Baby Daddies [Oneshot]
[Baby Daddy -- Oneshot] xDD I've been dreaming up this fic for a while now. My muses finally acknowledged it. Please join my community for more crack fics that will brighten you day. ^^ Dong Bang smiles fighting!
dbkrackweens
"Yah, Junsu! Where's my grapefruit juice?!!?" Little bits of spittle soared from Changmin's mouth.
It had been seven months. Or as Yoochun would say:
"Seven...long....months...." And then he'd choke and pass out on the kitchen floor while the scent of Jaejoong's fresh cooking wafted through his unconscious nostrils and the soothing sound of the maknae's shrill complaints floating from the living room raped his eardrums. That was this morning.
Two more months to go.
"JUNSU!!!!! DUCK BUTT!!!!! KAMO!!!!!!!! SU!!!!!!!! DOLPHIN BOY!!!!!!! KIM!!!!!!!! BIG-"
"Okay! Okay!" Junsu stormed into the living room grapefruit juice-less, his ears pink with irritation and an uncharacteristically permanent frown across his lips.
Changmin stared at the other man's hands as they balled up into fists (empty) and swished back and forth past his stomping legs. Empty hands were not good. Not good. "Where's the juice, Kim?"
"Up yours," was his curt retort.
"You're right, Kim, the juice is up mine," Changmin's stare hardened and dripped with irritated hormones and eminent threat. "Your juice. Remember? Up mine about seven months ago in the storage closet of that hotel. NOT an actual sleazy hotel room. But a storage closet of the sleazy hotel because you were just too horny to rent a room or wait til we got home."
He drummed his long fingers over his large, rounded belly, which Junsu had long given up the thought that it would ever cease expanding.
To the untrained eye (God bless our souls), Changmin simply seemed like a twenty-year-old man draped lazily on the couch in pajamas and bunny slippers at two in the afternoon with a giant bowling ball shoved inside his shirt.
Wrong. Very wrong. Changmin's fluctuating hormones told very, very wrong.
Junsu took a pillow off the couch and contemplated throwing at the younger man's face as if that would make his existence dissolve into thin air. If only.
Changmin raised an eyebrow. And then two eyebrows. And then his defiant chin until Junsu finally surrendered and promptly began smacking himself in the face with the plush.
"It's not-" Smack. "Even-" Smack. "My-" Smack. "Baby." Smack. Smack.
"Bullshit!"
Shocked, Junsu let the pillow fall to the floor.
"This could very well be your fricking baby!" Changmin raved, face pink and fingers grabbing at the stretched cloth of his shirt barely covering his bulbous stomach. "You screwed me the same as everyone else seven months ago, so you have to take part of the blame."
"Blame?" Junsu scoffed, face enclosing on Changmin's. "You were just as willing as I was. You weren't complaining when I said it was my turn to top. I never top. Even though I'm so manly. Why does no one let me top?"
"Yoochun let you top that one time," The youngest offered.
Junsu let out a ridiculous snort. "Only because you and Yunho joined us and there were so many arms and legs flying around, there was no telling who's cock was shoved in who's mouth or between who's legs."
"So why don't you ever get PREGNANT," More spittle broke free as Changmin threw emphasis at Junsu's face now only three inches away, "when everyone in this house is capable of pwning you into a writhing mess allowing easy access to your giant backside? Why me?!"
"Pwn?" Junsu's mouth dropped and the urge to punch a pregnant man had never seemed more sinful. "Pwn? Pwn? Pwn! Pwwwwn??"
Changmin rolled his eyes at this point.
"There is no PWNING of the Su," Junsu poked a finger into Changmin's chest, which was rather plump of late. "I let everyone top me because it feels good. To me. Especially Yunho and Yoochun. They are amazing."
Chanmgin fought the urge to nod in agreement.
"But when I want to top, everyone throws excuses at me or turns it into a race to see who can get the other pinned to the bed faster. And you guys never say, 'Go.' What's up with that? It's like not saying 'Bye' at the end of a phone conversation."
"You even let Jaejoong?" Changmin wrinkled his nose as if Junsu's lack of initiative were repulsive.
Junsu gave him a look that could rot blueberries. "Don't you dare give me that. He's just as big a part of this whole pregnancy thing as I am."
Changmin puffed air through his superior nose. "I'm the youngest. I can let Jaejoong top whenever I want without losing face. You on the other hand..."
Junsu's heated face was almost touching Changmin's. "He confuses me into sex. It is not shameful."
"And your point is...?" Changmin vaguely waved his hands through the air.
Junsu let out a loud groan which was sure to wake up Yoochun in the next room. He was failing at trying to get as much sleep as possible these days and Changmin helped him fail in any way he could.
"YOU let me top for once at the hotel," His brown eyes raged. "It's YOUR fault you're pregnant, so quit taking it out on US."
