Baby Daddies 2 [Oneshot/Sequel]
Title: Baby Daddies 2
Author: k_chan91
Disclaimer: I'd love to own Min's babies. 8D But I don't
Pairings: OT5, Jaemin
Length: Oneshot
Genre: crack, fluff, Su!street fights
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, old ladies, Minpreg (x'D)
Summary: 9 months later and Junsu is in a taco shop, Yoochun is falling apart, Yunho is malfunctioning again and Jaejoong is as Jaejoong as ever. And Changmin? Let's just say Changmin is stressed. 3 years later and nothing much has changed but the Dong Bang family is bigger and the love is even warmer.
Sequel to: Baby Daddies
A/N: It would help a lil to read the original. ^^ Although the writing in the original oneshot is an example of my earlier work, I'm sure your eyes won't bleed. :'D
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Baby Daddies 2
"I'm getting me a taco, whatcha want?"
"Susu, we love you."
Junsu quirks an eyebrow and the lady behind him rolls her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"We love you." Jaejoong purrs into the cell phone and Junsu finds his insides melting and once again, he doesn't mind that Jaejoong confuses the hell out of him.
"I love you, too, but who's we?"
"Sir," The college student at the register is biting her fingernails and glancing nervously at the growing line of time bombs with low blood sugar standing impatiently behind Junsu. "I'm afraid you'll have to remove yourself from the line if you're not going to order."
Junsu flicks his wrist dismissively and a stout man at the back of the line cracks his knuckles.
"Me," Jaejoong's silken voice pours like milk into the receiver and Junsu briefly considers initiating some quick phone sex. "And Changmin."
And then he quickly withdraws that notion.
Junsu's ears grow pink. "Tell that overly emotional, prissy, smart-mouthed, son of a fat ass bitch to take his love and shove it up his pregnant penis." He ends with a tense smile and a mother in the middle of the line behind him clasps her hands over her son's ears.
"Mom, what's a son of a fat ass bitch?"
"Aw, Susu don't be like that." Junsu can practically hear the other man pout but that doesn't erase the last 9 months of hell on earth he'd had to endure. It took about that long for Junsu to acquire a loathing for grapefruit juice, foot massaging lotion and maknaes.
"Young man, can't you take your phone conversation somewhere else? The rest of us want to eat!" There is an old lady in a lavender and blue dress with a cane and way too much make up. She's now so livid, her fire engine red lipstick stands out like a wrinkled strawberry against her whitewashed powder-caked face.
Junsu glares. "The tacos aren't going anywhere."
Old lady stomps her foot. "Bitch!"
Junsu almost drops his phone. "What did you call me, old man?"
Old lady slings a stringy lock of salt and pepper hair out her face and sneers like any respectable seventy-year-old woman would. "I calls 'em like I sees 'em. And I think I just called you out. Whatcha gonna do, motherfucka?!"
Junsu blinks. Everyone else in the taco shop stares for a moment but soon realizes that this one old lady could be their one way ticket to taco heaven. So they murmur in agreement and begin to take on a slight air of mobbish fury. The frazzled college student at the register doesn't know where the manager is.
"Junsu, what are you doing?" Jaejoong says with more concern.
The younger man's eyes flash while he grips his cell phone in one hand til his knuckles go white. "I told you. I'm getting me a fucking taco. You want one?"
Jaejoong sighs and shakes his head. "You'd better not get in trouble. Changmin and the baby won't be happy."
"Get out of line!"
"We're hungry!"
"You can't just stand there with your phone shoved in your ear!"
"Manager-sshi! MANAGER-SSHI!! Where are you?!"
"I'll stick my cane up your asshole and bitchslap you with my medication, ya damn pussy ass cocksucker!"
"Mom, what's a damn pussy ass cocksucker?"
"Jae," Junsu growls into the receiver. "I gotta go."
"No, Su!" Jaejoong protests. "But Changmin needs you."
"I'm not getting that prick any more grapefruit juice!"
"He won't need it anymore after today."
