT."
Jaejoong waved him off, stumbling a little, "Cut it out. I'm not that drunk. It's just fun to act like it."
Junsu peered at him anxiously. "So, would it be too much to ask you not to do something really stupid tonight?"
Jaejoong grinned. "I didn't say I wasn't gonna get drunk."
For no reason Junsu could see other than pure frustration, he slapped Jaejoong clear across the face.
"OW!! The fuck, Junsu?!"
Junsu winced. "Sorry. I'm stressed."
Jaejoong glared at him, rubbing his cheek. "Most people take their stress out on their friends by arguing about stupid shit, not battery."
"I'm sorry," Junsu apologized feebly. "You're my last chance. It had to have been you."
"What are you talking about?"
Junsu took a deep breath. "You were with us yesterday."
Jaejoong nodded. "All Hallow's Eve. Yes."
"And you were one of the last to leave."
"Yeah. Yunho left and he's the only one who can beat me at Smash Bros. Brawl. Sorry but you're a wimp."
"Yes, but yesterday...did you...maybe come back to me and Yunho's dorm...and see something you weren't supposed to see?"
At first Jaejoong just blinked at him. Then his eyes slowly grew wider as realization dawned over him.
Junsu bit his nails. "I knew it. I just knew it. You saw."
Jaejoong shook his head, frowning deeply. "So it really happened..."
"Yes! It really happened, Jae. Just please...don't tell anyone. Especially don't tell Yunho that you know. I live with him. I know it was weird but it's not what you think. Really! I was just...I couldn't help it. It just happened."
Jaejoong crossed his arms and glared metaphoric holes through Junsu's skin. Wow, he really was a lot more lucid than he let on. That, or Junsu had smacked some sober into him.
"You're..." Jaejoong shook his head incredulously. "How could you?"
"I don't know. It's just the way I feel!"
"Maybe I have no right to tell you this," Jaejoong spat. "But you really fucking suck, Junsu."
"I know!" Junsu cried.
"There are boundaries. I know I wasn't explicit but I thought I made that clear."
"I said I'm sorry! But you can't tell. I'll be humiliated."
Jaejoong scowled. "Tell? I'd never tell anyone." He looked away solemnly. "I'd rather just forget."
Hesitating, Junsu regarded Jaejoong curiously. "But the note. You said you'd tell."
"Why would I embarrass Yunho? He's ripped my heart out but I'm not going to ridicule the guy."
"Yunho saw it, too?! I knew it!"
Jaejoong looked at him like a alien had dropped out of the sky and laid eggs on Junsu's head. "UMMMM, YEAH, Su. If you and Yunho fucked in your room then I'm pretty sure he saw your penis, too."
Junsu coughed. Then he choked a little and coughed some more. "What?!"
Jaejoong shook his head. "And Min says I'm the dim one."
"Wait!" Junsu flailed. "You think me and Yunho did...that?"
"Isn't that what you're trying to tell me? You stole the love of my life. Whatever, bitch. Take him. For now. I'll win him back. You and I can just never be friends again."
"Noo!" Junsu was devastated.
The eldest shrugged. "That's love, Su."
"H-hold on!" Junsu sputtered. "I never had sex with Yunho."
Jaejoong regarded him with markedly less hostility. "Really?"
"Of course not! Yunho's my friend but he's icky." Junsu chortled at the thought.
"So..." Jaejoong ran it all through his head. "What you think I saw...wasn't you and Yunho writhing in your bed having hot, lusty, saliva-coated-"
"NO." Junsu suddenly felt dizzy.
Jaejoong clapped his hands. "Omg, yay!"
"Yay!" Junsu clapped, too. "So this means...you're gay?"
Shoving him playfully, Jaejoong giggled. "Duh~ I thought you knew."
"Wanna know a secret?"
"Yeah, yeah."
Junsu leaned closer. "Me, too!"
"Omg!"
"Yeah!"
"Did Yoochun tell you-"
"Yep."
"So all three of us are-"
"Yep!"
"Omg!"
"Yay!"
They hugged.
"So what's the secret you were trying to tell me earlier?" Jaejoong asked.
"Uh...not...I... So you like Yunho? That's awesome!"
"Yeah!" Jaejoong suddenly lowered his voice. "So?"
"So, what?"
"You live with him." Jaejoong nudged him. "Do you think he's gay, too?"
Junsu snorted. "The guy showers with banana-flavored soap. He's all yours."
They joyfully embraced again.
When Junsu pulled back he glanced at Jaejoong's attire. He didn't appear to be dressed in any particular way. In fact, he looked rather normal for Jaejoong's standard. "So, what are you supposed to be?"
Jaejoong spread his arms as if to display himself. "Can't you tell? I'm Beyonce."
Junsu stared. "Does Beyonce usually look so much like, um...Jaejoong?"
Jaejoong waved dismissively. "I was already too hammered by the time the party started and couldn't get my Single Ladies leotard on."
Junsu found his words clogged somewhere in his throat backed up behind ummm's and uhhhh's and wtf's.
"I'm kidding." Jaejoong said.
Junsu gulped.
"Or am I...?" Jaejoong grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
Junsu didn't feel he was ready to know.
:::::
The only quiet place Junsu could find was outside on the porch. They were too close to the city to see any stars but it was enough to help clear his mind.
It wasn't Yunho. It wasn't Yoochun. It wasn't Jaejoong. And it wasn't Changmin. He'd seen the youngest show up much later and after stalking Changmin none too subtly and convincing people who stared at him as he stalked him that he had gone to the costume party as Changmin's shadow, he'd discovered after extensive eavesdropping that Changmin didn't seem at all keen on revealing any dark secrets.
He just mixed and mingled like a normal party goer. However, Changmin often found it necessary to explain what exactly it was he had come as:
"Hey, Min. What are you supposed to be?"
"Red pants. Yellow shirt. What do you think?"
"Uhhh-"
"I'm a hotdog. With ketchup and mustard."
"But where' s the meat?"
Devious grin. "Obviously..."
Maybe it had been someone else on Junsu's hall that had seen him. But there were at least twenty other guys on his hall. How many of them had shown up to Jaejoong's party? Did it matter, anyway? Whoever it was was going to tell eventually, whether Junsu begged or not.