"My fault?" Changmin countered, his finger poking his own share of hostility into Junsu's collarbone. "How was I supposed to know I was going to get pregnant? Pregnant?! I supposedly have a Y chromosome and yet I'm supposed to be held accountable for this? I blame your smelly cum."
Junsu smirked and let a short chuckle rake it's way past his nasal canal. "And you say I'm unmanly."
Changmin responded with a quick smack to Junsu's face. The other gasped in disbelief and reared his own hand back. But the thought of forcefully hitting a person with another life carried inside his...womb(??) made Junsu bite down on his tongue. So he settled with moderately shoving Changmin's shoulder.
Changmin shoved back.
Junsu shoved again.
Changmin slapped Junsu's hand.
Junsu slapped Changmin's hand.
Changmin slapped Junsu's hand.
Junsu slapped Changmin's hand.
The two had a brief slap fight.
"This is stupid," Changmin huffed, crossing his arms.
"You're stupid," Junsu sat back on the couch and crossed his own arms.
"Your cum is stupid."
The other grinned nastily. "You like my stupid cum."
For a moment, Changmin had nothing to say other than blinking and opening and closing his mouth silently. Then he finally shoved angry hot air through his nose. "Only because you're the only one stupid enough to drink lemon juice right before you know you're going to have sex."
Junsu shrugged and smiled wider. "Which is why everyone likes to top me. Easy access to the delicious Fountain of Su."
"Oh, so you have a different excuse now?"
"It's is not an excuse," Junsu rounded back on the other still sprawled into the cushions. "It is fact."
Changmin didn't answer for a while, but the stare he gave the other didn't look defeated. In fact, Junsu couldn't quite decipher what exactly was passing through the raging river of hormones that plagued Changmin's general demeanor for the past few months.
"...So..." Changmin appeared to search Junsu's face. "Where's my grapefruit juice?"
Yoochun awoke to the cacophony of high-pitched squeals emitting from the living room and the sight he beheld when he groggily floated to the origin of the noises woke him up quite thoroughly as Junsu entangled his fingers through Changmin's head in a painful looking grip.
"Junsu! Su, stop! You're going to kill him and the baby," Yoochun rushed to the scene of the almost-homocide and wrapped his arms around the other's waist.
"We'll get the baby out of him okay," Junsu snarled. "I just want to murder him."
Yoochun sighed and pressed himself into Junsu's back, sliding his hands up his body, over his outstretched arms and splayed over his clenched fingers full of Changmin's hair.
"Junsu," The pitch of his voice dropped below the physical capacity of sound and rumbled sensually into the other's ear. "Go to my bedroom and I'll be right with you in a second, okay?" His other hand played teasingly with the waistband of the other man's jeans. He made sure to squeeze out all the heat he could muster from his mouth and waft it into Junsu's skin to say the next thing: "And bring the ice cream."
The heat of Yoochun's voice illogically strum a powerful shiver through Junsu's spine as he let go of the maknae's scalp to take hold of Yoochun's belt loops, pressing the man's body further into his back. The eldest had to gently shove him towards the door to avoid loosening Junsu's nerves right there in front of Changmin.
"Get the chocolate," Yoochun growled to the other's exiting back.
"I want vanilla," Junsu called back decisively.
Yoochun gave a quick shake of his head. "But I want chocolate. You're not the one who's going to be eating it."
"But you're not going to be the one with cold ice cream drizzled all over him," His voice already rang out from somewhere in the kitchen.
"But...aish," Yoochun took one look at Changmin's impatient, ever-pissed face and resigned. Anything would taste good on Junsu anyway.
Changmin held his gaze. It wasn't necessarily a disgusted look after he had just sat in the middle of the previous, potentially awkward conversation. It was simply...another shade of pissed. Yoochun noticed that the other seemed to be coming up with all kinds of shades of that emotion lately. This one just about as unnameable as all the others.
"So..." Yoochun said at length, clapping his hands together at an attempt at casualty. However, it seemed that the youngest only wanted casualties.
"Sit," he snapped.
Yoochun's butt hit the cushion before Changmin could even pronounce the end of the syllable. Lately, his days had been filled with fear and caution as he teetered around the edges of Changmin's swarming emotions. And to think that he could possibly be the reason for his and the younger man's misery? It brought him to tears every night. Jaejoong was actually getting a bit tired of it.
"Minmin," Yoochun used to term of endearment to block the sobs positioned somewhere down his throat threatening to spill over once again. He'd already cried himself to sleep twice today. "You should calm down. All this stress isn't good for the baby."
Changmin's brown eyes turned to slits. "Baby?" He used the word as a weapon, wielding it like an estrogen-sized sword to cut at the other's sensitive soul. "You mean your baby?"
Yoochun's eyes went wide and he swallowed. Hard. "I-It might not even be my baby."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Changmin mused mockingly and put his thumb and index finger up to his chin in thought. "All I know is, one morning of the week I let Junsu pound me against a towel rack in the storage room of a hotel, you woke me up with a blow job and proceeded to flip me over to finish the job."
