Dear Diary~ [Page 52 - Yoochun]
[Page 52 - Yoochun] Sorry I haven't been updating or commenting much lately. Dx I'm trying to write more often, though. ^_^ We'll see how it goes. *cookies*
Dear Diary,
Along with everyone else in the house, I have also agreed to join the cause. But I do not agree with Jaejoong's choice of naming the mission, Mission Min. Too vague.
I prefer Mission Molest the Small Tall Manchild That Is Changmin The Maknae of my House of the Rising Sun so That He May Snag and Snog a Male of His My choice for His Own lovin' so That I May Have as Many Helpings of Duckbutt Pie as I Like.
Or Mission Molest for short.
Yeah. Poor Changmin. He's too lonely. Very sad. Blah blah blah.
But that's not what I wanted to discuss, Diary.
Exercise.
A healthy past time commonly performed by the already naturally large men of the household, Yunho and recently Changmin. (Ouch for Jaejoong's one touch.) Should be accompanied by well balanced meals and healthy portions of water and other fluids.
Why doesn't it work for me?
I try. At first I tried running. A good cardio workout that would build up my stamina while gaining awesome smoking calves in the process.
But it turns out I have no stamina.
The first morning I tried to run around the block, I couldn't wake up. Well, I should've predicted that would be complete failure. What humans wake up at 4 in morning to RUN around in a square? Not the Chun. Besides, I'd miss seeing Junsu's cute face when he wakes up beside me with a smile and no pants.
How did that even happen??? Sometimes he goes to bed with me with his pants totally on. Whatever it is he's wearing--pajama bottoms, gym shorts, sometimes jeans when he's too tired to change--they disappear by morning.
But I really have no idea what's going on with his pants. He told me they keep disappearing and at first I didn't believe him. I thought maybe we just keep misplacing them in the piano room, but that place is spotless. Well...except for a couple of suspicious white spots Jaejoong will not be happy about cleaning.
And I watch them when Jaejoong takes them (or what's left of them) to the laundry room with the rest of the load. They're always in the laundry basket when he goes in. But Junsu's closet is increasingly pantless when he comes out. I wonder if Jaejoong is doing something wrong.
Aish. I swear it's not me stealing his pants. But I'm not complaining.
So instead of waking up at 4am, I woke up at 2PM. But I was determined to get me some amazing, sexy calves, so I put on my running shoes (Actually, they were Jaejoong's. I don't actually have running shoes.) and went out the door with an iPod (Actually, it was Changmin's iPod. Junsu has mine somewhere.) and a bottle of water (Actually, it was Yunho's water bottle. I didn't feel like using mine.) and went jogging.
But I soon discovered that 2PM is the hottest time of the day.
I got to the bus stop which is directly in front of the front door of the apartment building. I looked up at the demon sun bleeding searing sun rays at my frail, calf-less body. I turned around and went back to the apartment. I made a glass of chocolate milk.
It was good chocolate milk.
But I still want to exercise. The benefits are too good to pass up.
So I tried hitting the gym with Yunho and Changmin. Jaejoong wanted to go, but Heechul invited him to go skating with him and his roommates. Yunho almost ended up not going to gym so he could hold both Jaejoong's hands while he skates so that Heechul couldn't get to them, I presume, but Changmin convinced him to forget about it. Hankyung would have Heechul totally distracted, leaving the unthreatening Kibum to entertain Yunho's property.
I wish Yunho had just gone skating with the others. And I wish Changmin had locked himself in the refrigerator. So I could fail in the gym by myself.
I swear, Yunho could bench press the Hulk with all the weight he had on that bar. Just....whoa. And Changmin had just surpassed 200 pull-ups when I began to feel intimidated.
But I'm still a man, right? Of course I had to prove my manlihoodness by lifting my own weights and attaining some tight, sexy biceps.
I lifted the 5 pound barbell for about ten minutes. It was pink.
I didn't want to get out of breath before I moved on to a bit more weight, so I started lifting the 10 pound barbell. It was sky blue. My biceps were feeling the burn.
But then stupid Changmin was all like, "Why are you lifting the baby weights?"
And then I was all like, "Baby weights? These are baby weights?"
And then he was all like, "Duh."
And then I was all like, "Oh. Well I was just warming up."
And then he was all like, "Here. Try this one."
And then I was all like, "Twenty pounds??"
And then he was all like, "Yeah. That's like the size of an overweight cat."
And then I was all like, "Well, aren't you all smart now?"
And then he was all like, "Well, yeah. I'm in college."
And then I was all like, "So, what's your point?"
And then he was all like, "Just try to lift it."
And then I was all like, "Why would I want to lift an overweight cat?"
And then Yunho stopped bench pressing like a bear on steroids and was all like, "Why are you lifting an overweight cat?"