"...You mean..."
"He's in labor."
Junsu falls eerily silent. And he isn't aware that his mouth is hanging open. The old lady is now in his face shouting something so loud that her dentures are coming loose. Someone at the back of line has invited their friends inside the taco shop to help with the taco obstruction. And the friends have tattoos and baseball bats.
"Junsu?" Jaejoong sings into the receiver. "Are you still there?"
Old lady takes out her earrings.
"Jaejoong..." He looks around the crowding taco shop. As soon as he sees a group of suburban housewives sharpening plastic forks against their teeth, he knows he doesn't have much time. "Where are you?"
"Hospital, of course~"
The growing mob inches closer and closer.
"I'll be there," Junsu mutters darkly under his breath. "Or I'll die trying."
"You wanna hear Minnie?" Jaejoong chirps and holds the phone next to the youngest's ear.
"JUNSU!!!" Changmin pants and his throat hurts from screaming at people and inanimate objects all afternoon. "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW OR THE NEXT TIME I GET AHOLD OF YOU, I'LL BANG YOU SO HARD, YOUR ASS'LL FALL OFF!!! AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!"
"Sir! Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't have a cell phone in the delivery room."
"SHUT UP AND GET THIS BABY OUT OF MEEEEEEEEEE!!"
"He'll be happy to see you~" Jaejoong says into the phone with pure glee and hangs up.
Junsu sighs and slips his phone in his back pocket. The atmosphere of the taco shop has taken on a sinister twist in such a short amount of time. There are children swinging from the light fixtures. They're foaming at the mouth. The old lady is sure to make the first punch.
Junsu takes a deep breath and rolls his shoulders back.
"I'M A DADDYYYYYY!!!"
Junsu lunges forward, fists swinging.
Old lady nails him in the mouth.
::::
"Yoochunnie~"
"Yeah, Jae?"
"Guess what~?"
"Hmmm?"
"Remember when I took Minnie out to go grocery shopping?"
Yoochun yawns and rolls over on top of Bambi. Why does Yunho keep leaving that here after sex? "Yes...thanks."
"No problem." Jaejoong beams into the cell phone. "We all needed a little fresh air."
"I need a fresh new life." Yoochun mumbles, rubbing his damp eyelids.
"You done crying, baby?"
"Mmhm."
"You know, Changmin doesn't mean to be so harsh. It's the hormones."
"Mmhm..."
"And your forehead isn't fat. Really. It isn't."
Yoochun curls up in a ball.
"Think you can hold off on the tears for a few hours, Chunnie?"
"Probably not. Why?"
"He's in labor."
"Wah?"
"Minnie's having a mini Min~"
"...Wah?"
"Here, he wants to talk to you~"
"No, wait, Jae--!"
"YOOOOOOOCHUN!!!"
Yoochun cringes and throws the bed sheets over his head.
"I BLAME YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"
Jaejoong is smiling proudly when he presses the cell back to his own ear, ignoring the nurse's glares. "He's dying to have you here. He needs your support, you know."
Yoochun whimpers. "I know."
"And guess what, Chunnie?" Jaejoong's voice drops to a whisper.
"Yeah?" Yoochun moans into the pillow.
"Once Changmin gives birth..."
Yoochun gulps.
"You can give Changmin his Thursday morning blowjobs again."
"Push, Shim-sshi! Push!"
"JAEFUCKINGJOONG, I'M DYING!!!!!"
"Hello? Yoochun? You still there?"
"Yeah."
"So, are you on your way?"
"I'm afraid..."
"Oh, baby, don't be. It could be anyone's baby. All Min needs is your support. Whether you knocked him up or not."
"I'm not worried about that anymore." Yoochun's voice is quiet but resolute. "The baby will be beautiful. And I'd be proud to be the father."
"Oh, that's a sweet change of heart, Chunnie~"
"But..."
"But?"
"But...where will the baby come out?"
"..."
"..."
"I'll see you at home, Chunnie."
"Meep..."
Yoochun cries himself to sleep.