Yoochun's mouth went about as wide as his eyes, salted water brimming around his eyelashes. "You said you liked it."
"You took advantage of me," Changmin said bitingly.
"But Thursdays are your day," Yoochun protested. "You know that. I give you your morning blow job on Thursdays, Junsu gets it on Mondays because he's the only one alert enough on that day not to kick me out of bed. Yunho gets it-"
"So you admit you impregnated me."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!
No!
"Maybe!"
"Probably!"
"Aha!" Changmin's glare cut through his hyung's sanity. "You admit it. You dog."
Yoochun gasped. "You don't mean that. It's the hormones talking."
"And who gave me these hormones, huh? Who's the only one in the house girlier than Junsu to send his girl-waves into my core and curse me with this wonderful bundle of joy?"
The other tilted his head to the side. "Bundle of joy?"
Changmin shrugged. "Just because it's weird that I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't like kids."
"So what's the problem?"
"I'M PREGNANT!"
The rain of fists Changmin sent pummeling into the other's head did nothing to stop Yoochun's falling tears.
Yunho saved Yoochun's life after a resolute flush from the bathroom. Well, first, he walked into the living room and raised one eyebrow at the two for a long time. Then he contemplated ordering the youngest to stop killing Yoochun, but it was Sunday and he still had a slight hangover from the night before.
Finally he grabbed Changmin's flailing hands, risking another pang in his skull and watched Yoochun flee from the room, hair sticking in all directions. But it was soon to be dampened with ice cream and other fluids and that was alright with him.
Yunho took one look at Changmin's twisted face and froze.
Again.
Ever since the other had come home from the clinic about seven months ago speechless and screaming at the same time (Apparently, it's possible), Yunho's mind would completely freeze into mush (Apparently, that's possible, too) and even Jaejoong couldn't shake him out of it for hours.
And so he stared vacantly and Changmin rolled his eyes.
"Hyung."
Stare.
"No one got me my grapefruit juice," He tapped a tense finger over his belly in irritation.
Stare.
"Go get it for me?"
Stare.
Changmin rolled his eyes again only this time, further back into his head until he could almost see his well-developed brain. At least, he knew it was well-developed.
"This is your fault, too, you know." He used his words to probe at the awake, but unconscious man. But everyone knew that only made it worse.
Stare.
"Remember, hyung?"
Stare.
" 'Come on, Min. Let's see a movie.' "
Stare.
"And then we went to see a movie."
Stare.
"And you made me sit in your lap."
Stare.
" 'Come on, Min. Sit in my lap.' "
Stare.
"And you had your pants unbuttoned."
Stare.
"And you wouldn't let me sit anywhere else but your lap."
Stare.
"Your horny, stiff lap."
Stare.
"I heard the girl behind us whisper to her friend why I was sitting in some guy's lap bouncing up and down."
Stare.
"I didn't hear what her friend said but they left after that."
Stare.
"Remember, hyung? Remember?"
Stare.
"I can't even remember what the movie was about. Do you, hyung? Do you remember?"
Stare.
"The popcorn got soggy, but it wasn't with butter."
Stare.
"I bet it's your baby, hyung. Yours."
Stare.
"Changmin, stop taunting him," Jaejoong reprimanding voice carried from the hallway until the man was standing in the room with the two. "He's traumatized enough as it is."
"Him traumatized?" Changmin scoffed, pointing dismissively at the frozen man beside him. "What about me? I'm carrying LIFE. I think I have a womb in my ball sack."
The eldest man threw a withering look at him and pressed his palm into Yunho's shoulder. "Yunho. Come back to us, Yunho."
Stare.
Jaejoong sighed. "Yunho, go to the bathroom and pee again. You'll feel refreshed, okay?"
Not much response came, but Jaejoong noticed a trembling effort in his limbs to try standing up. He wove his arms around Yunho's chest and helped him up from the couch and gently guided the zombie towards the door. Once he was gone, Jaejoong wheeled back towards Changmin, hands on his hips.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" Changmin asked innocently, snark lurking behind his every word.
"Strip Yunho of the man he is with your words and turn him into a walking comatose victim with no brain."
Changmin snorted, ready to take the bait Jaejoong lowered so precariously in front of him for his own manipulation and toss it at Yunho's pride, but another warning look from the eldest clamped his mouth shut.
"You don't have to act like this, you know," Jaejoong took a spot on the couch intimately close to Changmin and slide his arm around the other man's shoulders, soothingly rubbing back and forth.
"Don't get me started on you," Changmin retorted accusingly. "You're the one that wanted to try a new position with me the same night Yoochun gave me my wake up call."
"Do you want to switch days with me?" Jaejoong asked, concerned. "Was Thursday not good? How about Friday? Yoochun gives me my wake up call on Fridays."
"No." Changmin said it like a command. "And I'd be surprised if you even remembered Yoochun's wake up call that day since you kept me up all night the night before. You were even stayed in my room til morning."