They were probably already gossiping. Half the party probably already knew. He'd taken refuge out on the porch once he swore he'd seen Yuri dressed as Princess Peach staring at him in what he had interpreted as utter disgust. Of course, it may have been utter confusion associated with the fact that Junsu had been hiding behind a vase as Changmin sampled from the snack table. But it was hard to tell.
It was all over. He'd have to transfer to a different college. He'd never get to talk to Yoochun again. He'd never wake up to Yunho across the room in his bed asleep with his mouth hanging wide open again. He'd never bribe Changmin into helping him with his math homework without taunting him again. He'd never hear Jaejoong make unnecessary comments about his ass again. He'd never let Yoochun take care of him while he recovered from substance overdose again.
Just as Junsu sighed, he heard the door behind him open. Yoochun peeked out, dressed in white pants and a white shirt, hair looking fluffier than usual.
"Hey."
"Hey." Junsu said gloomily.
The other watched him warily and tried for a smile. "Guess what I'm dressed as."
Junsu glanced at him briefly. "A marshmallow."
He gave a sheepish smile. "A ghost."
Now Junsu stared at him. All of them had come in tremendously horrific Halloween costumes. Except Yunho. He'd decided to go with the cape and added a little fake blood to his plastic fangs. He was a marvelous vampire.
Yoochun chuckled. "Yeah, it's pretty bad, I know."
"Awful." Junsu agreed.
"I'm not as creative as you. Which player are you supposed to be again?"
"Kim Junsu," He grumbled. "The most epik unknown soccer player of all freaking time."
Yoochun leaned against the porch railing next to him. "I'd want his autograph."
Junsu folded his arms on the railing and laid his head on them. "Congratulations. You're his one and only fan."
Yoochun smiled quietly. "I don't mind."
Junsu didn't answer.
Yoochun looked at him. "You've been weird all day."
"Some would say I've been weird all my life."
Yoochun laughed. "I'd have to agree."
"So would Yunho." Junsu mumbled.
"What's wrong?"
Junsu sighed. "My life is crumbling as we speak. Something bad is about to happen."
"That's not good." Yoochun said, frowning.
Junsu gave a definitive sigh. "I'm going to leave the country."
"Don't do that to me. I won't let you."
"Try and stop me. I'll soccer-ninja kick my way to a remote island off the coast of Japan."
"If you leave," Yoochun said much quieter, kicking the railing with his shoe. "Then I can't do what I'm about to do..."
Junsu looked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
Yoochun glanced at him nervously. "I have a secret."
"You already told me."
He shook his head. "Not that one. It's...more than that. I don't know if you'll appreciate it."
Junsu blinked at him and Yoochun took a deep breath. "I'm the one that sent you those messages."
Junsu's mind reeled and he nearly lost his balance and fell off the porch.
It was Yoochun. Everything up til now was just an act! He knew but he was just waiting til the right moment to spring it on Junsu when he had his guard down so he could punish him.
Junsu backed away and for whatever reason, perhaps an overload of all different shades of emotions, tears began to well up.
Why did it have to be Yoochun? It could've been Yunho. Dammit, he could've dealt with it if it had been Changmin. But not Yoochun. He can't hate Junsu. It just wasn't fair.
Yoochun continued, "Junsu, I have something to say. And this isn't easy-"
"I'm sorry."
"What?" Yoochun cocked his head to the side and then his face blanched when he saw big, wet tears streaming down Junsu's cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
"But it's not my fault." Junsu blurted. "It's just how I feel. You of all people should understand, Yoochun!" He rubbed a fist in one eye. "I don't know how much of it you saw but what happened at the end wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not that weird!"
Yoochun was speechlessly befuddled.
"You saw me yesterday, admit it!" Junsu wailed. "Just admit it and stop torturing me." Then he grabbed Yoochun's hand and clutched it desperately. "But you can't tell Yunho, please he can't know. He'll hate me. I live with him."
Yoochun held Junsu's hand tight. "Tell him what, Su?"
Junsu gulped. "That you saw me masturbating to gay porn on pay-per-view in our dorm yesterday. Yunho would murder me if he found out what a mess I made. He'd never set foot in our room again. And then what I did afterward to clean it up..."
Yoochun gawked. "Oh my-"
"And it hurts that you would do this to me, Chunnie!" He sniffled. "You're gay, too."
"Junsu-"
"Oh shit." Junsu gasped. "It was that last part that freaked you out, right? That's why you think I'm disgusting, right? But I swear I didn't mean to! You walked in at the wrong time. I was just really into it and the TV remote was too close to my ass so I accidentally pressed buttons and...it changed to March of the Penguins as I was cumming."
Yoochun clamped a hand over his mouth. "Holy shit..."
"But I was already cumming to the gay office sex scene! I mean, yeah I busted a nut right when Morgan Freeman's voice came in but I was already so close and I couldn't stop it."
"Junsu...stop..."
Junsu tugged on his hand desperately. "Alright, it's out. I'm gay. But that's it! I'm not a penguin-loving freak who jerks off to the sound of Morgan Freeman's soothing narrations."
Yoochun took Junsu firmly by this shoulders. By this time, he was smiling uncontrollably. "Junsu, listen to me."
He whimpered.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Junsu froze, mouth dry. What?
Yoochun was still smiling, lips stretching from ear to ear. "But it's a relief. Because that revelation makes this a whole lot easier." He leaned in closer, their noses almost touching. "Do you want to know what my real secret is?"
Junsu nodded slowly, mind gone fuzzy.
"I like you."
Junsu's mouth dropped open in astonishment but Yoochun dove in and kissed him, helping himself and taking full advantage of his mouth.
Apparently Yoochun had snacked on candy corn earlier because he tasted sugary sweet. Junsu liked candy corn.
When he pulled back, Junsu stared at Yoochun with wide, glassy eyes. "Why?"
Tipping his head back, Yoochun laughed low and loud before responding, "I have no idea."
A light flush in his cheeks, Junsu smiled and licked his lips. He tasted like candy corn, too. "There's a lot of reasons why I like you."
Yoochun grinned stupidly.