::::
"Yunho."
"Jaejoong."
"Hey, baby."
"Heyyyy."
"Where are you, sexy?"
"Subway. Headed to the bank. Why, babe?"
"Wanna come to the hospital and have some fun?"
"Oh, sure. It might take a while but...wait...what?"
"Changmin is in labor. He'd feel so much better if you were here to give him butterfly kisses~"
"..."
"...Yunho?"
"..."
"Oh, no. Don't blank out now, Yunho."
"..."
"You still there? Please be there, Yunho."
"..."
"Okay, I can hear the subway through the phone, so I know you're still there. Is it too late to catch the B train?"
"..."
"Yunho, catch the B train."
"..."
"Yunho, don't you want to say hi to your baby?"
"..."
"Jaejoong....Is that....ngh......is that Yunho? TELL HIM I'M NEVER WATCHING MOVIES WITH HIM AGAIN!!"
"Sir! Please stop flailing around so much. You'll knock out another nurse."
"Changmin sends his love~ Don't you want his love~?"
"..."
"Yunnie, please. The baby wants to see your tiny face, I know it."
"...I want to see the baby, too."
"Aw, Yunnie~ So, are you coming?"
"I gotta go pee."
Click.
::::
"Umma!"
Over time, Changmin has gradually learned how to differentiate between the squeals of a three-year-old and the squeals of Junsu.
"You can run but you can't hide, you little runt!"
"UMMAAAA!"
"Hey! Hey! No rough-housing in the kitchen."
Jaejoong tries not to teeter over and spill stir fry all over Changmin's head as four tiny limbs wrap themselves around his shin. But it's warm and he doesn't want them to let go.
"Junsu..." Changmin shoots a crooked-mouthed warning of doom Junsu's way. No one endangers Jaejoong's stir fry. No one.
Junsu ignores the younger man's glare and lunges straight for the smallest, wiggliest body in the room and initiates the most epik tickle fight the era has ever known. Jaejoong is experienced enough now to know to smoothly set the steaming pot on the back of the stove and wait for the chaos to die down.
"UMMAAAA!!"
The shrieks of two three-year-old children (one in body and one at heart) pound through Changmin's already pounding head until a different kind of pounding sound pounds down the stairs and down the hallway and into the kitchen and Changmin wishes he could just pound all of them quiet in the most endearing way possible.
"Junsu!" Yunho bellows in his most commanding voice. The one that drops down half an octave and resonates through the whole house. It probably woke Yoochun up. Junsu stops moving and so does the 'runt.'
Yunho doesn't even have to say anymore because one word is just enough and any objections will lead to a very, very harsh punishment tonight on Junsu's side. A night without ice cream on the kid's side.
Junsu sulks in the middle of the kitchen floor.
"Minjae..." Jaejoong coos, and the little girl goes running. Running straight into his arms and Changmin has to hide a smile.
"Umma!" Minjae non-shrieks into Jaejoong's neck and snuggles until he just about melts.
"How come you never call me umma?" Junsu remains cross-legged on the floor and pouts while staring at the tiles.
"Maybe because you're more of a dongsaeng to her?" Yunho offers, but he's gazing at the way Minjae and Jaejoong's dark smiling eyes mirror each other in every way.
Changmin's got his chin rested in one hand as he leans with one elbow on the kitchen table and he couldn't be more comfortable. Well, maybe if Junsu were sitting in his lap or something. It's warm and soft, then. "No. I asked her. She thinks Junsu is a pet."
"She does not!"
"Oh yeah?" Changmin raises an eyebrow. "Min-ah, what sound does a Junsu make?"
Junsu is brandished with two large, devilish eyes as the child squirms in Jaejoong's arms and grins. When she opens her mouth, Junsu wishes he'd never asked.
"What the fuck was that?"
"Watch your mouth, Su." Jaejoong warns.
Changmin smirks. "She made it up herself. I think It's a cross between a Chihuahua and a dolphin. Can't quite figure out which one it is."