A quick flash of a smile gleamed upon Jaejoong's plump lips. "I don't remember. I probably slept right through it from exhaustion. But that turns Yoochun on."
All Changmin could do was glare with as much intensity as he could muster. "I'd hate it if this was your baby. You'd both be crazy."
"Then we'd know who's baby it is," Jaejoong let out a throaty laugh. He traced Changmin's tense jawline with a finger and kissed him sweetly on the lips, licking the ferocity from the youngest's mouth. "And you like me crazy."
Changmin ground his fists into the couch, semi-helplessly. "I want my grapefruit juice! Tell Junsu to stop licking ice cream off of Yoochun and get my grapefruit juice like I politely asked him an hour ago."
Idly, Jaejoong slowly but gently rubbed one hand over Changmin's protruding stomach and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Don't be silly. Yoochun is the one licking ice cream off of Junsu. I saw them."
"I bet you joined them," Changmin took a brief whiff of the man on his shoulder. "You smell like vanilla."
"I prefer mint chocolate chip but anything works on Junsu," Jaejoong casually commented with a smack of his lips.
"You're all dogs....who don't get pregnant," Changmin added with an irritated glance away from Jaejoong.
"Did you ever get a period?" He fully ignored the other's wild intake of air and continued stroking his full stomach.
Changmin stared incredulously with his mouth open for a moment.
"Do you have a womb?"
"I-I don't know, hyung! What's wrong with you?"
"But you said you had one in your ball sack," He fought to keep the smile from bubbling to the surface and exploding into uncontrollable giggles.
A frustrated groan escaped Changmin's lips and he threw his head back on the couch. "Whatever. Maybe I should calm down every now and then. For the baby." Jaejoong always knew exactly how to drive him crazy. It was one of the things that kept Changmin coming back for more.
"I'll cook you something good later today," Jaejoong voice seemed to sing into Changmin's heart and kneaded away the bundle of irritation that clung around his every breath.
"Mmmmm," Changmin mused, squeezing Jaejoong's thigh. "I have a craving for-"
"How do you even remember who exactly did what to you that week seven months ago?" Jaejoong suddenly turned to look up at him with wide, dark eyes.
Changmin's own brown eyes went puzzled. Again. "I calculated it the day the doctor stared at me and told me I was six weeks pregnant. And I have a good sex memory."
"Oh," Jaejoong's head lowered back to it's warm spot on the other man's shoulder. "Can we name it Minjae?"
The puzzled essence of Changmin's expression snapped to bewilderment and he was sure he felt his eye twitch. "Minjae? Why are you thinking about this?"
"I even put your name first," The eldest pouted. "Boy or girl, I want Minjae."
"I don't want any part of you in my baby," Changmin fiercely objected, earning a soft, melted look from Jaejoong that could make time go backwards.
"You...don't want it to be my baby...?" Changmin could swear he saw the other man's eyelash dampen with liquid innocence.
He hissed through his teeth and shook his head for some reason, searching for answers. "Umm...uh...You- Geeze, Jae. Um, I think I could semi stand it if the baby was yours."
Like a flower blooming in the middle of December, which was possible in Jaejoong's world, a smile glittered across his face and he snuggled deeper into his dongsaeng's warmth. A whisper of a "Thank you" hung on the air and blew away with the air conditioner that Yoochun always set to blow too high.
The two sat in a silence Changmin thought and wished would last forever or at least until the baby was born and he could be rid of all these strange, clashing emotions and powerful cravings for chocolate cupcakes. The silence only lasted so long.
"You know, some couples like to have sex even when the woman is pregnant," Jaejoong piped.
Changmin's eyes popped open so wide, he thought they'd be hanging from their sockets by a thread of nerves if Jaejoong pressed his lips any closer to his neck.
"W-What?!"
"Come on, Min, it'll be fun."
"No! That thing in your pants has gotten me in enough trouble."
"Don't forget, Min, you're a man," Jaejoong nipped at Changmin's favorite spot behind his ear. "I don't have to stick anything inside of you to give you pleasure."
"Nyaaaaah..." Any intelligent thought that might have formed in Changmin's brain went right to the rising problem in his pajama pants.
"Pleeease? I want to see what I can do to you with a rubber band, a beer bottle, pop rock candy and a teaspoon of sugar. Yoochun is too easy, so I need to try it on you. You haven't let anyone give you some in seven months and Yunho might join us later when he's finished peeing. Just keep a pillow over your stomach so he doesn't freak out again. Let's go."
The protests Changmin tossed into the heating air right there in the middle of the living room went completely unheeded. They would all soon be swallowed among other things into Jaejoong's mouth anyway.
And as he squirmed and moaned his way through another one of the elder man's experiments, Changmin vaguely wondered whether his current dilemma with one baby and four possible fathers was potent enough to severely alter his way of thinking, his perception of the world, his existence, his very being as deeply as he thought it would. But then again, did he care?