"But I'm too embarrassed to remember what they are right now..."
Yoochun hugged him, trapping him in his arms and murmured into his hair. "That's okay. I guess I'm just relieved I'm not in love with a guy who's into Arctic bestiality and...Morgan Freeman."
The door burst open again and the cacophony of the soon-to-be-out-of-control-and-apprehended-by-the-police-because-the-neighbors-were-old-jackasses party and three people spilled out, with a bewildered Changmin leading and an enraged Yunho not far behind with a very cheerful Jaejoong stuck to his side.
"Oooooooh!" Jaejoong hooted, pointing blearily at the two on the porch. "Yoochun and Junsu sittin' in a tree. F-U-C-C-K-N-G." It seemed Jaejoong had finally gotten around to getting as plastered as he had dreamed he would.
"He can't even spell 'fucking' anymore." Changmin rolled his eyes.
It took a while for Junsu to realize Yunho was jabbing an accusing finger at him, among other distracting things such as baring a pair of bloody fangs and keeping Jaejoong's entire body weight off the ground. "You."
"Me?" Junsu meeped.
"You," Yunho repeated menacingly, "almost got Brad Pitt killed!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Junsu hid behind Yoochun. Guilty as charged.
"Changmin said he spent half the night in Heechul's room hunting for a 'wild serpent' that had snuck into his room." Yunho tried to look angry with Jaejoong giggling into his face, smearing a bit of his vampire blood on his cheek. However, it appeared that Jaejoong had already somehow acquired another curious pair of perfect, fang-like red dots on his neck. Several pairs of perfect, fang-like red dots, actually.
"I heard Heechul screaming like a girl across the hall. Turned out it was Brad. Heechul wanted to shoot him." Changmin said helpfully.
Junsu found himself inexplicably grateful that Jaejoong was a single whiff of whiskey away from passing out or Yunho would've surely strangled Junsu right there on the porch. He loved his pet snake dearly for reasons Junsu couldn't possibly begin to understand.
"And I know it was you that took the lid off his tank." Yunho's growl turned into an oomph when Jaejoong tripped and started clawing at his his cape and knocked his fake fangs out. "Changmin saw you doing something weird right before he got out. Guilty! You were spotted at the scene of the crime!"
Junsu and Yoochun stared. Changmin's cheeks flushed bright pink.
"Min?" Junsu squeaked. "What did you see...?
Changmin ran a hand through his hair and stammered. "Just you...alone...with Morgan Freeman."
Junsu died spiritually and Yoochun laughed his ass off.
"It's not what you think!"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"NO!" Junsu pleaded. "I was masturbating to GAY PORN. Not Morgan Freeman's penguins. I swear! It was the remote control!" Then he rubbed the back of his neck and added quietly, "And then I may have accidentally tossed the towel I used to clean up my mess on top of Brad's tank. Then I had to take his tank cover off to clean it in the bathroom so Yunho wouldn't freak out but when I came back Brad was gone..."
"Oh my god..." Yunho had grown woozy and collapsed with Jaejoong on top of him. Yunho now looked pale and sickly but Jaejoong seemed pleased.
"You can sleep at my place for a while, Su. You know, til Yunho stops wanting to cut you in your sleep." Yoochun suggested hopefully.
"It's alright, Su. I guess I understand." Changmin scratched his head.
"Thank you." Junsu mumbled.
"Wait," Changmin paused. "Did you say gay porn?"
"Ah..."
Changmin nodded matter-of-factly. "I knew it."
--------------------------------
Comments and votes, please! :D I entered this in a Halloween contest at yoosu_yongwonhi
<3
By the way, a little side note: I wrote this between the hours of 11pm and 7am in order to make the contest deadline. x_x I can't even pass out right now because if I do I'm NOT getting up for class. (Heh. Yeah, I gots exams today~<3) So forgive me if I'm a little CRAZY 8D
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Disclaimer: I don't even own candy corn, let alone Min's awesomeness T.T
Author: k_chan91
Pairing: Yoosu :::: ninja!Yunjae
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Comedy, mystery, romance, fluff
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Language, Jaejoong
Summary: Someone knows Junsu's dark, Halloween secret. Will they expose his secret to the world or leave poor Junsu alone with his tortured soul?
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Tricky Treats
"Oh shit..."
Before Junsu could catch his breath, the door behind him slammed shut. If he had turned his head any faster, his head would've twisted clear off his neck and he would've surely perished. Perhaps that would've been a more preferable ending.
Someone had seen him.
"Oh shit, oh shit."
Scrambling to the door, Junsu peered out into the hallway, hands shaking, heart thudding, adrenaline rushing. No one was there.
This was bad.
He tripped up the hallway to the community bathroom and shoved a trash can in front of the door. He doubted that kind of barricade would last very long. Quickly, he ran ice cold water over his hands and scrubbed. God, it wouldn't get off. And there was still an even bigger mess in his room.
It was everywhere. Pools of it spreading across the tiled floor. If he didn't take care of it soon, it would spread to his roommate's shoes under his bed and the evidence would be there. Tarnished and stained. He wanted to forget. Because if this got out, he could never be forgiven.
Junsu scrubbed til his fingers went numb.
:::::
The next morning, Junsu stood in front of the door. The only light filtered through the blinds in the window and shed just enough cool morning light for Junsu to read the writing scribbled on the scrap piece of paper he'd found shoved under the door.
I have a secret. I'm going to tell.
Junsu's ears were ringing. When he'd had gone to bed last night, he'd convinced himself that he had only imagined that someone had been at the door.
But there was a witness. And this was clearly a threat.
When the door opened, Junsu jumped six feet in the air and nearly dropped the note on the floor. "Yunho!" He squeaked.
Yunho stared at him, hair and chest wet with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He raised an eyebrow high. "Junsu..."
Junsu frowned. Of course Yunho knew. He had to know. It had happened right there in their dorm room. He had done so many awful things, so many things he wished he could take back. But Yunho couldn't be so freaked out that he would decide to torture Junsu. Right?
Better to play this safe. Get on his good side early. Beg for mercy. "H-how was your shower?"
Yunho stared. "Exciting..."
"Oh... Was the soap...nice?"