"I'm not a dog! Or a dolphin." Junsu brings himself up to his knees and scoots over to Jaejoong enveloping the little girl in his arms. She squeals when Junsu nibbles on her toes. "I'm your appa~"
Yunho snorts. "You're not potent enough to be a father. She's clearly mine. She listens to me when I talk. And look at that jawline. Strong and powerful."
"It is similar," Jaejoong muses as he strokes the little girl's cheek.
Yunho juts out his chin in newfound pride. "See? She's totally mine."
Changmin snorts louder. "That's not what she thinks. Minjae-ah, who is Yunho?"
"Yunho-unni!"
Jaejoong and Junsu laugh so loud, it confuses Minjae who simply laughs along with them.
"I taught her that." Changmin's crooked eyes glimmer and Yunho tilts his head to the side blankly and walks out.
"You know," Junsu says suddenly and it almost sounds like he's going to say something intelligent. "I can see a little of Yoochun in her."
The other two raise their eyebrows. Minjae raises her arms to play in Jaejoong's hair.
"Where?" Changmin asks, genuinely curious.
"Forehead."
The other two turn to look. Now they stare. Minjae stares back with her fingers in her mouth. They nod their heads and let it go.
"So you're relinquishing ownership of Minjae's genes?" Changmin pokes Junsu with his toe.
"Nope." Junsu snickers. "She's mine. She's got my spunk."
"She's got your energy, too." Jaejoong drinks in the sound of Minjae's giggles.
"Mine." Junsu grins.
"Not yours." Changmin challenges. "She's taller than most kids her age at the day-care center. She's got my height."
"Dear lord..." Junsu's eyes glaze over. Giant Minjae. Would she be taller than him by the time she hits six?
"Of course she does," Jaejoong chides the youngest man. "She's clearly yours, Min. She came out of your uterus.
"I do not have a uterus!"
"Then how'd you give birth?"
"How the fu--"
"Language."
"How the heck should I know?" Changmin grumbles. "You were there, too. The only one there." He shoots a glare at Junsu who is making faces at Minjae.
The oldest just shrugs. "I don't know how you popped her out. I hid on the other side of the curtain. I'm fragile."
"You're not fragile in bed," Changmin growls.
"Am too!"
"No," Junsu shakes his head and points at the doorway. "He is."
Yoochun walks in wearing purple silk pajamas and his hair sticking out in every cardinal direction. "I'm what?"
"Pretty." Changmin deadpans.
"Thanks, Min." He shoots the other a wide smile and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.
"Sunbae-nim!" Minjae squeals and reaches her scrawny arms out in Yoochun's direction.
"Why does she call you that?" Junsu looks to Changmin for the answer.
Changmin looks back and shrugs. "I dunno."
"She's got good intuition, that's all." Jaejoong comments as he gently throws the little girl giggling and writhing into the air. "She knows Chunnie will be her music tutor when she gets older."
Yoochun gives a shy smile and sticks his tongue out at Minjae who giggles sweetly into Jaejoong's chest. "You guys need me to drive her anywhere today?"
"Nope."
"Naw."
"Uh-uh."
Yoochun sighs, running a hand through his sleep-tousled hair. "Good. I don't think I'll be able to drive my daughter anywhere today."
"Why not?" Jaejoong throws him a look of concern.
"Whose daughter?!" Junsu throws a chopstick at him.
Yoochun groans and rubs his stomach. "I've been throwing up all morning." And then he sniffs. "And no one even noticed."
Junsu looks alarmed. "You were throwing up? What did you eat?"
"I didn't eat anything bad, that's the weird part." He sniffles some more and his eyes grow watery. "But throwing up isn't fun."
"Oh, come on, Chun. Don't cry," Junsu pleads. "It's only hot when you cry during BDSM."
"And Yoochun's usually the one holding the whip," Changmin adds with a curious quirk of his head.
Yoochun wipes the beginnings of a tear out of his eye. "You can make it up to me if you let me give Minjae a bubble bath."
"Bubbles!" Minjae squeaks.