And then I was all like, "That's what I'm saying."
And then Changmin was all like, "That's not what we're saying. He just needs to quit lifting the baby weights."
And then Yunho was all like, "Dude. You lifted the pink one?"
And then I was all like, "I was warming up!"
And then Yunho was all like, "No. The twenty pounder is for warming up. Do what Changmin says."
And then Changmin was all like, "That's right. Do what I say."
And then I was all like, "Pfft. You are beneath me, DONGSAENG."
And then Changmin was all like, "I'm taller than you. So YOU'RE beneath ME."
And then I was all like, "Well, I'm smarter than you."
And then Changmin was all like, "Nope. You're beneath me there, too."
And then I was all like, "Oh yeah? What is the square root of your iPod?"
And then Changmin was all like, "There is no square root of my iPod..."
And then I was all like, "Exactly."
And then Changmin was all like, "..."
And then I was all like, "Cause you don't even know where your iPod is."
And then Changmin was all like, "What did you do with my iPod??"
And then I was all like, "Well, I was making a glass of chocolate milk when-"
And then Yunho was all like, "Just shut up and lift some weights."
And then I was all like, "Like I said. What is the point of me lifting a cat?"
And then Yunho was all like, "Yeah, Changmin. What is the point of him lifting a cat?"
And then Changmin was all like, "...Hyung... It's not a cat... It's a barbell."
And then I was all like, "It's not even a cool color. It's gray."
And then Yunho was all like, "That means it's more manly. Just lift it."
And then I was all like, "Oh, so you think you're so manly? Then why don't you lift it?"
And then Manly was all like, "I am lifting it. I'm trying to hand it to you..."
And then I was all like, "Are you really?"
And then Manly was all like, "..."
And then Changmin was all like, "Why don't you just lift it. Just once and then you can go home to your Junsu."
And then I was all like, "Hey! He's MY Junsu."
And then Changmin was all like, "...Yeah. That's what I said."
And then I was all like, "What? What? Are you jealous?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Of Junsu? I'd rather die."
And then I, the Ninja Master, was all like, "You'd rather die...of ecstasy?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Ew."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You're just jealous of our love."
And then Manly was all like, "Just use your 'love' to lift this stupid barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You wish I would lift that barbell."
And then Manly was all like, "Yeah, Yoochun... I do."
And then Jealous was all like, "Oh wait! Maybe he CAN'T lift the barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "What are you talking about?"
And then Jealous was all like, "You never lift anything. All you do is sleep. The heaviest thing you've ever lifted was the remote control. That is...before HYUNG murd-"
And then Manly was all like, "DON'T say it!"
And then I was all like, "I do so do things!"
And then Jealous was all like, "Yeah? What?"
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Junsu."
And then Jealous was all like, "EEEEEEWWWWWW."
And then Manly was all like, "That's enough, Yoochun. Do you want me to prohibit verbal sexual innuendos as part of the clause to our legal agreement?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Yeah, Yoochun. I could sue you."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You're driving me crazy."
And then Jealous was all like, "You're already crazy."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Just go to an elevator somewhere and jack off to elevator music."
And then Manly was all like, "Yoochun!"
And then Jealous was all like, "Just lift the barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Just shut up."
And then Jealous was all like, "Call me hyung."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "NOOOOOOOOO!"
And then Manly was all li-
Okay, I'm bored with this. Long story short--Jealous tried to force the barbell into my hand throw the barbell at my head, sending the weight towards my dainty toes smashing my face in and giving me brain damage and making Yunho have to drive me home because I couldn't stop crying making Yunho have to get all Spider Man-ish up in his face and hanged Changmin from the ceiling of the weight room by a thin, yet tough spider web-ish substance.
Biceps are out.
So I tried yoga with Jaejoong.
It would've been all peaceful and stuff if the instructional DVD hadn't been all scratched and stupid and nonfunctional. So Jaejoong thought he had enough personal knowledge to guide me through yoga.
Not.
Another long story short, he had me standing in the air on one foot, "reaching for the moon for my chakra beams" and repeatedly turning my head from side to side which I believe gave me whiplash. Junsu saw us in the living room and laughed.
I'll kill Jaejoong in his sleep. After I tear down that stupid legal document Yunho hung up on the wall over the TV and rape Junsu in his sleep.
And then I'll hide Changmin's iPod. Once I find it again...
Exercise is supposed to be good for you but why isn't it good for me? Am I not adequate enough? I just want to be healthy and sexy for a really long time. What's wrong with this? Is it a sin??
Maybe I'll try playing Dance Dance Revolution with Jonghyun downstairs. I heard they got that game last week and, um, I need to help them try it out. It's exercise, right?
I think I'll go make a glass of chocolate milk.