"Yeah. It's banana-flavored."
Junsu gulped. "Good..."
Yunho stared. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"NO! Is there something YOU want to tell ME?!" Junsu's voice shot up about nine octaves.
"What the hell...?"
Junsu was panting by now. "I know you know, Yunho."
Yunho squinted. "Know...what?"
"Don't pretend you don't know! Yunho, you know. I know it!"
Yunho eyed him warily. "You should really eat some breakfast."
"Stop torturing me!" Junsu cried. "It was an accident, I swear! It's not what you think! You think I did it on purpose but I didn't! It's not like it's illegal. I mean, I don't think it is...Don't JUDGE me!"
Yunho's eyes grew about about four times their natural size. "WOAH. What are you talking about?"
Junsu took a few calming breathes. "Did you... Did you send me a note?"
Yunho's brow furrowed. "What note?"
Junsu watched him. Stared at him. Checked every inch of his face. Scrutinized every emotion written in his eyes. Right now it was predominantly riddled with genuine confusion and perhaps worry for his friend's mental health. It wasn't Yunho.
Once Junsu realized he was now standing about two inches away from Yunho's face and making the other very uncomfortable, Junsu stepped back, taking another deep breath. "Never mind."
If it wasn't Yunho, then who? Who could've sent him that note? Who would take pleasure out of torturing Junsu that much? It was an accident. He didn't mean for that to happen. Someone had walked in at a very inopportune time yesterday and Junsu had to find out who it was and set them straight.
So if it wasn't Yunho, then all of Junsu's other frequent visitors must be questioned. Those who routinely rudely walked in the dorm room whenever they so pleased included Changmin, Jaejoong and Yoochun.
As Junsu stepped around a very puzzled Yunho and opened the door, he heard his roommate's voice before he walked out.
"Hey... Where's Brad?"
Junsu quickly shut the door behind him.
:::::
Junsu was on his fifth expresso at Starbucks and still donning his ducky pajamas.
Yoochun walked in and swept the room before his eyes landed on Junsu and he walked over. He observed Junsu and his caffeine army. "Rough morning?"
Junsu just nodded, in a daze.
Yoochun sat in the booth across from him. "I came by your room earlier. Yunho said I'd find you here. What happened to Brad?"
Junsu fiddled with his straw. "W-why are you asking me?"
"Um, you're Yunho's roommate?"
"Well, I dunno."
"Yunho seems pretty upset. Brad couldn't have just disappeared without someone seeing something. When was the last time you saw him?"
"I don't know where the stupid reptile is, I swear!" Junsu blurted, earning a few turned heads in his direction.
"Come on. I know you hated that thing but Yunho-"
"Why did Yunho name a pet snake Brad Pitt, anyway? It's stupid!" Junsu's hands were shaking. He didn't know if it was from that fourth expresso or just his nerves. Why was Yoochun questioning him so much? Why should Junsu know anything about anything? Junsu knew nothing!
"But Yunho-"
"Who cares about Yunho! Yunho didn't care about me when he adopted the stupid thing and kept it in our room against university policy and against my will. I'd rather live with a freaking penguin than that creepy reptile that tried to eat me more than twice."
Yoochun peered at him. "What's wrong?"
Oops. Had he said too much? "No, no. Nothing's wrong here. Haha..."
A raised eyebrow. "I'll take that as a yes. But I'll ignore your weirdness for now." Yoochun looked at him pointedly. "Is that your costume?"
Junsu blinked. "Wah?"
He shrugged. "I just thought maybe you were going as 'Kim Junsu an hour after the party when you drink a half a shot glass of soju and pass out on the sofa so that I have to drag you home and tuck you away in your jammies.'"
Junsu looked at him blankly.
Yoochun cocked his head. "Jaejoong's Halloween party? Are you on ADHD medication? You're not supposed to take those if you don't have ADHD. Don't believe what Hyukjae tells you."
The gears finally turned. That's right. Today is Halloween. "Oh. N-no, I just... Like you said. Rough morning..."
Yoochun nodded, concerned. "You sick? I could get you noodle soup. Or Xbox Kinect. Whatever it is people use to get unsick."
Junsu smiled weakly. "No, thanks."
Yoochun gave a faint smile but stared at the table, picking at a paper napkin.
Junsu watched him. When Yoochun felt his eyes burning into his skin, he looked up. "What?"
Junsu tried this carefully. "Did you... Did you visit yesterday?"
"Uh, yeah." Yoochun said like it was obvious. Which it was. "You were there. Everyone was."
It was true. Everyone had been in the dorm yesterday. All five of them had gathered in his and Yunho's room playing video games and goofing around for several pointless, glorious hours.
But eventually, Changmin claimed he had an innocent study date with a girl but that usually meant he was going to some girl's house on the pretense of studying but would end up making out til she put out and he went home and forgot all about her. But somehow all those girls always seemed to pull A's in their classes after sessions with Changmin anyway.
Yunho had embarked on his late evening jog, which boggled Junsu to no end and Jaejoong had left because Yunho had left. Yoochun had just disappeared but Junsu had assumed he'd gone home to his off-campus apartment so he wouldn't have to drive home in the dark.
But there was a slight chance he hadn't left at all. In fact, there was a chance that he'd just gone to the bathroom for an extended amount of time. Enough time for Junsu to do his deed and make his fatal blunder just as Yoochun returned to witness it all.
That explained everything! Why was Yoochun nervously picking at his napkin and getting annoying paper snow flurries everywhere? Why wasn't he looking Junsu in the eye? He knew Junsu's secret. He knew!
But why would he tell? Junsu had thought they were closer than that.
"Does he hate me?"
Yoochun looked up at Junsu, bewildered. "Where did you get that idea? And did you just refer to me in awkward third person?"
Had Junsu said that aloud? "Uh, just...so..." He sighed, defeated. "It was you, wasn't it?"
"What?"
"Please, Yoochun. Just tell me. You're my best friend and I...I don't want you to hate me."
Yoochun bit his lip. "Junsu, it is biologically impossible for me to hate you."
"Then why are you doing this to me?"
Yoochun eyed him carefully. "Did Jaejoong say something to you?"