--------------------------
Min's baby would appreciate comments~
dbkrackweens
"Yah, Junsu! Where's my grapefruit juice?!!?" Little bits of spittle soared from Changmin's mouth.
It had been seven months. Or as Yoochun would say:
"Seven...long....months...." And then he'd choke and pass out on the kitchen floor while the scent of Jaejoong's fresh cooking wafted through his unconscious nostrils and the soothing sound of the maknae's shrill complaints floating from the living room raped his eardrums. That was this morning.
Two more months to go.
"JUNSU!!!!! DUCK BUTT!!!!! KAMO!!!!!!!! SU!!!!!!!! DOLPHIN BOY!!!!!!! KIM!!!!!!!! BIG-"
"Okay! Okay!" Junsu stormed into the living room grapefruit juice-less, his ears pink with irritation and an uncharacteristically permanent frown across his lips.
Changmin stared at the other man's hands as they balled up into fists (empty) and swished back and forth past his stomping legs. Empty hands were not good. Not good. "Where's the juice, Kim?"
"Up yours," was his curt retort.
"You're right, Kim, the juice is up mine," Changmin's stare hardened and dripped with irritated hormones and eminent threat. "Your juice. Remember? Up mine about seven months ago in the storage closet of that hotel. NOT an actual sleazy hotel room. But a storage closet of the sleazy hotel because you were just too horny to rent a room or wait til we got home."
He drummed his long fingers over his large, rounded belly, which Junsu had long given up the thought that it would ever cease expanding.
To the untrained eye (God bless our souls), Changmin simply seemed like a twenty-year-old man draped lazily on the couch in pajamas and bunny slippers at two in the afternoon with a giant bowling ball shoved inside his shirt.
Wrong. Very wrong. Changmin's fluctuating hormones told very, very wrong.
Junsu took a pillow off the couch and contemplated throwing at the younger man's face as if that would make his existence dissolve into thin air. If only.
Changmin raised an eyebrow. And then two eyebrows. And then his defiant chin until Junsu finally surrendered and promptly began smacking himself in the face with the plush.
"It's not-" Smack. "Even-" Smack. "My-" Smack. "Baby." Smack. Smack.
"Bullshit!"
Shocked, Junsu let the pillow fall to the floor.
"This could very well be your fricking baby!" Changmin raved, face pink and fingers grabbing at the stretched cloth of his shirt barely covering his bulbous stomach. "You screwed me the same as everyone else seven months ago, so you have to take part of the blame."
"Blame?" Junsu scoffed, face enclosing on Changmin's. "You were just as willing as I was. You weren't complaining when I said it was my turn to top. I never top. Even though I'm so manly. Why does no one let me top?"
"Yoochun let you top that one time," The youngest offered.
Junsu let out a ridiculous snort. "Only because you and Yunho joined us and there were so many arms and legs flying around, there was no telling who's cock was shoved in who's mouth or between who's legs."
"So why don't you ever get PREGNANT," More spittle broke free as Changmin threw emphasis at Junsu's face now only three inches away, "when everyone in this house is capable of pwning you into a writhing mess allowing easy access to your giant backside? Why me?!"
"Pwn?" Junsu's mouth dropped and the urge to punch a pregnant man had never seemed more sinful. "Pwn? Pwn? Pwn! Pwwwwn??"
Changmin rolled his eyes at this point.
"There is no PWNING of the Su," Junsu poked a finger into Changmin's chest, which was rather plump of late. "I let everyone top me because it feels good. To me. Especially Yunho and Yoochun. They are amazing."
Chanmgin fought the urge to nod in agreement.
"But when I want to top, everyone throws excuses at me or turns it into a race to see who can get the other pinned to the bed faster. And you guys never say, 'Go.' What's up with that? It's like not saying 'Bye' at the end of a phone conversation."
"You even let Jaejoong?" Changmin wrinkled his nose as if Junsu's lack of initiative were repulsive.
Junsu gave him a look that could rot blueberries. "Don't you dare give me that. He's just as big a part of this whole pregnancy thing as I am."
Changmin puffed air through his superior nose. "I'm the youngest. I can let Jaejoong top whenever I want without losing face. You on the other hand..."
Junsu's heated face was almost touching Changmin's. "He confuses me into sex. It is not shameful."
"And your point is...?" Changmin vaguely waved his hands through the air.
Junsu let out a loud groan which was sure to wake up Yoochun in the next room. He was failing at trying to get as much sleep as possible these days and Changmin helped him fail in any way he could.
"YOU let me top for once at the hotel," His brown eyes raged. "It's YOUR fault you're pregnant, so quit taking it out on US."
"My fault?" Changmin countered, his finger poking his own share of hostility into Junsu's collarbone. "How was I supposed to know I was going to get pregnant? Pregnant?! I supposedly have a Y chromosome and yet I'm supposed to be held accountable for this? I blame your smelly cum."
