Dear Diary~ [Page 24 - Jaejoong]
[Page 24 - Jaejoong] Um. Some of you know how I just started college recently, right? So. Um. This entry is *cough* loosely *cough* based on a true story...O_O *hides*
Dear Diary,
I am so totally NOT in a closet right now!
Ha!
But I got lost the other day. I’m ashamed.
I just wanted to visit Changmin at his university. You know, a surprise treat because he’s been good boy lately. (Not like everyone else these days.) But…man, college campuses are confusing.
I remember that he said something about his last class being on JYP Avenue, so I parked somewhere near there and started to walk. (Driving on college campuses is even more confusing…)
And so I’m walking…and I’m walking…and I’m walking…and I’m walking…
…
And I’m walking…
And, like…no Hyori Center of Mathematics building. A lot of dorms.
Actually, I don’t see why Changmin agreed to move in with us. The dorms looked amazing from the outside. I mean, I saw a beach volleyball net behind one of them. Volleyball. And a mini beach. And a net.
Oh, wait, I know why he decided to move out.
Because we are JaeHoChunSu awesome with a dash of Min.
Anyway, as you can imagine, Diary, I got tired of walking so I decided to take one of those buses that run through the campus. I don’t even know which one I got on. I just knew it was going to take me somewhere.
And so I’m riding…and I’m riding…and I’m riding…and…
…I’m riding…
Pretty soon, I was pretty sure I was 90 miles away from campus. I felt like I had just hitched a ride to the South Pole to see the penguins with a directionally challenged person, made a wrong turn and ended up in front of Santa Claus' house. I was denying it the whole time and trying to stay positive for Changmin’s smiling face, but I had to face facts.
I was lost.
Yunho wouldn’t have gotten lost. Why is everyone more competent than me? Like, Yoochun never trips over himself almost every morning getting out of bed on that same spot in the doorway before you enter the kitchen like I do. And he sleepwalks. (He has to. That’s the only explanation.)
Well, at least Junsu is capable of my stupidity, but he’s cute enough to ask for directions and get ice cream from random strangers. If I asked for help, I’d get stared at first like I’m some kind of, I don’t know, a god and then they’d look me in the eyes and run. I’m not a cold person! I swear! I want ice cream, too!
…
So about me getting lost. The bus driver man-lady looked at me (since I was the only loser passenger on the bus) and barked at me to get off. It was about 7 o’clock, but the buses don’t stop running that early, do they? I mean, I know it was the summer session at Changmin’s college, but…people still need to get places!
Whatever. I got off and watched the sign on top of the bus blink *Out of Service* and disappear over a hill.
Oh. The hills. No wonder Changmin is so fit. Walking around in those trenches all day has got to give him calves of steel. All that natural working out and Yunho still won’t quit taking Changmin with him to the gym like I asked? No one wants to work with me here.
Yeah, so while I was trying to find my way back to the parking lot, I encountered a lot of hills. A. LOT. A freaking lot. A freaking lot times 1000000.
After about, oh, 30 minutes of hills the ground finally leveled out. Yay?
Not yay.
It was a stupid dead end, mother fu-
Ahem. I didn’t want to repeat every last one of those hills-no, I did NOT-so, it was my luck that I found a sign that pointed to a nature trail walk through the woods. The path was well worn out and I saw a few people jogging, so I figured, why not? The trail started there, it had to end somewhere else on campus.
And so I’m walking…and I’m walking…and I’m walking…and I’m avoiding a stupid rabid squirrel…and I’m walking…and I’m getting bitten by demon mosquitoes…and I’m walking…
…
THE STUPID NATURE TRAIL WAS A CIRCLE.
A big, old, fat, circular, curvaceous, non-straight CIRCLE.
Gaaaaahhhh!
Ahem. I’m letting my frustrations out here, Diary, because while the whole nightmare was happening to me, I was determined to stay positive. I couldn’t let Changmin see me all steamed up and angry when I wanted to make him smile.
All I wanted was that smile, dang it.
That reminds me, why is everyone I know acting so uptight these days? I know all my friends couldn’t have gotten hopelessly lost on the way to see their boyfriends like I did.
Like, I called Kangin-hyung the other day and we were talking okay for a while and then I called him gramps-it slipped out! I forgot that he didn’t like me calling him that.
Leeteuk is just so willing about me still calling him granny and he was in the background yelling something like, “KANGINNIE!! WHERE ARE THE CONDOMS?!?!? RYEOWOOK NEEDS SOME D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E-L-Y!!”