~Nuhcooy
Turn the page~ Page 51 - Yunho || Page 53 - Yunho
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Dear Diary,
Along with everyone else in the house, I have also agreed to join the cause. But I do not agree with Jaejoong's choice of naming the mission, Mission Min. Too vague.
I prefer Mission Molest the Small Tall Manchild That Is Changmin The Maknae of my House of the Rising Sun so That He May Snag and Snog a Male of His My choice for His Own lovin' so That I May Have as Many Helpings of Duckbutt Pie as I Like.
Or Mission Molest for short.
Yeah. Poor Changmin. He's too lonely. Very sad. Blah blah blah.
But that's not what I wanted to discuss, Diary.
Exercise.
A healthy past time commonly performed by the already naturally large men of the household, Yunho and recently Changmin. (Ouch for Jaejoong's one touch.) Should be accompanied by well balanced meals and healthy portions of water and other fluids.
Why doesn't it work for me?
I try. At first I tried running. A good cardio workout that would build up my stamina while gaining awesome smoking calves in the process.
But it turns out I have no stamina.
The first morning I tried to run around the block, I couldn't wake up. Well, I should've predicted that would be complete failure. What humans wake up at 4 in morning to RUN around in a square? Not the Chun. Besides, I'd miss seeing Junsu's cute face when he wakes up beside me with a smile and no pants.
How did that even happen??? Sometimes he goes to bed with me with his pants totally on. Whatever it is he's wearing--pajama bottoms, gym shorts, sometimes jeans when he's too tired to change--they disappear by morning.
But I really have no idea what's going on with his pants. He told me they keep disappearing and at first I didn't believe him. I thought maybe we just keep misplacing them in the piano room, but that place is spotless. Well...except for a couple of suspicious white spots Jaejoong will not be happy about cleaning.
And I watch them when Jaejoong takes them (or what's left of them) to the laundry room with the rest of the load. They're always in the laundry basket when he goes in. But Junsu's closet is increasingly pantless when he comes out. I wonder if Jaejoong is doing something wrong.
Aish. I swear it's not me stealing his pants. But I'm not complaining.
So instead of waking up at 4am, I woke up at 2PM. But I was determined to get me some amazing, sexy calves, so I put on my running shoes (Actually, they were Jaejoong's. I don't actually have running shoes.) and went out the door with an iPod (Actually, it was Changmin's iPod. Junsu has mine somewhere.) and a bottle of water (Actually, it was Yunho's water bottle. I didn't feel like using mine.) and went jogging.
But I soon discovered that 2PM is the hottest time of the day.
I got to the bus stop which is directly in front of the front door of the apartment building. I looked up at the demon sun bleeding searing sun rays at my frail, calf-less body. I turned around and went back to the apartment. I made a glass of chocolate milk.
It was good chocolate milk.
But I still want to exercise. The benefits are too good to pass up.
So I tried hitting the gym with Yunho and Changmin. Jaejoong wanted to go, but Heechul invited him to go skating with him and his roommates. Yunho almost ended up not going to gym so he could hold both Jaejoong's hands while he skates so that Heechul couldn't get to them, I presume, but Changmin convinced him to forget about it. Hankyung would have Heechul totally distracted, leaving the unthreatening Kibum to entertain Yunho's property.
I wish Yunho had just gone skating with the others. And I wish Changmin had locked himself in the refrigerator. So I could fail in the gym by myself.
I swear, Yunho could bench press the Hulk with all the weight he had on that bar. Just....whoa. And Changmin had just surpassed 200 pull-ups when I began to feel intimidated.
But I'm still a man, right? Of course I had to prove my manlihoodness by lifting my own weights and attaining some tight, sexy biceps.
I lifted the 5 pound barbell for about ten minutes. It was pink.
I didn't want to get out of breath before I moved on to a bit more weight, so I started lifting the 10 pound barbell. It was sky blue. My biceps were feeling the burn.
But then stupid Changmin was all like, "Why are you lifting the baby weights?"
And then I was all like, "Baby weights? These are baby weights?"
And then he was all like, "Duh."
And then I was all like, "Oh. Well I was just warming up."
And then he was all like, "Here. Try this one."
And then I was all like, "Twenty pounds??"
And then he was all like, "Yeah. That's like the size of an overweight cat."
And then I was all like, "Well, aren't you all smart now?"
And then he was all like, "Well, yeah. I'm in college."
And then I was all like, "So, what's your point?"
And then he was all like, "Just try to lift it."
And then I was all like, "Why would I want to lift an overweight cat?"
And then Yunho stopped bench pressing like a bear on steroids and was all like, "Why are you lifting an overweight cat?"
And then I was all like, "That's what I'm saying."
And then Changmin was all like, "That's not what we're saying. He just needs to quit lifting the baby weights."