Junsu smirked and let a short chuckle rake it's way past his nasal canal. "And you say I'm unmanly."
Changmin responded with a quick smack to Junsu's face. The other gasped in disbelief and reared his own hand back. But the thought of forcefully hitting a person with another life carried inside his...womb(??) made Junsu bite down on his tongue. So he settled with moderately shoving Changmin's shoulder.
Changmin shoved back.
Junsu shoved again.
Changmin slapped Junsu's hand.
Junsu slapped Changmin's hand.
Changmin slapped Junsu's hand.
Junsu slapped Changmin's hand.
The two had a brief slap fight.
"This is stupid," Changmin huffed, crossing his arms.
"You're stupid," Junsu sat back on the couch and crossed his own arms.
"Your cum is stupid."
The other grinned nastily. "You like my stupid cum."
For a moment, Changmin had nothing to say other than blinking and opening and closing his mouth silently. Then he finally shoved angry hot air through his nose. "Only because you're the only one stupid enough to drink lemon juice right before you know you're going to have sex."
Junsu shrugged and smiled wider. "Which is why everyone likes to top me. Easy access to the delicious Fountain of Su."
"Oh, so you have a different excuse now?"
"It's is not an excuse," Junsu rounded back on the other still sprawled into the cushions. "It is fact."
Changmin didn't answer for a while, but the stare he gave the other didn't look defeated. In fact, Junsu couldn't quite decipher what exactly was passing through the raging river of hormones that plagued Changmin's general demeanor for the past few months.
"...So..." Changmin appeared to search Junsu's face. "Where's my grapefruit juice?"
Yoochun awoke to the cacophony of high-pitched squeals emitting from the living room and the sight he beheld when he groggily floated to the origin of the noises woke him up quite thoroughly as Junsu entangled his fingers through Changmin's head in a painful looking grip.
"Junsu! Su, stop! You're going to kill him and the baby," Yoochun rushed to the scene of the almost-homocide and wrapped his arms around the other's waist.
"We'll get the baby out of him okay," Junsu snarled. "I just want to murder him."
Yoochun sighed and pressed himself into Junsu's back, sliding his hands up his body, over his outstretched arms and splayed over his clenched fingers full of Changmin's hair.
"Junsu," The pitch of his voice dropped below the physical capacity of sound and rumbled sensually into the other's ear. "Go to my bedroom and I'll be right with you in a second, okay?" His other hand played teasingly with the waistband of the other man's jeans. He made sure to squeeze out all the heat he could muster from his mouth and waft it into Junsu's skin to say the next thing: "And bring the ice cream."
The heat of Yoochun's voice illogically strum a powerful shiver through Junsu's spine as he let go of the maknae's scalp to take hold of Yoochun's belt loops, pressing the man's body further into his back. The eldest had to gently shove him towards the door to avoid loosening Junsu's nerves right there in front of Changmin.
"Get the chocolate," Yoochun growled to the other's exiting back.
"I want vanilla," Junsu called back decisively.
Yoochun gave a quick shake of his head. "But I want chocolate. You're not the one who's going to be eating it."
"But you're not going to be the one with cold ice cream drizzled all over him," His voice already rang out from somewhere in the kitchen.
"But...aish," Yoochun took one look at Changmin's impatient, ever-pissed face and resigned. Anything would taste good on Junsu anyway.
Changmin held his gaze. It wasn't necessarily a disgusted look after he had just sat in the middle of the previous, potentially awkward conversation. It was simply...another shade of pissed. Yoochun noticed that the other seemed to be coming up with all kinds of shades of that emotion lately. This one just about as unnameable as all the others.
"So..." Yoochun said at length, clapping his hands together at an attempt at casualty. However, it seemed that the youngest only wanted casualties.
"Sit," he snapped.
Yoochun's butt hit the cushion before Changmin could even pronounce the end of the syllable. Lately, his days had been filled with fear and caution as he teetered around the edges of Changmin's swarming emotions. And to think that he could possibly be the reason for his and the younger man's misery? It brought him to tears every night. Jaejoong was actually getting a bit tired of it.
"Minmin," Yoochun used to term of endearment to block the sobs positioned somewhere down his throat threatening to spill over once again. He'd already cried himself to sleep twice today. "You should calm down. All this stress isn't good for the baby."
Changmin's brown eyes turned to slits. "Baby?" He used the word as a weapon, wielding it like an estrogen-sized sword to cut at the other's sensitive soul. "You mean your baby?"
Yoochun's eyes went wide and he swallowed. Hard. "I-It might not even be my baby."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," Changmin mused mockingly and put his thumb and index finger up to his chin in thought. "All I know is, one morning of the week I let Junsu pound me against a towel rack in the storage room of a hotel, you woke me up with a blow job and proceeded to flip me over to finish the job."
Yoochun's mouth went about as wide as his eyes, salted water brimming around his eyelashes. "You said you liked it."