Junsu's eyes went wide. "Oh my god. Jaejoong knows, too?! Oh god, if Jaejoong knows, then Changmin knows. And if Changmin knows, then Yunho knows. Does Yunho know? Oh god, he knows."
Yoochun winced. "No, it's just Jaejoong as far as I know. I figured I could trust him."
"This is a disaster." Junsu smacked a hand to his forehead.
"I'm sorry." Yoochun squirmed in his seat.
"Oh, the agony."
Yoochun sighed heavily, staring at the table. "At least this saves me the trouble of embarrassing myself later on."
"Oh, the treachery... Wait..." What? What did this have to do with Yoochun?
Yoochun was slumped down in his chair, hair falling over his downcast face. "It's okay. At least you let me know to my face up front. You have my permission to hate me now that you know I'm gay. I don't blame you."
Junsu blinked. "Eh?"
Yoochun nibbled on his lower lip. "I meant to tell you sooner but...it's hard, you know? I honestly didn't mean to tell Jaejoong yet, either."
Junsu's mouth hung uselessly open for quite a while before he leaned back and guffawed, loud and hard. Yoochun froze in his seat, eyeing him with escalating discomfort.
"That's your secret?" Junsu wiped the tears from his eyes. "You're gay?"
Yoochun's brow was drawn in a puzzled line. "Yeah..."
Junsu laughed again, leaving himself breathless. "That's wonderful!"
His mouth floundered open and closed. "You mean...you don't hate me?"
Junsu reached across the table and touched his arm, smiling brightly. "You're still the same Yoochun to me."
A slow smiled curved along Yoochun's face.
"An overly sensitive cry baby with shaggy hair." To punctuate, Junsu mussed up Yoochun's hair, leaving a tangled mess.
"So you're okay with it?" Yoochun peered through his bird's nest mane.
"Of course!"
"So what were you so upset about earlier?"
Junsu drummed his fingers on the table. "Oh, nothing..."
Yoochun watched him apprehensively. "You okay, Su?"
"Yeah, yeah. I said I'm fine with it. It's great!"
"No, I mean are you still feeling sick? I don't want you to go to Jae's party if you aren't feeling well. I kinda really need you to be there...but only if you're feeling okay."
Junsu poked him playfully. "So I can be there to cancel out your social awkwardness?"
With that, Yoochun swiped Junsu's last remaining expresso. "No more for you," and sipped it on his way out of the cafe.
:::::
When Junsu returned to his room, he found Yunho standing in front of his bed, staring at the vampire costume spread out on his bed. "Should I go with or without the cape?"
Junsu was just glad Yunho had somehow distracted himself from the earlier incident. On most days, Brad would just show up by himself one way or another. But Junsu's secret wish was for Brad's final demise. "Neither. Get a jet pack."
Yunho glanced at him stupidly. "That doesn't make any sense."
"Yeah, but then you could fly. Like a bat."
Yunho went with his usual default when Junsu chose not to heed logic and ignored him. He then looked up as if he suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah. I think there's a note for you." He pointed to a piece of paper on Junsu's desk.
Junsu's eyes locked on the vaguely familiar looking scrap placed menacingly on his desk. He gulped. "You sure it's for me?"
Yunho was still frowning at his costume. "Yeah. Someone slipped it under the door some time after you left and ran off before I could find out who they were. I don't know anyone who would bother writing something like that to me so I figured it must be for you."
"I see..." Gingerly, as if the paper were coated in some highly contagious radioactive toxin that would liquify his organs from the inside, Junsu picked it up by the corner and read it.
See you tonight. Happy Halloween.
Junsu crushed the paper in his palm. Oh shit.
:::::
Junsu stomped down the hall in his socks. He was still wearing his ducky pajamas.
He was going to find out whoever it was that was threatening him once and for all even if it killed him. This person was obviously referring to Jaejoong's Halloween party in his note.
That could only mean one thing: They were going to tell everyone at the party. He couldn't let that happen. Yunho, especially couldn't know. Good lord, he lived with the guy.
So now Junsu was cracked out on four and a half tall expressos and knocking on his next suspect's door til he all but split the wood in half. Finally, the door swung open.
Changmin towered over him. Glowering. "WHAT?"
Junsu was shaking. Mostly because of the caffeine overdose. "Don't do it!"
"The fuck?"
Junsu's dilated eyes went huge and wild. "You can't! You know I love you!"
Changmin looked him up and down and took a step back. "If this is a love confession, I'm gonna have to decline but I can't say I'm surprised."
Lunging forward, Junsu grabbed Changmin's collar. But instead of taking charge and shaking Changmin down for the answers he needed like the manly, aggressive image he was going for, he just clung to Changmin like he was drowning and perhaps sobbed a little. "You can't tell. Please, you can't! It'll ruin my life!"
"Get off me!"
"It was an accident, I SWEAR! It's not what you think!"
"Where the hell is your babysitter?" Changmin grunted. "YUNHO!"
"Okay, at first it wasn't an accident. And I'd do it again, dammit. I'd do it again!"
Changmin tried in vain to wrench Junsu's desperate little fists off of him. "You're stretching my shirt. This was a gift!"
"But then what happened afterwards went horribly wrong and...oh damn." Junsu clamped a hand over his mouth and he turned green.
Changmin's eyes went wide. "YUUUUUUNHOOOO!"
When Yunho finally emerged from his room, perplexed and alarmed, Junsu had made a run for the bathroom down the hall to puke four and a half servings worth of caffeine.
:::::
Junsu lay sprawled out, pale, queasy, waiting to die.
"You don't even drink coffee." Yoochun ran his fingers through Junsu's hair, patting a cool, damp towel on his forehead as he lay on the sofa with his head in Yoochun's lap.
Junsu murmured something about the 'many different shades of pink and brown' and Yoochun bit back a smile.
"You don't have to go to Jaejoong's party if you're too sick."
Junsu moaned. "I have to..."
"No. Stay at home. I'll take care of you right here. It'll probably make this whole thing easier on me..."
"No..." Junsu wondered why the room wouldn't stop spinning. Did Yoochun always have two heads? "I have....to cancel out...your awkward..."