"No fair! It's my turn!" Junsu throws a spoon at him.
Changmin takes off a sock and throws it at Junsu. "You always say it's your turn. She's mine. I'll give her a bubble bath."
"After lunch and Yunho stops spacing out, we can all give her a bubble bath, kay?" Jaejoong nuzzles Minjae's nose, enjoying the squeals it elicits.
Changmin's eyes widen. "That's dangerous, Jae. What if you get excited again?"
Jaejoong pouts. "I would never do that with mini Minnie around. I was only showing her how much her appas love each other."
"You gave Yunho a handjob the last time we all bathed together." Junsu points out.
"The bubbles hid everything. She didn't notice a thing." Jaejoong says defensively.
"Appa!"
"Agh!"
It takes a while for everyone else to realize just why Changmin's face has turned so red. Minjae has reached over and grabbed a massive chunk full of his hair by the roots and is failing at eating it. But he loves her too much to make her stop and the fatherly love makes Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun cringe and smile warmly.
"I want to use the lavender bubble soap." Yoochun pipes.
Junsu wrinkles his nose. "No way! I hate lavender. Vanilla all the way, baby!"
"Bubbles!"
Predictably, Junsu is chasing Yoochun out of the kitchen in no time and Minjae releases Changmin's scalp and wriggles out of Jaejoong's arms to follow after, shrieking and glowing with laughter.
It's a beautiful sight.
Once Changmin regains the feeling in his head, he inhales with newfound peace, enjoying a nice moment of silence, but he doesn't know why he bothers because there's still Jaejoong and silence never happens with him for very long.
"We should have more."
Changmin almost chokes on his spit and dies. "Children?"
The eldest smiles to himself and returns to his stir fry.
"You didn't have to endure the pain of childbirth." Changmin points an accusing finger at the other. "You just stood in the corner and chatted into your cell phone while doctors yelled at me to push out a baby that I had no idea where I was trying to push out."
"I was spreading the good news." Jaejoong beams.
"If you want more children, then you bend over and get one of the others to fertilize you."
The other appears to look up in contemplation. "I'll consider it. But this time, let's be more organized about it. I'd like to actually know who the other father of the child is."
Changmin blanches and turns around, grumbling to himself in defeat, as always. "Just be happy you got to name her."
It's then that Jaejoong pauses suddenly at the stove and it confuses Changmin. Then he turns to Changmin with a wide smile, wraps the younger man in a tight hug and kisses him long and deep and it's so tender, both of them nearly loses it.
"I am happy." Jaejoong licks the tip of Changmin's nose. "Very happy."
Changmin is flushed and he doesn't know what to say but all that comes out is, "Good."
Yunho is peeing in blank silence again, Yoochun and Junsu are banging on the bathroom door because Yunho is taking too long and they want to fight over which soap to use while little Minjae doesn't fully know what's going on but she clings to Junsu's leg and sing, sing, sings til all three of them dissolve in laughter again in front of the door.
Then Yoochun stands up because for some reason, he's got to throw up again and Yunho is still lost in his own world.
The remaining two are left alone in the kitchen while Jaejoong feeds Changmin stir fry while singing, cause you're my miracle~
And it is indeed a miracle. A miracle that Changmin has made it this far without once strangling Junsu, without once kicking Yoochun for crying so damn much, without once topping Yunho, without once resisting the force that is Kim Jaejoong and without once failing to wake up to a lively, warm home with children, laughter and damn good stir fry.
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Yeah, this is a pretty long overdue sequel. xD But it just randomly came to me, so no complaints. >D
*cough* Are there any more Dong Bang boys potentially preggers in this fic??? >DDDD Hmmmmm.....*flees away*
Contest in dbkrackweens :D It's a place for crack, fluff, romance, smack and happiness~
A/N: OMG. I was rereading this fic and there is one line in the last part where Junsu says Minjae has his spunk. I looked up the word 'spunk,' which I thought to mean a personality trait. Apparently, it's also British slang from 'semen.' xDDDDDDDDD
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