So, so…I called him gramps. And then he snapped at me. Diary, getting snapped at by Kangin is not fun. The only reason I didn’t go crying to Changmin is because Kangin was on the phone all the way across town. No way he can touch me from home. Ha and ha!
But still, Kangin was all like, “What is wrong with you?! Everyone I know is crazy. Leeteuk keeps complaining that I don’t appreciate him and I still can’t understand a word Hankyung says to me! He called earlier and apparently he’s pissed. But it’s not like I can help ‘cause all I heard was something about Heechul and fried rice. Just stop calling me, people!”
I’m sad. Hyung hung up on me.
And then he called me back ten seconds later to say he is most certainly not old, nor has he gained any weight. I didn’t even mention his weight. Prick.
So, I had to walk all the way-Yes, ALL the way-back over those hills. Every last one of them before I even got a whiff of society again. And even then, I still had no idea where I was.
I was so tired, Diary. I didn’t even want to see my dongsaeng anymore. There was plenty of food to cook for him at home.
Now starts the hide and seek for bus stops.
It was like…they were everywhere I looked before when I wasn't looking for them and now that I was lost…they were no where. Seriously. Just all sidewalk and no buses.
I passed so many smart looking buildings, but none of them were my Minmin’s Hyori College of Mathematics.
Take my side, Diary. Don’t be like those other people, please. I was tired. I was sweating. My legs hurt. Yoochun had probably already eaten the couch in my absence back at home. My small waist is not built for caring my defined shoulders long distances. And the sun was disappearing, so little boys like me didn’t need to be out on the street alone and confused.
I just didn’t look like the most friendly person in the world at that moment.
I mean, usually people think I’m scary and cold when I’m in a good mood and won a game against Yoochun. But I was…not in a good mood.
And I needed to ask someone for help. That’s like…human interaction, right?
A small group of college girls passed by me too closely while travelling up ANOTHER hill, so I snarled at them. I couldn’t exactly ask them where the parking lot on JYP Avenue was after that.
The next guy I passed looked me up and down like I was a piece of meat and whistled. If I had asked him for directions, either I would have eaten his face and spat it out or he would have had his way with me behind the bushes before he realized I kinda don't have boobs.
When you’re in a mood like I was, Diary, these kinds of situations do not flow by so well.
I felt like, like, like…
Junsu!
Okay, Diary, Junsu has been acting weird, too. He has been…oh, what’s a more specific description…um….
A WASTE OF SPACE, LIFE, AND HUMAN CAPACITY FOR EXISTANCE.
Basically.
He is either one of three things:
1. A drool-monkey: noun. Commonly drifts in and out of nearby bathrooms and is often found with a far away look in his face. Dolphin-like sounds are unusually not quite as pervasive.
2. Electrocuted hamster-puppy: adjective. A Junsu state of mind in which massive amounts of twitching are prevalent. May respond to verbal stimuli at severely increased volumes. Demonstrates a refusal to eat healthy foods filled with love and has frequent spells of shallow breathing.
3. FrankenSu: noun. A Junsu in which mental functions are slowed or halted all together. Often sleeps on the couch in broad daylight, but can be heard tossing and turning at night. No longer responds to such stimuli as love-filled food, Changmin complaints or bathing. No longer communicates with fellow humans. Hates soccer. Slang: A fricking wuss.
Anyway, I felt bad. But I eventually found enough energy to paste a smile on my face and asked some random senior-looking girl for directions. She told me and I went and I got in the car and I went home.
I actually saw Changmin joking with Kyuhyun on my way to the parking lot, but…I couldn’t. I feel guilty about it now, but my attitude at the time would have brought him down. I did make up for it by making really good chicken back at home. Success.
I must have put on a freak show for Yunho right when I got home, though. I didn’t talk to anyone at the apartment. Just threw my keys somewhere, jumped in the shower, and then ended up in the kitchen cooking.
I don’t think Yoochun or Junsu were too perturbed by my pissy-ness. Both of them have been acting stranger that usual.
Yoochun is much quieter and Junsu…well, I already said it. Are they sick? Did they have a fight? Did Heechul spike their drinks?
Ah, that’s probably all they need. A couple of drinks. Unexplained tension can build up, even around friends. We all need to loosen up a bit. Maybe go on a group date.
I know for a fact, a little booze every once in a while is good for the soul. That one time me and Kibum went out…and got in a little trouble. Good times…. That intersection didn’t need a stop sign, anyway….
Uh-oh. There goes Junsu’s soul again. I’ll go dangle a soccer ball in his face…
~Jaeboo??
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