Yoochun smothered him with a pillow. "Happy Halloween."
:::::
Junsu had shown up at Jaejoong's party dressed in his soccer uniform along with vampire Yunho. He planned on just calling himself a random famous soccer player if anyone asked. He'd wanted to go as a Jonas brother but he just couldn't fit his ass into those skinny jeans like he had miraculously a week ago when he'd taken thirty minutes trying to force them on in the store's dressing room.
But no time to worry about that. He'd ruled Changmin out for now. Mostly because Junsu had been at the party for about an hour and hadn't even seen him there yet. If this secret was supposed to be spilled at Jaejoong's party, shouldn't the whistle-blower be present?
Anyway, Junsu had moved on to Jaejoong. Who was a surprisingly difficult specimen to locate at his own shindig.
Eventually, he'd finally found him in the kitchen, standing on the counter singing karaoke into a cucumber with a dozen people surrounding him, cheering him on. Junsu cautiously approached the counter, careful not to get kicked in the head by a flying limb.
"Jaejoong...can I talk to you?"
Suddenly, Jaejoong pointed at Junsu dramatically, rolling his hips to the beat in his head, "ALLLLLLL THE SINGLE LADIES! ALLLLLLLL THE SINGLE LADIES!"
There's an excellent crowd. He's drunk as hell. He's got a cucumber. This was the perfect environment for Jaejoong to blab all about Junsu's dirty little secret. Junsu had to get him down and convince him not to tell before it was too late.
"Please? I really need to talk to you."
Jaejoong grabbed his cucumber with both hands, overflowing with some foreign emotion that probably had no known scientific name as of yet, "Now put your hands UUUUP!"
"Jae?"
"IIIIIIf you liked it then you shoulda put a RING ON IT."
A lightbulb went off in Junsu's head. "Joongie~ I brought extra vodka. Wanna see?"
Jaejoong beamed and immediately jumped off the counter with a perfect landing, veggie in hand. "Uh, uh, OOH uh, uh, OOH, uh, uh, uh, OOH." He smacked Junsu's ass, earning whoops from the kitchen crowd before Junsu dragged him off to a quieter side of the house near the bathroom.
Junsu held Jaejoong by his shoulders, shaking him a little and spoke loudly as if sheer volume would make the inebriated man understand. "I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. IT'S REALLLLLLLY IMPOOOOORTANT."
Jaejoong waved him off, stumbling a little, "Cut it out. I'm not that drunk. It's just fun to act like it."
Junsu peered at him anxiously. "So, would it be too much to ask you not to do something really stupid tonight?"
Jaejoong grinned. "I didn't say I wasn't gonna get drunk."
For no reason Junsu could see other than pure frustration, he slapped Jaejoong clear across the face.
"OW!! The fuck, Junsu?!"
Junsu winced. "Sorry. I'm stressed."
Jaejoong glared at him, rubbing his cheek. "Most people take their stress out on their friends by arguing about stupid shit, not battery."
"I'm sorry," Junsu apologized feebly. "You're my last chance. It had to have been you."
"What are you talking about?"
Junsu took a deep breath. "You were with us yesterday."
Jaejoong nodded. "All Hallow's Eve. Yes."
"And you were one of the last to leave."
"Yeah. Yunho left and he's the only one who can beat me at Smash Bros. Brawl. Sorry but you're a wimp."
"Yes, but yesterday...did you...maybe come back to me and Yunho's dorm...and see something you weren't supposed to see?"
At first Jaejoong just blinked at him. Then his eyes slowly grew wider as realization dawned over him.
Junsu bit his nails. "I knew it. I just knew it. You saw."
Jaejoong shook his head, frowning deeply. "So it really happened..."
"Yes! It really happened, Jae. Just please...don't tell anyone. Especially don't tell Yunho that you know. I live with him. I know it was weird but it's not what you think. Really! I was just...I couldn't help it. It just happened."
Jaejoong crossed his arms and glared metaphoric holes through Junsu's skin. Wow, he really was a lot more lucid than he let on. That, or Junsu had smacked some sober into him.
"You're..." Jaejoong shook his head incredulously. "How could you?"
"I don't know. It's just the way I feel!"
"Maybe I have no right to tell you this," Jaejoong spat. "But you really fucking suck, Junsu."
"I know!" Junsu cried.
"There are boundaries. I know I wasn't explicit but I thought I made that clear."
"I said I'm sorry! But you can't tell. I'll be humiliated."
Jaejoong scowled. "Tell? I'd never tell anyone." He looked away solemnly. "I'd rather just forget."
Hesitating, Junsu regarded Jaejoong curiously. "But the note. You said you'd tell."
"Why would I embarrass Yunho? He's ripped my heart out but I'm not going to ridicule the guy."
"Yunho saw it, too?! I knew it!"
Jaejoong looked at him like a alien had dropped out of the sky and laid eggs on Junsu's head. "UMMMM, YEAH, Su. If you and Yunho fucked in your room then I'm pretty sure he saw your penis, too."
Junsu coughed. Then he choked a little and coughed some more. "What?!"
Jaejoong shook his head. "And Min says I'm the dim one."
"Wait!" Junsu flailed. "You think me and Yunho did...that?"
"Isn't that what you're trying to tell me? You stole the love of my life. Whatever, bitch. Take him. For now. I'll win him back. You and I can just never be friends again."
"Noo!" Junsu was devastated.
The eldest shrugged. "That's love, Su."
"H-hold on!" Junsu sputtered. "I never had sex with Yunho."
Jaejoong regarded him with markedly less hostility. "Really?"
"Of course not! Yunho's my friend but he's icky." Junsu chortled at the thought.
"So..." Jaejoong ran it all through his head. "What you think I saw...wasn't you and Yunho writhing in your bed having hot, lusty, saliva-coated-"
"NO." Junsu suddenly felt dizzy.
Jaejoong clapped his hands. "Omg, yay!"
"Yay!" Junsu clapped, too. "So this means...you're gay?"
Shoving him playfully, Jaejoong giggled. "Duh~ I thought you knew."
"Wanna know a secret?"
"Yeah, yeah."
Junsu leaned closer. "Me, too!"
"Omg!"