And then Yunho was all like, "Dude. You lifted the pink one?"
And then I was all like, "I was warming up!"
And then Yunho was all like, "No. The twenty pounder is for warming up. Do what Changmin says."
And then Changmin was all like, "That's right. Do what I say."
And then I was all like, "Pfft. You are beneath me, DONGSAENG."
And then Changmin was all like, "I'm taller than you. So YOU'RE beneath ME."
And then I was all like, "Well, I'm smarter than you."
And then Changmin was all like, "Nope. You're beneath me there, too."
And then I was all like, "Oh yeah? What is the square root of your iPod?"
And then Changmin was all like, "There is no square root of my iPod..."
And then I was all like, "Exactly."
And then Changmin was all like, "..."
And then I was all like, "Cause you don't even know where your iPod is."
And then Changmin was all like, "What did you do with my iPod??"
And then I was all like, "Well, I was making a glass of chocolate milk when-"
And then Yunho was all like, "Just shut up and lift some weights."
And then I was all like, "Like I said. What is the point of me lifting a cat?"
And then Yunho was all like, "Yeah, Changmin. What is the point of him lifting a cat?"
And then Changmin was all like, "...Hyung... It's not a cat... It's a barbell."
And then I was all like, "It's not even a cool color. It's gray."
And then Yunho was all like, "That means it's more manly. Just lift it."
And then I was all like, "Oh, so you think you're so manly? Then why don't you lift it?"
And then Manly was all like, "I am lifting it. I'm trying to hand it to you..."
And then I was all like, "Are you really?"
And then Manly was all like, "..."
And then Changmin was all like, "Why don't you just lift it. Just once and then you can go home to your Junsu."
And then I was all like, "Hey! He's MY Junsu."
And then Changmin was all like, "...Yeah. That's what I said."
And then I was all like, "What? What? Are you jealous?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Of Junsu? I'd rather die."
And then I, the Ninja Master, was all like, "You'd rather die...of ecstasy?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Ew."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You're just jealous of our love."
And then Manly was all like, "Just use your 'love' to lift this stupid barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You wish I would lift that barbell."
And then Manly was all like, "Yeah, Yoochun... I do."
And then Jealous was all like, "Oh wait! Maybe he CAN'T lift the barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "What are you talking about?"
And then Jealous was all like, "You never lift anything. All you do is sleep. The heaviest thing you've ever lifted was the remote control. That is...before HYUNG murd-"
And then Manly was all like, "DON'T say it!"
And then I was all like, "I do so do things!"
And then Jealous was all like, "Yeah? What?"
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Junsu."
And then Jealous was all like, "EEEEEEWWWWWW."
And then Manly was all like, "That's enough, Yoochun. Do you want me to prohibit verbal sexual innuendos as part of the clause to our legal agreement?"
And then Jealous was all like, "Yeah, Yoochun. I could sue you."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "You're driving me crazy."
And then Jealous was all like, "You're already crazy."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Just go to an elevator somewhere and jack off to elevator music."
And then Manly was all like, "Yoochun!"
And then Jealous was all like, "Just lift the barbell."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "Just shut up."
And then Jealous was all like, "Call me hyung."
And then Ninja Master was all like, "NOOOOOOOOO!"
And then Manly was all li-
Okay, I'm bored with this. Long story short--Jealous tried to force the barbell into my hand throw the barbell at my head, sending the weight towards my dainty toes smashing my face in and giving me brain damage and making Yunho have to drive me home because I couldn't stop crying making Yunho have to get all Spider Man-ish up in his face and hanged Changmin from the ceiling of the weight room by a thin, yet tough spider web-ish substance.
Biceps are out.
So I tried yoga with Jaejoong.
It would've been all peaceful and stuff if the instructional DVD hadn't been all scratched and stupid and nonfunctional. So Jaejoong thought he had enough personal knowledge to guide me through yoga.
Not.
Another long story short, he had me standing in the air on one foot, "reaching for the moon for my chakra beams" and repeatedly turning my head from side to side which I believe gave me whiplash. Junsu saw us in the living room and laughed.
I'll kill Jaejoong in his sleep. After I tear down that stupid legal document Yunho hung up on the wall over the TV and rape Junsu in his sleep.
And then I'll hide Changmin's iPod. Once I find it again...
Exercise is supposed to be good for you but why isn't it good for me? Am I not adequate enough? I just want to be healthy and sexy for a really long time. What's wrong with this? Is it a sin??
Maybe I'll try playing Dance Dance Revolution with Jonghyun downstairs. I heard they got that game last week and, um, I need to help them try it out. It's exercise, right?
I think I'll go make a glass of chocolate milk.
~Nuhcooy
Turn the page~ Page 51 - Yunho || Page 53 - Yunho
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