"You took advantage of me," Changmin said bitingly.
"But Thursdays are your day," Yoochun protested. "You know that. I give you your morning blow job on Thursdays, Junsu gets it on Mondays because he's the only one alert enough on that day not to kick me out of bed. Yunho gets it-"
"So you admit you impregnated me."
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!
No!
"Maybe!"
"Probably!"
"Aha!" Changmin's glare cut through his hyung's sanity. "You admit it. You dog."
Yoochun gasped. "You don't mean that. It's the hormones talking."
"And who gave me these hormones, huh? Who's the only one in the house girlier than Junsu to send his girl-waves into my core and curse me with this wonderful bundle of joy?"
The other tilted his head to the side. "Bundle of joy?"
Changmin shrugged. "Just because it's weird that I'm pregnant doesn't mean I don't like kids."
"So what's the problem?"
"I'M PREGNANT!"
The rain of fists Changmin sent pummeling into the other's head did nothing to stop Yoochun's falling tears.
Yunho saved Yoochun's life after a resolute flush from the bathroom. Well, first, he walked into the living room and raised one eyebrow at the two for a long time. Then he contemplated ordering the youngest to stop killing Yoochun, but it was Sunday and he still had a slight hangover from the night before.
Finally he grabbed Changmin's flailing hands, risking another pang in his skull and watched Yoochun flee from the room, hair sticking in all directions. But it was soon to be dampened with ice cream and other fluids and that was alright with him.
Yunho took one look at Changmin's twisted face and froze.
Again.
Ever since the other had come home from the clinic about seven months ago speechless and screaming at the same time (Apparently, it's possible), Yunho's mind would completely freeze into mush (Apparently, that's possible, too) and even Jaejoong couldn't shake him out of it for hours.
And so he stared vacantly and Changmin rolled his eyes.
"Hyung."
Stare.
"No one got me my grapefruit juice," He tapped a tense finger over his belly in irritation.
Stare.
"Go get it for me?"
Stare.
Changmin rolled his eyes again only this time, further back into his head until he could almost see his well-developed brain. At least, he knew it was well-developed.
"This is your fault, too, you know." He used his words to probe at the awake, but unconscious man. But everyone knew that only made it worse.
Stare.
"Remember, hyung?"
Stare.
" 'Come on, Min. Let's see a movie.' "
Stare.
"And then we went to see a movie."
Stare.
"And you made me sit in your lap."
Stare.
" 'Come on, Min. Sit in my lap.' "
Stare.
"And you had your pants unbuttoned."
Stare.
"And you wouldn't let me sit anywhere else but your lap."
Stare.
"Your horny, stiff lap."
Stare.
"I heard the girl behind us whisper to her friend why I was sitting in some guy's lap bouncing up and down."
Stare.
"I didn't hear what her friend said but they left after that."
Stare.
"Remember, hyung? Remember?"
Stare.
"I can't even remember what the movie was about. Do you, hyung? Do you remember?"
Stare.
"The popcorn got soggy, but it wasn't with butter."
Stare.
"I bet it's your baby, hyung. Yours."
Stare.
"Changmin, stop taunting him," Jaejoong reprimanding voice carried from the hallway until the man was standing in the room with the two. "He's traumatized enough as it is."
"Him traumatized?" Changmin scoffed, pointing dismissively at the frozen man beside him. "What about me? I'm carrying LIFE. I think I have a womb in my ball sack."
The eldest man threw a withering look at him and pressed his palm into Yunho's shoulder. "Yunho. Come back to us, Yunho."
Stare.
Jaejoong sighed. "Yunho, go to the bathroom and pee again. You'll feel refreshed, okay?"
Not much response came, but Jaejoong noticed a trembling effort in his limbs to try standing up. He wove his arms around Yunho's chest and helped him up from the couch and gently guided the zombie towards the door. Once he was gone, Jaejoong wheeled back towards Changmin, hands on his hips.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" Changmin asked innocently, snark lurking behind his every word.
"Strip Yunho of the man he is with your words and turn him into a walking comatose victim with no brain."
Changmin snorted, ready to take the bait Jaejoong lowered so precariously in front of him for his own manipulation and toss it at Yunho's pride, but another warning look from the eldest clamped his mouth shut.
"You don't have to act like this, you know," Jaejoong took a spot on the couch intimately close to Changmin and slide his arm around the other man's shoulders, soothingly rubbing back and forth.
"Don't get me started on you," Changmin retorted accusingly. "You're the one that wanted to try a new position with me the same night Yoochun gave me my wake up call."
"Do you want to switch days with me?" Jaejoong asked, concerned. "Was Thursday not good? How about Friday? Yoochun gives me my wake up call on Fridays."
"No." Changmin said it like a command. "And I'd be surprised if you even remembered Yoochun's wake up call that day since you kept me up all night the night before. You were even stayed in my room til morning."