"Yeah!"
"Did Yoochun tell you-"
"Yep."
"So all three of us are-"
"Yep!"
"Omg!"
"Yay!"
They hugged.
"So what's the secret you were trying to tell me earlier?" Jaejoong asked.
"Uh...not...I... So you like Yunho? That's awesome!"
"Yeah!" Jaejoong suddenly lowered his voice. "So?"
"So, what?"
"You live with him." Jaejoong nudged him. "Do you think he's gay, too?"
Junsu snorted. "The guy showers with banana-flavored soap. He's all yours."
They joyfully embraced again.
When Junsu pulled back he glanced at Jaejoong's attire. He didn't appear to be dressed in any particular way. In fact, he looked rather normal for Jaejoong's standard. "So, what are you supposed to be?"
Jaejoong spread his arms as if to display himself. "Can't you tell? I'm Beyonce."
Junsu stared. "Does Beyonce usually look so much like, um...Jaejoong?"
Jaejoong waved dismissively. "I was already too hammered by the time the party started and couldn't get my Single Ladies leotard on."
Junsu found his words clogged somewhere in his throat backed up behind ummm's and uhhhh's and wtf's.
"I'm kidding." Jaejoong said.
Junsu gulped.
"Or am I...?" Jaejoong grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
Junsu didn't feel he was ready to know.
:::::
The only quiet place Junsu could find was outside on the porch. They were too close to the city to see any stars but it was enough to help clear his mind.
It wasn't Yunho. It wasn't Yoochun. It wasn't Jaejoong. And it wasn't Changmin. He'd seen the youngest show up much later and after stalking Changmin none too subtly and convincing people who stared at him as he stalked him that he had gone to the costume party as Changmin's shadow, he'd discovered after extensive eavesdropping that Changmin didn't seem at all keen on revealing any dark secrets.
He just mixed and mingled like a normal party goer. However, Changmin often found it necessary to explain what exactly it was he had come as:
"Hey, Min. What are you supposed to be?"
"Red pants. Yellow shirt. What do you think?"
"Uhhh-"
"I'm a hotdog. With ketchup and mustard."
"But where' s the meat?"
Devious grin. "Obviously..."
Maybe it had been someone else on Junsu's hall that had seen him. But there were at least twenty other guys on his hall. How many of them had shown up to Jaejoong's party? Did it matter, anyway? Whoever it was was going to tell eventually, whether Junsu begged or not.
They were probably already gossiping. Half the party probably already knew. He'd taken refuge out on the porch once he swore he'd seen Yuri dressed as Princess Peach staring at him in what he had interpreted as utter disgust. Of course, it may have been utter confusion associated with the fact that Junsu had been hiding behind a vase as Changmin sampled from the snack table. But it was hard to tell.
It was all over. He'd have to transfer to a different college. He'd never get to talk to Yoochun again. He'd never wake up to Yunho across the room in his bed asleep with his mouth hanging wide open again. He'd never bribe Changmin into helping him with his math homework without taunting him again. He'd never hear Jaejoong make unnecessary comments about his ass again. He'd never let Yoochun take care of him while he recovered from substance overdose again.
Just as Junsu sighed, he heard the door behind him open. Yoochun peeked out, dressed in white pants and a white shirt, hair looking fluffier than usual.
"Hey."
"Hey." Junsu said gloomily.
The other watched him warily and tried for a smile. "Guess what I'm dressed as."
Junsu glanced at him briefly. "A marshmallow."
He gave a sheepish smile. "A ghost."
Now Junsu stared at him. All of them had come in tremendously horrific Halloween costumes. Except Yunho. He'd decided to go with the cape and added a little fake blood to his plastic fangs. He was a marvelous vampire.
Yoochun chuckled. "Yeah, it's pretty bad, I know."
"Awful." Junsu agreed.
"I'm not as creative as you. Which player are you supposed to be again?"
"Kim Junsu," He grumbled. "The most epik unknown soccer player of all freaking time."
Yoochun leaned against the porch railing next to him. "I'd want his autograph."
Junsu folded his arms on the railing and laid his head on them. "Congratulations. You're his one and only fan."
Yoochun smiled quietly. "I don't mind."
Junsu didn't answer.
Yoochun looked at him. "You've been weird all day."
"Some would say I've been weird all my life."
Yoochun laughed. "I'd have to agree."
"So would Yunho." Junsu mumbled.
"What's wrong?"
Junsu sighed. "My life is crumbling as we speak. Something bad is about to happen."
"That's not good." Yoochun said, frowning.
Junsu gave a definitive sigh. "I'm going to leave the country."
"Don't do that to me. I won't let you."
"Try and stop me. I'll soccer-ninja kick my way to a remote island off the coast of Japan."
"If you leave," Yoochun said much quieter, kicking the railing with his shoe. "Then I can't do what I'm about to do..."
Junsu looked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
Yoochun glanced at him nervously. "I have a secret."
"You already told me."
He shook his head. "Not that one. It's...more than that. I don't know if you'll appreciate it."
Junsu blinked at him and Yoochun took a deep breath. "I'm the one that sent you those messages."
Junsu's mind reeled and he nearly lost his balance and fell off the porch.
It was Yoochun. Everything up til now was just an act! He knew but he was just waiting til the right moment to spring it on Junsu when he had his guard down so he could punish him.
Junsu backed away and for whatever reason, perhaps an overload of all different shades of emotions, tears began to well up.
Why did it have to be Yoochun? It could've been Yunho. Dammit, he could've dealt with it if it had been Changmin. But not Yoochun. He can't hate Junsu. It just wasn't fair.
Yoochun continued, "Junsu, I have something to say. And this isn't easy-"
"I'm sorry."
"What?" Yoochun cocked his head to the side and then his face blanched when he saw big, wet tears streaming down Junsu's cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
"But it's not my fault." Junsu blurted. "It's just how I feel. You of all people should understand, Yoochun!" He rubbed a fist in one eye. "I don't know how much of it you saw but what happened at the end wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not that weird!"
Yoochun was speechlessly befuddled.
"You saw me yesterday, admit it!" Junsu wailed. "Just admit it and stop torturing me." Then he grabbed Yoochun's hand and clutched it desperately. "But you can't tell Yunho, please he can't know. He'll hate me. I live with him."
Yoochun held Junsu's hand tight. "Tell him what, Su?"
Junsu gulped. "That you saw me masturbating to gay porn on pay-per-view in our dorm yesterday. Yunho would murder me if he found out what a mess I made. He'd never set foot in our room again. And then what I did afterward to clean it up..."
Yoochun gawked. "Oh my-"
"And it hurts that you would do this to me, Chunnie!" He sniffled. "You're gay, too."
"Junsu-"
"Oh shit." Junsu gasped. "It was that last part that freaked you out, right? That's why you think I'm disgusting, right? But I swear I didn't mean to! You walked in at the wrong time. I was just really into it and the TV remote was too close to my ass so I accidentally pressed buttons and...it changed to March of the Penguins as I was cumming."
Yoochun clamped a hand over his mouth. "Holy shit..."
"But I was already cumming to the gay office sex scene! I mean, yeah I busted a nut right when Morgan Freeman's voice came in but I was already so close and I couldn't stop it."
"Junsu...stop..."
Junsu tugged on his hand desperately. "Alright, it's out. I'm gay. But that's it! I'm not a penguin-loving freak who jerks off to the sound of Morgan Freeman's soothing narrations."
Yoochun took Junsu firmly by this shoulders. By this time, he was smiling uncontrollably. "Junsu, listen to me."
He whimpered.
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Junsu froze, mouth dry. What?
Yoochun was still smiling, lips stretching from ear to ear. "But it's a relief. Because that revelation makes this a whole lot easier." He leaned in closer, their noses almost touching. "Do you want to know what my real secret is?"
Junsu nodded slowly, mind gone fuzzy.
"I like you."
Junsu's mouth dropped open in astonishment but Yoochun dove in and kissed him, helping himself and taking full advantage of his mouth.
Apparently Yoochun had snacked on candy corn earlier because he tasted sugary sweet. Junsu liked candy corn.
When he pulled back, Junsu stared at Yoochun with wide, glassy eyes. "Why?"
Tipping his head back, Yoochun laughed low and loud before responding, "I have no idea."
A light flush in his cheeks, Junsu smiled and licked his lips. He tasted like candy corn, too. "There's a lot of reasons why I like you."
Yoochun grinned stupidly.
"But I'm too embarrassed to remember what they are right now..."
Yoochun hugged him, trapping him in his arms and murmured into his hair. "That's okay. I guess I'm just relieved I'm not in love with a guy who's into Arctic bestiality and...Morgan Freeman."
The door burst open again and the cacophony of the soon-to-be-out-of-control-and-apprehended-by-the-police-because-the-neighbors-were-old-jackasses party and three people spilled out, with a bewildered Changmin leading and an enraged Yunho not far behind with a very cheerful Jaejoong stuck to his side.
"Oooooooh!" Jaejoong hooted, pointing blearily at the two on the porch. "Yoochun and Junsu sittin' in a tree. F-U-C-C-K-N-G." It seemed Jaejoong had finally gotten around to getting as plastered as he had dreamed he would.
"He can't even spell 'fucking' anymore." Changmin rolled his eyes.
It took a while for Junsu to realize Yunho was jabbing an accusing finger at him, among other distracting things such as baring a pair of bloody fangs and keeping Jaejoong's entire body weight off the ground. "You."
"Me?" Junsu meeped.
"You," Yunho repeated menacingly, "almost got Brad Pitt killed!"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Junsu hid behind Yoochun. Guilty as charged.
"Changmin said he spent half the night in Heechul's room hunting for a 'wild serpent' that had snuck into his room." Yunho tried to look angry with Jaejoong giggling into his face, smearing a bit of his vampire blood on his cheek. However, it appeared that Jaejoong had already somehow acquired another curious pair of perfect, fang-like red dots on his neck. Several pairs of perfect, fang-like red dots, actually.
"I heard Heechul screaming like a girl across the hall. Turned out it was Brad. Heechul wanted to shoot him." Changmin said helpfully.
Junsu found himself inexplicably grateful that Jaejoong was a single whiff of whiskey away from passing out or Yunho would've surely strangled Junsu right there on the porch. He loved his pet snake dearly for reasons Junsu couldn't possibly begin to understand.
"And I know it was you that took the lid off his tank." Yunho's growl turned into an oomph when Jaejoong tripped and started clawing at his his cape and knocked his fake fangs out. "Changmin saw you doing something weird right before he got out. Guilty! You were spotted at the scene of the crime!"
Junsu and Yoochun stared. Changmin's cheeks flushed bright pink.
"Min?" Junsu squeaked. "What did you see...?
Changmin ran a hand through his hair and stammered. "Just you...alone...with Morgan Freeman."
Junsu died spiritually and Yoochun laughed his ass off.
"It's not what you think!"
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"NO!" Junsu pleaded. "I was masturbating to GAY PORN. Not Morgan Freeman's penguins. I swear! It was the remote control!" Then he rubbed the back of his neck and added quietly, "And then I may have accidentally tossed the towel I used to clean up my mess on top of Brad's tank. Then I had to take his tank cover off to clean it in the bathroom so Yunho wouldn't freak out but when I came back Brad was gone..."
"Oh my god..." Yunho had grown woozy and collapsed with Jaejoong on top of him. Yunho now looked pale and sickly but Jaejoong seemed pleased.
"You can sleep at my place for a while, Su. You know, til Yunho stops wanting to cut you in your sleep." Yoochun suggested hopefully.
"It's alright, Su. I guess I understand." Changmin scratched his head.
"Thank you." Junsu mumbled.
"Wait," Changmin paused. "Did you say gay porn?"
"Ah..."
Changmin nodded matter-of-factly. "I knew it."
--------------------------------
Comments and votes, please! :D I entered this in a Halloween contest at yoosu_yongwonhi
<3
By the way, a little side note: I wrote this between the hours of 11pm and 7am in order to make the contest deadline. x_x I can't even pass out right now because if I do I'm NOT getting up for class. (Heh. Yeah, I gots exams today~<3) So forgive me if I'm a little CRAZY 8D
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