A quick flash of a smile gleamed upon Jaejoong's plump lips. "I don't remember. I probably slept right through it from exhaustion. But that turns Yoochun on."
All Changmin could do was glare with as much intensity as he could muster. "I'd hate it if this was your baby. You'd both be crazy."
"Then we'd know who's baby it is," Jaejoong let out a throaty laugh. He traced Changmin's tense jawline with a finger and kissed him sweetly on the lips, licking the ferocity from the youngest's mouth. "And you like me crazy."
Changmin ground his fists into the couch, semi-helplessly. "I want my grapefruit juice! Tell Junsu to stop licking ice cream off of Yoochun and get my grapefruit juice like I politely asked him an hour ago."
Idly, Jaejoong slowly but gently rubbed one hand over Changmin's protruding stomach and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Don't be silly. Yoochun is the one licking ice cream off of Junsu. I saw them."
"I bet you joined them," Changmin took a brief whiff of the man on his shoulder. "You smell like vanilla."
"I prefer mint chocolate chip but anything works on Junsu," Jaejoong casually commented with a smack of his lips.
"You're all dogs....who don't get pregnant," Changmin added with an irritated glance away from Jaejoong.
"Did you ever get a period?" He fully ignored the other's wild intake of air and continued stroking his full stomach.
Changmin stared incredulously with his mouth open for a moment.
"Do you have a womb?"
"I-I don't know, hyung! What's wrong with you?"
"But you said you had one in your ball sack," He fought to keep the smile from bubbling to the surface and exploding into uncontrollable giggles.
A frustrated groan escaped Changmin's lips and he threw his head back on the couch. "Whatever. Maybe I should calm down every now and then. For the baby." Jaejoong always knew exactly how to drive him crazy. It was one of the things that kept Changmin coming back for more.
"I'll cook you something good later today," Jaejoong voice seemed to sing into Changmin's heart and kneaded away the bundle of irritation that clung around his every breath.
"Mmmmm," Changmin mused, squeezing Jaejoong's thigh. "I have a craving for-"
"How do you even remember who exactly did what to you that week seven months ago?" Jaejoong suddenly turned to look up at him with wide, dark eyes.
Changmin's own brown eyes went puzzled. Again. "I calculated it the day the doctor stared at me and told me I was six weeks pregnant. And I have a good sex memory."
"Oh," Jaejoong's head lowered back to it's warm spot on the other man's shoulder. "Can we name it Minjae?"
The puzzled essence of Changmin's expression snapped to bewilderment and he was sure he felt his eye twitch. "Minjae? Why are you thinking about this?"
"I even put your name first," The eldest pouted. "Boy or girl, I want Minjae."
"I don't want any part of you in my baby," Changmin fiercely objected, earning a soft, melted look from Jaejoong that could make time go backwards.
"You...don't want it to be my baby...?" Changmin could swear he saw the other man's eyelash dampen with liquid innocence.
He hissed through his teeth and shook his head for some reason, searching for answers. "Umm...uh...You- Geeze, Jae. Um, I think I could semi stand it if the baby was yours."
Like a flower blooming in the middle of December, which was possible in Jaejoong's world, a smile glittered across his face and he snuggled deeper into his dongsaeng's warmth. A whisper of a "Thank you" hung on the air and blew away with the air conditioner that Yoochun always set to blow too high.
The two sat in a silence Changmin thought and wished would last forever or at least until the baby was born and he could be rid of all these strange, clashing emotions and powerful cravings for chocolate cupcakes. The silence only lasted so long.
"You know, some couples like to have sex even when the woman is pregnant," Jaejoong piped.
Changmin's eyes popped open so wide, he thought they'd be hanging from their sockets by a thread of nerves if Jaejoong pressed his lips any closer to his neck.
"W-What?!"
"Come on, Min, it'll be fun."
"No! That thing in your pants has gotten me in enough trouble."
"Don't forget, Min, you're a man," Jaejoong nipped at Changmin's favorite spot behind his ear. "I don't have to stick anything inside of you to give you pleasure."
"Nyaaaaah..." Any intelligent thought that might have formed in Changmin's brain went right to the rising problem in his pajama pants.
"Pleeease? I want to see what I can do to you with a rubber band, a beer bottle, pop rock candy and a teaspoon of sugar. Yoochun is too easy, so I need to try it on you. You haven't let anyone give you some in seven months and Yunho might join us later when he's finished peeing. Just keep a pillow over your stomach so he doesn't freak out again. Let's go."
The protests Changmin tossed into the heating air right there in the middle of the living room went completely unheeded. They would all soon be swallowed among other things into Jaejoong's mouth anyway.
And as he squirmed and moaned his way through another one of the elder man's experiments, Changmin vaguely wondered whether his current dilemma with one baby and four possible fathers was potent enough to severely alter his way of thinking, his perception of the world, his existence, his very being as deeply as he thought it would. But then again, did he care?
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Min's baby would appreciate comments~